#it's just like... random strangers and most extended family im like yes i am :) normal :)

[hell0mega]

i am also interested in the pronoun question you asked, because i use they/she as i prefer they/them and find she/her is fine but for me personally id rather people used they/them for me than switching it up. i think part of it is that in my own head i use both for myself but i’m not a massive fan of other people using she/her if that makes any sense? but then also some people have just assumed i use he/him for some reason and i haven’t corrected them so idk. hope you get some other answers!

this is exactly why i asked that question because I'm all for only displaying the pronouns you want people to use for you. for a long time i was "any pronouns" or "they/he/she" (in order of preference) but over time i said you know what, fuck it. they/them makes me the happiest so that's what I'm demanding from people

i will gender myself and still use binary pronouns to refer to myself sometimes and it doesn't typically cause dysphoria (cuz i know what I'm talking about lol) I'm also very pro-gender and people might describe me as fluid if i really explained my feelings but i like nonbinary the best as a label and gender neutral terms cause the most euphoria. so i go with that

i am still seen as binary in real life, I'm not out to everyone, and i decided it was more trouble than it's worth at this point to tell my school and future workplaces to use my chosen names and pronouns. so I'm kinda cosplaying as a cis person day to day, and i recognize that privilege

but if you really prefer one over the other, then just ask for that. you don't have to tell everyone in your life and you can have different requests and expectations for each corner you inhabit. i wouldn't put she as an option if you, in your own words, "rather people use they/them" and you're "not a massive fan of people using she/her." then your pronouns are they/them!! demand that if that's what makes you happy!

trust me i spent literally 7 years doubting myself over my identity. i felt like i was faking it or wasn't queer enough to demand that change from others. FOR SEVEN YEARS. AS AN ADULT. as soon as i realized nothing matters and i should just do what i want it opened me up to having the best time ever. I'm a girl I'm a guy I'm a mom I'm an old man. I'm all I'm nothing.

#pro tip you don't have to be nonbinary to use they/them pronouns #nothing matters!!!!!! do what makes you feel good!!! #edit: i should clarify that my irl friends and anyone i meet who is cool i am enby with chosen names #it's just like... random strangers and most extended family im like yes i am :) normal :)

[ai-martino]

The sun rises calmly and so the waves. While everyone is brewing coffee I get to walk quickly on the seashore, with the comfort of waves and  coffee aroma I am able to find peace. I am still in shock of how my life is going, how I survive everyday, how I endure this heavy heart but God is just so good  for giving me such an extra-ordinary strenght. I  stepped on the water to feel how refreshing it is while floating with the waves, how I wish I could live like this everyday, far from cruel environment.

All of my colleagues are busy  talking about random topics. I silently listen to them and unknowingly giggles with some of their jokes. Giggling  is not my typical thing  so everytime I do, everyone will surely throw a surprise look.  One of my classmates invites me for a sandbar party tonight, though I am not into this kind of stuff  but I wanted to try, so I gave her a nod.

After an hour of random talks and coffee, our coordinator Mrs. Punsalan called us to start the retreat, it was an activity hosted by  "An Open Door Foundation Inc." a foundation where I am volunteering as an art teacher.

I finished Mass Communication course, its surprisingly ironic to what I really am so I pursue journalism, I  focused more on writing, admittedly, I had written various novels and donated all the proceeds to  various foundations where I grew up.

Yes! I was a foundling, I grew up without a family. When sister Jelli saw me at the street, I was barefooted, ripped clothes, devastated face, bruises and wounds caused me chills and I  almost see heaven that time. So  I kinda' hate this kind of activity especially when being asked to think of  something most unforgettable.

It doesn't ease me, it hurts me even more.

The retreat is getting into a deep emotions. Some of them are crying while hugging each other, some are yelling for forgiveness  I stayed in silence and turn a stare at nowhere. I have no one to apologize to because no one will forgive, I have no one to forgive because no one apologizes, perhaps I cannot cry  because I  am empty.

I waited for the retreat to be over and everyone to come out. I wanted to leave the room last. No particular reason, I just wanted to be alone.  I stayed at the retreat room for a couple of hours and take the opportunity to write.

While enjoying my writing someone bumped on the door. It is really strong that it almost breaks. I hurriedly stood up to see who was bumping.. my eyes almost came out to see a tall-beardy-hunk man in a white sando and a boxer! With a glass of whisky on his hand Holy shit!! He really has a huge balls. I pushed him away , immediately close the door and lean for a second with eyeballs still bulging, I  am still in shock with those things. So I take a deep breath before I open the door again to check if he is still there.

