Tumgik
#implied self harm tw
autisticayin · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
grandiose
209 notes · View notes
cantdanceflynn · 4 days
Text
youtube
heres the past two days btw. no promise of anything today bc im sick af
10 notes · View notes
meraki24601 · 7 months
Text
Not Sick: Part 4
Whumptober day 6! Yeah... This one went darker than I thought it would when I started this whole many-part train of thought. What else is new? Don't blame me! Blame the prompt: Made To Watch.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
-----------*-***-*-----------
“Who… Who are you?” Caretaker’s eyes were wide as they took in the scene in front of them. They couldn’t hear Whumpee’s stifled pleas for them to run. 
“Oh, look at you! Kitten, you didn’t tell me they were absolutely adorable. How dare you, Whumpee. They’re so pretty. Just like a doll.” Whumpee could feel Whumper shifting above them. They pressed down on Whumpee, an unspoken threat to stay down, then stood. “Hello, Doll. You can call me Whumper. Or Master if you like. I’ve always wanted to be called Master.”
“What are you doing in our apartment?” Caretaker’s eyes flicked down to Whumpee and recognition sparked, “Wait, did you say Whumper? You’re Whumper?”
“Did my Kitten tell you all about me? Tell you about our games?” Whumper crept closer to Caretaker. The reached around Caretaker to pull the bedroom door closed. “Would you like to play?”
With strength they didn’t know they had, Whumpee pushed themselves to their hands and knees. They allowed the tears building in the corners of their eyes to fall and crawled to Whumper. “Please, not them. Play… Play with me.” Any air they had saved to beg disappeared as their chest tightened in a coughing fit.
Whumper’s hand in their hair made them flinch, “Good job, Kitten. That was beautiful begging. It makes me sad I can’t do what you ask.” The hand tightened, pulling Whumpee higher off the floor. “Tell you what, since you begged so prettily, I’ll make a deal with you. If you can close the window and pull the curtains, I won’t kill them.”
Caretaker gasped, but Whumpee didn’t waste time looking at them. Whumper’s patience wouldn’t last long. By the time they made it back to the bed they realized their strength wouldn’t last much longer either. Their fever had definitely risen again. They left a sweaty handprint on the sheet where they grabbed it to pull themselves up. Head throbbing and heart pounding, Whumpee lifted themselves up to their feet for the first time in days. 
Thunk! Whumpee came to their senses clinging to the window. It was closed. They had closed the window over their bed. The hard part was over. With a sigh, Whumpee fell back on the bed. Blue skies came into view, a comforting sight before they wrenched the curtain closed with desperation they had almost forgotten.
“Well done, Kitten.” Whumper clapped enthusiastically. “Now, you stay right there. You’ve earned a rest. I want you to watch though. I want you to see what its like from the other side. Maybe you’ll appreciate it more when it’s your turn.” As they spoke, Whumper searched the room. They took a small tool box out of the closet, a sharpened pencil from the desk drawer, and a pair of socks from Whumpee’s dresser. 
Still digging in the dresser, Whumper turned to Whumpee with a grin. “Oh, you naughty Kitten.” They pulled out a small box and a roll of bandages. The box rattled as they shook it, “Is this what I think it is? Glad to see you missed me too.” They placed the box with the other supplies.
“I must say, I am in a wonderful mood. That was a lot of fun watching you try to meet my challenge. I think I have a new challenge for both of you.” Whumper skipped over to Caretaker whose eyes were locked on Whumpee. They were completely frozen. At least they were until Whumper’s hand wrapped around their throat. “Whumpee, i want you to watch. Blinking is allowed, but hiding, looking away, and passing out is a no no. Caretaker, I want you to take it silently. Moaning and groaning are allowed and encouraged, but if you scream, you lose.” 
Whumpee could see Caretaker swallow around Whumper’s hand, “And. And what do we get if we win?”
Giggling, Whumper pulled Caretaker to the desk chair and pushed them down into it. “My lovely little Doll knows how to play. I’m so excited! Okay. Okay, if Whumpee watches, I promise to stop after 10 minutes.” They shift Caretaker’s position in the chair, using a couple belts they found to tie their arms in place. “If you win, I promise to leave. Since you’re both playing so well, I’ll even leave both of you here.”
