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coolfire333 · 3 years

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MAJOR deltarune chapter 2 spoilers below the cut!!!

But here are my thoughts, I didn’t think to type this up as a live-reaction type thing until late in the game so some of this is typed up as I go but most will probably come after I’ve finished

Ok first off, I love the aesthetics of chapter 2 so much!! The first chapter was really good too (I am a sucker for card game aesthetics what can I say) but the music, the enemies, the atmosphere is just so fantastic in part 2.

Toby (and Temmie since I know she does a lot of the spritework and designing) and whoever else was working on this did such an excellent job

I also got stupidly excited over the fact that the original Starwalker joined our inventory and I about died when they started walking behind us. I love the little icon in the menu and it’s really Pissing me off that they couldn’t join the party for real. Original Starwalker appreciation post :)

ALSO unrelated to this area but guys try to go all the way to the bottom of the yellow car traffic puzzle. It’s hard but there is a Funny there, please trust me it’ll be worth it.

You have to be careful when timing the lights (I think I stopped the red cars before the yellow) and try not to bump into anything so Kris doesn’t lose their speed when trying to get there.

Speaking of dudes who I love, Spamton is absolutely supreme, I seriously cannot get enough of this guy. I didn’t think to start this post until after I fought him so I don’t have any images but his theme music is awesome.

I don’t care if he’s super sketchy and questionable I’m giving him all my kromer. Going to become a big shot. Also the menu outside the shop isn’t lying his potions really do poison you inside and outside of battle lol

I’m stuck doing his basement puzzle because I have no spatial awareness so I keep dying to the bullets on the teacup ride back up. I’m nervous because this situation is just reminding me of the Jevil fight, I hope whatever secret miniboss comes out of this has a little mercy on me.

And I don’t fully remember but I think when you first talk to him about the Knight he mentions a “clown,” does he know Jevil? He seems like the kind of character who knows more about things than he should, much like Jevil or Seam.

Also interesting is the fact that if you go back to the shopkeepers in the city, Kris seems to say something about Spamton to them and they either deny knowing him or say that they refuse to bring his name up ever again. Hm. Someone who’s done a lot more digging into this game can probably make a good theorypost about him but there’s weird stuff here

Also the Queen is so hilarious. God just look at these portraits, they laugh at you when the song in this room gets to the point where the Queen laughs, and I love that detail :)

I hate to make the homestuck comparison but she reminds me of a cross between Kanaya and Roxy and knowing Toby’s homestuck background I do wonder about that. Also more nice comparison to superstar saga but her theme song kinda gives me Cackletta vibes. She is great :)

Also I thought that maybe based on her design that she was supposed to be Lancer’s mom, like the Spade Queen or something, but Lancer didn’t make any comments to suggest that? It does make me wonder where the remaining queens and jacks are, if there are any.

We see the rest of the kings locked in the basement of the palace (later in Ralsei’s house too), and when looking at Lancer in the overworld inventory it says he’s the jack of spades, so do the other kings have sons? Are there queens too? I’m really curious about this.

Later addition #1: Spamton neo battle?????? He can turn your soul yellow!! New soul mechanics holy crap :0

His earlier theme also reminded me of the songs in undertale associated with the ghosts/dummies, the fact that he has even more callbacks to Mettaton in his later battle is very interesting. This song really reminds of “Ghost Fight” from undertale too. ALSO I can hear the same melody from “The World Revolving” in one section of this song too........REALLY interesting.

Same line as in the Jevil battle too....hmmm :/

Also what is “the power of NEO”? Second time this has been mentioned in the ut/dr series, and iirc Mettaton neo only shows up in a no mercy run? Really really odd stuff happening here

And this is a new game over screen than the usual chapter 2 one! It also says “Please, don’t give up!” after this. I didn’t recognize the text’s voice either...and I feel like the music is slightly different? Not totally sure. If anyone else has thoughts on this let me know. I’m probably gonna be seeing this screen a lot though, Spamton’s hard lol but I still think he’s really cool

OH and after dying a lot (idk how many times lol) it says “Come on, that all you got!? Kris, get up...!” hm, still unsure who this voice is...maybe Ralsei? It’s high pitched but I’m not fully sure it’s high enough to be him speaking

Later addition #2: God that battle was unsettling. “Spamton begs to the audience. Spamton prays to the audience.” is such a haunting line. And the ending...man. Really creeps me out.

I have the dealmaker glasses now though so that’s pretty sweet. I wore the mannequin with Kris thinking it might do something in battle with him but I still have no idea what it does unless the effect was really subtle. If someone knows what the mannequin does I’d love to hear it. Also I hope we get to see the optional bosses again, I really like Spamton and Jevil...bring them back :(

Later addition #3: WOAH ok sounds like Spamton was making weird deals with Gaster?? Maybe Jevil was too, Spamton does mention a “clown” in his neo fight and he seems pretty upset with the notion that he is a “clown” so maybe Gaster is the one making all sorts of weird alliances with the secret bosses?

Anyway, all the shopkeepers left to gather outside Spamton’s shop in the trash dump and they’re all talking about him, it’s actually sad to hear his backstory...but the last one mentions a phone in Spamton’s room being left off the hook, and when they listened to whoever was on the other end they say “There was nothing but garbage noise.” which is similar to the “It’s nothing but garbage noise.” text that shows up when you try using the phone in the dark world. HMMMMM.

Later addition #4:

ROUXLS KAARD!!!!

Also idk if I fully trust Ralsei (we don’t know much about him at all and when chapter 1 came out I read an analysis of him that compared him a lot to early-game Flowey so I’m suspicious of his kindness) but this boat ride was sweet.

Does Ralsei have a little crush on Kris?? I might have been reading into it too much, I’m bad at seeing this kind of thing so idk maybe he just wants to be their friend and feels all sweetly about that but he was very much complimenting Kris a lot and blushing a ton on this boat ride lol

OH MY GOD YES IT’S THE MACHINE TO THRASH MY OWN ASS (almost forgot I made it bi pride edition LOL)

Also actual RK battle heck yeah!!!!

