#i tried hard even tho ive been into one thing lately

[froggibus]

“Why are you crying” - Obey Me

Includes: Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel & Belphie

Genre: angst -> fluff + hurt/comfort

Summary: their reaction to catching you crying

CW: crying, lots of emotions, levi being a trog, hurt/comfort, cursing, panic attacks if you squint?? cuddling

omg hi hi i am so tired + ive been going through it this week but here is something for now. working on some more fics, lots of angst coming soon + maybe new fandoms lol

————

Lucifer: 

he texts you saying you need to come to his study to talk 

you ask if you can have a few minutes 

you feel really out of sorts and want to gather your bearings before going in

he says it’s urgent and makes you come in right now

you go in immediately on the verge of tears and sit down with him

he has a bit of a tone cause it’s been a rough day but all he wants to know is how your school is going

it comes out of nowhere and you instantly start crying 

thinks he’s done something wrong 

“are you—did you get upset over something I said?”

when you shake your head no he’s at a complete loss

is this a human thing??

walks over to you and kneels down between your legs, places his warm hands on your knees 

wipes your tears away and rubs his thumb across your cheeks

tries to calm you enough so that you can talk about what’s bothering you 

even when you’re crying so hard you can barely breathe he manages to stay calm 

after a while when you’re calm enough he’ll bring you water and a snack 

and will coax you into talking to him about why you’re so upset 

Mammon: 

since you’re his responsibility he always HAS to know where you are at all times 

not at all because he cares about you or anything 

so when you lock yourself in the bathroom and yell at him to fuck off through tears he’s stunned 

and annoyed

sits on the other side of the bathroom door and waits for you to calm down some 

after a few minutes he asks if you’re okay

that’s when you really break down

he listens to you cry through the door and wishes he could do something to help you

he gently coaxes you into letting him in 

sits with you and holds your hand 

tried talking you down but you’re crying way too hard for that

for some reason carries you to the bathtub and sits with you between his legs???

it’s weirdly comforting and the heat/pressure of his body makes you feel way better

reminds you that everything is going to be okay and you guys are gonna work this out

when you’re finally calm you realize how weird the situation is 

“wait did you put me in the bathtub”

“it works for Levi”

Levi: 

you’re home early from school thinking no one is home 

but Levi is doing schoolwork from home today

it’s been a really tough day so you lay down on the couch for a while and cry

Levi takes his headphones off to give his ears a break and go get food when he hears someone else is home 

his first thought is that it’s Lucifer and he’s in trouble

until he sees you sobbing on the couch 

he’s not really sure what to do

so he ignores you and goes to get a snack

but then he feels guilty about ignoring you so he comes back

sits on one of the chairs and fumbles with his hands while he figures out what to do

“y/n”

you didn’t even notice he was in the room 

you try to hide the fact that you were crying but it doesn’t work that well

Levi isn’t gonna call you out tho he’s much too awkward for that

asks if you want to come play games with him to take your mind off of things

you take him up on his offer and play games 

tries to be supportive and let you know you can come to him if you need it 

mostly comes out a jumbled stuttered mess but it’s the thought that counts 

doesn’t think to give you a hug until you wrap your arms around him

he just awkwardly accepts and pats you on the back

Satan: 

hears you late at night when he’s trying to read

doesn’t realize WHAT the noise is, just where it’s coming from 

so when he throws open the door and asks you to be quiet only to see your red, tear stained face, he feels like the biggest asshole in the world 

apologizes for being so harsh 

tries to get you to talk to him but you keep insisting you’re fine and you promise you’ll be quieter 

“shhh y/n i don’t care about that now—what’s wrong?”

gets frustrated when you can’t/don’t tell him 

you feel it too so you’re hesitant to let him touch you

but when he gives you a hug you melt into his arms 

kisses your forehead and talks you down 

offers to stay with you until you feel better/can fall asleep

you keep saying it’s okay and he can leave but obviously he doesn’t believe you

cause he’s a great detective

let’s you take what you need from him

but you WILL be having a length discussion about your feelings and your emotional responses when you feel better 

it will be painful

Asmo: 

catches you after you cried

knows instantly because of the red eyes and the puffy lips

pulls you aside and asks how you’re doing/if you’re okay

him asking just makes you cry again 

he knows what to do though 

grabs a cold cloth for you to dab your eyes with and sits with you

puts his arm around you and lets you lean on him and cry

doesn’t try to interrogate you or get you to open up—he knows you will when you’re ready 

gets you water so you can rehydrate

lots and lots of forehead/top of the head kisses 

any sort of gentle touch he can give you he does

and once you’re done crying he’ll help clean you up while you tell him why you were upset

listens very intently too!!

dabbing your eyes with a cold cloth and wiping away your tear stains while reassuring you everything will be okay 

also thinks you’re just the CUTEST crier 

wants to take a picture of your ‘just cried’ face but respects you if you refuse  

Beel: 

most emotionally mature of the group tbh 

comes in to your room to ask you if you have any snacks

you’re curled up in a ball under the covers so he assumes you’re sleeping

he’s about to leave when he hears sniffling 

“y/n, are you awake”

“y-yeah”

can instantly tell you’re upset

he comes and sits at the end of your bed and rubs your back over the blanket 

“what’s going on?”

doesn’t force you to talk about it if you don’t want to

also doesn’t force you to come out from under the covers

instead he talks you down from your ledge and is very gentle with you 

eventually you do come out and he gives you a big hug 

you fall apart in his arms but he holds you until you feel better 

even if you end up falling asleep he stays with you

just wants you to feel better (even though he still really wants those snacks)

Belphie: 

is wandering the halls at night because he slept all day and now he can’t sleep 

hears you crying in your room

is hesitant to go on because he doesn’t know how you’ll react and doesn’t know how to deal with this

paces past your room door at least a dozen times before finally coming in

you’re not even paying attention so you don’t notice he’s there until he sets a gentle hand on your shoulder 

“why are you crying?”

in classic y/n fashion you instantly start crying harder

belphie thinks he upset you by touching you so he moves back

but it only makes it worse

doesn’t know what to do but your crying is lowkey annoying 

is torn between hugging you or letting you be

decides on giving you an awkward half-hug and then leaving

does NOT expect it when you suddenly cling to him and cry into his shirt 

you’re getting it all wet but he doesn’t care

is kinda flustered that you’re so close to him (not that he would ever let it show)

realizes after twenty ish minutes that you’re not crying anymore

you’re not moving at all

you must have fallen asleep from all the crying you’ve done

he can’t just leave you on the floor so obviously he carries you back to bed 

but what if you wake up and think he left you?

it’s probably better if he stays with you…

#obey me oneshot #obey me fic #obey me x you #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #leviathan avatar of envy #leviathan #mammon x you #mammon #satan x you #satan x reader #lucifer #lucifer x reader #asmodeus #beel x you #beel headcanons #belphie headcanons #beel and belphie

[melusinealarice]

in that case… could i request a member of his team reader and house fanfic abt house realising his attraction towards reader isn’t actually just sexual (they’ve been sleeping together for some time) but he’s actually in love with them. so he asks reader on a date, but they think he’s just joking and being an ass. so house has to go on a full on rant about how he developed feelings for reader and they just stand there in shock completely flustered (pls make reader say yes at the end tho 🙏💞) either gn!reader or fem!reader

this is totally ooc for him but whateva im a little delusional 🥰 in my head he’s my silly husband

Def delulu, but arent we all, anyways here ya go

Warnings: cursing, sexual themes,

Fem reader x dr house

You had been sleeping with dr. House for a few months now. It all started when you joined his team, while his rude comments usually repelled people, they attracted you. You found him hilarious as-well as insanely hot. Him being smart was a bonus as-well. He always made sexual comments towards you wich left you flustered more than anything. It all started one night when he was staying late and you came in to find him in a bottle of whiskey. It ended with you leaving his house before he could wake up. After that you both just would have casual sex, thats all it was. You never asked for anything more, even though you desperately wanted it, because you knew him, and he would surely mock you for it.

