#i think im starting to get bored of this game

[drdemonprince]

Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.

I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.

I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.

transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.

if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.

ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.

maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.

[pywnoyalien]

why the fuck people still like my 432 stuff

gotta do more

#fanart #stanley parable #the stanley parable #tsp #stanley parable ultra deluxe #tspud fanart #tspud spoilers #doodles #tsp fanart #stanley #tsp stanley #tsp 432 #tspud #tspud stanley #i think im starting to get bored of this game #still lovin it tho #bye #this is 432's hands btw #just so you know #pywnoyart.png

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

sometimes i think about an AA universe where Edgeworth didn't have to be shuffled off every 5 seconds so he could maintain credibility as a rival....where Phoenix didn't have to win every case...yes AA is a game yes i understand why it did that for the narrative. but when I look at those lonely scared 24 year olds from AA1 i can't help but think that their version of a happy ending would be to be able to get used to each other. to face each other over stupid cases and small things. Sometimes one winning, sometimes the other, until it hardly matters anymore, all that matters is finding the truth together. I want them to take each other for granted!!! i want them to look at the other across the courtroom and say "time to face this bitch for the hundredth time i guess!!" these poor bastards have never had anything approaching emotional stability before let them have each other damn it

#idk im just. emotional #i feel like at that age?? at that place in their character development??? romance aside that would be legit be #the best happiest situation for both of them. and i feel things when i imagine it #we see so much of the grand gestures intense moments side of their relationship #they're always helping each other in their darkest moments and stuff like that but i wish they could also have #a very mundane professional dynamic. bitchy and prickly and earnest cause they both care a lot. and loving in their way #it's sad to me that so much of fic revolves around the idea that 'when phoenix and miles start dating miles will finally stay' thats #so tragic!!!!!!! am i the only person who thinks that's tragic #the game had to keep them apart for Narrative Reasons but i know my boy miles edgeworth and he would want to get bored of that spiky hairdo #and that handsome face. from seeing it in court so much. #narumitsu #wrightworth #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #ace attorney #aa1 #aa2 spoilers #aa3 spoilers

[everyonesidolgoro]

Why are they looking like I'm starting to pick a fight

#im kinda disappointed by their additions idk i only played as majima for a short period so maybe i need to try again #but i was hoping for their combat to be more fleshed out n stuff #i also think mad dog of shimano is the most boring majima fight style to play sorryyy #idk what exactly i was expecting but just more! #i was hoping they were fully fledged like kiryu #apart from this let down i think the game is wonderful #having so much fun with the combat #i really need to get the judgement games #but i still need to finish lad dead souls and start ishin lol #ive been playing these games for half a year and im still not up to date hehe #rgg #yakuza #majima goro #dojima daigo #ryu ga gotoku #the man who erased his name #gaiden #gaiden spoilers #lad gaiden #lad gaiden spoilers #like a dragon gaiden spoilers #yakuza spoilers

[spaciebabie]

Remember when you said "I dont go here and probably never will" about cotl? That's hilarious to think back on now

BWAHAHHAHA YEAH i dont think it'll be a hyperfixation type deal but i am quite enjoying playing the game :3

gotta thank the people on my dash and friends for being coocoo crazy about that game otherwise i never would have gotten it lol

#LOL YOU REMEMBER THAT ASKJHFJA #see this is how the tumblr ecosystem is supposed 2 work. find new interests and cool games via diffusion #if this ask ages like spoiled milk. well. i guess thats how the tides will be #see i thought it was a turn based rpg and i fucking hate those they're so boring 2 me #undertale and deltarune are the only exception b/c there's bullet hells and im actually playing something sjdfsdhf #spacie splains #but then i got the game and it was killing thangs and i love killing thangs :3333 #it does a good job at balancing the dungeon crawling cult building and other stuff #im very picky so i wasnt sure i would like it ajfhjfdhs #like i started playing omori but its like. pokemon type mechanics and . ive heard the story is worth it #but i cant slog my way thru these boring ass battles 😭 #im probably gonna play it thru multiple times at different difficulties (heh get it) #i started playing it at 9pm yesterday and then played for like 5 minutes and all of the sudden it was 1 am AHGUAUAAHAHHA #BLOO WAS RIGHT ITS VERY ADDICTING #i think imma get a controller 2 play it. using a mouse is quite hard 😭

[cherrysnax]

Chevys sim looks just like them fr and like just looking at them confuses my brain in a good way!!

