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itty-bitty-mess · 9 months

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TW: BITTYBONES AB//USE, BITTY WHUMP, BITTY T*RT//URE

Pip was a little pygmy lamia and, like almost every individual of his breed, he was quite the ungrateful brat. He had been adopted from the bitty adoption center and then returned by his previous owner who had spoiled him rotten, making him believe he was the most important thing in the world and that everything had to revolve around him. His brattiness had gotten so bad, that his previous owner returned him without a second thought despite the little pygmy’s empty “apologies”, a futile attempt to not lose the luxurious and comfortable lifestyle he had been so accustomed to.

One day, a young woman entered the establishment in looks for a small companion who could add some sort of excitement into her life. Pip’s eyes landed on that woman and he immediately got to work to be as “cute” and “charming” as possible, playing up the “widdle baby” act as much as he could. Trying to charm his way into a new home and back into his beloved comfortable lifestyle. The woman wasn’t entirely convinced on Pip at first, but after a “cute” tantrum full of crying blue tears and puppy dog eyes, she ended up adopting him with a simple shrug.

Pip was over the moon once he arrived to his new home, slithering everywhere, exploring every corner of the small apartment, calling dibs on the places he would soon mark as his property. The woman or, as he began calling her, “Mommy” didnt really seem that bothered by Pip’s behavior. When night arrived, she prepared him a small makeshift bed with an empty shoebox and some tissue paper and socks. Pip straight up refused to sleep in the box, demanding Mommy to let him sleep on her bed instead.

“Eh, im not doing that but if you don’t want the bed then suit yourself” Mommy said with a shrug as she picked up the makeshift bed and put it on the closet. “But I gotta tell you the floor gets really cold at night and I tend to lock my door.” Pip was a little taken aback by her reaction. He had expected her to beg him to sleep on the box, or to comply and let him sleep on her bed. He tried throwing another tantrum, this time trying to be clear about what he wanted.

“WAAAAHH!! BUT MOMMY I DONT WANT A STINKY BOX, I WANNA SLEEP WITH YOU!!!! IM SCARED OF THE DARK!!!!” Pip cried, his fake little tears and screams falling on uncaring, deaf ears.

The woman just shrugged and responded with a “sucks to be you, buddy” and went to her room. Pip followed her and tried slithering as fast as he could to slip into the bedroom before she locked the door but all he managed to do was hit his face straight into the hard metal door. She had entered and immediately locked the door shut, and Pip was way too big to slip through the gap between the door and the floor.

But he wasn’t gonna give up so easily! He started banging on the door nonstop, his tiny gloved hands barely managing to make any noise against the metal door. He tried screaming, directly demanding Mommy to let him in immediately. But what Pip didn’t know was that she was wearing sound proof headphones, allowing her to have a good night’s sleep. He ended up sleeping on the cold, hard floor, trembling and shaking with tears of rage in his eyes. This wasn’t over yet, he was gonna make Mommy’s life a living nightmare and she would have no option but to treat him like the king he was.

From that day onwards, Pip tried almost every trick on the book to make Mommy do what he wanted. He started pissing and pooping on her clothes to “teach her a lesson”, but she simply shrugged and said “Cool, I was gonna throw those old rags away anyways”. Whenever she fed him “cheap and disgusting” Bitty Kibble, he would throw the little food bowl back at her but his aim was so pathetic that he barely managed to flip the bowl. He tried stealing her food which only caused him severe food poisoning because the idiot stole and ate a moldy piece of bread that was many years past its expiration date.

He demanded Mommy to buy him a control remote car and other expensive toys but she just threw a crumpled paper ball on his direction as said “There, play with that instead lol”. He threw constant tantrums but she completely ignored him or just didn’t seem to care enough. Even when he had planned on scratching or biting her, his pathetic and useless little fangs and his weak little “claws” did absolutely no damage

He even tried stealing Mommy’s phone and trying to break up with her boyfriend through text. However, the boyfriend could tell that wasn’t how his girlfriend texted, he could tell that it was Pip by the terrible grammar and childish word usage so he sent Pip graphic images of bitty gore which deeply traumatised him. He told Mommy about this, hoping that maybe she would craddle him on her arms to comfort him but all she did was laugh at him. Pip felt humiliated, he couldnt believe she didn’t even comfort him or tried to pamper him after such a horrible thing!

Tears welled up in his little eyes and he went to the corner to fake cry again, looking behind his back every few minutes hoping to see Mommy looking back at him with a guilty expression, but all he saw was she had left for work again. This wasn’t fair! How could Mommy not care about him! He was Pip, the great and magnificet pygmy! The most specialest lamia of all, who deserved all the love and attention in the world!

Pip suddenly got an idea, he was gonna go to Mommy’s workplace and demand her, in front of everyone, to give him what he wanted, like fancy human food, expensive toys, a shiny new bandana and to let him sleep on her bed! Mommy could sleep on the floor if she wanted! Perhaps he could even make up some lies about him being “abused” and “neglected” to ruin her reputation with her colleagues. Yes! That was a great idea! Mommy would surely listen to him if he isolated her from everyone! Pip was sooooo smart!

Pip spent the entire night planning how he would take his plan into action. The next day, when Mommy left for work once again, he swiftly slipped through the closing gap of the door, trying to no be seen by her. Then, he silently slipped into her car and hid there, standing as still and silent as possible while she drove. Then she finally arrived to her workplace and entered the huge, shiny office building. Oh, this was Pip’s chance! This was gonna be so good!

He got off the car and slithered around, following silently behind Mommy, he was waiting for the perfect oportunity to strike and humiliate her. However, as they entered the building, Pip was immediately greeted with a massive crowd of people walking in all directions like busy bees in a hive. It was overwhelming and loud for the little lamia and, in a moment of disorientation, he lost sight of Mommy!

He panicked and looked in all directions, slithering through the squeaky clean, polished floor and trying his best to dodge the passerby. He tried screaming and calling out to Mommy, surely she would hear him and go to his rescue! Mommy would never abandon such an important lamia like Pip! Surely Mommy would show up and sweep the little lamia in her arms and take him to a warm and cozy bed full of toys and yummy food like he deserved!

However, his squeaky little yells were drowned out by the constant noise of the office building. People calling out each other’s names, machines working and beeping nonstop, loud clicking of keyboards, etc. All louder than Pip’s weak little voice. Pip tried moving through the crowd, and soon he spotted a stranger who had stopped walking to watch their phone. He got an idea and tried making a “cute” teary eyed expression as he approached the stranger, knowing that his cuteness would be enough to capture the stranger’s attention and get them to help him.

“UM.. EXCUSE ME, IM WOST AND TOO WIDDLE TO MOVE THROUGH THIS CWOWD. CAN YOU HELP ME FIND MY MOMMY PWEASE?” Pip said, pouting and about to start fake crying again. But the stranger didnt seem to hear him. Instead, they started to walk back to their office.

