#if anyone read until this point and wondering what the fuck couldve happened that got me like this

[kimmkitsuragi]

not my first reaction to this information as i learned it during the intermission of challengers (yes i finally went to see it) and i was having a lowkey breakdown through the intermission and the beginning of the second half a little bit but ummm: well of fucking course i literally dont deserve anything

#why did i even try this hard. i dont think i deserve anything tbh #dont mind me sounding dramatic im actually fine like lol #im sad but ok but also like. i got used to being a failure and a disappointment this last year so #i feel very tired now. it wasnt a bad day overall and im happy i decided against going alone today #bc i wouldve literally ended up crying in public if i was alone lmfao #ah. ahhhhh :/ i really really really was hoping for a better outcome #stupid girl as always #anyway i really am fine i just need to be dramatic for a moment. i truly do not deserve anything i get ever im sorry #if anyone read until this point and wondering what the fuck couldve happened that got me like this #well it's truly not that important in the grand scheme of things and im being stupid #got wait listed for another scholarship lmao </3 #truly stupid and foolish of me to even think from the start that i could do this lmao #what's even more stupid is im still like well. well 🤠 hey maybe 🤗 #i just know im going to be feeling extremely guilty for even existing even if i end up being able to go at this point lmao #and it's so stupid to even write all this. over something like this when people have real problems and stuff lmao #truly what did i think make me worthy of this chance im so not special and dont deserve this etc etc #all this negative self talk and i will still be sleeping like 😴😴😴 still hoping for the best dont worry #and that's because im stupid #🗒 #i will drink tea this day has been lacking tea so critically :/