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survivordivergent · 7 years

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EPISODE 14 - “FROM CHARLIE TO MICHELE.” - MELISSA

What. How. Why. HOW.

That instant vote wasn't entirely unexpected, but the net result sure was. I knew I was in danger, and also that there was no way anyone would let me win this comp. So I did the best I could – I traded everyone whatever they needed, whenever they wanted it, in the hopes that it might show I was willing to work with anyone. I played up the frustration at Jill's "blackmail" attempts (which were admittedly probably fairly transparent.) I (hopefully) made people laugh so they'd think of me as someone worth keeping around, even though it's probably way too late to be thinking in that way.

Put simply, I put all my eggs in the Melissa and Jill basket. And hoped they'd be willing to go to rocks for me. I thought we were gunning for Lake, and that we MIGHT be able to get Geo and/or Lucy on board. But as I started throwing out the name around 10:55, Melissa made a great point. We didn't need a clean vote. We needed the vote that gives us the path of least resistance to the end. And that meant Lucy. By the time Jill gets back to me, it's now about 10:58. So I'm thinking it's a done deal, a tie, and a revote.

And then, miracle of miracles. Lake reopens the line of conversation between us! I was stunned. And I severely underestimated him. He told me straight up that Lucy and Geo were trying to get him to flip on me, but that he wouldn't. Lake, the dude who I had been trying to get out for the past three rounds. Who I hadn't chatted with one-on-one since January 21. Who voted against me last round and who had an open spat with my then-best ally Payton. That Lake.

I was floored. I was stunned. But most importantly... I was safe. I am safe. And if Melissa and Jill are as honest about this alliance as I am, we've got majority going forward. And barring a fluke immunity win from Geo or Lake at F4, or perhaps the realization that they shouldn't let me get to the end, we're in the final three.

Wow.

Okay so I'm kind of freaking out and need some advice but there's no one I can talk to about it because it's a freaking alias game and also one of my best sounding boards for working out games got voted out two rounds ago when I was the swing vote so WHOOPS but anyway you're gonna be my sounding board thank you.

So long story short, I think there's a way that I could win. I think there's a chance I beat Lake and Geo. Maybe not Geo, it's this whole gray area because the jury is 1/2 his allies, but he's blundered through the game, never had a power, never really had a footing in the merge, he's been wrong on half the merge votes, I know he's had good conversations with people, there's some shit about a cucumber I will never understand nor would I want to. But I feel like I could beat him. You know who I can't beat? Jill and Ed. I had a bit of a gamer awakening when I was voted out. I was enjoying my goat edit too much and got complacent. I'm acting now but it would be too little too late, I can't beat either of them. Ed has that whole golden child edit going, and I've literally been a lesser version of Jill all season, same strategy, same main alliance, but 80% less social. I don't beat them. And that can be okay. I really like both of them as people, they'd be a delight to add to the winner's circle, I don't have to be playing this particular season to win. I don't really think I've played a winning game, if I happen to take it, this wouldn't be one like Congo or Westeros that I'd be 100% satisfied with. But I always tell myself if there's still a way to win, and I don't take it, then why am I playing?

I think I'm going to try slowly pushing into Jill's mind that I'm totally comfortable going to the end with her and Ed, but that Ed could very easily beat her. Lake, Geo, and Lucy have been saying the same things but I think I'm the one who can really make her believe it. She HAS to feel like this is not my move at all, this is her idea, this is her plan, this is for her win. As badass as it would be to pull together an Abnegation final three voting bloc right now, it would not work. Jill has to be on board with voting out Ed (something I'm still not entirely sure I want to do but for the sake of discussion that's irrelevant) and then we'd have to go for it. Then I would have to win F4 immunity, figure out who Jill is voting for (probably Geo), and see if that person wants to force a tie with me, and have them beat Jill at fire. It's a HUGE task. There are a lot of moving pieces, and almost none of them involve me moving them. They all have to be self-contained little nudges. Just like I was never the first to say Eliza had to go, just like I was never the first to say Payton had to go. This is nearly impossible to pull off cleanly, and at LEAST Jill is going to be so mad at me at firemaking if it gets to that point. If I can do this, I know exactly what I'll say in my opening statement in the end. I could wordsmith the fuck out of this, I could snatch the win, a win that I don't deserve but that I will take.

If I vote Geo out next, then 1. I'll be happy with anyone who wins, 2. I'll officially be the last former winner standing which is at least a really nice feather I can put in my cap (I might already be that but we don't know who Geo is, if he's like Seamus or something I might not be yet), but 3. I will not win because either Ed, Jill, or both will be in finals.

Since this is probably the final episode and my boot this round, I thought why not make a confessional recapping my game?

It was an uphill battle trying to get a grip of the game. It was difficult handling the aliias twist, especially with the way other players were handling the situation, being blunt about the ordeal.

On Abnegation, I did my best in challenges, helping out however I could, however, I didn't form strong bonds with my tribemates.

Six was a change of pace, I found myself in the majority in the alliance of me, Dani, Lucy, Payton, and Ed, the Active Trust Cluster. It became an inactive wasteland as former Abnegation member Carolanne was voted out, followed by El.

I was looking for the Amity idol, the worst alternative as it was split in two and difficult to find. Even though I was in the alliance, I was still relatively quiet, which got worse during the break where I talked to no one at all.The break changed the dynamics of the game. Dani came to me and spilled the tea. Trust was falling between the trust cluster.

It was double tribal and me and Dani decided to blindside the biggest threat, Ed, and turning on the alliance. Dani played her idol on Peter,and me and Dani's vote for Ed blindsided everyone. This proved to be costly for us as it was a fraud, it was the Aussie Swap, Ed was voted to the other tribe and took Payton and Peter with him, and Dani wasted her idol. Joining me, Dani, Lucy, and Percy were Lake (my former Abnegationist), Kyle, and RIley.