#I think my sim self is too hot but Chevy says it’s accurate so I’ll believe them #im happy with my sim thought because I even got the hyperpigmentation on my cheeks and my dark circles n my acne spots #im ehh on my skin tone because im inside all the time and im starting to get really pale but I think it’s accurate?? #I think I have cool undertones irl but idk abt in the sims #and Chevy has this beautiful brown skin tone that seems like it should have cool undertones but they actually have very warm undertones #and the way her nostrils poke up a bit was the part I wanted to do the most #I see a lot of ours ocs in us and well duh #but also our ocs have impacted the way we dress n shit #because of retro I have a buzzed head and lean towards more spikes chokers and bracelets even though I tend to prefer lacier accessories #Chevys locs have grown so much and I see a lot of Leo in the way they wanna style them #also the fingerless gloves #sorry thinking about our webcomic #when we first started dating I forgot how to draw because I was so happy #so to learn how to draw again I drew Chevy a lot #and even now when im bored I doodle a little chevy #i started drawing myself more when we started dating because we were long distance at first #so I wanted to draw us together. and now I can draw self portraits that actually look like me!! it’s crazy #and now we’re immortalized in the sims :’) #which is where so many of our show your spine characters were first made… crazy how things come full circle #im manifesting a show your spine game in the next 10 years on god

[andichoseyou]

cant stand big brother fans tbh dhdhhd someone makes a game move against someone the fans like, and they start making the weirdest & grossest comments abt the person who made the move. like um guys.... they r there to play a game.... they aren't being STUPID or DUMB or RACIST or SEXIST, JUST BECAUSE THEY WENT AGAINST SOMEONE YOU LIKE!!!!! some of their favs aren't doing good AT ALL in the house, like DUH they are going to be targeted!!!!! like i just know if these big talkers on twitter who spew the most hatred online would not last a day in that house, they'd realize they actually have to talk people face to face and would start shitting their pants and crying and throwing up because they have never had a human connection a day in their life

#like everyone 'stanning' the most boring and bland ppl #like why is blue a fan favorite ? #im sorry!!! she's gorgeous she seems nice but WHAT has she actually done in the game thus far to become a fan fav???? #or like kirsten #also gorgeous also seems nice and funny #i dont WANT her to leave but what has she done to make ppl lose their minds about her being on the block??? #she said herself that she shot herself in the foot and made mistakes #im sorry babes but thats just big brother she cant just stay because u think shes pretty djhdhdhs #izzy is also getting on my nerves a BIT but not enough to start saying nasty things abt her online! #U GUYS DONT KNOW THESE PEOPLE #and we are not that far into the game #all these people u claim to hate will probably become ur faves in like a week #ppl on bb twitter are soo annoying #my thoughts #bb25

[griponthenews]

no because that meme of someone watching a streamer play their favourite game but they misunderstand it horrendously. That’s literally me with Not for Broadcast. I have yet to see a streamer play it and use like their actual brain and critical thinking skills when choosing whether to side with Advance vs Disrupt. Like the point of the game is nuance and the grey morality of both sides but these people will just assume everything Advance do is bad while supporting Disrupt without questioning any of their actions because Advance are the government and therefore automatically pure evil? Say what you will about Julia’s government, but early game Advance genuinely have some stellar policies. But every streamer I’ve seen play this game always goes fully pro-Disrupt as soon as they have the option to do so, without considering the actual good things Advance are doing at that point, like the Menu Centres or the Assets and Wealth Act. I’m not forgetting about their inexcusable actions later on in the game (if you’ve played it then you’ll know what I’m talking about), but even then that was mainly Julia’s decision rather than Advance’s (can’t remember which ending it is but there’s that tape where Peter is very clearly against what Julia did). Arguably the best epilogue of the game happens when the public is in favour of Advance over Disrupt. But because typically in dystopian fiction the rebel faction is the morally better choice I guess people assume Disrupt must be too? Despite all this the most annoyed I’ve ever been watching someone play this game was when at the end the guy said (in a roundabout way of complimenting her I guess??) that Megan’s actor did a good job at making you hate her. How someone can come out of this game hating MEGAN WOLFE of all characters is beyond me.

sorry for how incoherent and badly formatted this post is I just have to rant about Not for Broadcast or I’ll explode.

