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the-cult-of-russo · 3 years

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No Going Back

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Request : good morning. i wanna request number 8. “Maybe you should just leave now.” angst/fighting dialogue. to be correct it is for billy russo right?

A/N: yes it's my Billy boy :') he a lil soft in this though but also an asshole lmaooo not gonna lie, this one had me swept up in the emotion. It hit quite close to home and now I'm sad :')

Warnings: cursing, angst, sadness and heartbreak. Billy fucked up big time lol

Your hands were shaking as you slammed the door to your apartment. Tears stained your cheeks and you kicked your heels off before storming to your bedroom, grabbing a duffel bag and starting to pack his things that he'd left around. Heartbroken didn't even cover it.

You knew this would happen, it's why you fought against it for so long. But you were stupid and ended falling for his bullshit and now you were a mess.

You and Billy had been together officially for 7 months. You'd met a year ago at a bar and hit it off, but when he tried to take you home you'd denied him. That apparently piqued his interest even more. He'd always be at the bar every Friday when you went and it was always easy to just be yourself around him. You didn't take him up on his offer and he would offer every time. He never made it a secret that he wanted you.

But as the months drew on, you both got to know each other more and it became a sort of friendship. You had to admit you felt something when you looked forward to seeing him. He'd asked you once why you were so against it and you'd been pretty blunt with him. You knew of his reputation and you weren't into it. You didn't do one night stands or casual sex. You wanted a relationship, someone to settle down with. You wanted something real. You told him you didn't think he was capable of that and he'd break your heart.

Five months into knowing each other and he'd switched from just wanting to fuck you to wanting to actually date you and you'd still put up a fight. But as your feelings for him grew, he wore you down. The moment you agreed to that date, which he'd been over the moon about, everything changed.

It had been so easy to be with him. He treated you like a queen, was more affectionate than you'd have thought, and you enjoyed each other's company. He was busy with Anvil a lot so you didn't see him every day but he'd call if he couldn't see you or send you sweet texts. He swore to you up and down that he'd never hurt you, never do what you'd thought he would do when you turned him down all those times.

You'd see the looks women gave him when you went out together or were at an event as his date and sometimes you'd feel insecure. But he only had eyes for you it seemed and it reassured you. It lulled you into a false sense of security that he'd actually changed. That he actually cared about you.

But you were wrong. So very fucking wrong and now you were paying for it. You'd been having dinner with a friend you hadn't seen in a while when it happened. Your eyes finding Billy across the restaurant. He was sat with a pretty blonde, very up close and intimate as they whispered god knows what to each other. You'd felt your heart crack but tried to deny it. It was just flirting, nothing more. But then… he'd leaned in and kissed her.

You'd shot out of your seat so fast the chair fell over and ran out of the place like someone had lit a fire up your ass. And you knew he'd seen you because you heard him shouting your name as you jumped into a cab and left.

You hated yourself for being surprised at what he'd done. You'd told him this was exactly how it would go but he'd swore to you. And you allowed yourself to buy into his bullshit because you loved him.

Most of his things packed, you padded over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine, pouring a large glass. You swigged it in one and felt the warmth bloom in your chest. It did little to ease the hopeless sorrow that consumed you though.

There was a rough knock at your door and you heard Billy call your name loudly. You tensed, heart breaking all over again as the tears seemed to be never ending. You didn't want to talk to him, to even look at him. But this was it. You couldn't stay with him, not now. You'd never be able to trust him again. You knew you had to tell him it was done so you could lick your wounds and heal from the pain.

"Y/N, please… open the door," Billy begged from the other side. You walked over, unlocking it but not opening it as you stormed back off to your bedroom. You knew he'd let himself in. You heard his heavy footsteps entering as you shoved another of his shirts in the bag, one you liked to sleep with.

"Can we talk?" He asked hesitantly.

"No," you bit out, eyes snapping to him. His face fell when he saw you crying and he took a tentative step into the room.

"Please, Y/N, let me explain," he frowned. You laughed but it held no joy. Only a deep rooted pain that was latched onto your soul.

"Explain? Really? What, you gonna say you tripped and your mouth landed on hers?! I saw it with my own eyes, Billy! You don't need to explain anything!" You roared, pure pain lacing your words.

He clenched his jaw as he shook his head, eyes glassy as he stared at you.

"I'm-I'm sorry," he started softly, reaching out to grab your arm but you smacked it away harshly. He looked like a kicked puppy and you hated it. He didn't get to be upset about this.