Now, Whumpee would have never agreed to the deal if Whumper hadn’t proved in the past to be true to their word. They did terrible things to Caretaker, hurt them in ways Whumpee wouldn’t have thought of using the limited tools they had found, but they didn’t cheat. They even gave Caretaker the socks they had taken to hold in their mouth and protect their teeth before they used the razors from Whumpee’s box. Fortunately, they didn’t count it against Whumpee when their stomach revolted and threw up over the side of the bed. After 10 minutes were up, Whumper left. 
“Don’t worry, Kitten. I’ll be back to play with you and Doll again. I just love hide and seek.” Whumper left through the window, whistling the same tune they had when they first arrived.
“They’re gone, Whumpee. They, they, they’re gone. Gone.” Caretaker drooped in the chair. 
“Caretaker!” Whumpee cried. They threw themselves off the bed toward their friend, collapsing into the puddle of their own sick mixing with splatters of Caretaker’s blood. Their head pounded in their skull each time their arm stretched out to pull them forward. Darkness took over before they could so much as touch Caretaker’s feet.
Part 5
10 notes · View notes
nonhumen · 1 year
Text
@giftandguile : " did you hear me, idiot? i said i think i love you. "
Tumblr media
yeah, he heard him. he wished he hadn't. it would be so much easier if he hadn't. but things are never easy for dazai osamu (things aren't easy for nakahara chuuya either, but dazai doesn't realize the extent of it until much later). so he's left with the pounding of his heart so loud and so painful that he thinks it will burst in his chest and fly across the room. he's left with sweaty palms and a wave of nausea. if he were thinking straight, dazai would be able to pinpoint these as classic symptoms of fear and anxiety. but what exactly would he be afraid of?
because all that is going through his head is why? why would chuuya say that? why would chuuya tell him that? love is not something allowed near dazai. he does not love nor can he be loved. this is a simple fact. love is an emotion reserved for humans.
" pffft. " dazai shakes with excess energy for one usually so still. something bubbles in his throat, ready to be released and never taken back. " ahahahahaha! " dazai laughs. he laughs with the enthusiasm of a child running away from something scary. distance. there must be distance. run faster and farther. push it away. cry and scream until it can never hurt you again.
and dazai has always been a master of destruction.
" that's pretty amazing! i didn't know chuuya could tell jokes. " he turns around, still laughing. " and they say you can't teach a dog new tricks. maybe your chibi brain is still growing after all! " dazai doesn't look back. he can't. he's too afraid.
Tumblr media
his cheek stings from the punch. he can feel the burn of it spreading across the entire side of his face. but it's not enough. dazai wants more. he wants chuuya to beat him into the ground, to break him and make him bleed like he is inside. but they both know he won't. chuuya is not someone to hurt those he cares about. those he loves. dazai will have to do it himself later.
and yet chuuya hurts dazai in a way only he can. chuuya hurts his heart. it aches to see him, to see the anger and the betrayal and his own pain staring back at him in eyes that could never hide anything. the worst part is now dazai knows what this feeling is. it's always been there, buried deep behind the darkness dazai willingly drowned in. but it took the light to realize the truth, the truth chuuya has known for years.
" you heard me, " dazai says brokenly. " i love you. " he knows he's late; he's four years too late. maybe that's why he's saying it. maybe he just wants chuuya to kill him the way dazai knows he killed chuuya back then. his heart screams for him, for the only who can truly complete him. and when it had been chuuya's heart screaming for dazai? he had laughed in his face like the monster he is.
it's not scary anymore. it just hurts. " i'm sorry. i love you. "
17 notes · View notes
ladyseidr · 1 month
Text
i had so much fun making that set of edits btw, like i almost considered using ble.nder and i'm SO glad i didn't ( it's a pain in the ass, mostly ). anyway, bonus image i didn't include because it's just another angle:
TW: i just realized that mike's scars are visible, but it's not the focus of the image
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
aestheticalgardens · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
WREN - SIMPBUR INTROJECT. | PERSONAL BOARD.
[ Artist: @verena-venus​ ]
11 notes · View notes
gingerkingfisher · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Making Myself Marketable!! Buy A Part Of Me Today!!!