I was once again quiet, as Percy was being targeted and Dani was bonding with the Four's. We lose the challenge and the vote's between Percy and Riley, somebody who was probably going to be medevaced. I thought, that's stupid and we could lose two Four's in one night if RIley self-voted and switched the vote between Percy and Kyle, Four and Six's targets respectively, as I didn't want to vote out someone I had a bond with in Lake. Dani stupidly switched and voted out Percy instead and I lost my trust in Dani, but became even tighter with Lucy.

There was an auction and I bought the challenge advantage as I wanted to save me and Lucy from being voted out. It turned out to be individual because there was an actual double tribal. My advantage went to waste because Riley did in fact get medevaced and Peter was voted out.

We make the merge and it's: Me, Dani, Lucy, Payton, and Ed Lake, Kyle, Eliza, Jill, Otto, and Melissa (former Abnegationist)

I name the tribe Salis (a mistake) and I also win immunity that round in Touchy Subjects. The whole game I wanted to be loyal to the people I'm with, and that was Six, specifically Lucy, Payton, and Dani. Unfortunately, the new Four tribe was closer and with animosity towards Dani, Dani was voted out instead of Lake.

Afterwards, even though I did try to work with Otto to try and change the game, with Lucy, we decided it was best to stick with the majority and vote out Kyle and Otto. I've also been talking to more people and forming bonds with Payton, Jill, and Eliza.

Payton was worried about her position in her alliance with the Four's and decided to change the game with the help of her half of the idol and Lucy's, to form the Amity idol. With Ed's help, we were able to blindside Melissa, negating the votes for Lucy, however, the round was reset by an advantage and Melissa was saved. Now mad, Payton was voted out by the alliance after again negating Lucy's votes, unfortunately, after the twist screwed her over.

At this point, my bonds with people have been pretty good, proving to be really beneficial to me as Jill, the player with the most control, decided to blindside the biggest threat and ally, Eliza instead.

We play in fun challenges, but after Jill wins immunity, it's revealed to be an instant tribal with only 15 minutes to decide. I scramble to try and vote out Lake, who already hates me at this point, but numbers weren't on my side and my closest ally was being targeted instead. After telling me Lake can vote with us to get out Ed, I vote with her but it was a scam as Lake lied to Lucy and she was voted out. I did not want to vote for Ed as it will be detrimental in our relationship moving forward.

My overall game has been built around being likable, and trying my hardest even when I was considering quitting in the beginning. I wanted to be loyal to people and I did achieve that with Lucy, Payton, and Dani. My relationships even when I thought they sucked, were able to carry me this far with no votes against me. I've been an underdog since the start and I've made it here with a pretty good chance of winning in my opinion. I'm a jury threat and I think making to FTC and proving my case will only benefit me even more. Although I don't think I will make it there, I would like to as this will then become my best placement ever, even if I do lose.

My plan going forward is to get Lake out. I revealed to Jill about him trying to get an Abnegation contingent as we have majority now, but I don't personally want that. I also want to try and get her thinking to vote out people who would vote for her in the end. If this works, I'll be so happy and then I want to get Ed out next as it will be easier to sell as a boot instead of Jill or Melissa and he is a jury threat.

We'll see how this goes, it's been a fun season either way and I love the hosts so much for the experience. <3 Jenna and Jenn and Kait as well.

That was long as fuck.

*Later*

5 seconds, 5 seconds and I was away from winning immunity. I needed it, the only way I could stay is if I won honestly. I need to convince people to vote out Lake, they're just going to take him to the end. If not, Ed cause he has a good chance at beating everybody.

The only person who deserves to win besides me is Jill. I a hundred percent believe that. She's done a good job at getting herself here and she's played a really good game. If me and Jill make the end together, I would honestly not mind losing to her. i mean, I like her even if she may not like me or pretends to.

If they vote out me instead of Geo they're stupid.

I love the hosts, I really really do. But the fact that people being brought back after being voted out dictated the season is the stupidest thing ever.

I need to become a force to be reckoned with in this last challenge. Give myself something to look good in front of the jury.

Ed has to go. That's really the only option and I hope whether I win or not that the girls will see that.

So clearly, I chose the path where I lose but my friends win, and that's fine with me. Tbh the chance never came up because I needed the idea to not REALLY come from me so I still had a shot at Ed's jury vote. I was expecting a chance to flip it on Ed to come from Lake or Geo so I could slowly feed the idea that Ed might win into Jill's head from that, but they seemed perfectly content to go for each other and I'm like damn okay boys, eat each other, no final three Abnegation, you do you, I'm sitting pretty with immunity. So now it sounds like Jill and I are in the finals and either Ed or Lake will be there with us, it'll be cute as fuck, and I'll just have a bland ass FTC performance because I didn't do much of anything in the game and the jury has no idea who I am as a player. I hope Jill takes it, the bitch played to win. Oh and also I see you, hosts, with your hints that this might keep going to a final two. Honestlyyyyyy don't. Just don't do it. It's not right. Although tbqh if it did happen, I would 100% Richard Hatch the fuck out of it like "You both need to take me to win, don't be like Woo and cut the goat at final three" and I'd take a nap. I don't need to be making that choice.

I am really hoping the hosts are just messing with us and that this is in fact a final 3, but also this seems too simple to be a final immunity challenge.....I am not ready for this jelly. I did not plan an F2 scenario out so idk how this will work. Also if I don't win immunity at F3 I don't know for sure that I will make it there. I think for sure I can make F3 if Lake and Ed are not teaming up. And if they are hopefully it isn't against me. I made it this far and it would really suck to not make it through to the end

Jill won immunity. Which is fine. But I really wanted to win for once. I studied that wiki :P

Anyways the good thing is Ed didn't win. They better smarten up and vote him out because he will win this whole game. I would vote for him.

I'm being very bold in pointing this out to Melissa and Jill. I also made a final 2 with Melissa just in case.

I don't think I'm a complete goat in this game but hopefully Melissa and Jill see me that way.

