#i didnt mean to get so negative in this lol im fine i swear

[pinkadork]

One day words will stop being exchanged and knowing you're more likely to be relieved than devastated or even a bit bummed is sending me

Like okay

Pause for a minute

Lets be real my tumblr page is like my public diary or whatever and like

Idk i look at shit and its sad how much through the entirety of this shit therapy or not ive been trying to see more than my side and be able to see my faults for what they are while also doing something about it but i swear im either villaianized or pacified by you in any given moment and then its like im both a dumb ass for wanting you so badly was and i feel like my feelings get overshadowed bc the bpd and oooh i take meds now, and you still treat me like like an abuser and thats what you tell people. And i just wanna stop feeling like I'll never be able to enjoy anything fr ever again. Even at my best i still have you on my brain when it feels like you're doing everything to erase me and then make me feel like thats the right response. I fucking hate this shit so much its like i sit here and I'm fine and then i keep fucking setting myself off with how upset this makes me. Like nigga i live in my aunt basement, i work in a fucking factory, im a fucking temp worker nigga , and yet and still my stupid ass is worried about who? Trying to figure out how to get right for who? Pathetic as shit.

I know you wouldn't do the same bc you didnt.

I'm so frustrated. it's unbelievable. I keep wrapping my head around how bs this all is, or how i swallowed how angry certain shit has had me.

Again nigga its been months and i know for a fact the same shit is being peddled.

You doing your thing is whatever but doing so and then trying to undermine the fact that itd hurt me (which you later admitted to trying to do anyway) nigga fucked someone then was like "i mean we broke up like 6 months ago so i did good right lol" fucking first of all at 6 months vs 5 years make it make sense, second of all it let me realize that the second time we tried when shit felt "so right" mesnt nothing to this nigga it was a good two months which for me made the breakup reset and st the time this happend made this like 4 months but as you can see by me writing this out who the fuck other than me cares about some weird shit like that. Regardless its like i have to be either high as hell or always working now more thsn ever to not walk into the very accessible highway.

I accepted that i ruined my life but holy fuck did you make it worse

I am forever sorry about how shit ended and every rude outburst ever spouted from my lips, any time i made you feel any negative way, but my brother in christ i didn't and dont deserve this shit and sometimes it really bothers me that i love you the way i do. You act scared of me like im obsessed but i feel like im going mad bc it was like you made me this way. From jump, the constant vc, the way youd make me feel insignificant or like i wasnt enough, and then have the nerve to try and make it a thing about my insecurities that yes i told you about but fuck.

I feel so dumb because i actually would wait until you're ready because i feel deep in my core that i fw you for life type shit. Its always gang shit whatever. I love you and want things to be okay regardless to how i feel .

Fuck im tired

#pinkadorkdiaries #bpd vent #breakup vent

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

#ask tot ag i guess #i didnt mean to get so negative in this lol im fine i swear #chitters #text heavy//

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Hello, may I request atsushi with a non-binary s/o who makes a lot of dirty jokes and seems out-going and extroverted but is actually really insecure and quiet and reserved? Ty! ^^

Atsushi with a non-binary s/o who seems out-going but is actually reserved

Fandom:Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings:Atsushi x Non-Binary!Reader

Genre:Fluff,Comedy

Format:Headcanons

Warnings:None

@exorcisedstraydog

▩i dont think that gender really matters to the BSD characters (or at least to most of them) so hes fine with you.

▩you always make him blush by your dirty jokes.he was kinda uncomfortable first,but hes kinda into it now.

▩that still doesnt stop him from blushing LOL

▩he just cant believe how you say such things with a straight face.

▩but what Atsushi didnt know was that you were actually kinda shy when it came to actions.

▩you were fine (extremely fine) with just talking about it,but while doing it? hell no.even worse than him.

▩you didnt want him to know that

▩but he did find out about it. on one afternoon you made one of your casuall dirty comments.

▩"i wonder how your hands feel like when grabbing my hips"

▩he was supposed to just blush and chuckle as always,at least you expected him to do that.

▩but he suddenly kissed you out of the blue.eyes widened ,shocked ,you could feel his hands,which were slightly grabbing your hips.

▩you blushed so hard that you were no different than a tomato LOL

▩and that made Atsushi surprised too.

▩"I...I have to go! um...yes! i have to pee!" "w-what?...ok..."

▩he was embarassed too you know?but your lips tasted good.he wanted to feel them again.he wanted to bi intimate with you,and it hurted him that everytime he tried to get close to you,you made up some excuses and ran away.