"How long have you been fucking her then?" You asked snidely as you grabbed the duffel bag, holding it in a death grip.

"I haven't fucked her," he muttered quietly. You snorted deprecatingly and he bit down on his lower lip.

"Yet?" You asked knowingly. His guilty glance to the floor told you everything you needed to know.

"How long, Billy? How long have you been cheating on me?" You asked, your voice wavered but your gaze had nothing but fire in it and he shifted where he stood. He couldn't look at you.

"A month. It was always one night, I never went back to someone," he frowned. Pain clawed its way through your chest and you threw the bag at him hard. He caught it but stumbled a little and he looked at you forlornly.

"Well, I guess that makes it better then, right?" You asked coldly and he flinched.

You stormed past him back to the kitchen area and he followed quickly.

"Please listen to me, Y/N. I need to make this right," he pleaded desperately. You whirled around to face him, face flushed and tear stained and you felt like you wanted to scream.

"Why? Why did you just decide after 6 months together to do this to me? You promised me, Billy! I knew this would happen but you fought for this! For us! Why?! Just so you could break my heart?!" You bellowed, a mix of anger and utter despair in your tone.

His lower lip quivered and he bit down on it, staring at the floor.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I swear, I didn't. I just…" his voice cracked as his teary eyes landed on you.

"Maybe you should just leave now," you uttered. Your whole body was trembling and you felt sick. You couldn't stand to look at him. He stepped closer to you, dropping the bag on the floor but you took a step back. It would be far too easy to fall for his bullshit again and if he touched you, you didn't think you'd be able to get him to leave.

It felt like pure pain ripped through your chest, the weight of the world crashing down around you. You slumped onto a dining chair as a raw sob clawed its way out. Billy was kneeling in front of you in seconds, his own cheeks now damp as he cupped your cheeks. You moved your head from his grip and shook your head.

"I loved you, you know that?" You whispered brokenly though your tears. You'd never outright said it, mostly in fear of his reaction. But it had all gone to shit anyway. His lip trembled again, scrunching his nose up a little as he shook his head. He looked utterly devastated and it made you angry so you continued.

"I loved you with everything I had. I trusted you with my life. I ripped out my own beating heart and willingly gave it to you because you swore to me you wouldn't do this. You just took it and stomped all over it. How could you do this to me?" Your last words were strained as the tears flowed freely.

"Please let me fix this," he begged helplessly. He was crying openly now, not trying to hide it as he gazed at you from the floor.

"You can't fix it. I'll never be able to trust you again. It's not just the sex, Billy! You've been lying to me for a month. All those business meetings or times you were away? And you just… you'd come back to me with a smile and tell me sweet words. Looked me in the fucking eye and not feel guilty," you choked out. He shook his head vigorously, hands clasping yours so tight you couldn't pull them away.

"You've got no idea how guilty I felt. It's been eatin' me up from the inside out," he lamented.

"Why would you…? What was it? You just got bored of me? Decided you didn't want me anymore? You should have just ended this because it would hurt less than this," you wept pitifully. He shook his head, clutching your hands tighter.

"Don't… Don't say that, I do want you. I know I don't deserve you, I know I'm an asshole. And… and maybe I shoulda left it alone when you told me this would happen, but I was selfish and I-I couldn't. You were never like the others. I knew that from the moment we met. But then… then things were gettin' serious and I just… I freaked out and went back to my default 'cause I didn't know how to…'' he cried, screwing his face up as he hung his head.

You sobbed as you stood, his hands falling away and you moved to lean against the table as he stood.

"It would be bad enough if I'd just got with you in the first place and you did this. But I wanted to avoid this. I tried so hard but you kept on at it. And it hurts so much more because you promised me you wouldn't do this and I believed you. I thought you'd changed, that you…" you ran a hand through your hair, tugging on it as the tears wouldn't stop.

He stepped to you, grasping your face in both hands and you couldn't bring yourself to fight it despite the pain it brought you. His endless eyes were all consuming, his cheeks wet from his own tears.

"Please… please, Y/N, don't do this. Let me make it right," he begged tearfully.

"Without trust, we have nothing. Everytime you're on your phone I'd wonder if you were talking to another woman. When you're out I'd be paranoid about who you were with. I can't live like that, Billy. I can't live my life in… in an anxious, jealous haze. That's not a relationship," you whispered.

