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#kyle fletcher smut
majesticwren · 3 months
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this took me weeks to complete. I am now exhausted. don't come at me, it might be poorly executed. it is 10k of plotless, self-indulging, poly smut and I am not ashamed, thank you, bye. it is a stand alone one-shot for now but there might be more coming, I am not done with Fletch and Will at the moment I'm afraid. I'm unhinged. edit: it now has a part II and a part III
Trigger Warning/s: threesome, smut, poly, unprotected sex (kids, don't follow the fics exaples), everyone is a little bit top and a little bit bottom, a whole lot of consent, chocking, swearing, everyone has a praise kink :)
part II -> | part III -> prequel part I -> | part II -> | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist
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The apartment was now quiet, save for some still playing background music and some low chattering of the last remaining people. The party just ended was to be considered a success, but it had finally died out. Although none of the three remaining seemed to be overly worried about the time or the tidying up just yet.
“One of you should be dancing with me,” Erika teased, only pretending not to be paying any attention to the two boys sitting on the floor just a few feet from her.
“Why?” Kyle stretched his long arms across the edge of the sofa he was leaning on,  “The view is so much better from here.” The way he looked at her, with his chin slightly raised, lips bent in a satisfied smile and pale eyes twinkling with a not-so-hidden desire somehow reminded her of something forbidden. A shiver crossed her spine, only prompting Kyle to wink at her.
That’s how it had been between them from forever. Endless flirting. Endless teasing. The way she felt for him always made her feel like she could do anything. He was her home. For him she would have fought the world, heck she would have broken it in half if needed. It was a strong feeling nesting into her chest and stomach, always feeding her with extreme confidence.
“And what about you?” She wondered as her eyes slid on the man sprawled on the carpet next to Kyle.
His head rested on the sofa as he lazily looked at her. A small, confident smile crossed his lips. He didn’t seem at all bothered to be looking with interest at someone else’s woman. On the contrary, she would have bet he was intrigued. She dared a cheeky smile, hoping it would be enough to fish his interest.
“Yeah, Billy,” Kyle started, leaning closer to him, though none of the two lifted their eyes from her, which prompted her to keep dancing under their eyes. “What do you think?”
“I think she is gorgeous, bruv.” Will raised his bottle of beer first to her and then to Kyle, who clinked his bottle with it. They both chuckled.
“If you are both so smitten by me why am I all alone here?” 
Both the guys smiled widely, but it was Kyle who pushed himself forward. “Why don’t you come chill here with us instead?” He even offered her a helping hand.
As soon as he got a hold of her, Kyle pulled her down on his lap.
The moment she realised she may have just fallen into his carefully woven trap was too late. She thought she was the one trying to tempt and tease them, but she was wrong. She wasn’t the only one fishing, clearly. And now she was in the wolf's den. Not that she had anything against it, of course.
“You think you are so smart, Fletch?” She wondered crossing her fingers behind his neck and hanging off his shoulders.
His smile grew cocky. “I got you, don’t I?”
��That you do.” She bit her lower lip trying to hide a smile as she grabbed his bottle of beer off his hand, stealing a sip.
With his now free hands, Kyle loosely wrapped an arm around her waist and with the other he fixed a strand of her hair behind her ear, studying her features with the sweetest look.
Sometimes Erika found herself so used to being by his side she would be immune by his prettiness. Other times his charm hit her so violently it made her stupid. And feral. Somehow, it made her want to smother and bite him. Not violently. Only to nibble on his cheeks, down his jawline, following his neck.
Her mouth was watering.
They looked into each other's eyes for a long couple of seconds. No words needed to be said to express the feelings connecting them. Erika was an open book to him, and Kyle had accepted for a long time to share his heart with her.
Sometimes they pretended it didn't matter. Erika was used to replying “whatever” anytime he said he loved her. They brushed their love off like it was a joke. But they both knew it was endgame.
Will, next to them, finished up his beer in one single gulp and then he moved. “Right,” he began, “I better be on my way. Thanks for the party, bruv,” Will landed a heavy hand on Kyle's shoulder, giving him a strong shake, though his attention never lifted from Erika, “You lucky bastard.”
His deep hoarse voice and thick Brit accent brushed on Erika's skin. She felt it just as she felt his eyes burning on her. And she did nothing to stop it.
She liked Will. Always had.
He had been a good friend to her, but especially to Kyle and her brother Mark. Effectively, Will had led them through their leap into pro wrestling and she would have always been grateful to him for making the dream of the two people she cared the most in the world become reality.
But now it wasn't only polite gratefulness or kindness that pulled her towards him anymore. She wanted his attention. There had been some harmless flirting between Kyle, her and Will for some time now. And it just made her hungrier and hungrier for something she never had before. A real craving she felt into her stomach and under her skin for something prohibited and so damn sweet.
