#id.inferno

[idolizenews]

MINYOUNG AND DANNY’S LOVE FOR PEPSI ‘BLOSSOM’S IN SPRING

1. [ +1,001, -123 ] Is this seriously an ad? ㅋㅋ Pepsi really went all out, it’s cute~ 2. [ +793, -71 ] I wouldn’t be surprised if their love blossomed for each other too ㅎㅎ  3. [ +436, -52 ] No but isn’t Midas being too brave?? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Jiyeon just had a scandal with someone, and now they keep letting Minyoung show her closeness with a rumored playboy?? Is MSG paying them to help clean his image or what ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

#id.cf #id.atlas #id.inferno #id.heo minyoung #id.moon daewon

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S LEAD VOCAL, LEAD DANCE JANG WOOSUNG...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 21 DEBUT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 14 COMPANY: Midas ETC: This member is known for often occupying a center role in videos and promotions

IDOL IMAGE

On stage, Woosung is a captivating performer. Explosive energy and charisma, a coordinated dancer and stable vocalist, with a cute yet handsome visual to boot. He’s magnet on stage, someone who fans’ eyes are drawn to despite not being the best dancer or vocal in the group. He can handle the experimental concepts that Midas throws at 1nferno and is able to take most of the intense concepts in stride, finding it not terribly difficult to get into a character and convey the appropriate image onstage.

Offstage, however, Woosung is incredibly different. Having a naturally meek, introverted, and insecure personality, he tends on the quieter side during interviews, lives, and other social situations, finding it hard to talk and share his opinions. Midas pushes him as a chic, artistic personality, capitalizing on his contemporary dance training as a testament to his artistry and emotionality. It’s an easy role for Woosung to play, as someone who is much more comfortable staying quiet regardless of his image. During public appearances, he tends to let the stronger personalities in the group take over, chiming in rarely and even then, it’s usually only when he’s directly referred to or asked a question. Some fans complain about this behaviour, calling him cold and distant from the other members of the group, but his dedicated fans claim it’s because of his emotive side, reasoning that he’s one to read the situation and observe in order to match the others involved, rather than take charge of things.

When Woosung does speak, he’s surprisingly insightful despite his shyness, a delight to both fans and the company. He’s the type to consider unusual perspectives, without being strange enough to be labelled as a 4D personality. He’s thoughtful and considerate, easily able to gauge the needs of others around him. He does have his spacey moments, though, tending to get lost in thought. Thankfully, it’s more endearing than frustrating, and is marketed as simply another aspect of his emotionally-tuned personality.

IDOL HISTORY

1998.

Jang Woosung has always been a boy caught between two worlds, even from birth. He is born on January 26, 1998 to a Korean father and a Korean-American mother, and given two names— Woosung, a Korean name given by his father, and William, an English name given by his mother. Neither quite fit, each one missing a component of the other, and as Woosung grows up, he comes to resent them both. His English name as a target of ridicule, the label of gyopo, his mother’s roots in America. His Korean name as a cover up, trying to conceal the other half of him; but also, as a constant reminder of a father who left him, who gives him that name before leaving when Woosung is less than six months old. His mother has already established herself in Korea, has already planned a life here for her son, so despite being alone, she stays, intent on raising her son like she had planned, just without Woosung’s father. And so she does, the two of them in a tiny apartment in Ilsan, an infant Woosung crying for a father he wouldn’t even remember.

2001.

There’s no reason for Woosung to attend nursery school. His mother’s job as a freelance translator means she can work from home, balancing her responsibilities for work and responsibilities as a mom. They don’t go out much, simply stay safe in their own little world. Woosung’s mom is all he needs, and his mother is happy to provide. That is, until Woosung turns three, and his mother takes him to America to meet his grandparents. Look at him, Mia, they tell Woosung’s mother. He never leaves your side. He doesn’t talk to his cousins. He hardly plays at all. He keeps to himself too much. He doesn’t know how to socialize. What kind of adult will William be if he doesn’t learn how to act as a child?

And they’re right. Woosung is withdrawn, looks at others with fear in his eyes, holds onto his mother’s skirt wherever they go. So, as soon as she gets back to Korea, she enrols him in the first activity she can find that will take three year olds— a ballet class at a studio just a fifteen minute bus ride away. Woosung cries during the first class. He cries during the second. He clings to his mother and begs her not to go. She hushes him, gives him a kiss on the cheek, tells him that if he goes to the class, tries his best, acts like a good boy, they’ll get ice cream later. Isn’t that nice, Will? Wouldn’t you like that?

This is where everything begins.

2003.

Woosung excels in his ballet class. He takes it very seriously, practices at home, hums the complex classical melodies even when class has long ended. He doesn’t become the most talkative kid in the class, not by a long shot, still insecure and devastatingly shy, but he comes out of his shell a bit, shares short sentences with a few of the other kids in his class before and after their lessons. I want to be a dancer, he tells his mom, and he’s good enough, loves it so much that she kisses his head and says of course, Will, whatever you love to do is something worth doing.

But then, Woosung starts school, and the bullying begins. In his dance classes, the other children were too young to understand what it meant when Woosung spoke another language with his mother, and they spent too little time with him to be bothered by it. The children at school, however, understand the difference. They realize that Woosung is different because he speaks a language that isn’t Korean with his mother, because the food he eats for lunch is a bit different from theirs, because he has two different names on his report. So they tease him, pick on him, call him a foreigner, a gyopo, a fake Korean. Woosung’s personality doesn���t help him either, his shyness and lack of interest in anything other than dance making him an easy target. It never progresses beyond name-calling, but it hurts just the same, presses down on Woosung until he withdraws entirely, speaks to hardly anyone. It’s then that he vows to never use his English name again.

2007.

It’s not until Woosung is nearly ten years old that he meets his father again. They never talks about him much, Woosung and his mother, and he would never visit— he lives far from us, Will, it’s hard to get here from Busan. Woosung was never able to forget him, though, reminded of his father’s existence by the cards and small pockets of money that double as birthday gifts and seollal presents. But one November day, when Woosung gets home from school, his mother tells him (in a voice so quiet, nearly sad, your father wants to visit you, William) and Woosung stops.

His father is tall, intimidating, dressed in a suit when he drives up to meet Woosung. (Even that detail is strange to Woosung— his mother has never had a car.) He takes Woosung for dinner, to a restaurant with food that Woosung doesn’t like but chokes down anyways because he’s scared of seeming impolite. He finds out he has sisters— two of them, aged five and two— that he’s never met or heard of before. Woosung, talking for the first time since his father picked him up, asks how they can be his sisters if they don’t have the same mom. His father doesn’t answer, takes him home twenty minutes later.

Back inside his house, the small apartment he shares with his mother, he feels like he’s back in the safe zone. But there is no safe zone anymore, the influence of another world with his father weighing on Woosung even when he’s alone with his mother. And so he withdraws into himself even further, stumbling along the line between two contrasting worlds that he must exist in at the same time.

2011.

Woosung dances every day, now. He’s moved on from ballet, branching out into contemporary, modern, other styles of dance that make use of his lithe frame and flexibility. He finishes school each day and goes straight to practice, logging long hours at the studio, coming home well past sundown and still slaving over his homework. He doesn’t do great in school, but his mother keeps on him, tells him it’s good to have a backup, Will, what if you get injured and you have to stop dancing? It’s a thought that scares him immensely, but he trusts his mother, so he tries his best, forces himself to keep going, stays up well into the night just to keep his head above the water.

But the lessons are getting expensive now, the older Woosung gets and the harder he pushes himself. He starts competing— starts winning, bits of money here and there, small scholarships to workshops— but the costs rack up. His mother is alone, just her and Woosung, and while his dad visits sometimes, he never provides. So it gets harder to put food on the table, harder to pay the bills, and the night that he notices his mother not eating simply because there isn’t enough food, Woosung breaks.

For the first time in his life, Woosung reaches out to his father. It’s not like Woosung has never contacted him before— since Woosung met him four years ago, he makes sure to message him on important days to wish him well, like his father’s birthday, or Parent’s Day. He’s a good son, polite, and he never asks for anything, never asked until that day, when he meets up with his father and asks him for money.

His father doesn’t agree. His father denies him vehemently, once he finds out what the money is for. He’s fuming, yells at Woosung, I already have two other kids to provide for, and you have the audacity to ask me for money for a hobby? For ballet? I won’t support something gay like that.

It’s the first time Woosung hears the word gay like that— used to describe something he loves so dearly, curled up into the seat of his father’s car, his head down and tears in his eyes. He’s heard it snickered behind his back in school, as he got older and the bullying had turned from shouts and jeers to things more subtle. I heard he dances ballet. And he’s never had a crush on anyone, he’s never even talked to any of the girls in our grade. Do you think he’s gay? It still hurt, a lot, his heart aching at each comment, but it was easy enough to tune out, used to it after eight years of snide comments and insults— but this is the first time he hears it so directly. He doesn’t realize why it would be a bad thing, his mother always telling him gently it’s fine to like what you like, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. But from his father, it sounds bad. It sounds wrong. Woosung doesn’t even know what he likes yet, doesn’t know if he’s gay or not, but it plants the seed then— he can’t be gay, not if he wants to be loved.

Woosung goes home and cries, locks himself in his room, presses his face into his pillow and tries not to make himself as small as possible in hopes that he might disappear. He deliberates it for days, stays up all night thinking. The thought of quitting is unbearable, but there’s no way he can let his mom keep doing this to pay for his dance. After a few days, an idea comes to him, risky yet seductive.

If I get accepted into a good company for my dance, will you help mom pay for it? He texts his dad, too scared to ask him to his face after last time.

His dad agrees.

2012.

Woosung gets scouted less than three months later.

He’d cut out his ballet classes, cut out modern and contemporary, switched to something that people would be interested in him for. Something that people wouldn’t call him gay for. He joins a hip hop academy, fills his time outside of school with that. He learns the basics voraciously, dedicating every second of his time to be able to improve as fast as possible. He doesn’t have the power and swagger that the other dancers have, but he’s toned, coordinated, and expresses feelings well onstage, uses all of it to his advantage to put on a good performance. He tries his best to fit in, to not draw any criticisms, feigns confidence like it’s his job. Two months after he joins his academy, they put on a public performance, and someone in a suit approaches him as he leaves the venue. I work for an entertainment company, they tell him, but Woosung doesn’t hear anything, only sees the Midas on the business card they hand him. We’re looking for new trainees right now for an idol group. You should audition.

Woosung does. He goes to the first audition he can make it to, forks out the little bit of money he has saved to travel to Seoul for it. A week later, his name is on the contract.

2015.

Trainee life is exhausting. As much as Woosung wanted to leave school, dedicate every minute of his life to dance and performance, his mother and the company wouldn’t let it happen. He enrols in SOPA with the companies help, in the Department of Practical Dance, goes to school and study only to train into the wee hours of the morning. He moves into the dorms, away from his mom— as much as it breaks his heart, going between Ilsan and Seoul every day on top of his already intense schedule just wasn’t feasible. Woosung never takes it easy on himself, always pushing himself as much as he can, working as hard as he can. He’s self-critical, incredibly so, uses every second he can in the studios and practices until his body is screaming at him. It seems to pay off, getting him noticed by the company. He doesn’t rank too high in his evaluations, maybe a bit above average, but he gets compliments from his coaches, trainers, teachers. He doesn’t dare take any of it for granted, though; he’s seen it happen, talented trainees letting the praise go to their head, getting cocky, getting comfortable, and in the end, getting dropped from the company. He makes sure he’s always consistent, always hungry, searching to be better. Woosung doesn’t pay much attention to the other trainees, never really makes friends— it’s not like that’s something he’s ever been in the habit of anyways, after how his school life turned out. The cutthroat nature of the trainee industry makes it harder on him too, because the comments turn from general meanness to picking on the parts of himself he has confidence in. They pick on his dancing, about how he lacks power, how he’s too soft in his movements, how he stands out too much that he’ll never fit into a group. The comments break him down even more, tear his confidence to pieces. He doesn’t let it destroy him though, and he doesn’t back out— he’s come too far to quit now, and besides, what would his mother and father think? So Woosung just does what he’s always done— keeps his head down, his mouth shut, and works until he can’t anymore.

Then at the end of 2015, right before Woosung is about to go home for the holidays, he’s called for a meeting with five other boys and told they’ll debut. Management explains the concept to them— experimental, powerful, conceptual. It doesn’t seem like it’s anything Woosung will fit into at all, especially when he’s given the label of lead dancer and lead vocal. He doesn’t have the strength behind his voice, the power in his movements to carry such a title. But the company assures him, all wolvish smiles, hands on his shoulders, you don’t need to worry, Woosung, you’re handsome and tall so you’ll do well. It clicks then, why he’s gotten as far as he has, why the company always seemed to like him, give him some extra spotlight. It wasn’t because of his talent, because of his hard work— even though he’s a good dancer and a decent singer, what the company wanted him for was his looks. Everything feels fake now, the compliments, the encouragements, all the work he put in discounted. It feels like a weight on his shoulders, another thing crushing down on him. He resents himself for it, resents not being able to get by on his talent alone, resents the company having to lean into his looks to justify putting him into the group. And yet, months

later, despite everything, he debuts.

2019.