10 notes · View notes
adoranoia · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
thinking abt. how to make the blood-web/cosmetics actually lore and blog friendly, mostly just 4 funsies. yall don’t gotta go along with this, ofc, especially since i doubt it’d ever rlly come up in threads anyway, but. i thought the ideas were kinda cool nonetheless, so. uhhh, here!‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
>the ‘blood-web’, is a small stone shrine, found within the woodsy area outside the campfire. decorated by lots of inextinguishable candles, over grown foliage, and a engraved web-esque pattern as an offering place. >here, survivors can offer up either scavenged items (luck offerings, realm offerings, reagents, blueprints, oaks, etc etc), which will effect their next trial. >or, they can give up their own blood in exchange for items, (toolboxes, med-kits, flashlights, maps, keys, etc etc), each item has a different set minimum, but. generally, the more blood, the better/more rare it is, tho.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
>killers have a similar system, though instead of being their own blood, it’s how much they’ve shed within the trials. allowing them add-ons relating to their ability, or general items w/ varying effects. >plus, bc of their direct connection 2 the entity, no shrine is needed.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
>as for cosmetics, its. not a literal store-type deal, ofc, instead: survivors occasionally get 'gifts’ of sorts from the entity, ie. items personal/important to them specifically, a family photo, something passed down from a loved one, certain pieces of clothing, etc etc. >anything that’d make them think of home, that’d keep them holding out hope for just a little longer, relight their fire, etc etc.‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
>killers aren’t free from this either, of course, it’s said that the entity feeds on hope. it being taken directly from survivors with each death isn’t the only way it gets it’s fix, you know.‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎
2 notes · View notes
knaiive · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
thinking abt. how to make the blood-web/cosmetics actually lore and blog friendly, mostly just 4 funsies. yall don’t gotta go along with this, ofc, especially since i doubt it’d ever rlly come up in threads anyway, but. i thought the ideas were kinda cool nonetheless, so. uhhh, here!
>the ‘blood-web’, is a small stone shrine, found within the woodsy area outside the campfire. decorated by lots of inextinguishable candles, over grown foliage, and a engraved web-esque pattern as an offering place. >here, survivors can offer up either scavenged items (luck offerings, realm offerings, reagents, blueprints, oaks, etc etc), which will effect their next trial. >or, they can give up their own blood in exchange for items, (toolboxes, med-kits, flashlights, maps, keys, etc etc), each item has a different set minimum, but. generally, the more blood, the better/more rare it is, tho.
>killers have a similar system, though instead of being their own blood, it’s how much they’ve shed within the trials. allowing them add-ons relating to their ability, or general items w/ varying effects.   >plus, bc of their direct connection 2 the entity, no shrine is needed.
>as for cosmetics, its. not a literal store-type deal, ofc, instead: survivors occasionally get 'gifts’ of sorts from the entity, ie. items personal/important to them specifically, a family photo, something passed down from a loved one, certain pieces of clothing, etc etc. >anything that’d make them think of home, that’d keep them holding out hope for just a little longer, relight their fire, etc etc.
>killers aren’t free from this either, of course, it’s said that the entity feeds on hope. it being taken directly from survivors with each death isn’t the only way it gets it’s fix, y’know.
2 notes · View notes
illusoryquixot · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Wee Dave angst
18 notes · View notes
cantdanceflynn · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
THIS ONE STILL FEELS A LIL WEIRD TO ME BUT LIKE. OH BOY THERES SO MANY LAYERS TO THIS EHEHEHEHEHEHE
@pyxehastoomanyinterests
9 notes · View notes
mundanemiseries · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
"....I just realized I broke a three and a half year clean streak for a bit."
2 notes · View notes
themadauthorshatter · 2 years
Note
Heya, for the trope ask game. Maybe 18 & 23? For StickVin, please? Only if you want to though. Thank you.
No problem!!👍
18: Circus AU
SO!
In the traveling Sticks and Stones Circus, ironically run by ex-military men Hubert Galeforce and H.J. Canterbury, Henry is something of aman on the run that needs a job, any job. While Galforce is suspicious, Canterbury goes right to interviews because they need two things: a man who's good with money, and an extra set of hands for when the circus ends, and to help woth confetti canons.