“WH- UM, EXCUSE ME?? HELLO??? DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME???? IM A WIDDLE LAMIA AND I NEED HELP!!! ARE YOU DEAF?? HEWWO!!!” Pip yelled, the baby act completely dropped as he was ignored. He was extremely angry so he raised his voice, damaging his throat a little but continuing regardless. “I AM PIP, THE GREATEST AND MOST IMPORTANT PYGMY IN THE WORLD!! HOW CAN YOU NOT HEAR-“

And then another person immediately walked by and “unintentionally” kicked Pip on the rib, breaking it and sending him flying all the way across the lobby, making him hit his head against the marble floor. Pip laid there against the wall, in too much pain and complete shock, trying to process what had happened. Never in his life had Pip gotten harmed before, his previous owner was always so careful and caring, making sure he was always safe and protected. He had never known pain until that moment.

Little blue tears fell from Pip’s eyes, the difference this time was that they were genuine and not fake. He wanted to go back to his first home, where his owner gave him a whole human king-sized bed just for him. Where Pip could cheerfully slither across the long table full of all kinds of delicious food and pick what he wanted whenever he wanted. Where Pip had an entire miniature theme park just for him to play in. He regretted being so ungrateful, he regretted pissing and pooping everywhere to get his previous owner’s attention, he regretted rippin apart his previous owner’s nice chairs and couches whenever he threw a tantrum, he regretted interrupting others and yelling and manipulating his previous owner to get his way, he regretted insulting his previous owner multiple times and calling them horrible things.

Pip started crying, sobbing even. He regretted everything he did and how much of an unbearable brat he had been. He wanted his comfortable life back. He wanted to feel pampered and like the center of everything again. He tried screaming, calling out to Mommy again, he desperately needed her to hold him or at least pat his back or something. But nothing happened. So despite the pain of his now cracked skull and broken rib, Pip pushed himself up and tried slithering around again. Calling out to Mommy and crying non stop, not caring about the ammount of snot that now dripped from his nose cavity.

As he slithered around, Pip didn’t watch where he was going and another person walked by and harmed him. This time, they stepped on his tail, causing the internal tail bone to shatter and the ecto-flesh to rip open, beginning to bleed. Pip let out a loud, ear piercing scream, hugging his tail in pain as he curled up into a fetal position. Then another person walked by and kicked Pip once again, the force of the kick itself caused another couple of ribs to break. Pip could not stop screaming, the pain was too unbearable for him.

Even with his damaged tail, Pip tried dragging his body across the floor, trying to escape the crowd. But another pair of seemingly giant feet crushed his little arms. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!”. He screeched, but the person responsible for it kept walking as if nothing had happened. He tried using his body and his tail to push himself forward but another couple of people walked by, kicking him around between them as if he was a pingpong ball. Every time he tried getting out of the crowd, people would suddenly walk by and either step on him or kick him back to the center of it all. Tears fell from his eyes as he recieved another kick, then another, and so on.

He cried, he screamed, he yelled as loud as he could. Maybe if he was loud enough, people would realize he was there and maybe even help him. But no, nobody cared and they continued on with their day. Now, compared to the treatment he was used to, Pip felt insignificant. He was no longer “The Great and Amazing Pip, The Specialest Pygmy Of The Entire World!”, he was just a worthless little thing, lost in an office building, getting kicked around as if he was nothing but trash.

Finally, Pip caught a glimpse of Mommy in the distance, she was talking with another woman as she held a cup of coffee and a clipboard. Tears of joy formed on Pip’s eyes. Maybe this nightmare would finally be over! Maybe if he screamed loud enough, Mommy would recognize his voice and immediately go to his rescue!

With anticipation and hope in his eyes, Pip took a huge chunk of air and prepared to let out the yell of his life. But life had other plans as a woman walked in. She was wearing tall heels, clicking and clacking against the floor. Without a care in the world, she walked by and interrupted Pip mid-yell as she stepped on his spine. Pip felt the sharpest and strongest pain of his life coursing through his entire body. He wanted to screech in pain but he couldn’t, he couldn’t talk, he couldn’t scream, he couldn’t move the lower half of his body…

Tears fell from his eyes, panic surged through his body as he saw Mommy about to ride the elevator. He used his broken arms and tried dragging himself in her direction with all the strength he had left despite the immense, agonizing pain he felt.

“MoMmy- Mo- ahk! moMmy! hElp mE! It hUrtS.. HURTS! HELP! MO-“ but Pip couldn’t even finish his sentence as a floor scrubber passed by. Polishing and sweeping the floor and picking up Pip along the way. The little pygmy was trapped alongside the dust and trash. Pip could feel everything despite being unable to move. He felt his tiny little body being ripped apart and crushed piece by piece. His arms were first, then his tail, then finally his torso and head detached and nothing but dusty, bloody remains mixed with garbage and dirt were left.

When Mommy returned home that afternoon, she didn’t seem surprised that Pip was nowhere to be found. Instead of panicking or worrying, Mommy just shrugged and started to put away the groceries. Maybe Pip had slipped out and died as he fell from the window, or a stray cat got inside and ripped him apart. Whatever had happened to Pip, Mommy didn’t really care, she had better things to do and she had already been considering returning Pip back to the adoption center anyways.

And so, with another bitty gone, life on the big city continued, for nobody would care about an insignificant and worthless little bitty.

The End.

#bitty abuse #bitty bullying #bitty torture #bitty whump #bittybones #baby blue #blueberry #pygmy lamia #lamiatale #blueberry sans #pygmy #OOF THIS ONES LONG

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din-djarins-riduur · 3 years

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Could you please write a cute HC for each of the Bad Batch where their partner has a pet and is giving it a LOT more attention then them, so how would each batch member react? Btw i really love your writing💚

Hi lovely ! Here’s a little gift from me to you 🎁 thank you so much for submitting an ask <3 im sorry it took a bit. School and work :( also didn’t want to rush it. i hope you like it <33

Warnings : None really but it does get a little steamy at the end of each one🔥

The Bad Batch Headcannon : Pets 🐾

Wrecker :

At first Wrecker was just as excited as you were when you adopted your porg, but that excitement soon died off when he began to notice you always had the little thing with you.

At meal time it was always the porg who got fed first. You would feed it little kibble bits and talk to the animal in an adorning tone.

You would take the porg everywhere with you - even on missions. The little guy would always be perched on your shoulder, squawking and looking at Wrecker with its big and dumb cute eyes.

One day while you were about to leave to go on a supply run with Tech, you asked Wrecker to watch your porg.

At first Wrecker was grumpy about it, but after spending an hour with it alone, the big clone fell hard.

While you were gone he even took the liberty of teaching the porg to hop through a little makeshift course on the Marauder.