*guy murmurs*

In a most decent and prim act I checked on him, wakes him up but gain no response, I slowly grab the glass of whisky from his hand and inspect whether he has a phone or an identity card to know his name, but everytime I turn a look at the bottom I am so bothered of that huge thing! I dunno but some part of my mind is telling me to touch it but I really can't!, the form is quiet scary. I grab his wrist to check his pulse and it seems normal, maybe he just passed out due to excessive alcohol intake.

I can't carry him in, I have been calling Shey my bestfriend but she's not attending calls, there were no telephone at the retreat room and the reception area is quiet far  so I left him outside and I think he deserves it, I hope when he wakes up he will learn self-control.

But wait! Ain't that evil as you think, don't worry guys I left the door open so he can get inside if he gain consciousness.

* The guy groans, while crawling inside*

I almost jumped on my feet with that groan! I can see him crawl,he's really crazy, he crawls like a zombie! I hide under the table  trying not to look at him and take small steps to escape..

" So, you are leaving again?"

I freeze when he suddenly speaks, he get up from the floor and walk towards me, my toes are trembling as he look at me like a serial killer, his drunk eyes are really scary, he come very close that our nose are almost touching, I can smell the alcohol in his breath that almost caused me to throw out.

With a shaking hands I pushed him away I haven't had a strong muscles to knock him down but a little space is enough to do an  escape. He stared at me and he was crying, then he turn back and leads me to the door. I run as fast as I could. I was about to call the police to report him abusive but the appearance of  sadness on his face  melts my heart; and all that had happen that morning remain a secret.

The breezing touch of sand and waves gradually calm my heart as I convey myself in the seashore. Playing with the sand and scattered seashells are also my hobby. The sun is about to touch the horizon so I sat down to watch the sunset and take a picture.

" I can take you a picture, if you want Ma'am"

A gentle guy offers me a help to catch the beautiful sunset view for a pic. Without a second thought, I agreed.

" Thank you so much......?"

"I'm Nix , a resident photographer of this resort, if you don't mind may I know your name Ma'am?"

" Alodia"

" Nice to meet you Ma'am Alodia"

" You can call me my name, no need to attach "Ma'am" on it, its too formal and it makes me feel old."

His face blushes after saying him such words. I don't intend to offend nor intimidate   so I offer him a handshake which he accepts politely.

" A---lodia, Im actually strolling around, looking fo a scenematic view to capture, if you are free, can you join me?"

I don't think  i have an  idea to refuse, so I join him and we stroll around the resort. he introduced to me every corner of every  places of the resort, he's very entertaining that he never allows a single moment to  be unuseful. 

He handed  me his camera and encourage me to try to capture a scene of the setting sun. Im a little shy to try because I don't really have a skill on photography but he seems very persistent that I can't disagree.

It was the first time I had a long conversation with a stranger like being so generous of my laughters and time, I don't know but I am so relieved when I am with him.

We almost didn't notice that its merely dinner, I'm starting to worry because I didn't get to inform Shey and Mrs. Punzalan about what I am doing, since I haven't join them for an activity after the retreat. I bade goodbye to Nix and extend my appreciation of a free tour and entertainment.

He walked me on the way to our Villa, my colleagues are there, preparing for dinner. Shey, run towards me and gave a tight hug. She paused for awhile when she saw Nix behind me, I can see in her eyes that she's concluding a controversial thoughts about me and Nix, so I speak ahead before she was able to tell controversies.

In a very manly manner, Nix offer a handshake to shey and Introduce himself. Shey has a little shyness yet a huge interest with him, ( i can tell because she has that awkward mannerism of curling and flipping her hair everytime she sees a handsome man) well they're a good match.

I left them for awhile and head straight to an outdoor kitchen where the foods are being prepared. Some of my colleagues are murmuring while staring at Shey and Nix

Im a little curios why but I don't bother to ask , instead I reminded them for a sandbar party tonight.

