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#if your favourite yuri isn't here it's okay
titaniumions · 21 days
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marismoments39 · 5 months
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Today I am giving you just a full clip of questions
What's your favorite animal? Colour? Favorite class to take? Favorite thing to play on piano? Favorite Yuru Yuri episode? Least favorite?
-npa
Hey npa!! Missed ya!!! Thanks for the questions aaa thanks for the questions!!! Here are the best answers I've got!! My favourite animal's humans!! Some may not see this as a valid answer, but I don't care! they're my favourite, and I'm proud to be a human myself
Favourite COLOUR..??
GOD I hate this question. just cuz I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT
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Here is my favourite colour. Not quite green, not quite blue. now, "blue" itself is also a nightmare because "blue" and "lightblue" are different coloured but "light blue" is actually "cyan" so I guess this is a mix between green and cyan but it's NOT turquoise cuz turquoise is WAY more blue and this isn't, isn't aquamarine I don't THINK?? I DON'T KNOW!! THANK GOD WE'RE ON THE INTERNET CUZ IF YOU ASKED ME IRL I'D BE STUMPED (btw this is supposed to be more blue than green but the screen I'm on rn is sorta scuffed so tell me if it's more green)
THAT GOES FOR MY 2nd FAVOURITE COLOUR TOO
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on the opposite end of the spectrum to my 1st favourite colour, THIS ONE DOESN'T HAVE A GOOD NAME EITHER!! REDDISH PINK? MANGENTA? REDDISH MAGENTA?? GAHH
And my 3rd favourite colour? White!
Now! Favourite class to take? Japanese! There's no contest. sadly, I received news that my favourite teacher, my japanese teacher, is leaving the school :( I hope we have a good teacher next year.. if any teacher at all
now, favourite yuruyuri episode? PROBABLY s2e11, it's so special to me! I don't rewatch it that much tho, it's too sad for me! that goes for s1e11, s3e12, and s2e03, I think I like s2e03 too! I also like it's title, "Chocolate and Tears and Girls and Girls and Isobe Fries" OH ALSO I LIKE s3e08 YEAH
LEAST favourite episode? I don't like s1e6... e4? uh, it's titled "When Akari and the Cicadas cry," didn't really like.. uh, the akari and chinatsu scene! but I'm glad that chinatsu's character got to grow from it... also we got a killer song from it...
I HAVE A LEAST FAVOURITE MANGA CHAPTER THO!! CHAPTER 153: "AND THEN THERE WERE NONE," SCREW THAT! SCREW THAT ONE SO MUCH! GO AWAY!!!
oh! Favourite piano piece to play? Minna Daisuki no Uta! From s2e11! these questions fit together so nicely~ that song's fun to play, but I also LOVE playing Rolling girl because my FINGERS!! they get to do FUN STUFF!!! it's AMAZING for, when i'm fidgety! also, it's an ANGRY song, so I get to POUND the keys!! make notes LOUD!!! and also the bass is SO FUN okay maybe I change my answer
I think that's all of the questions. THANK YOU!! I'd love for you to keep 'em coming! do what you want tho lol
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stargazer-sims · 2 years
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Victor you find a genie and are granted three wishes, what do you wish for and why?
Thanks for the ask, @dandylion240 !
We'll get Victor to answer this in his own words, becuase his narrative voice is actually one of my favourites among my OCs.
______
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Victor: So, I guess the whole 'wishing for infinite wishes' thing probably isn't allowed, right? I think that's what my Uncle Stephen would call a loophole.
This is actually a kind of hard question, because a lot of stuff I might've wished for in the past isn't stuff I'd wish for now. Like, I'm pretty sure if you'd asked me this, even a year ago, I might've wished for my dad and Caroline to be alive. I'm not so sure I'd wish for that now, at least not for Dad. Yeah... part of me is always going to be sad about having to grow up without him, but I think I've finally started to come to terms with everything that happened. If Dad was still here, I think my life might've been drastically different, you know? Julian's been a great support for me, and even though neither of us have ever thought of it as a father-son relationship, I guess it kind of is, and I'm happy he's going to be my official stepfather soon. He's my mom's soulmate, and I mean... how could I wish for something that would keep my mom from being with her soulmate, now that I know what it's like to be with somebody who's literally the other half of your spiritual matched set?
Okay, so I guess my first wish would be for Caroline to still be alive. She was only two when she died. She never got to experience anything much, and it's not fair that she didn't. Plus, I've seen what it's been like for my cousins and friends to grow up with siblings, and I know I would've loved that. I think about Caroline a lot, and I often wonder what she'd be doing now. I wish we'd both had the opportunity to find out.
For my second wish, I'd wish for Yuri to be better. Like, totally cured of his chronic illnesses and everything that goes with that. One of the hardest things for me is to know that he's suffering, even a little bit, and that there's really nothing I can do about it. I don't mind taking care of him, but I wish it wasn't necessary. He's in pain nearly all the time, even though he tries to hide it, and that breaks my heart. All of his medical issues have held him back from doing a lot of stuff that he might otherwise have done, and I feel like he deserves more in life than just a steady cycle of flare-ups and remissions, medication, pain and chronic fatigue. Sure, if he was well, our lives would be a lot different than they are now, but I could live with that. All I want is for him to be happy and not hurting.
The third thing... that's gonna be just for me. I'd wish to have a chance at either an Olympic gold medal or a World Championship gold medal. Like, I felt as if I was so close this year, and then my accident happened, and I'm probably never gonna snowboard again, much less have a shot at anything international. I wanted to make the World Championship so bad, you have no idea. So, I'd wish for that; getting into the Snowboarding World Championship and placing in the top three in at least one of my events.
Honestly, I know all that stuff is impossible. It's interesting to think about, but also kind of depressing because I know it'll never come true. I think I just need to work on figuring out some new goals and working for those. I have no clue what I'm gonna do with my life now, but I'd rather be doing something than just sitting around wishing for stuff.
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stargazer-sims · 2 years
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Journal Entry #44 (part three)
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Yuri
To say the hospital isn't my favourite place would be a massive understatement. I have the most distressing and traumatic memories associated with hospitals, and walking through the emergency department entrance with my boss on this terrible January afternoon, I knew today would rate high on my list of bad experiences.
We made our way to the waiting area. The pungent smell of antibacterial cleaning products hung heavily in the air, and it made my nostrils burn and my stomach lurch. The lights were so bright that I wanted to close my eyes, and I almost stopped walking.
Mr. Tanaka put a hand on my shoulder, evidently curious as to why I’d slowed down. The contact made me flinch, but I didn't pull away from him. I took a deep breath and told myself that it was okay for him to touch me like that. Nothing would happen. He was trying to help. When I exhaled, the sound that came out of me was a tiny but nevertheless alarming whimper.
"Yuri? Are you okay?" Mr. Tanaka asked quietly.
"No," I said. "I don't think I am."
"Let's find your friends," he said.
My friends weren't difficult to locate. They were seated together on a pair of facing sofas, Takahiro and Fox on one, and Seiji and Sakura on the other.
Seiji was curled into the corner of his sofa, facing away from everyone. It looked as if he were trying to make himself as small as possible, but Seiji is a large man by any standards, and even in his strange, upright semi-fetal position, he was taking up most of the space. Sakura was seated rigidly next to him, staring straight ahead, but apparently seeing nothing.
On the other sofa, Taka looked as if he'd completely melted in Fox's arms, and not in a good way. He lay limply against Fox's broad chest, one hand curled loosely around the fabric of the front of his sweater. Even from a distance, I could tell he'd been crying. One of Fox's hands was in his hair, stroking gently. He was saying something to Taka, but I couldn't catch what it was.
"Sakura," I said, once we'd gotten close enough.
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My voice came out sounding strained, but it was sufficient to get her attention. In fact, everyone looked up when they heard me, including Seiji, who uncurled himself and turned enough to lower his feet to the floor. I was shocked at the sight of him. His face had the pale, greyish cast of someone who’d been throwing up, or was about to, and it was obvious he’d been crying more than Taka had been. He looked awful.
Sakura stood up immediately and started toward me, but she hadn't even made it three steps before she was overtaken by somebody else.
My little sister Yuki came flying at me, seemingly from nowhere. I guess she'd been sitting on the floor next to the sofa Taka and Fox were on, either actually hidden from my view or having escaped my notice because I was focused on my friends. Yuki threw herself at me and nearly knocked me over in the process. The second I knelt down and put my arms around her, she began to sob uncontrollably.
"Yuki, it's okay," I said, even though it wasn't. "I'm here. I've got you."
A thousand thoughts raced through my head in that moment. I didn't like that Yuki was here. These were not appropriate circumstances for a ten year old child to be thrown into. But, at the same time, Yuki's presence meant that our father was here somewhere, too. Of course he'd have to bring Yuki with him. There'd be no one at home to watch her after school, now that Hana and Misaki were gone. Our paternal grandfather would certainly still be at the office, and Grandmother might be off somewhere on an outdoor shoot rather than in her studio today.