He was having a blast. The porg wasn’t so bad after all. And when you returned back from the errand run, you found the porg fast asleep on a snoring Wrecker’s chest.

You smiled at the sight. When you woke him up, you greeted him with a soft kiss to the lips. “You’d make a good daddy.” she said.

Wrecker chuckled darkly and ran his fingers through your hair as he pulled you in for a kiss. “I can make that happen,” he whispered.

Crosshair :

He doesn’t understand it. Why would you want that as a pet ?

“It’s hideous.” he had said when you brought it back to the ship.

You didn’t care. Instead, you smirked and held up your new Kiwanians monkey-lizard. “I don’t know. He kind of reminds me of you. Same scowl and everything.”

Although he knew how much your new pet made you smile, Crosshair felt nothing but creeped out. At times he would be cleaning his rifle and feel like he was being watched.

And when he’d look up he’d see it staring straight at him with it’s ugly face and small eyes. It would tilt its head at him and open its mouth slightly.

One day when you were humming and carrying the sleeping pet in your arms, Crosshair couldn’t help but ask : “How come you don’t ever hum me to sleep?”

“You wouldn’t find it annoying?” you asked.

Crosshair shook his head and tilted your chin up to look away from your pet. “Your voice could never annoy me. However, I take it back on the humming. I’d rather fall asleep to you moaning.”

They were meant to be purely for research, but after a big pouty lip and adorable eyes, Tech gave in and let you keep the two dokma.

He sighed every time he saw you gushing over how cute they were as they crawled about over the control panels of the ship.

One time he had even found one of the dokma inside of his helmet. He shouted as the tiny creature jumped out and onto the floor.

The things irritated him, but what irritated him more was the fact that you literally brought them everywhere with you. There were even times where you took them into the shower with you and let them play in the water.

One night when you were leaving the refresher, Tech stopped you from coming out.

“Tech? What’re you doing?” you laughed. His goggles were fogging up a bit.

Your smile faded though when he took them off and gave you a serious and lustful look.

“The dokma had their fun. Now it’s my turn,” he said, taking her jaw and enveloping your tongue with his. He closed the door behind you two.

Hunter :

Hunter groaned as he felt the bushy tail hit his face. He sighed and turned onto his side to get away from the tooka.

Ever since you had rescued the little guy, you had never let it leave your sight. In fact, the sight of you holding the tooka was more common than it was with you holding Hunter.

“Oh come on, Tooki,” Hunter groaned as the tooka began to lick his face.

He sat up then and glared at the pet who was now leaning back and hissing.

Hunter hissed back at it, too exhausted to care about the immature act and threw himself back into his pillow. He groaned into it and sighed heavily.

“Hunter?” you asked in the darkness.

“Hm,” he mumbled, not looking up at you.

“Did tooki wake you?”

Hunter looked up at you, his eyes squinting from exhaustion and moodiness. “Yes. It was licking my face.”

You chuckle at the thought of it. “Sorry it was him that woke you and not me.”

“Sorry?” Hunter asked, not sure he had heard you correctly.

“You know if you’d like. Maybe I can put you to sleep,” you say running your hand through his hair and tugging at the back of it.

Hunter exhaled and began to kiss your neck. “I’d like that.”

Echo :

Ahh the mouse droid. The last thing Echo ever thought you’d pick as your pet. You had spent almost the entire afternoon looking for a companion in the marketplace of Naboo.

There were times where you stayed behind with Omega during the dangerous missions and the both of you were starting to get bored. You two girls could only clean the ship so many times.

Even Wrecker’s holo-games and gaming console were becoming a drag.

When you two had brought hit home, you and Omega immediately began to try and come up with a name for it.

You both had decided to call it Beeper.

That droid was everywhere and it was hard to see at night with it being painted black.

One night Echo had gotten up to make a sandwich. He was starving when he woke up. As he was finishing up his meal, he heard the little beeps of Beeper. The droid was staring up at him.

“You can’t possibly want this,” Echo said, shaking his head.

The mouse droid beeped then and sped away elsewhere on the ship.

Echo sighed, knowing the droid was going back to you. When he returned to your shared bunk, he found you sitting up.

“Beeper?” you mumbled, having heard the droid whistle loudly.

“Just me,” Echo said.

You frown. “What do you mean just you?” you asked.

“Well I know I’m not your new best friend,” Echo replied, getting ready to brush his teeth in the small sink beside the bed.

You sigh and get up, wrapping your arms around him from behind and kissing his bare back. “No need to be jealous. It’s only a droid. You’re my man, flesh and blood.”

With that, Echo stopped brushing and looked at you. Tears brimming his eyes as he saw your eyes closed against him.

He finished brushing his teeth then and guided you to the bed. “And you’re my woman,” he breathed, pulling your shirt up, mesmerized by what he saw. “Warm and soft.”

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sunshinechii-scenarios · 6 years

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Lighting

✿ Nct’s Jaemin x Female!Reader ✿ HP!AU ✿ Fluff & kinda make out scene? ✿ 3.7k words ✿ Not requested ✿ Written by Chii ✿ Masterlist!

HEYEYEHEYHEYEYEYE IM BACK ON THAT GOOD OL’ HOGWARTS TRAIN and I really wanted to write another hp au. this is the longest fic I’ve written and idk what that says about me oof. BUT enjoy this! I really don’t know what Jaemin would be so I just made him a SLytherin bc of that ONE EDIT.

I made the following divider so please don’t take it or use in your own posts, thank you .- Chii

Your eyes opened on time to catch the last few milliseconds of the bright light that filled the sky as the loud clap of thunder woke you up. You felt your own body tremble under the blankets as you hid under them, a habit from when you were a kid. Since the age of five, you were scared of thunder and lightning, the rain crashing hardly onto the glass and the sky roaring. Things like ghosts and monsters under the bed didn’t scare you as much as when it rained badly.

“Tina?” You called out to your best friend. She shared the same boat with you on the first day of school back during your first year. You two were sorted into the same house and not to mention, you also were assigned to share rooms and eventually you became best of friends for six years but that isn’t really important right now as you feared at every second passing by. The fear of thunderstorms was something that most people grew out of as they got older, most people but you. You flinched when you saw the flash of light once more and waited a few seconds for the clap. Once it came, you audibly shrieked. You felt yourself go stiff before relaxing again.

“Tina?!” You pulled the blankets over your head. When no answer came, you shifted the blankets down a bit and sighed at the empty poster bed next to you. Tina was gone and you were alone.

‘She’s still at that party held by some older Gryffindors,’ you thought to yourself. You thought long and hard, trying to find anyone who would be willing to wake up and comfort you but no one came into mind. Except for Na Jaemin, Jaemin was a well known Slytherin and you had the world's biggest crush on him. He and his giant group of friends were the one of the most popular groups in the school and if any boy or girl had a crush, you could bet it was on any of the boys. The only other group of friends who were equally as popular was LOONA but again it didn’t matter. Jaemin always offered to help you with classwork when he saw your struggle. You thought back to when he saved you from some other students during one of your shared classes.