Woosung has never had a crush. Never had a true friend, someone his age that he could talk to. Never had a goal other than dance. Never had an urge to open his mouth and speak his mind. But now, things are changing. Woosung has a couple people that he’s comfortable with being around, people who he trusts not to tear him down at the first chance they get. They’re few and far between, his friends, but at least they exist. People still intimidate him, strong, aggressive personalities easily overpowering him, and he’s still devastatingly shy, but the company is pushing him, putting him front and centre, so he’s forced to work through the anxiety, stomp it down so he can do well. He has a crush now, maybe. He doesn’t know what it feels like to have a crush, but he thinks this might be it— the heart fluttering, cheek reddening feeling whenever that certain someone is around. He doesn’t think anything will come of it— who would want to date someone like him, twenty-one years old with absolutely no experience— but it’s there. (He’s not gay though. Or, he doesn’t think he’s gay. He can’t be gay, not after what his dad said to him.) He has fans, people who like him, hears good things about himself. They like his English, find him relatable, coo over him, find out his English name, call him Will without it twisting his stomach in the same way. There’s not as much direct bullying anymore, but Woosung is so used to it now, feeling like he’s being criticized for everything he does, that he finds himself being hard on himself. Late nights spent crying in the practice rooms, his body aching so much that it’s hard to get off the ground. He wants to snap out of it, but it’s hard— especially when he sees comments online, fans pitting the members against each other, pointing out how he lacks compared to the main vocal and main dancer. But he’s trying— really, he is— and maybe, one day, he’ll feel good enough.

#id.bio #id.midas #id.inferno #id.no yoonho

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S MAIN DANCE, LEAD RAP LEE TAEWOO...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 23 DEBUT AGE: 20 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 15 COMPANY: Midas ETC: He has made a significant name for himself for his desirability as a cf model for various brands

IDOL IMAGE

Idol life has never come naturally to Taewoo. He doesn’t have the same towering personality shared by many of his peers, nor the looks to be considered an outstanding visual or the commanding presence of a leader. The years of training have helped to hone his natural talent as a performer, but that alone makes him no better or worse than any other idol. This is an industry as cut throat as any other, and on the surface not one that he’s cut out for. His nature has always been soft and gentle, defined by his willingness to do whatever is necessary and value others needs above his own. A doormat in nearly every sense of the word. He may not be innately superior, but he’s more willing than most to put the work in to surpass them.

What he does have however, is versatility. Despite his flaws, the company know that they can take advantage of that. Yes, he’s an exceptionally talented dancer with a recognizable voice, but his true strength lies in his versatility and malleability. Taewoo has always been silly putty in the hands of Midas, able to take on and maintain whatever shape is required. Any concept, any role, no matter how unnatural it feels or how much may dislike it he is forever ready and willing to be whatever is needed, and to do what needs to be done to push the group forwards.

Need someone step in and embarrass themselves on a variety show? Taewoo is your guy. Learn a foreign language to appease overseas fans? Done. Rehearse until you’re literally on the verge of hospitalization? Rest is over-rated anyway. No matter what Midas throws at them, he has learned to adapt on a whim.

In recent months that has meant an increasing number of appearances in commercial films, selling anything and everything to anyone willing to watch. His innate versatility ensures that given a good enough director he thrives given any product, and each cf has so far proved more successful than the last. When one such film went viral in late 2018 sales shot through the roof, and his reputation was cemented as one of the go-to idols for advertisers. It isn’t what he signed up for, and at times it makes him profoundly uncomfortable, but it’s part and parcel of life as an idol.

Given the chance he takes a backseat role in promotions and other appearances, though thanks to his work outside of the group the opportunity rarely arises. Years on the job have helped his personality to more fully bloom, but at his core he’s still a reserved and nervous person who’s just as happy in the background as the foreground. Despite this though there is an unwavering air of positivity surrounding him, a perhaps naive optimism that will come back to bite him. Whilst not necessarily a mood maker, his image definitely has a brighter edge. Warm and reliable; A pillar of the group who sincerely values his members and fans above all else.

Away from the spotlight though? He’s barely holding himself together. Between the extra workload Midas is placing on his shoulders, the fact that they have still yet to secure their first win and the ear constant (If perhaps irrational) fear of being removed from the line-up, cracks are beginning to show on the surface. Exhaustion is not an unfamiliar feeling, but where before it would slowly creep up behind, now it charges like a stampeding wildebeest. Despite those around him voicing their concerns, he can’t address it though. If a single cog in the machine stops turning the whole thing stops working, and he’s little more than a cog. He can’t afford to stop. For the sake of his sanity, for the sake of his members and for the sake of his family he needs this to work, no matter the cost.

IDOL HISTORY

There was never anything extraordinary to be said about Lee Sooyoung and Lee Taehyun. They were just an unremarkable couple in love with a tiny house on the outskirts of Busan, a tinier dog and three equally unremarkable children. The eldest is Lee Taewoo, a quiet kid enamoured by the world with a perpetual smile, who would go on to be more than anyone could reasonably have expected.

Being a line cook and a waitress by trade meant that money was never particularly forthcoming. Even before his birth purse strings were pulled tight, what little remained of their wages after bills being squirrelled away in savings accounts for the future, and with every passing birth the bet was pulled tighter. By the time of the third the cashflow is non-existent. They do their best to provide, and for the most part manage to struggle on, but food is often in short supply, clothes are second hand without fail and basic utilities are cut off at least twice a year.

Not that Taewoo cares, or even really notices. His parents are swans gliding gracefully across the water, and he’s too young or too naïve to see the legs scrambling beneath the ripples keeping them all afloat. To him, dinner by candlelight, freezing cold baths and clothes three sizes too large are all entirely normal, and even when his peers question it, he reasons that his family are just strange rather than struggling.

That has always been his way: to search for positivity in any person or situation, even when there’s none to be found. His optimism is unwavering, even in the face of tragedy or overwhelming adversity. “You have to laugh, or you’ll only cry” is the mantra that he lives by, and one that has dragged him from the darker corners of his mind on many an occasion. Though quiet, reserved and bordering on timid he was able to light up the room with a wide smile and an infectious laugh.

He was never an especially social animal, focusing instead on pushing himself in both and academic and athletic sense. Lacking the natural charm and charisma of many of his peers, it was his hope that doing so would win him friends, or at the very least acceptance. Rather than drawing them closer though it only seemed to push them away. He was, and still is, for all intents and purposes a doormat. He will let you step all over him, push him into doing anything and be whatever you need him to be just to be accepted. The reason was never really clear: perhaps his reclusiveness was mistaken for arrogance, or the rumours that swirled about his family’s financial situation. More likely though, it was because he had all the social skills of a baked potato, and no book was likely to change that.

And so, his quest for acceptance continues once more in vain, until one day, aged ten, he comes across a street performer. A dancer, a b-boy, to be precise. The way that the man moves is unlike anything he’s ever seen, the fluidity of motion completely hypnotic. Of course, he’s heard of idols, but this… this is something else entirely. He’s completely enraptured, unable to tear his eyes away until thunderous applause brings him back to reality. That was the moment that he knew: this was the answer he was looking for. A path lying in plain sight that had remained completely unexplored.

Even in the early days, the internet was a wonderful tool. Every video he could find was studied in microscopic detail, every book or article on theory and technique analysed multiple times. The depths of the family financial crisis are still a mystery, but he’s no idiot. He knows they can’t afford professional training, so to begin with he’s self-taught. It takes months, but his innate athleticism helps him to master the basics.

By this point the Park’s situation has only gotten worse. The tipping point had come when they’d made the questionable (see: terrible) decision to buy out the restaurant that employed them both with the aid of their savings as well as a complex and deadly cocktail of grants and multiple private loans. By putting themselves at the top of the chain, they reasoned, they would reap the most rewards. It was not a decision made on a whim, but rather one that Taewoo would later learn had been years in the making.

Business under the new owners ground to a halt, and by the time Taewoo is thirteen it is nearly none-existent. His parents, for all their good intentions were not business people and had no clue how to run a restaurant. His father hid away in the kitchen, his mother in the office, both choosing to bury their heads in the sand rather than face the reality as things spiralled further and further out of control. Back home it’s never mentioned, never discussed. Instead there’s only tension hanging thick in the air, withering glares and the quiet sound of crying in the dead of night as things spiral closer to rock bottom.

The failure of the business has repercussions. Where in the past they’d been forced to skip a meal here or there, now there were days when food was forgone entirely. There were more days without power than with and mortgage payments are consistently late. In hindsight, it was perhaps not the best moment to tell his parents his grand plans for the future.

Not a doctor like they’d hoped, nor a lawyer or anything of the sort. He wanted to perform. What form that took, he didn’t know yet, and didn’t care, but he had to at least try. Silence. You can hear their hearts crack as their faces sink. They’d always had high hopes that his dedication to his schooling would take him to higher places, and give him an opportunity to be better than them. Much like their son, they’d never been able to say no. After reassurances that he’ll continue his studies and laying out a clear plan b that ends with him in medical school, as well as paying for his own tutoring “Okay.” Is all they manage, the silence hanging heavy before they both leave the room hoping that it’s nothing more than a phase.

And so, he scrambles to gather funds from any direction he can. Favours from friends, odd jobs that need doing in the neighbourhood. He can barely afford a session a month, but surprisingly he’s pretty good. He tries to sneak into a few more classes, but after the first few weeks it becomes clear that he cannot pay and Is thus barred. Being self-taught he’ picked up some bad habits but that foundation allows him to move at a much faster pace. Images of the man flash through his mind as he moves; a constant reminder of the level he wants to reach.

It isn’t long before he begins to emulate the stranger that he’s seen no more than a handful of times and begins performing on the street himself. Though it doesn’t have quite the same fluidity or precision of his memory of that performance it’s decent enough to warrant some attention and a faint smattering of applause. A small amount of money even finds its way onto his jacket laying nearby, which is pleasant and put towards more lessons, though ultimately superfluous. The rush he gets is reason enough to carry on. It does nothing but reassure him that this is what he wants to do with the rest of his life.

Taewoo becomes a regular fixture of street corners around the city, and pops up at least once or twice a month in different locations, every performance better than the last. At this point in time he’s still a kid, with no plans for the future or any idea how to translate this into a career. He isn’t idol material, and that’s a fact that has been subtly drilled into him over time. “The industry is cut throat and you’re… too nice…. Too good” people say, cynicism glossed over with the illusion of good intentions. Too weak, they want to say. It’s something that he’s resigned himself too, an idea that he’s slowly grown to believe. Self confidence has never been a strength.

So, it comes as a surprise when he’s approached by a frantic man after finishing for the day, shrugging the jacket laid out on the floor over his shoulders and preparing himself for the dark, icy (in every conceivable way) confines of the home that feels more like a prison with every passing day. The words are a blur, and he’s completely blindsided. Representative, Midas, scout, trainee, idol. He simply laughs nervously and walks away, assuming it’s a joke.

Except the man finds him again. This time even more frantic than before, he eventually beats Taewoo down and convinces him to come to an audition. It can’t be real, it’s just some crazy dude in the streets. He agrees, mostly just to make the other leave, with no intention of actually attending. Time passes as usual and he carries on attending school, attending dance classes and performing in public.

When the day finally comes, he wakes up and goes on as if it were any other. A notification on his phone reminds him of the audition but is dismissed without a second thought. He’s still convinced that it was nothing more than a cruel joke. But then, an hour before, it dawns on him. This is not a chance that will come around again. Yes, it could just be a man being senselessly cruel just to get a cheap laugh… but it could also be the golden ticket he’s been looking for.

It turns out that, unbelievably to him, the latter is true. After scrambling to get there and arriving at the last possible minute, he’s gobsmacked. Even more astonishingly he gets through the audition mostly unprepared without a hitch and gets the greenlight to proceed. His charisma is severely lacking, they say, but it can be worked on and his other skills will be enough to carry him. For now, at least. He leaves dumbfounded, mind moving at a thousand miles a minute and unable to process the news. He thinks he might collapse when the cool air hits his face as he exits and the bus buckles his knees on the journey home.

The wide-eyed joy that has been painted on his animated face all day fades when he gets home to find his mother sat at the table, tears in her eyes. Letters are scattered around her, red and black ink screaming from the paper. Final notice, they blare.

For the first time he finds out just how much trouble they’re in, his heart sinking like a lead balloon as she tries to hold herself together. The restaurant is lost, but the debts incurred and loan repayments remain. Their home is under threat, and utilities about to be cut off indefinitely. Where before they’d been swans, grace and elegance hiding chaos, they were now a sinking ship, the passengers screaming in panic as the descent quickens. She tries to feign happiness when she finds out the news about her son, but her worry is obvious.

And so, when he begins his training, he also begins working. As many jobs as he can manage, Some nights he follows his mothers’ example and waits tables, some nights he follows his fathers and washes dishes. Some nights he stacks shelves and others he sweeps floors. The pay is never great, but it’s funnelled almost entirely back to his family. Though they’ve not been rescued from the sinking ship, the three have slowly managed to inflate a lifeboat just big enough for five.

Training begins well, but as it grows more complex and intense, he begins to fall in the ranks. Between maintaining his grades, working most every night and trying to keep pace with the schedule he never meets his full potential. Never the best but never the worst, he’s once more unremarkable.

Faces come and faces go, each one a little more disheartening than the last. He’s a good dancer and a decent rapper, but that isn’t enough anymore. He needs an edge. Something to make him a more appealing prospect, something to make him useful. Languages is what he settles on, already knowing basic Japanese. Again self-taught, he begins with English. Midas have artists with international appeal, so maybe this would be enough to tip the scales in his favour.

