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#i believe in solar supremacy etc etc
kiki--vivi · 8 months
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can she stop attacking me for like. a day. please
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Sorry to ask, but if you could answer ASAP I’d really appreciate it. I was raised Christian but my family doesn’t heavily practice it, and I consider myself sort of agnostic? I honestly don’t know where I fall, but I lean between that and believing in God sometimes. This is sort of a two part question and kind of messy, sorry. I feel like my belief in God is mostly out of fear rather than faith, like if I stop believing in Them I’m damned or something, especially as a queer person. (1/2)
cw sex mention
(2/2) My other concern is my high sex drive. I know it sounds silly to be mostly agnostic but worried about God judging me for having urges, but it feels like a profound fear just pounded into me, despite not having been raised by homophobic parents/church/etc at all. Sorry for the TMI, but I’ve never even had sex, just masturbate often and write/draw erotica because it helps me cope with my real life sex repulsion. IDK, can I get some assurance on this that God has no issue with it? Thank you.
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So. Okay. This probably isn't what you need at all but. when i first joined tumblr, ach. however many years ago......i remember seeing this one post and feeling all offended / scared about it -- but now? it kind of checks out:
Here's the post. It shows the solar system growing into the wider galaxy and universe aka how HUGE the cosmos is -- and it ends with a big blown-up image of White Jesus™ standing over that HUGE cosmos and all he's saying is "don't masturbate"
and i think back then i was offended because i was like "hey...Jesus does care deeply about the small things as well as the huge things."
But nowadays i'm like "yeah that post checks out" because when it comes to things that are ultimately harmless, like masturbation?? which when done right hurts no one?? and indeed can be helpful for an individual exploring their own sexuality and boundaries and the like (or, as you say for yourself, helps with coping with sex repulsion / exploring sexuality in a way that feels good instead of bad)??
why on earth would God be so obsessed with that over all the genuinely harmful things happening in Their universe?
It's very telling that the kinds of Christians who focus on things that don't bear bad fruit (and indeed, often bear good fruit) like sexuality are also the kinds of Christians who enable the status quo that oppresses so many people!! Like come on y'all, let's deal with white supremacy and ableism maybe? instead of harassing people for scrambling for what agency they can grasp in these oppressive systems and for enjoying their own physicality -- physicality that was gifted to them by God and called good??
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Whew uh. Sorry i started with the sex thing first. this is why i take forever to respond to most asks lmao -- they end up Like This. i'm so sorry.
i just want you to know that the fear you're experiencing about your high sex drive is super normal -- which sucks, but yeah. you are not alone. even without having had purity culture drilled into you in any specific way, it pervades our whole society -- you, and i, and everyone have been steeping in it whether we've realized it or not, and that's really hard to shake off. And if you wander through that purity culture tag i just linked, you'll find posts talking about how God does not will the horrible fear and shame this world forces on us when it comes to healthy expressions of sexuality.
anyway, to respond to the first half of your ask:
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People make jokes about agnosticism but honestly? i'm a big fan of it. Being open to possibilities even while not resonating with and/or being actively involved in the possibilities you're currently aware of makes sense to me.
I'm also a big advocate of going where you are most nourished. If Christianity isn't that for you, then that probably means it's time to venture outward. Doesn't mean you'll never come back, but if you find your spiritual nourishment and life fulfillment in a different religion, philosophy, or in a non-religious way of life, that's cool!
(I have a leaving Christianity tag with my responses to others who, like you, are considering leaving / have already left Christianity)
God does not will any of us to live choked by fear. If fear is the only reason you're still here -- move beyond that fear into flourishing. And know it's okay if that takes time.
Even as you journey elsewhere, it's probable you'll still have some lingering worries. I have a #fear of hell tag that might help you as you work through that fear.
Let me know if I forgot to address part of your ask, or if you have more questions! And best of luck to you on this journey towards what truly fuels you to thrive and bring thriving to others.