You were put to work with two other students in potions. They told you that they would read out the instructions and you could do the work. You were already uncomfortable but didn’t want to make the situation any worse. They fooled around and read to you the wrong ingredients and how much of each. This caused a big explosion that costed you 50 points from your house. Jaemin stepped in and convinced the professor that it wasn’t your fault. Other students followed him and shared how they saw your two other partners slacking off. The number of witnesses changed his mind and the points were given back to your house and 50 was taken from each student in their house. You thanked Jaemin endlessly. You wouldn’t have been able to defend yourself from the headboy and headgirl if they were to question you about the missing points. Jaemin wanted to save you from the problem not just because you were his friend but he felt something towards you but you’d never know because he didn’t have the guts to tell you.

Na Jaemin was the friendliest person you could imagine and you were jealous of his friends to be able to be around him so much. You began to wonder if asking him for this favor would be crossing the line. Another light flashed and you didn’t want to be alone for when the sound would echo in the cold stone walls. You grabbed a blanket and speed walked to the area where the boys slept.

You practically ran to the large door of the room where Jaemin would be in. You remembered from the few times he would lead you to his room so he could give back a borrowed book or homework. Not to mention his name and his roommates names were written on a chalkboard sign that hung on the door. You read off the names. Jeno, Haechan and Renjun.

You took a deep breath and knocked the large door softly, almost scared to make any noise. To your luck, Jaemin wasn’t a light sleeper. You didn’t want to be alone though.You thought about how fast could you run back to your rooms and forget this whole thing if he wasn’t awake. When you heard the rolls of thunder, you knocked a bit harder and called out his name.

"J-Jaemin?" Your voice trembled and squeaked near the end of his name. You heard a pair of feet shuffling towards the door. The door opened and he stared down at you. He wore a plain gray tee shirt and a pair of yellow and black plaid pajama pants. He held a cup of coffee in one hand.

"Y/N, what are you doing here in the boys wing?" As soon as he finished speaking, a loud clap of thunder followed by a flash of lightning lit up the sky. In that second, he saw your face instead of your silhouette. You looked scared and your body froze at the sound before trembling.

He quickly went inside to put down his back cup back down and asked you, “are you okay?”

“Barely, I know this is way too much to ask but,” you paused and thought if could really ask of this from him but then another clap came, you didn’t have a second thought about asking him.

“Could you stay with me for the night?” You asked him. He looked confused and then shocked, probably taking your request for something else. You quickly waved your hands in front of you.

“I’vehadthisreallybigfearofthunderstormsandmybestfriendisn’theresinceshe’satapartyand-” You started to explain yourself but your fast speech made it impossible to understand anything.

“Woah! Slow down.” Jaemin said as he put his hands on your shoulders to stop you from almost exploding again. You sighed and took a deep breath. His hands felt warm compared to the coldness of the basement hallways. Jaemin looked at you and told you to take a deep breath.

“I don’t mean it in a weird way I promise! I’ve had this fear of thunderstorms and my best friend isn’t here since she’s at a party and she usually helps. I figured you might.” You looked down after that, not being able to look at him straight on. You knew this was a bad idea but the weather got the best of you. You started to gather your pride and brought up that he didn’t need to do this.

“But if you don’t want to that's fine! I know this must be really awkward. I’m sorry!” You stared down at your slippers that Tina bought you as a gag gift from the souvenir store, you probably looked like a kid. You tugged on the blanket as it draped over your shoulders in your hands.

“No, it’s fine. You can come in.” You heard the door creak open and saw the lights from the inside brighten up the hallway. His roommates were gone and this whole thing just got awkward.

“I wasn't disturbing your sleep, was I?” You said as you hesitated to step into the room.

“I wasn’t even sleeping, don’t worry about it. You're not the only person who got woken up by the storm. I was doing some studying while the others were gone.” He sighed as he closed the door and sat at his desk chair. Messy scribbles of notes and textbooks piled the right side of the wooden desk, on the left was various empty cups of coffee he probably made in the common room. His books had multiple tabs in them and looked beaten up to the pulp with excessive use.

“For what? Exams aren’t until next month,” you asked as you sat on the closed trunk in front of his bed. His black day robe was lazily draped on the trunk corner and his bag next to his desk.

“I’m bad in potions, ha..” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down before looking up at you. You two heard a meow and Jaemin got up from his seat to open the door again. His cat had came back from her nightly walk before sleeping. He held her in his arms for a bit before she jumped out and went to her kibble bowl by the trunk. He sighed and gave a look of defeat at her.

“Memorization?” You asked. Everything had a recipe and it was all in the books you where required to buy but Mr. Kwon wanted to make the older classes harder. He would assign a list of maybe 3 potions in the beginning of the week and hold a potion lab test at the end of the week.

“Yea, I could never remember what goes in what. Always stinking up Jiyong’s class.” You and him laughed, remembering how Jaemin mixed something up that somehow managed to turn Jeno’s hair neon blue. You two looked over at Kiki who was meowing loudly at your direction.

“You could get on the bed if you want, Kiki likes to hog the trunk for herself.” You nodded and got up. Kiki jumped on the brown trunk and made herself comfortable on the spot you sat in. He motioned towards his bed and you took the initiative to sit. You sank into the soft mattress.

“I might have my phone on there so just put it nightstand, if you could plug it in for me that would be great.” You spotted the phone and a pair of headphones. You carefully placed them on the nightstand and plugged his dying phone in for him. You waited for the screen to light up before placing it down next to his headphones. You sat on the bed and watched Kiki eat.

“Thanks again, I’m sorry.” You apologized. You didn’t want to look at him, so you stayed fixated on Kiki. He took a sip of coffee before placing the pencil behind his ear on his potions textbook.

“It’s fine, are you comfortable? You could go under the covers. I won’t mind.” Jaemin saw your cheeks tinge a slight pink. He turned around in his swivel chair to avoid you witnessing him smiling widely. He heard the sound of slippers falling to the floor and the shuffling of his sheets.

“Hey girl, wanna keep me company?” You softly asked Kiki, she stared at you for a bit before getting up, stretching and walking towards you. Jaemin turned his attention to you as he saw her in your lap, almost jealous of his own cat. He jokingly glared at the two of you on his bed. You giggled and shrugged at him as you slowly pet Kiki who was now on your lap.

“She never cuddles with me,” he said with a pout. You smiled and scratched the top of her head. Happy meows came out of her as she rubbed herself against you. You felt a shiver up your back.