#You get it this is MY game. This is the game I honk you have to play to understand my psyche #think autocorrected to honk. OK #I know I’m autistic and this game is literally a special interest of mine. So therefore I will care about it way more than some letsplayer #but #I want to see someone play it without getting the Accord epilogue for once #playing pro Advance and being a propaganda puppet for Julia is so much fun #My favourite epilogue is A Better Jeremy even though it’s undoubtedly one of the saddest #But Accord is so boring I’m sorry. I liked it at first and it was the first epilogue I got but im starting to dislike it more and more #Sorryryyy for the grammar mistakes I’m half alseep

[harvestmoth]

?? started with automation sana from yesterday and somehow it turned into pokemon

#accidentally thought of project sekai pokemon au #each unit has a type theme that i havent thought out completely #all ive got is ghost type niigo water type mmj with decided pokemon #fire type vbs and maybe steel wxs and psychic or rock l/n #i dont know them well enough #did decide akito gets a johto typhlosion though. for the bit #houndoom probably wouldve fit better but. for the bit #anyways look two gacha games with characters i like. not posting them separately because its funnier that way #automation sana is from back before she was powered down. i like to think her paint job peeled off during the years she was gone #the snaa is irrelevant i just think shes neat #also i think in a pokemon magireco au sana would have an eevee maybe #shed evolve them into either a leafeon for the grass type or an umbreon because of the high def and spdef stats #sorry im coping with the fact that i do not own splatoon 3 by thinking about pokemon #wait i just remembered frosslass. could also fit mafuyu with mimikyu going with mizuki #also a possibility if mizuki having hoopa is too boring #also mmj pokemon are mino with vaporeon haru with piplup shizu with azumarill and air with either slowpoke or gorebyss #all started with the thought that kanade looked like a litwick btw #id tag this but its too much of a mess of things i think #two different games with too many characters and im too lazy

[chemicalbrew]

I can't sleep and I had a miserable time today going through my backlog whee

#the first game sucked ass another the second feels like it tipped its hand early so i don't want to come back #the third is alright and cozy and i won't mind writing about it if it keeps being good but it's funny because. #part of the premise is literally the same as aitsf and i just finished it <3 tropes #oh i also tried shovel knight yesterday and i was in misery bc all this game knows is instant death pits and spikes with poor checkpoints #so many games i think i got bc random people said they were okay and the more shit like that i try the more I realize how hard it is #to break out of my niche!!! #i need to start playing something closer to my niche so i can actually have fun instead of wanting to rip everything to shreds #or maybe I need to do something else for a bit like getting into wtnv again #anyway im fine in the grand scheme of things probably I'm just bored #and once again pissed at how hard it is to find good platformers #zero.txt #i think i will also have slept weird for two days in a row which isn't helping. oh well

[thedragonagelesbian]

also love that luc receives one (1) whole rose from alistair and immediately incorporates it into his aesthetic motifs for the rest of his life. he has zevran give him a tattoo of it he has like 5 different dangly earrings with roses he starts incorporating floral swatches into his robes its SO normie of him

#luc posting #btw i think the circle apprentices diy clothes modification game is out of this fucking world #you're a bored 14 year old and you want to ~*~express yourself~*~ but you're stuck wearing these bland uniform robes #we're talking patches we're talking safety pins we're talking recycling and reusing fabric #working with whatever scraps and bits and baubles you can get your hands on rips tears distressing #templars crack down on dress code from time to time but for the most part irving is quite permissive #magic stones fade-touched swatches metal from old staves completely aesthetic rings and buckles #luc starts a fingerless glove trend among the apprentices #which lasts until he gets his hands on a pair that leave just the middle finger exposed #'what no gregoir im definitely NOT flipping you off its an ORLESIAN design i read about it in the library'

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I love my brothheeerrr!

#okay its late night and im sleepy and rambly but #ive been playing x.enoblade3 for the past few hours straight. i am mid final boss. i got bored and sleepy so now i shall go to bed and #finish the fight and game in the morning #and. um. also because i have a crush on a x.enoblade man and i was thinking about cuddling him too much to focus #but!! back to my brother! this post is about r.iku k.ingdom h.earts #thats my little bro!! #he and ash are not biologically related but she works with him and the rat when trying to find a.qua #and they get super close. at first at was just ash protecting v.entus onto him since theyre both around the same age but #ash grows to genuinely love and appreciate him so much. he's such a good kid and i'm just so lucky to be his big sis! #ash rambles 💚 #ash really wants to take him and a.qua on a vacation touring a bunch of different worlds #(also so r.iku can be their personal photographer <3 ash loves her gummiphone posts LMAO) #ok i'm gonna go to sleep! gn! your f/os love you #also. once more. i have SUCH a big crush on m.atthew v.andham and he wont leave my head.. #hopefully tmr i can start his game #i'm uh. totally not excited to see him (lying)