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rudolf-rokkr · 7 years
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On “reclaiming” the swastika, schwartze Sonne, etc
Let me get it out of the way that of course I know the swastika is not an exclusively Germanic symbol, I know it has a long history in many parts of the world. That’s just not what I’m talking about now. Heathens who bring this up in defense of using the swastika in their own Germanic context are committing cultural appropriation -- laying claim not to another culture’s symbol but its cultural context which is unrelated to the person making the claim. Sorry, doesn’t work that way. I’m talking about ásatrúar or other heathen people who whine about how they should be able to walk around with swastika ink or on t-shirts or banners or ritual equipment and be protected from criticism, especially if it’s because “it’s their religion.”
And like... this is so obvious I don’t even know how to articulate it but... they’re still being used to terrorize and oppress people. They have a current, productive, socially-conditioned meaning that you cannot isolate them from. But even that isn’t what I’m gonna talk about right now.
My honest opinion is that heathens wouldn’t give these symbols a second thought if the Nazis hadn’t gotten their hands on them first. They’d be aware of swastikas because they were pretty ubiquitous, in a way that had nothing to do with paganism, before the Nazis claimed them but nobody would think of them having any specific importance to pre-Christian paganism; I doubt they’d even know about schwarze Sonne. I’m not at all trying to say that everyone who wants to “reclaim” them is a Nazi themselves but it does mean they’re buying half of the Third Reich narrative about them. They were nothing to these people until the Nazis said they were. If the Nazis had used, I dunno, a triquetra instead, they’d be whining about that instead and would be saying “what, the hook-cross? That’s a heathen symbol? The thing on all those buildings in Philadelphia? Sorry man but that sounds like New Age bullshit to me.”
You know how I know? A few ways.
For one thing people do things like take Vegvísir and surround it with elder futhark runes -- demonstrating that they consider the entire past to be a grab bag of fashionable symbols to do whatever they want with (reminder that Vegvísir is situated in time closer to us right now than to elder futhark). This doesn’t qualify as cultural appropriation because the peoples who created and could interpret these symbols according to their own living semiotic systems are long dead but it does really drive home the fact that the people who created and could interpret them are long dead. Do you see what I’m getting at? We don’t know what the swastika meant to people living in Germanic-speaking places in the Migration Age or after. Some people insist it was a solar symbol or otherwise that it was a symbol of the thunder god (which tbh is appropriation from victims of the Nazis, the Baltic people) but not only don’t you actually know that, even if it’s true we have an abundance of other symbols to signify the same things and furthermore that we know signify the same things. If you want to “honor the ancestors” don’t start by robbing their graves. This isn’t our culture. Some of us are trying to reincorporate these things into a living network of symbols and meaning but these fucking Norse hipsters won’t let us because I guess it’s elitist to know what language was used with what writing system. Not to mention that it most likely meant different things to different groups anyway (sure looks solar to me on Alemanni artwork though the thunder god interpretations are pretty appealing too). Oh yeah, not to mention that this “it’s all the same/part of the same/ours” is a feature of the Nazi view of the Germanic past, as well as touches on points 1 and 2 of Umberto Eco’s ur-fascism. The ubiquity of this misinformation is a product of the folkish stranglehold on heathenry and it needs to be dismantled.
Second, nobody seems to care at all about any symbols that weren’t used by the Nazis, with the exception of those the proliferation of which is tied directly to the study of pagan religion (Mjölnir, valknut)... Like how many of these “reclaim the swastika” types even know the Bowen knot ⌘ appears in Germanic art (“what, the Apple command key? That’s a heathen symbol? The thing on all those signs for national parks? Sorry man but that sounds like New Age bullshit to me.”)? That’s what I meant earlier when I said people would be aware of the swastika existing, but that it would have no general perceived connection to Germanic paganism -- it would just be another one of these. Ikonographischer Katalog is free online, people. If you know the words “bildsten” and “hällristningar” you’ve got all the symbols you can eat. By the way, those symbols like Mjölnir and valknut that have gotten picked back up -- it’s because the previous paragraph doesn’t apply. We have a kind of decent understanding of them in archaeology, and if nothing else they’ve acquired meaning as a product of their modern reception. They actually have the communicative power of symbols recognized by a community.