House’s POV:

I walk out of the on-call room, not even saying anything to y/n, this has just been our routine, she figured words would just make things complicated. I went straight to Wilson. “Wilson.” I said walking in, not bothering to knock. “What is it House?” He said looking up, “i think, I think Im attracted to y/n in more than just a sexual way.” i said, sitting on his couch, “what?” He asked stoping what he was doing. “I think, Im falling in love with her.”

Your POV:

Back to work, you just finished hooking up with House and now you had to go along your day, pretending you aren’t in live with him. No problem.

After the case you all were working on was solved you stayed back in the office while everyone else left. House was there, “so how about I buy you a drink, like a date?” He said, leaning against the door, pinning you to the wall. Shit, he knows, he knows you like him and he is making fun of you for it, who told him?? You scoffed trying to play it off, “ya know just because I like you being an ass doesn’t mean you have to make fun of me.” She said, trying to find away out of the situation. “Me? An ass? Never.” He taunted, you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help how much harder you were breathing, “whatever,” you said, wiggling out of the position you were in. “Im serious.” He said, staring at you, “I thought it was just sexual, i did, and ive tried to pretend it was, but god, you are so much more than that. Ive been falling deeper in love with you every damn second, and I want you, all of you. You are so beautiful and smart, and funny. And I want commitment and I want to take you on a date.” He said, his face was straight, he wasn’t joking. You stood there flustered, “really?” You said still in shock, he walked up to you and took your hands in his, “really.” He said. “Okay, lets go get a drink.” You said smiling up at him.

The end

Ok its kinda short, but im not the best at writing fluff, and it was super hard to do it with House without totally betraying his character.

#greg house x reader #dr greg house #gregory house x reader #greg house #house md

[a-libra-writes]

👉👈 can i get some nicodeme savoy romantic hcs please? Im thinking he and s/o (or crush) probably work together or smth bc that's how i personally see a relationship with him or even Serafine working, but feel free to go about it how you like ^^

Hehe I got a bevy of Nico requests, this one is gonna be some Romantic HC's (like ive got with the others) with additional HCs of working with him on the bottom!

Nico's a pretty easy guy to start flirting with. If there's a handsome fellow or lovely lady who wants his attention, who is he to refuse? He takes it in stride, not really pushing or pursuing too hard - you set the speed. The only time he'll put on the brakes is if you're clearly angling for something serious; Nico is quite upfront about wanting a more casual relationship.

While he's flirting with you, Serafine likes to do the same, even if just to bug him or interrupt. They've always been like this with each other's romantic interests, and have even shared flings. Note if you aren't comfortable with it or aren't interested in women, she picks up quickly and doesn't continue her flirtations. The teasing will be endless, though. No escape.

(Sometimes it actually bugs him out his sister will interrupt right when the flirting gets to something more. He just makes a mental note to pay her back later.)

Nico definitely takes you places that aren't traditional dating spots ... The Marigold room, boxing matches, rowdy and cramped speakeasies he heard about from a cousin of a friend of a friend. While he'll also go places you suggest, these spots are where he seems to be most relaxed and in his element. And if you're masc or present as such, it's much easier to be physically affectionate and open in those underground places.

Also, showing you off is fun! Nico will say as much. Whether you're at his side or in his lap, he has a comfortable yet steady arm around you to make it clear who you're with. He really loves it when people try to flirt anyway, just so he can stop them short with a "They're a little occupied, don't you think?" and give you a kiss right on the neck. He is shameless.

Actually, he thinks it's kind of funny when others flirt with you, and then you immediately shoot them down once he shows up. Huge ego boost, as if he needs any more. Almost makes being late to the date worth it.

And on that note, Nico is a very affectionate guy. He's most likely going to be the bigger person between you two, which he likes. Nico likes picking you up like it's nothing, giving you big squeezing hugs, and carrying you around. It's extra fun when you get flustered and embarrassed. He likes kisses and making out and really doesn't care who sees, though Serafine will toss something at him when it's time to stop and get a room.

Also, he's surprisingly conservative with his energy when he isn't fighting, so he likes lazy days with you, too. Resting his head in your lap, rubbing his cheeks against your's when you wake up together and going back to sleep. He's actually pretty damn content with just snuggling. It's fun when you're smaller because he can just lean and flop on you and you can't do much to move him. Serafine knows if he doesn't come home, he's probably at your place, so if she needs him she drives by there and blares her horn until he comes out. Oh, and if you like his accent, he's definitely playing it up and thinking up silly petnames for you.

(Not a serious relationship tho)

He doesn't like talking about the relationship being "exclusive", just stating that he'd rather not be tied down and he doesn't get why you'd want to complicate things. That's the claim, but it's pretty clear to his sister that he's lost interest in his other dalliances. Nico just shrugs and tells her they aren't as fun. She tries to suss out your feelings on the matter as well, but she'll always be on her brother's side, and she won't convince him to be something he's not.

You'll actually get the big guy talking about his childhood, and the swamp they nearly died in. He likes hearing about your's, especially if it was very different from how he grew up. If you're well-off he likes teasing about you being an "uptown cat" whose messing around with a stray, but it doesn't truly bother him. Nico might even be willing to meet some family members, but never in a formal setting, and he won't try to smooth his rough edges.

He is what he is, and there's really no changing it. Still, it's obvious Nico cares for you dearly, even if he doesn't wax poetic about it or go about it in a traditional way.

If you both work together, that's just fine for him - more time to spend with you, and you both would get closer much faster. Having to rely on someone in a gunfight and trust they won't chicken out or abandon you will do that.

The siblings might prefer having you on their jobs over Mordecai, if you're more prone to "fun" and chaos like they are. Nico likes to show off for you and flirt mid-firefight, and just laughs if you scold him. He's more situationally aware than he appears, though; if you're in danger he's quick to leap to action, just as he would for his sister.

He's probably gotten himself hurt doing that, though he isn't bothered by it. Nico has a remarkably high pain tolerance and would probably walk off a bullet wound if you and his sister didn't stop him. More than once he's showed up to your home bloody, having gone to you before the Marigold doctor. Can you blame him for wanting to be fussed over by you instead of that old man? At least if he's hurt on a job you're both at, you can drive his ass to proper medical care.