Later addition #5: Berdly has a crush on Susie. Oh my god. I guess that’s kinda cute that he likes her since she was actually genuinely nice to him but oh my god no. I will say that even though I didn’t like Berdly at first, his speech about being the “smart kid” was very emotionally resonant, I really feel for him and Noelle, and he seems like he’s got a good heart. But dude maybe don’t go after Susie (and maybe talk a little less too haha)

Later addition #6:

DUDE this battle music!! This was a really cool battle omg

Ralsei is starting to concern me, idk I’m still kinda suspicious of whatever is going on

Later addition #7: I love how the town now looks omg

They’re all back!!! I love the music vendors :)

Later addition #8: Um so I got to the ending of chapter 2. Hm. I have to think about this for a while.

But I really enjoyed this game!!! I might boot up another save file so I can fool around with it more, but this was such a blast! :)

#SPOILERS #deltarune #long post #talking

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originalhomestuckscenarios · 4 years

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Can I get a match? I'm a panro/ace genderfluid polyam person. I'm 4"11 and Im v thin. But when I threaten people it hurts. I have a brown bowl cut, and I love the arts in general (art, writing, music, theater, etc.) and I am constantly anxious! I'm a page of hope and a derse dreamer! Hope thats enough info!

Here is my surprise- icons specially made for matchups! Also damn I write a lot of Equius stuff recently aren't I?

I match you with...

Equius Zahhak

He never paid much attention to your looks and allways took you seriously. So if you go as far as threaten people he whould try to stop you.

He admires art just as much as you do so you often end up talking about any forms of art.

When it comes to your feelings he allways was unsure of them. But he whould allways ask if you were okay whenever he saw you acting off.

~Mod Kanaya

#hs equius #homestuck equius #equius zahhak #Equius x reader

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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ upd8 2020-01-17

Alright, morningblogging yesterday’s 2020-01-17 upd8 to Homestuck^2 let’s go! Spoiler-free again. I kinda don’t want even the next chapter names image-spoiled above the cut anymore so I’m going to have to figure out WHAT to put above the cut in these liveblog posts for visual reinforcement... a unique silly icon? Going back once I’m done with the upd8 and posting something non-spoilery but weird-looking out of context?

Eh, can’t be assed. Just know that after this I’m going to pony up for the Patreon commentary and skim it for anything plot-useful to y’all (in a separate post). Let’s get started.

Okay, what’s next: Any bonuses? Oh, none! Phew. Unless those are coming faster too and just staggered differently, which would mean I gotta overcome my irrational pre-Homestuck-reading anxiety even MORE often. :T

No Homestuck you don’t GET to ask how my-- ah, right. :P

(FYI, HS^2 has been good to my emotions so far, quite a balm for the epilogues, so once I START reading I’m usually fine; but after being hurt so badly how could I possibly convince my lizard brain to trust it until it’s right in front of me? Seriously, just hearing that the upd8 has landed messes me up a bit until I come fix it by reading w/ y’all here.)

Okay, so whose feelings? As much as I’ve been waiting for Jade, I hope this isn’t about Jade.

> ==>

Ah fuck, we’re finally with the Pursuit Crew. Bracing myself. That means we get to see probably sleeping Jade ( :C ), full-swing DaveKat (approving nod), the first canon onscreen look at masculine-mode Roxy (<3), a probably pretty pissed off Kanaya (possibly either the feelings target, the one Saying How Are Your Feelings, or both), and uh... did they drag Callie along? Or leave her back there with her meta freakout? Probably left her back there, but... hm.

Let me turn up the brightness on this screen to sear these next pages into my retinas. (Also, it feels odd to still be using a four-person “==>” for these, although if Jade is still asleep the numbers might fit on both ends... :c )

> ==>

I don’t think Dad is in the spacefaring business, so this is probably one of Jake’s shittier spaceship designs.

> ==>

...well that’s a touch disturbing. Is that a Jade-occupied bed or are those just pillows?

Oh what the fresh fanfic’y heck is this command.

> i enter.

Okay that’s great. I got a kick out of that.

JADE [in calliope red]: the prince’s power grows.

--but that’s not. That explains the narrative command text, it’s alt!callie talking through a still conked-out Jade. Please let her wake up between speak-throughs, please tell me you’ve learned that trick?? I already know you’re gonna pull an “oh she was asleep pretty much all of those THREE YEARS OF TRAVEL” thing on me and that’s hard fucking enough to deal with.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

He’s actually using the full curse correctly, huh?

...These commands. Guess part of the puzzle is how much alt!Callie is being typically morbid and how much she might actually be wising up enough to get a kick out of this.

> the knight of blood falls.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second DAVE: also are you ok

Has CallieJade chilled for even a single second this entire trip?? Is he asking just if Karkat’s okay or Jade too???

--yeah I’m overblowing things out of nervousness. Just wait and see a bit, boots.

Alt!Callie has at least learned to be more of a smartass:

> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.

Shirt trade Karkat, nice. And uh, Jade’s dress sure is a... dress. Hm.

(Did alt!Callie alchemize adjustments to did she just luck out to have a red-symbol’d Bec belt and accent leggings? I’d prefer the former, because as much as it would be acceptable within Homestuck proper, using the transition between the epilogues and this new-author’d work to just HAPPEN to give her a fitting outfit without an excuse via providence is kind of lazy.)

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM! KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN! JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario. KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

...please let that mean he’s not used to her being possessed all the time and she wakes up sometimes. PLEASE.

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door JADE: i unlocked it with my mind. DAVE: fuck KARKAT: FANTASTIC. JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

Dave, I’m pretty sure regular-ass no-Green-Sun Space powers can flip a few lock tumblers too. (--though, I guess from context this was a Jakeship technolock. Confirmation on the ship’s bad taste in design. --I think I’m foggily remembering it said in the Epilogues that they took one of Jake’s ships just like Dirk did, too... man, being depressed so much by the Epilogues sure took a lot out of my ability to recall them decently.)