The second big blow comes a little later. His father falls ill, having a stroke at work that has a severe impact on his speech and movement. The news is devastating, and it takes him a few days to process. The temptation is there to quit, to work full time to support his family in their hour of need, but on his father’s insistence he stays. “You’ve come too far to stop now. You Can do this.”

That’s the first time that anyone has said that to him other than the scout, and it acts as a shot of adrenaline. He works harder in training and takes on extra hours at work, his grades taking a hit in the process. For this to work, he needs absolute dedication, but he can’t just leave them to fend for themselves.

Finally, his debut date is set, a full six years after joining the company, but just a month before the twenty year old idol burns out. During training he collapses, vision fading to black as he crumples to the floor, the strain of exhaustion on his body overwhelming him. Pure terror overcomes him when he awakens, the fear that he’s blown his one shot running rampant. He has to fight a long and arduous battle to convince the company to allow him to rejoin, but eventually he manages it. Perhaps they just took pity on him, sensing the desperation, but for once he couldn’t care less. To this day he lives in a state of perpetual fear, doing anything he can to prove his usefulness and avoid being benched. He has mouths to feed after all.

It catches him off guard, just how successful 1nferno are out of the gate. Though they’ve yet to secure their first win (Much to Taewoo’s frustration) they are undoubtedly o an upwards trajectory. Of course there is some favouritism in the group in terms of distribution, that much had become clear early on, but it doesn’t bother him. At least not any more. Frankly he’s just happy to be there.

More recently his focus has been in the world of advertising. CFs are an unavoidable part of life as an idol, and in truth one of the aspects of his new life that he’d dreaded during his time training. He’s too short, doesn’t have the right face; the reasons are endless. Midas clearly disagreed. After a clip went viral and saw sales of the product skyrocket he was thrust into the life of an idol advertiser, lending his face to anything and everything whether he wanted to or not, and much to his surprise found success. Even if you aren’t aware of 1nferno, there is a strong chance that you’ve seen Taewoo’s beaming face trying to sell you something.

To begin with he hates it; he signed up to be a dancer, not… whatever this was. But the longer he thinks about it, the more comfortable he becomes with the idea. His trainee debt is larger than many of his peers, and there’s good money in doing these films. It’s a quicker way for him to clear his outstanding balance, to start actually providing for those he needs to again, than hoping for a massive break with the group. There are days when he still feels slimy, but he’s learned to grin and bear it.

There’s too much to lose by upsetting the applecart after all.

#id.bio #id.midas #id.inferno #id.kim jinhwan

[idolizenews]

1NFERNO MAKES THEIR COMEBACK WITH ‘LIMITLESS’

1. [ +1,231 , -183 ] Hul as expected of 1nferno, the choreography is so good!!! I can’t wait to see the live stages ㅠㅠㅠㅠ  2. [ +1,093 , -128 ] I’m not a match but I always look forward to their releases, their songs are always so different and refreshing to listen to!! Ah I just really love everything about this song ㅠㅠ 3. [ +729 , -84 ] This group always feels all over the place to me... I really liked Don’t Wanna Cry, and then they go back to... this... ㅋㅋㅋ So weird, you never know what you’re going to get from them, so it’s hard to be a fan

#id.comeback #id.inferno #id.music

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S MAIN RAP, LEAD VOCAL MOON DAEWON...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Danny CURRENT AGE: 20 DEBUT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 14 COMPANY: MSG Entertainment SECONDARY SKILL: n/a

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): Dan (mostly only called this by his dad), Daewonie, D-Day (dumb rap nickname he made up when he was twelve, he’s really embarrassed by it), Wonwon (by fans and teasingly by other members), Memewon (called this by fans because his expressions easily translate into memes) INSPIRATION: Danny wanted to become an idol because he wanted the world to hear his music. He wanted people to hear what he had to say, to understand the emotional struggles he’d been though. Music and especially rap were very important outlets in his life. Danny wanted to reach younger kids with music and encourage them to speak to their experiences with music as well. SPECIAL TALENTS:

freestyle rap - Danny is known for his ability to extemporaneously create raps, often humorous in nature about his fellow group members or variety show cast members. This occasionally extends to fans during vlives, instagram lives or fansigns.

group closeness - Danny can guess which 1nferno group member is in front of him, with his eyes closed, by touch alone.

language skills - In addition to being fluent in both Korean and English, Danny is conversational in both Mandarin and Japanese due a desire to communicate with the group’s international fans. He often pulls this out to converse with foreign variety show guests, impressing hosts and audiences alike.

NOTABLE FACTS:

Danny graduated from the School of Performing Arts Seoul in February 2018. He took fewer and fewer classes each year due to 1nferno’s intense schedules, leading to his late graduation. He is not currently enrolled in any university, much to his father’s displeasure.

In late 2017, Danny was a recurring guest host of After School Club.

In his free time (what little of it he has) Danny likes to play video games. This includes, but is not limited to, League of Legends, Fortnite and Overwatch. When their schedules match, he plays in live streams with a group of other idols.

Danny has three siblings: Nina (age 18),  Olivia (age 16), and Alex (age 11). He tries to spend time with them whenever he can but most of their communication is on social media or through sms.

Danny has an encyclopedic knowledge of memes and will not hesitate to reference them in any situation.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

His short term goal, as it always is, is to make it through to the next comeback. 1nferno is always doing something, be it promoting their latest comeback or going on tour. If, for some reason, there’s a lull in group activity, Daewon still rarely gets a rest as he often appears on variety shows in some form or another. Daewon is left with very little time to consider anything else but just getting through.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

Daewon’s longterm goal is to, even if just as a side project, write and release his own music. He’s written raps for years but MSG rarely uses what he’s written in anything. His lyrics tend to be personal, too personal for the light, happy image he’s known for. If only he had the time, he thinks he’d be able to write enough songs to perhaps warrant a lowkey solo release that matures his image and lets him speak his peace. At the current moment, though, that all seems very far off.

IDOL IMAGE

Daewon was just a kid when he came to MSG. 14 and looked even younger. He grew over the years, but even at 18, a legal adult in nearly every country in the world, management still saw the kid in him. That was how they cast him, the kid. Always happy, always laughing. Always doing something inadvisable, as though MSG didn’t carefully choreograph his every movement.  1nferno’s Danny is the class clown, willing to do anything for a laugh. The conspirator, convincing his group members and fellow variety show guests alike to make just as much of a fool of himself as he did with little more than a broad smile and an infectious laugh. Danny is the one to play pranks on his members and run away, giggling schoolboy. He’s the one to jump off a cliff into the water, shouting joyously the whole way down. Smile, laugh, be happy. Any worries he has are temporary, easily pushed aside. Life is there for Danny to take and he does.

It was an easy role for Daewon to play when he debuted. He’d grown in confidence, if not into himself, during his years as a trainee. He did want to make people laugh, to make them smile, to have them like him. What 18 year old doesn’t? He was a boy, not quiet yet a man, craving acceptance from the company, from his members, from the public. Daewon did what was necessary to get that acceptance. He still does, but it’s harder now. More than simple acceptance, now Daewon wants to be taken seriously. He wants to, sometimes, just sometimes, not always be the joker. He has so much to say, so much to share but none of it fits into the happy-go-lucky image MSG has sold for years. 1nferno’s Danny would never share his struggles, his pain the way Daewon wants to—needs to. That would be too much of a downer for his buoyant state of being. Danny brings people up, lightens their mood with his antics. He most certainly does not drag them down into existential crisis with him. He doesn’t feel those kinds of things. He can’t. Such internal conflict, a crisis of identity, does not jive with the ease through which Danny seems to move through life. There is no room for Daewon’s slow journey into maturity in 1nferno. Not when Danny, the reckless, carefree kid, looms so large.

IDOL HISTORY

Daewon was born in Seoul. Born and raised. Never lived anywhere else. Not that you’d guess that by looking at him. Western features mixed with, sometimes overpowered his Korean ones. That was all thanks to his father.

In the late 1990s, David Scott came to Korea for work, a cog in a wheel in a big machine. Though, admittedly, he was a rather big cog then, even bigger now. The trouble was David didn’t speak a word of Korean. So, instead of hiring an actual Korean to do their business in Korea, they got him a tutor. Moon Sungmi was a good teacher. Somehow, she got David to learn the language. Eventually he became something close to fluent, though that thick American accent never went away. Neither did Sungmi. By 1996, they were married. Before 1998 was even half over, they had their first child. A son. They named him Daniel. Or rather, David named him that. Sungmi gave him a more traditionally Korean name: Daewon. Daniel and Daewon. He learned to respond to both. They were both him, after all, and he was both of them. Two parts of a whole that never seemed to combine all the way through. He always had to choose between one or the other. No matter what he chose, it was never the right answer.

Daewon was followed by three others. First a girl, then another, and finally a boy. Six in one home would usually be cramped but David could afford to buy enough room for his large family. Daewon and his little sisters and brother never went without. There was no scrimping, no cutting back for the Scotts. They got what they wanted, when they wanted it. So long as their father approved. Nothing ever happened unless David approved. That was why, when the time came, Daewon was enrolled in an international-style school.

He was Daniel there. Only ever Daniel. His classes, apart from Korean language, were taught in English. His classmates, his friends, were all the children of expats living in a nation nothing like their own, looking for the comfort of the familiar. But he already was home. The only one he’d ever known. The only one he’d ever wanted. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want to be Daniel all the time. He wanted to be Daewon. He was proud of who he was. He didn’t want to hide his Korean heritage, push it to the side for something entirely foreign. But he couldn’t tell his father that. David Scott, who was so caught up in making sure his children were in touch with his culture, would never consider that, perhaps, they wanted to hold on to their mothers — theirs — as well. And so, he stayed Daniel.

Despite this, Daewon was not without connections to Korean culture. He spoke Korean at home, far more than English, mostly with his siblings and mother but even his father, if only for the convenience. He played with neighborhood children, his Korean mother sang him traditional nursery rhymes. Daewon and his siblings grew up watching the same programs as any other Korean child. Through his experiences outside of his father’s control, Daewon came to appreciate what he was missing at school. The main tethers Daewon had to his Korean heritage were his grandparents. Sungmi’s parents loved Korea. They were proud of who they were and where they came from, proud of their nation’s history. They wanted their grandchildren to understand why. They told them stories, taught them details about Korean history their teachers often breezed through, glossed over.. The Scott children learned things they were never taught in school. Daewon’s grandparents gave him enough books about Korea to fill an entire bookcase. Despite his father’s complete apathy toward it, Daewon grew to share in his grandparent’s pride. He might not be like everyone else around him, but he was Korean. No one could ever take that from him.

When he was eleven, Daewon decided that he didn’t want to go to his international school anymore. He didn’t want to be Daniel. At least not all the time. He wanted to go to a normal Korean school and be friends with normal Korean kids. He wanted the things he’d been deprived of. And so Daewon came up with what he thought was a very compelling argument: he spent years learning the way his father did, he should spend some time learning the way his mother did. He came up with a whole speech, practiced it with on his grandparents. He even had his youngest sister act as assistant, pointing out and changing the visual aides (all of which he created). And then… nothing. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t come with the courage to confront his father like that. His dad was going to say no, he knew that. Daewon couldn’t face the rejection.

A few weeks went by before Daewon heard a knock on his bedroom door. It was his mother. She’d heard from an anonymous source (his little sister) about his plan. And about how he’d abandoned it. Sungmi was proud of her son and didn’t know why he wouldn’t go through with it. Daewon tried to explain but words failed him. Sungmi understood anyway. For once, she put her foot down. Her son, her Daewon, would go to a Korean school.

Whatever Daewon was expecting at his new school, he didn’t get it. He thought it would be perfect. He thought he’d be accepted right away, make lots of new friends right off the bat. But of course, nothing is ever perfect. Nothing ever comes as easily as wanted. Daewon learned the hard way that his father wasn’t the only person he’d have to fight to claim himself as Korean. His new classmates thought he was a foreigner, not of their world. And in someways, he wasn’t. There were things that his grandparents didn’t, couldn’t prepare him for. Some cultural nuances, generational trends, he had to learn on his own. He persisted. Through force of will and a cheerful personality, Daewon won over many of his classmates. He’d always have his detractors but at least now Daewon felt as though he belonged, at least a little.

Daewon’s new friends didn’t share the burden of being in a foregn country the way his old school friends had. They were freer, it seemed to Daewon. They explored their talents and interests, shared them with each other. It was through these new friends that Daewon found his talent for rap. He’d always been drawn to music; he had guitar lessons, sang in school productions, but Daewon had never tried to rap. For a kid, he had a decent flow, good expressions. Daewon began writing his own raps after a while. It felt… freeing. Like he could finally say all the things he’d always been too afraid to. Like he finally had an outlet for all the frustration he’d felt fighting to just be who he was.

When Daewon was fourteen, he and his friends all made a pact. They’d heard from some older students about auditions for MSG. If they could pass the auditions, if they could debut, then the whole country would be able to hear their music. Being teenagers, they couldn’t see a downside. Eight went into the auditions, but only two passed. One of them was Daewon.

At first, Daewon didn’t want to continue after his audition. What was the point if most of his friends wouldn’t be there? It wasn’t like his dad would approve, anyway. He’d just chalk it up to a fun experience. Daewon didn’t expect the support he got. His friends, while a little jealous, yes, wanted to see him succeed. His siblings thought the whole thing was just cool. His grandparents were proud of him, his mother, too. Most surprisingly of all, his father supported it. David Scott realized, somewhat belatedly, that his son would never, no matter how hard he tried, have the same life he did. He would have his own experiences. He had his own talents. Daewon cried the day his father told him that. Tears of shock and yes, happiness.  He would be an MSG trainee. He would become an idol.