▩"im on my period!"

▩"i think im dying!"

▩"i like bananas!"

▩that last one was realy weird tho,but it just came out of your mouth.

▩"i think im gonna throw up!" " because of me?"

▩you suddenly froze.you never thought how Atsushi would feel about your actions.you didnt mean to upset him,but looks like you did.

▩"what?no! i just..." "then why do you blow me of everytime i try to be with you?" "i...i...im shy!"

▩boy he was shocked.

▩"what? ok,i appreciate you trying to make me feel better,but you dont have to lie about it! just say that youre not into me!" "noooo i swear its not because of you!im just shy!" " then why werent you shy while saying those dirty stuff?" "well thats just who i am! i say stuff,but i suck at doing them!"

▩has trouble believing you.still thinks hes the problem.maybe hes not attractive enough...

▩but after a while he does.

▩"really?so i wasnt the problem?" "no silly! youre the only one i wanna do those embarassing things with!"

▩eventually you do it.Taking small steps... it was embarassing at first,but when you were both turned on you forgot all those negative feelings.HeHe

▩After doing the "Thing" ,Atsushi held you tightly in his arms and started smelling your hair till he fell sleep.

▩hes not gonna realise the Reserved part,though.hes not really good at realising these stuff,so he wont find out unless you tell him about it.

▩when you do tell him,he does his best to make you feel better and tries really hard to understand you,and you appreciate it.

▩you dont have to hide your feelings in front of him.just be yourself :)

i hope you like this and tysm for requesting!

-Ash

#bungou stray dogs headcanons #bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #atsushi headcanons #bsd imagines #nakajima atsushi #nakajima atsushi x reader #atsushi x reader #atsushi hcs #bungou stray dogs x reader

[adhdusagi]

Princess Tutu episodes 14-end

I watched the entire second half of the series in one day because I make good life choices

Previously on Princess Tutu Watch:

Okay I can get back to Tokyo Mew Mew now

+++++++++++++++++++

It was a lie, I could NOT

EPISODE, UH, FUCK……… 14! - The Raven

asdklsdhflhdl (google docs stop capitalizing my keysmashes) they’re bringing back “once upon a time there was a man who died”!!!!!! Honestly that might be one of my favorite lines in this whole show

Gotta love the sarcasm in “and they lived happily ever after”

The theme song…… it’s so good

Oh nooooooooooooooo

This scene is literally just the “I’ve got a headache that comes and goes” meme

Fakir you complete dork. You’re all dorks

“Princess Tutu and a crocodile are totally different” you tell ‘im, Mytho

Duck speaks so much more regularly than the other main characters? I mean, there’s Fakir over there like “Shall we go?” and Duck saying things like “I’m gonna be late!” and using “like” and “stuff”... I mean, I know this is the dub, but

Duck why are you using Fakir’s dumb excuses omg

Lilie is just the personification of my negative thoughts

BUT WHAT DID MYTHO TELL FAKIR

Awwwwwwww Duck, no

They’re in a terrifying Raven Dimension with like, ominous music and people wailing in the background and meanwhile Kraehe and the Raven are just having like, a normal conversation

Also, are the white feathers supposed to be like, what’s trapping the Raven there?

Duck please

Wait, Princess Tutu transformed on her own!

Episode 15 - Coppelia

Also, watching Fakir try and fail to stop Mytho from jumping out the window is Pain

Lilie you are a Strange Child

STEALTH DUCK RETURNS!

Oh no?? Fakir doesn’t want to get Mytho in trouble???

alsdfksfh the entire student population is Here For The Drama

Duck don’t yell in the library

Fakir just doesn’t make good decisions

Oooh that doesn’t look good

Sad Kraehe Theme Alert

You “just happened” to do a lot of things, Lilie

Omg Lilie “Want to just happen to go see?”

Rue just shows up to trash talk Fakir for a minute and then leaves

I say as if I’m not in So Much Pain

Yeah! Every single time Princess Tutu transformed in the first season, it was because Drosselmeyer said something, but now she’s transforming on her own!

Oh no Mytho

Also I like how Tutu doesn’t just flat-out say “you don’t actually love him” and instead is just like “how about you try doing things you enjoy with the guy you like instead of giving him Your Actual Heart”

Episode 16 - The Maiden’s Prayer

Wait is Angry Narrator back or did the other narrator just regain the heart shard of Withering Scorn?