Oh, and he's not above giving you a kiss before and after a job. Or during, if there's a quiet moment. Hey, he's still paying attention (probably). Serafine just rolls her eyes and tells him to focus (or you to stop encouraging him), but she plays along if Mordecai is around. The shadowy cat is making disgusted noises and very bluntly telling you two to focus and do those things elsewhere.

Also, work with the Savoy siblings long enough, and you're likely to be inducted into their whole 'Maitre Carrefour' group, and it ... may not be entirely optional. If you're loyal to the siblings, Nico will convince his sister to not bother you so much about it, but it's clear Serafine wants you to be a part of it. The three of you end up being a well-known trio amongst the Marigold gang, which would only make Mordecai more wary and unwilling to be 'friendly' with you three (actually, the blatant PDA probably bothers him more.)

#nico savoy x reader #lackadaisy x reader

[hotchs-big-hands]

can i rant for bit cuz ugh why do all the men on dating apps suck?? i hate how some men really seem to fetishize plus size women. like when you're trying to talk with them and all they wanna talk about is sexual stuff from the get go 😡😤 like hello?!? im more than just my body?? ive never even met you dude. ive got a personality, interests, etc. like do these men think they're doing plus size women a favor by aggressively sexualizing them?

it honestly sucks so much. so in order to cope I've been fantasing about hotch 😏

like imagine dbf!hotch where he overhears you ranting about dating and the men on the apps and later tries to talk to you about it. he'd tell you that they're all boys and you need a man.after hearing how upset and objectified you feel he'd probably decide to actively pursue you. especially if you've had a will they-wont they thing going on.

i just really want him to seduce me and give me a reason to delete all my dating apps

❤️‍🔥

I'm so sorry this is so late but girlie I feel this so hard. I legit gave up on dating apps cuz it was just "let me see how big your tits are" "😜 wanna meet up and fuck?" Even if your profile says you're not looking for that, youre looking to date! I thought at one point I found someone who was chill and wanted to just go on a date but then 🧍 well, we won't get into that. All in all, ppl need to stop fucking fetishising fat ppl. It's dehumanising. Do we want to be desired sexually? Absolutely. But not just that tho. We want to be loved and accepted for who we are and how we look. I really hope that you do eventually find someone who doesn't just see you as a sex object, ❤️‍🔥 anon because you deserve it 💖💖

Dbf!Aaron Hotchner is sooooooooo🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 OOOOOGH

He is fucking PISSED knowing you're being treated like this on dating apps. He thinks it's fucking disgusting that people see you as nothing but a fetish. He fucking adores you. He thinks you're funny, sweet, beautiful, kind and well, of course he thinks you're fucking sexy too. But knowing you're trying to deal with all this shit makes him angry.

So he does whatever he can to show that he's, first of all, into you very much so. But also that hes not after you just for "having a good fuck with a thicc girl". The thought of people treating you as less than human, just sexual organs because of your curves makes him fucking sickened. Man starts to rly make an effort to show he is interested in you. He tries even harder to make you smile and laugh, treats you to stuff, is extremely attentive if you ever vent to him. And he can see it's working, you've got a pep in your step, and you always have that adorable shy smile on your face whenever he talks to you or looks at you. Big fan of fixing a stand of your hair.

One day something changes, you come to him upset and frustrated and you show him the dating app. You vent about it to him all about the disingenuous guys on there only seeing you as a thicc chick to fuck so they can tick it off their bucket list. And so he hugs you close, kissing the top of your head and says he can't stand to see you so upset anymore. But he has something to say that could help.

You pull away, confused. And he's looking at you with so much tenderness your heart tightens. He smiles, brushing a stray tear from your cheek.

"Sweetheart, those stupid boys don't know what they're doing. They don't know how to treat a woman, how to make her feel loved and cared for and seen as more than just their body type. I... I want to know if you'll have me. Accept me to show you how you deserve to be treated."

You can barely string words together, it's cute. But he sees more tears again and he panics, thinking he's gone too far.

"I'm sorry, this was not appropriate. I-"

"Yes.. I- yes, I want you." You interrupt him. It makes him pause, staring at you for a moment as he studies your expression. You glance away, feeling shy again. "I only started using dating apps because I didn't think I'd ever get to be with you, Aaron..."

Oh, oh sweetheart. His heart is soaring and he pulls you close for a tight hug, swaying you gently.

"Sweetheart, you have me. I'm yours."

Needless to say you freed up a lotttttt of space on your phone getting rid of all the dating apps 🥰 plenty of storage for the incoming pics you and Aaron will take together from this point forward.

#❤️‍🔥 anon #aaron hotchner x reader #💌 ah asks

[chronocrump]

Hello Chronocrump, I recently stumbled upon your art the other day, and I couldn't stop staring at your gallery.. It makes me realize there is so much thats lacking from my art that I really want to improve on. I felt desperate to contact you, but wasn't sure if it would be rude. I wanted to try to ask you, how do you approach drawing? Do you structure it first, or start with a gesture drawing? Focus on the form or perspective first? Etc My other question might seem strange, but I wanted to ask how do you hold your pencil? Ive learned that different pencil grips can drastically change the quality of someone's art. Thank you for your time. I'm sorry if my message is to long, or you don't want to respond back. I wanted to atleast try, but also let you know that your work has been very inspiring for me to keep trying.

I'm glad to answer your questions, it's seriously no problem. I wanna start by telling you how amazed I was when I checked your profile to see your work. I know you have a huge lack of confidence in it, but your art is genuinely beautiful, and frankly, looking at it, I found it hard to believe that you would be asking me for advice...from my perspective, you're way ahead of me. You're certainly better with color; you might notice I really only post sketches lol. I really don't want to dismiss or downplay your feelings about it, but I have to let you know how I felt looking at it. To me it seems like your brain is telling you your art isn't good enough when it very, very much is.

Anyway, enough gushing from me lol. On to your questions.

Usually when starting a drawing, I very loosely and lightly sketch the overall form of the pose I wanna do. Very rough basic shapes/forms to get everything in its right place before I start really drawing it with confident lines. Even then, all the lines are subject to change; nothing is sacred. To be honest tho, I usually mess up the proportions and have to fix them a bit lol. I try to sketch cleanly and concisely, meaning I try not to draw a lot of lines in a spot that could really be done with just one or two. I'm not super strict on that tho, at the end of the day while I try to draw efficiently, I also want to draw comfortably. So with something like a big circle for example, I'll draw that pretty sketchy. In terms of perspective, I'm trying to get better at it, but when considering how I want to use it in a drawing, it's part of the initial image or idea I have in my head, so I lay it out from the beginning. I do also draw structure lines on the face, just a simple cross to plan where the center of the face will be. Lately I've also tried taking more pictures of myself for pose reference and it works well.

Most of my practice comes from studying my favorite artists and trying to emulate the specific ways they structure their drawings. I should actually be doing dedicated practice sessions with that, but I digress. Recently I've been trying to practice from photos first thing in the morning, tho I'm finding it hard to commit to doing it daily. I just go on pinterest and find cool poses, then draw them, trying to get down the basic shapes and prominent features more than focusing on minute details. I've posted some of these practice sketches on here but there's a few more on my twitter if you wanna see what I'm talking about.