“Do you ever get sick of how cold it always is down here? I know I do,” you said as you sat under his surprisingly warm sheets. You didn’t entirely want to just lounge in his room and the thunder was making you anxious. You thought that maybe talking to Jaemin would cancel out the noises coming from the sky. Jaemin turned away from his textbook and looked at you under the sheets with Kiki who moved back into her previous spot. His eyes gleamed with something.

“Want me to get in with you?” You noted the playfulness in his voice. You froze at his words.

“Now that would be taking advantage of your kindness, I’ll have Kiki keep me warm,” you said as you averted his gaze. He knew what he was doing to you and he absolutely loved it. He found it cute, found you cute. Your cheeks looked so pinchable. Your oversized shirt made him swoon.

“Share some warmth,” he said as he jokingly shivered and ran his hands up and down his arms. You sighed and pet Kiki. While you were here, you might as well help him. You weren’t great in potions but knew enough to pass the class. You called his name. His heart skipped a beat.

“Bring the book over, maybe I can help.” His eyes lit up at your proposal and grabbed the textbook and a pen. He sat up against the headboard and moved his pillow. Kiki found the pillow more comfortable than either of your laps so she laid on it and stayed there for a while.

You spent the next hour helping Jaemin remember ingredients. You would take the book away from him when he would list things off. Occasionally, your hands would touch and he made comments about it. Joking that you were a vampire. You rolled your eyes at his poor jokes. You asked him for flashcards so you could make some for him but you yawned mid sentence.

“Do you want to rest?” He asked you as you wiped your teary eyes. You nodded while rubbing them. He almost couldn’t take how cute you were being. He closed his textbook and put it on the floor. He poked at Kiki to get off his pillow before turning it over and putting it back at its original place. He laid down and looked up at you before telling you to lay down also. You hesitated but you felt yourself shutting down due to lack of energy and how long you’ve been up. You lay down and face him, you two were so close that you needed to move back to avoid being right up at his face. He observed your face from the closest he’s ever seen it. You noticed this but didn’t say anything. You felt surprisingly calm at this moment next to Jaemin on his bed.

“This is a lot less awkward than I thought I would be…” you trailed off. You didn’t want to finish that sentence. You didn’t want to let him know how your heart was surprisingly calm as you laid in the same bed as your crush i.e him. He instantly wanted to know what you had to say.

“Why is that?” Jaemin’s interest peaked but you stayed silent. He was going to get it out of you.

“Ah, come on tell me!” You started to laugh as he pokes your sides and tickled them. You two laughed until your throat felt dry. You started to cough. Jaemin got up and went to grab you something to drink. He gave you a cup of water, you started to drink it and put it down after a bit.

“Honestly, I thought you were about to hand me a cup of coffee or poison,” you said but quickly shut your mouth and smack a hand over it. Jaemin started to giggle as he stood by your side.

You looked at Jaemin with wide eyes. You knew exactly what he gave you, “I swear to god, did you give me a truth serum?” Jaemin smiled. It almost made you want to forgive him, almost.

“Hey, you weren’t telling me anything and I’m a stubborn person. I wanted to know,” Your eyes widened and you smacked his arm. He laughed loudly, throwing his head back and letting out as much laughter as he could. His hair fell back and moved back into place when he lifted his head.

“I’m going to force myself into a coma, oh my gosh. I’m going to sleep!” You let yourself hit his pillow and turned away from him. You eyed the cup on the nightstand that you just drank from.

Jaemin laid down and propped himself on his elbow before asking you, “do you sleep talk?”

“Luckily, no,” you said with a smile on your lips. You called Kiki over and she happily laid in the spot next to Jaemin’s pillow. Jaemin wished you a good night before going back to his desk.

While you slept, Jaemin would peek over at you when he felt restless. How cute you looked under his sheets sent his heart soaring. Sometimes you would make small sounds but it was just because both of Kiki’s paws were on your face. You really were out like a light, Jaemin left to make more coffee in the common room and when he came back, you were still asleep.

It wasn’t until around 3 AM that you got up. You groaned and lifted yourself off the bed. Jaemin smiled at your disheveled hair and still sleepy expression. He got up and sat on the bed.

“Sleep well?” you rubbed your eyes and noticed Jaemin hovering over you. Your heart flipped when you looked up at his eyes and tried to speak. You covered your face with the blanket and shuffled backwards but he kept leaning forward and forward. You finally said something to him.

“I really didn’t mean to fall asleep.” You covered your face with your hands and moved away from Jaemin but you could only shuffle so far on a twin bed meant for one person, not two.

“It’s alright, you looked like you were resting well,” Jaemin looked down at you. Remembering your soft breathing and content sighs when he would move your hair out of your face when he went to check up on you. You acted like Kiki, moving towards his touch as he was next to you.

“I-I think I should go, it’s really late and it sounds like the storm stopped, I’m lying by the way,” you started to get out of the bed realizing that the serum wasn't out of effect yet. You were sitting at the edge of the bed when another strike of lightning came down. Jaemin saw your body jump as the sound was louder in his room. He looked at you and patted the spot you were in before.

“Maybe,” he paused and looked at you, “you should stay the night. I won’t do anything bad.”

“What if I want you to,” you said. You hid your face and turned away from him. Your face heated up and your heart beat quick. You really hated this serum and him but that was hard to do.

“Oh,” his voice perked up. He was surprised that the serum’s effect was going to last longer than he expected. He sat on the bed, trying to collect his thoughts until you spoke up again.

“Wow, look at the time! It’s been three hours and this stupid serum isn't out of effect yet! I really hate you for this but I’m glad you did it.” You said as you picked your blanket from the hood of his trunk and started walking towards the door. Kiki meowing for you not to leave the room.

Jaemin moved quicker than you did. He reached the door before you did and held your wrist. He pulled you closer to him. You put your hands on his chest to steady yourself. His hands now around your waist. He leaned in closer and closer. He saw your eyes flicker between his and his lips. His lips looked inviting, a hue of muted pink. You looked back up at his eyes.

“What do you want me to do?” He said as he cocked a brow at you and smiled a grinned a bit.

“Kiss me and lead because I’m really nervous right now but I’ve never felt so alive,” you responded quicker than he expected. He started to lean down and you closed your eyes. You felt his breath on your lips. His eyes opened and looked at you. Your eyes fluttered open and looked back at him, wondering why he stopped. Your heart felt like it was about to jump out.

“Are you entirely sure?” He was sweet to ask but you mentally wanted to scream, he was really asking you this while he’s a few millimeters away from you. He was teasing you at this point.

“I’m talking under the influence of a truth serum. Just hurry up,” he laughed lowly before pressing his lips against yours. They were a little chapped. You could taste the faint bitterness of the coffee he drank. His hands found themselves on your hips. He let one hand move behind your head and held you in place. His hand would make you shift to the right as the pressure of the kiss went harder. Your noses bumped into each other. Your hands moved from their place on his chest and around his shoulders. You let your fingers comb through his hair. It felt a little dry from all the times he had dyed it.

