#im also paranoid and anxious about doing something wrong so im measuring all the time

[racing-twinks]

So I went to the doctor last week and got told I have diabetes, then spent a week in hospital to try get my blood sugar levels back to normal, only to get out of hospital and have my bloodsugar immediately go crazy again... like what do you mean I'm doing the maths just like they told me, taking the insulin in the doses I talked about with my doctor, only to end up super low or super high after eating??? It was all working fine before they let me out but as soon as I do more than laying in bed all day it isn't fine anymore??? Also having to prick my finger all the time to measure and also being super anxious when not measuring cause what if the levels go wheee again in those 3 hours im not measuring??? I know it will all be fine and that I will learn to live with it but I just can't wait until I get my sensor and being able to check my levels all the time to see when and why they go crazy so I can fix my insulin doses accordingly... thankfully my sensor is already approved and I got the message it will arrive on Friday before Easter because this situation of being fine before eating and then being too low or too high a few hours later without warning is making me so nervous and scared. Going to the doctor because I lost a bunch of kilos and was always thirsty just to get told I have developed an autoimmune disease and was close to fainting into a coma is wild. I wasn't expecting that at all and it feels like my life got turned upside down and while I am glad that it is "just" diabetes (cause I am aware it could have been something much worse) and I am accepting it and working on that, the fact it doesn't go like I'm calculating the second I left the hospital makes me so nervous about it all, feeling like I'm doing everything wrong the second im on my own

#personal rant #sorry just had to get this off of me #no one else in my family has diabetes type 1 so im just kinda lost right now #im also paranoid and anxious about doing something wrong so im measuring all the time #the sensor will have alarms for the dangerous zones so hopefully I'll be able to chill #when i know that ill be warned before entering a too low level #cause last time i only noticed cause i started shivering and coudnt keep my hands still anymore #even tho i calculated my insulin just like they told me in hospital #and that method of calculating was giving great results there but as soon as im home its not anymore #at least i dont feel like crying anymore #im just a nervous wreck all the time