In terms of my pencil grip, I'm not sure...since I was little, I've always had an unusual grip. Looking it up, I guess it's like the "dynamic quadrupod" grip, but with my forefinger farther back. Really the most I try to do is draw less with my wrist and more with my forearm. Some say you should "draw from the shoulder", and that sounds right...I guess it's all about avoiding straining your wrist and getting carpal tunnel lol.

Anyway, I'm flattered that you would ask me for advice. To be honest, it makes me feel like I should have more confidence in my own art. And you should too! I can say that, objectively, your art is very good. I hope my advice was actually helpful and not generic stuff you've heard before lol. Good luck in your art journey.

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

What theories do you got for the end of season 2?

hii 🫶🏾

sorry i’m so late with this. i haven't been online too much lately. So theories??? man i’m not really engaging with much speculation as far as S2 goes. mainly bc i don’t think i have the ideas that will happen how my mind is formulating them. also bc they would be based off of nothing but what ive seen said about the books and vibes i got from S1 lmao. i’m so sorry if i disappoint you my ideas. here’s what i hope…

S2 will focus on loumand in the past and in the present maybe Armand might get to contribute to the telling of things. I’m very fucking excited for loumand. Idk how to not lose my mind about this! it’ll be interesting to me if there’s points of contention between how louis remembers something and how he does. what happened to Claudia and how coming out in this contention would be really fun to watch. “the love of my life” seems to be something that’s gonna come undone next season. seeing how they came together. seeing what makes their relationship tick. seeing the cracks in what their dynamic is now. seeing how Daniel’s tendency to be provocative and rude when he feels endangered will impact things or how it will shift now that he knows Rashid is actually Armand—now that he realizes he’s been talking to an even stronger vampire crazy out the side of his neck. and he’s greatly out numbered rn. i want to see if Daniel tries to run and leave and how they might convince him to stay or if he decides to stay what lends to that decision. the book? answers that he wants? im sure it’ll be many things.

I wonder if they will put off the hows of how Lestat finds his way to Paris since no one but him would really have all that information. I think with seeing Sam and Assad hanging out off set there will be some Armand/Lestat scene to look forward too. they’re gonna fight and its gonna be nasty and full of tension and armand longing for lestat while lestat longs for louis and he’s [lestat] gonna get that look in his eye were he agrees to something he know damn well he shouldnt in the name of saving louis. its gonna be delicious. Im excited to see that.

I hope we only really get hints of the devil’s minion stuff and i hope a good chunk of most of it happens in the modern day so they can have lots to fill coming seasons with. i want S2 to be more about loumand anyways. THO i do want them to put the fear of the devil into that man. I want him to really come to terms with what the fuck situation he’s in and I want Louis and Armand to make him feel it for real. I want the cracks in his dynamic with them and his supposed superior morality to start to show.

I think the situation with Louis might make Claudia desperate for another connection by the time it’s clear Louis is stuck in the past and longing for Lestat. Her hatred for him i think is soemthing we’ll see develop in it’s fullness. i hope she’s just as petty as she’s been. there wa a post about her playing piano and playing bach even tho she knows it torment him. i love that post. i wish i had it in me to find it. that post is genius. but yeah so i think she’d even accept the mother like way Madeleine treats her even tho she’s been looking to be treated like an equal bc anything is better than where they find themselves in terms of being stuck together after all thats happened and the spector of him choking her and lestat being spared because of him always looming over them. i think that adds to the sheer sadness of her situation. the living truth that yeah lestat is alive and louis would have him even now. and then the realization that he would also have armand who wants her dead clearly. i think someone who seems to “see her” would be preferable. but bc i know this is the painshow i cant say that they’re dynamic won’t be hard to watch. i think it will. I think madeleine will be working out her own trauma in losing her family on Claudia and it’ll be really clear that Claudia will always be choosing the lesser of an evil. i think they’ll play with our minds and hearts about what they could be, but ultimately they’re doomed and she’ll still wind up dead. and apparently so does madeleine even after being turned soo.. yeah i’m about to be heart shattered behind claudia.

sorry if these are disappointing. but yeah that’s as far as i’ve got. tho i’m sure i’ll think of something else and make a post about it. but i havent really wanted to speculate too much on S2 beyond being horny about loumand. maybe we’ll see their dungeon!

#iwtv #s2 speculations #louis de pointe du lac #armand #claudia #lestat de lioncourt #madeleine

[idyllic-affections]

🌻 its cruel of anyone to push someone away from their own culture just cuz they dont fit the "standards" or whatever other shit 💔 ohhh u dont know the language— stfu first of all learning a language is hard. im bilingual and its hard for ME to learn any other language. i had german and spanish in school and i simply could not learn any of them and same goes for any other language i tried to learn on my own!! i learned nothing in the end even tho ive been learning english since first primary, meaning i already should have some experience in learning a new language. but i dont. and second of all no one should ever demand proof from anyone that they are a part of this culture or whatever like!!

it’s not only annoying but also fucked up that people have the sheer audacity to set stupid requirements for OTHER PEOPLE'S identity. one's identity can be so hard and sensitive of a topic and having someone try to police u in this matter, try to tell u that no sorry u dont know the language/culture so u cant call urself that— i genuinely have no respect for people who act like this

and third of all idk man if someone came to me and said "hi i want to learn more about poland and the culture because i have polish family" (because suurprise!! im polish too!!!!) id be more than happy to tell them everything i know. even if i might not be the best knowledge source AHAJSJDKDK they dont know polish? or anything abt poland?? they just learned their family is polish??? it simply doesnt matter this person wants to learn more about themselves and im more than happy to cheer on them and hope that theyll learn everything they want. and that theyll never feel excluded out of something they deserve to have place in

this got a little long but as u can tell i got very passionate about this topic 😭😭😭 it annoys me so hard how unhuman some people can be

SOO TRUE it's so invalidating ESPECIALLYYYYY when it's always other latino or hispanic people telling me. bro please. i am doing my best here 🙏🙏

i tried for years to learn spanish and it NEVER clicked in my brain. i know basic spanish and basic french (i had to take a foreign language class a few years back so i took french 1) that's it. Please. learning a language takes so much practice and patience and the issue with learning spanish is that my pronounciation will inherently be more "white" because erm. yeahh. english is the only language i've ever spoken fluently. and for some reason, there are many native spanish speakers think it's funny to make fun of mispronounciations? so now i'm scared to practice because of that. 🫶 it's not cute or funny and it's never been in intended an affectionate way. but i am also mentally ill and neurodivergent so that probably doesn't help AJKSFBJSLSHNFM idk man but it is NOT "all in good fun" it's EMBARRASSING!!!!!

IT'S GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATING why should i have to prove my ancestry to you? like. first of all that's really none of your business and second of all i literally do not have to prove anything?!?!?!?! no-one does?!?!?!?! no-one is somehow any less of their heritage simply because they don't know much about it. literally. it is so upsetting why can we not just let people live peacefully fr.