"Papa told his assistant to get me from school and bring me here," Yuki said, once her tears subsided a little. It was as if she'd been reading my thoughts. "He said... he said Papa couldn't pick me up himself because there was an emergency."
That meant Papa came straight here after Sakura called him. I got some measure of relief from that.
"I'm glad Koichi was able to pick you up,” I said. “I wouldn't want you to be left at school."
"What's going to happen?" Yuki asked. "Ms. Fujimoto said Victor got hurt, but nobody will tell me anything."
“Victor fell while he was snowboarding,” I told her. “I don’t know any more than you do. That’s why Papa’s here, though. He came to help. He's been talking to the doctors and finding out everything while I was on my way back from the city.
“But… Papa doesn’t like Victor,” Yuki said, worry and trepidation in her tone. “Are you sure he’s really going to help?”
“If someone you didn’t like was in trouble, would you still help them?”
“Yeah, but—”
“Sometimes, situations are bigger and more important than the relationship between the people involved,” I said. “Helping is the right thing to do, and I think Papa knows that.”
Yuki nodded, but she didn’t seem convinced. “I hope Victor will be okay.”
“I hope so, too.” Still on the floor and hugging my sister, I glanced up at Sakura. “Did you see my father?”
“If he looks like an older, fatter version of you, then yes, I think so,” Sakura said. “We saw him going to the registration desk, but he didn’t talk to us.”
“He didn’t even check on Yuki?”
“He was gone before Yuki got here with that nerdy younger guy.”
“Koichi isn’t nerdy!” Yuki interjected fiercely. “Don’t say that about him! He's really smart and nice, and he’s my friend.”
“Shh… Yuki, it’s okay,” I said.
“It’s not!”she said, beginning to cry again. “This day is horrible, and it keeps getting worse, and… and I hate everything about it!”
"I know, baby," I said. "I hate this day too, but I love you."
"I wish I could do magic and just fix everything," she said.
"Me too," I whispered against the top of her head.
I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, holding onto each other as if we were the last people on the planet. It might've been several minutes, or it could have been only a few seconds. My sense of time, and maybe even my sense of reality, were completely distorted.
I felt like I was trapped in a surreal dream, like I had been dropped without warning into somebody else's life. It couldn't be my life. In my perfect world, my beautiful baby sister didn't cry like her heart was shattered, my two best friends didn't look like they were being haunted by a horror from the past, and my knight in shining armour was not the one who needed saving. Everything felt wrong and, like Yuki, I wished I could utter a magic spell to set it right.
It was Sakura who drew me back to some level of awareness. “You should tell the woman at the registration desk who you are, Yuri."
“Right,” I said.
“Would you like me to come with you, Yuri?” Mr. Tanaka asked.
“Yes, please. I’d appreciate that.”
“I’m coming too,” Yuki declared.
“No,” I said. “I think there’s something really important that you should do over here instead.”
“Like what?”
“I think Seiji really needs someone to help him,” I told her. “I think he could use some company.”
Over Yuki’s shoulder, I caught Seiji's small, grateful smile. "Yeah," he said. "I'd like it if you'd sit here and talk to me for a minute, Yuki."
She was reluctant, but after a second or two, she let go of me and stepped back. Then, she climbed onto the sofa next to Seiji.
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Getting to my feet was harder than I expected. I didn't want to admit to anyone how unwell I was feeling, mostly because I didn't want to give anyone the impression I was trying to make any part of this situation about me, but also because I didn't think I could handle any of them touching me, even to help me up. The last thing I wanted was to panic, and I was afraid that was exactly what I'd do if anyone other than my sister made physical contact with me.
Mr. Tanaka walked with me to the registration desk where a woman with an obviously practiced neutral expression greeted us with "Can I help you?"
I told her who I was and explained to her why I was there. She consulted her computer screen for a moment, nodded to herself, and then picked up her phone. She had a brief conversation with someone on the other end of the line that concluded with, "Oh, really? That's good timing. His husband is here at the desk right now. Okay, I'll ask him to wait. Thank you." She placed the phone receiver into its cradle and returned her attention to me. "Mr. Okamoto-Nelson, if you could just wait here, they said Dr. Sato will be up in a minute to speak to you.”
I was momentarily caught off guard at hearing the doctor's name. Victor's GP is Dr. Sato, but surely it couldn't be the same one? That would've been too much of a coincidence. Besides, hadn't Sakura said the ER doctor who spoke English was a woman? Although Victor's GP does speak English, he's a man in his early sixties and doesn't exactly put forward the image of being energetic or quick-moving enough to work in an emergency department.
This Dr. Sato, as it turned out, was Lily Sato, a woman who didn't appear to be entirely Japanese and who looked like she might be in her late thirties or early forties. When she introduced herself, she started off in English, and one of the first things I noticed was that she spoke it with a British accent even more pronounced than mine.
My parents hired a live-in tutor for me when I was growing up. Jack was from a place in the UK called Henford-on-Bagley, and he taught me English, so I suppose that's how my accent happened. To be honest, though, I'm not sure I even realized I spoke English that way until I met Victor. The very first time Victor and I talked on the phone, he pointed it out to me. He hadn't actually needed to, since I'd heard immediately that his accent was not the same as mine. He said he hadn't been expecting that, and it'd taken him by surprise.
"Why don't we go to a room where we can speak privately?" Dr. Sato said, once introductions had been exchanged. She made eye contact with Mr. Tanaka. "Are you a relative as well?"
He nodded almost imperceptibly at me, and didn't miss a beat when he told her, "I'm Yuri's uncle."
"Yes. Uncle Haru," I said, flabbergasted at how smoothly he'd spun out that little white lie, and infinitely grateful for it too. "Would it be all right if he comes with us?"
"Of course," Dr. Sato said.
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'Uncle Haru' and I followed her down the stairs and through a big set of double doors. She led us a short distance down a corridor and then into a small room with a sign on the door that said quiet.
My next shock came when we stepped through the door and I saw my father sitting by himself at one end of a sofa. He leapt to his feet the moment we entered, and hurried toward me.
"Yuri!"
Startled by the sudden movement, I took a step back and inadvertently collided with Mr. Tanaka. His calm assurance of, "Yuri, it's all right," was the tenuous anchor that kept me from bolting from the room.
My father glowered at him, but didn't say anything.
"Please, have a seat," Dr. Sato said. It was spoken pleasantly enough, but it wasn't really a suggestion.
My father resumed his seat at the end of the sofa. I sat at the other end, and Mr. Tanaka positioned himself between us. The doctor settled on the other sofa, directly across from me
"Mr. Okamoto-Nelson—" she began.
"It's Yuri," I said. "You can call me Yuri."
"Yuri," she echoed. "As you know, I've been looking after your husband."
I nodded. "How is he? Can I see him?"
"He's in radiology at the moment, having x-rays of his arms and chest," she said. "I've already decided to admit him, and your father has already signed the paperwork for him, so he'll go to a room once his x-rays are done, and then you can see him."
"Okay," I said, just to show that I understood. I took a steadying breath, but still faltered as I asked, "Can you tell me... How serious is it?"
"That's what we're doing our best to determine. He's most certainly sustained a head injury. We’ve already sent him for a CT scan of his head and neck, so we can determine the extent of it.” she explained. “He has sensation in all his limbs, so that’s a positive sign, but I’m very concerned about his ability to communicate. The paramedics said he was unconscious initially, but he's been conscious since we've had him here. He’s had periods of alertness, but he didn’t seem able to focus on anything we asked him.”
"But, he can talk?"
"He can," she confirmed. "He just hasn't made a lot of sense." She paused for a second, as if she was thinking something over. "Are you aware of anyone called Elsa? A friend or family member, perhaps? He kept asking for her."
Despite the gravity of our conversation, I suddenly found myself wanting to laugh. "Elsa is his snowboard."
"Oh," said Dr. Sato. "That’s… unexpected."
"Not if you know Victor," I said. "When will you get the test results?"
"We'll be able to see the x-rays as soon as they're done, and the technician is probably reading the CT results right now, so we should have that one fairly soon, too. I've also asked the ophthalmologist on call to come down and have a look at him. So, we should have a much clearer picture for you soon."
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"An ophthalmologist?" I echoed. "An eye doctor? Is there something wrong with his eyes?"
"He was experiencing some blurred vision. That could be due to the head injury or it could be an injury to the eye itself," Dr. Sato said. "He's got quite a lot of bruising on the left side of his face, particularly around his eye, and we think he may have collided with something."
"One of the gates on the course," I said.
"Pardon?"
"Parallel giant slalom. It's an alpine snowboarding event. A race. Two riders go through two parallel courses at the same time, and they each have to make turns around the red or blue gates. The one who's the fastest moves on, and the other one is eliminated." I didn't know why I was explaining this. I was rambling aimlessly, unable to prevent myself from doing it. "It's Victor's best event. He loves going fast."
"I don't know much about snowboarding, I'm afraid," the doctor said. "All I can tell you is that whatever your husband collided with, it may have saved his life by slowing his trajectory. The paramedic seemed to think he was going around seventy kilometers per hour."