I have promised to both Ed and Lake F3 with Melissa and myself. I have been talking to Ed about going to the end together early on in merge, and once Eliza was out of the picture it was solidified that it would be Melissa, him, and myself. We never mentioned how we would get there or who we would take with us and I think waiting for Eliza to want to flip on Ed and taking that opportunity to take out Eliza instead was a good move. Eliza would have been hard to beat in the end. Building up this trust with Ed for so long has been the game plan. I originally was intending to bring Ed to the end with Melissa, which we kinda solidified as an F3 once Eliza was out, and Lake would go now. I would say at F5 tribal is when I decided that Lake would be #3 to Melissa and myself.

This situation of not knowing if it is F2 or F3 really is the reason why. With an F2, Melissa or I have the best chance at winning immunity at F3 and we can take each other over Lake. If Ed were here, it would probably be between Ed or Melissa for the win. I may have a chance because recently I have been performing a bit better than usual. It all depends on what the challenge could be. Basically I am afraid of Ed winning in the end and choosing Melissa over me because I would do the same thing to him. If this really is an F2 then this will definitely be the right decision. If this is an F3 then getting rid of Ed now may lose me his vote in the end, but from what people told me on their way out of this game Ed was standing in my way for the win and I am going to be a bit selfish here. I would lowkey be so ALIVE if Ed and Lake teamed up and made a move to tie the vote between Ed and Melissa. It would be an exciting tribal. But I also hope this just goes as planned. Sorry about the murder Ed, I felt I had to do it

Oh, and again: Fuck you, Lucy

surprise it's me muahahaha - Owen

#iwillbecomesomethingelse

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survivordivergent · 7 years

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EPISODE 13 - “PLAYED HIS IDIO.” - LAKE

That didn't go as planned.

My queen Eliza was blindsided. The one person who I truly trusted in this game.

At least ed played his idio but I still think he has one more.

Now I'm forced to find new roads in this game. I've started talking to everyone except Ed. I feel like I won't be the next to go but I'm not really sure who I want to work with at this point. Maybe I can win the next immunity.

I know the numbers say otherwise, but that wasn't a wasted idol play. It gave me exactly what I needed. Proof that people are taking a shot at me, without the danger of possibly having one person flip over. But, damn, it says a lot about Jill's social ties and mine that people were willing to take out Eliza (admittedly an insanely strong competitor and a social threat in a game where social has been somewhat lacking) over Ed (an insanely strong competitor who can't help but keep winning things.)

I'm also very good at BGO, so I'm optimistic for tonight. I didn't even use my best trick last night in that practice round with Geo and Jenna – buying one of those pogo sticks that breaks after a bit, waiting until I'm close to the end, then pogoing away when nobody notices.

Back to the vote, I'm a bit surprised that Lucy tried that. And a bit surprised that Jill and Melissa sided with me over Eliza. Insanely thankful, don't get me wrong. But surprised. Eliza trying to blindside me wasn't a shock, though. She's such a tuned in player. And she was probably asking herself the same question I'd ask in her shoes... if not now, when? But realistically, I don't see a situation where I wasn't playing that idol. I've seen greed turn to regret far too many times to risk it.

So where does that leave this tribe? In a word, fractured. The 'voting blocs' (hi, Stephen Fishbach!) this time around were me/Melissa/Geo/Jill vs. Lucy/Lake/Eliza (RIP). Those are some very funky blocs that I would never have expected. But I think this bodes well? Me/Melissa/Jill are still on the same page. And I knew I was right not to trust Lake. He's next to go if I have my way. Forget jury threat or jury management or being a goat – he just straight up annoys me.

I do think I need to win out now, though. Without the idol, I'm vulnerable. And I don't know that Jill or Melissa or Geo could resist taking another shot. If even one flips on me, I think I'm toast.

So last night we blindsided Eliza. While trying to figure out to vote out I was talking to Ed. And I said out of Lake, Geo, and Lucy I wanted to vote out Lake because he was really close to Eliza and i did not like that because I was afraid of Eliza choosing Lake over me in the future. Then I go and talk to Lake and he mentions that Lucy talked about voting out Ed and it got me thinking about a blindside. Voting out Lake isn't much of a big move because Lake hasn't been a big player so far. I literally have not been able to stop thinking about when Otto said he will 100% vote for Eliza to win in the end. Because I would too. If I honored the F3 of Eliza, Melissa, and myself then Eliza would most definitely take home the win. I feel like if I were to go to the end with anyone but her there would be an actual chance of me winning and not just clearly losing to Eliza.

So from here I start working on getting votes for Eliza. Melissa has been my #1 from the beginning of merge and she was down for it immediately which was great and easy. What was fortunate for getting Geo is that his name was the name going around before Ed was the target. to play this vote I decided full disclosure was the best method. I tell Geo that his name is the one going around but I do not want to vote him out because me and him talk a good amount recently and it's quite fun. He hadn't heard much about the vote so he was appreciative of me telling him what is going on. I then just keep him updated of who would be into voting that way and that Eliza later comes to me to try and vote out Ed to let him know he is not in danger anymore.

With Ed, I mention voting out Eliza to make a move and he is quick to agree to it. Later telling him that Eliza was flipping the vote to vote for him really sealed the deal. What was even better is that this then caused Ed to play his idol. And now that is gone and I am very happy there is one thing less to worry about at F5 tribal. Now Eliza is gone, we are at F6, and I hope I can make it to the end with Melissa and Ed.

Me honestly considering flipping on Jill and Ed to get all three Abnegations into the finals just for the laugh of it all? More likely than you think. If I'm not going to win the game (and let's be real, I'm not going to win the game), why not do something stupid but kind of iconic? I hated that starting tribe so much but look at us now. Flopping only marginally less than the rest. We did that.

FUCK LAKE I DIDN'T WANT TO VOTE FOR ED

RIP MY GIRL LUCY <3 MY ONE LOYAL ALLY, MY FRIEND, MY COMPANION

I've made it to final five with no votes against me, but now im going to be voted out and it's going to really suck

Whew what a wild time!!

