#how i should have studied architecture instead of pharmacy and i do hide the fact that i like to write from them but also

[raininyourblackeyes]

omg i have an ask that says "what's your favourite ancient civilization?" that i'm so anxious to answer actually because i don't think i'm qualified to have one...? like i did want to study archaeology but my plan was to catch up to fun stuff and detailed facts in uni once i was away from my family because that was an easier way to live since my dad only valued mathematics and physics as something i should've been spending my time on. so like to avoid being called stupid and useless and disappointment to him more than was necessary, my knowledge of history in general was restricted to basic stuff we learned in school and when i started uni i deleted most of that stuff from my memory because well turns out i won't need that and it's easier not to think of an alternate universe where the pandemic didn't happen and i got out, instead of remaining stuck with my family studying pharmacy... and even from the school stuff, we only focuesed on mesopotamia, persia, ancient egypt and then everything else was europe. so my knowledge of ancient civilizations beyong that is that they existed. i was planning to learn about as much suff as possible during that summer before starting university but that obviously didn't happen and now i feel so underqualified to actually answer that harmless little ask. like answering ancient egypt or ancient greece or ancient rome because i remember the most about them from school because we did study those the most sounds boring but i also literally would need to google english spelling and exact names for anything more fun that i remember. like my knowledge is that little. i shouldn't be getting this worked up over an ask lmao but i don't want to have this rant be an answer to it so i have to get it out before i eventually gather what little i remember and try to figure out an answer

#besties i had to get a license for judging skating for my dad to stop yelling at me for watching it #i read classics for school at home because those were acceptable books and usually discussed over dinner but any fantasy and sci-fi etc #had to be read on the bus to school (if i was going by the bus) so he wouldn't find out and deem me a waste of money and his time #i spent from august 2019 to february 2020 slowly explaining that studying archaeology abroad wouldn't be pointless and wouldn't be somethin #only people who can't get into any other faculty would study for him to reluctantly agree #to this day he is saying that the pandemic was actually perfect for me because i didn't throw away my life and potential #i was to my country's biggest museum thrice in my life. mandatory school visits. #okay but not to give you a wrong picture my parents really really aren't strict or anything #sure i do lie to my dad a lot but rn i am the only person who gets along with him at home #like yeah i have to be home by 22 at last but that's reasonable to me i see no reason to stay out that late #i have never been to a club sure but i also would rather eat my own arm than go to a club #yes they do ignore the fact that i hate drawing and painting in favour of boasting how talented i am and yeah my dad is complaining #how i should have studied architecture instead of pharmacy and i do hide the fact that i like to write from them but also #i did paint my cousin's book covers so it's kind of difficult for them to understand that i don't like that and writing is a silly hobby