Lilie isn’t even interested in the love triangle, she just wants Duck and Pike to fight

Is that Goatette

“So pretty…. What? Oh yeah I meant the flowers of course haha” Duck

Such a serious child

“Love only me, hate everyone else”/“The prince who loves me and me alone”

This child is amazing

It was such a good decision to give Fakir a little sister. A good decision for everyone involved

aslfsdjhklgdlghdjghfdklkdkalh Kraehe told him that Duck would suffer if she knew what was happening with Mytho so Fakir isn’t going to tell herrrrrrrrrr Fakir please don’t internalize that!! You are breaking my heart sir

Oh my god it wasn’t Goatette it was the sloth

*The Can Can plays loudly over a sloth just kinda hangin out*

Episode 17 - Crime and Punishment

This may or may not have been the last episode I watched the first time I watched this show?

“Eyes of truth” huh?

This dumbass child

Femio, from the other side of the school grounds: “DID SOMEBODY SAY ‘PRINCE’????”

What the Fuck are you doing with your hands, kid

Why are you a cow

Honestly as over-the-top as Femio is he is also simultaneously the most realistic middle-schooler in this entire show

Oh my god he’s on probation

I’m sorry I’m just talking about Femio but he’s hilarious

Truly a Grade A Idiot

What is he even doing with his life

I’ve become Lilie

These characters have emotional crises over people saying the stupidest things and tbh I relate to that

Oh dear!

The thing is, Femio would be really annoying in real life, but in a tv show he’s just amusing

Rue’s FACE, she’s so done

I like how Duck can tell which building Rue’s in just by the amount of crows around it

Tbh all the students probably have noticed what’s going on, they just think it’s some kind of weird performance art thing. Wouldn’t be out of character for this school

Fakir and Uzura really are siblings, I love this

The best part about this episode is it’s this completely ridiculous person unintentionally getting in the middle of everybody’s emotional issues

“I feel kinda like something happened, and kinda like it didn’t” Duck you are absolutely correct

And of course the Aquarium is good once again

Episode 18 - The Wandering Knight

Incidentally, how old are these kiddos? We know Mytho is older than Duck, so Fakir and Rue probably are too?? But like, probably only by a year? Who even knows what their actual ages are

I mean, Duck is a duck so

It’s! The trees from the opening!

I don’t know if I’ve asked this before, but why does Fakir have a horse?

Oh my god Lilie

Can everybody STOP picking on Fakir for being afraid to die? He is 14, leave him alone

Ahiru is trying so hard to be helpful, give her a chance Fakir

Once again Rue shows up to get in a burn on Fakir and then leave

I swear every time the Aquarium plays in this show

Oh noooooooo Ruuuuueeeeeeee

Literally Protect All Of These Characters

Save These Children From Their Own Emotional Issues

FAKIR PLEASE

Pride is absolutely the worst feeling Mytho could get back right now?

“There’s something sinister going on that I’m not a part of!” And that really gets to you doesn’t it Dross. I bet it’s really… grinding your gears!!!

(why do I feel so proud of insulting a fictional character)

Episode 19 - A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Wow we really are starting this one off on a sinister note (it’s Drosselmeyer’s revenge on me for that pun)

Of course he can’t tell you, he doesn’t fuckin know what’s going on

Fakir please stop basing your entire identity around being a knight

Oh no, Mytho’s regained the heart shard of Basing Your Entire Identity Around Upholding A Role

I wonder if Hermia being tall is like, a meta Shakespeare joke, cause in the play Helena’s really tall and Hermia’s really short, but in every production I’ve seen it was the other way around

Rue stop projecting your insecurities onto your boyfriend

Ohhhhhhhh dear

Finally someone tells all the crows hanging around to shut up

Oh my god she really is super tall

Or Ahiru’s just super short

I am learning so much about ballet mimes

Cool bird shadows

Whoa, different raven background. And the Raven isn’t speaking with him this time? What does it mean

On no, Tutu

Hahaha oh no

Aaahaha they’re the same

THEY EVEN DO THE SAME ARM-FLAILY THING

Episode 20 - The Forgotten Story

ALRIGHT, TIME FOR THE FAKIR’S SAD BACKSTORY EPISODE

Raetzel: *walks in*

Uzura: And where do you fit in the shipping chart, ma’am

THIS is a High Quality Directatorial Decision

Oh no Duck. oh no she’s so earnest nooooo

It is just Extremely Wrong to see Mytho dancing to something besides Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy

Mr. Cat can hear the word “wedding” from three floors up

Oh my GOD they put broken heart stickers on the window

I mean, I say they but we all know it was Lilie

Again, Duck knows exactly where shit’s going down just because that’s where all the crows are

Oh no!

