#in the words of Kathleen Kelly ‘thank you dear void’

[itspileofgoodthings]

the fact that I have to make decisions and choices completely on my own and no one can make them for me is absolutely terrifying and disgusting and painful and I have never been more aware of it than this year.

#cannot explain the level of heartbreak I feel at every support I have ever leaned on being ripped away from me #juuust enough so I cannot lean on it with my whole weight #so that I have to trust myself #like. absolutely everything in me is in revolt against that #this is so dramatic!!! and sounds ridiculous!!! and all that is happening is I am being forced to grow up #and move out of comfort zones and be an adult who trusts her own judgment #and yet I feel the most profound grief #I feel like some version of me has died and will never come back #and it is just …. SHATTERING #and it makes me cry #sorry it’s just 3:00 in the morning and I’ve woken up and can’t sleep #so this is me screaming into the void for one second #in the words of Kathleen Kelly ‘thank you dear void’