#i genuinely couldnt see myself beyond a cv at some point

[barnbridges]

idk the thing that has brought me the most happiness and stability in my life is the acceptance that everything is going to one day disappear. no compliment is permanent, no love is either, hatred isnt permanent either, no amount of work i put in to willingly "change" will amount to anything but momentary changes, so my inner confidence should derive from the knowledge of who i am as a person and what i stand for and if im proud of myself. nobody will be there to always be proud of me, and nobody will hate me when im bad so i can avoid doing it myself. everything needs to be internal, because the self i can control and keep in check, the outside ultimately all means nothing.

#idk pessimistic thing to say #but i just #life punched me down and raised me up so many times #i genuinely couldnt see myself beyond a cv at some point #i knew this had to stop so yeah here i am #the singular thing that is constant about me is me i will always be this person adnt his person should be someone im happy being #nothing else matters #this doesnt mean never get better or theres no mishaps happening but it means that ultimately #there is an essence of ME that i should cultivate and should be proud of being #nobody else will love ME nobody else will be with me at the best and the worst #so the ME that is should be someone i trust