SOOO REALL i need to ask about it again because my maternal family is generally very open about this kind of thing, and it's easy to communicate with them because there is no language barrier between us. i would love to know more about myself. because my culture is something i deserve to have a part in, you know? it's literally in my blood. it is something i always was and always will be, and i feel like i have a right to want to learn about it.

nooo it's okay!!!! i completely get it. i feel like it's becoming very common for people to be less and less human. and it makes sense, given... you know. politics and everything lately. not to be political /lh but there is just a little too much hate being spread and i dislike that so much. many people have forgotten how to be kind and it's just???? very sad and upsetting.

#aphelion replies: 🌻 anon 🌸

[notcolleen]

coming out of my self induced isolation to rant because as much as i would like to exist to no one……i unfortunately have to work to live……and work unfortunately involves other people….one of those people unfortunately being an incredibly narcissistic boss (and i try very hard not to throw the psych buzzwords around lightly/am ❌not❌ diagnosing anyone but ANYWAY keep reading if u want to know the mundane details of workplace drama somehow centered around a game of duck duck goose???

[[MORE]]

so i work with kindergarteners and there is a group of ~10 boys rn who are straight up out of control wild rn….like wrestling, punching, shoving, headlocks, throwing toys, name calling, lying, blatantly saying no to teachers, generally causing mayhem for everyone

and nothing has worked to manage behaviors — we have to keep certain kids separate but at this point, with only 4 classrooms and ~60 kids, u just ….can’t do that with everyone lol so it’s just a matter of damage control/harm reduction rn

but the day after halloween is historically Extra Bad and i agreed to stay late bc we were down a teacher and we offer aftercare so it was basically those 10 boys plus a few other kids running around while i tried to make sure no one cracked their head open. but literally every two seconds i had to tell kids to separate/take a seat/take their hands off each other.

so when one kids dad comes to pick him up, he’s sobbing in a corner bc he says the other kids wouldn’t let him be the “Ducker” during duck duck goose, and ive been checking on him every few minutes and asking him if he wanted to talk or if he needed space, but he said he needed space. apparently he is usually a main issue during the aftercare hours

but the the dad gets super upset and says he’s been unhappy with the aggression seen the last couple days, he asks for my name (never a good sign) and says that someone is going to get hurt if we don’t do something. i can’t even disagree with him but i let him know im trying and i’ve been separating the group and having them sit and it’s an ongoing issue we are working on.

he leaves with “bye colleen, i will be calling the school tomorrow” (a terrifying sentence even tho technically i work in a church rn 👀)

SO im anxious abt that bc again, the safety is a valid concern even though he is not an objective person bc his son is involved — literally the worst thing in working with kids is having parents upset and escalating the issue

so after i clock out, i email my boss and first ask her if we can check in tomorrow morning abt my safety concerns/brainstorm abt possible solutions. i also said that this parent said he would be calling in the morning but that I would explain the situation in more detail further tomorrow when we talk.

SO she comes up to my classroom and says “tell me what happened with [student name]” and explained that he was upset about duck duck goose, but that when his dad was unhappy with what he’s been seeing recently at pick up. i tried to explain further what i’ve seen and she says “it was the day after halloween, stick to what happened with [student name]” so once i explained again she left

so then i go down to the office to make copies except on my way there i hear her very loudly reading the email i sent her word for word to someone (in a mocking tone lol) ….and at that point i freeze bc like….do i still go in? do i pretend i don’t hear this happening??? i stood there for a little and she went on to basically say “this email doesn’t tell me anything, i thought someone was hurt but it was all about a game of duck duck goose?? she’s overstepping her boundaries, etc etc)

and i was already almost at her door which was wide open for anyone to hear and ended up just going and saying “im going to stop you both right now because i could hear you talking really loudly about me from the hallway and id appreciate it if you could stop”

and she instantly starts ⚠️screaming⚠️ at me, like “yes i was talking about you because you didn’t say anything in this email, i don’t know what you think you were doing, you don’t work at aftercare it’s not your place!!”

and at that point im trying to do damage control and say repeatedly “im sorry if i didn’t articulate myself properly” “i apologize if i didn’t handle the situation correctly” “i apologize” “i apologize” — i tried to explain that i was only giving her a warning that she might get a call, i wanted to explain more in person, and it wasn’t just abt a game of duck duck goose lol it was a matter of safety

so we go back and forth for awhile, im flustered/angry to the point of tears while still trying to articulate my thoughts (i angry cry and it sucks) and everything i try to say she is shutting down

genuinely the conversation evolved into “it’s never been that much of an issue except yesterday when you were there” (yes it has!!!)

“then you are saying the issue is me, and i want to know that so i know what to work on” even though i know the problem is not me!!! i don’t know a lot and i don’t have faith in my abilities anywhere else but i know that i am good at this job!!!

the conversation ended more unresolved than it started and i had to go back to a room of kids with that on my mind all day and im just frustrated bc this is a woman that last friday told me i was doing an amazing job and that was so glad i was back and was so excited so what i was doing with the kids — but any perceived threat to her ego or criticism, justified or not, and it all comes crashing down

and i know this, i sometimes get too comfortable or forget and share personal things or get sucked into the office culture here but really, i need to maintain boundaries; i plan on clocking in at 8 (not coming in at 7:45 like i have been in case anyone needs help!!!) and clocking out at 4 (not staying late to help out at aftercare because while i thought that was helping, i guess it was ~not my role). i will not feel guilty for eating my lunch outside and staying tf out of the office. i will not provide any information abt my personal life to my boss bc that information is not safe with her. this is a job and that is it.

tldr: it just really fucking sucks to walk in on ppl talking about you and it’s also absolutely 100% a family trigger lol

[sukugo]

Yeah I wasn't sure if you're okay with leaks and spoilers so I tried to be vague. It's alright, I'll wait till you're seen the chapter! Do you typically read the official translation on Sundays/Mondays or fantranslations that come out 1-2 days after the leaks? There's another thing I noticed actually, I'd like to think that it proved my theory right? I'll save that for later as well.

Oh yes please read The Path To Insanity, on AO3! I highly recommend it. It's so good to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about it for few days lol.

Hmm I think so, most of us have been suffering after some Bad Shit™ happened and I think you'll be affected too. Sending you positive vibes in advance! It's good that you're actively avoiding leaks because the fandom is literally imploding rn, it's chaos everywhere. Though surprisingly it didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. I think it's due to the fact that I'm too busy being conflicted at how it was executed and stressed over how future chapters would turn out so I don't really have the capacity for sadness atm.