Everybody needs to stop giving Fakir shit Right Now. Everybody needs to stop thinking it’s a bad thing that Fakir didn’t fucking Die, and that includes Fakir OKAY????

I’ve been thinking… Raven Mytho keeps saying things like “people only want love because they want to be loved” and I wonder… if that was sort of his experience as a prince. Or maybe I’m just getting this mixed up with Utena lol. But it does seem like a genuine issue he has as opposed to just something he says to manipulate people. Hm.

Episode 21 - The Spinners

Every time the narrator says “once upon a time there was a man who died” I Will Flip

Duck tries to lean nonchalantly against a door, it goes about how you’d expect

Duck that’s not how writing works (ughgfjdghskjkgf my pain)

AW NO

Oh no Duck is too relatable

UUAAAAAA TREE GHOST TREE GHOST

“Follow my every order and be prepared to die if you should fail” it’s almost like you WANT me to hate you. FAKIR DOESN’T NEED THIS

See Duck agrees with me

PETITION FOR PEOPLE TO LEAVE FAKIR THE FUCK ALONE THAT MEANS YOU TREE GHOST

Ohshit it’s that old guy from the bookshop???

Uzura is NOT “unrelated”, obviously she is Fakir’s baby sister

“I’m just watching again” oh no Duck

Autor what the Fresh Heck are you doing to Fakir

YOU ARE NOT FINE?????????

Honestly Fakir needs to get in touch with his emotions, not get sleep deprived and hallucinate in a field

This tree is saying things Edel said??? Was Edel made from the wood of this tree?????? Oh my god???????????

Anyway that was Intense

Listen, Raven Mytho has real issues and you can fight me on this

Ah, I see Dross is practicing the time-honored authorial tradition of “If the Story Isn’t Working, Hit It With a Wrench”

Episode 22 - Crown of Stone

But who’s going to protect Fakir huh? Answer me that, Duck

One big-ish happy familyyyyyyyyy

I needed this life advice tbh

Aaaaaah Uzura’s talking to Rue!

“Are you the Rue we’re worried about?” I love how she just included herself in that

Autor, I’m……. not sure you want the tree ghost cult to acknowledge you

Uhm, I’m pretty sure Autor doesn’t fit into the shipping chart and I think Uzura would agree with me

Ah fuck!!! Fakir turn around

Wait it’s an owl on a grandfather clock?? Is that actually a thing? These watchnotes are coming full circle

“I want people to love me, but is it okay to just be loved?” yep, the prince is having issues

Autor, I’m pretty sure Ahiru is figuring all that out right now

And like, the Book Men totally know it too, so

HOLY CRAP THIS SEQUENCE

AND THE MUSIC THE MUSIC IS PERFECT

SKLAFDJKVHFJK;JKLSdf;DSLKJFAKSDAKFJHFKLJJFGKLHGJFHSDLJ

I love this show

EPISODE 23 - Marionette

OH! OH! IT’S THE MUSIC EDEL ALWAYS PLAYED BUT SPED UP! That’s actually kinda creepy!

Anyway now I know why I’m so protective of Fakir, we’re both writers who can’t write anything

Oh noooooooooooo Rue

Oooooooooooh don’t like that

Ruuueeeeeeeeee please don’t stab your boyfriend we’ve been over this

Incidentally, hulu needs to quit it with these bogus commercial placements

Drosselmeyer: How dare you try to resolve your emotional problems!

Dross that’s called character development

Hahahaha joke’s on you Dross!

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I! LOVE! THEM!

No of course your heart is lovey-dovey Uzura! Your heart is the lovey-dovey-est!!!

Incidentally, Autor is That Guy who says just because you haven’t finished/published anything you’re not a Real Writer. And he is Wrong

Episode 24 - The Prince and the Raven

Okay, just from this title I know I won’t be able to handle this

THIS ISN’T EVEN THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE

YOU ARE HITTING ME WITH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIED RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE I CANNOT BELIEVE

Okay but and then this story explains all of Raven Mytho’s emotional issues as well???

*sigh* Autor……. Fakir literally just told you his motivation is to protect people and you’re still going on about controlling the fates of all mankind… are you sure you’re not Drosselmeyer’s direct descendent?