So in immunity I kind of threw it to Jill because I knew Jill or Melissa winning would keep more options open and the target off my back.

We were told it was an instant tribal and had 15 mins to decide the vote. I kind of knew right away it would be Lucy and didn't really know what to do to change it.

Lucy messaged me saying they have Geo to vote Ed and asked me to tie it and Jill would flip on the revote.

I really thought about changing my vote but ultimately didn't thinkGeo would actually vote ed. It turns out Geo did vote Ed so I could have tied it but Jill really would have needed to flip for it to make it work because I was not gonna go to rocks against Melissa and geo. not worth it.

So I won immunity finally! My first challenge win of merge!! then we have an instant tribal, which was WILD! I have made relationships with everyone left and I am in a good position with all of them. I have been with Melissa since the start of merge and i do not see us turning on each other. Lake tells me he wants to go to the end with me. I have repeatedly saved Ed and warned him so I think he is down to go with me as well. Geo and i have been talking a lot recently and I am hoping that he would want to go to the end with me. During the scrambling for the instant tribal Lucy was saying how Ed has the best chance to win and I would do a lot better next to her. Everyone keeps telling me I have a better shot next to them instead of Ed. I really can't tell if people actually think I will win and they just want me to bring them so they can say they made it to the end OR if it is just their ploy to get Ed out of their way and then know how to make their case to win with him gone.

The fact that multiple people have told me that Ed will win but I have a better shot if he is gone makes me start to believe it. But also if I vote out Ed I could lose his vote at the end as well and maybe that is enough to hand the win to one of the people "who I will win easily next to"

At this point in the game everyone is making me think it is between me or Ed to win and I just need Ed out of my way to do it. And I just don't want to believe that because I wouldn't discount anyone in this F5 right now. Lake was such a target, just the lesser of two evils, for literally almost every merge round. He has been doing a good job and showed his loyalty to the right people (me) when he needed to and now I think of him as an actual ally. Before I couldn't wait to get rid of him and now he has helped me so much that I am thankful. I could make the case for Lake to win this game so maybe I would not want to be against that. With Ed I can see why he immediately is the pick to win because he is really likable and cool and has done well. He won a lot of competitions and wasted 2 idols. At this point he has been listening and agreeing with my plans. For this F6 vote, the decision was mine. I could have had Lucy, Geo, and Ed vote for Lake. Melissa was set on Lucy and I got Lake and ed to agree to that vote. Lucy wanted to blindside Ed and Geo voted with Lucy, and Lake talked to me about whether or not we should vote out Ed at that time. Even though I could have been in a good position with Lucy and Lake and Geo, it leaves Melissa on the outs which I just could not do. Melissa has not developed the relationships that I have with some of these people so i trust people a bit more than her, but I definitely want to stick with her and I know Ed will be loyal to us two until the end.

The biggest question right now would be is Lake or Geo number 4? I am telling both of them that I want to go to F4 with them and I will figure it out later. All I know is i want 3 people of the F4 to be me, Ed, and Melissa. Mostly because I believe us three will stay loyal to the end and i don't want any funny business at F4 tribal. I will be shook if this is an F2. I literally won't know what to do because i will probably not win final immunity and I will probably get 3rd place. There is a lot to think about moving forward.

#iwillbecomesomethingelse

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survivordivergent · 7 years

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EPISODE 12 - “IT’S OKAY, I’LL MAKE THE POWER MOVES” - ELIZA

Welp. I wasn't kept in the loop, on the downside. Might've voted Lake to force the tie if so, so it's probably a good thing they hid it from me. But... bad for my game. They don't trust me. They trusted Lake more than me this round.

Two bright sides: my loyalty is a two-way street. As a result of being left in the dark, I don't feel as great about the group as I did this morning. And I have much less misgivings about lying to them, since they fired the first bullet. And second, I now have the only remaining idol in the game. Time to go to work and pick who's sitting next to me in the finals (and therefore picking the winner.)

literally just making this confessional bc I dont remember the last time i made one and don't know when I'll be able to make another. My sister is currently in the hospital about to have a baby and my mind is the furthest from this game that it's ever been. Hopefully i can trust my alliance to keep me around, but if not, well.. I've never been on a jury so this could be fun.

why would i backstab one of my closest allies, that makes no sense but for some reason i just really trust lake and eliza and i didn't trust ed at all and i wanted to change things up but MAN do i feel bad right now. im assuming eliza is sitting in her majority alliance chat right now just giggling to her friends about how she "convinced" me to vote off one of my close allies but if she's not and she actually is with me and lake then that is a beautiful thing because i can get geo to vote however i want and maybe we can finally get ed or melissa out of this GAME. (or jill tbh any of the 3 would be fine with me but jill seems nice so id rather have it be the other two for now) also ed literally doesn't talk to me so idk how he assumes he'll win this game like even if he does make it to ftc with all the idols and immunities he has like idk where he thinks his votes will come from if he ignores half the cast. i just really wanna win this game idk. I'm probably gonna get voted out next week but that was a fun attempt at a big move.....even though I'm literally heartbroken about doing that to payton.

Two options this vote: The easy vote, Geo, or the risky one, Ed.

The thing is Ed might have an idol but I'm trying to plan a split vote with me Eliza Lucy and Geo voting Ed (maybe Melissa too) and Jill and Ed voting geo so that if Ed does play an idol Geo will go home. I really don't care either way.

"one of you BROKE the challenge last night" @me next time :*

I think that the Four alliance is not as strong as it was before, or they might be trying to make me believe that. Lake and Eliza have been close, more than with Jill and Melissa since Eliza told me she speaks to Lake more. Jill and Melissa are closer to Ed than Lake and Eliza. Jill and Melissa are a thing.