The most damning reason of all is that people fight over the winged “odal” rune used by volunteer SS which is not from the actual fucking runic record. The black sun that most of us would recognize is also not from the archaeological record -- there are a few pieces of jewelry that the twelve-pronged symbol we know and hate (which was designed for the floor of the Wewelsburg castle) but they are clearly different, with an odd number of spokes and no connecting band. So while I wouldn’t defend anyone for wearing an authentic Migration Age black sun anyway, why the fuck is it only the one that’s only a Nazi symbol and nothing else that anyone is ever crying about?
So yeah, I’m well aware of the context in which these (or related) symbols do actually appear in the archaeological record, and I do think it fucking sucks that the Nazis grabbed them up and turned them into symbols of white supremacy and hatred -- but heathens “reclaiming” by and large don’t have a claim, and there’s no significant different between them and plenty of other symbols on record other than that the Nazis used them. I genuinely believe they only get upset over them not because they represent any particular reality of pre-Christian European religion, but because they were handed them on a silver platter.
Tell you what, you want to reclaim them, I’ll even get your back -- but not until after every last Nazi has been in the ground for five generations.
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dallysreviews · 7 years
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Destiny 1.5? Or is it really a genuine 2? (9-22-17)
So, it’s been a little over 2 weeks since this game came out, and scores have started to pour out this week, and I finally want to give what I think about the experience, but first, some back story. First and foremost, I love Destiny. Seriously. Like...I spent 2,000 hours on the original and it’s expansions. So am I a little biased? Sure. However, when the base game for Destiny came out back in September of 2014, I liked it, but I hated it. I hated it so much that after the sixth Legendary Engram that turned to an Uncommon, I threw my controller and stopped playing altogether til the figured their shit out. No joke. I didn’t start playing again til LATE December/early January, after they fixed the broken Cryptarch and more content had come out. With each update, and with each Expansion, the game got much better. If I had to rate the first game out of 10, I’d give it a 6/10. The repetitive strikes, empty worlds, and loot being near impossible to obtain, I totally felt that was being generous. The music is iconic, and the art design was fantastic, but so much was just...lacking other than the gunplay, just like so many others had said back than.  Over the course of the Expansions that came out, it gradually increased in rating for me. This isn’t about “Should you support a game that cuts up it’s games and resells it to you” because honestly, that’s a convo we can have later. After more stories, better direction, and TONS of loot, I’d say the final product is worth an 8/10.  So now moving forward to earlier this month, Destiny 2 comes out and the question comes up, do I like it? Well, no. I truly love it actually.  Now once again, I’m slightly biased, sure, but hear me out. A lot of people have asked me, as well as MANY others, why they couldn’t just do this as a “massive update”? Now for me, I’d say with AS much as they changed, I don’t think it would take just ONE update, but the bigger issue is would people have noticed it? Seriously? Having a brand new game, gives the team a new foundation to start on entirely. The first game and it’s infinite problems really stemmed from 2 things. The lack of direction when they blew the project up a year out from launch, and the fact that they had the previous generation consoles tied to it as well. It’s EVIDENT playing this game, that the first was very hamstrung by the previous consoles. Hell, even Rise of Iron showcased this a bit, but my God it was eye opening. So what didn’t I like? That is a MUCH easier list, and something that I feel does need to be explored, because many have brought some REALLY good points out on it. First off, Microtransactions. They suck, we can all agree with this. But Jim Fucking Sterling Son brought up a good point in his review earlier this week. They almost feel predatory. Something I wasn’t able to sum up, but once I heard it, I was in total agreement on. I too have a very addictive nature. Both my parents are alcoholics, and thankfully I haven’t had that issue at all. But I’ve noticed I tend to love to gamble myself, something I’ve tried to stay away from, but as Jim pointed out, when you take your Bright Engrams, to someone that SELLS them for REAL money, it’s almost sleazy. So I guess if it was an honest mistake, than I feel Bungie will rectify it. If they don’t...well shame on you guys. I know you guys can do better. The fact that Shaders can only be used once doesn’t bother me, as much as you than selling them does. Being able to put them on ANYTHING, guns, ships, sparrows, individual pieces of armor, is fucking brilliant, but than to sell them as once