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trans-axolotl2 · 1 year

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In my last residential treatment stay, I did have one psychiatrist who I trusted and had a positive relationship with. Her name was Dr. R, and when I came in on the first day of treatment and told her that I would not take any psych meds and that I had a lot of past psych trauma, she validated me and told me that she would not bring up meds unless I did. Throughout my stay there, she was empathetic, listened to my concerns, helped advocate for me, and generally made me feel heard. At the same time, when management took away our doors-she did nothing. When I needed to get a feeding tube--she lied to me about how long it would be in, and what I needed to do to get it out. She enforced policies about restricting outside breaks, restrictions on items, and contributed to treatment plans that my friends felt were unfair and damaging.

She was a good person and I liked her, but she was choosing to work within a system where she could not control the dozens of things happening there that harmed us every single day. This is what I mean when I say there is no such thing as a good psychiatrist in inpatient units--she was a progressive, validating, nice person --but her very job description made it impossible for a “good provider” to exist. To be a provider who wasn’t a part of the harm that was occurring on that unit, she would have had to quit, because the very requirements of her job required committing ethical violations, restricting peoples autonomy, and perpetrating iatrogenic harm. If she had stopped enforcing harmful policies and challenged her coworkers publically, she probably would have gotten fired. And that really is the problem--causing iatrogenic harm has essentially become a job requirement on inpatient units, and being a “good provider” by the metrics of the system require you to participate in that harm.

I think Dr. R did a better job than most inpatient psychs in mitigating the harms she participated in, and finding ways to resist shitty systems when possible. I was glad she was there and I think she made my treatment better, but the two of us had a lot of conversations together where she acknowledged the fucked up things happening in the treatment center, acknowledged her role in them, and also stated that she did not have any power to change them. She could not fix the system by working within the system.

I get a lot of questions by people who are interested in careers in the mental health system, and asking me on whether I think it’s okay for them to work there. My first response is usually if you’re asking because you’re feeling guilty after seeing what psych survivors say, I’m not someone who’s going to give you permission to ignore that guilt. The second thing I usually say is this: you need to go into this job aware with the fact that you will cause people harm, you will get into ethical dilemmas, and there will be times where you will either have to betray your personal values or quit. There isn’t one right answer on how to engage with mental healthcare as a provider, with the reality that until we build up alternative systems of care, the current structures still exist and have people who need support inside of them. If that’s something that you think you can navigate in a way that lets you create the least harm possible, then that’s something you need to decide for yourself, and to think really deeply about if the reality of the psych system matches up with your goals.

#antipsychiatry #antipsych #mad studies #disability justice #psych ward tw #i think u also need to understand that if u go to school to work professionally in mental health #if u become a psychiatrist or a therapist or a social worker #even if you're one who does it outpatientt. even if you're an abolitionist social worker #that means there are probably going to be barriers to community spaces. that some people might not trust you any longer. if you are #coming into spaces as a professional #part of that decision might be grappling with the fact that even as you gain legitmacy from a societal side. that as u gain #new opportunities for jobs. to work within systems #you might also lose community trust. opportunities within activism spaces. opportunities #to share and be in those spaces as a survivor and patient #and im not saying this as a judgemnt or to put moral value on it #but i think that's just something you Also need to understand and weigh. sure you will gain something. by getting liscenced #but what will you lose? why might people not trust you in community spaces any longer?#what trade offs will you be making and are they worth it to you? what new communities can you build #what matters to you and what are your passions #<- all things i am really grappling with right now as i decide whether or not i want to go get my masters in social work

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nothingbutloveforyou · 8 months

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I met a guy online who’s getting his masters to become a LCSW (social worker) and I admitted to him that the reason I’ve been super off texting wise is that I’m in a mixed state. But he’s TERRIBLE at answering texts! But I can’t help but be afraid he’s ghosting me…should I send a follow up text? (Btw I have an appointment with my psychiatrist Thursday, my therapist knows and my parents are super supportive as per usual; so I’m safe)

first off: v happy u have such a good support system! but i honestly wouldn't text him again :)

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sparklyandchic · 4 years

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🦋 MINI MIND MAKEOVER 🦋

okay i started the idea for this mini little mind makeover when i broke up with my boyfriend in like january. instead of being sad or angry, i wanted to be grateful for this time and take it as an opportunity to make life better for myself. then quarantine happened, so some of these are related to things i’ve learned since that started. either way, these aren’t all concrete things to do for your mind; some of them are just ways of thinking or pep talks. but if you can find one little piece of information or thought that makes you a little bit happier for a moment, that’s all i can hope for!