"At least that," I confirmed. "Do you think the vision problems will be permanent?"
"We won't know until the ophthalmologist examines him. I'll come and speak to you again when we have all the results, and then we'll have a prognosis and we'll be able to make a treatment plan going forward."
"All right," I said, because there was really nothing else I could say at that point.
"Do you have any questions?" the doctor inquired.
I shook my head. "I just want to see Victor."
"Very soon, you can. Once he's settled in his room, someone will come and fetch you."
"Thank you," I said.
She offered me a small smile. "You're welcome. I need to get back to my patients, but I'll find you and let you know what's happening as soon as we have an update for you."
All I could do was nod in acceptance.
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As soon as the door closed behind Dr. Sato, the stillness in the room was shattered. My father turned toward my boss and demanded, "All right, now that the doctor is gone, you can tell me who the hell you are, and what you're doing with my son."
"I'm Haruhito Tanaka," said my boss, unflappable as ever. "Haru to my friends, but you can call me Mr. Tanaka. And you're the father? I've heard a lot about you."
"Kenji Okamoto," Papa said. "Yes, I'm Yuri's father. And I presume you're the employer, now that I've heard your name."
"Yes," Mr. Tanaka said.
"Well, thank you for coming from the city with Yuri, but I think it's appropriate for you to leave now. We'll be fine without you from this point."
"I think that's up to Yuri to decide, don't you?"
"No," said my father. "I do not. This has nothing to do with you, Tanaka-san. It's a family matter, not something in which to involve a stranger."
"Interesting you should call me that," Mr. Tanaka observed. "I may be wrong, but from my understanding, I'm less of a stranger to Yuri than you are.”
"Haru," I began, using his given name to get his attention. "This isn't—"
"No, Yuri, let him go on," Papa said. "I'm curious to know why this man thinks he has more of a place in your life than I do."
There were so many ways I could have responded to that. First and foremost, I could have pointed out that Mr. Tanaka talks to me practically every working day. He's given me guidance and advice, not only for my career but for my life outside of work as well. Unlike my father, he's been kind to me. He's made a genuine effort to get to know me and to understand and accommodate my needs.
"When was the last time you've spoken to him?" Mr. Tanaka asked. "You can't claim a place in the life of someone you don't even know."
"How dare you imply that I don't know my own son?"
"I'm not implying anything," said Mr. Tanaka. "I'm simply making an observation."
"I'll thank you to keep your observations to yourself," Papa said. "My relationship with Yuri isn't your business. You don't have the right to—"
"Stop!" I exclaimed. "Both of you... stop." My voice caught on the last word, but I pulled in a ragged breath and went on, "Please. You're not helping, and this is difficult enough without a pointless argument."
My father glared. Judging by his face and body language, he wanted to keep going, but to his credit, he didn't.
As for Mr. Tanaka, he immediately looked contrite and said. "I apologize. You're correct. This isn't the time or the place. I'm just concerned about you."
"I appreciate that you're concerned for me," I said.
"I should go," he said.
I didn't really want to see him leave, but I knew it would be better if he did. It was clear that he and my father could not be in the same room together, and although i valued Mr. Tanaka's support, I didn't have the emotional stamina to be the referee between Papa and him.
"I'll call you later and let you know what's going on," I told him.
"Don't hesitate to call me any time, if you need anything," he said
"Thank you," I said. "For everything you've done today."
"I'm glad I could help. If you're not able to work on Monday, let me know, okay?"
"I will."
"I'm off to the train station, then. Take care of yourself, Yuri." He headed toward the door, but just as he was about to leave, he turned slightly to look back at Papa. "And you, Okamoto-san. Let me give you some free advice, from one father to another. Everything you say and do in front of your children matters, and if you're not doing everything you can to protect your relationship with them..." He paused, perhaps thinking better of what he'd been about to say. "Listen, your son is an amazing kid, and all I'm saying is that you shouldn't throw away your chance to learn that for yourself."
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stargazer-sims · 2 years
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Journal Entry #39
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Shirayuki
Hi, everybody! Remember me? It's your favourite local super spy and internet personality, Yuki Okamoto!
Remember that time when I was staying at Yuri and Victor's house and they let me record something in their journal? Well, I'm doing it again because I remembered the password, and I found out some stuff that I feel like I really have to share my thoughts about.
Okay, first of all, I'm going to be staying with Yuri and Victor again. They're in Canada right now, which is really far away, but they'll be home in a couple of days. I can't wait to see Yuri and tell him everything that happened since he's been away. There's been a lot.
The biggest news is that Mama is going to stay with Uncle Kaz in Del Sol Valley for six months. That's in America, and she has to go there for work. I'm not exactly sure what she's going to do there, but it sounds like it's super important and she's the only one who can do it. She was supposed to take Hana with her too, but I'm not sure if that's going to happen now. But, I'll come around to that part in a few minutes.
I guess I should explain that I'm not going to be staying at Yuri's house the whole time Mama is gone. She says I'm going to be there every weekend, and during school holidays. I might go there after school on some days too, or Yuri might come here and stay with me until Papa gets home from the office. I'd like it if Yuri came over. We could play on the swings, just like we used to when he still lived here. It used to be his swing set when he was a kid. He says it's one of his favourite things of all time.
I have a lot of different feelings about Mama going away. Mostly, I'm sad because she won't be here to hug me and talk to me and fix my hair and help me with my homework. She says we'll talk every day on the phone or online, but it's not the same thing. I can't hug her through a video chat on Papa's laptop. I guess I could hug the laptop, but it wouldn't hug me back, and it wouldn't smell like jasmine.
I'm also a little bit scared because even though I'm going to be at Yuri's house on weekends, I'm still mostly going to be at home with Papa and Misaki, and maybe Hana. Misaki is our housekeeper. She lives here with us, and she does things like cooking and cleaning and, apparently, aromatherapy massages. I don't know for sure about that last part, because she's never given me a massage, but I overheard Papa saying something to her about it. Misaki bosses me around, which I don't like. She thinks she's in charge of me, but she's not.
But, the reason I'm kind of scared is because of Papa's moods. That's what Mama calls them. Sometimes it's like he's sad and angry at the same time, for no reason, and nobody can talk to him when he's like that. I've even heard him crying in his bedroom before, although I'm sure he wouldn't like it if he knew anyone knew about that. When he's feeling bad, nothing anyone does to comfort him seems to help. Nobody can cheer him up; not Mama or Misaki and not even me.
It's scary because I don't want him to feel like that, and I don't know what to do, and if it happens when Mama isn't here, I don't know who I'll ask if I need help with something. Not Misaki, that's for sure. I'd have to call Yuri or Victor, or maybe Grandmother.
I guess the only good part is, if Mama isn't here, Papa won't be able to fight with her when he's in one of his moods. If he's more angry than sad, he tends to yell a lot and sometimes he says awful things. I don't know if he means any of it or not, but even if he doesn't, it still hurts people. When I tell him he's hurting people, he gets even more angry, so I've mostly stopped mentioning it.
I wish he wouldn't be like that, but I'm starting to think maybe there's something wrong with him, and he can't help it. Maybe he needs to see a doctor, although I probably can't suggest that to him without him getting mad about it.
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Anyway, on the subject of Papa getting mad at people, he seriously lost it on Hana a few days ago. She totally deserved it, though. Hana has done a lot of horrible stuff, but this time I think she went way too far. I mean, the police were here and everything. When the police come to your house, you know it's bad.
It happened last Tuesday. I was sitting at the table, doing my homework and minding my own business when the police knocked on the front door. Misaki let them in, and I could hear them asking if this was where Hana Okamoto lives. Of course, Misaki told them yes. Then, they said they needed to speak with Hana about an incident. I tried really hard to find out what it was about, but they went upstairs to Hana's room, and Misaki caught me trying to sneak up there to eavesdrop, so I didn't hear anything.
As it turned out, I found out all about it later, when Papa got home from the office. Misaki must've told him what happened, and I probably don't need to tell you that he wasn't pleased.
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At that time, I was in my room which is next to Hana's room. I was drawing at my art table, which is really close to the wall that separates our two rooms, so I overheard most of the conversation between Papa and Hana. The quick version of the story is that Hana's boyfriend tried to start a fight with Victor at his job, and it was because Hana told him a bunch of lies about Victor and Yuri to make him angry, and he decided to confront Victor about it. I also found out that Hana's boyfriend used to be Yuri's boyfriend, which is super weird to me.
Anyway, Victor didn't fight, but he got hurt, and somebody at his job called the police, so now I think Hana's boyfriend is going to be in big trouble. Hana might be in trouble with the police, too. Personally, I kind of hope she is. I always knew she was mean, but I don't know why she'd ever want to hurt somebody as nice and gentle as Victor. I love Victor. He's the kindest person I know. It'd serve Hana right if she had to go to jail.
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I tried to imagine the scene as I listened to what was going on behind the wall. Papa would be standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, like he usually does when he's annoyed. Hana would be gesturing with her hands, the same way Mama and Yuri both do when they're trying to make important points. The tension in there would be something you could feel, like electricity in the air just before a big thunderstorm.