He made a pained noise and it squeezed your heart so hard you thought it might implode.

"I was never good enough for you. I knew that. But I wanted… I wanted to try and be-be a good man… for you. And I fucked up so bad and I just…" his words trailed off into a hopeless sob and you squeezed your eyes shut. You wished there was a way to fix this but there wasn't. You wouldn't be in one of those relationships without trust. Checking your partner's phone and always checking in. It would break you.

"You need to leave, Billy," your words were a mere breath and his hands on your face tightened for a moment before they fell to his sides. He looked completely broken and you were sure you looked the same. He opened his mouth before promptly closing it, his jaw ticking as he moved away and pushed the heels of his palms to his eyes.

You wrapped your arms around yourself like it would protect you from the pain and glared at the floor. You could still feel his gaze burning into you. You glanced at him as he grabbed the bag and slung it over his shoulder. You had to fight the urge to grab onto him as he walked to your door. You felt like you were dying.

He grabbed the handle but stopped, not looking at you as his body tensed.

"I want you to know… I love you too," his pained words felt like a punch to the gut and you covered your mouth with a hand but it did little to stop the noise that left your lips. He looked over his shoulder at you, still holding the door handle.

"I know that… right now you probably don't believe me, but I do. And I'm sorry. I-I never wanted you to get hurt. You deserve so much better," he muttered despondently. With that, he opened the door and slipped out of your apartment. Of your life.

You fell to the floor as heaving sobs left your chest. It would have been easier if he came here being an asshole. Cold and emotionless like you knew he could be at times. But seeing him, his emotions so raw and on display, it cut you deeper than any knife could. And you believed him. You knew him well enough to believe that he fell in love with you and freaked out. You knew it would happen which is why you'd turned him down at the start. You believed he never wanted to hurt you. And you wished you could forgive him. You saw how much it hurt him too but you couldn't. You couldn't get over the betrayal and you didn't think you ever could.

He'd sabotaged what you both had because of his inability to deal with what he felt and the bitter knowledge that if he'd just accepted it, how different your future would be with him, it left a sour taste in your mouth. Billy had opened up to you a lot in your time together about his past and you knew how much it had messed him up. You knew it left him struggling with emotions and relationships and you felt for him. For the lost boy who'd never felt love and didn't know how to cope with it. But nothing could erase the heartbreak. The hurt that he'd given you. Because even if you'd one day be able to forgive him, you'd never be able to forget.

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #the punisher #billy russo imagine

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kyoko0001 · 5 years

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Please use or Share ANGST Addition!!!

Even More KuroFai stories I need in my life and dont have time to write.

1 ~ An AU where Fai and Kurogane meet at a support group like Ellie’s place where teens go to deal with the loss of there parents. They both got sent there because they are NOT dealing with it well. Kurogane is getting in trouble at school and has serious anger issues while Fai wont eat and has started self harming. They both think the group is bull shit and end up bonding by sneaking out and just hanging out behind the building and talking about not there feelings. eventually they end up leaning on each other and making it work now that neither of them have families. wonderful slow burn of how they fall and love love after so much heart brake.

2 ~ An AU where were in like 1600′s Europe during the witch hunts and Kurogane is in charge of interrogating the newest suspected witch. Fai has lived on a small farm outside of the village for many years and has never bothered anyone. In fact he often makes medicine for the villagers and while they were weary of the fact that he doesn’t seem to age no one had ever bothered him before the whole witch craze. Kurogane isn't looking forward to the possibility of having to torture the person who always drops off medication when his mothers cough returns and doesn't know what to do when Fai freely admits that he is a witch and asks why that is so wrong. Que Kuro-chan having to question his moral code, sneaking Fai food while he is locked up in the dungeon and eventually helping him flee/attempt to flea. Bonus points for sad endings where Fai and Kurogane face there fate together when they cant get away.