5-htp: okay first off- please ALWAYS consult your psychiatrist or medical professional before taking a supplement! taking 5-htp with, for example, serotonin-increasing medications can lead to a fatal illness called serotonin syndrome. personally, i started taking it because i had been on 10 mg prozac for a few months. it definitely dulled a lot of my anxiety and had a lot of positive aspects to it, but it dulled them almost too much to the point where i felt apathetic and detached from myself and the situations i was in. i was in a very unhealthy relationship and felt like i needed my mental clarity and “overthinking” processes back in order to identify what i was feeling and how to deal with it. i felt a lot more “sensitive” after coming off it, which was actually really welcome for me at first, but then it sort of dropped off into withdrawals. i was having constant panic attacks and crying very often. after a while, i was debating going back on prozac, but remembered i had taken 5-htp before. 5-htp is an amino acid that is a direct precursor to serotonin being produced in the brain. when u eat turkey, tryptophan is converted into 5-htp which leads to your brain producing serotonin, thus why you feel calm and happy afterwards. after taking 5-htp for just a few days, ranging between 200-300 mg per day (again, do your research, ask your doctor, and start small) i stopped crying constantly and really felt this sense of calmness and wellbeing but without the detachment and apathy i felt with prozac. i could still think clearly but didn’t feel overly sensitive to every emotion which arose. personally, it is really a lifesaver and really does make a noticeable difference.

cognitive behavioral therapy: ive tried therapy a million times. well okay, like 5 or 6 different therapists. at its worst, therapists told me i needed to use my sexual power as a woman in order to get what i wanted from men, told me i’m bad at socializing and should do group therapy, said my mom shouldn’t have encouraged me to “be myself” when i was younger because it made me less likeable than if i had conformed to normal societal standards of dressing. i had gone to “therapists” who claimed to be trained in CBT, but when i told them about my experiences with dissociation, the only feedback i got was to “take more baths.” while going through a few unpleasant experiences in my personal life, i decided i should try CBT once more, but like the real kind. i found an ivy-league educated licensed psychologist (NOT a “licensed clinical social worker” who doesn’t even have a psychology degree!!) who SPECIALIZED specifically in cognitive behavioral therapy. just after the first session, i was so elated with my experience. as opposed to just telling me that i needed to be more normal or more kind or a better person, she tried to identify WHAT was making me feel that way about myself in the first place. she pointed out the positive things i do and reassured me i was kind, good, and deserving of good things. she pointed out many aspects of my situation that would have taken me days or weeks to come to on my own. i’ve realized my hubris isn’t that i’m not socially acceptable or not perfect enough, but its just that i tend to THINK that i am these things despite having no evidence of it. so, over time with therapy, my positive self image about who i am as a person has grown and strengthened and i dont just randomly feel like a bad human being anymore lol. moral of the story, if you wanna do therapy but it keeps sucking, dont give up. go to a legit psychologist, find someone who specializes in the type of therapy you’re seeking, and also be vocal during your sessions. stand up to your psychologist when they continually push a narrative onto you, and explain why you don’t agree with it. sometimes it’s their job to try different narratives to see what fits, and if you just passively let them say what they want to, you’ll never find the truth of your experience! it’s a communal effort! therapy isn’t usually a magic cure-all where one session fixes everything that goes awry in your brain. but if you find someone who knows what they’re doing they can in fact really help your thought processes become less twisted up and more clear and healthy.