Rue don’t go into the crow building

Honestly I’m still dying over the fact that you can tell where things are happening purely based on which building all the crows are at today

Tiny Rue is breaking my heart

UUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TINY RUE IS DOING BALLET

Omg Rue in the beginner’s class!

Oh noooo Uzura’s saaaaad

I KNOW I’ve heard this songgggggggg

THAT WAS A BIT OF THE FOSSILS FROM CARNIVAL OF THE ANIMALS???

Okayokayokay so it’s not Carnival of the Animals but DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS it’s another piece by Saint-Saens and DO YOU KNOW what that piece is called????? fuckin Danse Macabre!!!!! I am immediately filled with a sense of foreboding!!!

The music choices in this show are going to destroy me one day

HOLY CRAP????

I can’t believe so goddamn much happened in this episode???

Episode 25 - The Dying Swan

I’m not rrrrrrrrreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Not even the narrator’s obvious disappointment in Drosselmeyer can give me solace

Oh my god so is the Drosselmeyer we know just a character in Dead Drosselmeyer’s story?

I think it’s a testament to this story’s power that I’m having so many emotions about it even though I know what’s going to happen? Like, some stories, reading the summary is pretty much the same as hearing the story, but Princess Tutu is not one of those stories

Like I just overcame my social anxiety to ask my roommate to be quieter, that’s how good this story is

Aaaaaagh Rue’s change from saying “you love me” to saying “I love you” my HEART

Oh shoot! Mytho’s angry! I thought one of the gate heart shards might be anger

Oh my god Autor literally no one cares what TEA Drosselmeyer drank look at Fakir he’s so done

Aaaaaaaa ohno

EVISCERATE HIM FAKIR

Holyshitholyshitholyshit

Okay but see the lake is outside the city so Dross just took some random normal duck and plunked her down in his fairytale town and that’s why like, a cat teacher seems weird to her because she’s not from inside the story

OH NO THEY’RE PLAYING THE SWAN BUT THIS TIME IT’S RUE

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fuck OFFFFFF

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s the sword birds

excUSE you Dross, the knight has NOT “long been useless”

Episode 26 - Finale

I can’t believe after 9 years I’m finally going to finish watching this show

Okay it’s happening

It begins and ends with “once upon a time, there was a man who died”, the absolute most perfect first line in the history of first lines and you can fight me on this

Okay I’m already almost crying just from the theme song, like the Tchaikovsky fits perfectly into it? I’m gonna sing it

I’m just screaming???? They’re all in distress

BUT DUCK IS NOT GOING TO GIVE IN TO DISTRESS

RUE IS THE SWAN

DUCK DECIDES TO WRITE HER OWN STORY AND THE MUSIC FROM THE END OF THE THEME SONG STARTS PLAYING MY HEART

I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

IT’S ALL THE PEOPLE SHE HELPED

THEY ARE PLAYING THE THEME THAT PLAYS WHEN DUCK IS HAPPY

FUCKING -- AND YOU HIT ME WITH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIED NOW

LOOK! LOOK THE SCENERY OUTSIDE THE TOWN FADES IN

I watched it.

#princess tutu watch #i still cannot believe

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 6 - "It is then that I realize all those years of buying him chicken nuggets has paid off." - Trixie

Colin

OMG NO NOT NIC WHY Literally the only person I actually trusted from the original villains tribe and he's gone fuck. Now I gotta find new allies. I'm gonna start working on Liana more and also talk more to Bryce. He's really nice and we bonded during immunity. I also am gonna keep my ties to the giant Nicholas/Dana/Trixie/blah/blah/blah premade just to keep myself safe. I don't want to go far with them by any means but they're good to keep around because they will keep me safe as long as they can I think. Also fuck Survivor Jeopardy. I love jeopardy but fuck survivor. That is all. Goodnight. 

Bryan

Ok so that vote went perfectly! I didn’t have to use my idol. There were no votes cast against me as well! Poor Willa is gonna wake up and think wtf happened. Trixie is now a close ally to me and Christian as well! I’m still keeping my eye on her tho. She is a very good player so I will not be letting my guard down. Hopefully our tribe will win immunity tho! 

VL DR: tribal jeopardy is darksided and that is the truth and nothing but the truth 

QuilLynn

I villain just got taken out on a tribe with minority heroes, woo! It gives me hope for me and Bryce if we ever have to face a tribal with our tribe. I'm excited for jeopardy, but worried that if I play and lose it for my team (big possibility) I could be in danger, so I might not volunteer to play, but I'm excited to watch either way, I'm sure it's going to be a great comp! 

