#if you aren't up by then not my fault.

[jcsontodd]

The issue w being the first one awake in my house is that i get so much done and think 'wow my family should be up by now' and it's. Like 6:30

#but also get scolded if i say i'm tired later like...ok you get up at 5:45/6am and let the dog out and feed the chickens and the cats #and the dog and put away dishes and tidy the cat boxes and let the dog out again and put coffee on #the thing that annoys me w the coffee is. i make it and the heating coil stays on for so long then they have the audacity to complain when #it goes cold like. dude i made the coffee at 7:30. it should stay on til like...9/9:30. #if you aren't up by then not my fault. #but if i wait til they're up i get bitched at abt there being no coffee :') #chatters;

[bixels]

I think 90% of my gripes with how modern anime looks comes down to flat color design/palettes.

Non-cohesive, washed-out color palettes can destroy lineart quality. I see this all the time when comparing an anime's lineart/layout to its colored/post-processed final product and it's heartbreaking. Compare this pre-color vs. final frame from Dungeon Meshi's OP.

So much sharpness and detail and weight gets washed out and flattened by 'meh' color design. I LOVE the flow and thickness and shadows in the fabrics on the left. The white against pastel really brings it out. Check out all the detail in their hair, the highlights in Rin's, the different hues to denote hair color, the blue tint in the clothes' shadows, and how all of that just gets... lost. It works, but it's not particularly good and does a disservice to the line-artist.

I'm using Dungeon Meshi as an example not because it's bad, I'm just especially disappointed because this is Studio Trigger we're talking about. The character animation is fantastic, but the color design is usually much more exciting. We're not seeing Trigger at their full potential, so I'm focusing on them.

Here's a very quick and messy color correct. Not meant to be taken seriously, just to provide comparison to see why colors can feel "washed out." Top is edit, bottom is original.

You can really see how desaturated and "white fluorescent lighting" the original color palettes are.

[Remember: the easiest way to make your colors more lively is to choose a warm or cool tint. From there, you can play around with bringing out complementary colors for a cohesive palette (I warmed Marcille's skintone and hair but made sure to bring out her deep blue clothes). Avoid using too many blend mode layers; hand-picking colors will really help you build your innate color sense and find a color style. Try using saturated colors in unexpected places! If you're coloring a night scene, try using deep blues or greens or magentas. You see these deep colors used all the time in older anime because they couldn't rely on a lightness scale to make colors darker, they had to use darker paints with specific hues. Don't overthink it, simpler is better!]

#not art #dungeon meshi #rant #i'm someone who can get obsessive over colors in my own art #will stare at the screen adjusting hues/saturation for hours #luckily i've gotten faster at color picking #but yeah modern anime's color design is saddening to me. the general trend leans towards white/grey desaturated palettes #simply because they're easier to pick digitally #this is not the colorists fault mind you. the anime industry's problems are also labor problems. artists are severely underpaid #and overworked. colorists literally aren't paid enough to do their best #there isn't a “creative drought” in the anime industry. this trend is widespread across studios purely BECAUSE it's not up to individuals #until work conditions improve anime will unfortunately continue to miss its fullest potential visually #don't even GET ME STARTED ON THE USE OF POST-PROCESSING FILTERS AND LIGHTING IN ANIME THOUGH #SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK. I HATE LENS FLARES I HATE GRADIENT SHADING I HATE CHROMATIC ABBERATION AND BLUR

[ahaura]

im sure its been said already but as the election draws near more and more liberals will come out of the woodwork to shame people with a conscience to give away their vote to the democrats for free. i'm already seeing posts saying "why aren't people more concerned about a trump presidency?" you want to know why? it's because people already know he's bad. everyone already knows what he is and what he's done and what he'll do. there's nothing to discuss. he's a racist despotic worm of a man. there's nothing else to say.