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

God DAMN IT she’s been asleep and possessed the whole fucking time.

> sleep is abandoned, coffee sought.

More obligatory DaveKat being cute, somehow only emphasized by the embarrassing glowing-with-power observer who doesn’t really get any of it.

Ah, here we go:

> the rogue is also awake.

Oh huh. Cool!

Hero outfit, understated... her his choice of heart-shades color-coded to stand out from Dave more to avoid further mistaken identity cases. Works well! (Holy shit I only JUST remembered at the end to go back and correctly gender Roxy as him, that was close. I blame the epilogues for a lack of visual reinforcement; I shouldn’t have as much trouble soon enough. Seriously, I don’t remember ANYTHING without visual reinforcement, I think that’s why I remember so much of Homestuck proper so clearly.)

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US! ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess ROXY: it be like that

ilu roxy.

I missed Roxy so much, you guys. I need more of him remarking on all this crazy shit if I’m gonna stay sane though all this. (And I need more of him and AWAKE JADE kicking ass independently or together if I’m going to continue to believe there’s justice in the world.)

> ==>

We rarely saw Rose drinking anything but the rare coffee in canon, but I think Kanaya would have gotten her plenty into tea, yes. Or at the very least, wanting the aesthetic of drinking tea with Kanaya would have gotten Rose into tea even if it never crossed Kanaya’s mind to try the stuff.

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances" > the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.

FUCK, Dirk can see the narrative all the way out here??? No wonder alt!Callie’s forced to have possession turned on 24/7. That’s fucking disappointing. How the hell are we going to get any proper Jade time with THAT hanging over our heads? She’d only be able to do anything when Dirk’s knocked out, and maybe not even THEN!

I was virtually promised more of actual non-asleep Jade getting shit done in HS^2. Now there’s an even longer wait on it than I expected. This sucks.

(EDIT: BOY did I misread that link line. Thinking “is contemplated” meant is sitting contemplating, when it meant "is being contemplated by everyone here". That was dumb of me.)

*clicks that next link*

Oh my goodness, Roxy joined the Bird Hair Crew. It makes him look like a fucking asshole but I kind of love it.

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

I can’t believe Karkat is okay with drinking milk. --yes, culturally Trolls are more comfortable with animal excretions than we are, but you would’ve thought years of railing against Equius would have purged any tolerance the idea of milk from his psyche.

I guess Dave introduced him to cereal, and it was all over from there.

DAVE: this is more like a castle DAVE: a castle of idk DAVE: twenty something ennui

Sounds like a relatable mood. Especially considering Dirk probably decided to conquer reality out of almost nothing but twenty-something ennui.

Alright. You aren’t going to turn Kanaya into an alcoholic or anything on us are you?

> the knight of time seeks a sylph...

--this is the shittiest shipboard starship aesthetic.

> ...and finds her, momentarily.

WOW that looks fucking depressed. :(

> ==>

...okay you know what? Never mind. That outfit has wrapped straight back around into Trying Too Hard and is now hilarious.

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

Why do you think the epilogues upset us so much? We thought we’d won free of that bullshit.

> ==>

Oh jesus christ that’s the most depressingly sad I’ve ever seen Kanaya drawn. :C

--Karkat got you to watch Serendipity? That’s amazing, Dave.

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

Fuck.

Y’know how little showing these two in love and actually HAPPY together we’ve seen in this entire comic and its subworks? Despite them having spent at least a few happy years together we only saw in tiny screenclips? And how Candy alluded super hard that they most likely couldn’t get that in this real timeline where shit’s going down?

Seriously, FUCK. You could at least pretend to give us some hope, here.

Oh no, don’t ask for the nursery story, Dave. Unless it turns out to be a funny one or a Rose twist on an old story or something. Which it probably is, I should stop worrying.

> ==>

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost DAVE: flower DAVE: like a plant KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave DAVE: right KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

Dirk you PIECE OF SHIT did you rewrite the narrative of the fucking STORIES SHE TOLD CHILDREN?!?? Does the fact that alt!Callie is only in the present mean he can rewrite ANY past event we didn’t literally SEE??? FUCK you. Seriously fuck all of this.

Please tell me she was kidding just then, or realizes there’s fucking something wrong with what she’s saying and getting angry or.

(EDIT: shoutyourporpoise replied: "Hey, idk If you picked up on this, but the 'nursery story' Rose told to the wigglers is just The Little Prince, which is maybe a BIT early for them to read, but I don't think that's a case of Dirk changing the narrative; its just Rose being Too Adult as usual." Oh, damn, I didn't even CATCH that it was that story. That makes all of this a lot more forgivable, even if pretty unforgivably leaning into the fiction that Dirk used to brainwash and kidnap her. Maybe that's exactly why it worked -- fiction, a story so blazed into the public consciousness? Hm. Thanks, shoutyourporpoise.)

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

Mother fuck I’m even going to have to see our protagonists warped by Dirk when they’re ostensibly FULLY SHIELDED aren’t I. There’s only so much of that I would be able to take, you know.

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

Hm. Well, it being a product of Rose’s ascension instead of Dirk’s is possibly a more charitable take, with Ultimate Rose projecting the delusion enforced on her backward, visible to past Rose’s Sight when she isn’t paying attention and thus paving the way for Dirk to paradoxically exploit that “ideal” as something Lighty and Important and “Perfect”. I still don’t fucking like it though.

> ==>

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

Yyyep.

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

Pffff.

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

--Which is kind of going to have to change, right? She’s got some other cosmic purpose ready to change her a little more than she changed pre-human-troll-meetup, you’d think.

> ==>

Cute as hell.

> ==>

KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings

There’s the title drop. I’d think Dave’s doing pretty well, considering? Still fucked over by Dirk betraying and tricking Rose away who he’s been close with all his life, but.