use items? Yikes. However, you can earn them, and I have hundreds at this point, no joke. So yes, you can earn a ton of them, but when there are “particular” ones that are hard to obtain, and you sell them, it’s just exploiting people’s natures, as well as their fucking patience and it should be called out. Next thing I don’t care for? Lack of space battles dammit. I know, we were never promised them at all, so really I blame Angry Joe for this one (I’m kidding, don’t attack me please), but something, something brand new in the series would have elevated this game to higher heights IMO. The new things added, and the things seriously improved on, are all welcome additions, but nothing seriously innovative that I feel would have actually brought a few more people over to D2.  The last part, was really the first couple of missions. I don’t believe this is TOO spoilerish, but after you lose your powers, you get them back...like 2-3 missions after you lose them, and I wish you didn’t. I wish we would have played a couple of more missions without our powers, really felt the struggle and focused on the JUST the gunplay like the Halo days. It’s a little thing, but it would have gone a long way in my honest opinion.  So that’s REALLY it for the serious negative. It would have been nice to get an extra strike, or maybe a whole other Raid, but D2 fixed a huge issue in the base Destiny game from 3 years ago. The amount of activities you can do is breathtaking. Lost Sectors, Adventures, Quest Lines, Missions, Public Events that you can turn to Heroic versions with more loot and harder enemies, and Flashpoints all can give you the sweet, sweet loot to level up your character. With the number of different activities you can do, I didn’t feel like I was getting bored or the grind became “too much”. I mean, I was so busy doing the above mentioned, that I have rarely even went into strikes, except to complete the quest line to unlock Nightfall’s, which this game brings back! Plus Cayde’s Stashes, the Raid, Trials of the Nine! There is something you can focus on for each day of the week and avoid every feeling the repeat of it all for a LONG time, or at least that’s how I feel. Once again, I’m 292 with one character at the time of this writing, and 280 with another, and not once did I feel the tired, repeating feeling I EVER felt with D1. That deserves praise from me. Someone like me who put 2,000 hours into the first one, should be one of the first to FEEL this. Plus they have other new activities on the near horizon like Faction Rally’s and the Iron Banner, and I can’t wait.  Speaking of IB, we have to talk about Crucible. It’s fantastic. Ditching it’s 3v3 and 6v6 for a straight up 4v4 via Halo works, and it works really well. Five modes crammed into 2 different styles of gameplay. You want to sit back and just have fun? Quickplay is for you. You like sweating bullets? Competitive is for you. All the gamemodes work just fine, with Deathmatch, Supremacy, Control, Survival, and Countdown being apart of the rotation. I look forward to the day they give me back my RIFT! The one game mode I dominated more than anything else, period. Anywho, moving right along, we get into the loadouts. At first, I believed the new loadouts to mainly focus on PVP, but now, I realize they really help balance out PVE as well. With mods you get to change certain perks, damage types, etc. to compliment your play style. Oh yeah, we get mods. As you level up more, you’ll get to do more with them, and they go in both your armor and your guns. Mods are really cool with giving you little bonuses like “Solar Melees charge faster” or “Power Weapons handle faster” so on and so forth. It opens up a huge realm of possibility for future ones made if they continue down this avenue.  Well Steven, what about the gear? Tell us about the loot we can earn! Is it worth it? Yes! And no.  What do I mean by that? Well the mods basically replace the “experience” you use to have to pump into each piece of armor/weapon to unlock certain perks. You no longer have pump hours unlocking everything on the weapons/piece of gear in mention. This also gets rid of the whole “Getting a perfect roll” thing that made people like myself who are perfectionists who would grind endlessly for a God roll item. However, it makes it also so every item is the same. Everything comes the same, and everything comes unlocked right off the bat. It’s both a positive and a negative. After 2 weeks, I’ve come to love it, because it makes testing an item so much easier when I’m just trying to figure out a mod, and that’s it. However, it’s quite obvious this take some of the depth from the overall experience of the first. But to “handcraft” new weapons and armor makes it easier for them as a whole if they don’t have 30 variations of said item, and it all makes sense to sort of streamline it. Plus it’s nice to not be facing 30 versions of a particular gun like let’s say...Imago Loop with Explosive rounds and Firefly every fucking match.  