Like everything, it seemed, being a trainee was harder than Daewon expected. Long hours practicing, instructors who didn’t care if he was just a kid. No one seemed to care that a daily schedule of before school practice, school, afterschool practice and homework might’ve been a bit much for a fourteen year old. Daewon wanted to quit many times, but his friends, his family were always there to motivate him. Though he sometimes forgot, being a trainee reminded Daewon of just how lucky he was. He pressed on.

Weeks turned into months, months into years. By the time Daewon was chosen for 1nferno’s final lineup, he wasn’t the same kid he’d been when he auditioned. He hit a growth spurt, his voice was lower. Most importantly, though, he was polished. Gone was the small, ungainly kid and in his place was a practice performer. He was vibrant, charismatic on stage and off. Confident in ways he’d never been. It was easy to see why management gave him a carefree and playful image to go along with the group’s debut boy next door concept. Being a young kid, just barely old enough to drink at the time of his debut, it seemed a perfect fit. Excited just to be debuting, Daewon even accepted the use of an old childhood nickname, Danny, as his stagename. He hadn’t been called that in years, but it was alright. The world would finally get to hear his music and that was what mattered.

While the groups concepts varied wildly over the ensuing years, 1nferno’s Danny stayed the same. To the world, he was still a kid. Quick to tease or crack a joke. The public expected him to do silly, sometimes dangerous things and he did them. More than once, he was injured in such a stunt, limiting his ability to perform. MSG seemed happy with the result regardless. Danny quickly became a variety favorite known for his willingness to do anything. This earned him a brief stint as a recurring guest host on Weekly Idol, among other appearances. Danny was always a joy to have grace the tv screen.

But Daewon is not Danny. Not all the time. In the same way that he wasn’t Daniel. After nearly three years, the act has grown weary. Repeated injuries and constant comebacks have Daewon feeling tired, run down at only 20. It becomes harder and harder to keep up the happy façade his image requires. Daewon wishes things would slow down, that the demands on him would lessen instead of increase. He wants the time to rest, to work on his own music. He wants to be able to put out songs that speak to his experience, that have his voice. It’s what he’s always wanted but he’s grown tired of waiting. Still, the world turns and MSG, 1nferno and the matches continue to expect a bright, cheerful Danny, so Danny he will remain. At least for now.

#id.bio #id.msg #id.inferno #id.chwe hansol #id.league

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S MAIN RAP, LEAD VOCAL AROON BANTHAO...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Aroon CURRENT AGE: 24 DEBUT AGE: 21 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 16 COMPANY: Midas ETC: This member is known for his work as a rap soloist as well as lyric writing

IDOL IMAGE

At his audition Aroon tells the staff he is coachable, ready to be molded into whatever they want and they laugh in between them, thinking he is just an eager kid desperate for a chance, who will say just anything to get it. But he is not lying and after years of training it’s easy to see that Aroon can indeed turn into anything they tell him to.

They want intense choreography? Aroon delivers (within his limitations, he is not a dancer first, after all). They want a bad boy? He does it. They want soft and ideal boyfriend? He gives that too. But it’s when his real personality meets their expectations that they find what maybe one day will be the perfect image for him.

“For a rapper you’re not very…” his trainer gestures, searches for words. “Hard.”

It’s not a bad thing, they tell him. It’s different from all the boys who try too hard to be whatever American rapper is playing on the radio. His image is less about swag, about slangs he doesn’t understand, and more about the performance itself, the way his low register voice is projected.

They would tell him to be quiet if they could, Aroon knows. But he is not the only non-korean in the group and 1nferno is not going to be successful with all silent types, so they change their approach, give Aroon the soft, charming image. He talks most of the time because his korean is good and soon management learns that people love the way he smiles, his boy next door ways.

The fans start to call him prince and Aroon learns how to feed into the image, to be seen helping the staff and bringing blankets to fans on fan meetings, to always smile bright when he is happy, smile even more when he isn’t. As 1nferno enter their third year Midas start to slowly shift his image from the perfect prince into something sassy, teasing and flirty, the one who can say questionable things ( “do you know my fans call me confident guy?” aroon asks on an interview, smirking because he knows guy is not the term they use to describe him at all. ) because it’s part of his charm.

It’s the duality between his smiling persona out of the stage and the intense performer when the music hits that makes Aroon’s fame, and Midas finally learns that he meant when he said he would be anything they wanted as long as he could debut.

IDOL HISTORY

Imagine this:

You’re ten years old, your parents already have your whole life planned for you. You are skipping the mandatory army service because you’re rich, and the world doesn’t work the same for you as it does for the other boys. You are going to college, you are marrying a pretty girl, someone with kind eyes and kinder personality, who will forgive your mistakes and love you no matter what. You are going to succeed, because failure is not an option.

This is the first lesson Aroon’s parents tell him: Failing is not for people like them, who are better than others, who are made of greatness. They expect big things of him, they tell little Aroon, because no one on his family is ever a failure, no one ever stopped from getting the things they wanted.

(“You again.” it’s the same woman from the past year, she had longer hair, but Aroon recognizes her. “Still trying?”

“Failing is not an option.” Aroon says in ways of greetings. Because it’s what he has been taught.

And because he can’t go back home. Not again.)

His mother was leader of the debate club, his father was a star soccer player, Aroon inherited the best of both worlds, they say. Every time they talk it’s not like they talk about a marriage, like having a child and raising him, it’s more like an experiment, like they were forced to have him, the perfect son (patent still pending), like soon Aroon will be taken to lab and dissected so other couples can have perfect children like him.

It doesn’t fuck him up, growing up with the pressure. Of course not.

It forges him.

(“Would you consider yourself a coachable person?”

“Absolutely.”)

Picture a scene:

A thirteen year old, beautiful features and beautiful bank account, school uniform ironed perfectly, top three percent of the class. Aroon knows what popularity is because everyone likes him, everyone wants to be his friend, all the girls want to date him because he would be the perfect boyfriend (patent still pending). He gets a taste of it and it’s addicting, all the eyes on him, his peers showering him with attention – and so what if it’s still the same “you’re so perfect” way, it comes in different voices and different touches and Aroon craves it.

He is fourteen when they tell him to find a girlfriend, so Aroon does; she is a girl with kind eyes and kinder personality, who is so easy to get along it’s like she was made for him. He can picture them thirty years from now, telling their grandkids about how they met at school and knew they would be together forever. They kiss and Aroon doesn’t feel like the books and tv shows told him he was supposed to, but maybe it’s because he is too young, maybe it’s because he isn’t trying enough.

She has an older brother and they talk a lot. He is the one who shows Aroon all about rap, who takes him to his first concert and who teaches him how to write his first lyrics. They suck, but Aroon likes it, the freedom, the feeling of his pen scribbling paper, of speaking it fast.

They get drunk together – Aroon is too young to be drinking and too perfect to do it in public, but in the privacy of his bedroom he can be less than perfect for once – when his girlfriend is away on a girl’s trip.

They kiss and Aroon feels.

Just that.

He feels.

(“Who taught you to write raps?”

Aroon blinks. Seconds seem like centuries.

There is a faint memory of a boy.

“No one.”)

He breaks up with his girlfriend, tells her all the usual excuses: It’s him, not her, she is great, she will find someone else blablabla. He tells his parents he wants to be a rapper. In South Korea. They look at him like he has gone crazy and they laugh. Aroon is serious.

“I’m leaving to audition next summer.” it’s not a question. Aroon never asks for permission, he does things his way and deals with the consequences. He is the perfect son, nothing he does can go wrong anyway.

He has to come back home because no one accepted him. Failure is not an option, so Aroon doesn’t give up, he can’t stay there, can’t stay where he isn’t as perfect as he thought, where he can see all his flaws and feel them under his skin when he remembers of kissing a boy.

(“You’re not giving up.” the same woman tells him the following year.

“No.”)

Aroon is sixteen when he is offered a contract, many responsibilities dumped on a boy, no guarantee that he will ever debut. That is what they say the most: Nothing is for sure, you have to work for everything. It’s different from home where he was the perfect boy, where his parents would handle him everything and his friends would give anything to hang out with him.

In South Korea he is just another boy, not the most intelligent or the most skilled and Aroon hates it. They turn everything into a competition, all the trainees seem to be fighting even for the air they breathe, nothing comes for free, not really. For the first time in his life Aroon is told to practice more, to work harder for he is not the best.

He hates it, every second of it.

But it’s easy to hate the system than to hate himself and his flaws, it’s easy to look at the other boys and pretend he hates them because they are more skilled, because they dance better, sing better than to think he may like them more than in a platonic way. It’s easier to push the feelings and thoughts away when he has to stay on the company’s building until late hours dancing on his own. Everything else becomes unimportant when he can go back to the dorm and throw himself into a dreamless sleep.

They pick him apart and show him everything he does wrong, but it’s never because of who he is, it’s because of what he can do, and in some twisted way that is much better. Aroon can train more, he can push himself harder, he can do it until he is good enough for them, until he is the perfect boy again.

Imagine this:

You’re twenty one and you’re in a room with other four boys, all who you consider your competition. You know each other well because you study each other every day in addition to studying how to sing and rap and dance: You know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and quirks and you hate and like each other depending on the day of the week. You will debut on a group together, so you better make this work.

But before they throw Aroon into some competition show, tell him it’s for exposure, tell him people will love him because it’s impossible to hate that face (after the convenient nose job he got). Aroon hates it, competing. It crushes him every minute, but he doesn’t give up. Not until they are debuting and Aroon falls sick and they pull him from the show. He did good, they tell him, he served his purpose.

Aroon hates it.

1nferno. It’s an okay name, he thinks. His parents come all the way from Thailand to watch his debut showcase and his mother cries. It’s the most embarrassing thing but Aroon likes it. Of course he would make it, his parents tell him, he is the perfect boy and now the perfect member.

It crushes him, how everything is ten times harder than as a trainee. Turns out people can hate him, can talk about flaws and problems, but Aroon doesn’t pay attention to them. Because the truth is, people can also love him too much, people who have never seen him in person, who never saw him throw a fit because he is the last one to shower, or who never saw him cry because he got a choreography right.

Aroon loves it.

They call him a prince and Aroon basks in the adoration, makes it the reason to get up and perform, even when 1nferno is not as successful as he hoped, even when things don’t happen the way he wanted them to. But one year turns into two and soon Aroon is given chances to write lyrics, soon he has his names on the credits and things are better.

One year turns into two and 1nferno is still going strong. They make it work, somehow. It’s still difficult, or even more, because now they have some baggage, people expect things from them, they expect results, expect success, expect the goddamn Midas touch. Matches still love him dearly, give him crowns to wear on fan meetings, write about how would be to marry him (and other things, but that is disturbing, so Aroon doesn’t think about it much) and it’s enough to keep him going.

Two years turn into three and here they are, still going. They still make it work, somehow. It’s still difficult, of course it is, but Aroon is in control now. He has his members and his lyrics and he is still the perfect Aroon that started this journey. He knows he is not going to marry a pretty girl with kind eyes and it’s a boy who makes him feel things when they kiss but it’s okay, it’s nothing to run away from.

It’s who he is, and that makes him perfect.

#id.bio #id.midas #id.inferno #id.chittaphon leechaiyapornkul

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S MAIN VOCAL BAE HYUKJAE...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Samuel CURRENT AGE: 24 DEBUT AGE: 21 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 16 COMPANY: Midas ETC: Due to his extensive charity work and clean image he’s known as the nation’s man of good influence

IDOL IMAGE

he’s the ‘all-american boy’, always pulling out english words in the middle of an interview and everyone finds it endearing, almost as if he forgot what he was going to say (and sometimes, he does) but most people think it’s adorable. but not really, no. what samuel did was very simple: he used his resources.

the whole thing about: if you got it, flaunt it? he flaunts it.

he’s the one who wears the cute animals hats, the one who tilts his head from one side and then to the other, catering to the more-than-in-love fans who can’t get enough of his cuteness. he doesn’t mind it, he thinks it’s fun, he thinks it’s a good way to win the fans’ love. he’s not even embarrassed by it, because many are. but he’s not, because if he has it? he flaunts it.

that’s what everyone told him when he was a trainee, anyway.

“use this. use that. no, no, not that. yes! that! that is perfect.”

he listened. he learned.

maybe it was the gentleness in his heart or the fact he was always taught to follow the rules, who knows? at the end of the day, he followed every single thing he was told to do, just as every trainee must.

“maybe say ‘oh my god!” when you’re surprised, they’re gonna love you.”

he said it.