At one point, after most of the main details came out, Papa said, "I can't believe this, Hana! No... no, I can. It's typical of you."
"Is that a compliment or a criticism?" she asked.
"It's certainly not a compliment. I'm appalled, to say the least."
"Why? I would've thought you'd be impressed at my ability to engineer a situation to my advantage."
"Excuse me?" Papa said, and he sounded outraged. "Are you suggesting you did this to impress me? If so, you failed, because I am not at all impressed."
"No, of course I didn't do it to impress you," Hana said. "I did it for myself. Aren't you the one who always says I should do whatever it takes to get the results I want?"
"Yes, whatever it takes, within reason," Papa said. "That doesn't include creating drama for your own amusement, and deliberately harming people. It most definitely doesn't include hurting your brother and brother-in-law."
"Why do you care? You don't even like Victor, and you've practically disowned Yuri. Not that I blame you, considering how much he apparently hates you anyway."
"Regardless of any of that, there's absolutely no justification for what you've done," he said. "I can't excuse your behaviour. It's unacceptable."
"Whatever," was her response. I wasn't really surprised. It's so typical of her not to care about anyone but herself.
Papa was obviously not going to accept her attitude, because he reacted with, "You'd do well to take this situation seriously, Hana. In case it's escaped your notice, you've been implicated in a crime."
"I didn't do anything," she said.
"You don't think inciting someone to commit an assault on another person qualifies as 'something'?"
"I'm not responsible for what Ren does," Hana said. "I didn't tell him to beat anyone up."
"I suppose you're going to tell me that you had absolutely no idea it was possible he'd react that way," Papa said. "That you were caught completely unaware by how violent he is?"
"He’s not violent. He was defending my honour. Victor provoked him.”
“I find it difficult to imagine Victor provoking anyone.”
“He was harassing me,” Hana said. “Texting me and leaving me voicemails. Ren wasn’t going to stand by and let him get away with that, especially since too much stress isn’t good for me right now.”
“I highly doubt Victor has been harassing you.”
“He was.”
"Forgive me if I don't believe that,”Papa said.
"You can believe what you want."
"Well, I suppose it doesn't matter what I believe in the end, does it?" he said. "At this point, it's up to the police, and the court after that."
"Nothing's going to happen," Hana told him.
"Is that what you think?"
"It's what I know."
"Then, I'm sorry to contradict you, but quite a lot is going to happen. First of all, you're not going to be joining your mother in America until this whole mess is sorted out, and second of all, you're not to see that man again," Papa said. "And furthermore, if the police decide your involvement is enough for you to be charged alongside him, I will not be helping you make it go away."
I could hardly believe what happened next. Hana started laughing. I'll bet my face was just like a character in an anime whenever they get really surprised, with their eyes wide and their mouth hanging open. I was glad nobody could see me, and I was extra glad nobody heard the shocked gasping sound I made.
"We don't need your help," Hana said. "Ren's father is a high court judge."
There was a long silence, and I wondered what was going on. I pictured Hana looking smug, and Papa trying to hold his temper in. His face would be pale and his forehead would be all creased with the effort.
After what felt like a zillion years, I heard him say, "Ren's father is Nori Kitagawa?"
"Yes," Hana said.
"Thank you for confirming that," Papa said.
He sounded way too calm. I couldn't help feeling a little scared, not because I was worried about Hana, but because I could tell Papa was angry beyond the point of shouting, and that's never a good thing.
"Why are you smiling?" Hana demanded.
"I'm not smiling. I'm thinking."
"What?"
"Hana," he said. "You've got a lot to learn about the world. If you want to play dangerous games, make sure you're prepared for every possible outcome."
"What are you talking about?"
"Your grandfather plays golf with Justice Kitagawa. Did you know that?"
"No."
"Sometimes they invite me."
"You wouldn't dare try—" she began.
"I have every right to speak to the judge if I wish," he said. "I'm sure he already knows what his son has been up to, but he might be very interested to learn about your involvement, and I'm sure he'll agree that you and Ren shouldn't be permitted to associate with each other after this."
"He won't agree, but even if he does, neither of you can stop us," Hana declared. "We're adults."
"You're right, of course. I can't stop you from seeing him, but I can ask you to leave this house if you decide not to respect my rules."
"You're kicking me out?"
"Not at all," Papa said. "I'm offering you a choice. You may stay here as long as you like, but the condition is that you aren't to see Ren any more."
"That's not a choice!" she exclaimed. "It's an ultimatum."
"Call it what you like," he said.
"Well, I'm not leaving, and I'm not going to stop seeing Ren. He's the father of my child, and—"
"What?" This time, Papa did yell. "You'd better start explaining!"
"What's to explain?" she said. "I'm having Ren's baby. I'm going to stay here until he's allowed to leave the country, and then we're both going to America."
"At whose expense? Surely you aren't expecting me to pay for it after this."
"We don't need you. Ren's father will help us. He believes in standing by his family."
Papa didn't ask her what she meant by that. He didn't say anything else. I heard Hana's bedroom door slam, and then I heard Papa stomping down the stairs.
Hana put on some music and turned it up really loud, but not before screaming through the wall, "You better not have been eavesdropping over there, Shirayuki! Or else!”
I didn't know whether I should laugh or be really nervous.
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Later that evening, after dinner, I was in the music room. I was supposed to be studying music theory, but I couldn't concentrate on it because I had way too much other stuff to think about. I wondered if it was true that Hana's having a baby. She lies a lot, so it's probably not true.
Even if it was true, I couldn't get excited about it because Hana would be a terrible mother and that poor baby would have a difficult life. I'd get excited if Yuri and Victor had a baby, though. Like, if they adopted one, because they're boys and they can't actually have any, but I think everyone knows what I mean, right? It'd be so much fun if I had a little niece to play with, and I think Victor would be the best papa ever. Yuri would be a good father too, but he might not like the yucky parts. Yuri doesn't like anything gross, so I think he'd have a really hard time dealing with changing the baby's diapers or cleaning her up if she spit out her food, or any of the other messy baby stuff.
Hana would probably hate the messy bits, too. The difference between her and Yuri is that Yuri would get through the hard parts somehow, even if it made him cry or throw up or something. Hana wouldn't. She ignores stuff she doesn't like and doesn't want to do, and she gets angry really easily. Even the idea of her having a baby is terrifying to me.
I guess it was upsetting for Papa, too. While I was trying my hardest to understand compound time signatures, I overheard him and Mama talking in their room.
In case I didn't explain before, my room and Hana's are upstairs and our parents' bedroom is downstairs. It connects directly to the music room. That might seem a little weird, but the music room wasn't always a music room. When Yuri was a baby, it used to be his room. Mama wanted to be close to him, because he was always so ill. When he got older, they changed it into a music room so Papa's piano didn't have to be in the sitting room any more, and Yuri got a bedroom upstairs.
I knew Mama and Papa were talking about Hana even without them mentioning her name. Papa said, "This is the worst possible situation, Rei. She's too young to have a child."
"I was her age when I had Yuri," Mama said. "And unless I'm mistaken, your mother was younger than that when she had you."
"That's different," he said. "We were already married when our Yuri was born. You were smart and sensible, and I was there to help you. She hasn't even been seeing this man for a year, and I doubt he's really the type who's willing to commit. Not to mention, he's an alleged criminal."
"If it makes any difference, I don't approve of him, either," Mama said. "I didn't like him when our Yuri was seeing him, and I like him even less now. But, I don't agree with your approach to this. Telling her to leave isn't the answer."
"I didn't tell her to leave. I told her she could stay, but the condition is that she has to stop seeing that man."
"That approach didn't work the last time you tried it, did it?" Mama chided him. "Yuri is married to the man you told him not to see."
"Don't remind me," Papa said.
Married? I have to tell you, that was huge news to me! Up to that point, I had no idea that Yuri and Victor were married. In fact, at the Festival of Snow, Victor had specifically told me that he and Yuri weren't getting married.
I had a thousand questions, not the least of which was to find out when this happened and why I wasn't part of it. But, with my brother and his husband in Canada, I realized I'd have to wait to find out all the details. His husband! It was all I could do to stop myself from squealing. Somehow, I restrained myself. I'd be a pretty bad spy if I gave myself away just because I got too excited about my brother getting married, wouldn't I?
"I wish you didn't have to go," Papa was saying. "We need to deal with this together."
"It was your idea for me to go, Kenji. Yours, and the board of directors," Mama said.
"I know, but you didn't have to agree."
"Did you want me to disagree?"
"No," he said, and then he sighed loudly. "Yes... in a way I suppose I did, but you're the best person to do this. There's nobody I trust more than you, and my father trusts you, so..."
"Far be it from us to disobey the great and powerful Akira Okamoto."
"Rei, that's not fair."
"Is it your company now, or is it still his?"
"You know it'll never be truly mine while he's still alive and thinking clearly. He's only seventy. He could be around for a long time yet. But, can we not make this about him, please? I'm not going to see you in person for six months. Can we make it about our family? About us?"
"Sometimes I wonder if that's even possible any more," she said.