I wonder what you'll think after you've read it. Like personally I found it pretty haphazard and laughable lmao. It just feels strange and surreal in a bad way, maybe Gege meant to set tone like this on purpose? Idk. This chapter has a vastly different vibe from the rest of the manga to me so I'm trying to refrain myself from being reactionary and impulsive like others. I'll wait for Public Enemy #1 (Gege) to continue the story instead lol, based on some context clues there's still a slight chance that this might be just another sick and twisted joke from that demonic cat. Hopefully. I wanna beat his ass though he'd better sleep with one eye open

i usually just read the chapter on sundays when it comes out (which is kinda funny bc i DO read the fan trans too haha). but im gonna be honest, im considering reading the scanlation earlier this time agdkdhskd. i'll see what i do dgfdgd

but well. even tho i havent seen the leaks i do know What Happens (there's quite literally no way to not know, it's everywhere). bc oh boy is it imploding. yesterday i decided to take a small peek into twitter and it was. on fire. i closed it immediately, i was not gonna deal with all that csjdhdjd. but my tumblr's been pretty peaceful! it's so easy to avoid things here if u have the tags filtered, tho even then, i just haven't gotten so much of it on my dash anyways

and about the last thing u say, from the little things i came across, i did see that there were mixed feelings about the chapter, but as i haven't actually seen the leaks i can't really comment. so yeah ill come back to give u a proper reply after ive read the chapter!! :D

AS FOR THE PATH TO INSANITY I STARTED READING IT YESTERDAY ACDJHDJSH. ive only read 2 chs but GDJDH EXTRA BRATTY TEEN GOJO WITH SUKUNA!!!!! lately I've just been so into specifically that, so yeah im enjoying it <3333

#f.ask #but yeah anon i am verymuch aware of what happens. thank u for the positive vibes im really gonna need them 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #truth is even yesterday. i was out of it. sure i haven't seen the leaks but just knowing that it happens. had me so gloomy and sad #i was on the verge of crying so many times just thinking about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i stopped myself bc i decided to have a proper crying #session when i actually read it agdkdhsjfhjd #part of me starting to read TPTI was literally to distract myself and not think about 236 #bc even if i try not to. i just can't stop thinking about it #jjk leaks #jjk

[dontcrybecauseitsoverr]

update

Im about to graduate omggg, as usual, no one knows about this tumblr in my life, so that’s cool. Kaylee can know idc lol. But, somethings in  my life just don’t add up. I have a gf who I do love, and adore and all of this, but man our communication sucks, on her end, she just doesn’t text me or snap me for hours sometimes… for no reason lol, but snap score goes up but she doesn’t reply? Hurts a bit, I don’t feel like a priority in her life, she isn’t open with me about things, I have to fight to get answers out of her, and she just doesn’t tell me stuff. We’ve been dating for 5 months! Like what! Lol! I just don’t get it.so like what do i do...were not going to see each other for the entire summer. this is my longest relationship, as yall know they dont go too hot lololol. so many posts on here about gf’s and shit, i would be ruined if anyone found this, but this name is not associated to anything else of mine, unless someone like reverse searched the image, who knows. this is just my thoughts as they are thought of on paper, im sitting here listening to taylor swift, deciding about big things in my life. im going to maine for the summer month and a half or so, either i can have all the sex up there with my ex, a threesome, my bff cas who ive all fucked before lol, so thats funny. BUT, 3 months without her :L i wont even be able to see her at allll her dads a dick. i swear to god if we aren’t able to FT like 1-2 times a week, that is really gonna take a hit. theres no reason to not be able to ft me with airpods in, and all this shit, like come onnnnn do u really not want to talk to me. i just feel like this is going to end up in a text break up, i really dont want it. but shes stuck with me and my quirks and issues for 5 months! thats a long time! so who knows, i want it to work but it just may get so unberable at some point, im gona talk with her tho at least. also i just was reading up about how the brain processes near death experiences, and how wack the gamma rays are or something. and i recalled the time in senior year, when my friend was driving and making a turn into school across a busy road. (two years later a family of 4 got killed in the crash, actually by someone i knew in the dmv auto club, he went to jail, my friends and i did the math on the car crash - guy was going 125 mph when he hit them. 1 girl survived out of the family of 4. terrible) but, a car was really going fast coming towards us, and i thought it was gonna clip us, and i was in the backseat, i swear i had a marvel intro style play in front of my eyes, just flashing through life events, i couldnt even see the car coming per say, just the images that i cared about most in my life. and then we passed...and it was like nothing happened. this got off topic, but so do all my other posts. i just dont know what to do. she failed out of her student teaching this semester, and i felt i was at cause, but i dont think so. she said her mom was very upset with her, after the school stuff, and failing the driving test. but all she does all day is sit and watch tvvvvvv mannnnnn, ive tried so hard to get her to do things, and be productive and get her out of the dorm because i know what that life is like, failing out, and having no prospect, because ive been there so many times. ive been to 4 colleges! and she just doesn’t want to involve me, or just seems like she cares about me. i want it to work, i mean god, what breaking up for a month and a half just for a crazy sex summer? seems like an issue to meee lolol. not really looking forward to maine, but gotta do whatcha gotta do. fucking hell i graduate in 10 days what the hell its taken so many years im just numb to it i feel, everyone else cares way more than i do, and its gonna be a shame to try and express happiness and joy when im more just like thank god lol. anyway thats my late night talk i guess, lol goodnight?

[disco-cola]

dude my era depression is so bad again at the moment the only thing that would help me is literally someone finally inventing a time machine and then offer like a 30 day free trial in which i could choose to just stay or come back to today completely disillusioned which would at least end my era struggles but otherwise at this point idk what to do it doesnt help to just dress that way and decorate my house that way and listen to the music when it is srsly impossible to ever have my dream life i would have wanted to be in a band or a tour manager or a music journalist or a radio host or vj for mtv when they were still cool and if all that failed i could have at least tried to get a hot boyfriend in a rock band whose music i love and go on tour with them and just hang around the scene somehow and i know i technically could do all of that today but honestly i think doing that would make my era struggles even worse bc i would just compare it to what it was like in the 70s 80s or 90s and what ive read in countless books and articles and even fucking personal comments under youtube videos of people who lived through it (i kinda feel the only people writing about how bad those times were are the ones that are even younger than me who werent there either like as if today is that much better with politics and laws that only go backwards but most peoples accounts of their youth in that time end with i would go back and i miss it) and just still not be happy also i just cant imagine being in or around the music business now with fuckin social media and the internet (i know the internets been around at least in the 90s and was already more accessible then but obvs still not like today) like this and just not being able to forget "these arent actually my favorite bands and im just compensating" would still make me unhappy and i know it might have been very hard as a woman in the 70s and probably 80s too (even tho many women entered the work force back then and started working in fields that used to be dominated by men) and i could not have done what chris o'dell did (she was a personal assistant at the beatles apple in london in the late 60s and then became a tour manager in the states in the 70s for the stones, santana, bob dylan, elo, queen and more...) or not have been someone like debbie harry or stevie nicks or joan jett but i could´ve tried and otherwise could have at least found an escape of a boring hard working class life by going to shows of the bands i love (when they were in their prime, not them being old and some of the og lineup already gone and ticket prices worth a months rent). being around people who are into the same stuff as me because its just whats popular. i cant do that now. i wish i had at least been around and in my 20s for the late 80s and early 90s grunge and metal and hardcore scene bc that at least would have been something new and exciting and even as a woman you could find work and establish a position in the music business (like vanessa warwick, julia valet, both julie browns and karyn bryant did at mtv). i also dont know what anybody could tell me to make it better. the only thing that helps me at this point is people saying they feel the same bc it makes you feel less alone and isolated :/

#rant #im literally sorry for being so negative #but atm it randomly got so bad again and ive had such phases again and again in the past 10 years but every one felt like the end #like i just wanna give up #i have barely eaten in 2 days bc im literally too depressed rip #i remember like 5 or 6 years ago i tried telling a therapist about it and she just didnt say anything to this even tho its my main problem #like most people just do not / CAN not understand it

[rakimaiirisa]

Saw @thepirateandtheshieldmaiden do this and I wanted to do it too!Anyway, this was fun to do and while I wont tag anyone to do this, feel free to tag me so I can see!!