She turned over facing Will, still hanging onto Kyle. Her smile was a tempting curve that only grew when she noticed him looking at her lips. “Why are you leaving so early?” She wondered, purring softly, “We aren't done.”
“You two might not be,”
“Don’t be a party pooper,” Erika wined, cutting through his words, “Stay a little longer, do it for me.”
Will smiled softly. “God,” a chuckle cut through his breath, “how do you manage to ever contradict her?”
“I never do.” Explained Kyle simply, “She gets everything she wants.”
“I bet she does,” Will’s attention moved back to her as his smile widened from amused to teasing. “And what do you suggest we do then, love?”
She had a few ideas in mind. A cheeky smile popped on her face, making her blushing cheeks pop.
“Well,” Erika played with Kyle’s shirt collar, pretending to be distracted and not at all with an end goal to reach. “We could play truth or dare.”
“What, like bloody teenagers?”
She nodded hopefully, “Yeah. It’s still fun.”
Both Will and Kyle exchanged a quick look. There was a silent interaction between the two, to which Kyle simply shrugged, prompting Will to chuckle. “Why don’t you just ask me something you want to know?” He wondered looking back at her. “Or tell me something you’d like me to do.”
The way he looked at her made her stomach tremble.
“Ok,” Erika exchanged a quick complicit look with Kyle, before turning to Will once again, this time she dared to slide a hand on his knee. “Do you like me, Will?” Her smile was now a weapon. Erika brushed her hand on Will’s strong thigh and would have stopped anytime if he had hinted at her to do so. But he didn't.
If her words hadn't been clear, the dark light sparkling in her eyes should have been a hint enough. Will seemed suddenly uncomfortable, he awkwardly hesitated turning over to Kyle.
In response, Kyle shrugged, “Don't look at me, mate. She asked you a question.” He had a cocky, proud smile printed on his lips as he directed Will’s attention back to her.
Kyle was always her partner in crime. That was what he had signed up for. She was a wild card, always been since the day they met. There was no stopping her when she put her head on something. But it wasn't like she ever needed to keep secrets from him. There was no need to lie. Kyle was always in her corner, willing to give her anything she wanted. And now they were both looking at what she wanted.
“C’mon mate, don't leave the lady hanging,” Kyle continued.
Will’s eyes fell on her hand on his leg first and then he finally seemed to gather enough courage to look back at her. “I do,” a small smile finally broke on his lips. He hadn’t entirely defrosted yet, but he was surely game.
She smiled victorious, “So, I could dare you to do anything.”
“It all depends on how far you are willing to go, love.” He teased her following with a quick wink.
She was hit by a heat wave that crossed her skin, into her flesh, gathering through her body just to nest into her abdomen. It’s not like she wasn’t used to having things always go her way, she was too stubborn to let others have control over what she wanted. That included people too. And yet, Erika could still feel a win with the same immense pleasure of the adrenaline discharge the end of a hunt brought.
She was already licking her lips, “I don’t know,” she didn’t lift her eyes from Will as she slid her hands over Kyle’s chest, playing with his shirt. Black was a colour that suited him so well. Not quite as good as green though. “How does all the way sound to you?”
Will’s attention moved on Kyle. He was serious now. “Are you fine with this, bruv?”
The Aussie met him with a cocky, compliant smirk. He hadn’t lifted his attention from Erika. On the contrary, if possible his pride and affection seemed only to increase. “She does what she wants, mate. I don’t control her.” His eyes crossed her figure, “But I do enjoy the ride.” Once again, Kyle stretched on the sofa, opening his arms up, implying the freedom she had.
Erika's attention slid back on him. She melted into a soft smile, gratitude and affection poured out of her gaze, right into his. She relaxed, sitting back on his thighs as her hands raised confidently across Kyle's neck and to his face. Erika cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer. Kyle was hanging into her touch and welcomed her kiss with a smile. He slid his big hands distractedly over her thighs, establishing contact but still not caging her into a hug.
This time Will looked at them. He was still slightly awkward, but his gaze burned with interest he didn't bother to hide.
Erika let go of Kyle only to turn back to Will, meeting his focused gaze with a teasing smile. Just because she liked to play under his attention, she licked her lips, tasting Kyle's kiss.
“Kiss me.” She finally said, inviting him to move closer.
Before he even dared to breathe, Will looked back at Kyle to check his reaction, only to find complete relaxation from the Aussie. Kyle was still smiling and just nodded at the Brit, lying back on the edge of the sofa. Now, he was the one watching.
Will was still hesitant in the way he crawled closer to her, though she was ready to catch him. Erika slid a hand on his chest, enjoying pressing her palm against his solid flesh. It was the first time she was directly touching him to feel him and they all seemed to react to it. She moved softly, never breaking eye contact with him, somehow afraid she would have scared him away. Erika brushed her palm up to the collar of his tee, her fingers toyed with the feeling of its material for a moment, before she decided to keep moving up and around the solid column of his neck.