Henry, happy for the opportunity, hops right on board and meets the crew:
Rupert, their 'lion tamer'(all the animals are holograms)
Burt, their technician FOR the holograms
Victoria, their strong lady
Dave, Sven, Calvin, and Konrad, their clowns
The crew from Master Bounty hunty(I forgot their names, please don't be mad at me!!!) are their 'areal troupe' and acrobats
And, last but not least, Charles, their trapeze artist, areal silk dancer, and tightrope walker
And Henry is HEAD OVER HEELS for this guy, but Rupert tells him to back off, not because Rupert saw him first but because Charles is Galeforce's kid and is crazy protective of who's around him because hus parents were killed when Charles was a teenager.
Well, Galeforce can try all he likes, but Charles is still drawn to the new guy and gets friendly, asking him who he is, where he's been, all that good jazz, and even says that he's in the circus because he wants to help Galeforce from the army PTSD he has, as he saw his parents die and did nothing, so he's got some survivor's guilt.
The two warm up to each other, but it's revealed that Henry was a part of the group that killed Charles's parents, and that same group is heading towards the circus to grab Henry and bring him back.
This obviously results in a fight that gets Charles injured, but he's in love with Henry and says that it's good to know that he's not like them and that he's happy to have saved someone from dying.
He lives, don't worry, ans he and Henry continue being in the circus, where Henry is promoted to the circus's contortionist
23: Performer AU
For this, Henry is visual performer, like a moominshantz, because he was injured in an 'accident,' and looking for work. Charles is a theater performer also looking for work.
They're meeting is a complete accident, as they were at an audtion for different roles, but Henry offers Charles a meal after because bith are very small and have no money.
From here, we learn that Charles is actually trying to get away from being under the eyes of a helicopter parent(I wonder who?) and is just trying to find his place in the world.
Henry is just trying to live life to the fullest because you only get one chance and being a performer for him achieves that.
Charles does ask about his accident, and all you readers need to know is that accidents happen. Sometimes they're just called accidents because it's easier to accept, sometimes they were actually caused by other people or forces, so accident
Either way, the two grow closer and fall in love and have a show together, one observered by some people who don't like seeing Henry with Charles because Henry is a renegade delinquent and Charles isn't ready for the real world, as he has ADD and needs supervision because he's also CRAZY emotional at times.
Crazy enough to have a panic attack and run into a subway.
He doesn't die, he just gets his arm broken.
People still don't approve, but too bad because they fall for each other, move in, get an apartment and are ready to face the world together
5 notes · View notes
corruptiioned · 2 years
Note
“Can I.. do anything to get Ted back..? Please?”
The ram stared at the ground. Schlatt looked like shit; fresh cut scars on his arms, hair messy and knotted, and not to mention his.. skinnier appearance. Guess he hadn’t been eating.
( @jschllat )
Tumblr media Tumblr media
➳ "It depends. I quite enjoy watching you suffer, Schlatt."
➳ XD's talons tapped his mask's chin, admiring the trainwreck the ram was turned into. His acidic hues were brightly seen underneath, studying the other's features. A purr left his throat before he spoke up once more.
➳ "You'd have to make another deal."
4 notes · View notes
starsburned · 5 months
Note
❛  are you okay? are you hurt?  ❜ // from mia to dazai
ATTROXX PULLED FOR DAZAI.
Tumblr media
"Hm?"
Dazai turns to the source of the voice and blinks a few times before looking down at the blood seeping through the bandage on his arm. He seemingly only now realizes it's running down his palm to drip from his fingertips. He doesn't even know how long it's been bleeding, but he suspects that it comes from brushing up against something and reopening the wound.
Glazed over eyes that may hint at an altered state of mind, but he doesn't seem too bothered by it. Dazai holds it up and looks it over with a soft noise in the back of his throat. "Oh. I guess I am..." A beat of silence before he cusses under his breath. He just changed these too.
So he just breathes out a sigh and offers a noncommittal shrug whilst offering her a small smile. "It'll be fine." He moves to sit down and takes out a roll of bandages. Unwrapping the bandages would reveal old scars along with fresher wounds. He lets the blood clot and dry before he starts to wrap it once more with the clean bandages.