Colin

I haven't found anything useful since I found that senja idol that one time BUT! Your fave gay just found a cute, fashionable, one-of-a-kind accessory! I found this cute ass shell in the east lagoon and I'm gonna wear it as a necklace for the rest the season uwu. It does nothing but look cute. Kinda like me. yeah that just sums up how exciting my game has been the past few rounds. bye.

Nicholas

quillynn von ghina is the WORST DRAG QUEEN EVER!!!

**Senja and Malam win immunity**

Bryan

Well that sure was something huh? Anyways. AAAAHHH THESE LAGOON SEARCHES ARE FINALLY MAKING SENSE! I FIGURED OUT THE ROCKS! I just hope I’m right about the loud noise being the mountain and not something else and having to search for that then. 

Bryce

Losing immunity is always rough but we gave it our best shot! Somehow I think Zachary Rae should go home :/ !! But I think my current plan is to work with Quillynn and Nicholas and just survive this round. Me and Quillynn are basically trying to find anyone to be a 3rd and give us majority lol so I hope it will pay off. Ive barely spoken to anyone tho so its awk I didnt even message Liana until yesterday. But I feel confident in surviving a little bit I guess

QuilLynn

So we ended up losing immunity and lbr it was my terrible jeopardy skills that caused that so um yikes!! I think i'm definitely in danger of going home, I'm one of two heroes and I lost the challenge for our tribe also, have never messaged Liana yet so.. thats not good! Nicholas is my friend, but he's also a villain and a snake so putting faith in him to vote to keep me? not a cute look! Also I love Bryce, but I can see him voting me out just to save himself, I mean I hope he wouldn't do it, but I understand that he potentially could. I know I'm going to feel awful if I go home this round and I just really hope that doesn't happen.

Chips

Alright, so we had an auction where I was hoping to win Chips and Dip because it is a reference to my name. And that's cute - also they can be tasty depending on the kind of dip. I like to eat salsa or cheese dip. Not really so much guacamole because usually they mix it with onions and I have super negative reactions to onion like getting migraines and tossing my cookies. They wouldn't let up in bidding all of their money on the chips and dip so I ended up with running shoes instead. I am glad to replace my shoes with the one that were given to me by production because they were getting raggedy with me running around the island looking for stuff... even though I never do. They're raggedy anyway. So the auction was also a trick of sorts where they assigned the items you could win to tribes so that whatever you won equaled a new tribe for a swap. And so I got swapped onto the tribe that I was already inhabiting - making me solidly the role of a hero^2. https://78.media.tumblr.com/7d1a5d1c5e57899b572bc46a1f20d7ce/tumblr_ohi0x1vidX1vn1j1jo3_250.gif Swapping onto my tribe are Zach and Dana! And staying with me are Jay and Kelsey. Here's the rundown of how I feel about this - I'd like to work with Zach or Dana but they are likely already working together and if they weren't then this swap will make it more likely in that they are two villains amongst three heroes. I need to decide whether to try and scoop them up with Jay or Kelsey or to join with Jay and Kelsey in voting one of them off. I'm not sure at the moment which direction I want to go so I'm just socializing with everyone and keeping my options open. https://m.popkey.co/4bc560/QLJpy_s-200x150.gif So the next challenge was the stay up forever challenge where you shoot darts at people and me and Zach were the last standing of our tribe! Which I think hopefully makes me look like a good contributor and worth working in the game with? I dunno - I hope that's true... at any rate we didn't lose and the other tribe did with their player getting bored/tired/accepting their fate. That player was Nic and he got voted out at the following tribal council so it's kind of an awful position for him to be in. I mean, being the last around whenever no one else was there to pull it out for him! Anyway... that's all I have to say about that, because that's all there is. http://31.media.tumblr.com/d5a54fcf6460728f38b397226b628289/tumblr_mmd9ltjQs11r6xbv8o1_250.gif --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next round we have to play Jeopardy and then Logan did this thing where he scheduled it at times where I can't play so I get to do the fun thing where I can't show up and can't bond with all of my new friends... which is okay, but also sad. We won immunity by blowing the other teams out of the water which is surprising because I swear Jeopardy is usually very close... Hm? At any rate! I love immunity so I don't have to worry about who to vote out! https://media.giphy.com/media/4bWWKmUnn5E4/giphy.gif Guess I need to go back to socializing. Or also search since I still need to use my extra run with my shoes.