"What do you mean?"
"When was the last time anything was about us?"
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He was quiet for a long time. I got off the sofa and went over to the door, and I tried to look through one of the glass panels without either of them spotting me. Papa was sitting on the bed, and he looked sad.
"Remember when we were happy?" he said.
Mama was putting something in her suitcase, but she stopped and came over to sit next to him. "It feels as if that was a long time ago."
"Back when it was just us and our little Yuri," he said. "When we had less to worry about and the future seemed limitless."
"I remember how you used to laugh," she said. "How you used to run around the garden with Yuri on your back, and he'd pretend he was flying an airplane."
"We used to go to all sorts of fascinating places," he said. "At least in our imaginations. You know, I still do sometimes, but Yuri would probably think it's silly these days."
"He might surprise you."
Papa shook his head. "He's so serious now."
"So are you."
"Not always. Not on the inside."
"If that's so, I wish I could see you on the inside," she said. "Maybe you'd look like the you I used to know. I'd like to see him again."
"I wish you could. Unfortunately, I think he's too afraid to come out, because no one approves of him."
"I know a few people who might. I would, and I'm sure Yuki and Yuri would, too."
"Yuri wouldn't. He already thinks I'm not worth his time. Imagine how he'd react if he thought I was actually trying to get his attention."
"Yuri loves you."
"He despises me," Papa said. He removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. "It's a good thing you're not taking Yuki with you. I'd be lost without her, and you know I wouldn't see Yuri for the entire six months if you did take her, because he'd never come here just for me."
"Would you go to see him?"
"I'm not welcome there. He's made that clear."
"Perhaps if you were a bit more accepting of Victor--"
"You know how I feel about that man. He's basically a freeloader. He lacks any sort of ambition, and he's led our son dangerously astray. Yuri could have been successful. He could've done so much better than toiling away at some meaningless job to support someone who can't be bothered doing anything to support himself."
"Victor has a job now, in case you didn't know," Mama said. "In any event, Yuri is happy with his life, and he's happy with Victor. You should see them together, Kenji. Victor is so gentle, and he takes such good care of him. It's obvious how much they love each other."
"I'm happy that he's happy. I just wish it was easier for him. I only ever wanted him to have the best of everything. I want that for all of them, but..." He stopped talking, leaned forward and covered his face with his hands. "I don't know what's happening, Rei. Everything's... wrong. This is the worst time for you to have to go. I don't want you to leave me. I just..."
It looked to me like he was crying, and I thought Mama would do something to comfort him, but she didn't. She just sat there, watching him. I felt so bad for him and I wanted to run in there and hug him, but I knew if I did that, they'd realize I'd been spying on them.
Mama said, "You know what's happening, and you know why."
"No, I don't," he said, and the tone of his voice made me almost a hundred percent certain he was in pain. I had to bite my lip a little bit to stop myself from crying, too.
"You asked me if I remember when we were happy," she said. "I remember a lot about that time. Back then, you told me that love was all we needed."
"Love isn't everything."
"Ambition isn't everything. You understood that once." She got up from the bed and went back to her suitcase. "You're right, of course. Love isn't everything either, but it's a good foundation. Why else do you think I'm still with you?"
I almost didn't hear what he said next, it was so quiet. He asked, "Do you still love me?"
"If I didn't, I would've been gone a long time ago," Mama said. "Perhaps a wiser woman wouldn't have stayed, but I suppose I've always been a hopeless romantic and a bit of an idealist."
"I'm sorry."
"Think about why you're saying that," she said. "When you understand why, and you're ready to do something about it, we'll talk."
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She closed her suitcase, and pulled it off the bed. Then, I had to hurry and get away from the door, because it looked like she was about to come out, and I didn't want to get caught standing there. I grabbed a random book and hurried back to the sofa, so I could pretend I'd been reading the whole time. I don't even know what the book was about. It was a big one, and it was in English, so it was probably something Papa had been reading.
Luckily, Mama didn't even pay any attention to me as she passed through the music room. I did some more fake reading until I couldn't hear the wheels of her suitcase rolling along the floor any more. Then, I put the book down and went back to the door of Mama and Papa's room. When I looked in, Papa was standing in the middle of the floor, and it seemed like he was staring at the wall.
I slid the door open as carefully as I could, and said quietly, "Papa?"
He didn't turn around, but he knew it was me, because he said, "Hello, Yuki-chan."
"Can I come in?"
"Of course," he said.
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I went over to him, and I hugged him around the waist and leaned against him. His sweater was soft, and he smelled like sandalwood. I know that's what it was because Yuri always smells like that too, and when I asked him about it once, he said it was sandalwood essential oil. I like it. It smells clean and sweet, and always makes me think of perfect autumn days when all the leaves have changed colours and it's cool enough that you need a sweater, but not a coat. I don't exactly know how to describe it, but I always think of it as a Papa and Yuri scent, and maybe it's weird, but it reminds me of familiar places and special people.
Even if Papa yells sometimes and scares me with his moods, I know he still loves me, and I know he's not hurting any of us on purpose. At the end of the day, I know he wants the best for us. He said so himself, and I believe him.
"I love you, Papa," I said. It was the only thing that I could think of that seemed right for the situation.
He lowered his hand to stroke my hair. "I love you too, my little princess," he said. "Are you all right?”
“I feel like I should be asking you that,” I said.
“I’m not having a very good day,” he said. “But, I didn’t mean for you not to have one. I’m sorry if Mama and I upset you with what we were talking about."
"How did you—” I began, but then it occurred to me that he'd likely caught sight of me through the glass panel in the door, so I just mumbled, "Sorry I was listening.”
"It's okay," he said. "I’m not angry. You were here when the police officers came, weren’t you? I should've known you'd want to know everything after that.”
"I wish I didn't know everything," I said, and I suddenly realized that I meant that with all my heart. As much as I like to know about all the things that are going on around me, seeing Papa so sad and confused was something I would rather not have been a witness to.
"Yuki..." His voice caught on whatever he was about to say next, and a second later, he was kneeling on the floor and pulling me into a close hug. His breathing was ragged, and he whispered into my hair, "I'm so sorry, my darling. I wish you didn't, either."
"Is Hana really having a baby?" I asked.
"I don't know," he said.
"Is she going to jail?"
"I don't know."
"Tell me something you know." I said it softly, in the same tone I've heard Yuri and Victor use on each other when one of them is upset.
"I know that I'm glad you're not going away," he said. "I feel like I'm losing everyone but you, and I... I can't..."
“You haven’t. Mama said she loves you.”
“She’s leaving.”
“Not because she wants to, and not forever.”
“I know, but it feels like it’ll be forever.”
“It feels like that for me too,” I said. “I don’t want her to go.”
“Neither do I, even though I know she has to,” Papa said. “It’ll be only the two of us for a while, so we’ll have to stick together and try to be very brave until she comes back. Do you think we can do it?”
"I'll never leave you," I promised. "I'll love you forever and ever, and if there's something wrong, I'll help you. You just have to tell me what to do, okay?"
"Loving me forever and ever is enough. You don't have to do anything more than that,” he said. “You shouldn't have to worry about me, and I’m sorry if I’m making you feel like you have to.”
"But, that's what you do when you love somebody,” I said. “You're worried about Mama and Yuri, aren't you? If Yuri knew how sad you are, I know he'd be worried about you.”
I could feel the movement of his head as he shook it slightly. "I don't think your brother is particularly interested in how I feel."
"He loves you," I said. "I think he's just scared because he thinks you don't love him. Maybe you'd feel less sad if you tried to be friends with him again, and maybe you’d both be less scared." I hugged him as tightly as I was able to, and added in a whisper. "He wouldn't think the airplane game is silly, either. He and Victor play it with me.”
The noise Papa made when I said that startled me, and it took me a couple of seconds to comprehend what was going on. He wasn't just crying; he was sobbing. It was as if something inside him had shattered into a million pieces and every bit of pain and fear and sadness inside him came flooding out all at once.
I was scared, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just held onto him as hard as I could. I’d never heard a grown-up cry that way, not even Victor who cries over everything. I couldn’t even imagine how bad a person would have to be hurting to make them cry like that, and I didn’t know who or what could’ve hurt him that deeply. It started when I mentioned Yuri, but it couldn’t have been my sweet brother… could it?
No, I told myself. Yuri loves Papa. He’d never do anything to hurt him on purpose. It has to be something else.
The problem was, I couldn’t understand what it might be. But, I was determined to find out. I told myself that if I had to sneak around and spy on everyone for the next… forever, I’d do it if it meant I could get to the bottom of this. If I could discover what the problem was, I could help Papa fix it.
He calmed down after a few minutes, but we still held onto each other for a while. Then, Papa told me that he really wanted to rest, and asked me if I’d mind letting him be by himself for a while. I said that if he needed me, I’d be in the music room finishing my lesson, even though there was no way I’d ever be able to focus on music theory any more that night.
Now, I know I absolutely need to find a way to help him, because I never want to see him broken and crying like that ever again.