“you should definitely wear this. they will adore you.”

he wore it.

hyukjae has always been perfectly crafted to be the sweet one, to be the one who stands between their group mates when they’re all jokingly having beef with each other, to be the one who laughs at everyone’s jokes and subsequently, to be the one telling the silliest jokes. which people laugh at because they happen out of nowhere more often than not.

and he’s okay with all of it because if he has it, you guessed it, he should flaunt it, right?

spontaneity is important, after all, and while he might not be the loudest personality in the group, he knows how to speak. with a calm, yet direct and articulated tone, samuel speaks with grace and knows exactly how to connect his brain to mouth filter, always making sure to say the right things, careful not to say anything controversial (and so far? so good).

but this image doesn’t work with anyone, or at least, not with a few eager to know about his past. what is he exactly hiding behind those sweet, gentle eyes? no one really knows, and they don’t really like it. despite the image midas has tried so hard to shine upon him, people see beyond all of it (or rather, they don’t see enough) and that is a good reason to not trust him, immediately turning into doubters, into ‘haters’ if you will.

not everyone is going to like you, and everyone knows that. so hyukjae focuses on the positives, on trying not to care much about doubters and people who want to know about his past and focus on what matters: on being a kind person. because the catch is simple: he is. he’s always the one being the nice one, the kind one, and not because midas fabricated it. it’s because he is.

the fans see, love & appreciate how outspoken he is towards animals, how he’s always asking people to consider adopting a pet, how he’s always asking fans to not give him expensive gifts and instead to donate that money to a charity of their choosing (although he always suggests donating to animal shelters). while he tries to do charity on the side, not wanting anyone to know about it, it usually comes out and the fans cannot stop praising him for it.

and it’s truly the little things, isn’t it? perhaps he doesn’t have the most flattering past (or at all) and perhaps the company keeps pressuring him into creating whatever sob story he can come up with. but he doesn’t. because hyukjae pushes samuel to work as hard as he can, to be the best he can be, to be kind and good to others and for the fans to see that.

not the fabrications, but him. just him.

IDOL HISTORY

no one ever understood how his mother married that man. when you put things into perspective? he didn’t either.

she was young. he was ten years older than her. no one really thought the age gap was an issue, the issue could be found somewhere else: he wasn’t a good person. but she didn’t think too much of it, she was young, in love, eager to be one of those school girls who get involved with the bad guys, with the rebel ones. luckily (or unluckily) for her? she got what she wanted. the wedding came only 7 months after they started dating, and not exactly because they were deeply in love with each other (no, his mother claims she fell out of love three weeks into their relationship), but because she got pregnant.

one and then another.

the bae family then decided to move to the united states, to be more specific: chicago, illinois. a year later, bae jiohami gave birth to a healthy baby boy they named ‘hyukjae’, much to her husband’s discontent. the delusion creeping further into his brain everyday; if they were in america now, why keep holding on so hard to their roots? it didn’t make sense to him.

and so, years passed by, where his mother was used to the comfort of a home and his father was used to having someone willing to keep the house clean everyday. essentially, his parents were conformists.

but he surely wasn’t.

hyukjae was the boy who pranced around their place, singing, dancing, disguising himself and pretending to be the star of a show. he was the boy who dreamed, the boy who wanted to reach for the stars, the boy who knew this kind of life wasn’t for him, no, no. he wanted more and he was going to aim for more.

he turned four years old and his father decided they had enough of illinois and decided the whole family should now move to los angeles, california. of course, the boy was more than excited, that was the place where all of the big music and tv stars were, right? and he wanted to be one of them, one of those big music and tv people. what he didn’t know, however, was the reason why. his father’s version? they wanted to find better life opportunities. the real version? his father was afraid. he was afraid of getting caught; a scammer always on the run. he fooled people. he stole from them. he took things he shouldn’t possess. he was bad, and he didn’t want to be held accountable for his actions; so he ran and took his family with him. first from seoul, then from chicago.

adapting? it wasn’t easy. he was only four almost five when he was put to test, when he was told he had to learn another language, when he had to sit with his kindergarten teacher during recess because she was kind enough to teach him as much as she could. at home? his mother did her best. his father did nothing. his older brothers didn’t care. so he realized: he was on his own.

the only thing his father ever did was to suggest a ‘name change’. something that “will make you fit in with everyone else”, and although his mother wasn’t too happy about it, his father convinced her when he suggested the name ‘samuel’.

“it means name of god, darling. it fits him right, doesn’t it?”

and yet, even though easily manipulated, there was one thing he had to applaud to his mother, and that was the passion she gave him. the fire she used to motivate him. even if her english wasn’t good, she tried and at the same time encouraged him to listen to his teachers, to soak in as much as he could, to reach his goals, to make his dreams come true. she tried the same with his brothers, but they weren’t interested at all, no. they were interested in the easy money, in the bad things dad used to do.

except he didn’t ‘use��� to do those things and hyukjae learned that when he was nine.

whenever his father would take him and his brothers out, he’d try to encourage him to steal from people, to pickpocket them. after all, he was a child, who would suspect him? in his father’s words? no one. but hyukjae was terrified at the idea, he was embarrassed to even imagine himself doing such thing, so he didn’t, and every time he refused? he had to face severe consequences.

could he even fight it? no chance.

to suppress the pain, the boy with the dreams kept fighting for them. at school, he was the one who now sat down with his friends and tried to teach them korean. some thought it was silly, some thought it was cool. soon, hyukjae had built a reputation for himself, and luckily, a good one. most of the girls were enamored by his passion, because he didn’t care about singing down the hallways or about auditioning for the school plays, casually always getting the lead roles. he was loved and admired and he was happy about it. very.

but not everything is roses, that is for sure.

when he was thirteen, the chance of “his life” (or so he claimed back then) arrived. a tv show was holding auditions for kids, talented kids. do you know how to sing? dance? do a trick? have a special talent? it didn’t matter! that was the perfect opportunity for any kid who wanted to start a career. he told his mother about it, because he knew his father wouldn’t approve of it. she was elated with the idea so they secretly planned to sneak out of home very early to go to the audition.

that, however, didn’t happen.

unaware that one of his brothers was listening to their conversation, the news didn’t take long to get to his father’s ears, who completely forbid him (and his mother) from going. at the time? she gave up. she said ‘okay’. she turned to hyukjae and apologized. and him? what else could a thirteen year old do if it wasn’t to reassure his mother everything was fine? not much else.

days later, while his father and brothers were sleeping, his mother pulled him out of bed, got him dressed, gave him a backpack with his belongings and said; “we’re going to follow your dreams. let’s go.”

because for once and for him? she’d do anything. she had submitted herself for so long, she had done everything her husband wanted and that was fine as long as he only wanted to mess with her. but when he dared mess with her son? with his dreams? she wouldn’t allow that. she wasn’t leaving america completely happy, however, because she was leaving her two older sons behind, but what could she do when they were the same kind of people her husband was? nothing. and if she could save hyukjae from following their steps? she would.

going back to south korea wasn’t easy. it wasn’t like hyukjae entirely forgot the language (especially because korean was what they used when at home), but adapting? it was hard. he didn’t feel any kind of connection to his roots due to his father’s obsession, and perhaps it had been easy for his four year old self when he had to learn a whole new language and culture, but now as a teenager, it wasn’t easy at all. his classmates weren’t easy either. he was mocked because they had this “idea” he thought he was better than them only because he came from america.

it was not okay, but he pushed himself into believing it was just for the sake of ignoring it and focusing on what truly mattered: his career.

when he had just turned fifteen, hyukjae attended his very first audition at kjh global creative. the line was long and he was intimidated. he saw so many kids, some singing, some dancing, some just trying to look pretty. he didn’t think he was a great dancer, but he did trust his singing abilities, he always did! from his perspective? he thought he did well. and maybe he did, but it wasn’t enough. maybe he was too late, maybe there were far more talented kids in that line, who knows? either way, his mother didn’t allow him to feel disappointed. “you’ll make it next time, i promise.”

his next time came a year later, his mother worked hard to afford singing and dancing lessons for him so this time, he felt much more confident about himself. much more ready and prepared for it. and this time? it was midas media’s turn. just as it was also his turn to prove himself. and he did.

his mother was elated, happy that her son was just one step away from making his dreams come true. but they surely didn’t know that the process wouldn’t be easy at all, though.

everything he practiced as a kid, everything he learned during those singing and dancing classes prior to signing seemed like “nothing” compared to his trainee days. it was exhausting, it was almost painful. he put his entire heart, his entire soul, his entire mind into it. he gave his all, not only professionally, but personally too. he wanted to stand out, he wanted to shine, he wanted to show the world he could be whoever he wanted to be and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that if he didn’t give his 200% to this. so he did.

and so, five years later, 1nferno happened and he was starstruck. was that a dream? was he about to be woken up by his father? get told he was an idiot for believing he’d make it this far? nope, that didn’t happen. this was real and it hit him to think: that all of those years he spent practicing? that all of those years he spent training? they truly weren’t the beginning of his journey, no. this was.

but then he’s starts getting too fabricated. then he’s being asked to say and do things that can make him stand out because he’s always just /there/, he’s always just /behind/. so he started pulling out the english (a thing he had put in the back of his mind when his korean classmates mocked him for it), he started pulling his ‘cute’ stunts, he started trying to crack jokes. he pulled all of the stops and some work and some don’t, but he keeps trying.

for someone who only wanted to sing? he thought he was doing okay.

that is, until everyone wanted to know more about him. yes, he was born and had spent most part of his life in america, and? what happened over there? yes, he has a family, and? where are they? why does he only talk about his mother? why is his father not being mentioned? how about his siblings? what happened to them?

there were many questions and he didn’t have the answers. or he did, he just didn’t want to share them. he got asked to fabricate them, but he couldn’t do that either. so the people started to mistrust him. they started to think there was something fishy about him. so sure, samuel bae is talented, sweet, cute, he’s kind and he loves animals, he caters to his fans and he does anything to keep everyone happy.

but some people still think his life situation is.. shady.

so the speculations started to rain on him. “his father is probably dead, so it’s horrible he doesn’t want to talk about him.”, “what if his brothers did something bad?”, “i bet his family was involved in some sort of crime, maybe that’s why he avoids talking about them.”

there’s a new theory everyday. a new rumor. a new something.

in the same fashion, there are new fabrications on his shoulders. maybe if he acts a different way, maybe if he tones something down, maybe if he starts doing something new. maybe. maybe. maybe. maybe they’ll leave him alone.

but they don’t and they won’t and hyukjae is aware of it. he’s aware that people will dig and dig and dig until they get the truth, and while they don’t get it? they’ll create, create and create until he gives up and speaks up. but he won’t, he won’t because he’s only human, because that’s something he wants to keep to himself, at least that.

because in the end? he’s only a boy with dreams.

#id.bio #id.midas #id.inferno #id.hong jisoo

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S MAIN DANCE, LEAD RAP KYO SEOKYUNG...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 24 DEBUT AGE: 22 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 16 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: Lyric writing

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): ‘seo’ & ‘kyungie’ (he hates this one, fans are aware but still call him that to mess with him.) INSPIRATION: his will and drive to inspire others to follow their dreams. his beloved matches too, because they’ve always been by his side through it all, and he has promised them over and over again that he’ll always work hard for as long as they want him to. SPECIAL TALENTS:

he can write backwards, like mirror writing.

he can solve math problems in his head pretty fast.

no blinking contests? don’t worry, he can win that easily.

NOTABLE FACTS:

spent three years of his life studying in spain, thus is fluent in spanish.

has a youtube channel he uses as a platform to get closer to his fans and so he can give them updates about his life. 

known to be the son of a very wealthy ceo in south korea; though, he barely talks about him or his mother. some people believe he’s only in the industry thanks to his family’s money.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

he hopes he’ll be able to keep doing what he’s doing at the moment. he wants to keep writing music and wants to keep catering to his loving fans with his youtube channel. watching 1nferno thrive is certainly number one in his list of priorities and he doesn’t mind putting extra hours of work if that’s what it takes.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

writing! his soul has always connected with pen and paper. he wants to write music for 1nferno and be an even bigger part of its legacy (or the one he hopes him and the rest of his group mates will be able to build). he also wishes to write for other groups and hopefully stick to it for a long time. as anyone else, he wants to make a name for himself and he wants to write a book. but most importantly? he wants to separate himself from his family. while he’s aware he’ll have to carry their name for the rest of his life, he wants to stay away from them, he doesn’t wish to be associated with them and can only hope the future will allow him to do so.

IDOL IMAGE

who is kyo seokyung? that is an excellent question. ever since his first day as a trainee, msg knew two things about him: he was smart and well-spoken. maybe it had a lot to do with his family, but that didn’t matter, what mattered is that they had someone who could deliver the ‘diplomatic’ answers, someone who could answer ‘risky’ questions, if at all, and give rather ‘decent’ answers. During interviews, seokyung isn’t loud or obnoxious, he’s mostly calm and collected, flashing a smile here and there, running his fingers through his hair, “looking pretty” if you will, just being the “company” boy msg wants him to be, just as they expected since he was a teenager. but he’s funny and he’s witty when the occasion asks for it; he will show his talents and smile, or laugh it off if he’s too embarrassed. he has charm and he always puts it to good use.

he has poise, he has grace, he’s elegant and he’s kind. despite him being humble about it and often mentioning he “is not perfect”, msg most definitely wants everyone to believe so. but he’s right, he isn’t. in reality, seokyung is quite different than the person the fans think he is. while yes, said poise and grace still lives within him, he’s far from being kind, often feeling annoyed by various life frustrations, snapping when things don’t go his way. he’s serious, he’s quiet, he barely wants to talk and act fake in front of the cameras, but he must.

the thing is, he’s just really good at pretending, like any other idol in the industry. and with the family he has, how could he not be?

the company has often pushed him to be the one to give the ‘corporate’ answers most people want to hear. his fans are sure he truly is incapable of doing something wrong, of doing something problematic, something that could get him in trouble because he’s just /that/ good at what he does, he’s great when it comes down to wearing that mask.

most people think seokyung is being one hundred percent authentic during his videos and actually? he is most of the time. but everything is also being controlled and monitored by his company. if a video is slightly controversial, he gets asked to do it all over again. If he says something that could be deemed as scandalous, he immediately gets asked to tone it down or twist it around. he’s a master of manipulation, a tactic he learned from his family. he just knows how to become a person he just isn’t in any kind of occasion.

and yet, he still makes sure to show a bit of who he truly is during his videos. the relaxed guy who has no problem in being bare-faced, who sits outside of 1nferno’s dorm and allows to be sunkissed while he talks about anything that comes to mind. he encourages others to follow their dreams, fight for what they believe in and to believe in themselves. things he sometimes can’t do for himself. but everyone eats it up and no one will complain about it.

but the pressure to be this ‘perfect individual’ does get to him at times. he has to be extremely careful with his steps, because at the end of the day, when the cameras aren’t rolling? he knows he’s not the person people want him to be and if he were to ever do something bad? he’d lose his fans’ trust and that would hurt him deeply, also taking away from him the one thing he’s worked so hard for for years. being perfect is clearly impossible, but seokyung pressures himself so much to ‘be perfect’ that his most loyal fans actually believe it.

there is just one thing that is actually real, honest and sincere and that’s his love for his fans. seokyung makes sure to cater to them in any way possible, because the love he gets from them is actually something he appreciates. this shows, of course, and while the company might think this is all an act, it is for sure, the only honest thing about him. when it comes down to his group mates, he protects and takes care of them when the cameras are and aren’t rolling; yet just another little thing the fans love about him.

pretending perfection, however, will cost him a lot in the long run. he’s aware of it, but he will keep riding on that for as long as he can.