[moonsidesong]

fair ways into magical turnabout. hate nahyuta a lot more than i remembered

#i remembered him being boring but god hes just ANNOYING i miss blackquill #also idk it drives me slightly insane that everyone we've met from khura'in is a monk in some way #like does this place really just not have anything else going for it culturally at all besides its religion #it makes the entire place seem awfully flat #bri talks #idk maybe once we start getting into the Rebellion territory of the story more itll flesh out a little #but like. should not take this long for us to see people that have livelihoods outside worship imo #should be mentioned that i havent finished this game in its entirety #ive been spoiled on a large sum of it and i dont Care if any more of it gets spoiled but i quit a few years ago in the middle of chapter 3 #partially because i was insanely bored of it lol #so like! i dont know! maybe the actual mysteries of the later cases will intrigue me. #but right now it feels like bestie and i are being forced to make our own fun out of it #like inventing cliff terran. who is clay's identical brother who isnt aware clay is dead and is also strange but nice and is everywhere #<- also a twist villain????? the cliff lore is intense you guys wouldnt get it #anyway if youre reading these tags. hi! hope youre having a good day slash night #if you saw something in this game that im not . good for you! youre having more fun than i am LOL #and if you're thinking about getting into ace attorney as an outsider...... go for it!!!! the trilogy is still great!!!!!! #not everyone likes aa4 but its personally my favorite!!!! just maybe wait a while after trilogy it can be a bit jarring if you play them-- #--in succession #thats all goodnight Lol

[nerice]

all i wish is that one day i will feel as insane again as i did in 15/16 for. various reasons (t100/aos/black swan hell/summer songs.. + more) som/hv -> tge pit in 18 comes in close second though

#elia txts #there's a feeling in ocverse game changers before you know conceptualize them as such..... in 15 i was only getting started #now things are established. planned. i am never getting bored but it feels different. i miss the wild days of knowing nothing #of not knowing what i was getting myself into even though i was alrdy writing it for 6yrs at the time.. #nostalgia will eat me alive......... :'( #all im saying is. im way due for another brain scramble that will only sink in as important 5 yrs later #tho i do rmbr summer 15 feeling so unique... on some level i knew i think. #i have to stop here it hurts too much..... i just want to be okay again i am so far from being able to even begin to approach that feeling

[gekkonidae]

Ive been taking my sweet ass time with totk haven't even touched the main quest yet, gonna get full stamina and all the hearts before I actually play the story

#this is what i live abt open world games #no need to start the story until i actually want to #i think thats something genshin kinda lacks? #i mean the open world is absolutely fantastic in totk and genshin but with genshin some puzzles in the open world you cant do #UNLESS you finish a really long quest #and i mean the quests arent hard but i prefer ignoring story stuff ans being able to actually explore without NEEDING the quest in order to #do so #which totk and botw did really well bc all the mandatory mechanics are things you get in the very beginning #and then ur just free to do whatever without needing the main quests #well #axtually i guess since some quests are aboit fixing environmental issues it kinda counts #but those environmental issues dont fully stop you from exploring the way the exploration in genshin does #i love both games #i mean w somw games i lose interest pretty fast like in a few months #but w genshin its been. 2 years? and im still not bored enough of the game to quit #i dont play the game for very long tho. i do some stuff then i close it which i guess is why i havent experienced full burnout #i think games w more freedom are just straight up better at keeping my attention for long periods of time #games w set paths like pokemon and some other story driven games donr keep my enjoyment for as long #i mean i love pokemon but it does get predictable and boring after a while #im not attached to genshin enough to want to stick with it no matter what tho like trust me the minute i get too bored to play #im leaving it w/o a second thought lol

[corpsoir]

really exhausted after thisd week already and its barely thursday

#contacted the museum i want an internship at. scary. they forwarded it to the person in charge of stuff like that. #had a bunch of lectures this week i barely understand because the prof is just mumbling and going on tangents every 5 seconds #organising and planning a game night with the student association. stressful as shit but its fine itll be fun #trying to remember to sit down and eat and drink and not completely turn myself into mush over everything #hung out with friends today for a few hours had a bit of wine and complained about our studies #you know. the usual #i got to talk about my bog bodies with my friends at least so thats fun #<- all of the friends are studying the same programme as me and are all archaeologists except for one of them who's a historian #well. were all nerds at least #got to pick some apples over at another friends place at least <333 im gonna bake so much apple pies good lird #thats the only comfort rn lol im so tired and stressed out sorry hsjkghdsjksd #really really hopeful about the internship though i really hope i get to spend that last term of my bachelors programme there its the dream #idc that i have to take the train every morning it would be worth it #an entire novel in the tags here . hi hello. im really tired and boring today no art for a while i think lol i dont have the time for it #gotta work on my thesis for real and finish other assignments i have barely started hgjdkgfd goddddd. #corp.krax