He pulled away to let you two breath, if he didn’t he would have kept his hold on you until who knows. You two breathed heavily. Your cheeks flushed and your lips were the same color as them. Jaemin felt a thousand arrows going through his heart. You grabbed his collar and went back in. He was shocked and surprised that you took the lead this time but he wasn't complaining. He took this chance to enjoy himself. Your lips were plush and soft. He held you close to himself as you continued to just kiss him into the door behind him. He painfully pulled you away from him. He needed to breath again and so did you.

“Why’d you stop me, please keep going if you don't like me doing it,” you said shamelessly and immediately felt yourself flush with color when you realized what you said. Jaemin laughed.

“I didn't not like what you were doing but you seemed like you need to breath,” he said in between breaths as rested his forehead on yours.

“I’m still angry at you about the serum.” You said as you hit his chest.

“That's fine with me.” He pulled you in for a tight hug and pecked your forehead.

This totally random but I saw a jacket version of the vest Jaemin wore in GO and I almost screamed bc I hated that vest on him. The GO outfits was like the cousin of the Limitless outfits for some of the stuff they put the boys in. - Chii

Please don’t claim this as your own and please don’t do anything with it without my permission. If you don’t want it happening to you, don’t do it to others.

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years

Text

– REBUILD III –

RUNAWAY RENEGADES

· COLLECTION 1 ·

“backstories”

———————————————————

- VOLUME ONE -

Dennis, Aaron, Damon, Sawblade

It was a normal (or was it?) day. The alarm on the boy's phone rang loudly, and he woke up.

Two hours late. It was a Monday.

Too tired to care, he fell back down to his bed and went on his phone. He opened Twitter and was shocked to spot the #1 trending hashtag:

#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty

He rejoiced, opening it to find millions of tweets without any context. After ignoring various fancams that made him lose hope in the current situation, he stumbled upon a thread explaining the current situation.

“#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty : A THREAD <3” The first tweet twote, accompanied with four pictures: One of Doja Cat herself, one of Nicki Minaj, another of whoever becomes the next US president, and Lana Del Rey. What the hell is going on?

“As we all know, Doja Cat, Beyoncé, and many other artists have somehow been cancelled by Lana Del Rey within a week in May of 2020,” Okay… “This is due to Lana's satanic powers.” Oh, okay. Yeah, this was the same account who said that Avril Lavigne has a clone. Who was part of the CIA. Sure, man, whatever.

“At 3:56 AM today, Doja Cat had kidnapped [insert 46th president here] and escorted him to a secondary location. Then, Nicki stabbed the shit outta him. This has caused the America fandom to go insane.” what. “Lana was behind this. As we all know, she and Jessie J had hacked into The Pentagon and made Beyonce Knowles president, for clout.” what.

He put down his phone, questioning what the hell Stan Twitter was on now. The boy approached his cat, Sawblade, who was sleeping on the floor. Sawblade yawned dramatically and circled the boy's legs. He picked her up and laid her onto his bed.

“kwjdkwjjrjrjrkjwkjwjrkj” The cat purred. His phone buzzed. It was a notification from PlayStation Messages. He opened it, eager to know if one of his friends finally wanted to play multiplayer with him.

“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello PLAYSTATION user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”

Oh, a scam. He took a screenshot of the text, and then immediately blocked and reported the user, NULL000000. Huh, odd username. Whatever, he's not gonna reply–

One DM from Twitter.

NULL AGENCIES ✓ – @NULLhiring

“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello TWITTER user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”

The same thing, huh? This NULL guy really wants his money, he guesses. First Nicki commits manslaughter and now he keeps getting the same scam messages? It's only been not even an hour today and yet so much has happened. What next, Enya comes out of hiding?

“BuzzFeed News: Famous singer Enya comes out of her big-ass castle to collaborate with Nyan Neko Sugar Girls creators for new Apple TV miniseries”

Damn, okay, this is a dream. The boy wrapped himself in a blanket, hugged his bolster and wriggled around, trying to sleep. He couldn't, so he went back on Twitter.

jimin is fr**kin DEAD (@bangtanctwice):

“dont s-word me but like why is l/*n//a out of prison again. i thought she had the electric chair already ://”

illumi killed silva <3 (@hxhoverwatcch)

“ITSSB ACK !!!!!!!!! HXH IS BAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEAAHAJAHAHAAAAA DJDJJDJDJSNDNFJDDJ”, followed by an edit of Hisoka Morow.

oikawa⁷ (@HAIKYUUUUS)

“man how the hell did furudate think a crossover w yu yu hakusho mp100 bnha kny gintama n hgtv could save haikyuu. it practically ended the moment they all ate that volcano w departure in the bg”

Kerry Washington ✓ (@kerrywashington)

“LITTLE FIRES 6 OUT NOW!!!! I'm gonna EXPLODE Earth in this one!!! I'm going back to the Early Cambrian stage!!!! Bye Pearl!!”

Internet Explorer Anitwt (@iloveboruto)

“Y’all Kurapika brought A SHOVEL to that fight with Uvogin!!! A Whole SHOVEL!!! 😂😂😂”

knas is canon !! (@moiiiraclones)

“guys i think bakugos a kurta..... think abt it.... red eyes... always stressed......”

vic (NOT SPOILER FREE!!!) (@myname_jeff)

“why is no one addressing the fact that jfk 2 is happening and like everyone involved has stans”

ray is ia rn (@cryptodorito)

“my dog just ate my dad ....... stan list !”

give moxxi another dlc (@TORGUEEEE)

“hey does anybody find it weird that gearbox just released borderlands 4 w no buildup At All. seems p fishy :(”

gerard's hand sanitizer (@raytowo)

“did mcr just do twelve concerts in three days. legends”

ceo of tanjirou (@hiskoamorron)

“pls stream jessie j now ;) or die <\3”

ceowo owof bakuwugowouwu (@bakubaby)

“yes, what i did was wrong. there are dogs everywhere starving and eating dog treats is not morally right. that said, (1/67)”

Okay, enough of that. No more. Please. Three hours have passed, and he's still very confused, if not even more confused than before. Is there some sort of event today that he missed? Why is every single tweet weird? Is all this real? Is he in a parallel universe? Is he dead?

The boy zoned out into the bedroom wall, thinking of all the possibilities of this happening. He was lost in his imagination, his train of thought splitting and exploding due to all the unusual occurrences. That was, until Sawblade voiced out her needs.

“YEEEEEEHEHEA” she yelled. She was starving, mainly because the last time she ate was like, a whole hour ago. Sad.

“Ye lah,” “Mew,” “Meow meow mew mew mew,” The boy meowed as he dragged himself to fill up his cat's bowl. “chyouooyoymeeeiielll,” he complimented, ruffling the cat's face.