The way I see it:

Geo and Lucy Melissa, Jill, and Ed Lake and Eliza

Lake and Eliza are voting for Ed, I believe, but they told him it's actually me instead. Melissa, Jill, and Ed are voting for Eliza, they probably said it's actually me. Me and Lucy are tbd, but I feel like we have conflicting views here. I think she truly wants to do Ed, but I'm sort of leaning towards Eliza. If what I wrote down is true, then I could potentially be a swing vote? Hah thats a joke im'ma be voted out tonight. Lucy i dont think knows about the Eliza thing though!

I fucking hate football if I'd known the patriots would make the end I wouldn't have pretended to be from Massachusetts

Look at me turning on 2 allies in one game back to back. I don't want to vote Ed, but honestly, he's gonna win if we dont try this. Our concern is the idol which me and Melissa and probably Jill knows he has. Im fine with Geo being the back up plan. Im not fine being the one that voted Ed. Bc if Ed plays the idol and stays, he's gonna come for me if Jill tells him I voted for him. But it's okay, I'll make the power moves. Also the Patriots are losing and i hate football. But my newborn niece is beautiful so there's that

#iwillbecomesomethingelse

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survivordivergent · 7 years

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EPISODE 11 (PART 2) - “ FIRST YOU GET THE IDOL. THEN YOU GET THE IMMUNITY. THEN YOU GET THE WIN.” - ED

http://insidesurvivor.com/sarah-lacina-retrospective-25209

Huh I ctrl-f'd "truth" "honesty" and "trust" but they weren't there. Weird. It's almost like she wasn't any of those things, just a flop on a power trip. But you know whatever. Who needs an idol anyway, no one ever votes for the goat.

I'm suddenly ALIVE

WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS GAME WANT ME TO FUCKING QUIT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT TWO FUCKING TIMES I MAKE A BIG MOVE AN IDOL PLAY I WORK ON IT SO MUCH AND BAM FUCKING FAKE TRIBAL TRIBAL DOESNT FUCKING COUNT THIS IS SO UNFAIR TO ME I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE ITI HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT ITS SO FUCKING UNFAIR ITS SO FUCKING UNFAIR ITS SO FUCKING UNFAIR MY AUCTION ITEM WASNT EVEN ACTUALLY USED

FUCK YOU HOSTS. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD, I WOULD HAVE FUCKING WON, BUT FUCK Y'ALL.

I am still SHOOK about this whole simulator thing. We didn't lose Melissa, Payton exposed their self as a snake, and we have majority. What was really interesting was that Payton tells our alliance that she had the Amity idol, that it was in 2 halves and you had to combine them in order to use it. AND THEN IT GETS PLAYED AT THAT TRIBAL COUNCIL!! There was no effort for secrecy, and it didnt seem too thought out because even if Melissa had gone, it still would have been 4-3 with Lucy, Geo, and Payton in the minority. This definitely gave the game some flavor. I just hope there is still a way for me to make it to the end

youtube

I'm literally just going to tell peolpe to vote me off lol

I hate immunity and most of all, I fucking hate Lake. You didn't need to say my name when you did you bitter asshole. Calm the fuck down, at least I'm TRYING to play a game instead of hiding behind Eliza and hoping I somehow get to F2.

Meet the new round, same as the old round. Minus the whole fractured BH5 group, natch.

Won reward again, check. Got the Candor idol again, check. Won immunity again, check. Lake is threatening to leak false information to Lucy and it's a bad look for me if she runs with it, because then Payton likely chooses to run with that and idols the wrong person. That'd mean it's likely Payton going. And while that would be easiest for my game, by far... I'm super not comfortable with that. She's been my ride or die since the hop. It'd be terrible form to abandon her as soon as a plan doesn't work out.

On the other hand... I've gotten fairly tight with BH5. Melissa, especially, but Eliza and Jill are rad as well. I can't wait to find out who they really are, because I feel like we're all fairly in lock-step as far as this game goes.

Not feeling the Lake love, though. I get why he was pulled in, but he's running directly contra to mine and Payton's best interests. And he's leaks info like whoa. It's like BH5 is a boat and Payton was busted drilling holes in it. And now, the leakiest option is here to patch the hole.

I don't think I truly needed this immunity. But it's another feather in my cap if I can make the end. The fact that I won both competitions twice proves that it wasn't a fluke (even though it totally was.) Editing two videos for the All-Stars music video comp meant that I was more or less disengaged from the trivia from 4pm until 9. And my Internet at the office is so bad that in the time it'd take for a Google page to load, the question would already be answered and awarded. So hey, good thing I built myself up such a buffer.

I'm caught between a rock and a hard place here. Usually the right move shines through at me, but right now everything is murky. A part of me wishes the girls would just lie to me and blindside Payton, so I could have the ignorance to fall back on. I almost wonder if they wouldn't deliberately give me the wrong target out of fear it'd get back to Payton. But they can't afford to be wasting votes they have, can they?

I also can't just do what Payton did and flip. It'd be game suicide right now. Payton probably got Otto's vote at the end, and maybe Dani's, at the expense of the BH5 girls. But hey, it was a plan she wanted to put in motion, and it could've had some net positives if not for the Divergent sim reset.

I think my best bet is to make the end with Payton. We've been seen as this inseparable duo since the start, but I can win against her because, while I think her social game may have been better, her only REALLY visible strategic play backfired. She'll undoubtedly try to throw me under the bus for knowing about it, at which point I can say that I set myself up to be okay even if it failed. And then of course, comp wins. The trick will be convincing people that it wasn't a #boring way of playing.

If not Payton, then Melissa. We've been more or less on the same page strategically, but my comp game has been undeniably better, and I think the one point where my game's been weak – the blindside courtesy of Dani that was offset – would be cancelled by Melissa's blindside courtesy of Payton that was offset.

I don't think I can beat Eliza or Jill. Both have incredible social games and, I think, are seen as the driving strategic forces in BH5. And I think I can beat any of Lucy, Lake and Geo.

The more I write this out, the more it makes sense for me to flip. I think I can beat everyone on one side of the coin but not the other. So why am I so attached to a bunch of sockpuppets that I can't envision directly flipping on them?