IDOL HISTORY

born with a silver spoon in his mouth could be deemed by something positive for most, but he would beg to differ. his grandfather is the founder of an important electronics company in south korea, a company that his father obviously inherited. in a sense, you could say seokyung was supposed to be the next in line to take over the company and follow his family’s steps.

his mother? a gentle-looking-stay-at-home mom, or as many called her: a trophy wife. up to this day, he’s not entirely sure his sister and him were conceived because their parents loved each other, instead, because there was a contract between them. this, though, is something he cannot confirm and are just mere speculations he came up with.

him? a good kid with an artistic soul, someone who spent most of his time studying to make his parents proud and giving his little sister the attention they were clearly not giving her. he put his entire heart and soul into giving her the best kind of life he could, into making her laugh, entertaining her with whatever jokes, doing his best to be someone she could look up to. his parents, however, were more busy attending parties, always putting themselves, their name and their reputation first. the rest was simply secondary.

an important husband, a beautiful wife, two lovely children. it was truly the picture perfect family for every magazine out there. the wealth was real, but the happiness wasn’t. there’s plenty of people and factors that come into play when it comes to the kyo’s and why they can’t reach true happiness.

with that said, let’s talk about seokyung’s uncle.

up to this day, he still wonders if his uncle’s motives had anything to do with the fact he wasn’t the next in line to inherit the company or if he’s simply just a piece of shit. due to his father’s job, he was barely around to ever give his children a second glance. his brother “promised” to be the fatherly figure seokyung and his little sister sunhee needed, often spending time at the kyo’s and pretending to be a good person. but he wasn’t. his uncle never missed an opportunity to verbally and physically hurt seokyung, however, he never messed with sunhee and not because he didn’t want to, but because seokyung never allowed it; taking the punishment she was “supposed” to receive instead. of course, that man always played innocent, like he was the perfect father both kids deserved. this of course, also included berating seokyung’s dreams of becoming a writer, his talent and his creativity. he was only a kid with dreams, who was getting forced to grow up way too soon.

when doing something bad to seokyung, he always excused himself by saying; “this is what happens to badly behaved kids.”

then there’s his father.

when seokyung was only ten years old, he approached his father and revealed the truth about his uncle. about how terrible and how evil he actually was towards him and his sister. his father believed him, but didn’t do a thing about it. why, you wonder? because speaking up about it would result in a big scandal, because publicly accusing his brother of hurting his children would put their reputation in danger and… he couldn’t allow that.

instead, he gave his son some advice; “man up.”

his mother wasn’t any better.

his father didn’t help, so seokyung approached his mother. he knew it would be useless, because his own mother was often home, so she surely had an idea of what was happening. but she never interfered, she never defended him, she never defended his sister. she remained silent and looked into her child’s eyes, as he cried and explained how terrifying it was to live that way. he knew that the only reason why she never did anything about it was because she was terrified of losing the fortune she had thanks to his father.

she could only say one thing; “i’m so sorry i can’t do anything.”

his grandfather was probably the worst.

both his parents refused to help, so he approached the only man that could possibly do something against his son. however, when presented with the facts, his grandfather categorically denied it, claiming his son would never mistreat his nephew and niece, claiming he was a good and kind man who wouldn’t ever dare do something like that.

he ended the pointless conversation with a sentence; “…and even if it was true, it is none of my business.”

but he’s convinced he’s the bad guy of the story.

because he didn’t leave. because he didn’t stand up to any of them, becase he simply sulked and let people step on him and his sister. because he didn’t feel strong enough to fight, because he didn’t do anything to change the situation. because he simply let it be. there was no other way to solve it, so he simply let it be.

until he had enough. when seokyung turned twelve, he decided it was time to confront his family, that it was time to speak up, that it was time to let the entire world know the kind of people they were and all the things and damage they had caused to him and sunhee. but the problem about the young seokyung was very clear: he underestimated his father and his power. to avoid the young boy from speaking up (and of course, to punish him for almost ruining their reputation), his father shipped him off to a private school in spain.

and then, there he was, alone, in another continent, another country, unfamiliar with the language and the culture shock hitting him like a bunch of rocks stuffed in a bag. so he cried every night, he wrote letters to sunhee, letting her know he would be back someday and that he’d make sure to get her out of there. he promised to give her the life both of them deserved, and he was confident in his promise.

overall, the teachers were good and kind people who did their best to teach him spanish and help him adapt, but even then, they noticed how hard it was for him to socialize, how hard it was for him to approach others. there was only one thing seokyung liked about being away from home and that was a girl in his class. she was pretty, smart and funny (or so he assumed because everyone laughed at her jokes). but he never dared to approach her, because every time he thought about it, he felt like passing out.

but there was one thing he did know about that girl: she loved dancing. he knew because that was the extracurricular she took everyday. of course, when his teachers approached him and suggested he should look into extracurricular activities so he could distract himself more and adapt to others? he didn’t think about it twice and signed up for the dance club.

he’s awkward at first, he feels like he moves terribly and has two left feet, but also because he’s the only boy in the club. the girls find it fascinating, but the rest of the kids never miss an opportunity to bully him about it. it’s fine, he always told himself, he had gone through worse. this time, at least, he can dance in the back and admire the girl, the way she moves, so graciously, so perfectly, and he wants to be at her level. so he didn’t half-ass it, he practiced and practiced a lot.

there’s one side, the one who has him learning spanish, sometimes messing up, sometimes doing really well, and it’s just enough to push him by through school life. there’s the kids hiding his things, the kids pushing him around, the kids calling him derogatory names, giving him a taste of another form of cruelty towards him. but it’s fine, he told himself, because one day he’d be old enough to leave this place.

then there’s the other side, the one where he shuts everyone out at night and he writes. he wrote stories, he wrote poems, he wrote music. sometimes inspired by melancholy, sometimes inspired by his feelings for the girl. there’s him getting good grades, there’s him excelling and looking his best at every dance class, there’s him triumphing everyday, and he was loving the rhythm. it had been slow at first, but he started to progress.

but as usual, his family won’t let him have that.

his father decided spending three years in a foreign country should be enough to learn your lesson, so he takes him back home and seokyung had to say goodbye to school, to his progress, to dancing and to her. but at least he’ll be able to see sunhee, and hopefully now, things at home will be way better than how they were when he left.

but he’s wrong.

the version of sunhee that he met was a different one. the smile on his sister’s face is no longer there and his jokes didn’t work anymore. his sister is haunted and there’s no feeling in the world that can explain how he felt, how angry it made him. that was when he decided he had to do something, he had to get him, but mostly her, out of that place. although seokyung doesn’t deem himself as a very talented kid, he thinks his moves are average and that could possibly give him a ticket to the freedom he was looking for.

getting permission from his parents to audition wasn’t a hard task whatsoever. if anything? they were glad because keeping him away would take a lot of weight off their shoulders. his dad, with his fake-interest and all, even took the young teen to the audition. it was convenient for him to stay, it was convenient for everyone. maybe if he got what he wanted? seokyung would stop nagging them about his problems.

and then there he was, at msg entertainment. getting a spot there wasn’t easy at all, especially when you’re up against a bunch of kids he thought were extremely talented. but he gets signed because as usually, he didn’t half-ass his audition, he went in, did his best and got the opportunity.

this allowed him to stay away from his family. he preferred spending hours upon hours training to perfect his craft than be at home and be berated for whatever reason. he was having the time of his life despite his exhaustion and despite his frustration when something didn’t go well during practice.

so okay, he can dance, but what else could he do? this was the first time he was being encouraged to learn something new, the first time he was encouraged to work on his abilities, to just get better. his parents never did, they couldn’t care less about him getting better at anything. sure, he knew what it entailed to be here and that was why he was training. but nevertheless, he had to put on a lot of effort, not only physical, but emotional as well.

when they found out he could speak spanish, they absolutely loved it. he loved bragging about it to the other trainees and to ‘demonstrate’ how good he was, he would speak long, quick sentences. if he could do that in a foreign language, could he do the same thing in his native tongue? to test that out, they soon had him putting special focus on his rapping. clumsy at first, because there’s a big difference between one and the other, but if they wanted him to try and put this special “talent” of his to work? then, he had no choice but to make it work.

so he spent years working hard on his skills, getting better at each thing as much as he could. not only that, but the fact he was so smart and so well-spoken was clearly something the executives just loved about him. they knew there was still a lot of work to do, but so far? so good. they felt very confident on his abilities and knew that, if he kept up his hard work, he could be a big star.

it was still not easy, no matter the amount of talent he had and certainly lacked in other areas, trying to be ‘perfect’ wasn’t possible and he knew. he was, only human, after all. he wasn’t the best singer and he sometimes had trouble coordinating an ability with another. but he always told himself that his best had to be his best or else, he’d never be able to provide himself and sunhee of the life they truly deserved.

the tears, the exhaustion, the constant battles in his head worked in his favor eventually, because everything lead him to 1nferno, finally earning the ticket him and his sister needed to move on from their parents. he knew, though, that she would have to wait, that she would have to be patient, just a bit more. if she waited all those years, then she surely would be able to wait a few more.

he presents seokyung to the world, a different version to the real kyo seokyung, but everyone believes the fantasy he’s created of himself because he’s good at pretending. and how could he not be when all his life he had to pretend? when his family taught him that pretending was the best way you could do something in life?

when asked about his family, seokyung simply smiled and let everyone know his schedule barely allows him to see them, but wishes they are doing well.

this is a lie.

eventually, sunhee stops answering his letters, stops talking to him but before that, she tells him ‘you abandoned me’. he didn’t, he explains himself, but she doesn’t believe it. there’s nothing more he wants than to speak up, than to tell the entire world about his family, about his past. but he can’t, and he won’t. he has an image to uphold, his calm-centered and gentle one. he’s the one who likes answering questions, he’s the one who uses his poise and looks to almost-look-perfect. he can’t speak up because he would lose all of that.

he can’t speak up because people would realize that behind that face, there’s a life filled with torment, with pain, with lies, with mistreatment. he can’t allow anyone to see the scars beyond his smile. he can’t let anyone see the real him, not as long as he can help it. so he keeps being 1nferno’s seokyung, the boy who loves his group mates (although they might exasperate him if they’re too loud), the boy who loves and appreciates their fans, because they love him unconditionally. the boy who doesn’t take it easy, who works hard, who tries his best for his image to be close to impeccable. the boy who trains harder everyday, who will protect his friends from harm.

but he can’t show the real him to the world, the off-camera one, the one who’s not as warm as he shows himself to be, the one who’s quiet, the one who’s reserved, who barely cracks a joke. the one who reads, who writes, who pours his heart out using pen and paper. he can’t let them see the hate, the one he feels for his family, and himself. the one with the sharp tongue, who will fight anyone who messes with him but who will also use his voice to stand up for others.

it’s too bad, too bad he can’t stand up for himself.

so he keeps writing to sunhee, even if he never receives anything back but he hopes she’ll be able to forgive him one of these days. that she’ll be able to forgive him for finding a way to escape, for finding a way out. it wasn’t easy and maybe, just maybe, she will see that someday.

#id.bio #id.msg #id.inferno #id.lee taeyong #id.elite

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S MAIN VOCAL LIU DEQUAN...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Blue CURRENT AGE: 22 DEBUT AGE: 20 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 16 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: Hosting

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): Sunshine or Moody due to his stagename INSPIRATION: His parents have always been an inspiration to him, but after his fathers passing; he somehow got a little push. Wanting to make both of them proud even if it means going above and beyond expectations. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Owns over four plants that he takes care of himself 

Good at balancing things on his head

Drawing cats

NOTABLE FACTS:

Owns over four plants that he takes care of himself 

His mother now works as a fashion designer

Likes to paint as a way to release stress 

Is able to impersonate his favorite singers

Used to play volleyball in high school

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

Dequan had recently taken an interest on hosting in general, although he wasn’t sure which one he liked the most; he knew that being able to be some kind of public speaker was starting to bring him just as much joy. He’s still taking on opportunities with MC-ing on tv and co-hosting on the radio, wanting to experience everything so he could figure out which one he wanted to try out the most. Dequan still wants to write a little bit as well, lyrics may not come to him as easily as others but he wants to try and write a couple of songs for 1nferno one day, for now, he’s going to keep practicing and branch out more.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

It’ll be a dream come true if he can finally figure out what he really wants to do as a side job from singing, which would soon become clear that hosting on the radio would fit his personality more than doing it on camera and talking about one thing only. With the writing, he’s hopeful that he’ll get a chance to produce more with confidence and feel proud enough with the work he creates. Dequan plans on sitting down with the company and asking permission to start composing for the group, even one song is enough for him until he’s proven himself for more.