Will didn't oppose her.
He may be frozen into hesitation, with his breath shaking and all, but it didn't mean he didn't want it. She could see it in his eyes.
Erika pulled him closer. Her hand moved to his jaw. “Hey,” she whispered, the closest she had ever been to his lips. Their noses were touching.
“Hey,” he replied just as gently.
For a second it was only them.
Erika smiled. She tasted his breath on her tongue and shivered in anticipation. Her body ached under the need to be touched, even when Will didn’t seem comfortable enough with that just yet.
She was done waiting. She had decided she needed to take things into her own hands and be the one breaking that last small distance between them. So she did, sealing it with a kiss. It was soft at first, she wanted to leave him the chance to back off. Will barely reacted as they both took a moment to feel each other's lips. She let them all get acquainted with that new dynamic all the while just enjoying feeling Will’s full lips pressed on hers.
The desire Erika was feeling was undiscovered ground. There was something ravaging in the idea of wanting a man. Another man. Feeling her interest in Will becoming not so dormant anymore and rising, taking over her. But it wasn’t only about Will. It was also being aware that her own man was watching it happen. She wasn’t alone, Kyle was part of it and the freedom and trust he was offering her made her feel all-powerful.
Just after a good second into that timid, tepid contact, Will seemed to finally defrost. He inhaled deeply her scent and moved forward, embracing her. He grabbed her side, filling his palm up with the material of her top as he clawed at her soft hip. His fingers dug into her flesh as he pulled her closer.
To the brush of his tongue over her lips, Erika felt her stomach tremble and she was more than happy to oblige. As soon as their tongues crossed, she released a soft sigh. She crossed her arm around his wide shoulders, curiously sliding her fingers into his curly hair. Will’s flavour went straight to her head, whereas for their kiss, she felt it in her lower abdomen.
Her other hand stayed firm on Kyle’s chest. She needed to keep solid contact with him, not willing to cut him out. And he seemed of the same idea. His hands were stroking her thighs, he had pushed his fingers under the edge of her skirt and was teasing her following the rhythm of her kiss with Will. Erika’s fingers fiddled with the edge of his shirt, loosening up a button so that she could slide her hand under its soft material and feel Kyle’s hot skin burn directly on her palm.
Will was quick to gain confidence. He caged her into his arms, pushing his other arm around her figure. At first, his fingers only brushed her exposed chest, studying her skin, then his hand wrapped gently around her neck, holding her. The way his thumb crossed her throat in a soft caress made her quiver. He then pushed his entire hand into her loose hair, grabbing it, and making her bend for him as he deepened his kiss.
Any thought Erika may have had was gone. Her mind was pure, hot vapour and she felt like she was melting away in between the two.
Kyle moved as well. He was done watching. He pulled himself up and got closer to her, enough to kiss the exposed skin of her shoulder. Feeling him, as if Will knew his intention, he moved his arm away only to grant Kyle enough space to latch on her neck.
Erika released a shameless moan into Will’s mouth, not even trying to hide how turned-on she was. Especially when Kyle pulled on her thighs, inviting her to rub against him.
Erika broke the kiss with Will and turned to Kyle. Their lips connected in a savage kiss. She whimpered and purred tasting both men on her tongue. And she only wanted more. She was hungry. Violently shaken by a deep, dark desire she had never thought she would have felt. It was coming from deep within like a beast awaken.
She felt Will extremely close to her ear. His breath was hot against her sensitive skin, rippling on her neck, making her lower abdomen react. The small sigh he released, watching her making out with Kyle, slid right through her, giving her goosebumps.
“Fuck-” he whispered just as Erika slid a hand around his neck, squeezing softly.
Kyle, on the other hand, didn’t seem willing to show her mercy either. He pushed her skirt high around her waist, grabbing her ass full into his large palms and guiding her firmly to roll her hips against him, bringing her hot, aching and wet core to directly rub against the bulge in his pants. She was already a mess. Erika whimpered as her body was crossed by pure pleasure, only prompting Kyle to reward her with a moan of his own.
She pushed her free hand under the collar of Kyle’s shirt and across his wide shoulders, where she had no shame digging her nails.
All too suddenly, Erika broke her kiss with Kyle and gently pushed both men off her, leaving them all breathless. Her hands slid on their chest, both to keep feeling them and to halt them, even if for a moment. She looked at them both, trying to soothe their puzzled looks.
“Are you ok, love?” Will studied her features trying to read an answer on her face. His attention then slid on Kyle, to check if he was ok too.
