#i love letting him break the regimented social role hes been beaten into

[thatgirlwithasquid]

Y’know what I love? Giving Billy hobbies, the soft ones. It makes me so warmly happy. Knitting, sewing, reading, jigsaws, sudoku, sketching, scrapbooking. I want him to be able to do it all. I want him to be able to sit down and solve or create, have some little things where he can look down at it and think “I made this” “I solved that” and it have nothing to do with the toxic masculinity Neil shoves at him.

And maybe he sometimes breaks the things he makes. Maybe he throws paint over his finished canvas, maybe he tears up his sudoku book or scratches out words in his poems; but then that makes them something new, a product of his pain, art of his suffering. Suddenly the way he feels is tangible, and messy, but its made something new — something broken like him, but still interesting and beautiful. It’s catharsis and it’s his.

#billy hargrove #i want him to be able to sit down and breathe!!!! #i love letting him break the regimented social role hes been beaten into #soft moments make me so happy with him