IDOL IMAGE

His gruff, outgoing personality and strong characteristics make Dequan easy to identify from the rest of his members, especially when his natural confidence and charming smile is flashed wherever the boy ventures off to. He is cool and confident - if not a little over-polished due to his own experience in the limelight and extra care he’s given to his image. The practice he was able to get due to the fame his own parents carried; always on high alert when it comes to being in public. Making it easy for the company to paint the right picture for a young man. It was almost like he was immune to it all, having a small amount of exposure to the entertainment industry in both China and now Korea; it resulted in the development of an open mind from the very beginning. As such, he isn’t one to be close-minded - he is smart and picked up on anything the company threw at him. Always being wholesome and grateful for everything he earns from hard work. He’s quite tolerant and accepting of things, most of the time.

But when he’s singing, on that stage doing what he loves and having the most fun with his members and fans - the singer mostly succeeds through the sheer force of his personality. He gets the name Sunshine because his smile is the brightest when he’s able to sing something that means so much to him when he takes out his earpiece and hears the echoes filling the arena and the light sticks creating a beautiful pink sea. It reminds him of how hard he’s worked to reach the goal he set at such a young age, pushing himself to not be perfect, but the best he can be as a singer. And with 1nferno constant concept change, Dequan tries to fit in as much as possible. Going from the Smiley boy to a fierce young man that sings with raw emotion and pure love for what he’s doing with his life.

IDOL HISTORY

TW: Parental Death

Defy gravity if you must to be accepted in this world you live in. Spring left just like his father did, leaving him with nothing but bright memories of a family that was once on top of the world. Now it’s broken fragments that made a hole in his heart. Dequan’s cries are carried by the wind, along with the summer breeze that tickles his damp cheeks, wet lashes kissing his tan skin with every tear. A sight that drives his mother into becoming a hero. The hero that her child needs. Why? Why did his father leave? He asked while clinging to the only reminder that the man once existed. A photograph that slowly fades in time.

See, Dequan was born as the first and only child in his family after many trials and failures. He was happy to have lived in a city that burst with life at every turn, where the people were more than happy to see them as his mother carried him around on the streets. But he grew up a little differently than the kids who came over to play, growing up in the limelight wasn’t always fun. He didn’t have a normal childhood, no matter how much his parents tried to make it as normal as possible; but prying eyes followed his every move and he was afraid. Dequan’s father was a composer for his mother who sang such beautiful lullabies whenever the small child couldn’t sleep. They always treat him right; they love him and they encourage Dequan to try his hardest, do things earlier than other kids, be the best he can be, love himself when others couldn’t love who he was. And he listened well, trying to be the best son he could be while watching over his image at a young age.

But all good things have to come to an end sooner than later. His father had passed away in an accident that took his life with a snap of a finger. Dequan was still so young but wise enough to understand that something wasn’t right in their home. The sudden tension had dropped, gone were the happy smiles and floating clouds that surrounded the once complete family. His weary mother embraces her only son, apologizing for the sudden death that was not her fault, it never was and never will be. A son who slowly grows up with the realization that there are reasons why his mother can never bring him to see his father because he was no longer with them. There were things he couldn’t worry about, like money, or what’ll happen to him and his mother now that their favorite man is gone. She had always told him to never worry, to only live his life as a child and continue to grow into a man that his father would be proud of.

Years and years pass, going through his years in primary school and homeschool, Dequan was able to attend his days in high school once his mother was able to get them back on their feet, back into the publics eyes. It was changing, being homeschooled for half of his life was something he grew immune to, so why the sudden decision to place him in a public school when he came of age? the whole world knew what Dequan was doing and where he was at all times. It seemed like too much for a young soul to handle and with his mother forcing him into a semi-normal lifestyle, it added some kind of stress on his shoulders. He’d give anything just to live a normal life for an hour or two, but when the next year comes and he’s stepping into high school, he’s realizing that the world is going to go on without him if he doesn’t bother keeping up.

But that bitter attitude towards school had disappeared when he grew accustomed to everyone, even joining clubs to keep himself distracted from the mini-demons he had. Sparks of dream and passion lit up his eyes, setting him ablaze and dead set on becoming a man that his father would be proud of. His mother wanted him to grow up differently, not like this, not going down the path of being the child of a famous singer with no real future - to get a dream that would push him to do more. Dequan didn’t see the point in it, creating a hobby wasn’t going to help their family at all but once his mother got a hold of his journal, the book that was filled with music and raw emotion. Even hearing the young boy hum here and there around the house was enough for her to send Dequan into singing lessons, secretly hoping that he can become a singer in China and debut into a group that would make a name for himself.

He scoffed at the idea, wondering where his mother got these crazy ideas from all of a sudden. Only to be told not to worry and just focus on being a teenager, something he hadn’t been able to do up until that point. His first lesson was horrible, to the point that he almost walked out, but something stopped himself. The desire to have a better life was something Dequan had always thought about but figured it was out of reach. Who would have faith in a boy who could almost get anything he wanted with money and his name?

He had to practice, it didn’t come easily for him and if he ever wanted to do something with it, he had to be the best - or at least improve. Dequan experimented with different artist and even singers who were comfortable with their own style, all from the western artist he saw on YouTube and even a few in Korea. Sometimes he wondered what it would feel like to be an idol, singing in front of thousands of fans who supported your group. Picking a piece from them all to create a sound that only he could master, a vibe he wanted other’s to like enough to keep listening. For the first time in his life, he allowed himself to dream and hope for a better tomorrow. He wanted to create a life for himself that he could be proud of, and that the people who helped him could also be proud of. Dequan, of course, knew that there were going to be hard times ahead, but he was ready to take on the challenges that awaited him. Whatever those challenges would be.

The young teenager started participating in a few open mics in the city - to get as much exposure to a real crowd, wanting nothing more than to really get the feel. He did it for fun, enjoying the reactions he got and running home to write more songs to return the next day. This went on for a whole two weeks and he would never forget the day a man stopped him, offering a small card with an agency that created the most successful artist in China. A fourteen-year-old boy getting a chance to finally fulfill his dream, his mother’s dream, even if that meant throwing away his youthful days for a chance to debut in a group even though it was never promised. He couldn’t pass up that opportunity, immediately filling out an application at the company to land him a spot for their next viewing. It didn’t take much convincing once he told his mother what happened, she was over the moon for the news and encouraged him to try his best.

He had trained for almost two years before he debuted into a group that for some reason, gained a lot of attention for the first few months of their debut. It was a dream that he never knew would come true, and he didn’t take this chance for granted; always working the hardest out of all the other members because he a point to prove. That he was talented and not just some kid who only got these things because of who his parents are, no, he was a hard worker who deserved everything he got due to the passion he brought in. At some point, the group didn’t last very long after their first anniversary. It was devastating, fear took over as the young male tried to figure out what he wanted to do now. Where he should go and how to move forward after his group was no longer supported in the company.

Dequan decided to take small jobs in hopes that he could somehow pick himself up again just like how his mother did when her career came to a halt. But it wasn’t easy, nor could he successfully make a real name for himself; truly being known by his stage persona in the group. That wasn’t enough for him, he had tasted a little bit of fame and wanted more, wanting to work harder so he could find solitude in his life again. After hours and hours spent on the internet looking for another company that was holding auditions or remotely looking for new faces to add to their company, he came across an AD that was looking for international trainees to be placed in their company. It was almost like bells went off in his head, a sign sent from God. The only thing was that this company was in Korea, a country that held the most groups and created powerful artist that he’s a fan of till this day.

Now, his mother wasn’t on board with the idea of him traveling for a company that didn’t even offer him anything yet. MSG Entertainment was what Dequan was going for, hoping that he would hear something from them after sending off his audition video, singing a Solstice song (had to do all his research on the company first) and sending it off with fingers crossed. His mother wanted him to just continue working in China, but he saw no future there, not anymore at least when he couldn’t even stray away from his previous group. When he finally heard back a month later. It took almost a week to convince his mother to leave, promising that he would always call her whenever he could and to become the best idol she’s ever seen. It was hard parting from her, going to a whole new country with a completely different culture. He was scared, but that fear turned into excitement when he started his training.

The training process was different from what he was used to, the gruesome hours he had to endure all for a dream that was never in the palm of his hands, though nothing could prepare him for everything that actually happens. Being a foreigner in the company made things even harder when he didn’t know the language too well. He had to endure the language classes on top of training, he didn’t know what sleep was his first few years of training. The path to becoming a star opens up after multiple competitions that lead to his audition and sadly, another competition where he can never win with real happiness, but with skill. He believes that it is the only way for his long winter to end. Even when it meant that he had to choose to keep fighting over friendships. Feelings and attachments were only going to get in his way. He became a trainee at the age of sixteen in late 2012, the trainee life was a crucial time in the young boy’s life that molded him into who he is now. Nothing about it was glamours and watching other’s crash and burn from the pressure had made Dequan quite nervous about how he would end up in the industry that was just as hard as the one he was in back at home. But having those kinds of thoughts at a time like that could only bring him down, he had to stay focused if he wanted to get somewhere.

In order for him to even be considered as a runner-up to be placed into a group, he had to train his hardest and even miss sleep to sneak in a few hours unlike everyone else. With his practiced to perfection smile and bright personality that he worked on throughout his youthful years, Dequan allowed himself to truly take over his own emotions and become a man who his mother could be proud of, who his father could look down and be happy for his son and all his accomplishments. He never stopped practicing once he finally debuted at twenty, just because he finally made it doesn’t mean his skill would get any better just by sitting around and letting the company do all the work.

Liu Dequan became the main vocalist of 1nferno, a group he actually felt proud of. It was nothing like his family but it was close enough to the point where he wanted to lean on them. Although, he did have his doubts; nervous that they wouldn’t get enough attention because there were so many groups debuting every day. His members had to encourage him to keep his head up, to show the world how confident they truly were and how good the group was. They were worthy enough to have the fame everyone else had, they were just as hardworking and dedicated as any other group out there. Dequan had goals and he will do anything to achieve them. With two years already in and a steady (but slow) growing fandom, his experience with the group and even being in a new culture was starting to settle in, even when hardships started to arise with the switch of concepts and not receiving enough lyrics throughout the members - Dequan tried not to let these things tamper with his mindset. He always liked to think that things happened for a reason, that the company knew what they were doing with 1nferno even though it felt like they were sometimes treated a little differently than the other groups in MSG. It was hard to not feel bitter about certain decisions, wanting to speak his mind to the upper hands but deciding it wouldn’t look good on him or even his members. He did have an image to keep, wanting to always show a smile even when he wasn’t happy with what was going on around him. Dequan had already felt comfortable speaking with his members about these concerns so they too, must’ve felt the same way; they had to.

#id.bio #id.msg #id.inferno #id.wong yukhei

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S MAIN DANCE, LEAD RAP YOSHIDA JUNPEI...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: n/a CURRENT AGE: 23 DEBUT AGE: 20 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 14 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: n/a

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): yoshi, jun-jun. INSPIRATION: as a child and young teenager, junpei was a big fan of multiple jpop groups. he always thought they were cool, and wanted to be like them. but after experiencing idol life in his past group, now junpei is more focused on the fans. he wants them to experience happiness the same way he did as a fan himself. SPECIAL TALENTS:

calligraphy (japanese and korean)

japanese tea ceremony

three-line poems

NOTABLE FACTS:

previously debuted in a japanese boy group, FLY HIGH.

has a chihuahua named nori.

was president of his junior high school’s tea ceremony club, and a member of his senior high school’s calligraphy club.

has a growing collection of novels he plans to read. there are at least thirty by now.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

junpei hopes to get more lines during 1nferno’s next comeback, and is planning to do whatever it takes to get that, even if it means working himself to the bone. he’s even started practicing his singing, as rough as it is, simply to show that he’s dedicated.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

more than anything, he wants to find his niche. something to be remembered by. being an idol can’t last forever, and he may only be 23, but there’s no telling what the future holds, so junpei wants to find something that can offer him more stability. his one-time co-hosting experience on sbs powerfm was something he hadn’t considered before doing it, but now he’s deeply interested in getting more involved in radio hosting.