Willa

If we lose immunity and Trixie votes me off I've been a victim of cyber bullying 

Colin

ok so obv us going to tribal isn't.... ideal.... but Survivor is about adaptability!!! I can make it work. I got a plan. So I think on my tribe I like Bryce the most. I get good vibes from him, he has Dua Lipa as a pfp, whats not to like. SO I wanna set an alliance type thing with him into motion. I think the obvious plan on our tribe is going to be voting out Liana. But I don't wanna do that. She was close to Nic, I was close to Nic, and she makes an excellent goat. Merge is probably in the next 2 or 3 rounds, and having another number around is essential. That leaves two potential targets for me. Quil and Nicholas. This is gonna sound crazy but hear me out. They're part of the huge premade that I mention all the time, and every member of that premade is still in. And merge is comin' soon!! That's gonna be a nearly unstoppable force if it's still intact during the merge. It's too late in the game to take out easy targets. We gotta think bigger!! I'll update y'all as soon as I can xoxo

Later...

okay so y'all know how I can never keep my god damn mouth shut right? WELL THAT JUST ACTUALLY WORKED OUT FOR ME FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. I was talking to Quil about the vote and then??? he brings up the possibility of voting out Nich??? and bitch im SHOOK. So I start talking to him  and it turns out he doesn't wanna be associated with that friend group at all and he is 100% down for tearing down the premade. WHEW, this is honestly perfect. It's a backup in case Bryce isn't on board, and if leaves less room for bad blood for when Nicholas is taken out tonight. I'm so so so happy this worked out whew. That's one less premade member for when the merge hits, and one more ally for me. I really respect Quil for being able to play on his own, and I feel like after just that small conversation I trust him a million percent. Tonight is gonna be fun ladies!

Zach

yeah i won immunity.. that's right. all me. im also bitter that my idol i found today was not for my tribe. wtf??? rude! leaving me to DIE WITHOUT TWO IDOLS? what kind of sorcery. anyway i gave it to trixie for obvious reasons, and ideally idk what to do now. i dont trust dana.

Trixie

Trixie’s Almost-Tragic Tribal Council: So once we swapped, I suggested to nic that since villains have majority we should make an alliance, and nic set up a group with willa and i. Then, we lost the challenge and everything went to YIKES.

Willa and nic were saying to vote christian, which was fine by me, except I had a sneaking suspicion that nic was going to flip with the heroes and take me out. I went to willa and he didn’t seem to care/believe me: cue my freakout. I called bryan and he confirmed that nic had went to him with everything, and that I was the target because I had “friends on the other tribes”. 

So, I knew immediately I had to call the pest control because we got ourselves a snake problem! I talked to christian and said that nic would be the better vote because he’s super shady, and she agreed. I also dropped some stuff that hopefully she would tell bryan cus I knew they were aligned, like how much i trust him, and how nic is just trying to play both sides.

Moral of the story: anybody with the name and or variant of “nic” is a snake. Bye.

Later...

So i’ve been looking for this idol for DAYS. I got chased by a beastly komodo dragon that kind of looked like dana, except a lot cuter and less flaky scaly skin. Anyway, I was really feeling this idol search desperation last tribal but I managed to flip the target from me to nic. But I almost exhausted all possible searches in the east lagoon and then suddenly, I get a message.

A message from the heavenly gods up in the clouds. I remember it clearly: the sun is a beautiful shining rae, the fluffy white clouds part to reveal an angel descending from the skies, holding the most magical item in the world. I am on the ground, a meekly dumb furby staring up stupidly to the skies, watching this divine being. He gifts me an idol and I know now that the angel is zachary rae. It is then that I realize all those years of buying him chicken nuggets has paid off. Thanks filmy lav you xx.

Kelsey

Well good golly Miss Molly, safety first~! It feels great to have immunity once again on this island. Top ten is slowly and slowly becoming more and more real and...it just...I can't believe I'm so close! Back in the reunion of my old season, I remember Jackson saying he underestimated me and I remember telling him to BUG OFF, but now...now, if this keeps up, I may be a true contender to snatch the crown~! I just have to keep PRAYING that these challenges will rely on those with strong physical acumen because if there are ever one on one face offs again, I'm not too sure that can take me to the end. In terms of voting off hookers, I...am still rather nervous about going to a tribal. I still haven't been able to get Chips and Jay in the same room as each other and time's running short because I can just FEEL we're going to have to vote someone eventually. I could always try and throw my lot with Dana and Zachary, but who's to say those two are on good terms? Even more so, what if there's one of each tribe speaking with another? It would be entirely and utterly scary and...I don't even know where to begin in terms of sifting out who is who. I just hope i make it further, goodness KNOWS I deserve it! And THAT'S all there is to it~! Stream Reputation on Spotify Now! -Kelsey V Mikaelson #TeamIBelieveInYall #TeamBEES