There are LOADS of different guns, gun types having Grenade Launchers and SMG’s make their debuts, and nearly a dozen different outfits to dress your Guardian up in. If I remember straight, 18 Exotic weapons, and nearly a dozen Exotic armor pieces for each class. Some return from D1, I think it’s two guns, and a least 2 armor pieces for each class. But most of it’s new, some of it’s weird, and some of it’s bloody awesome. Two words, Tractor. Cannon.  So with changes to how we can get loot, and the loot we can get, what about the worlds? Are they as barren as they were in D1? No. With Lost Sectors and hidden chests around every corner, and a FREAKING map to check it all out with, there is a TON to do in every world. I’d say the most “empty” is Titan, but it is on a rig system, above basically a giant planet made of nothing but water...so it makes sense. But the EDZ and Nessus are full to the brim with these things, and can we take a minute and appreciate that Bungie took what we would have called “Loot Caves” in the first game, opened them up, and made it a sprawling cave in which you explore for loot rather than just kill spawning enemies coming out of it. It’s both brilliant and a nice little jab at ones “roots” per say, showing what they learned about the mistakes along the way.  So the last thing I’ll touch on is the story. Now some have PRAISED it, saying it’s AMAZING, and some have said it’s “Ho Hum, go check out Witcher 3 scrub” and I have to say, I literally fall in between the two. I feel the story gets a lot right, but also misses a few opportunities to really push itself into next level story telling. But to play Devil’s Advocate here, I feel they did the right thing by giving us something fun, understandable, and more lighthearted to flesh out the fantastic group of characters they have. Obviously the fan favorite is Cayde-6. I don't think anyone has an argument on that one. Zavala gets more of a human touch and look at, as well as the other Vanguard leader Ikora. Adding to the cast is the solid Sloane, the bipolar Failsafe, sassy back and forth between Hawthorne(Bae) and Devrim Kay, and the brooding/snobby Asher Mir. All are welcome into the universe here, and I can’t think of any one of them I’d take away from the series. Each character has a back story that can be fleshed out in side missions and side quests. Also, each one acts as a vendor that you can give “tokens” to the respective leader of the respected area to get gear and weapons from. Each one takes around...30 tokens to unlock an engram? Which sounds like a fuckton, but really is super easy to obtain since you get daily challenges on each planet, activity, and crucible variant that will net you two for fairly easy tasks. Not to mention you get one for completing matches of Crucible, one for opening chests planet side, and one for completing Lost Sectors and Public Events. It wouldn’t even take you an hour to get one engram if you focused on one area.  But anyways, the story, to me, is a strong point. No, not because like I said before, treads new ground. No, it’s because it focuses on it’s great cast, while expanding it further out, and laying a MUCH better foundation to build upon than the sandy lot that Destiny’s first game had. Cutscenes show us more of the rest of the cast, plus gives us deep moments with it’s main villain Dominus Ghaul, aka Gary. Ghaul is a good villain here, who feels like he is owed the Light, the force that gives the Guardians their powers. After you learn more about his backstory, and what he’s been through, you begin to understand just why he feels that way. If he wasn’t Hell bent on killing everyone, maybe he’d be cool to have a drink with. Between him and Oryx, I’d say Oryx is the more interesting, but Ghaul is the most human, whether he realizes it or not.  So I could go on an on about this game, but I think I’ll cut it off here and give my final rating for the game.  My final rating is...an 8/10. I’d also DEFINTELY recommend putting this game on your shelf, and if you do, hit me up on Xbox, clan “House of Spider” is looking for some new blood!  If it wasn’t for the MT and the fact that we get our powers so quickly, we might as well not lost them, I’d rate the game a little higher, but for me, it stays level with the ending of Destiny because even though the overhauled quite a bit, it doesn’t innovate enough to push it past those two solid negatives for me. However, it has a base that with a couple of expansions, some live events (Which looks to be coming!), and a few updates, could evolve into that 9 or even 10 by the end, it just depends on what Bungie wants to do, and hopefully now that they established a little good will, now they can focus on going balls to the wall with future content and releases. But to me, without a doubt, this game is a sequel, but I think it’s safe to say, we want to see even more next time. You gave us a solid story, now give us one that blows us all away. Ball is in your court Bungie.  I’ll see you guys soon, I think I’m going to try and do a review on Wolfenstein: The New Order as well as it’s Expansion “Old Blood” before the release of “The New Colossus” next month, so keep an eye out for that, and I also want to maybe touch on a horror game or two for the spirit of Halloween! So until next everyone, have a great and safe weekend, and I’ll see you guys real soon!