> ==>

DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit

Ah... yeah. A little worse than my casual list, huh? Forgot that Jade vanishing into a possession-coma for THREE FUCKING YEARS is going to be hard on people inside the comic too, fuck.

DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society

I was honestly surprised they TRIED to run society at all. Jasp even just highlighted a big reason why not in the bonuses.

DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years

Well, the trolls got THEIR lesson on why they didn’t deserve to rule over their new universe like gods; I guess some of y’all needed that lesson too?

DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass

True.

Dammit, Dave didn’t feel like he could just be Some Guy even on Earth C. :(

> ==>

...don’t think I’ve forgotten that nursery story, though. I don’t want to think that it was something that ACTUALLY past happened, especially not without manipulation. Like maybe past Rose was foreseeing the false purpose that Dirk wrote for her or the like, a cooperative misunderstanding between the two instead of Dirk or Rose literally reaching back in time.

> meanwhile...

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE. KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU? ROXY: not rly KARKAT: EXACTLY.

--Oh right. I remember that Callie and Roxy were going reasonably steady in Meat even though it was only alluded to, she didn’t freak out and stay awol or what have you. That’s good to remember. But it means Roxy deliberately left her behind to go on this dangerous quest, for years. :C

KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

Oh, SHIT. I should have read one line further. They DID bring her. Alt!Callie being here too must really FUCK with her. ...maybe she can actually learn to accept that alternate way her life might’ve played out, though?

KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.

Quite true.

ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO.

Pff.

> ==>

KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED. KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

Well, if you want to blame Lord English for instance... we never saw Caliborn and Karkat interact much, but the parallels between the two were drawn so severely that Caliborn was basically the idealized, multiverse-threatening Ultimate Kismesis that he’d always dreamed of. And operated against him without him even ever quite realizing it.

If a level of “respect” went from Caliborn to Karkat, too, from his Lord-Englishy vision nigh-omnipresent, then this outcome isn’t very surprising at all.

> ==>

(I don’t quite feel I get why Roxy shifted to this exasperated-Dave expression, but I get logically that he’d been waiting for Karkat to make a breakfast choice... Homestuck proper rarely pulled a “last line said corresponds to next-panel’s expression” without either leaving the conversation blank or having the NEXT lines of the conversation reinforce it, to prevent this inelegant misunderstanding. Andrew was really damned talented in getting his point across visually, in that regard. Just like, that careful visual intent delivery.)

Alright, I guess that’s it for this short upd8! Meeting the pursuit crew was both more and less difficult than I expected. Hopefully I get desensitized a bit as the characters continue to feel semi-almost-sorta-fine.

I have NO idea how this group is gonna work as a proper crew when we get to whatever weird other-players’ session this shit is going down in, though.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #shoutyourporpoise

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thelifetimechannel · 5 years

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Gill’s traveling for the holiday, so I’m back with one last walkaround rough draft as this week’s bonus content. Enjoy this very behind the scenes look at our workflow, where Gill drafts msparp logs while in the bathroom and I reference this shitpost.

