#im seeing warthrop in his like 40s opening the door and seeing this kid that looks remarkably like him all sopping wet and mad as hell

[attractthecrows]

amusing myself by imagining how much pellinore warthrop would HATE any potential bastard of his

#like on the one hand the man is basically celibate but on the other hand his magic 30 was apparently a week long riot of a bender #maybe he hooked up with someone! maybe she didn't live in Boston either and he was wasted enough that she didn't get a name! #she knew 'warthrop' but ONLY because his equally wasted friends called him that before hauling him back out into the party #she went back home and when her pregnancy became obvious she said FUCK IT and did the single mom thing. never reached out though #im seeing warthrop in his like 40s opening the door and seeing this kid that looks remarkably like him all sopping wet and mad as hell #throws a letter at his face like 'are you Warthrop? Mom wrote this before she died. read it' #the letters like 'hii this is your kid. we hooked up sloppy style in boston. i wasnt going to involve you at all but im dying so... here!' #and warthrop's like 'YOU ARE LYING YOU DAMN FIEND' #kid's like 'OH SURE I MADE UP MY MOM DYING HITCHED A RIDE ON THE RAILROAD AND STOMPED MY WAY HERE ON A LARK. YOU ASS' #wacky hijinks ensue #its extra funny bc of pellinore's stuffy as fuck rich person upbringing and this kid was like. attached to mom's hip working at an inn