Christian

Thank god trixie won the 5% challenge advantage, because I really wasn't looking forward going to tribal again. I think her and I are pretty solid. So if we did have to attend another tribal, her, Bryan, and I would vote Willa out. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me lol, unless I'm reading it wrong. 

Liana

It took too long to get on a tribe with Chris and I'm tired so I'm probably getting voted out because I'd rather sleep than talk to strangers.

Jay

So Dana and I straight up crush Jeopardy lol we got 3k and the others got 600. Not to brag but im kinda awesome at trivia :)

#zerotohero #confessionals

[jeffxjustin]

meself dont read u’ll get annoyed

hi hello i...i am back.

so first off, i wanna write on the eve of our tour to cebu. i dont wanna come and so i didnt prepare extravagantly (did i ever?!?!). anyway, its kind of rainy anyway and so im not expecting much with that kind of weather, esp if you guys would travel around 2-3am. its already 12 and i didnt get an ounce of sleep bec im not in the mood for this. its not that i dont fancy travels, vacation and stuff but (noticed i had too much ‘its’ it bothered me) i hate leaving when i need to do work or sort of that. sir javar pep talked us last fri and i got energized hearing his words and so i tried going back on shape. last two weeks are pretty terrible. so much efforts went to waste as i prepared for things that was suspended. i hate that feeling when i make an effort for something and it gets suddenly postponed. am talking bout my eng4 exam that keeps getting moved and moved. studied without sleep and, eyyyy prof says lets move it. anyway fuck that. it had negative impact on me bec previously i was on a roll, had so much job w orcc stuff, layb and plss. not to mention maintaining kulayan on a half dead situation (sorry, i dont have the capacity some ppl have, yet). i was managing them all, then boom. dread feelings came bec i lost on track due to numerous reschedulings and sht. i skipped classes, did half-assed jobs, had a huge debt. wanna cry, yknow, bec i wanna release these feelings of dread. but i dunno, straight five months i have yet to cry. its freakin heavy and with that constant things of dread following you, you wont function well. pals told me i have a high saturation point. handy, but troublesome. and so going back to sir javar’s peptalking, it certainly made me alive. and mind you i want to go back on track too. i was kind of proud when i got included on sir’s top ten without studying real hard (got the ninth) but i hated it bec i didnt give my all. yknow, i had this thinking that i shouldnt be wasting my efforts on something not worthy. /worthy/ is subjective, obviously and i only have few in mind but i guess thats bec im still learning. the list may or may not go, depending on the situation.

 i hate staying at my room, puffing cigars doing nothing. i feel useless. 

yes, i may have improved technically, considering all the work im handling right now, but its fucking exhausting. its not healthy working while carrying some emotional baggage yknow. i may carry this forever but sometimes i hope it would just disappear. 

honestly, maybe i was just too fast. my 3 years in the university were pretty stale and boring (comparing to others’). things became /explosive/ last sem, this midyear, and this sem. it may not be better than others’ experiences, but whatever. 

i am kind of scared on what will happen next year, but definitely maybe it’ll be worse. maybe maybe maybe of course things can still go upsy turvy but im a pessimist most of the time so...im sorry (dont worry im not a nega guy when on the actual he he). my birthday is kinda near but im not really enthusiastic about it. had plans of actually inviting my layer 1 friends (means my really really close friends) and maybe we’ll drink or eat or whatever. a time spent with them is fun with me, and birthdays are /supposedly/ fun so...yea. on gifts, hm. not looking forward with gifts bec im too old for toys or wut. maybe a song or a poem would do??? (haha honestly idk what to say bec im usually the one who gives gifts. and so i dont really know what to feel if i get to receive one. maybe overwhelmed bec ill be grateful? any gifts r fine ill appreciate it lol. TOTALLY NOT ASKING FOR GIFTS I SWEAR UNTO MY LEFT EYE)

tis the first time i talked like this on a social media platform. sorry, too bored. prolly this thing’s getting annoying and so ill stop. i hate annoying people. until the next one ;)