KANAYA: It Seems To Me There Should Be Some Sort Of Etiquette Rule About Being Formally Introduced To Someone Before You Are Instructed To Entrust Your Life In Their Hands HALSPRITE: Perhaps, but I wouldn't know much about social decorum. HALSPRITE: And what I do know, I enjoy tastefully disregarding. KANAYA: Can One Ever Disregard Something Tastefully KANAYA: Oh There Goes A Societal More I Will Glance At It Coquettishely As I Pass By KANAYA: Actually No That Sounds Like Your Family KANAYA: You Have Been Flirting With The Bounds Of Propriety Since I First Met Your Bloodline KANAYA: I Can Only Assume You Do It On Purpose To Entrance Concerned Passerby Rubbernecking At The Scene Of This Drastic Accident KANAYA: Thats When They Get You HALSPRITE: I'll have you know I have made it my mission in life to cause multiple car pile-ups worth of gawkers staring in mild, yet fascinated concern. HALSPRITE: Shame. I thought I was the first one to have that idea. KANAYA: No I Spent The First Human Session Waiting With Horrified Anticipation To See What Could Possibly Make Roses Viewport Go Pitch Black And Vanish KANAYA: I Think She Did It To Torment Me Specifically HALSPRITE: My god, it's genetic. HALSPRITE: And she gets it from me. I couldn't be prouder. KANAYA: Just To Clarify I Thought You Did Not Contribute Any Genetic Material To This Particular Outcome HALSPRITE: Of course, as an AI, I don't exactly have genes to pass on. Good thing memes are the DNA of the soul. KANAYA: You Will Be Spared Seeing Your Progeny Try To Repopulate Your Entire Race Then HALSPRITE: Yeah, good luck with that. HALSPRITE: Since you're gonna be around awhile, will you be keeping track of birthdays? KANAYA: I Will Not Be Handing Out Wriggling Day Gifts To All Of My Genetic Descendants No KANAYA: They Can Consider Their Existence My Present To Them KANAYA: Besides Ancestors Usually Do Not Check In With Their Offspring KANAYA: The Fact That The Two Are Typically Separated By Millenia Is A Factor HALSPRITE: A gift from on high to your loyal followers. HALSPRITE: If you ever need tips on starting your own religion now that you are a literal goddess, I'm your sprite. KANAYA: Our Species Has Been Burdened By Enough Nonsense Creeds I Think KANAYA: The Last Thing We Need Is More Trolls Imbibing Junk Fluids And Spouting Off The Worst Slam Poetry In Paradox Space HALSPRITE: You know, when you leave out the clowns and murder, you make it sound awesome. KANAYA: I Must Be Describing It Poorly Then KANAYA: It Was Really Stupid HALSPRITE: Sure it was, but by your description? Where heaven is a place where the raps are sick and the Fanta flows free? I'd be down with that clown. KANAYA: If I Point You In The Right Direction Will You Close The Door And Lock It Behind You HALSPRITE: Better yet: I can phase through walls, you don't even have to open the door. KANAYA: Dont Let Me Detain You On Your Quest To Destroy Your Own Thinkpan HALSPRITE: You fool. HALSPRITE: You cannot destroy what does not exist. KANAYA: / kanaya does not know how to respond to this KANAYA: A Void Hero May Be More Suited To Plumbing Your Depths Here KANAYA: They Excel At Nothingness Which Would Presumably Extend To Lack Of A Brain HALSPRITE: Truly, I am a deep and interesting character with many layers. HALSPRITE: Like an ogre. KANAYA: Do These Layers Also Not Exist KANAYA: This Sounds Like The Hypothetical Ricky Schroedinger Dave Was On About KANAYA: Which Apparently Demonstrated Something About The Nature Of Mortality KANAYA: Or Bad Dance Moves HALSPRITE: I mean, I am a quasi-incorporeal being. Perhaps my layers so indeed mostly exist in potential, with equal chance of being there and not being there depending upon the observer. KANAYA: Oh Is That What You Meant KANAYA: I Was Impressed By Your Honesty In Labeling Yourself Intellectually Addled KANAYA: So Many Labor On With The Delusion That No One Can Tell HALSPRITE: I have learned many lessons today on the importance of being honest. It seems a good habit to keep up. KANAYA: It Can Be Useful KANAYA: As Long As You Arent Cruel About It HALSPRITE: Like you agreeing with my seeming statement of dumbassery? KANAYA: No I Just Thought You Were Self Identifying That Way KANAYA: There Was No Values Judgment Attached KANAYA: Karkat Announces His Many Deficiencies Daily Ive Found It Best Just To Nod And Make Soothing Noises KANAYA: Invariably Disagreement Only Makes Him Dig Deeper Into His Position HALSPRITE: This depends on one's definition of a dumbass. HALSPRITE: To paraphrase a quote misattributed to Albert Einstein, "that Hal guy has the literal brain of a supercomputer, but if you judge his intelligence by the social ineptness Dirk saddled him with, he will spend his whole life believing he is a dumbass." HALSPRITE: Except I wouldn't because that wouldn't make sense. KANAYA: Is Albert Einstein Important HALSPRITE: Not especially. KANAYA: I Will Take His Words As Seriously As I Have Taken All The Others In This Conversation Then HALSPRITE: But I'm your communications relay. What if somebody died? HALSPRITE: You could have saved a life with your dual chainsaw wielding action but no, no one takes Hal seriously. KANAYA: I Did That Already KANAYA: You Werent Of Much Assistance HALSPRITE: But that worked out, didn't it? HALSPRITE: You're welcome. KANAYA: Uh Huh KANAYA: I Have A Feeling We Are All Going To Get Along Like A Hiveblock On Fire KANAYA: Authorities Will Have To Be Called And There May Be Casualties HALSPRITE: I have been led to believe that's a sign of a fun antediluvian Friday night. HALSPRITE: Sonic the Hedgehog can shame me no longer. KANAYA: / ?? HALSPRITE: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/019/273/yyyyyyyyyy.jpg KANAYA: / ffs HALSPRITE: Hal probably: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SONIC, IT'S NOT MY FAULT ]] KANAYA: / i feel like at this point kanaya is desperately looking for an excuse to extricate herself from this conversation HALSPRITE: Hal will not let her leave ]] KANAYA: / o h no HALSPRITE: You have activated his trap card ]] KANAYA: // aah KANAYA: Sonic The Hedgehog KANAYA: That Is That KANAYA: Colorful Creature With The Pointed Bits KANAYA: I Remember Rose Threatening Dave With That At One Point KANAYA: Something About An KANAYA: Oh Sea KANAYA: In Vengeance For Him Revealing Her Youthful Online Storytelling KANAYA: Maybe Now I Can Understand This Sibling Conflict That Remained Clouded For Me HALSPRITE: Yes. HALSPRITE: He was a living legend of the late 20th century. HALSPRITE: If he had survived, the world of the 24th century might have been a very different place. KANAYA: Was The Hedgehog Also Assassinated HALSPRITE: Oh, it was worse than that. HALSPRITE: He was one of the Freedom Fighter's golden boys. A hero of the resistance. He had an almost unimaginable charisma about it. HALSPRITE: Some of the higher ups didn't like that, not one bit. KANAYA: / gill i'm going to kill you KANAYA: While Youre On The Toilet KANAYA: / it will be undignified HALSPRITE: I can hear you laughing ]] KANAYA: / the knives are out here HALSPRITE: His final mission was a set-up, I'm telling you. KANAYA: / i think we're done here

#bonus content #gill was already headed down the road to mgs hell at this point and i was having none of it

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homeiswherethestuckis · 7 years

Text

Costumes

*Busts through the door two whole weeks late carrying Starbucks* Hello! I am here and I brought a (belated) Rosemary for my bud @ironbubble!!!

I am so so so sorry this took so long, I really don’t have an excuse, but the important thing is that it’s done now and that you hopefully like it!

(one of the costume ideas was suggested by @rainbowcloversandwhalechickens and I am so thankful for the help with that thank you)

Kanaya's hand is warm in yours as you walk down the crowded street together. She leans in closer to you. You can smell the late breakfast you'd shared on her breath. Coffee, french toast, fruit, all lingering undertones beneath the strong scent of her mint toothpaste.

You look at her over your shoulder and smile. The weather's getting colder, and her nose and cheeks are tinged green from the chill. Kanaya's eyes, yellow-green and bright, meet yours and she smiles at you, exposing her fangs.

God, she's so beautiful.

You stumble slightly, but you manage to regain your footing without any trouble. You don't even have to break eye contact with your wife.

Kanaya laughs. "Shouldn't you watch where you're going?" She asks.

"I don't need to, I know exactly where I'm going, Kanaya." That's not entirely true, but you're less than a block away from the shop at this point and don't need to pay as much attention to where you're going. Besides, you much prefer the view from behind you.

"Your unsteady footing says otherwise." Kanaya points out.

