#hough. posts written while looping various versions of xion's theme

[goldensunset]

Hey. Pspsps.

I don't 100% know who your favorite characters are.

If I asked you to pick one and go ham telling me about them, would you?

*grabs you* ok today i’m gonna change it up and talk about a pair of characters i don’t usually talk about

loooong story short (i'll dm you the story if you want or something) roxas and xion were the reason i got into the kh franchise. their story and their unique indescribable connection to our wonderful protagonist singlehandedly took me from the mindset of 'haha kh is a dumb wacky disney fanfiction' to 'this is genuinely a stunning and heartwrenching piece of media full of so much honest and serious emotion and love and i'm insane now'

here's a boy who was never meant to exist, a mistake, someone who doesn't even possess the full capability to experience emotions, someone who's just the inferior resentful shadow of another who needs to die so that the precious original can come back. but he wasn't gonna take that lying down he fought tooth and nail until the bitter end against his fate and defiantly proclaimed that he was human and he was himself and yet it was all in vain. but it still mattered. it mattered to us and it mattered to those who knew him. the love was there even if it couldn't save him it still mattered.

meanwhile, here's a girl who's just a patchwork mess of pieces of other people. a clone of both sora and roxas, meant as a backup vessel for xehanort, wielding what used to be riku's key, having accidentally absorbed select memories of kairi from the magic naminé wove. it's a miracle she exists at all. does she exist at all? she was an 'it', an empty thing designed to mimic the fighting capabilities of another, who gradually started absorbing that other's memories of some girl until it subconsciously tricked itself into thinking it was that girl. suddenly 'it' became 'she.' but she had her own life experiences and therefore was not that girl but someone new entirely. what exactly did her mind look like? what did it feel like to be her? her mind was just a fragment of sora's mind and she didn't even know who he was. the insane headaches and crises that came free with her very existence drove her to seek answers and eventually made her realize she shouldn't even be alive.

but she was so brave. she was so so brave and resolute and made the firm decision to sacrifice herself for the greater good even though she should've never had to. it was the only agency she had and she took hold of it. she knew there was never any hope for her but she at least wanted something good to come out of her demise. roxas didn't really have that same agency even though he seems more proactive as a character at first glance. roxas fought and fought but was constantly being dragged here and there by the narrative up until the end. he fought his fate and xion accepted hers and they both met the same tragic end.

in kh2fm we saw what was left of roxas, angrily fighting back inside of sora. he was full of hate and anger and who can blame him? he should've won. he was stronger. almost. but victory eluded him once more. it was all for nothing and roxas faded again and sora was so confused and full of sadness he didn't even understand.

then in ddd we again saw roxas within sora's mindscape, but that time he was so so different. that time he was calm and smiling and gentle. roxas had surrendered. but sora told him what we'd all been wanting to tell him- he was his own person and deserved to be treated as such. to which roxas said like the best line in the series: 'sora, see? that's why it has to be you.'

roxas wanted things his way, he wanted his own life, he was bitter and sick of people telling him he had to make sacrifices for others. roxas would've gotten rid of others for his own sake. meanwhile sora had always been intensely loving and selfless. sora was always reaching out to people, seeing the light and humanity in them, caring about them. i'm not saying roxas was bad for wanting to live or that sora's insane constant self-sacrificial behavior isn't deeply worrying but the point here is: sora was the hero roxas wasn't.

roxas recognized this. that's why it had to be sora. if it was the other way around, roxas wouldn't have had the strength to be the person sora was. he would've never surrendered on his own. he had to be forced to surrender and then spend time within sora's heart to begin to understand him and to begin to love him.

roxas resented sora because roxas had to be sacrificed in his name. he didn't want to die to save someone he didn't even know who was apparently his real self and the only person who mattered. roxas was sick of hearing about him. but then once roxas met him he couldn't help but love him too. both because sora is just that easy to love, and because something in roxas resonated with- well, his other. that was him and that wasn't him and that was who he used to be and that was who he would be and they each held a piece of each other within them and even though they were their own people they would obviously be forever linked.

the bond that was created between sora and roxas transcends anything i really even have the language to say. or anyone who speaks this language to say. or possibly anyone in existence. that's self love and love of another in one. they're part of each other. i'm really normal about it

#*lies down* #roxas #sora #xion #kingdom hearts #mine: kh #hough. posts written while looping various versions of xion's theme #asks #stresslitzia