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there is so much that confuses and scares me about the current situation but the transgender ban baffles me the most. there are so many areas where we do need to take major action to improve the quality of people’s lives, to improve their economic situations...
why would they go after these vulnerable people who are serving honorably in our military, in all areas and phases? they aren’t hurting anyone. they are doing good work. no one in the armed forces wants to get rid of them. certainly not the generals. they highly value competent and passionate service people.
there is so much to get done now. we have so many problems and challenges that need to be addressed in this country. so many. that are miles and miles and miles more important than this ridiculous effort. it is just pure nastiness and evil. another example of these people going after those who are struggling more than anyone else in this country. who are fighting the good fight and doing jobs that others don’t want to do. and being rewarded by being chased down by ICE, terrorized. many of whom are not even remotely criminals. many who have green cards. they are rounded up for no reason other than racism and hatred and blame.
no one is denying that white people all over the country are suffering. that a lot of industries have disappeared which is beyond traumatic and devastation. and people everywhere but especially in small towns, are not being offered Re-Training. and there is no excuse at all for that. it if unconscionable to lay people off and leave them with nothing and no new skills to help them make a transitions to new industries that are thriving and growing. which, ironically, include alternative energy sources when the EPA has been decimated by this administration. especially disturbing when Drumpf is talking about putting solar panels on the freaking wall!!!!!!!
which shows that he does believe in the efficacy of other forms of energy.
this industry is thriving because informed people know that it is cheaper and completely not destructive to our fragile eco-system. solar power, wind power, clean nuclear power.... the possiblities are endless and there are jobs for people in these areas.
same deal with things like Robotics. they require extremely high levels of training and skill but there must be related jobs that are not so out of reach. providing all kinds of supportive to these growing organizations. human resources, all kinds of financial jobs, accounting and such. this would require re-training. but good companies are willing to make this effort and put money towards getting passionate and grateful employees who are so relieved to have a job and to be valued.
so many other areas that i am not even aware of. it kills me that there are so many people who have fallen through the cracks when the 1% of this nation has most of the money and power and does so little for people who were screwed by wall street devils, losing homes. losing everyting.
okay, enough from me. i just get so sad and angry and heartsick kmowing what is happening and knowing that it is not the fault of immigrants. and if immigrants are being brought in to replace american citizens’ jobs, i learned on 60 MInutes that that is often being perpetrated by the corporations who want to save money by paying lower wages.
but the answer is certainly not to terrorize people who are mostly completely innocent and have lived in this country for long periods of time and who have jobs that are not a, shit,  what is the word? i hate being old. threat. not a threat to white people’s work life.
and racism and white supremacy, etc. is not the answer. hate is never the answer. people who choose hatred and violence as a way of being in the world are sad and scared and they need to blame others for there situations. they don’t want to take responsibility for doing what they can to change their lives and get some re-training and consider changing to another profession/industry. they would rather persecute people who have hurt them in no way whatsoever by being people of color or another religion of way of being.
enough from me.
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