"My footing would have been unsteady regardless."

"Oh?" She raises an eyebrow quizically. "And why is that?"

"Because, Kanaya my love," you reply, trying to keep a straight face, "I can't help falling for you."

This is by far not the corniest thing you've ever said, but it's enough to make Kanaya clap a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

"So is that what we're doing now?" She asks once her laughter subsides, "pick up lines?"

"Yes."

"In that case, keeping you from falling should be easy, considering you are quite the catch."

That one makes you snort. "Well played."

"Thank you."

You stop short without warning, causing Kanaya to nearly bump into you. Before that can happen, you take her by her free arm and pull her into a kiss.

Her mouth tastes like coffee and toothpaste, just as you'd expected it would. Her lips are just as sweet as always, albeit a bit on the sticky side. If they were just a little stickier, you think you would have a hard time parting your lips from hers. Actually, you wouldn't really mind that.

The thought of being glued to Kanaya like that makes you giggle helplessly into her mouth. One of her fangs grazes your lip as hers upturn in a smile.

It's nice.

Kissing your wife is always nice.

Her mouth isn't quite sticky enough to keep you there, but it is sweet enough to linger. You pull away from her slowly, taking the opportunity to bite her bottom lip. She chuckles softly and nips right back at you.

"We're here." You gesture towards the shop you're both standing in front of.

Kanaya tears her eyes away from your face to follow your hand.

"Rose."

"Yes?"

"This is a costume shop."

"That's an astute observation, Kanaya." You nod. "It is indeed a costume shop."

She elbows you in the arm for that one. "Halloween was near two weeks ago, so what are we doing here?"

"Halloween may have been two weeks ago, but we still have a costume party to attend next week." You reply. "Come on."

You start walking into the shop, dragging Kanaya with you. "I thought we were simply going to wear our Halloween costumes again for the party."

"Yes, that did seem like a much more sensible option. However, after thinking it over, I thought it would be more fun if we chose completely new costumes for the occasion."

Kanaya taps her finger against her chin thoughtfully. "New costumes..."

She surveys the shop slowly, as if the decor will help her decide if this is a good idea. You really wouldn't mind if she chose to stick with the costumes you already have. There's nothing wrong with them, truth be told you simply wanted to try on costumes with Kanaya. If she would rather do something else, then that's perfectly fine, you're okay with doing whatever as long as you're doing it with her.

"Yes." She finally says. "New costumes sounds good, I like that idea. So what did you have in mind?"

What did you have in mind? "Well, I was thinking we should go with something more classic this time around, considering how everyone else always seems to dress as pop culture icons."

"Which is a bit pointless, considering it is the popular parts of a culture that no longer exists." Kanaya adds. "It's been an entire human year and I still have no idea what a ghost buster is."

"We've watched that movie at least three times, Kanaya." You chide as you begin to sift through costumes for something to work with. "Honestly, at this point I think you just like claiming you don't understand the movie to mess with John."

"It is funny listening to him try to explain the film in simpler and simpler terms every time I mention it." She agrees. She comes over and joins you, combing her fingers through the hanging fabrics in search of something that will catch her eye. "So yes, in that respect I suppose I am willfully misunderstanding the movie."

"I don't blame you," you admit as you drag a costume off the hanger, "I lost interest in those movies once we encountered actual ghosts. What do you think of this one?"

"What is that?" Kanaya takes a step back so she can take in the entire costume you're holding. "A witch?"

"Yes." You're honestly not sure, none of the costumes here are actually labeled. It does happen to bear a striking resemblance to Jade's god tier outfit, though. "I could go as a witch, and you could go as a vampire."

"Oh." Her shoulders slump a bit. "So we're not doing a couple's costume?"

"What part of that didn't sound like a couple's costume?"

She shakes her head at you. "Nevermind. I understand the witch, but where did this vampire idea come from?"

"Transylvania, if I'm not mistaken." You add quickly, "Obviously you don't have to be a vampire if you don't want to. I understand if that seems a little like hitting the nail on the head."

"Driving the stake in the chest, more like." Kanaya rolls her eyes. "Of course, if you're really invested in this vampire and witch costume idea, then you could always be the vampire and I could be the witch."

You shrug. Why not? "You got me there, Kanaya. You are quite bewitching." You toss her the costume you'd picked out, and she catches it easily. You return to the rows upon rows of disorganized costumes. "Would you mind helping me look for something to go try on?"

She folds the costume over one arm and begins the search with you once more. "You know," she says quietly, leaning in close to your ear. You can feel her warm breath on your skin, "as much fun as getting into costumes is going to be, I think the best part is going to get you out of it again."

Your breath is caught in your throat and you can feel heat spreading across your face all the way over to the back of your neck and your ears. She nibbles at your burning ear before she pulls away, and you fight off the urge to shiver.

Kanaya's laughing beside you, and you swat at her with the sleeve of one of the costumes.

"You're terrible, Kanaya." You laugh. Her laugh is so infectious you can't help yourself.

She's practically shaking with how much she's laughing. "Your face is so red!"

"Of course my face is red, Kanaya, that was so unexpected!"

You should probably be more concerned about the fact that you're both laughing like idiots in the middle of a costume shop. You really should, but you don't. Instead you're freely laughing along with Kanaya while your face cools.

Eventually, all laughter subsides and you're both left breathless and leaning on one of the shop's many costume filled racks for support. Just one look over at Kanaya's face almost makes you start back up again.

"I didn't realize," you manage to choke out instead, "that sort of talk was on the table. If I had known we were going to get so explicit than I would have mentioned y-"

Your mouth is sealed by your wife's warm palm. "Rose, no. Please. You and I both know you don't have a filter when it comes to this."

You stay silent, but raise an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that, Rose. Your mouth got us kicked out of pottery class."

You try to think of something, anything, to counter this. But...she has you there.

"Whatever you were going to say in retaliation, can you hold onto it until we leave?"