25 facts About Me

I go by Rina and/or Raki on here.

2. I am a constant poster and reblogger for the wolf twins and Danse on here. I'm obsessed with them 😅❤

3. fictional characters have kept me going and Danse and the twins literally saved me during a period of time that I struggled to find the reason to stay.

4. Ive been playing skyrim for 3 years now and still have not have been bored of it. Ive tried to get into other games but I end up missing skyrim and go back.

5. I have a hard time making friends in RL so my internet friends mean alot to me. I love to make new friends on here ❤

6. I try to stay out of fandom drama especially in the tesblr community. I've blocked most of the tesblr drama queens and am just looking to enjoy my friends and their ocs and post about mine and the twins on here.

7. Arisa and Asbjorn mean everything to me and I love to share stuff about them when the mood hits :)

8. I'm anxious as fk in rl so tumblr is my escape when im not lost in skyrim.

9. I like to write tho lately I haven't gotten the urge. I still consider myself a writer, even if its not the best.

10. I own a cute german shephard pup named Vegas. Fun fact about her is that I named her after fallout new vegas 😂

11. I'm into different sorts of music and will often listen to the same songs for hours as I play my game.

12. I have several side blogs as Ive jumped from blog to blog due to my anxiety. Rakimaiirisa is my last one tho and one I keep active.

13. 2 of my Farkas photos was featured on Divent Arts pininterest! I thought that was pretty neat tbh.

14. I'm 5'5 in rl and that's how tall I head-cannon Arisa. Vilkas in my head-cannon is 6'1 . She loves her tall nord❤

15. I'm shy so I often dont reach out first to talk to people on here but I do love to interact when people reach out to me.

16. I speed read so i sometimes miss the point of asks I get. I will try to do better at slowing down tho.

17. I'm mostly a night person so alot of times I tend to post late. I dont sleep too well tbh.

18. I love fall weather and Halloween! Cant wait for spooky time 🎃

19. Ive been on tumblr for 7 years now :)

20. I love clothes but I dont dress up. Arisa, on the other hand, I will dress up to the nines because I love the pretty clothes modderes have made.

21. I like to people watch ingame. I dunno, I am fascinated by the vanilla Ai and additional aI mods that are out there. I am currently using AI overhaul sse.

22. I find certain game voices soothing. For me, Vilkas's voice is comforting as hell. Especially when he is romanced ❤ Farkas, Asbjorn and Danse are comforting as well and I always look forward to hearing them.

23. I love skyrim and fallout art. Wish I could draw but for now Im satisfied with commissioning art of the twins and my ocs.

24. Love to listen to romance songs and think of my otps ❤

25. I can be obsessive about things (skyrim, the wolf twins, danse, my ocs, ) at times 😅

#blog rambles #this was fun ☺☺

[existingispetty]

Hi! Can i request a matchup with a Bsd and Assassination classroom male? Im a female , INTP, capricorn sun and aries moon, capricorn rising, Initially im very quite and serious but when we get to know each well enough i can be talkative playful and energetic. I get excited easily and ive been told that im very gullible and don't doubt anything im told (not street smart). Im very straight forward but when it comes to what im thinking and i get embarrassed easily and tsundere is something i get called a lot too .

I just have a hard time being vulnerable cuz i wanna come off as strong and reliable even tho I am prone to being careless and naive but i love being someone my friends and family can rely on and i try to be a good listener even if i suck at verbalizing things myself. I act tough but secretly want to be taken care of and be spoiled (not that ill ever admit it). Im passionate about my job and hobbies which include drawing or writing.

Likes - Food, music, walks, watching sports, people who are good listeners bc usually im the one who listens most of the time when my friends ralk so its nice be listened to as well.

Dislike- clingy people, indecisiveness, people who are moody or way too emotionally dependent , instability, gray relationships, tardiness.

Thank you 💕

Hello! Thank y oh for the ask! I apologize for the wait! I’ve been both very tired and busy lately. I hope you enjoy.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Your matchup is…

Doppo Kunikida 

Kunikida can be a little naive when you’re a persuasive person.  Kunikida isn’t the most talkative he is much more of a listener that adds in his own comments every once and a while.  Kunikida isn’t exactly a  tsundere but he gets flustered very easily and he tries to hide it.

We’ve seen the entire agency put their trust in Kunikida because of how reliable he is.   Kunikida is very patient about not only his morals but his hobbies as well. As we all know Kunkida is a big writer. Kunikida is anything but clingy, he’s not cold he just would rather you be independent. Kunikida is only tardy when Dazai hold him back forcibly. 

Tadaomi Karasuma

Karasuma appears intimidating and has a terrible sense of humor but he’s much softer once you get to know him. Karasuma is brutally honest… he also gets flustered way too easily but he’s decent at containing it. 

Karasuma has learned to hide his emotions for his occupation so you won’t see him emotional very often. Karasuma struggles to communicate his emotions a lot. Karasuma dosent have many hobbies but there hobbies he does have he does them very often.  

Karasuma loves activity being active makes him feel productive. Karasuma isn’t the best at conversations so listening is preferred. Karasuma has never been the type to depend on others. He may seem grumpy 24/7 but he just isn’t very good at displaying how he feels. Tardiness isn’t a word is Karasumas mind. He is always on time. 

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungou stay dogs matchup #assassination classroom #assasination classroom matchup #matchup

[star-ocean-peahen]

babe. that sounds HORRIFIC oh my god please go see a doctor

if it helps, I have some minor scoliosis that is sorta self corrected but its still shaped like an S and I cant really change that, so I have to deal with the compression in my sides. Physical therapy only helps so much for the pain, but its sorta supposed to stop it from getting worse. I cant be sure if you have scoliosis, but theres a test you can ask your chiropractor to do, sometimes the school nurse does it, that involves bending to touch your toes, knees locked, and they usually watch for one shoulder being held higher over the other, if that makes sense. Chiropractors dont really like working on patients with scoliosis, since it can be a liability for them and they dont wanna make you worse, but they can definitely point you in the right direction. Even if you dont have scoliosis, if you have concerns, its always better to be safe than sorry.

