#in playing heinous practical jokes on the rest of the cast to dedicate himself to Actually Competing. and heather knows this.

[total-drama-brainrot]

do you think that somewhere, deep deep down inside heather, shes kinda into p!noah? (apologies, i’ve just seen the alejandro connection with p!noah and i was trying to stuff alenoaheather in with it)

anyway, ur b pfp messed me up when i was looking for u through who i follow and i was kinda just chanting ophe until i found it TT-TT

I think, deep deep down inside, Heather has a lot of introspective re-evaluation to do before she can even consider admitting to herself that she likes someone. And she's iconic for that. That doesn't stop her from forming crushes on people, mind you.

As for liking p!Noah? Well, (as a Noaheather Enjoyer myself) a lot of Heather's potential romance partners, in my mind at least, stem from the connections she can/does make with them. She's slow to open herself up to people, and really prickly, so for her to have positive feelings for someone else is a novelty. (*cough*gray-aro Heather real*cough*)

If Heather was able to foster some sort of rapport between herself and p!Noah, let's say by offering him something akin to an alliance (since it's only strategic to have a wildcard like Noah's turned out to be on her side- keep your enemies close and all), and see behind the many layers of crazy and deceit? She'd probably have a sense of begrudging respect for him, at least. It takes smarts and dedication to keep up a ruse like his for so long- Heather herself couldn't keep up the "nice girl" act for more than a few episodes- and she knows that Noah's deceptively smart.

Maybe that begrudging respect could blossom into more? Who's to say.

Maybe p!Noah also respects Heather's ruthlessness and cunning, since she was able to scheme and sabotage her way into the final three on Island. She's interesting, and Noah appreciates people who are interesting.

The main drawback of liking someone as eccentric as p!Noah is, as we saw with Izzy and Owen in canon, Heather would need to be able to keep up with him.

Obviously, Noah's not nearly as hyper and fickle as Izzy is, but he's just as impulsive and detached from reality. Heather can appreciate his cleverness and craftiness all she wants- if she can't deal with his callous madness, she'd have very little luck in trying to romance him.

The B pfp was an impulsive choice on my part but I'm not sorry for it because B deserves more recognition for literally carrying his whole team for the first few episodes. I do apologise for any confusion though!

#what i'm trying to say is p!noah could probably go toe-to-toe with heather strategy wise but doesn't because Your Boy is too invested-- #in playing heinous practical jokes on the rest of the cast to dedicate himself to Actually Competing. and heather knows this. #and the only person heather's ever been canonically attracted to is someone who can 'equal' her in terms of strategy so... #though now i've given myself the idea of p!noah allowing heather to 'trick' him into an alliance because he thinks it'd be funny/interestin #playing the part of heather's guileless pawn. she'd quickly catch on to his act though bc she's a smart cookie. #then it'd be a game of Schemer's Chicken to see who calls out the other's 'wilful ignorance' first #it's a good thing this AU is strictly hypothetical because idk how it'd choose between ships. #total drama #psycho!noah au #noaheather #replies

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS (Edmonds, 1975)

This review contains spoilers.

Despite my love of cinema in even its less reputable forms, one genre that I’ve hesitated to dive into is Nazisploitation. Quite frankly, a genre built around milking one of the worst crimes in human history for sordid entertainment value seemed a little too tasteless, even for a wildly undiscriminating viewer such as myself. I’ll admit to even having been bothered by allegedly respectable takes on such material (The Night Porter might be one of my most hated films). Yet, as one does when stuck inside during a raging pandemic with limited ways of keeping oneself occupied, with one’s interest piqued by a viewing of a documentary on the subject (Fascism on a Thread, available on Tubi, the best bang-for-your-buck streaming service in that it’s free and actually has a decent amount of good shit), I figured that perhaps I should give it a chance. (I have previously seen Salon Kitty, although I understand that might be a borderline case with its relatively high production values.) And what better way to get acquainted with the genre than by seeing one of its best known and most notorious entries, Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS? After all, the film opens with text telling us that it’s “based on documented fact” and is dedicated with “ with the hope that these heinous crimes will never happen again.” Perhaps it wouldn’t be as disrespectful as I’d expect?