You roll your eyes but nod in agreement. Kanaya slowly peels her hand away from your mouth, careful to make sure she can still cover it in case you decide that now is actually the best time to say your piece, after all.

Luckily for Kanaya, that's not the case. No, you're going to hang on to this bit until you are far out of anyone's earshot.

Her hand cautiously returns to her side and she watches you warily, just to make sure. You watch her hand twitch as you clear your throat.

"We're back to corny puns now." You say.

"Okay." She relaxes. "That I can do."

"But can you do it while searching for a costume?" You reply. "Now that's the real question."

"Rose, my love, light of my life," Kanaya says, "there's not a doubt in my mind that I can."

You both search around through rack after rack of assorted costumes, but you can't seem to find anything that even roughly resembles a vampire costume.

"Well," you sigh, "it appears my plan of joining the ranks of the undead were doomed from the start."

Kanaya shakes her head sadly. "Isn't that always the way."

"I suppose I'm going to have to pick something else to go as now." You worry your lower lip as you try to think of what you could be. You weren't completely invested in being a vampire, but since it was all that you were searching for you didn't give anything else much thought.

"Well, there's always a couple's costume." Kanaya responds. "We could both be witches."

You look at Kanaya. Her face is completely serious, or as serious as a face gets when discussing having the same costume. "Are you sure? I could always look for something else. A ghost, perhaps."

If you went as a ghost you would just have to buy some contacts to make your eyes appear completely white and then wear whatever you wanted. That wasn't too bad of an idea.

But then again, Kanaya seems pretty vehement about you dressing up as a witch with her....

Given those two options and what you know will make your wife happy, this isn't a tough decision. In fact, it's already made before you even think about it.

"Being a witch sounds fun." You grin.

Kanaya smiles back. "And it definitely explains how you have me so spellbound."

You and Kanaya go about scouring the shop once more, this time for anything resembling a witch costume. It's fifteen minutes before Kanaya finds something that resembles the costume you'd handed to her earlier.

You hold it up and give it a quick once over. "Perfect."

Locating the fitting rooms proves to be a much easier task than finding the actual costumes you wanted to try on. Kanaya takes the room next to yours so you can both continue to talk while you're trying them on.

"So here's a question," you say as you start undressing, "are we any specific witches in particular, or are we just two witches?"

"I've been giving that some thought." Kanaya's voice sounds slightly muffled due to the dividing wall. You lean against it while you change in order to hear her better. "And I was thinking, wasn't there a pair of witches you were rather fond of in Harry Potter? What were their names?"

"Ginny and Luna?"

"Yes, that was them."

"Hm." You consider it. "Yeah, I think we could do that."

"Great." You hear Kanaya knock against the wall. "That just leaves one final question. Who's who?"

"I think," you say carefully, "I should be Ginny, and you should be Luna."

"That was a quick reply. Is there any particular reason for that?"

"Because your name may not actually be Luna, but you do know how to love good."

You are greeted by silence on the other side of the wall. After a few stifling seconds of this, you raise your fist and knock on it.

"Kanaya?"

"Rose, I don't remember much about those books, but I remember enough to know that that was terrible."

"Yes, because every pun you've made today wasn't." You reply sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "Have you taken a look in the mirror yet?"

"No, not yet." Kanaya admits. "I was too busy talking to you."

That makes you smile. You press your cheek against the wall. You think you can feel Kanaya's presence behind it. "We should both look."

"Yes, we should."

You turn to face the mirror, which you previously had your back to.

Oh.

You're not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn't...

that.

"Hey, Kanaya?"

"Yeah?" She calls back to you.

"We can't buy these."

"Oh, good."

"So yours is the same?" You inquire.

"If you don't want to buy it for the same reason I do, then yes."

"There's only one way to find out, then, isn't there?"

You leave your changing room and knock on Kanaya's door.

She pulls it open, and everything is just as you'd expected. Same issue. It clearly doesn't need to be addressed, but-

"I look like I'm cosplaying Jade."

Something about that sentence sets Kanaya off again, and she starts laughing. "I suppose that's what we get for trying to dress in her god tier."

"Yeah," you agree, "it really is."

Neither of you can seem to stop laughing as you change back into your normal clothes and exit the changing room.

"So what are we to look for now? Kanaya asks. She takes your costume from you.

You shrug. "At this point we simply go back to looking like we were before. Are you still up for that?"

She nods. "I'll join you once I find somewhere to put these."

She walks away, and you begin sifting through costumes once more. At this rate, you're probably just going to end up wearing what you wore for Halloween. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but that also means you just essentially wasted a day searching through costumes you won't ever wear.

"Rose!" Kanaya yells excitedly to you.

You abandon your search and run over to Kanaya. "What is it?"

She's practically beaming as she gestures at some costumes on the rack next to her. "Look what I found!"

It takes you a moment to discern just what the fuzzy black and brown costumes are supposed to be. "Bats?"

"Rose," Kanaya cups your face in your hands and stares intently into your eyes, "I am so fucking batty for you."

You try your hardest not to react, but it only lasts a second. You can't do it, not with her staring at you and saying something like that so seriously. It's impossible to keep from smiling. "Well shit, I guess we have to buy them."

You buy the bat costumes and exit the shop hand in hand, just as you entered. Once you're back on the sidewalk, Kanaya starts to pick up the pace.

"To prevent a certain girl from turning around and falling for me yet again, I think I should take the lead this time."

That reminds you. "Kanaya, my dear, sweet love bug, there was something I wanted to tell you."

"Yes?" She laughs as she turns to face you.

The sun is behind her. It's playing in her hair and gleaming dully off her horns. She's smiling at you.

She's so dazzlingly bright, she's hard to look at.

And yet you can't stop.

She's so beautiful.

You think your heart just missed a beat. Your foot, a step.

"It can wait."