biden is currently president. the genocide is happening under his watch. he's the one funding isra*l and arming them; he's sidestepped congress more than once to give them weapons. by oct. 27, the biden administration already knew that "Israel was regularly bombing buildings without solid intelligence that they were legitimate military targets." the state department/biden have engaged in atrocity propaganda, cast doubt on the legitimacy of the death toll recorded by the gaza health ministry, and so on. the united states is currently in the process of trying to pin the "war in gaza" on netanyahu (see sen. schumer's speech) after months of backing blatant genocide as a means to act as if they're "doing something" about the genocide (Instead of, say, threatening to cut off all aid to israel with the condition that all hostilities in gaza, the west bank, and occupied jerusalem are halted immediately and permanently, allowing palestinians freedom to travel, allowing aid into gaza, etc etc etc.)

the long and short of it is that liberals view their own lives as being worth more than palestinians'. that's it. they'll vote for another 4 years of the guy ushering in genocide and supporting apartheid + settler colonialism because he isn't outright attacking them (despite various laws and rulings happening both at the supreme court level and at the local level all over the country that will endanger people). they'll settle for the illusion of safety and security and shame anyone with a conscience and accuse them of "supporting the republicans" when in an actual democracy you would be able to use your vote as leverage to extract concessions from those who want to be elected. that's how it's supposed to fucking work.

democrats are not owed people's vote. if biden loses, it will be biden's fault; it will be his campaign's fault; it will be the democrats' fault. trump is bad; the republicans are bad. we already know this. this is not an endorsement of either. but if democrats are too cowardly and feckless and servile to the motivations of the american empire and never do anything for their constituents then why the fuck should anyone vote for them. you want to get mad at someone, why don't you do something useful and stop worrying about team-sports with a purely selfish basis and start hounding the people in power who are supposed to serve you, the voter.

#i think i already said this and frankly idc #uspol #📁.zip #to me personally it's abhorrent and vile to tell palestinians 'biden is facilitating the murder of your people culture and history but you #still have to vote for him!!1' like how is that not unbelievably callous and ghoulish #frankly speaking. a lot of this 'you should be concerned about trump' is going to turn into #blaming palestinians and arabs and muslims and anyone remotely with a conscience for biden's loss #instead of doing something productive like pushing for people in power to do something they'll nitpick and belittle #and tell palestinians + arabs and muslims + everyone who understands that genocide is bad that they SHOULD #settle for a decrepit genocidal monstrous freak who is CURRENTLY facilitating genocide because #it makes THEM feel better and they aren't personally threatened (yet) by the guy currently in power #any and all 'you're not taking trump seriously' comments should be met with extreme skepticism #because i promise i PROMISE that the vast majority of people unhappy with biden are not going to turn around and vote for trump #and if they do? well guess what THAT'S BIDEN'S FAULT! nevermind the vote uncommitted campaign that was very successful and #will be replicated in the near future. but liberals only care about asthetics and superficial and not #about real material change which is why they'll dress up their callousness and racism in a 'you hate gay people if you dont vote for biden' #like this country is already going to shit we are rapidly descending into fascism and i dont see biden doing anything to even remotely #challenge it do you???? once agian. NOT an endorsement of the republican party but my GOD when the 'lesser evil' #is DOING the evil or normalizing the evil then you cannot settle for 'the lesser'! end of story.

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I always wonder with the whole: "The lazy populous doesn't want to work!" is if it's only being said to keep minimum wage at the very, very lowest end of 'survivability.'

The "lazy worker" isn't truly a problem. The employers are.

#politics #this is my old man conspiracy theory #it's insane when you actually start job searching and you apply fucking Everywhere and it's crickets #job announcement: no experience required! we'll train you! you're actually PERFECTLY qualified #you apply and then NOTHING. and then you listen to the news or other people #and they complain about how 'lazy' the modern worker is and how employers are DESPERATE for people to work for them... #...and you'll end up knowing better if you haven't soaked up the individualist corporate shill propaganda i think... #...that propaganda (at least in the US) is the idea that the individual worker is always at fault... #...that if they never get a job - even 'entry-level' - that it is THEIR fault... #...if you don't want to work minimum wage get a maximun-effort job!!!!!... #...if you want to Get Hired then make yourself Hireable!!!!!!!!!... #...you must be Indispensable (but potentially for $7.25/hour)!!! it is Up To You!!!... #...make records! never ask for anything! never complain! never dare bite the corporate hand which feeds you!!!!!!!! #that's the type of shit i grew up with at least. and i cannot buy that it isn't propaganda in a world hostile to any layman #i wonder if the romanticized version of the 60s-70s working class in the US is completely true as well... #...i just wonder if we are idealizing a past which never truly occurred for the worker... #...simply because these tactics Aren't New and Aren't Considered Morally Reprehensible because of the Bottom Line #this last part is tangentially-related but i always question whenever people have rose-colored views of The Past

[widowshill]

— I couldn't care less about your future. — Well, you'd better care, because you're part of it, and so is your wife.

r/v/b for @tortoisesshells.

#victoria devlin starring in: i gave up trying to find my father so i just got a few boyfriends old enough to be my dad. or my uncle. #tortoisesshells #➤ roger collins & victoria winters & burke devlin. ┊ to know how it ends‚ and still begin to sing it again. #➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery. #gifs. #i've been accused of not exactly truth-telling when it comes to posting about r/v ... well. #this is lies. we made it up. but look at them! aren't they just darling! #thank you 60's daytime television. #this is my unethical polycule. the nonmonogamy is consensual and negotiated we're just evil in other ways. #(one of them framed another one for vehicular manslaughter and sent him to prison. #two of them have been the other one's employees at one point or another. #they have all — at some point — accused each other of murder; except for accusing vicki who is by all accounts an angel #and who would NEVER frame her boyfriend for her manslaughter on purpose. although this does happen in canon. accidentally.) #also that she stabs roger with a knife in the au but that's not *really* her fault because she's under hypnotic vampire influence. #(and – moreover that roger a. deserves it and b. enjoys it) #because they are doomed to reenact the machinations of collinsport's tripartite love story. #because a woman in possession of josette's (& laura's) locket; of an adventuring‚ prosperous husband who builds her a home in collinsport; #of a vampire-coded boyfriend also in love with her but doomed chiefly to yearning and the occasional bite; #of a foretold fate of falling from the cliffside; and on top of all that is a brunette – well‚ she must be josette.

[fastcardotmp3]

okay omg that makes so much sense actually about Steve and i think in general he's been such a constant for the party that going into season 5 without him would be really destabilizing and would really open up some space for some really interesting dynamics especially with Dustin and Eddie and Dustin and robin and just robin in general who's tether to the party is gone now, even Nancy who imo always saw him as her safe choice almost? like someone who would always be there in case it didn't work out?? soo all of that said how would you do it?? like how would you kill him??

it WOULD be so destabilizing! and you're right about the dynamics-- the reason I don't like the idea of them saving their Big Loss for the final season is that it doesn't give us any time to see the aftermath of what losing someone that vital to the group looks like, you know?

like the absence of a character you love is, in its own way, a continued presence and I think it's so important to a story like this one that (even if it forgets about it on a frequent basis) is so linked to the varied effects of grief on people

it's also the difference between killing off a character because you as a writer are done with them/ don't need them anymore since the show is ending and letting them die in an impactful way because that's the story being told, which is I think where a lot of people who don't like the idea of steve dying misunderstand where I'm coming from with it, because death is not inherently the end of a story nor the end of a character's importance to it!

but none of that answers your actual question I'm so sorry fjsdklf

I talked a bit about how I would kill steve in a pure replacement of Eddie's death scene here, but if you're giving me the chance to write it from scratch 👀 oh you know I am not going to deny you OR myself that fjasldkfj

Because if we're really leaning into the fact that Steve is the "gets back up" guy, I think his death would sneak up on us slowly until it ultimately just happens.

let me explain

Steve gets torn apart by those bats when he's dragged through the gate at Lover's Lake.

I mean he is well and truly fucked up in ways that aren't fully acknowledged by the show in canon, but what if we made that make sense? What if Steve gets up and keeps going and doesn't complain because he doesn't know how else to go about it?

Even after his arc in season 2 and losing Nancy over his instinct to push forward through pain, we never really see him have to grapple with that again, it's not a character trait he loses and it's a big part of who he is even post-New Stevification.

He's the damn tank, he's got no point of reference for what it looks like to deal with his shit in a healthy or productive manner, he just keeps moving.

So Steve gets messed up. He's bleeding, he's got torn muscles, he's definitely in the process of developing an infection or hypothermia or something walking around the UD with no shoes or shirt, open wounds just in the air like that.

And he doesn't make it a priority. He keeps moving. He gets back up. He gets his friends through that gate and listens to the plans being made and drives the getaway car and he has still not received medical attention.

We don't see Steve hurting save a few winces and grimaces here and there, even though all evidence would point towards the reality that he definitely is, because he doesn't want us to, because he's used to getting hurt close enough to the end of the thing that he can always make it out of the fray before he needs to deal with his own injuries.

He's the guy who keeps going.

He goes all the way through their trek back into the UD, manages to shut off the trailer well enough to keep the bats out even without either him or Dustin getting hurt (a close call, a scary one, but they're both breathing at the end of it, both on their feet).

Steve keeps going. He's wearing a lot of layers, but he can feel the blood soaking through them in heavier spurts now that he's aggravated all the torn flesh on his body with the running and fighting and such.

We see him wince a bit more now, bigger. But he hugs Dustin tight while they wait for their friends.

He makes sure the others get back safe, helps them climb over the mountain of bat's corpses leading up to the trailer and gets everyone back through the gate.

Gets himself back through the gate.

Stands amidst the complicated relief that they're all there but they aren't sure what all has happened yet, aren't sure they've won.

But he keeps standing.

Stays on his feet.

"Hey, Stevie, you OD back there?" Robin speaks up, something suddenly urgent to her shaky teasing as she notices Steve isn't following her as closely anymore on their trek away from the open rift in the ground and back towards where they'd hidden the Winnebago.

He sways slightly, but it's when he tries to smile at her that she sees the crimson shine of blood in his mouth.

"Nah, I'm-- right here with you."

And he collapses.

Unceremonious and on the other side of battle, in this moment when they're so close to finding shelter and safety, Steve's strings get cut and he falls to the floor at their feet and it's chaos.

It's Robin hyperventilating over what she finds when she unzips his jacket-- so much blood, why didn't you say-- this is so much blood-- and it's Dustin reminding him of a promise made in an elevator-- you die, I die, asshole!

It's Eddie trying desperately to call upon any of the first aid Wayne taught him and Nancy sitting quiet and still and barely present with two fingers pressed to Steve's neck, just under his jawline, waiting to feel...

Waiting.

She hardly even needs to check though, Nancy Wheeler, who knows better than most what it feels like in your chest when someone you love is--

"He's gone."

She knows he is. She can feel it. The world is different now and Steve Harrington is dead.

The world is different now because Steve Harrington is dead.

And all there's left for any of them to do is keep going.

#the rambling again god shut up dot #dot post #ask #ask me about my dead steve agenda #LISTEN i would apologize but you're the ones that keep egging me on !!! #not my fault!! #you guys are really gonna make me pull my dead steve fic down off the wip shelf aren't you #i'm in my 'writing things no one wants' era and good for me #cw: mcd

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened. #you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help? #doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do” #“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem” #(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.) #he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again. #something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence? #she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”. #wips tag

[kaeyapilled]

i really didnt see the way alhaitham is acting in the interdarshan as him not wanting kaveh to win so he doesn't move out. in fact that sounds extremely stupid as i type it. sorry to enjoyers of this dynamic but i dont think thats it at all lmao

#i think hes just. whatever emotion lies between ''worried'' and ''annoyed in an affectionate way'' about kaveh #kaveh and his people pleasing lol #idk if people pleasing is the right term for this case actually #but you know what i mean. the way he basically lets people walk over him at times #and pushes himself to help everyone even if it actively puts him at a disadvantage #and the way all of this comes from feeling responsible about things that aren't his fault and the guilt that comes with that mindset #like all the dialogue about kaveh in this event talks about this. they're introducing the character and setting him up for some development #(hopefully. probably) #also some things ive seen people talk about are just. alhaitham being himself. like buddy that's the autism #i seriously don't doubt he read that championship rulebook cover to cover #kavetham #kaveh #alhaitham #my posts #complaining tag #<- a little

[foolishnpd]

I perceive that I'm getting ignored (I'm not really) and I want to scream and kill everyone about it

#lilyroaring #npd safe #I guess it's like. the equivalent to perceiving abandonment in bpd? #doesn't have to actually be happening but even the perception or thought of it might send you splitting #my soul is a stone statue and every time I get ignored #a thousand little demons start smashing it with hammers #and babey I am ready to crumble #it's just this horrible aching pain and void feeling in my chest #I'm being ignored I'm being ignored I'm not getting attention don't I deserve that attention #why are you ignoring me why aren't you paying attention to me now #what's wrong is it my fault did I not speak perfectly was I not perfect enough #am I not trying hard enough to be worthy of love anymore #and it either turns into an internal crash of self hatred #or a split where I despise and look down on whoever dares to ignore me #..... I'm not even being ignored there's no reason to be worked up about it #I would like to give an honorary thank you to my mother for always literally ignoring me #surely that's not a huge part of the problem here :))))

[diabollicallyangelic]

Wow.

#shes always fucking like this #shes akways mad at us #and talking like this to us #and shes like “i guess im the villain even though im just trying to help ” #NO THE FUCK YOU AREN'T #you FAIL to recognize when we're feeling uncomfortable scared or distressed. #i do understand I'M the problem sometimes. i fail to do things #but you make me feel like i want to fucking drown myself every time i do mess up #i never feel good enough #and you hsve said thst you've never wanted kids in the first place TO MY FACE #I'm sorry you're going through things #i understand and see that you are struggling as well #and i know it's hard to help others when you yourself need help #but you not recognizing what the limit is and what your words and actions say #has made me feel like i dont deserve to live #and i dont deserve love #i feel broken #and i feel inhuman #and its your fault #im acting more adult than you and that speaks volumes

[goldentigerfestival]

the beginning of vesperia will always be hilarious to me bc it's like

yuri goes off planning to get the blastia back blah blah blah

finds out estelle is looking for flynn

you'd swear he eyes lit up like a child opening their favorite birthday present bc from that point on he never shuts up about flynn ever again and frankly probably does not want to

and as far as i am concerned takes the opportunity of estelle looking for him to go find him too like he's using it as an excuse to go find and be around him

bc im sorry when he finds flynn he's like

"i've been looking all over for you"

um??? sorry what??? wasn't estelle looking for flynn and yuri just happened to be going in the same direction anyway so they stuck together? wasn't estelle looking for flynn to warn him and yuri had other business that had no relation whatsoever to flynn? wasn't estelle looking for flynn and it just happened to be a coinkydink that yuri was along for the ride while he handled his own business?

"i've been looking all over for you" NAH SLIP OF THE TONGUE NO TAKE BACKS YOU JUST WANTED TO BE WITH HIM AND FOUND A NICE EXCUSE TO DO IT 'CAUSE YOU WEREN'T IN THE KNIGHTS ANYMORE

i could swear half of act 1 is just yuri like "estelle stop running around and getting distracted or being indecisive i wanna see flynn and im trying to be polite and not leave you behind at the same time"

like??? for all her worry and valid reasoning to go looking for him, yuri brings his ass up on the regular like who are you trying to motivate here im sure anyone else but you could be given a pep talk that does not include the name "flynn" zooming out of your mouth

'cause it sure as shit feels like yuri is more antsy about seeing him than estelle is

but also quite frankly it is adorable bc it just makes yuri seem like he's excited to talk abt flynn to someone. someone else who knows flynn? good, great, he can act like a giddy schoolgirl who found someone to talk to her crush abt. he'll pretend it's not that serious and conveniently forget to stop mentioning him when Literally Nobody Fucking Asked.

if i was playing vesperia for the first time you could have told me yuri was starry eyed for flynn within like the first half hour if not earlier and i would have believed you instantly

and considering what yuri is like, shut up it's adorable and i love that for him

#Fluri #im not letting this go and no amount of anything is changing my mind #u ever wonder why i tend to bring them and richbel up in the same posts/tags? #bc they do this fucking shit too they never shut UP abt each other #and they'd scream like you were SLAUGHTERING them if you tried to separate them mid conv #actually scratch that richard WOULD BE doing the murdering if you tried to separate him from asbel #he will behave like you are slaughtering him and then slaughter you and im sorry fellas but that's... that's basically canon #yuri and flynn aren't much better it's just kinda like #they can fight and argue and whine at each other and separate #but only THEY can separate each other from themselves. YOU cannot separate them or there will be biting #anyway this is a shitpost it just got to be a long shitpost so it has a read more cut #not my fault yuri acts like an entire personified shitpost

[uncanny-tranny]

I think as we grow up, we have to be really conscious of romanticizing the world we grew up in in order to scorn how the next generations are growing up.

Nostalgia isn't inherently bad, but especially in political spaces, be very wary of this idea that there is an Ideal Past we must Harken Back To.

It sucks to feel left behind, but such is the human condition. It isn't bad to feel nostalgic, but that doesn't mean that these new generations are inherently "lost" and "need to be saved (by you)", and I think that is very important to remember and try to be conscious of.

#politics #'the world you grew up in no longer exists' frankly... GOOD! #the world i personally grew up in was scary and lonely and traumatizing. no kid today should STILL be growing up like that #the whole 'nostalgia as a poltical means' is rooted in this idea that... #1) we all grew up in a hegemony 2) we all turned out the same 3) the way we grew up had more privileges afforded to us #and i personally like nostalgia! i like watching videocamera videos from 2005 and looking up super specific shit #but nostalgia does not a good world make #INSERT UMBERTO ECO'S FOURTEEN POINTS ON FASCISM #(though i don't always think nostalgia can lead to this in a political sense there is a fine line) #be very mindful of what motivates nostalgiaposting #is it because people miss childhood and how 'simple' it felt? or is there a different reason that motivates this type of posting? #are you romanticizing childhood to the point you are not remembering your childhood /at all/ but the *idea* of it? #and honestly it is SO jarring when my peers are nostalgic because it's like... we aren't even that old!! #it comes across like... the world is hard and it's getting harder and so we cannot chnage and must wistfully think of the past... #...and to me it comes across as almost... doomerist in how end-stage feelings of nostalgia and hopelessness seen #i feel compassion for the impulse to feel like your old life is over and you need to grieve it... #...but certainly that isn't the younger generations fault? especially because WE are now the ones rasing them and we still yet live #(even at our completely decrepit age of not even close to a mid-life crisis (sarcasm and lighthearted))

[keeps-ache]

the worst thing that has come out of me losing every art file from this year is that i can't just eyedrop palettes now. the world is agony