The easiest solution this round would be a literal repeat of last round, albeit without Mel taking the fall. Let's do the same as last week only take out Lake first. That would be so much easier to deal with.

The more I think about this, the more I think I'm screwed either way. My jury management sucks.

Of those on jury now, I might get Kyle. Maybe Dani. Not Otto. And then either I get to the end with BH4, which means Payton (and by extension Geo and Lucy) are probably upset at me. That's three votes I probably won't get, plus Otto... that's a loss.

OTOH, if I flip on BH4 now? That's Jill, Eliza and Melissa I probably lose. Them plus Otto... that's a loss.

The only way out of this is if BH4 gives me (I can somehow convince Payton that I was fed) false information and the P/G/L side idol the wrong person, causing her to go home.

Otherwise, my game is over this round. The downsides of playing both sides it that it can really come to bite you in the ass when everyone is sure you're with them.

Never before have I hoped more that someone doesn't trust me as much as I think they do.

So Jill or Lake is going home next, we know that. It just depends on who Jill plays her idol on :)

None of those fuckers are getting my vote at ftc if I go home today, especially ed bc he'd have lied to me.

Let's be honest I'm probably dying again. A lot is happening as a result of Payton flipping and a new idol being in play and of course my death. Lake is supposedly on our side now, feeding us information about Lucy. Let's be real, I don't trust it but I need him to think I do. I used my vote sneak on Lucy to see where she goes, and Jill says she'll use her idol this week if necessary. Right now it's 90 minutes until tribal and Lucy hasn't voted yet. And I NEED her to vote to know what I'm doing from there. All of this is just an effort to make f7. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do from there but what I've been asking for since the very beginning has finally happened. The game got real.

Listen, this better be an episode title. We're playing the idol on Lucy, praying she's actually the target. If this goes right, it's #samegamedifferentname. If it goes wrong... I'm going home.

I think I'm leaving so I'm voting Lake in case what Ed says is true and it's lucy, and in case jill plays her idol. Bye world

I hate lake

I'm probably going home this week. i went to lake with a plan to vote out payton just so i was the one who didn't get votes, and now he seems to think he has melissa and eliza on board with his plan but i don't know why they would do that and i honestly don't think they take him seriously enough as a player idk.. honestly i really just want one of them gone and i want to try and flip my position in this game but idk if this week is the week to do it. i also really don't trust ed and i want him out and i feel like cutting payton would be a good move to getting him out since they're besties. OK SO I JUST DECIDED. IM GOING TO VOTE PAYTON, AND NOT USE MY IDOL. OR I AM GOING TO VOTE JILL. IDK I AM SO STRESSSSSSED <<<<<

I'm taking credit for erring those two idols and Payton out of the game I put in the work and it paid off. This round went perfectly.

#iwillbecomesomethingelse

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survivordivergent · 7 years

Text

EPISODE 11 (PART 1) - “ FIRST YOU GET THE IDOL. THEN YOU GET THE IMMUNITY. THEN YOU GET THE WIN.” - ED

It's so interesting how a safe and secure position can come crashing down so quickly.

I have some very important questions about who was in on the idol flush. Did Eliza really feel in danger? Did Otto plant the seeds? And most importantly for me, why didn't Payton tell me the vote wasn't going to Eliza?

I'll start with the last point:I wouldn't have even doubted Payton for a SECOND were it not for what she said after tribal in the BH5 chat: "Anyway otto cussed me the fuck out because I told him I'd play my faux "idol" on him to assure that Jill would go home ;):"

To ensure that Jill would go home. Not Eliza, Jill. So why would Payton not tell her number one ally (allegedly) this vital bit of information to keep us safe, if it's obvious she knew that was the plan? Something about that doesn't sit well at all. I think I need to talk with her about that and find out what that was all about. Otherwise, I don't like my odds.

I think I'm in a good place with Eliza now. Not that I wasn't before, but an idol play isn't something most players can just brush off. Hopefully she's a rational player who realizes I want her around, and not short-sighted enough to knock me out of the game unnecessarily. I do think the paranoia was sincere last night, though I do find the timing curious as I only just told the gang about the idol yesterday, confirming their suspicions.

I'm working this reward comp hard. I would've liked to sit back and relax, maybe get myself a little off the radar, but that's not a good idea right now. There's a possibility that an idol was re-hidden, and an ally who may be thinking I wouldn't have done the same for her RE: playing the idol. I need to make sure Melissa knows we're still good, so if I can pull off another win here, the idol clue is going her way. We'll have two new clues to the Candor idol (unless she wants to see if a new idol was hidden at Erudite, in which case.... more for me.)

Partial kudos to Otto for going down swinging... in theory. But also partial WTF points to Otto for not coming to me at all during the day. He probably wouldn't have been able to swing me, but you never know unless you try. The more this game goes on, the more I appreciate Lucy and Geo. Communication is important in here. And it's a two-way street, which I acknowledge... but when it's Otto's ass on the line and not mine, I don't think it's too far out there to expect some motivation from him.

Ugh ugh ugh. Last night got so messy and unnecessarily so. I wish Melissa had told me about the vote doubler. When it came out suddenly and unexpectedly, I was sure she had flipped which is why I did what I did. Otherwise, why keep that secret and hide it from the people voting with you? Why induce the paranoia and stoke its flames?

Mostly, I'm just bummed at how wasted it was. With the time I put into that idol hunt... fuck. Given context though, it was something I had to do. I'd have felt like total garbage if it went the way I was expecting it to go and Eliza left on my watch. That said, I'd have felt even worse if Jill had somehow gone home. This tribal went well, considering our main target left. But if I had wasted my idol AND we lost a BH5er, I don't think I could have forgiven myself. That was such a sloppy read on the situation.

(EDIT: I've since spoken to Payton and she reminded me that she did, in fact, tell me the votes were going on Jill before the vote. D'oh. My paranoia is flaring up unnecessarily again. Still pissed at the flush.)