I cant really be much help with managing pain through meds, but if you are suffering, take them. I'd be careful of how much tylenol you take tho, something about the liver. Other than that, I'd try hot baths and epsom salts, they really help (i really like the lavender scented kind) and heating pads are a must. I've heard ice be used to help, but it's only made my muscles tighten up and spasm more, but it might be worth a try. I'd also recommend a bunch of anti-inflamitory foods and soothing teas. I really like the sleepytimes for when its late but youre still in Awake Mode- most times, not sleeping just makes the pain worse. I really like the honey-lemon and mint ones. It might sound redundant, but they're caffeine free too

sorry for the blocks of text just. please protect you back, it sounds awful </3

You know I started reading this and tried to think of ways to say it's not really that bad but then i thought harder and realized it actually is that bad hh

anyway im just sitting here holding this ask like mmhh?? its so sweet and kind??

i just—this is so nice thank you so much

uhm okay about the actual things you said: I was starting to develop scoliosis a few years ago (hereditary) and I was just exhausted all the time so I was slouching constantly and messing up my back, but I believe the scoliosis at least was rectified by chiropractic work before it could become a problem.

The exhaustion thing has continued though, which means it's really hard to break my body out of the habit of slouching (tho ive been doing WAY better with that nwo) and build up the muscles I need to keep myself upright.

It's never been this bad before, but I'm realizing now that it's been.....pretty bad and I've just been ignoring it and got used to it, so I think you're right and I need to do something about it <3

ohno just now realizing how my strategy for taking care of myself is 'ignore it until it can't be ignored anymore' and while that may be necessary due to circumstance it most certainly is not healthy well good thing i actually have an appointment with my doctor on friday

Your paragraph with the advice is genuinely.......really nice to read for some reason? Like it feels like a warm hug. and mmmm lavender scented epsom salts that sounds absolutely lovely.

also TEA BUDDIES I LOVE MINT TEA AND LEMON-HONEY

#i think ill start with floor time #and maybe there'll be time to have an epsom salt bath later? that sounds like heaven honestly. #also i kinda really want to have a late night tea party with you #and im sorry to hear you deal with this too :( it really sucks #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh for real though i think this is actually changing the way i think about being in pain #i didnt even realize #thank you so much <3333333333333333333333333333 #spam in the slammer #lassie's askies #nice things to remember

[voidsumbrella]

ive probably posted abt this before but part of the reason haven's arc is set in the 90s (instead of the ambiguous mid-late 2010s i usually go for, because i'm less stressed about getting details wrong) is so i don't have to navigate around the very specific ways that unrestricted access to the internet would have impacted his brain.

like i guess it's possible he would have remained offline, but i think the lure of social interaction that doesn't involve leaving his room or having people looking at him or respond quickly and correctly would have been Very Very powerful esp when he was a teen.

and on one hand that would have done wonders for his perpetual struggle with isolation- even if he didn't openly talk about his specific problems, knowing that he wasn't completely alone in being Mentally Ill™ would be a massive relief! no one would associate him with his siblings if he didn't post any personal details, which he wouldn't, so he could talk to people without the threat of them asking him to regurgitate his trauma on the spot! he could frantically google shit he was anxious about instead of spinning it his head unanswered for a billion years.

however due to authorial bias the nature of who he is as a person, i kind of think this would land him on tumblr, which would give him like 15 new disorders.

one of biggest character flaws is that he's Spineless- he's very much the sort of person who will compulsively agree with whoever is talking to him. the most pushback he'll give is nervous laughter until he can excuse himself, no matter the topic, and he's easily swayed by a confidently presented argument on anything he isn't familiar with, which is (in his view) most things. this coupled with his overwhelming fear that his existence is causing harm would cause him to just have an ethical panic attack every time a new discourse breaks out.

he might gain a minor following for posting about horror movies Literally No One Has Heard Of, and posting vhs rips of stuff he finds in thrift stores if it doesn't appear to exist online, on his fourth account where he makes very few personal posts, because he nuked his last three; first account he saw a post about how responding to any interpersonal conflict with threatening to kill yourself is kind of shitty, and he thought might be about him¹ and deactivated; two of his mutuals on his second account had a falling out and and he tried to express sympathy for both of them and it went poorly; third account he posted an Extremely Carefully Cropped selfie showing off his tshirt that kicked off discourse in the notes when someone reblogged it with trigger warnings over his appearance²; this was before you could turn off reblogs, so he logged out and never got the willpower to log back in, so he just remade³.

1 - it wasn't 2 - specifically body horror for his self harm scarring and proana/thinspo because he's severely underweight; he got a lot of defense and sweet messages, which was kind of nice, but the whole thing was a pretty hard blow to his already miserably bad self image. he also got accused of lying about not having an eating disorder, which was just weird. he'd love to gain weight- his problem is that he's too depressed to eat regularly. why the hell would he lie about that. what. 3 - this led to some other people assuming he'd killed himself and starting off a whole shitshow about that, but he missed that entirely, which was probably for the best.

also one of his suicide attempts failed because he tied both the knot securing it to the ceiling and the noose itself wrong, so they both let go pretty quickly; if he'd been able to easily look up instructions he could have done a lot more damage than the his canonical minor concussion from bonking his head on his nightstand on the way down. (tho due to Plot Reasons he still wouldn't have died.)

#real life mango #suicide discussion under cut #as well as a bunch of other general depression talk #oc: haven

[what-if-nct]

ohmygod 00s beach barbie is so cute im born in like the mid 00s so i always wished i could live in the same era as a teen?! also congrats on the new clothes there is no better joy than that truly

also also also a chris poster next to a johnny one, they are giving husbands!!

yeah ive been good, just going through a friendship breakup that is actually healthy for me, sometimes i just feel like a bad person for doing so tho lmao but yeah, also i got a new sketchbook so i guess i'll be in my picasso era for some time now

lastly please whenever you go for the barbie movie you need to describe your fit i will be waiting for that im so excited and happy for you mwaaaah 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

-venus

I wish I was a teen in the early 2000s too. I was one in the late 2000s\2010s. So I was just a kid in the early 00s so I only remember like Barbies and cartoons and all the random toys that came out. And specifically remember purple and green ketchup. I tried both. I know being a teen or young adult at the time was totally different. I looked up to Paris Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith as a child. I shouldn't have, but I adored them. Yes! My husbands! I am so proud of you for doing something that would benefit you and your mental wellbeing. You shouldn't feel bad, I understand it's so hard to end a friendship and you didn't want to hurt their feelings but it's the best thing you could do for yourself. It's really important to put yourself first just to maintain your sanity and wellbeing. You are not a bad person at all. I hope it sparks all the creativity and you create beautiful art on it. Of course I will. I'll most likely post a picture on Instagram. So I'll link it. Thank you I'm so excited the movie looks so good. And I really love Margot Robbie as Barbie. I love how she takes on roles. I said Taylor Swift would make a good Barbie but I think everyone would only see Taylor Swift and not Barbie. Or Dove Cameron she'd make a great barbie or Sabrina Carpenter. I'm just naming pretty blonde women I love. Ryan Ross as Ken would be perfect though. If you've ever seen teen beach movie. He was made to play Ken. Hope you have a wonderful rest of your day or evening🩷🩷🩷🌸🩷🌸🩷✨✨