meditation and mindfulness: a few weeks ago i felt anxious and overly driven to get things done to the point where i spiraled into a space of guilt or a panic attack over not getting enough things done. meditation can be so so helpful here. it’s better to spend an hour sitting and doing nothing, but doing it peacefully and then calmly moving on to doing something else, than to spend 5 hours stressing yourself over every single thing you need to get done and how much time you’re wasting. the things that need to get done will get done. another thing that i’ve realized and say to myself a lot is: “focus not on doing all things perfectly, but on doing the small things well.” by this i mean, stop thinking about the 20 things you need to get done and how it all needs to be perfect, but instead take your time with the task that presents itself as most beneficial right now and focus on enjoying it and giving your whole self to the process. for example, stop thinking about how you need to clean your room, your closet, donate clothes, take a shower, take out the trash, read, workout, etc. think to yourself; “which task would bring me the most joy right now?” if the answer is taking a shower, then take that damn shower. bring your speaker into the bathroom, scrub every inch of your scalp with shampoo, scrub your feet and behind your ears and your neck with body wash, brush the conditioner through your hair fully. you may end your shower with 19 other things to do, but god damn if you can’t enjoy a single one of them and be present for it, what’s the fucking point! go light a candle and bask in its glow, go make your bed and huddle up in your neatly arranged covers, go take a long bath or a thorough shower, and be proud of and content with that today.

relationships, with others and yourself: okay, if you missed the memo, my ex-boyfriend sucked. like genuinely was a bad person. he was a drug dealer, so that’s red flag number 1 (which i ignored of course), he hadn’t graduated high school (he was 18, i was 20, he was supposed to graduate the last semester but refused to do the work and ignored me and his mother when encouraged to do it, which is uhh definitely red flag number 2 which i also ignored), he habitually did not show up for dates on time or lied about what he was going to do or what he did (literally everything he did was a red flag and i rlly ignored all of it). the worst part was how he responded when i worked up the courage to speak to him about it. if we had agreed upon a time for our date but he showed up literally 8 hours late, he would blame it on me because i “could have called” him, or that i was “demanding too much of” him, or that i “should have said something earlier so now [i was] just dragging it out because it already happened.” basically, whatever narrative he pushed at me, i eventually gave into. i’ve dealt with gaslighting in a relationship before and a part of me knew what was happening to me, but a part of me also kept having hope for him, kept empathizing with him, kept wanting to believe in him. after a bit too much time, i finally realized you have to trust yourself, empathize with yourself, and believing in yourself over anyone else. at first i felt bad for him not being able to graduate because i had my own struggles with high school and getting work done. i thought he may have issues but he deserves someone to be there for him because i wanted someone to be there for me. despite the pain and stress he was causing me, i sat around crying over him because i cared about him and tend to over-empathize with people close to me, whether they deserve it or not. my therapist told me something that at first i did not understand, but over time came to grasp in its entirety: “some people do not deserve your love or kindness.” after our first session, my homework was to “consider when you are being kind and when you are being taken advantage of.” this made me realize that what feels like your instinctual nature to be nice to others, can in fact be a self-sabotaging unfair action, depending on the other person’s response. i might be dishing out a lot right now, but bear with me. think of it this way: you regard an action as a “kind action”. you might think “kind actions” include: forgiving someone for large mistakes, putting someone’s needs over yours, sparing them some change when they ask for it, listening to the problems they are dealing with every day. BUT when their actions include not forgiving you for minor mistakes, not giving a sh*t about your needs or considering them, not caring how much money they take from you and how much money you need to have around, or habitually glossing over your problems because it doesn’t benefit them to care, THEN those actions you performed are NOT “KIND ACTIONS” anymore. the act of continuing to give them leeway is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of giving them money is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of buying into their story at the expense of your sanity, is now the act of being taken advantage. basically, all i’m saying is START PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST AND TRUSTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND.

ending thoughts: i know quarantine is difficult right now. the desire to grow contrasted with the inability to move. maybe try and follow that old 2008~ quote; “bloom where you are planted”. you might not be able to reach the goals you thought you would during this time. you might not be able to run a marathon or make a bunch of new friends or wake up at 6 AM to workout or redo your bedroom or get a rhinoplasty or join a gym or get an internship. working towards productivity might be unrealistic right now. but you can work everyday towards becoming the woman you want to be, mentally. you can work on learning to be content, learning to make the best with what you have, learning to appreciate the little things, learning to slow down. these are all qualities that i for one want to have just as much as i want to be attractive or successful. if you can’t enjoy success, what’s the fucking point! life is on pause right now, take this moment as a gift and consider your internal world and what parts of your mind need a makeover. there are horrible things happening in the world right now, do what you can to help, but if you’re safe and healthy then be grateful for the things you can learn from this difficult time. take it slow, but keep moving forward!