I’ll get Yuri and Victor to help too, once they’re back from overseas. They might not want to at first, but I’m positive at least Yuri will be convinced once I’ve told him everything.
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stargazer-sims · 3 years
Text
Journal Entry #14
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Yuri
Hello, everyone! Greetings from Kiyomatsu!
I know it's been a while since either of us recorded anything in our journal, but it's been a very busy ten days. There's been a lot to do.
I'm not quite sure how we managed it, but we moved out of the old house exactly on the day we'd aimed for. It was before the end of the month, and Mrs. Ito seemed more than a bit surprised when I phoned her and asked her to come over and collect the keys.
We're officially moved into our new house now. We've been here for three days, and we're settling in nicely. It really is my dream home. Before this, it was only in my wildest imaginings that I could've seen myself in a house like this. Sometimes, I catch myself marvelling at the fact we're here.
Victor's mom is still with us, and from start to finish, she's been a true blessing throughout the entire dramatic story of our move. She'll be leaving at the end of the week, but she said she'd like to come back to stay with us again for a while in the winter.
When she first arrived, if anyone had asked me if I'd be okay with that, I would've told them a resounding no, but I've gotten closer to her over the course of her visit. We need to make a bit more progress before we'll be entirely comfortable with each other, but I think we understand one another better than we did when she arrived, and now I'm looking forward to having her come back so we can continue building our friendship.
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Oh, I nearly forgot! we promised you the rest of the house tour last time, didn't we? Let's do that first, and then I'll tell you our other news.
Here's one of my favourite features. Our mountain has several natural hot springs, but the one on Uncle Kaz's property may be one of the very few that has a private home built next to it. The other one here in Kiyomatsu, for example, is on the property of a public bath house. It's much bigger than this one, so it makes sense that someone several generations ago had the idea to build a community gathering place next to it.
We really like not having to share ours. Victor and I both love it, and we've been in it for a short time each day. Dr. Nelson isn't such a fan, though. She tried it once, and then declared that it was, "not appropriate to be sitting around half-naked outdoors in the middle of winter." It's still summer, but neither of us bothered to point that out to her. I guess it's easy to forget what season it is when one is surrounded by snow all the time.
In any case, we don't mind if she doesn't want to join us. If she isn't watching us, we're free to cuddle in there if we want to, and maybe a little something else. I really don't like letting Victor kiss me in front of his mother. She tends to look for longer than is polite, in my opinion.
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I could go on about the hot spring, but I'd better not. Let me get around to the areas of the house Victor hasn't already told you about. I wanted to get my work space set up before I shared that part of the house with all of you, and there was no bed in my room the last time, so it might've been premature to show it like that.
Here's my room. I'm in love with how big and bright it is. I'm very comfortable in it, and I may not want to sleep in Victor's room as much now that I've got a beautiful space like this. I'd rather see if I can convince him that he needs to be in here more often with me instead.
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Another thing that makes me happy about my room is that I don't have to work in it. Separating work life and home life is challenging if you don't know whether you're working in your bedroom or sleeping in your office.
This is my cute little dedicated work corner, so now I can leave work out of my bedroom, as it should be. It's got plenty of natural light, and it's upstairs, so it's out of the way of the higher-activity areas of the house.
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i think Victor may have mentioned our formal dining room last time, but I'm not sure if he showed you what it looks like. On our first official day as occupants of the house, we decided to celebrate by having dinner in there, and it was so lovely that I kind of want to eat in the dining room every day now.
Victor made a stew with black beans and tofu and big pieces of different vegetables, and he made some sort of chicken dish for himself and his mother. I baked a vanilla cream cake for dessert.
I put on some music, and we all sat down at our cozy kotatsu —our low, heated dining table — to enjoy the occasion and each other's company. Everything smelled so good. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd been that enticed by the scent of something edible, and I could hardly wait to try the stew.
The only real difficulty of the evening arose when I let Dr. Nelson fill my bowl for me. When I say filled, I mean there were barely two or three centimeters of the inner rim of the bowl visible.
I stared at it for a second or two. I’d never have put that much food in a bowl for myself, and I knew Victor never would, either. He'd never have expected me to be comfortable with that much in front of me.
Victor clearly noticed I was having this small dilemma. Across the table from me, I heard him say softly, "Yuri," and when I looked up at him, he silently formed the words, "You okay?"
Was I? Doing my best to tell myself that a too-full bowl was a silly reason to panic, I nodded. Victor smiled.
Unluckily for me, Dr. Nelson must not have caught this exchange, because the next thing I heard was, "Yuri, sweetie, at least take one bite before you start making that face."
"I'm not making a face," I said.
"It's fine, Mom," Victor said. "He always makes that face."
"It's not very complimentary to your cooking."
"Mom, you don’t—" Victor began, but then seemed to think better of whatever he’d been about to say. He sighed and tried again with, "You know what usually works better than criticism? Encouragement.”
“I wasn’t trying to be critical,” Dr. Nelson said. “It’s just that you put a lot of effort into this, and—“
“Mom. I said it’s fine.”
“I really want to eat it,” I said, embarrassed. “I didn't know I was making a face."
"It's okay," Victor said. "I know you really want to, and I know you can. You've been doing so good with your eating lately. I haven't had to coax you or nag you at all this last couple weeks."
"I don't remember you ever nagging me," I said.
"Well, whatever it is I do when I'm pleading with you not to let yourself slowly starve, then.”
“When you make your mealtime face, you mean?”
“Do I make a particular face?”
“Yes,” I said. “It’s that dramatic sad face. The same one you make when it rains and you can’t go on the trails.”
Abruptly, Victor snorted with laughter. “Yuri Okamoto, you’re making that up! I do not look all dramatic when I can’t snowboard.” Then, pausing with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, “I don’t, do I?”
At that point, Dr. Nelson was laughing too. “Oh, Victor… I’m afraid you do, sweetie. I should know. I’ve seen that one a lot more than Yuri has.”
And, just like that, the little moment of tension had passed, and the remainder of our official welcome home dinner was wonderful. The stew tasted every bit as delicious as it smelled, and I surprised myself with how much of it disappeared from my bowl.
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I have to say, I've been feeling really well lately. I'm not sure what the reason is, but I'm not about to question it. I'm just grateful for the reprieve, because everything in our lives has been so hectic during the past couple of weeks that I couldn't have done even a fraction of the things I needed to do if I'd been fatigued and in pain. I need to be careful not to overextend myself, since I still tire more easily than a normal, healthy person, but it's amazing how much more energetic I am when I'm not in near-constant discomfort.
Victor keeps teasing me about putting on weight. I'm never going to love food, like he does, but recently I've been waking up hungry and wanting to eat something. That hasn't happened for a long time. I think Victor's probably trying to create some momentum for my newfound appetite, because he's been cooking all the things he knows I like, and he's figured out that if he gives me very small portions, I'll succeed in eating everything on my plate. Like he keeps telling me, if it's not enough, I can always ask for seconds.
I can't even begin to tell you how much of a psychological boost it gives me when I actually finish a meal. It helps me feel confident and less anxious about the next one. And who knows? At this rate I may very well put on a kilogram or three. I'm sure my doctor would be pleased if I did.
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I wish things could stay like this. It would be amazing if I could get up every day for the rest of my life and enjoy breakfast with my soulmate, and have plenty of energy to do what I want to do. Sadly, though, it won't be this way indefinitely. I'm living with a chronic digestive system condition, an auto-immune disorder that can only be managed, not cured.
The medications I have to take to suppress my mutinous immune response and prevent my body from literally attacking itself unfortunately also make me susceptible to every contagious illness that goes around, so even when my insides are more or less behaving themselves, it's not always smooth sailing. The meds effectively weaken my body's ability to fight, so I never get just a little bit sick with a cold or the flu or a stomach bug. Even the most minor illnesses can end up being a big deal for me.
Last winter's cold, for example, evolved into a respiratory infection that put me in the hospital for eight days. That was... not fun. I seriously thought I was dying, and poor Victor was so exhausted from stress and lack of sleep by the time I was finally able to go home that I had to ask my mother if she'd come over and help us out a bit, just so he could rest. Even after I was technically better and no longer taking a cocktail of antibiotics, the reality was that I spent the rest of the winter recovering.
But, enough of that. It's all behind us for the time being. Right now, I'm feeling strong, and I'm determined to make the most of it while I can.
I have things i want to accomplish here at home, and of course Victor and I are planning our first international voyage together. We're hoping to travel during the Winterfest holiday. We’ll only be able to go for a week or ten days, but I think I'm okay with that. Plus, at that time of year, I know Victor won't want to be away from the mountain for too long. We're tentatively considering Selvadorada, although for my first trip outside my home country, I'm kind of leaning toward someplace a little less... unpredictable. Wherever our destination is, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be feeling as good as I do now and that I'll be prepared to embrace our adventure to the fullest.
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In other news, things are going amazingly well for me at work. Do you remember my company's newest client? The one I had to prepare a sales presentation for a few weeks ago? Well, it's the sports equipment company GnomeSports, and among other things, they make skis and snowboards.