The boy tripped over his Form 3 activity book as he was walking, a reminder that he should probably do his homework soon. He turned the doorknob and opened the door and he was shocked to find that his house…

Had been ripped in half.

He pushed his back against the wall and slowly inched along the wall towards the kitchen, staring down into the abyss below the house. The living room had a sofa missing, and the television looked like it was going to fall down any second. Furniture floated in the void below the floorboards, which was bent, with plumbing pipes exposed, as well as the metal rods holding the house together.

It reminded him of what Sanctuary looked like when it was floating in space in Borderlands 2. But instead of a city, it was a condominium unit. And instead of Lilith lifting it up, it was… unknown. If only he could gunzerk, or have siren powers, or be a ninja sniper assassin, or have a turret, or have a giant mech, or be super tall and have a buzz-axe. If only. But thank God there's no Mordecai. To hell with Mordecai. I hate Mordecai. He's the most straightest man. Ever. Claptrap is less straight than him. HANDSOME JACK is less straight than him. R O L A N D is CLEARLY less straight than him. Mordecai is the epitome of heterosexuality.

Thankfully, the boy reached the kitchen safely, but still very full of anxiety, and poured the cat food into a flat container, since Sawblade is so fluffy, her face can't fit in cat bowls. He emptied the water bowl, cleaned it, and filled it with filtered water, making sure it's slightly cooled. Sawblade likes it that way. As she cronched on the kibbles, he stared into the distance, wondering what his apocalypse name would be.

He grabbed a glass of water and a packet of muffins for his breakfast. As he ate it, he scrolled through his timeline as if it was the morning paper. Oh, Katy Perry gave birth to twelve kids. And Gowon killed X Æ A-Xii. With a machete. Ok. That's cool, I guess. Capitalism, y’know?

:DAMON @C0RR0Sl0N

“my house got sliced in half. im just chillin here w my cat sawblade. considering eating cat food. not influenced by any recent drama ok”

Send Tweet.

As the boy was eating, he noticed the front door to the house was missing. The entrance lead to what seemed like the side of the street. In a foreign place. The lamppost was unfamiliar, and so was the pavement design. It seemed rather American.

He peeked his head out, and lo and behold, he spotted a pet shop just a couple of feet away. The sudden shock of all this made him forget about his cat, an indoor cat, a curious one. Sawblade stepped slowly outside, and as she went into the boy's view, he stormed to catch her, panicking and swearing profusely.

Of course, this made her way more terrified, and she ran faster, and… into the ajar door of the pet shop. “SAWBLADE!!! DON'T!!” he yelled loudly as he stopped in front of the building. The boy paused, unsure whether to proceed or retreat.

“Russell Family Pet Store, since 1965” wrote a large sign on the front. It looked rustic, but well-kept. The blinds were drawn, so the boy couldn't see what was inside. The building occupied two lots, and seemed to be two storeys tall. A nice rooftop garden was situated on top of it, and there were painted-over remnants of many posters plastered onto the walls. The walls were now coated with light brown paint. This building was surely cared for by a variety of owners.

Although hesitant, the boy stepped into the store, his hands shaking. He could've probably pass out right then and there if he wasn't searching for Sawblade. He sneaked into the building quietly, determined to get his cat and run like hell right after. However, his ideal plan was quickly foiled after he stepped on a squeaky toy.

“Shit, who's there?” A deep voice asked. It seemed like it belonged to someone tall, depressed, and very angry about capitalism. The boy was stuttering, both from the panic of being caught, and also because he had to speak to a native English speaker. “Probably just the delivery guy,” A second voice assured. This voice seemed quite hard to guess, but it was surely a kind one. Very trustworthy. “Jed, is that you?” The kind voice added. Yeah, these two are totally friendly. Probably. Don't take any chances, though.

A figure approached the boy, and it towered above him. The 5'9" hulking beast stopped. “Oh, sorry, we're closed. It's Judgment Day,” the kind man said. Well, of course it's judgement day. Why wouldn't it be judgement day? “Wait, no, I'm an idiot. Martin Luther King Jr’s day.” The man corrected. “How the hell do those two even remotely sound like each other?” The first voice said, the owner sitting behind the counter, shadowed.

“M-My cat's here.” “Have y-you sa-see-sawn her?” The boy was actually very fluent in English, even more than Malay, but the panic he was experiencing kind of absolutely extirpated any knowledge of it from his brain. Really, dude? “Sawn”? What is this, Texas?

Fortunately the two were understanding. The man behind the slau– counter stood up suddenly. “Holy shit, do you speak Spanish? Habla español?!” He asked excitedly. “No, why would I–? I'm Malay, dumbass,” the boy retorted, then realising that he just insulted someone much older than he was and that was… kinda rude. “WAIT SORRY” he blurted out, sending him back into the panic that he was under when he entered the store.

“HUH?! No, I’M sorry, I just assumed you were South American just because you couldn't speak English!” The man yelled, apologizing loudly. Yeah, this dude's sure as hell white. “I CAN!!! WHERE'S MY CAT!!!” The boy shouted back, very confused at where his priorities should be right now. “Oh!” said the man in front of him.

“IS THIS HIM– SORRY, HER?!” The man asked, reaching towards the corner. “We, uh, found her just straight-up running into here. Which is really weird, since cats, like, don't do that,” he said, holding Sawblade. Senang cita. “YES!! THANK YOU!!” The boy yelled. Why is everyone yelling?

Sawblade looked comfy all snuggled up in the man's arms. “He… seems to like you,” The boy said jealously. Usually, he was the one Sawblade loved most. “I have ten cats, so,” The man replied casually. “…How? Even?” he questioned as he carefully took Sawblade from the stranger. “I just do?”

The boy still remained very confused. “Name's Aaron, by the way. Please don't call me Ay-Ay-ron. Just… please,” the kind man said. “Ok” the boy replied. “Mine's. Um. Uh.” “…” The boy thought whether to say his real, legal one, or the one he went with online, which he seemed to prefer way more than his real one. “THE NAME'S DENNIS RUSSELL. I SHARE MY INITIALS WITH A VIDEO GAME.” The white guy said, interrupting the boy's statement. “Oh. Good to know. Hi, Mr. Danganronpa,” The boy politely said. “Fuck yeah,” replied Dennis.

“And if you're wondering which one of us is part of the Russell family that's running this shop,” Dennis began, “Den, don't,” Aaron interrupted. “It's my family. But, my dad became a magician, and my dad's choosing to indulge in his gardening hobby here, so the job's passed down to me now,” Aaron said.

“G//ay Ass!” Dennis shouted. “Okay, fine, Dennis, since we got married last month, you're part of the Russell family, too, honey,” Aaron said. “Just don't–” “YEEEEEHAAWWEE PARDNER WELCOME TO YE OLDE RYUSSELL PEYT SHYOP–” Dennis yelled loudly enough to give the boy a heart attack. However, this was probably the tenth time this week he did this, so Aaron was just very tired. “Jesus.”