#happyandchic #happy and chic

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andrebooker7532 · 7 years

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The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Gelb

I am grateful to Monique Muhlenkamp (New World Library Publishers) for providing a Q&A in which Michael Gelb shares his thoughts about a remarkably diverse range of subjects.

* * *

Michael J. Gelb is the author most recently of The Art of Connection: 7 Relationship-Building Skills Every Leader Needs Now, published by New World Library (September 2017). He has pioneered in the fields of creative thinking, accelerated learning, and innovative leadership. He leads seminars for organizations such as DuPont, Merck, Microsoft, Nike, Raytheon, and the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business. He is the coauthor of Brain Power and author of How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci as well as several other bestsellers.

* * *

You claim that business offers the greatest hope for humanity. Please explain.

For almost 40 years I’ve worked with corporations, helping them become more creative and human-oriented. This work is part of a growing movement toward sustainable, conscious capitalism. Business leaders are recognizing that they will be more successful and profitable if they care for all their stakeholders including the community, environment, workers etc. They make the world better by the way they do business, and the world responds by making them more profitable. This isn’t touchy-feely idealism; it’s practical, evidence-based reality. Vulnerability is a hot topic – is it a weakness or a power?

In her book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brené Brown argues that “vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.”

The V-word word has become popular, but it’s not the best term. Derived from the Latin vulnerare, “to wound,” synonyms include weak, helpless, defenseless, sitting duck, and sucker.

More helpful words to express this quality include Accessible, Approachable, Open, and Present Receptive.

When we are open and accessible, it’s much easier for others to connect with us. For example, at a recent seminar for construction managers in New York, the group engaged in a discussion about the importance of seeking input from work crews on job sites. Joe, a veteran senior project manager, asked, “Won’t my people think I’m weak if I ask for their ideas?” This led to a passionate discussion in which many of the younger participants shared their belief that when a boss asks for their contributions, they feel respected and included. As a result, they see this as a sign of strength. This is a big change in the world of work! You’re known as a thought leader in Creativity and Innovation so why have you written a book about relationships?

My primary emphasis has been on teaching people the mindset and skills of creative thinking. It’s relatively easy to teach people how to generate new ideas. The hard part is getting support for those ideas and overcoming resistance to innovation and change. This demands skill in building relationships, and it often means managing conflict.

Many of my clients are champions of innovative change in companies, schools, non-profits and government agencies, and they seek help in overcoming resistance to new ideas. Whether you are championing innovation and positive change in your organization, trying to negotiate a fair deal with a collaborator, or dealing with a dispute with your spouse or child, your success and fulfillment will be a function of your ability to apply the art of connection.

You write that contemporary leaders need to be able to communicate like therapists? Are you joking?

Yes, but it’s also a serious point. In the 1970s managers were just managers. In the 1980s managers were asked to learn how to be leaders, something that has become more important every decade since. In the first decade of the new millennium, managers were also asked to develop the skill of coaches. Now if you lead in any kind of organization, in addition to knowing how to be a coach, it really helps if you can think and speak like a psychotherapist. The same thing is true for parents and spouses.

You have a whole chapter focusing on the notion that Emotions Are Contagious. Please explain.

This is ancient wisdom validated by contemporary science. More than two thousand years ago the Greek playwright Euripides noted “Every man is like the company he keeps.” More recently, “computational social science,” has demonstrated that our emotions are contagious, for better or worse, affecting everything from our weight and alcohol consumption to our sleep patterns and general happiness. Computational social science validates Euripides assertion: If, for example, most of the people you interact with are alcoholic, obese, or depressed, then you are more susceptible to those conditions, but if those people are healthy, happy, and fit, then you are more likely to be so too.

You state, “The current climate of disrespectful speech may be doing as much harm to our country as the disregard for the planet’s climate.” Please elaborate.

We know from decades of research that rudeness, incivility and verbal abuse are not only unpleasant but profoundly destructive. This is a national “teachable moment.” As Bob Sutton a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford emphasizes, “If you work for a jerk, odds are you will become one.” Prof Christine Porath of Georgetown U. surveyed more than fourteen thousand people from a wide range of organizations, and found that those who tolerate incivility suffer greater turnover and have trouble attracting and retaining the best people, are less creative and innovative, and lose customers and weaken their brand. Porath sums it up: “Incivility is expensive.” It’s not surprising that we are witnessing record turnover in the Executive branch and that the brand of America is suffering internationally.