My boss, Mr. Tanaka, said I'd get a bonus if we succeeded in getting them to hire us for their marketing and communications. I'll be honest; I was hoping the bonus would be money. It wasn't, but I was far from disappointed when i found out what it was. My bonus turned out to be a credit to purchase something from the company's range of products, and it was a significantly large enough amount that it covered the cost of two pro-class snowboards. One for Victor, and one for me.
I haven't told Victor yet. All he knows so far is that I needed the car today because I had to go into town to pick up something related to my work.
His new board is exactly the one that he's been drooling over for months on the company's website. It's even the colour that he said he wanted. I half thought about putting it away and surprising him with it for his birthday, but I don't think I'd be able to keep it a secret from him until winter. Besides, he'll need time to break it in if he's going to ride it in competition this season.
I can't wait to see the look on his face when he gets home from work and sees it.
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Yes, that's our other big news. Victor got a job. He's a personal health and wellness coach, and he's working right here in Kiyomatsu at the fitness center. Today was his first day.
He was so nervous this morning before he left. Ever since he was offered the position, he's been worrying about his language ability and his social etiquette and whether or not he'll fit in with his co-workers and get along with his new clients. I've told him over and over that his manners and his language skills are fine, and Victor is a people-person, so I have absolutely no doubt that everyone will like him.
Doesn't he look adorable in his uniform? He can be my personal wellness coach any time.
Sorry... that's our inside joke. Essentially, Victor is my personal wellness coach, and he's very good at it. The only difference now is that we get to take advantage of a lot of the fitness center's services for free, and so he'll be able to help me change my exercise program and start teaching me how to lift weights safely. I can also get therapeutic massages for a reduced fee, due to the fact that I'm Victor's 'spouse'.
We laughed about that yesterday when he came home from his work orientation and told me that he'd added me as a beneficiary to his new insurance benefits, and had put my name on the center's list of immediate family members of staff.
"I had to tick the box for 'spouse or partner'," he'd said. "It didn't have a box for 'soulmate'. I hope that's okay."
He was so earnest, I just wanted to hug him and ruffle his hair. "Of course it's okay," I'd told him. "We're partners, aren't we?"
"In every way," he'd agreed.
Another perk of the fitness center that we can access for free is the pool, and my personal wellness coach has promised to teach me how to swim. I'm a little scared, but also excited. It's something I've wanted to do for a while, but never had the opportunity and the stamina at the same time. Now, I've got both, and it seems like the perfect moment.
I'm going to end this entry here, because I have to pick Victor up from work soon. I'm sure he'll be bursting to tell you all about his new job next time, and his new snowboard as well. Don't be surprised if he's more excited about his board than his job. Knowing him, he'll want to try it out as soon as the rain stops.
When we take our new boards up to the trails for a test run, we'll try to remember to give you the full tour. See you soon on the mountain!
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stargazer-sims · 3 years
Text
Journal Entry #13 (part one)
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Victor
You guys! Guess where Yuri and I are right now?
It’s our new house! And it’s in Kiyomatsu.
For those of you who don't know, the part of town where Yuri and I currently live is called Wakabamori, and it kind of reminds me of Foundry Cove, the subdivision where I grew up in Willow Creek. It's not a bad neighbourhood. Like, there isn't a high crime rate or anything, and it's not a sketchy trailer park kind of area, but it's also far from being the most ritzy location in town.
Where we're going to live is considerably more upscale. Kiyomatsu is basically where they have all the fancy rentals for vacationers with money, and where a lot of rich people from here live year-round. Yuri's parents, for example, live in Kiyomatsu. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about living in a posh neighbourhood like that, but I think I can probably overcome my discomfort, thanks to the best feature Kiyomatsu offers. It's farther up the mountain than Wakabamori. In fact, it's partially above the snow line.
Let me say that again. Our new home is above the snow line.
I'm seriously freaking out about that, but in a good way. When Yuri showed me a picture yesterday, and I could see ski lifts in the background, I might've cried a little. Ski lifts. Visible from our new back yard.
Seriously, just look at it.
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I'm so stoked, I'm losing my mind here.
But, I guess I should try to calm down and tell you how Yuri and I ended up with a gorgeous new home in Kiyomatsu. I'm also losing it a little over that, because I mean... drama. Also, Yuri's mom may have gone up a few places on my official respect-o-meter. I might actually make an effort to like her more after this.
Yesterday, out of the blue, Yuri's mom phoned him and invited him to lunch. Now, for most people, this wouldn't be unusual. Like, me and my mom used to have lunch together all the time when we still lived in the same town, and now that she's here with us for a while, we always eat together. But, Yuri's mother isn't the sort of person who'd make your favourite bacon and tomato sandwiches for you and then spread out a big blanket on the living room floor for an indoor picnic. I doubt if Rei Okamoto has ever done anything fun or spontaneous like that in her entire life.
Not going to lie; I was very suspicious about Mrs. Okamoto's invitation, especially when Yuri told me that his mom specifically said I couldn't come along. Not that I wanted to sit through lunch with Rei Okamoto silently judging me and not-so-silently correcting my table manners, but usually when Yuri's parents command his presence, mine is also required. They hate me, but they're so bound by their traditional values that they can't seem to have a family gathering without the whole extended 'family', which unfortunately now includes me.
My mom got really offended on my behalf when I explained that to her. She thinks Yuri's parents are horrible people, even though she's never met them. Honestly, I hope she never does. Mom and Mrs. Okamoto in the same room would be bad. Like, super extra bad. I'm pretty sure Mom would cause a huge scene, and I would so not want to be around to witness that.
But, in fairness to Mrs. Okamoto, as much as I'd rather not be around her and her critical gaze, I also can't bring myself to think of her as truly terrible. Regardless of how she feels about me, I'm sure she really cares about Yuri, and in my view, that redeems her at least a little bit.
She may not be the greatest at demonstrating affection, and she may not be okay with all of Yuri's life choices, but she's still his mom at the end of the day. She knows how to take care of him, and the times he's really needed her, she's been there.
Like, when Yuri was in the hospital for over a week last winter, she came every day and stayed with him for a few hours so I could get some rest. While he was recovering back at home, she came by to bring us food. Well, she brought me food, and some weird-looking smoothies she'd made for Yuri. She even stayed with him for a whole day so I could still participate in a snowboarding competition I'd signed up for several weeks before he'd even gotten really sick. Of course, the way Mrs. Okamoto put it, she wanted me to get out of the house because I was disrupting the flow of calming energy. She said she wanted to make sure Yuri was looked after properly for a change.
Yuri told me later that he was certain she really didn't mean it, but I hadn't minded too much anyway. I had been feeling pretty restless, so she probably wasn't wrong, and by that point, I'd already figured out what she's like. It was all good in the end because I'd known that, with his mom, Yuri was in the best hands possible other than my own.
I don't think Mr. Okamoto knew that Mrs. Okamoto came to our house, because I'd overheard her telling Yuri not to mention anything to his father. As if Yuri would ever talk to his father voluntarily. Honestly, I think if it weren't for Yuri's dad, maybe his mom could show her real feelings for him a lot more, and I think he'd like that. After all, everyone should have a caring mom in their life, right? I don't know what I'd do without mine.
So, yesterday, when Mrs. Okamoto invited Yuri to lunch, the reason I was worried wasn't because I thought he wouldn't be okay with her. It was because I had no idea what her motivation was.
As it turned out, though, it’s likely that I was worried for nothing.
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When Yuri got back from his lunch date with his mother, I was home alone. Mom said she'd wanted to go exploring, and she'd taken my bike for a self-guided tour of our corner of town.
I was in the kitchen, in the process of making avocado onigiri — something Yuri almost never refuses to eat — when I heard the door open. I turned from the counter just in time to see him rushing in. He practically flung himself at me, and it was lucky that I can move fast and that I was ready to catch him, because he literally fell against my chest. He was out of breath, and I wondered if he'd been running, and how far.
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"Victor!" he exclaimed. "You'll never guess what happened!"
"I'm wondering if I should be scared to ask," I said.
"No, you definitely should ask. It's... I can't even believe it!"
"Catch your breath first, and then tell me."
"Okay," he said.
He rested his head on my shoulder, and I rubbed his back slowly until his breathing evened out. I said, "What were you doing?"
"Running," he confessed.
"I figured, but since when do you run anywhere if you don’t have to?"
"Since I was so excited that I couldn't wait to tell you what happened at lunch with Mama."
He pulled away from me a little, and I let go of him so we could step back and look at each other. He was grinning, and I don't think I've ever seen him looking so pleased in the entire time we've known each other.
"And?" I said.
"We have a place to live. And it's in Kiyomatsu."
I stared. "What?"
"Isn’t this great news?"
"Yes, but I mean... What...? How...?"
"My uncle," Yuri said. "You remember my uncle, Kazuya Fujimoto?"
"Uncle Kaz from America? Your mom's brother?"
I'd met Uncle Kaz once, when he was here in town visiting his family and friends last year during Harvestfest. Yuri's birthday happens to be on the first day of autumn, and Uncle Kaz decided that he wanted to invite his 'favourite nephew' to an outdoor concert and dinner afterward, to celebrate. For the record, Yuri is his only nephew. Also, I got invited as well, and it was a lot of fun.