3 ~ Fai and Yuui are in Kurogane’s class (just swap there names so the real Fai is now Yuui and the twin who changes his name to Fai is Fai) But Kurogane hasn't seen Fai since about the 5-6th grade because of his frail health. Yuui is still at school every day though and is quite popular. One day when Kurogane and Yuui are staying after school to work on a science project Yuui gets a call and frantically tells Kurogane he needs to leave. Kurogane has a car and offers to drive Yuui and Yuui ends up having a brake down in the car while he is reading some text messages from his mother. Kurogane was not expecting to go to the hospital today but Yuui is a sobbing shaking mess so he parks and takes him inside to make sure he makes it ok. Yuui is too upset to talk to the nurses so Kurogane ends up finding out Fai’s room and walks Yuui there. Yuui asks him to stay so he does and they meet Yuui’s mother outside of the room. Shes a single mom and looks rough but Kurogane polity introduces himself. When Yuui goes into see Fai he gets his first glimpse of him. Fai looks like a paler, thinner version of his brother with much much longer hair. He is sitting up in the bed with all sorts of tubes and wires around him and he looks so confused as his brother frets over him. Its the twins mom that tells Kurogane that Fai has been in a coma for over a year and the doctors told them he was brain dead. years ago Fai had stopped coming to school because he had had a weak heart and had finally gotten a transplant last year only to have a blood clot from the operation cause a stroke. He had been in coma and had unexpectedly woken up a few hours ago which is why Yuui just lost it. Eventually Kurogane goes home and Yuui is out of school for the next week. When he comes back he thanks Kurogane for being so kind and lets him know that Fai is getting better and better. Since he is really the only one at school that knows whats going on and Yuui will talk to him about how Fai is doing. He gets to hear about how Fai had to learn how to walk again and is getting stronger and stronger, about when Fai finally gets to come home, and he is the only one Yuui warns when Fai is going to come back to school almost 6 months after coming out of his coma. When Fai comes back to school Kurogane gets to meet him for the first time and finds out that he is the opposite of his serious, quite, and meek brother. You guys get the point lol a slow burn where Kurogane helps Fai get from classes and catch up on homework and becomes apart of the Fluorite family and falls in love love with Fai.

4 ~ Kurogane’s ends up traveling to the capital after earning recondition for his skill in battle and is asked to join the Kings guard in Celese. He really doesn’t want to visit the “City of the Gods” where the king and his court resides but his dad is making him. He has to attend the ball in his honor and that is where he Meet’s Fai, the first Prince of Celese who he will be assigned to guard. The head of the kings guard warned him that Fai is a bit of a handful and not to take his antics personally--the roll as his royal guard is mostly formal. He gets what he means when Fai manages to give him the slip after only 30 minutes. Fai does not like to be baby sat so its a constant game of hide and seek between them untill one day Kurogane looses his temper and slams Fai against the wall when he catches him. Fai of course is very impressed that Kuro-chan had the balls to raise a hand to the crowned prince and there relationship starts to change. Fai still teases the crap out of him but he isnt running away as often and is actually taking the time to talk to Kurogane because he is the only person who doesn't just see the crowned prince and treats him as a human. As Fai allows him closer Kurogane starts to learn exactly what it means to be the next head of the nation and all the insane training, rituals, and lessons he has to go though and attend. Its kept hush hush but those in power know that Ashura is starting to loose his mind and as the God of War he has a tendency to go on killing sprees. It’s Fai’s job to stop him and he and the head of the kings hard often have to battle and retain Ashura until the madness episode subsides. Fai knows he will eventually loose his mind completely and then it will be Fai’s job to put him out of his misery. Another slow burn where Kurogane and Fai end up falling in love and Kurogane helps support Fai while he deals with Ashura. Bonus points if Fai transforms himself into a vampire and give up his humanity to ultimately save Ashura from his madness and Kuro-chan agrees to be his prey to shoulder the burden.

5 ~ An AU where Kurogane is a vampire hunter and Fai is of course a vampire. Kurogane and his partner Sershiro have been working together for years and just last week they had taken out a figurehead in the Vampire community and the vampire that transformed Fai. Fai has no idea what to do to with himself and is feeling pretty shitty and misses his master. He tries to kill himself but it doesn't really work given that he is immortal so he decides to just go knock on Kurogane’s door since shoving a stake into his own heart isnt an easy thing to do. Kurogane opens the door at 2 am to see Fai--with his glowing blue eyes and long silky blonde hair giving him a sad smile. Of course he has no idea who Fai is because the vampire he had killed kept him well hidden and locked away so he is not on the bounty list. Fai tells him he is a vampire and hands him a stake and of course Kurogane is like wtf? No i’m not going to kill you. I dont know who the fuck you are and I only kill the people on the list so Fai sorta just refuses to leave and Kurogane eventually invites him in and so on and so on and Kurogane gets to learn all about what vampire culture is really like and they fall in love love and blah blah blah tons of sexy blood drinking and gay smex.

#KuroFai #Prompts #Some please write these!!!

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