“Um, what is this place?” The boy was still very much confused on why there was a pet shop sitting in front of his house, which was ripped in half. “I just told you…” Dennis said disappointedly. “No, like, where am I? Why are you guys American? I'm assuming? I'm not?” The boy said. “Well, our pet shop's in Toledo; Toledo, Ohio,” Aaron stated, gesturing towards a pile of papers. “If you're lost, we have some maps, some phone books…” he continued, unaware of the current situation.

“No, I live in Selangor, so– Selangor, Malaysia, not Ohio, out of all places, God, no, and my house is right over there,” the boy argued, pointing outside. “Well, half of it,” The two pet shop workers stood at their places, trying to process what the hell this kid just said. “Like? There? Outside this gracious state that occupies the #2 spot for most arson cases in the US? That's Malaysia?” Dennis shot back, also unaware. The boy was a bit excited after hearing him mention the name of his country, but shook it off to further develop the conversation. “Yes. Somehow. Also, I really don't think this is Ohio. Too many buildings and I haven't seen any corn fields,”

“Didja know there's over 75,000 farms in this 14-million acre state? There are, ya just gonna know where to look :)” Dennis stated. “What the hell? That's way too many farms. How does… what…” The boy replied in shock, almost dropping Sawblade. “I'm sorry, what?” Aaron asked. “Yup! Lotta farms in the buckeye state!” Dennis replied excitedly.

“HALF?!” “Of it??” It seemed like Aaron was the only one there actually concerned about the task at hand. “Huh? Oh yeah. Not really that big of a deal, though, honestly; enough food here for thirteen weeks,” How the boy calculated that, and how accurate it is remains a mystery. “Anyway, how do state fairs work? Like, do corn dogs taste good? I've had deep-fried Oreos once, they tasted really good. Really love 'em,”

Aaron ignored the exchange by the two very excited individuals and opted to step out to see if the boy was right or not. In his head, he was honestly convinced he wasn't, but that was up for change. Hell, he didn't even look at his phone or the TV today, so maybe the kid's right, his house is snapped in half.

Oh, it is.

“Holy shit, Denny, come look,” he yelled, gesturing to his husband. “Okay! I hope the aliens aren't homophobic or anything! :)” Dennis replied, running eagerly to the door. “HOT DAMN!” Dennis shouted. Now the boy could see how they both looked like, especially Dennis.

Dennis was definitely over six feet tall, he had balding, spiky red hair, and his eyes were big and sunken, and had bags under them. Aaron, on the other hand, had only seemed tall because of his hair. Aaron was missing a tooth for some reason. His lower-left fang. That's weird. They were both sporting uniforms; an orange shirt covered by a green vest with the logo of the pet shop sewn near the… like the… the end of it but like in the front? Like the middle? But like the logo was on the side. Yeah

“I don't think aliens are homophobic. Have you played Borderlands? Lots of g/ay people, and they're all technically aliens. I think the aliens are g//ay,” the boy explained thoughtfully. “I have, at my friend's house this one time, but then I died and I had to, like, pay, so then I just left his house, man,” Aaron replied. “Yeah, that's fair, usually I just save and quit whenever I die,” the boy added.

“Wait, what's your name, again? This whole time, you're being referred to as ‘the boy,’” Dennis asked, breaking the fourth wall. “Shrek,” the boy replied. The two men nodded in solidarity. “Good name,” Aaron complimented. “It reminds me of my childhood, and good times, and Shrek-flavored Oreos,” he added.

Shrek paused for a bit, hesitant to tell them his preferred name, but saying it anyway because they both seem quite nice and understanding, also, his family's not there. “I'm kidding. Shrek is but only my middle name,” Shrek explained, “Please, call me…”

“Damon,”

Gender euphoria ran through his veins like that one time Thanos put on the infinity gauntlet and he was AAAAAGH, P O W E R,,, HNGGH, that but Yeah. “Cool! Hi, Damon!” Dennis said, watching Damon's eyes burn with joy. Oh, just saying, like in some more volumes, this little kid turns into a pyromaniac, so. Yeah. Watch out for that. This is Foreshadowing.

Aaron scanned the horizon, unknowing what the hell was happening. “Hey, guys, should we… go investigate or something?” Damon thought for a bit, but not too much because this thing going on seemed too random to properly scan and plan. “Um, I don't know,” he said wisely, “Did you guys hear about that thing with, like, Nicki Minaj and the president? Were you guys affected or whatever?”

“With who and what? Nick– NICKI?? THE PRESIDENT?? OF HERE?? WHATEVER THIS THING IS???” Dennis struggled to figure out what Damon was saying. “Yeah, she stabbed him or something. Doja Cat helped too :)” Damon explained, confusing the two even more. “Why?” Aaron tried. “I dunno. Drama?” “Heard Lana's involved too… but you didn't hear it from me, yeah?” Damon added.. “THE COW GIRL. HELPED NICKI. AND LANA. ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT. DAMON.”

- * Special Thanks * -

Snowball

Sandball

Gon Freecss

Killua Zoldyck

Leorio Paladinight

Kurapika Lastname

Hisoka Morow

(is that the correct spelling?)

Illumi Zoldyck

Kikyo Zoldyck (shes pretty, ok)

Kanamori Sayaka

Mizusaki Tsubame

Asakusa Midori

Pakunoda

Machi Komacine

Moira O'Deorain

Freddy Krueger

Sideshow Bob

Spy TF2, Pyro TF2, Scout TF2, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Yoda, Darth Vader, he's cool, Sheev Palpatine, Developers of the video game “Tiny Thief”, Mad Moxxi, Ellie Kurta (shes a spiderant. my theory), Handsome Jack (Not Really, Burn In Hell) (during the period of time between me writing this and me copying and pasting this, i have developed a crush on not only jack, but his doppelgangers too. help)

Angel :)), Claptrap, Dr. Zed, NOT Marcus Kincaid, Dr. Patricia Tannis, Roland, Lilith, Brick (ga/y rights), Zer0, Krieg, Tiny Tina, Tiny Tuna, Louise Bob's Burgers, Mabel Pines, Stanley Pines, Lazy Susan, Sheriff Daryl Blubs, Deputy Durland, Officer Spectre :)), Yoda Again, 2003 Honda Civic, Ray Toro, Lynz Way, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Linda Bob's Burgers, Bob's Burgers Bob's Burgers, Sans Undertale, Komaeda, Sombra // Olivia Colomar, Actually All Of Talon Bc They're Hot Af, Except For That French Guy Max, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Spider-Man PS4, Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, The Lil Psychic Girl, Uhhhh Mario Brothers

part 2 incoming.

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