((Oh, and I'm thoroughly killing this comp. If I don't win it'll be because my Word doc got corrupted. Only way.))

youtube

HOW. HOW DID I LOSE THAT REWARD. i literally.... did it for like 3 hours... i did it during my classes... i blatantly looked up survivor facts in the middle of a class room where everyone could see my laptop and ed still beats me...i wanted to find an idol literally to blindside him but now thats impossible and he's won like every reward. he clearly has idols because he just threw one at eliza last week but my only real allies in this game payton and geo are too far up ed's ass for me to even attempt to tell them we should blindside ed. I'm ed giving me credit for doing well in the main chat like bitch! if you think i did so well u should give me a chance to look for the idol hMM!! but you won't because you don't actually trust me at all hMMM. anyways. lets hope we can get rid of melissa or jill this week or even lake because he's incredibly untrustworthy and always accuses me of being someone named "Nic" who i don't even know so zzz he can go. maybe if one of those girls go i can convince payton and eliza to do some sort of all girls thing and blindside ed... though payton literally called ed her final 2 when he got voted out the first time and ed literally used an idol on eliza even if it was worthless ahhh. i need to win immunity but like i don't even know if ill have the energy for whatever it is because like i spent so long trying for reward... maybe if i win immunity i can talk people into blindsiding ed when he's clearly running this game we'll see.

I'm living for everyone saying "Ed again, big surprise" and "of course Ed is in the top three" and "Ed again? Snooze." Don't want me to win? Get better.

Of course I shared the idol clue with Melissa as I outlined in my last confessional. Payton made an appeal to give it to Jill so she feels safe, but the downside to that is the very realistic possibility that she'd find a second idol. We don't need someone as well-liked as Jill to have two safety nets. So I reverted back to the initial plan of going with Melissa. I'm fairly confident that she would turn on others in the five before she'd turn on me.

She told me she looked for Candor, and the list of possibilities dwindled by a very wide margin. That's awesome news. Better yet, she narrowed it down to Matt Elrod and... someone. Even better news, after her guesses, there are only three possibilities. Even betterer news, I'll be getting another clue to narrow it down a little more. And the best news? She didn't get the idol, but she did most of the legwork. I take no pleasure in 'stealing' the idol from Melissa, but I'd be lying if I said having control over the idol didn't make me just a bit more confident. Not counting my idols before they hatch, though. First I gotta find the sucker. And there's the possibility that it may not even be there anymore.

I fear this round will be the culmination of weeks of posturing. Payton seems prepared to make a move against the girls. And I do appreciate the irony of a big move being planned only after Otto's gone. There's some poetic justice to that. On the other hand though, I don't doubt that Payton's best shot at the finals is to do this. I feel like I might have a bit more support in BH5 than she does. And as far as the 'stragglers' go, there's no doubt she's got more sway with Geo (who helped her look for the Amity idol,) Lake (who talks to her, I guess???) and Lucy (who's super chill and is on good terms with me, too.)

So – what's my easiest path to the end? In a perfect world, Lucy and Payton would use their Amity idol halves to idol whoever the target is and blindside one of the girls. But that poses a problem – namely, how do I get them to play the idol when they'd likely have numbers if I swung with them? I'd feel much more confident voting out Lake than anyone else. Literally everyone remaining in the game talks with me. So if Lake could be idoled and and, say, Jill were blindsided... I'd be sad to see her go, but MAN that would be good for my game. I'd still have a steadfast ally, I'd have a group of ladies hell-bent on revenge, and I'd have at least one vote on jury if I made it to the end and could explain it well.

But that's so far off in the distance, it's a speck. First you get the idol. Then you get the immunity. THEN you get the win.

Whew I almost killed myself yesterday, but I'm alive-at the cost of reward. Whatever. I'm curious to know what the god forsaken immunity is going to be though... another live challenge? K i l l m e

Anyway, Lucy and I are almost definitely going to use our idol to take down Jill this round or next, hopefully taking down Lake if we don't go her. If I can keep up with Lucy/Ed/Geo/me to the end, and then pick off one of them at the last minute (Geo/Lucy), I'm going to the end. Given that Ed doesn't flip on my ass, but I actually trust him. I might lose to Ed if we go to the end, but I'll get second, and that will be amazing. Apparently I'm destined for second anyway.

Oh Kay! At this point in the game there is a lot that I am thinking about right now. We have the alliance of 5 that is steamrolling merge right now. It is ugly and boring, but when you are a part of it, it is hard to be mad about it.

After the last vote, Lake straight up told me that he voted for me. Which I was fine with. He then says that I need to stop confronting people when I get tea. I did it with Dani when Lake mentioned to me that Dani lightly mentioned trying to blindside me for first merge boot and then also for this most recent tribal I confronted Otto when I heard he wanted to try and split the vote between Eliza and myself. Lake was pissed that I do this because in both instances Lake gets in trouble! Dani only told Lake about maybe blindsiding me, and Otto only mentioned to Lake about splitting the votes between me and Eliza. What happened there is I heard from Payton who was told by Lake. I did not fully pay attention to that succession of information and was not privy to what exactly went down and I didn't really care. I went to Otto and heard of a plan to split the votes, but that I didn't think it was a real plan and just tried to brush it off like it wasn't anything. After tribal Lake tells me that only he was told and Otto was mad at Lake for it. Lake then says "I just didn't see the point of confronting him about it. What good did it do." and what I REALLY wanted to respond was that the point was it made Otto not happy with Lake, put less of a target on me, and Otto went home. Eliza telling Otto that Geo was the plan for that vote helped because I talked to Otto about that plan, then went over to Geo to show him that Otto was the one talking about voting out Geo. It seemed with Otto really trying to do something for that most recent vote he was very all over the place and it made everyone wary of him. Lake is mad at me, but I don't really care because he is outside of my alliance and when i spill tea that I hear he ends up in a worse position than myself so I am not too mad about it.

