#it's also so annoying that terfs have like. co-opted femininity.

[lettersiarrange]

hey i'm the one who asked if you were a terf. I apologize for making it seem like an accusation, I've seen you reblog trans friendly stuff so I was confused but I shouldn't have worded it like that. I'm also not an expert with terf dogwhistles and stuff, but I do have shinigami eyes so the blog was highlighted in red. the blog is femmesandhoney and you reblogged their post from radgalacticacrew (this one is not highlighted).

And yeah, I get it, it's not like every single one of their posts are hateful bullshit, so you couldn't have known and no one combs through every blog they reblog from. I made a hasty judgment for something obvious to me and not to you (thanks to shinigami eyes) when I could just have given you a heads-up that you reblogged a terf. Again, sorry about that !

No worries. I appreciate the heads up that I was (unintentionally) engaging with terfs and the blogs in question so I can block them. I definitely don't want to come off as being at all affiliated with terfs so I'm glad to know I may have accidentally been giving that impression so I can fix it. I'm hoping to hunt down whatever secret terf I'm following so tumblr will stop reccomending me their innocuous-on-the-surface-but-with-terfy-undertones likes. In the meantime tho I'll block the blogs you pointed out so I don't make that mistake again.

I *have* heard of shingami eyes and DO think it's a cool idea, but I guess I'm also a little hesitant to do it myself. This kind of like "the computer/algorithm/program tells you who's Problematic" thing just feels a bit too close to, like, McCarthyism for me? I don't know how things get flagged and if they go through human review and what the guidelines are (which, to be fair, I might be able to find out, I haven't looked), but I always just feel like I'd rather personally see someone being shitty and suspicious and react to that than be informed by someone else/a program that someone is a Suspicious Person. But at the same time, clearly it's not like the program auto-blocks anyone flagged, it's just a heads up so you can do your own investigating, so I get it. I'm just not sure it's my vibe. But also my current strategy isn't 100% effective so it may be worth considering additional tools. 🤷‍♀️ something for me to think abt for sure.

#asks #don't worry op i wasn't mad i was just embarassed to have reblogged from terfs and a bit freaked out abt giving the impression of being one #and i guess like Scarred from 2012 tumblr discourse where admitting you don't Vet The Morality of every blog you touch- #-gets you like Perma-Cancelled #i appreciate you being cool abt it #we're all doing our best lol #it's also so annoying that terfs have like. co-opted femininity. #like why is every blog that celebrates being a woman or liking feminine things like a secret terf blog #tf. what if i think womanhood is cool AND i think trans people deserve rights. what then. #anyway i think we should take back femininity from terfs. I'm sick of them having a monopoly on being pro-woman and pro-femininity #(because they're not even pro woman!! that's like half the problem!!) #anyway. i will think of some alternative strategies for identifying terfs and consider shingami eyes #because i know terfs intentionally love to appear innocuous and non-terfy in order to lure people in #as part of their Strategy #so i gotta figure out a better way to sidestep that

[blackwoolncrown]

bubblegum-pwussay replied to your post “bubblegum-pwussay replied to your post “are u a terf? u reblogged...”

I honestly dont think some of these people even know what a terf really means its like a new buzzword for them. Because Ive been called a terf before because I said I wish didnt deal with a period and I was discussing my body.

Yeah...and it gets tiring bc it starts to feel like you shouldn’t talk about certain issues like that without being hyperspecific linguistically, just to avoid problems.

BUT...I still sympathize and kind of get it. To me it’s kind of like prodding a nonblack person about their language if it seems dubious, because as a black person you’re already so inundated with racism and you’re hypervigilant and really just for your own sake want to make sure. And in such a situation we’d expect that an allied nonblack person would defer to making us, as victims of racism, heard and comfortable rather than finding our need for reassurance to be a nuisance or something.

Or like after the first wave of trumpish-nazism when talking with people who didn’t seem firmly enough on the right side of history, even if they weren’t explicitly like “I think x group of people are inhuman” we could get a vibe and be like ‘this person is too close to being a nazi sympathizer, they might as well be a nazi’.

So similarly I can get how if you’re trans and literally the victim of transphobia from all types of people, and if many of these people used ‘female biology’ as a weapon against them, how you’d be hyper attuned to see that language as a threat but also well within your rights  to seek confirmation that someone was an ally rather than someone who saw your issue as a throwaway nuisance. Like white people who get mad about being called racist more than they get mad about racism- if they’re more angry about the accusation than the issue they probably aren’t an ally.

We must remain sensitive to the position transphobia puts trans people in, and all annoyances and tumblr bullshit aside it’s really important that they get the recognition and care they deserve. As a ‘woman’ I find it annoying how much terfs have been allowed to co-opt conversations about toxic masculinity and sexism in porn or social issues around reproductivity and bodies, but as a  black person, an nb person, as a masculine-feminine person, and above all as a human, I empathize with the victims more than find annoyance at the discussion- though this complication is why I often withdraw. At worst the ppl sending the ‘are you a terf’ messages are being hypervigilant and like...I’m sure one can guess why.

#bubblegum-pwussay