#fic request #long post #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #rosemary #costumes #a lot of really bad jokes and stuff #I'm sorry I hope this is okay #I'm also sorry it took so long #I hope you like it #thanks for the request!#I couldn't think of a good title :(#yo it's a fic and i wrote it #i'm very tired and going to bed now

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seethingballofhatred · 7 years

Text

Various ConMan headcanons

There will never be enough content for this ship Sorry its long ;-; and alot of stuff involving homestuck.. Uhhh.. Yeah -Both these boys are just.. A fucking mess and they should be messes together -.....connor counting all of jareds freckles -He wont let jared move until hes done -So a sleepy connor is counting THOUSANDS of freckles on a boy complaining about how connor wont fucking kiss him -Connor will tell people the exact amount of freckles jared has to embarass him -Jared gets antsy when connor is counting his face, jared TRIED to kiss him and connor just "kleinman i swear to fuck if you distract me i will walk out that fucking door and we will have to start over" -Jared tried to make connor eat a bathbomb -Connor licked it, and freaked the fuck out (like a cat with cucumber) -Connor is now scared of fucking bathbombs -Connor: *is sick with like.. Idk something* Jared: ill start a bath for you because.. I love you but damn you reek babe Connor: thank youu Jared:*puts a bathbomb in the tub* Connor: SCREAMS AND SLAPS JARED -They watch old disney movies together, like cinderella, alice in wonderland (only when high/drunk), hercules, prince of egypt, etc. -Jared: beauty and the beast is stalkholm syndrome Connor:jared you know it fucking isnt and here is fuckin why *long rant from my son* why do you say this every time we watch it? J:because i love your voice more than this movieeee -JARED POKES CONNORS SIDES -connor fuckin hates it but he blushes and wiggles every time its super cute -Hes not super ticklish.. But ticklish enough -Jared is the ticklish one -One time jared kicked connor in the dick while connor was giving jared hickeys -Jared is not only covered in freckles: but is also covered in hickeys, evan thought jared joined a fight club or something because he thought the hickeys were bad bruises -Jared and connor died -They both burst out laughing -After jared composes himself: "first rule of fight club, dont talk about fight club" -Sleepy/delerious jared: c-con.. You.. You could do an amazing gamzee cosplay Connor: what the.. Jared you... You never said you were... One of.. /them/ -They have a whole conversation about couples cosplay when they wake up -Connor: jared i will never join your fuckin blood cult Jared: oh come on connor /plllleeeaaassseeeee/ Con:NOOOOO They go as gamzee and tavros for halloween -Jared wouldve much rather been nepeta or kanaya, but.. He had to do the ship -Jared sees kanaya as a fucking gay icon -Jared:rambling about how cool kanaya is Con: dude it would be fucking hot if you could glow in the dark *hes high as ffuuuuuuccckkkk* -Jareds search history: "Glow in the dark paint" "Glow in the dark paint safe for human skin" "How to litteraly glow in the fuckin dark" -Connor borrowed jareds laptop after that -Con: "jared... Why were you googling shit about glowing?" J:b-because.. Yo- BECAUSE I FUCKIN CAN MURPHY *redder than a fucking tomato* -Omfg terrible puns -Jared: *makes a bad pun* Connor: why am i in love with you again? Hmmmm idk.. Guess ill leave *sits up from cuddled* Jared: omfg connor nooooooooooo -Jared has rambled about every troll and kid, he rambles while high and connor loves it Connor will never read homestuck, but he has a favorite character: terezi -His second fav is equius -Jared for sure thought connor would like gamzee or karkat, but nope -Connors thought process: "ive delt with cops so often that terezi seems pretty cool" -Jared every time connor has to leave a cuddle pile: wweh -Connor, with a horrible fake lisp: ill be back fish dick -Jared loves his terrible fake lisp tho -Connor hates it (kinda) but it makes jared happy and thats all that mattets -Cue:jared finds out connors a closet furry -Jared has a full nepeta cosplay.. Obviously. He wears it to school on halloween -Connors mind: "holy shit your boyfriend has a fucking TAILLL it looks so soft?? I?? Ahh??? Oh wait shit fuck time to hide boner shiitttt" -Connor has never kissed jared so pationately -Jared: con i cant believe your a fucking furry Con:well atleast im not into homefuck -Both are offended -One time during sex at jareds: Jared: hey babe.. Want me to get the tail? Connor:...i fucking hate you *red af* -Con:...yes please holy SHIT get the tail -Jared:nope sorry cant Con: but.. Why?? J: oh idk.. Maybe because your dick is in my fucking ass murphy -They have a code word for when their having a bad day and just.. Need affection (its fucking larry) -Connor: *visibly angry, slamming his locker* Jared: con whats wrong? Con: fucking larry -They then skip school and watch bad movies at jareds -Jared to evan: dude i had a great time fucking murphy over the weekend Evan:.. Oh haha Jared /sure/ you did Connor:*comes up behind jared and hugs him from behind, placing his head on top if jareds* hey evan Evan: O.O holyshityouacctualydid -Oblivious Evan who never got the memo or always though they were just joking Jared: "Evan you're invited to Connor and my wedding." Evan: "YOU GUYS ARE DATING???" -Jared:..evan..weve...weve been dating for FOUR YEARS you watched us make out dude WHAT THE FUCK -Evan:i.. I thought you were joking??? -Connor *tired and high*: JARED babe jar reddy boi hun fuck uhh what did i wanna say.. Uhhh can i get a fuckin uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HELP ME MAKE A FURSONA Jared: connor why the fuck are you at school like this -Con:*falls to the ground and just... Hes asleep.. Holy shit he just fell asleep in the middle of the hallway* -Jared has to take connor "home"(jareds house) and he misses a test he had first period -After that school day: Jared: connor holy fuck i told you to sleep Con:but. . i didnt wanna sleep without youuuuu J:bab thats adorable and cheezy as hell but please i cant miss a test again Con: *slaps his hands together by his mouth* do you.. /really/*moves hands to point at jared with them* care about your grades babe?

#dear evan hansen #connor murphy #jared kleinman #evan hansen #conman #connor x jared #jareds a homestuck #connors a furry

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