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#im sorry i rewatch these movies so often it’s almost embarrassing 🙈
kalloway
·
2 years
Text
The goofiest movie in the Resident Evil series by a landslide is Resident Evil: Apocalypse
in this essay I will-
#delete later
#it is so over the top ridiculous and cliche af to a point i love watching it to make myself feel better cuz it always makes me laugh
#with hits such as:
#A canon character asking the ‘OC’ in the movie-verse ‘who the fuck are YOU?’ after she saves their asses via motorcycle entrance
#*WHIP SOUND EFFECTS*
#for literally every single hit and swing Alice does
#and a finale involving what is essentially a battle royale 1v1 where everyone just stands and watches them fight
#the best oart is this movie is absolutely not trying to be funny at all but it takes its own seriousness to another level
#another dumb fun part I laugh at is this one aerial view of Raccoon City where... you see a CIBC building LMAO
#(a Canadian bank in an American city? goofy af)
#like usually they try to mask the fact they film american cities in toronto a lot but they barely tried in this movie
#im sorry i rewatch these movies so often it’s almost embarrassing 🙈
#there’s *parts* that I really like? like... cinematography-wise? or theme wise?
#but it absolutely REEKS of ‘OC-insert’ and i don’ even know much about the games
#idk if Alice qualifies as a Mary Sue *technically* because she *does* have flaws but BOY OH BOY
#i shouldn’t keep blabbing about this cuz I will be here and bore y’all for ages about it afagdhhfhs
#THERE’S SO MUCH TO NITPICK AND POKE FUN AT
#the only people i know who unironically *love* these movies is... my parents - my mom especially
#but she knows literally nothing about the games so when i told her about them she was shook to find out... Alice isn’t a canon character?
#so im p convinced 99% of people do not like these movies and thus it’s fair game to rip on them as much as I do 8)
#one last thing before i post this and probably delete later:
#tfw u hand a character a gun and they say ‘idk how to use this’ and the advice u givethem is just... ‘hit them in the head’
#like Jill no u didn’t even check the safety in that thing before handing it to her
#I REALLY WISH THEY’D JUST MAKE A MOVIE ADAPTATION OF OUTBREAK INSTEAD LIKE
#IT’S PERFECT FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS
#GAH okay okay im done now
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