"I'm sorry if I startled you."
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
godgrownstar · 8 months
Note
chronic, stress & mind for miwa, chaos, rey, meyrin (you don't have to do all if you don't want to!!)
I did them all.
chronic: does my muse have any chronic health conditions / illnesses? how do these affect them from day-to-day? 
Miwa is fortunate enough to not have any lasting consequences from Ashoka accelerating her growth. Due to her connection with various Mir, she's at least in part protected from the Assimilation phenomenon as well.
Chaos is very similar, having only escaped the complications of a puppet controlled by a Mir due to Malespero's fondness for him.
Rey, on the other hand is not so fortunate. Being a clone, he suffers from near-constant and severe pain. While the medicine given to him by the Chairman does help prevent it, if he forgets, or should he experience extreme stress....
Because of this, he needs to keep his medicine on hand whenever possible, being a soldier and a mobile suit pilot makes this difficult, though, and he is sometimes caught in situations where he does now have access to it.
Because Rey's condition is caused by him being a clone, something which is considered taboo in the Earth Sphere, unless the Chairman (or somebody else who knows about his condition) is able to find some sort of "cure," he will likely die young.
Meyrin does not have any specific health conditions, but her physical health is often affected by her mental health, leading her to occasionally neglect her health at best, or cause herself direct harm at worse.
stress: does my muse handle stress well? what is a surefire sign for others to tell that they’ve become stressed? how does stress affect them mentally / physically? 
Miwa handles extreme stress about how you would expect somebody like her to. She ignores it until it becomes unbearable, and then she hides in her room or cries until she feels like she can go back to playing the hero.
If Miwa is curled up in her room with her stuffed bear - something only her family has seen - then she's reached the point where she's no longer able to be strong for everyone else.
Because Miwa is much younger than she actually looks and acts - a result of Ashoka's interference - she seems to 'regress' to her actual age when in these situations.
Chaos doesn't often show stress if he even experiences it. It's likely that Malespero's influence suppresses those feelings.
While in battle, any stress felt usually takes the form of a powerful anger... or more accurately, only fuels the already existing anger there.
Rey can usually handle stress well, but depending on the trigger for it...
While normally he hides his feelings better than most others, when truly overwhelmed it can trigger a complete breakdown on both the mental and physical level.
At best, this can render him unconscious for a few hours, at worst, it could eventually lead him to an early grave.
Meyrin is good at putting up a strong front, however she's fairly easily overwhelmed. When she finally stops trying to act like she's okay, then things have gotten to be too much even for her.
Normally, though, you can usually gauge her stress level from how much she looks around (as if watching out for someone or something) and how restless she seems.
Because Meyrin's mental health is fairly unstable, large amounts of stress can trigger serious episodes.
mind: does my muse have any mental conditions that affect their lives? what are they? how do they handle them? what coping methods do they use most? 
Miwa suffers from post traumatic stress disorder, after the events of Exodus, like most other Fafner pilots. Though she's good at hiding this, and it mainly manifests in an almost suicidal level of self sacrifice. Because she does not see the latter as a problem, she doesn't try to "cope" with it, instead smiling and acting like it was normal.
Chaos most notably lacks a proper sense of self, at the moment. Though he suffers from post traumatic stress disorder carried over from his previous "self" and the actions taken before he was fully under Malespero's control.
Like Mitsuhiro before him, he also has borderline personality disorder, however this seems to have been "suppressed" along with his previous personality. For the most part.
Rey suffers from a combination of post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, and severe distrust of and suspicion of others, especially his peers.
While his PTSD is usually managed by suppressing his feelings, his unhealthy attachment to the Chairman, feelings of inadequacy, and distrust of others, are at least in part encouraged in order to further the Destiny Plan. Due to this, he doesn't necessarily view them as something to be handled or resolved.
Meyrin also, like the other three suffers from PTSD, though mostly unrelated to her activities in the war. She also is deeply paranoid and struggles with trusting her government, and the technology she works with.
While she can usually calm down from an episode related to her childhood trauma with a shower, or some time to ground herself (after years of coping, and support), the latter is... more tricky than that.
0 notes