Now we move on to Big Hero 5 and what is going to happen at final five. I am really hoping that we actually stick together until then. At this point in the game this is the last tribal where it would be easy to flip. Only 2 out of the five need to go to Geo, Lucy, and Lake and spill the tea about our alliance and make a move against us. I think Melissa, Eliza, and I are a solid three like we have been since Four Tribe and I really don't see Payton flipping on us. The only possible worrisome person here is Ed. But what is good is that I think me and ed are in a good position. He gave me 2 idol searches and I gave him the most recent immunity. I like to think we have had each other's back and I hope that if shady things happen, they at least don't happen to me. If they happen to someone in Big Hero Five I would be upset, but if it isn't me I won't be wholly upset because it makes Final Five Tribal Council easier and maybe making it to the end that much easier as well. Also, everyone knows I have an idol and it doesn't seem like anyone is trying to get me to flush it so if i can hold onto it for 3 rounds and then have it for Final 5 that would be great and I would be much less stressed out about that vote. The only issue is that I have to make it through three rounds and with this game waking up that could potentially be difficult.

So Lake is like my secret weapon in this game, and he is putting an ENORMOUS target on his back, fighting with Payton in the tribe chat. He's asking me to vote him out, but Melissa and I need Him to help us blind side Ed at F7 like we are planning and I'm at work and my head is spinning bc my game is spiraling out of control bc Lake can't just calm down and stay quiet...... Ugh these CATFISH who CLEARLY know who each other is... Just follow the damn rules!!!

Who has the Candor idol? Ed.

Who had the Erudite idol? Ed.

Who's won pretty much all the reward comps? Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy.

Who has the Amity idol? Payton, my closest ally, and Lucy.

Who has the Dauntless idol? Jill, who came to me this morning about working together even after we're down to five.

Who has the other idols? Who cares, they're out of the game.

Strong position re-established and it's thanks to Melissa's Candor patience, Jill's keeping her options open, and Payton's relentless Amity searching. Boo-yah.

[8:25:31 PM] Melissa Fields: supernova [8:25:31 PM] Payton Rodriguez: Supernova? yall really did that but Melissa's comes up first on my skype

listen, jenns. I'm mad.

Lake's alias name is very poorly chosen. He lacks the depth.

My time is coming to end.

The Candor alliance along with Ed and Melissa control this game and they will be the Final 5.

The only person I'm loyal to at this point is Eliza. I still tell her everything but with how much I've been acting out I don't think she will be able to keep the others off my back at this point.

I've been trying to scare the others in to not voting for me. I really want Payton to go because I have lost all respect for her and she does not deserve to be here. I think Eliza is starting to feel the same way.

The only people I would want to vote for in the end are Eliza and Melissa but I'm not really sure what Melissa is doing in this game.

I'm completely ignoring Geo at this point and have not talked to Ed and Payton in a while and I don't plan on it. It's kind of unbearable watching all of them hit it off in the tribe chat.

Playing this game was unlike any other I've done. I've never been so uninvolved. Really my time is up in this game. I'm ready to move to the jury and hopefully vote for a worthy person at the end. You can bet I'll have some hard hitting questions for these bafoons.

Lake can go eat glass bye bitch. I don't care if it fucks with my plans for Jill, I'm idoling you the fuck out.

It amazes me how much power I have in this game.

And also what a total asshole I am.

Melissa and Eliza both brought up the idea of voting out Lucy because of how competitive she is. On the surface, a great idea. But what they don't know: Lucy has the second half of the Amity idol.

So, armed with the knowledge that they intend to get Lucy out, and confirming with Eliza that she'd have been okay with leaving Payton out of the loop, I went to Payton and told her that the plan to get Lucy was gaining momentum. She started being a bit aggro in the BH5 chat, and Mel tried swaying her using logic. Those two speak different languages when it comes to the game, and it's important to talk to people in their language rather than make yours heard over theirs.

So, I went to Payton and told her she should agree with the plan. Then she should use the Amity idol on Lucy and blindside someone. Doesn't matter who, I don't want to know, that way I don't have to lie about knowing who was going. (If this plan works, sorry @Eliza @Melissa @Jill @whichever of you three got clocked. Love you all.) And the best part is that I'm legitimately not around tonight, so the Candor idol won't be in play at all. The girls will probably be freaking out, Jill may play hers, but mine won't be available.

I've also told Payton I'm voting with the girls so it looks like I'm blindsided, too. This lets me have all the info coming from BH5, and lets her have all the info from the Lucy/Geo/Lake cluster. And then we can alternate our votes, picking people off from each side until the end.

That's the best-case scenario. The worst-case scenario is that Payton idols Lucy, Jill idols whoever the votes are going on (in which case Payton can't blame me, 'cause I told her I didn't want to know.) And then it's a 0-0 and I have to decide where my better chance at the end lies. Unfortunately for Payton, my style of game is far more logical than emotional. If it were pure emotional, it would be a no-brainer. But in this unlikely scenario, I'd have to give it some serious thought.

Alternatively, someone could also throw a decoy vote on someone as a safeguard against an idol. A 1-1 vote forcing a revote could also make a difference. I just threw out a variation on this idea to Payton which would idol Lucy, Lucy votes a girl, Payton votes Lake. She'd still be in a rough spot, but there's no way the girls would vote against each other and then we could get out Lake just like she wanted.

Dominoes are falling!

fuck lake

Lucy and Payton make an idol and play it on lucy. Blindside Melissa Simple and done I hope this works out

If not, i think it'll be me leaving cause i told jill to vote lucy, which will make her suspicious and think im shady so they plan to vote me instead cause they probably think im working with lucy and she has an idol, bye world

So..... there has been zero talking since the results post.... My alliance chat has said nothing. I have zero things in pm's... I'm... Nervous??? This is very unusual, that at least Melissa and Jill aren't talking to me either??? I have no idea what's doing on...

Lol sorry Melissa. This wasn't the plan, but it sure is now. Love ya hun. Have fun in Ponderosa.

That worked, we did it, Melissa is out of the game!

I can't believe it actually worked!

#iwillbecomesomethingelse

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