That sentiment lasts for about as long as the opening text is displayed. We first meet Ilsa as she’s getting it on with a prisoner. After they finish, in a wild overreaction to a lousy lay, she has him castrated in the first of many graphic torture sequences and says she’ll be sending off his dismembered...member to some kind of museum dedicated to Aryan superiority. (Depending on how often she does this, I wonder if she ships them in bulk?) The rest of the movie follows a similar pattern. Lots of admiring nudity of both the female prisoners and the female guards, with Ilsa’s cleavage subjected to an especially loving gaze. Various torture scenes with an undeniable fetishistic element: shaving pubes, insulting the male prisoners’ penis sizes, an electrified dildo. (Less overty fetishistic but still notable: there is a scene of a pressurized chamber containing a busty prisoner played by none other than Russ Meyer regular Uschi Digard.) Ilsa herself is undeniably a dominatrix-type figure, her Nazi uniform practically serving as fetish gear. The atrocities depicted in the film are an extremely objectionable step or two beyond what some might call a good time, posing a kind of challenge to the audience: how low will you sink to enjoy some T&A?

The film does have some sense of arc, driven by two primary developments. One, Ilsa beds an American prisoner who not only is able to bring her to climax but can refrain indefinitely from climaxing himself, which results in her becoming the female equivalent of “whipped”, so to speak. (The two funniest moments in the movie involve the drum-and-fife music that plays after this scene, a cross between “Yankee Doodle Dandy” and “Dixie”, and the shocked reaction of another prisoner upon learning his abilities. The American is also tested later with a threesome.) Two, a visit from a general (during which he is entertained by a naked woman hanging over the table onto a block of ice while he has dinner) who seeks to learn about Ilsa’s progress with her experiments but strongly objects to her “private research” (which doesn’t seem all that different from the rest of her handiwork). At the end of the night, he begs Ilsa for a golden shower, an act which manages to repulse even her (despite, you know, everything she’s done in the movie up to this point). The movie climaxes with a revolt by the prisoners led by the American, featuring some low rent action and a fetishized comeuppance for Ilsa (in lingerie, tied with stockings to her bed), followed immediately by the German army putting down the revolt immediately, a downer ending to an overall pretty dismal affair.

On one hand, Ilsa is undeniably a pretty offensive affair, trying to exploit the Holocaust for schlocky entertainment. On the other hand, it’s pretty hard to really be offended by. The movie, despite the opening text, makes little pretense of dealing with its subject in any serious capacity, meaning that any insult to its real life inspirations doesn’t hold water the way it might in a more serious film about the subject. (The Night Porter filming its concentration camp scenes like softcore is more objectionable than Ilsa doing the same as the former actually expects you to take those scenes seriously while the latter is clearly going for thrills, albeit of an extremely degraded kind.) The film was made fast and on the cheap, shot in under two weeks on the sets of the recently canceled Hogan’s Heroes, but the artless, rudimentary filmmaking gives it a certain stylistic purity. The movie delivers exactly what it promises you, no more, no less, without any attempt to alleviate it with style or class. A certain campy quality results from juxtaposition of the bargain basement production values with the slipping German accents of the cast, so that the movie plays like a sketch comedy where the jokes have been replaced by war crimes. If you think the worst thing a movie can be is boring, this certainly isn’t guilty of that.

And it must be said that as Ilsa, Dyanne Thorne is quite watchable. She definitely looks the part, having landed the role after she showed up to the audition dressed in her uniform from her day job as a chauffeur. She plays the character through enthusiastic teeth gnashing and grimacing, doing justice to her character’s dominating and sadistic qualities. (I understand the director Don Edmonds thought the script was the “worst piece of shit [he] ever read.” If she had a similar low opinion of the project, it doesn’t come off in her performance.) She figured heavily as a talking head in Fascism on a Thread, and from her interviews she comes off as a sweet lady who I’m glad got this moment in the spotlight. I understand she reprised the role in a few sequels (one of which was directed by Jess Franco) which mostly sound less morally objectionable than this one, and I can’t say I’ve ruled out seeing them at some point.

#film #movie review #ilsa she wolf of the ss #don edmonds