Uncle Kaz seemed kind of eccentric, but I really liked him. He lives in America, in the Del Sol Valley, and he's been there for about twenty years. He works in the film industry as a director, and he's apparently kind of famous, although I had to admit I'd never heard of him before we met.
For some reason, Uncle Kaz thought it was funny that I'm from Canada, and he kept asking me random questions about the wilderness and hockey and maple syrup. That's what I remember about him most.
"There could only be one Uncle Kaz," Yuri said.
I laughed. "Very true. So, what about him?"
“It’s his house,” Yuri told me. “His vacation house, although he obviously doesn’t use it much.”
“Right, but how exactly are we living in Uncle Kaz’s vacation house? How would he even know we needed a new place to live?”
“This is the best part,” Yuri said, and the only word I could think of to describe his expression was gleeful. “Mama told him. It seems she overheard part of my conversation with Papa about Mrs. Ito asking us to move out.”
“Oh.”
“Evidently, Papa’s been complaining for days about the whole situation. He really wants me to come back and live with them for some reason, but I won’t do that. Mama says he somehow blames you for us getting evicted, even though he knows that’s not true. It’s got nothing to do with you, and—“
“Yuri, it’s okay,” I said. “Of course your dad blames me. He’s looking for more reasons to dislike me, when there really aren’t any. Don’t worry about it. Keep telling me the story.”
“Okay. It seems Mama got frustrated with him, and she was really worried about us, so she called Uncle Kaz to ask about letting us live in his house.”
“And I take it he said yes.”
“He did. Mama said we’re not supposed to tell anyone that she arranged it, though, especially not Papa.”
“No worries there. I’m fine with never talking to your dad again, if I can help it.”
“He’d be furious if he knew,” Yuri said.
“He’s going to figure out we’re living there.”
“Yes, but it’s all right for him to assume that I was the one who asked Uncle Kaz about it. He doesn’t need to know Mama had anything to do with it. He wouldn’t like it if he realized she did all this herself without even consulting him, so we can’t say anything, all right?”
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“Sure,” I agreed. “So, is there a catch to this arrangement?”
Yuri frowned, looking confused. “A catch?”
“Yeah. Like, do we just get to live there worry-free, like normal people with normal lives, or are there some sort of unreasonable conditions attached?”
“We have to pay rent,” he said. “And Uncle Kaz will stay there with us whenever he visits, but I think that’s fair, don’t you?”
“That’s it?”
“Were you expecting something else?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I guess it’s just kind of hard for me to trust your family. Some people don’t believe in letting others have something for nothing.”
“We’re not getting it for nothing. Uncle Kaz is expecting us to pay him the same amount of rent we’ve been paying Mrs. Ito for this place, and of course we have to take care of it for him.”
“But, no ulterior motives. That’s what I meant.”
“None that I can see.”
I was mostly relieved, but still slightly wary. "Do you know when we can move in?"
"Whenever we're ready," Yuri said. "As soon as we're finished packing up all our stuff here. Mama said we can meet the caretaker tomorrow to pick up the keys and have a look around, if we want. She gave me his number, but she said she already arranged for him to meet us there at two o'clock."
"Tomorrow at two. Got it."
“I’m probably not going to be able to sleep tonight,” Yuri said.
“That excited, huh?”
“Yes! Aren’t you?”
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I lifted him up and spun him around, and he laughed. It was the most carefree sound I’d ever heard, and it made me so happy that I felt like crying. Yuri never laughs like that, not in the unrestrained way he did in that moment. It was the voice of someone who’d suddenly been unburdened of a crushing amount of stress and fear.
“Seeing how excited you are makes me excited,” I told him. “I’m sure I’ll be interested in the house itself, once I’m totally over how we ended up with it.”
“Oh, I don’t think it’ll take you that long,” he said. “Put me down, and let me show you the photos.”
Yuri was right, of course. The pictures had been the lure for me. He’d passed me his phone, and the two of us curled up on the sofa to look at the images his mother had texted him. While I tried to absorb every detail, Yuri snuggled next to me and began to tell me a story about two boys who found their happy place in a magical mountainside forest where there’s snow all year.
By the time he was done with his specially-made fairytale and I’d scrolled through all the pictures at least a dozen times, I’d resolved to try not to worry about Yuri’s family and their possible motives. Yuri wasn’t worried, after all, and he knows his family a lot better than I do.
I told myself this was going to be good for us. We were going to enjoy our new house and fill it with everything, both tangible and intangible, that would make it ours. We would create a home, and it’d be amazing, and nothing anyone else said or did would change that for us.
I coaxed myself into letting go of my remaining anxiety, saying to myself that it was okay to believe everything would be fine. It was a lot easier to think anticipating, hopeful thoughts about the future after that.
We told Mom our news as soon as she got back from her bike ride, and she seemed pretty thrilled about it too. After dinner, Mom got us organized, and we started packing in earnest. Yuri and I decided that we were determined to be in our new house and return Mrs. Ito’s keys for this place to her in a week. If Mom thought that was an unrealistic timeline, she didn’t say anything about it. She threw herself into the task with almost as much enthusiasm as us.
By the time bedtime came around, I found that I couldn’t go to sleep. Yuri, who’d already predicted that he’d be too keyed up, was lying beside me with an open book, but he hadn’t turned a page in several minutes. I guessed he was daydreaming.
Under the covers, I tapped his ankle with my toes. “Hey, cute boy,” I said. “Want to get up and pack some more stuff?”
He rolled over and grabbed me, burying his face in my t-shirt to muffle his laughter, obviously aware that my mom was probably already asleep in the next room.
“That’s the best offer I’ve had all night,” he said.
We filled boxes until, finally, we were too tired to focus, and then we fell asleep in each other’s arms, on the living room floor.
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And that’s the tale of how, today at two o'clock in the afternoon, I found myself standing on a small, snowy plateau halfway up the side of my beloved mountain, Yukimatsu, gazing around at one of the most elegant properties I've ever seen. The house isn't super huge and fancy, which is a fact that I'm glad about. It's certainly bigger than our current house, and a lot nicer looking, but it has gorgeous, clean lines and a kind of classic, unpretentious sense about it.
Yuri went inside ahead of me. I wanted to admire the scenery for a few minutes, and marvel at the strange, incredible turn of events that'd brought us here. And I thought about how it’d been Yuri’s mom who made it all happen, and how we had to keep her wonderful gesture of kindness a secret.
I considered Yuri’s parents, and the uncomfortable dynamics that must exist in their household, wondering how Mrs. Okamoto could be in a relationship with someone she couldn’t communicate with. Maybe that’s another reason why they don’t like me. Maybe it’s envy that their son has something they don’t. Yuri and I talk to each other about everything. That’s our strength. We’d never have been able to learn to trust each other as much as we do without that.
I’m not sure how long I was out there, just staring up the mountain and feeling grateful. It must’ve been long enough for Yuri to see the whole interior, though, because he popped through the front door again, calling to me, “I know which room is going to be mine!”
I smiled, absolutely loving how joyful and energetic and well he looked. Maybe this place would be good for us in more ways than I’d expected.
“I guess that leaves the other one for me.”
"Victor, come inside and look!" he said, breathless with pleasure. "You can see your room and everything else, and you won’t be disappointed, I promise. Everything's so beautiful. You're going to love it."
"I can already tell you love it," I teased. "Usually, you're the one telling me to calm down."
"I can't help it," he said. "This is essentially my dream home. It’s so quiet and peaceful here, and we’re far enough from our neighbours that it feels private, but not so far that we’re isolated.”
“Plus, we’re close to the trails,” I said.
“Yes, that too.” He smiled. “This is exactly the sort of thing I always imagined when I thought about moving out of my parents house and living on my own, but it always felt so out of reach. Maybe, if I'd agreed to work for my father's company, I could've done it some day, but..."
"No," I said. "You never would've been happy doing that. If you'd worked for him so you could have your dream home some day, would you have really loved it?"
"No," he said. "I think I might resent it."
"The good news is, you don't even have to think about that now."
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"You're right. I don't." He took my face between his hands and kissed me playfully on the tip of my nose. "Because here I am, by some amazing stroke of luck, in a home I already adore, with the person I love most in the world. This is going to be so perfect. I can hardly wait for us to move in."
“Soon. You’ve got to try to be a little patient, at least.”
“I know, but I wish it was moving-in day right now, right this minute.”
"I have an idea," I said.
"What is it?"
"We have the keys now, and your uncle said we could move in any time, right?"
"Yes."
"How would you feel about spending the night here tonight, just to see what it’s like? We could go to the old place and grab a few things, and then come straight back here. What do you think?"
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That time, when he kissed me, it was on the mouth. It was an uncommon enough occurrence to have caught me a little by surprise, but I definitely wasn’t complaining. He smelled like peppermint.
“I love you," he said, lips still brushing gently against my skin. "And that idea is brilliant. Let's do it."
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