You claim that The Art of Connection offers “the secret of health, happiness and leadership.” How do we know that’s true?

Research! Psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School Robert Waldinger is the current director of the world’s longest-running social science study. For more than seventy-seven years they’ve followed a group of 724 men, measuring the factors that most influence their mental and physical health. Waldinger and his three predecessors all found that most younger men believe that money, power, achievement, and fame are the keys to success and happiness. That’s certainly the impression one gets from contemporary media, advertising, video games, and reality television. But the results of the study are undeniably clear: the most important factor in a happy and healthy life is a positive sense of connection with others.

Waldinger’s conclusions are supported and extended by many other studies. The sense of positive social connectedness yields many research-validated benefits. It:

o strengthens immune function and reduces inflammation. o prevents dementia, diabetes, and many other ailments. o promotes longevity.

In a world where people are more dependent than ever on electronic communication is your book relevant?

It’s not just relevant, it’s urgent and critical. Children are growing up learning communication skills from Siri and Alexa. As The Onion proclaimed: “LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR PLUMMETS!” Through interviews and practical collaboration with successful leaders in different walks of life it’s vividly clear that the ability to connect, to listen, empathize and be compassionate is a distinguishing characteristic and that it’s more valuable than ever, now.

* * *

Fun Facts about Michael Gelb:

He is the originator of a unique approach to teambuilding through the enjoyment of wine and poetry, as expressed in Wine Drinking For Inspired Thinking: Uncork Your Creative Juices.

A professional juggler who performed with the Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan, he introduced the idea of teaching juggling to promote accelerated learning and team-building. He is the author of More Balls Than Hands.

A fifth degree black belt in the martial art of Aikido and an avid chess player, he is co-author with Grandmaster Raymond Keene, of Samurai Chess: Mastering Strategy Through the Martial Art of the Mind.

* * *

Thank you, Monique!

To learn more about Michael, please click here.

from personivt2c http://employeeengagement.ning.com/xn/detail/1986438:BlogPost:193028 via http://www.rssmix.com/

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andrebooker7532 · 7 years

Text

The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Gelb

I am grateful to Monique Muhlenkamp (New World Library Publishers) for providing a Q&A in which Michael Gelb shares his thoughts about a remarkably diverse range of subjects.

* * *

You claim that business offers the greatest hope for humanity. Please explain.

The V-word word has become popular, but it’s not the best term. Derived from the Latin vulnerare, “to wound,” synonyms include weak, helpless, defenseless, sitting duck, and sucker.

More helpful words to express this quality include Accessible, Approachable, Open, and Present Receptive.

When we are open and accessible, it��s much easier for others to connect with us. For example, at a recent seminar for construction managers in New York, the group engaged in a discussion about the importance of seeking input from work crews on job sites. Joe, a veteran senior project manager, asked, “Won’t my people think I’m weak if I ask for their ideas?” This led to a passionate discussion in which many of the younger participants shared their belief that when a boss asks for their contributions, they feel respected and included. As a result, they see this as a sign of strength. This is a big change in the world of work! You’re known as a thought leader in Creativity and Innovation so why have you written a book about relationships?

You write that contemporary leaders need to be able to communicate like therapists? Are you joking?

You have a whole chapter focusing on the notion that Emotions Are Contagious. Please explain.

You state, “The current climate of disrespectful speech may be doing as much harm to our country as the disregard for the planet’s climate.” Please elaborate.

You claim that The Art of Connection offers “the secret of health, happiness and leadership.” How do we know that’s true?

Waldinger’s conclusions are supported and extended by many other studies. The sense of positive social connectedness yields many research-validated benefits. It:

o strengthens immune function and reduces inflammation. o prevents dementia, diabetes, and many other ailments. o promotes longevity.

In a world where people are more dependent than ever on electronic communication is your book relevant?

* * *

Fun Facts about Michael Gelb:

He is the originator of a unique approach to teambuilding through the enjoyment of wine and poetry, as expressed in Wine Drinking For Inspired Thinking: Uncork Your Creative Juices.

* * *

Thank you, Monique!

To learn more about Michael, please click here.

from personivt2c http://employeeengagement.ning.com/xn/detail/1986438:BlogPost:193028 via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes