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sebspocketsquare · 5 years

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Wishing you were here... 5

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (chatroom)

A/N: Hey guys! here’s the fifth installment. I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know what you think. This one is a little short, but I have big plans for Part 6, which will be posted next monday! ps: if you want to be tagged, please inbox me directly!

Warnings: language, flirting, pet names, feels, nerves, fluff

masterlist

You’re sitting across from each other, not making eye contact.

The table that separates you seems to stretch on for miles.

The air is thick with anxiety and fear, but surprisingly, you’re not the one who’s afraid.

“Bucky..” you start, but he cuts you off,

“You hate me, don’t you?”

You fight back a gasp, appalled that he would think such a thing. Were you confused? Overwhelmed? Sure. But you could never hate him.

“Oh, Bucky.. I.. I couldn’t ever hate you, I just..” a sigh slips from your mouth and you sit back in your chair.

“You’re mad? Scared of me?” He fills in for you, to which you shrug.

“I.. I’m a little upset that you didn’t tell me before I came here, but I.. I guess I never really asked, did I?” You brave making eye contact with him, only to find that he’s burning holes into the tabletop with his eyes. “But.. I’m not afraid of you, Bucky.”

His gaze snaps to yours at the confession, cocking his head with an unreadable expression. “But you know who I am now. What I’ve done. What I’m capable of.”

Another sigh escapes you and you shift in your seat again. “You are not defined by the things you’ve done, Bucky.. you’re more than a.. a..”

“A killer?” His eyes are cold and distant, expression growing more pained by the second.

“Bucky, you.. you’re..” exasperated, you reach out and take his hands in yours, silently willing him to believe the words you were about to speak.

“You are probably the best man I’ve ever met in my life. You’re kind, selfless, thoughtful and respectful. We’ve all done things in our past that we regret. We’re only human.. what matters is that we go forward with the intention to be better than we were the day before. You’ve done that. You’re doing that.”

You’re not sure if the gentle squeeze he gives your hands is intentional or not, until he lifts his eyes to meet yours and his mouth twitches in the corner. “You really think so, kitten?”

“I really do.”

He releases a small breath of relief before letting his smile grow a bit.

You feel a weight lifted from your chest at the sight.

“Can we.. can we just start over? I didn’t come all this way to be mad at each other.” You partly joke, which prompts a soft chuckle from him.

“Of course, kitten. I.. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you from the start.” He squeezes your hand before he speaks again, “You deserved to know.”

You clasp his hand in return, offering up your own smile. “No more secrets from now on. From either of us. Deal?”

“Deal.”

xxx

Time finds the two of you back on the couch, a mess of takeout containers on the coffee table. Bucky is lounging back, feet kicked up on the edge of the table while you’re curled up in the corner, trying to recover from the large amount of food you’d just consumed.

“Ugh, why does Chinese food always make you feel like taking a nap?” You murmur, closing your eyes and letting your head lul back onto the cushion.

Bucky laughs, watching you with soft eyes. “I think it’s the msg or somethin’ like that. You wanna lay down, kitten?”

Your eyes open slowly and you try not to pout, shaking your head. “No, I’m okay, I.. I’m not ready to stop hanging out yet.. if that’s okay with you.”

His smile is blinding, “Of course, kitten. We can hang out as long as you’d like.”

He moves his arm to the back of the couch, making his chest look more inviting than ever.

“You’re always welcome to, y’know.. use me as a pillow, if ya want..” His cheeks turn a light shade of pink as he speaks, teeth casually sinking into his lower lip while he waits for your response.

You don’t trust your voice to not betray you, so you opt for crawling closer to him, slowly and steadily, until your ear is resting over his heart and your arm is wrapped across his waist.

His heart thunders against his ribs, it’s beat nearly matching yours in a nervous song.

His arm slips from the couch and over your shoulders, pulling you that much closer as he hums softly. “Better?” He murmurs, fingertips ghosting over your shoulder cap.

You nod against his chest, letting out a breathless, “better” before you let your eyes flutter closed.

You miss the way he watches you sleep for hours, his features completely taken over with a look that could only be described as adoration.

xxx

When you wake, you’re a shivering, anxious mess. You’re in a cold, dark room, in an unfamiliar bed and you’re not sure how you got there.