#my writing #thriller #mystery series #stories

[taehyung-the-baehyung]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by: @bangbangbangtanx

Sit back and relax, fam. This is a long one....

name: kavya blood type: B+ nickname(s): kav, kavs, kayak r/s: married to kim taehyung (single and always have been rip me) zodiac sign: leo 🦁 pronouns: she/her/hers favorite tv shows: F.R.I.E.N.D.S, White Collar, Merlin, Sherlock, Grey’s Anatomy, Gossip Girl long or short hair: long hair; i’ve never cut my hair more than 2 inches cause i always get scared  height: 5′4″ (~163cm) do you have a crush on someone: kim taehyung, jackson wang, and bang yongguk 😁 what do you like about yourself: i self-reflect a lot so i’m pretty much always in tune with my emotions and thoughts; i usually can figure out why i feel a certain way or did a certain something and quickly fix or just simply understand it and i think it helps in situations like social drama/conflicts, etc. right or left handed: left list of three favourite colors: purple, mint/teal, periwinkle

right now: eating: nothing  drinking: water i’m about to: go to the gym listening to: Day6′s “I’m Serious” kids: i’m only 18 fam, but one day, hopefully!  get married: it’s down the line, no rush career: i’m in school for a BBA (bachelor in business administration) and then i’ll go to grad school to get an MBA concentrated in human resources 

most recent: drink: tropical green iced tea phone call: my dad to tell him where the best place to was park the car was to meet me for lunch at the campus dining hall song you listened to: Got7′s “Never Ever”

have you ever: dated someone twice: i’ve never dated anyone been cheated on: before BTS i used to be super obsessed with Tom Hiddleston and then when he started dating Taylor the Snake i felt betrayed kissed someone and regretted it: i have no experience in this life rip lost someone special: i had to prioritize my pride and self-respect and stopped talking to someone who was(and maybe still is?) really important to me and it’s still sort of a bitter wound been depressed: after i saw bangtan live in real life in person physically like actually in front of me and then i had to pretend i was okay and a normal functioning human being been drunk and thrown up: nah i’ve gotten tipsy at best but then i didn’t want to spend more money on shitty frat mix alcohol kissed a stranger: nope had glasses or contacts: glasses  had sex on the first date: again, never dated / been on a date with anyone broken someone’s heart: this guy in my junior year of high school was suuuuper into me and got really clingy (and touchy- big no no) and i may or may not have gotten spooked and ghosted him over the summer and then i texted him the day before our first day of senior year and was like im so sorry but im not into you TLDR; maybe? turned someone down: see above cried when someone died: i cry whenever other people cry so absolutely fallen for a friend: what?who?me?pssht!no.wdym.lol (yes)

in the last year have you: made a new friend: yesss fallen out of love: i’ve only ever been in love with kim taehyung and how dare you question my love for him laughed until you cried: i do this frequently met someone who changed you: doesn’t everyone you meet change you?  found out who your true friends were: always the hard way found out someone was talking about you: literally just had the biggest (and pettiest) drama of my life because of this and it has happened to me numerous times in high school as well RIPME kissed someone on your fb list: nada

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs shorter or taller: taller romantic or spontaneous: both, dont make me choose pls sensitive or loud: sensitive hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker but tbh i am the latter

first: best friend: my mom and her friend were pregnant at the same time and my best friend is still that other little beb surgery: when i was 9 i got my retinal hole lasered sport i joined: ice skating! but then i stopped and i wish i didn’t :(  vacation: my entire life, my parents told me that we’d never go to disneyland cause i “already went” (when i was 3 months old) 

do you believe in: yourself: not always, but often enough? miracles: bangtan exists despite the darkness and ugliness of this world so like love at first sight: no but i’m inclined to believe in soulmates (but i don’t believe that we have only one) heaven: okay but have you ever been to a Coldstone creamery?

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: i’m actually one of those weird people who won’t accept your friend request unless we’re ACTUALLY friends irl / have had decent conversations at the very least do you have any pets: nope; i’ve always wanted a bunny but their cages smell  do you want to change your name: never! what did you do for your last birthday: my entire family + extended family (~30-40 people) surprised me and we had a lot of food  what time did you wake up today: i woke up at like 8 but i didn’t get out of bed until 10 what were you doing last night at midnight: watching 13 Reasons Why something you can’t wait for: the semester to end last time you saw your mom: about three hours ago what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i have so many filters up in my head and it often prevents me from being fun; i’m too maternal for my own good and i need to let loose  have you ever talked to a person named tom: this is so random lol but yes what’s getting on your nerves: i have a pile of laundry that i need to fold but i don’t want to fold it

tagging: @dyeob @madwomancrazylady @yeppeosseo @jinxkook @hot-chocolatae @kimbtstaehyung and anyone else who wants to do it; but also i 100% feel you if you don’t want to do something this long, so as per usual, NO PRESSURE!

#kavya says