IDOL IMAGE

once told to keep quiet and look pretty because his speaking skills weren’t up to par, even now as his skills with korean have improved, junpei remains soft-spoken. he’s one of the quieter members of 1nferno, saving his words for when they matter most. he’s very relaxed, and shies away from over-reacting on shows because that’s just not who he is - or so MSG says. he comes off as very sophisticated with his skills in calligraphy and tea ceremonies, as well as his interests in books and music (he’s grown to be a particular fan of r&b, jazz, and classical genres), and of course in the way he acts and speaks. junpei talks a bit slower than most, partially so he can avoid mistakes, and partially because it sounds as relaxed as he’s supposed to be. he’s even got it practiced down to his body language; he’s very languid in the way that he moves, keeps his chin up and his shoulders back in a perfect posture, and has his smiles and expressions always picture-perfect now, after the learning experience that was his time in 1nferno’s first year.

but 1nferno has an image, and total sophistication would stand out too much compared to the their intended image. there’s a bit of a balancing act in this, making sure he’s not getting too boring, too complacent. when the moment is right, and the setting is fitting, MSG has given junpei the opportunity to let loose, even for just a few seconds. it’s a bit of a game with fans now: spot the moment where junpei’s about to blow. he’s good at leaving hints for them; a little twitch of his lips or an excited hop, a deadpan stare into a camera, a slap on the shoulder of a member who might be acting up, and then, slowly but surely, junpei explodes. it’s a stark contrast to his usual composure. some of his best moments have been dropping harsh one-liners on hosts of the shows 1nferno go on, or even on his own members. other times it’s a genuine explosion, him speaking a mile a minute, mistakes be damned, whether it’s out of excitement or (faux) anger. it’s all in good nature, of course, and nobody would expect it from junpei, which makes it even better.

towards fans, junpei is very sweet. he struggles with fan-service and flirtation, avoiding it unless prompted to do otherwise (usually by management) because it’s a sort of barrier he struggles to cross, instead preferring to have an almost ‘big brother’ type of dynamic with them. he listens intently to whatever they may tell him, and does his best to remember every name and face he comes upon. he makes sure to ask fans if they’ve eaten and are taking care of themselves, and has, multiple times now, bought coffee and hot chocolate for fans that wait for 1nferno in the cold, or cold bottles of water in the heat, even if that means he’ll be low on money for himself. he’s very vocal about his love for 1nferno’s fans, and makes sure to let them know regularly that without them, 1nferno would not be where they are now.

on the flip side, it’s a lot easier for junpei to do fan-service with 1nferno’s other members. it’s not necessarily meant to be romantic, but it’s vague enough that it leaves room for fans to wonder, like any good fan-service, which is all that’s really needed. there’s no fan-idol dynamic with fellow members, which makes it easier. not to mention all the views they can get with a good thumbnail and title for videos, so it works out. otherwise, junpei picks up that same ‘big brother’ dynamic with the other members, no matter their age. have you eaten yet, make sure to rest, think of your image, etc, etc. he’s a scolder and a nagger, but it comes from a well-meaning place.

IDOL HISTORY

day zero. yoshida junpei is born to daisuke and eriko in tachikawa-shi, tokyo prefecture, japan. it’s a mild morning on april 21st, 1995. his father commutes to tokyo five days a week, leaves early in the morning and comes back late at night. his mother works at a local grocery store as a clerk. his parents vow to support him, no matter what. life should be simple and easy.

three years old. he goes to work with his mother. daycare isn’t unaffordable, but she prefers for him to come along so she can keep an eye on him. he has a third set of grandparents by now: the owners of the store, who watch approvingly as he sweeps the floor and reaches high on his tiptoes to stock fruits alongside his mother. when the days run slow, his third grandmother takes him outside and starts to sing for him. his body moves without thinking it over, a toddler with freedom and no care in the world as he dances his heart out. it draws in shoppers. his third grandmother always tells him he’s going to be a great dancer one day.

seven years old. his third grandfather installs a TV in the store. junpei sits in front of it as he does his homework. today, the hosts of the day-show announce a musical guest. usually it’s some old band singing music from when his grandparents were younger, but today is different. touch the sky. they’re a boy group. he watches in awe as they sing, dance, rap. it’s amazing. they look so cool, and the people cheering for them must think so too. he doesn’t know anything about them, so he resigns himself to asking the girls in his class if they do.

eight years old. he has ten performances recorded on different VHS tapes. he has all of their CDs. he knows their dances. on saturday afternoons now, his mother takes him to dance lessons. he walks to the grocery store all by himself afterwards, and performs whatever he’s learned that day for her and his grandparents. they clap and cheer. junpei learns he likes when people cheer for him.

ten years old. touch the sky break up, just a few weeks after junpei’s birthday. nobody really knows why. they release a goodbye letter but leave no hints as to why they’re moving on. so junpei moves on too, finding a new group to admire. the process repeats itself as he learns their dances, gathers their CDs and posters. this time he even starts to learn the raps. the words fit together like puzzle pieces, and all at once, junpei is enamored.

twelve years old. junpei’s about to start junior high school. his parents sit him down with solemn smiles. “it’s time to get serious,” they tell him. “of course we support you, but you need to focus on your studies now.” it hurts, and they make amends: he can dance and rap to your heart’s content in his free time, but saturday afternoons are for tutoring sessions now. he has to join a club, too—a ‘good’ one. junpei joins the tea ceremony club. it’s a performance in its own right, and as stubborn as he first is, he grows to like it. when club is over and his homework is done, junpei locks himself away in his room until dinner to practice dancing and rapping.

fourteen years old. for his birthday, junpei’s parents take him on a weekend trip to tokyo. the most important thing they do while there is attend a small music festival for idol groups, which junpei’s new favorite group, one chance, is performing at. they have the longest set, so they take a break in the middle, and what are the odds they ask for a fan to come up? what are the even bigger odds junpei is chosen? what are the biggest odds that they ask him to perform a bit from their latest song, so he does, and he does it so well for a fourteen year-old that they’re impressed? they send him back to his seat with a signed copy of their CD as the crowd cheers and applauds him. his ears burn against the chill in the air, but he’s smiling wide.

after the concert, someone comes up to them. a staffer from one chance’s company. she offers junpei an audition. going to the audition is the easy part; it’s a birthday present, his parents tell him. the harder part is convincing them to let him train after he passes. guilt is a vile weapon to wield, but junpei does anyway in desperation; “aren’t you supposed to support me no matter what?” he asks them, and they relent.

he has to keep his grades up. he has to keep attending his club. if his grades slip, he’s done. it’s a chance.

fifteen years old. he’s been training for almost half a year when his birthday rolls around. if he’s not at school, in club, doing homework, or training, he’s either asleep or eating. junpei is exhausted, both physically and mentally, and all that pulls him out of bed every morning is the thought that one day, fans will be cheering for him.

training grows harder at the end of the year, when management rounds up junpei and a group of four other boys and tells them they’ll be debuting in the summer. junpei moves into a dorm with them and switches to a new high school with a weary, half-hearted blessing from his parents. he joins the calligraphy club to have some peace at least once a week. the boys are all older than him, and they’re dirty and like to roughhouse, so junpei doesn’t get along with them well. but they all want to perform, so they push it aside long enough to practice.

day zero. FLY HIGH debuts with low fanfare in june 2011. their budget isn’t extraordinary, and they release just a single, but it’s a start. the day of debut, they start working to pay back the company with hopes of putting money in their own pockets later. headshots, dance classes, rap lessons, the dorm, the food, the clothes—fame is expensive, but addicting. their first performance is at a musical festival. they’re first up with one song and a cover. but people cheer, whether it’s out of politeness or because they’re fans, and either way, junpei thrives on it.

sixteen years old. with a single and a mini-album now under their belt, by january 2012 FLY HIGH is slowly gaining exposure and fans. hitting it big is the goal, but where they’re at now isn’t terrible, either. junpei gets recognized on the street every now and then. his classmates listen to his group’s music. at the end of march, a month before his birthday, their company rents a stage in akihabara and FLY HIGH puts on a mini concert with an autograph and handshake session included. tickets are cheap, but it’s the thought that counts. some news outlets attend; free press. it’s another chance.

seventeen years old. junpei’s first birthday in the group is uneventful. there are no plans that day, so he resides in the practice room, dancing and rapping for hours so his performances are on point for whatever comes next. but apparently the social media accounts for FLY HIGH go crazy that day, and eventually management fetches him just long enough to make a video with the other members. he blows out a single candle on a cupcake, thanks the members and the fans for giving him such an amazing opportunity, and then everyone leaves him alone once the filming is done.

the group releases another single in may, followed by another rushed one in june. july, they do a few promotions here and there. fans are starting to get antsy. in august, their manager sits them down to tell them: “you’re all going back into training. we’re cancelling group activities for the time being.”

seventeen years old.

the training is longer and harsher than before. junpei’s grades start to fall, so over winter break, he tests out of school and receives a diploma-equivalent certificate. it’s a hard test; only 30-40% of people ever pass it, but the stigma is still there, so nobody knows, not even his parents.

social media accounts don’t stop running. they give out false hope, and junpei and the other members are expected to go along with it. by december, even the members of one shot are relegated back to training. the only group still performing is a girl group that does cover concerts in akihabara. it doesn’t make any sense until january, when all the idols and other employees are gathered together by the CEO.

we’re bankrupt. it’s over. thanks for performing for us. january’s rent is paid, but move out of your dorms by the end of the month. pay us back for the other fees.

it’s not fair. junpei cries that night as the other group members start to pack their things.

eighteen years old. junpei had spent the last three months leading up to his birthday doing two things: auditioning, and working for minimum wage. he’d barely contacted his parents; they know what happened, how could they not? but they wanted him to cut his losses and come home, and junpei was too far gone now. that taste of fame, as small as it was, was addicting. he started rooming with one of the ex-members of one chance, who’d given up on music and kept encouraging junpei to do the same, but never enforced it. in fact, he’s the one who passes along the information to junpei about MSG holding an audition.

in may, junpei auditions for MSG. in june, he scrambles the money together for a flight to korea for a callback. in july, he’s getting all the necessary info together for a visa, saying goodbye to friends and family, and flying back to korea – to stay, this time. or so he hopes.

the adjustment is rough, and there are multiple times where junpei nearly crashes and burns. a foreign country, a foreign language, a foreign culture—the odds all seem set up against him. MSG works him harder than his old company ever had, and invest more into him than expected. he spends the most time in language lessons; they drill the information into him quickly and with purpose. they tell him to speak korean or not at all, because otherwise he won’t learn, and he takes it to heart. he’s a quiet trainee, and struggles to find friends.

depression settles in quickly. there is so much junpei doesn’t understand. he grows homesick, missing friends and family and even his dog. even rapping is a challenge now, the foreign words constantly tripping him up. but the promise of fame is what pulls him out of bed every day. MSG has given him one more chance.

nineteen years old. progress in korean is slow but steady. he’s able to chit-chat now and then, but it’s still hard to make himself do it. it takes some time for him to find the right words, and his voice shakes when he speaks even at a normal volume, but it’s progress. he’ll get there. he has to.

junpei works harder than ever with this in mind. depression is familiar now, and he works around it, shoving it away until late at night when he’s lying in bed, and only then does he let it flood out. he doesn’t dare speak of it to anyone, too afraid they’ll take it as a sign that he’s not cut out for this line of work and rat him out to the higher-ups. he doesn’t want to be in another story of “what could’ve been”.

as his skills improve, though, his satisfaction never does. it’s always i can do better, not this is the best i’ve done yet. he spends hours practicing dances and songs from older groups, trying to imagine the day when maybe, just maybe, someone will be in his place, learning from his own group’s songs. it helps him push forward.

day zero. junpei is running on four hours of sleep and a twenty-minute nap the day of 1nferno’s debut. he still remembers the day he was told he’d been picked for the group, how he’d shedded a few tears the first moment he had to himself. it still doesn’t make sense. he can’t wrap his head around it. why him? he cries again - multiple times - today, and he’s not sure whether it’s from nerves, stress, happiness, or some combination of the three. junpei’s been given a chance.

twenty-one years old. his birthday comes two days after 1nferno’s debut. there’s not much fanfare - not yet, at least. maybe next year. that’s the goal.

it starts out rough for junpei. ‘be quiet and look pretty’, management tells him. his expressions are lacking in interviews and on shows; everyone talks to fast for him to keep up, so when not in focus he goes blank at times. his answers to questions are short, to-the-point, because that’s all he can manage, and MSG doesn’t want him messing up. it seems so risky to have him like this, and doubts quickly surface from fans, non-fans, and even himself: why is he here if he even struggles to speak? his talent isn’t enough talent to redeem himself. it seems like he’s set for failure before he’s even really begun.

public opinion changes quickly after he’s a guest on abnormal summit. with a topic of trust in people, junpei shares his story; they give him time to speak as he tells them about the bankruptcy of his old group’s company, and how now he and his parents have to pay back the costs. now that he’s in korea, he’s struggled to adjust, but he’s not giving up because of his parents, and 1nferno’s fans and other members. if they can trust him, he needs to trust them too.

suddenly, he’s a sweetheart. a gentle giant. those blank expressions and quick answers become endearing to fans. it gives junpei room to breathe, loosen up a bit, and improve with a little less scrutiny. as time passes, he gets better. his korean grows stronger. people still talk fast, but he learns to keep smiling.

twenty-three years old. by his 23rd birthday, 1nferno has been promoting for two full years. junpei has grown into his role as the big brother of the group, and knows how to use silence to his favor. he’s co-hosted a late-night radio show on SBS, something he never expected to do, but that attested to his improvement in korean since his debut. for all intents and purposes, junpei should be happy with where he is.

and he is. mostly. but there’s a nagging thought in the back of his mind. he doesn’t have as many lines in the songs than he would expect or just like to have. it’s not something he can blame on the members. this isn’t their fault. the next step would be to blame their management, but he can’t even bring himself do that. while his depression never went away, it lingered, and lately has been coming back in full-force. practice is all he can do to stem it. he’s more distant with the members, preferring to once again spend hours upon hours practicing to improve himself. he hasn’t called his family or friends in months to avoid feeling homesick again. the problem, junpei has decided, must lie within him, and he is the only one who can fix it.

#id.bio #id.msg #id.inferno #id.nakamoto yuta