After a few deep breaths, you realize that this must be the guest room. Bucky probably carried you here after you’d fallen asleep on his chest.

The mental image of him lifting you from the couch has your stomach fluttering.

You close your eyes, taking a few more steadying breaths, and listening to the sounds reverberating in Bucky’s apartment. You hear light traffic go by, dogs barking in the distance, and soft, sweet music coming from a room close by.

Must be he was having trouble sleeping.

Your watch reads 2:45am, and your heart aches at the fact that he’s still awake. Was he restless? Anxious? Did he have a nightmare? Was there anything you could do to help?

A million thoughts raced through your mind, and after 15 minutes of contemplation, you decide to do something about it.

After quickly changing from your airplane attire into a pajama set, you tip-toe your way out of your room and down the hallway, towards a light blossoming from beneath the last door on your right.

The room the music is coming from.

You take a moment to give yourself a silent pep talk, to keep yourself from backing out of this decision. Your fist is raised, ready to rap against the wooden frame, but when it comes down to it, your hand drops back to your side, instead.

You curse your cowardice silently, turning to return to your room, but the sound of his door knob clicking stops your movement.

“Kitten?”

He appears in the doorway, adorned in a dark grey shirt that contoured his muscles perfectly and concern etched into his eyebrows. His eyes scan over you, searching for any sign of distress or injury. When he finds evidence of neither, his gaze lands on your face, hand reaching out to rest on your elbow. “You alright?”

A nervous, breathless laugh leaps from your throat as you nod. “I-I.. I couldn’t sleep, and I.. I heard your music so, I..” Your eyes are drawn to his as if by magnetism, warmth flooding your entire body as you speak your next words, “I-I thought maybe.. we could keep each other company..”

He stares at you for a silent minute, almost as if he can’t believe you’re standing before him, asking him this.

“Of course, kitten. Come in.”

He steps back, opening the door further for you to slip in.

The first thing you’re aware of is that his bedroom smells of peppermint and vanilla and you love the combination.

There isn’t much decor to the room, just a few bookshelves, a desk and his bed. The blue curtains and bedding set match the color of his eyes and you can’t imagine a more perfect setting for him to spend his time in.

He gently closes the door behind him, eyes trained on your every move, gauging your emotions without having to ask.

“I like your room..” you tell him as your fingers skim over the spines of a few of his books, before turning to face him. “It’s very.. You.”

He chuckles, shaking his head ever so slightly as he perches on the edge of his mattress. “I always thought it was so… boring.” He laughs again, meeting your eyes with a teasing glint in his own. “Are you calling me boring, kitten?”

You let out your own giggle, shaking your head and slowly closing the distance between the two of you, stopping only when you’re standing between his thighs. “You could never be boring.”

He hums in thought, hands moving of their own accord to come and rest on your hips. The action ignites a spark under your skin, spreading like wildfire when he squeezes gently. “Would you.. Maybe.. Want to lie down with me..? I’ll behave, I promise.”

Concern shines in his eyes as he waits for a response, and you can tell he’s quite sure you’re going to respond with, ‘no’, but it's surprising to the both of you when a small, “yes” slips past your lips.

TAGS: (IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED, PLEASE INBOX ME, ITS GETTING DIFFICULT TO KEEP TRACK OF TAGS VIA NOTES). @mindingmyownbusiness @plumfondler @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @loricameback @tinaferraldo @geminimoonbeamx @preserumsteverogers @moderapoppins @lowkeysebby @buckyshattergirl @jayattemptstoruletheworld @the-observant-fangirl @moondancewrites @moonbeambucky @trinityjadec @stevieang @bionic-buckyb @eyecandybarnes @propertyofpoeandbucky @promarvelfangirl @ballyhoobarnes @bucky-plums-barnes @cate-lynne @witchymarvelspacecase @imaginingbucky @theimpossibleg1rl @babygurl8840 @wonderlandmind4 @buckysthing @formulafun @curvybihufflepuff @fanficsformarvelkillme @shadyskit @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @reading--mermaid @fuckmestan @siliverin @verygraphicink @sallyp-53 @thatsbucknasty @steadyphantomcat @booktease21 @kiki5283 @lostinspace33

#bucky #bucky x reader #wishing you were here..#series #sometimes i write #bucky barnes x reader #chatroom fic #sebspocketsquare

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