#just me hi #'why weren't your things backed up' my use of neurons is strange and incomprehensible #which might be an oxymoron. but only i am the fool here so #(^ there are so many conflicting words) #mannnn #and i lost my favorite image for noise :( #i could probably find it easy peasy but. still #sigh. sigh. sighs a little harder. sighs #/oh i think i forgot to say i got my computer running :D #sort of! it needs an ethernet cord bc the driver got pulled into a pied piper pyramid scheme but we don't wanna talk about it lmao #OH i also named my computer BoopBedoop. say hello to Boop #was also going around asking my siblings to donate pronouns for xem so if anyone has any let me know :3 #/man my computer has gotten tom bradyed AND pied piper mlmed this year. hashtag geez #girl you have been through so much [<- has been putting her through this] #though you know what the tom brady wasn't my fault so. [hands up] #getting 'tom bradyed' has become a whole meme in our family #watch out he'll get you too!! do NOT sit under shelves that hold books but aren't made for them !! bad vibes hfbvhsf #//in other news... #there is not much news lol #i can't seem to figure out how to install the dashboard fixer this time. no idea why #it'll prolly sort itself out though hfvsh #//i have to fix all my clip studio preferences now :// #sigh. sighs. sighs a little harder. on my way lol :> #bYe

[mustangs-flames]

.

#bad idea but i went on twt for like 5 secs and immediately saw a post saying *all* tmc aus are bad #and now i'm just sat here like 'cool. thank you. sorry you aren't filled with joy and whimsy' #(trying not to get anxious over it bc i'm sure the person wasn't trying to be mean but like... there are some really interesting/good au's- #out there. it's not everyone else's fault that you haven't looked beyond the very popular ones to find one more in line with your interests #anyway yeah. i'll shut up now lmao #sorry for the vent(?) does it even count as one though? #just my anxiety finding things to latch onto lol #idk maybe someone should make a post/compilation of au's in the fandom that are interesting that often get overlooked #might help change some people's opinions on it #i'd do it myself but i don't really interact much with the tmc fandom. i'm just on the edge of it lmao

[mattodore]

"I don’t actually think Theo has any offensive preferences, because he’s not really a fighter. That human instinct to fight back was trained out of him very young… so."

#cw abuse mention #cw child abuse mention #<- mentioned in the tags. i'm adding these cws bc i talk bluntly abt this in the tags so definitely don't look if it's triggering... #river dipping #questionnaire lb #AND FUCK YOU ACTUALLY ! #BANGING MY HEADI NTO A WALL................ THIS IS ONLY QUESTION 71.......................................... #I JUST . GRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #feeling sick already lord why am i doing this actually.......... #i feel so insane but it's like. theo just can't let himself fight back. he can't do it. #it's like...... it's not even about ''i can't do this it'll just make it worse'' to him. like that was how his brain processed it as a kid #like that's what he was taught then. but now as an adult it's about him feeling like he deserves it... like it's his fault. #i think he needs that sense of... control? as well. like if he's being hurt well. he should've prevented it beforehand. #obviously this is only happening because he did something to cause it and it'll stop if he just doesn't do that thing again. #if it's just. if it's not his fault then that makes him feel helpless. if he couldn't stop it - if it was always going to happen regardless #of what he did - then. jesus. like it just fucks with his head even thinking that. it petrifies him. #it's safer in his head to think okay. obviously i've created this situation somehow so i had that control over it and now i can prevent it. #but jesus theo............... you can't. #and then theo does these things almost... almost to prove that. to prove that he's always been in control of his own abuse. #where he uses and then he finds these hook-ups that aren't safe for him or these sketchy ppl and he shoots off at the mouth and. then. #when he gets hurt it's like. he feels vindicated. i caused this. this is my fault. it's always been my fault. #his recklessness is entirely because he just wants to prove it. he just wants to have that. it's... christ. #it's the only thing he feels like he has control over in his life. the violence he faces... it's his. in that way. #and it's one of the only aspects of his life he doesn't feel helpless in. not anymore. not since he was a teenager. #god. #and when he does finally let it out at one point. when he does finally fight back again. it just...... #it tears him up inside. it's one of the parts of the story i'm the most horrified about having to write #just because i know what it does to him. and how it all just spins out of control after. like it ruins everything for him. #christ. #what else is there to say.