She nodded. “Yes, more than ok,” she stroked both men tenderly, offering a grateful smile. Her attention then moved on Kyle. “I feel we are going in a certain direction, aren’t we?”
“Too soon?” The Aussie wondered, stroking her legs, this time in an affectionate, encouraging way.
“Oh, well-” Erika chuckled, trying to catch her breath, she looked at him and then back at Will, “Yes. But, it’s good. I like that direction.”
Both guys smiled bright and proud, just as if they had received a golden star. They looked at each other and, once again, they talked without words.
“I guess we like that direction too, then.” Explained Kyle, finding confirmation in Will’s nodding.
“We are talking about shagging, aren’t we? I am not misunderstanding?”
Erika rolled her eyes, struggling to hide an amused smirk. “That is such an ugly word, Billy.”
“Is it?” Will smirked, pushing a finger under her chin, making her look at him in the eye. “Is fucking any better.”
A shiver crossed her. “Yeah-”
Will looked straight into her eyes and she felt like she was getting lost in his focused gaze. “Is that what you are talking about then? You want to get fucked by both of us?”
Erika tried to suffocate a whimper, which only caused Will to chuckle. Behind his eyes hid all his desire and she seemed to be able to see all the things he wanted to do to her. Another shiver crossed her.
“I do.” She finally admitted, but before she could get lost in that statement, feeling both men closing on her, Erika held her ground, turning back to Kyle. This time, she needed to have his sole focus. “And I need to know you are with me on this.”
“Baby,” he looked up at her. He was so smitten that his gaze sparkled bright and his cheeks blushed, “I’d walk through fire for you. This?” He grabbed Will’s shoulder, giving him a shake, “This is just a fun night to me.”
“Tell me. Tell me you are happy to get into a threesome with me. I need to hear it.” She wanted it desperately, but she had no intention of doing anything that could jeopardize her happiness with Kyle.
And he finally seemed to sense her doubts. He was now serious, cupping his hands softly around her face, slowly nodding at her. “If this is what you want. And Will is down. Then I am more than fine with it.”
She nodded and then looked up at Will, looking for the same sentiment. “Will?”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “I mean this is not how I’ve planned my evening to go but I’ll be damn if I let the opportunity go,” he winked jokingly at her, “I’m in it, love.”
Erika melted into the widest of smiles and then she leaned in, kissing Kyle first and Will after. Only a quick one before deciding to move. They were done talking for the night.
She got up from the warm cocoon Kyle’s lap offered, holding both the boys’ hands and guiding them up to follow her. She didn’t even bother to fix her skirt or her top. To her, it was just quicker and better to get rid of her clothes entirely.
Which was precisely what she did. Knowing she had both men’s full attention burning on her back, she decided it was time to give them a show. Erika slowly and sensually started to slip out of her top, moving her body fluidly, like in a slow dance. She then stretched lazily, as if she had just woken up from a nap. Her skirt was next. She let it pool at her feet and stepped over it swaying her hips.
Behind her, she heard Will making a noise so similar to a growl. And Kyle chuckled in response, as the Aussie heavily patted the other on the shoulder. “You are in for a treat, my friend.”
“No doubt.”
Erika gave them a quick, cheeky look over her shoulder, soaking up the worship in their eyes. Being almost entirely naked, save for her revealing panties, was something that made her feel extreme ease under her skin. She liked being naked.
She guided them both into the bedroom and finally faced them with a wide, victorious smile bending her lips.
She kicked her heels off, finding extreme pleasure in the sudden hight difference with Kyle. Will was quite tall too, just not as tall as the Aussie. He slid his hands around her hips, holding her as his fingers toyed with the elastic of her underwear. He looked straight down into her eyes. The pale blue of his irises was as bright as fresh, calm seaside waves. That’s what he felt like to her. Warm like Summer.
Erika pulled him down in a soft kiss and then turned her attention to Will. Kyle was still close enough for her to have her back pressed on his chest.
She wondered what would Will feel like. Would a night be long enough for her to find out what Will made her feel like? She had a suspicion that just like Kyle felt like Summer and fresh, clear seawater, Will would feel like a rainy day in Autumn.
Will’s eyes slid across her body, studying her curves. “You are fucking breathtaking, love.” His eyes were dark and glimmering, but what she found most attractive was the pink blushing his cheeks.
Erika’s smile grew wider. Will’s voice caressed her and nested into her stomach, filling her up with confidence. “Yeah?” She wondered teasingly, sliding her hands across herself. She cupped her breasts, arching her back. Kyle, behind her, sighed in approval. Will’s gaze followed her movements closely. “Like what you see, Ospreay?” She teased.
He raised an eyebrow, “I’d be mad if I didn’t.”
She encouraged him to get closer and then moved her hands to his wide chest looking up at him. He met her with the softest of gazes, his lips bent in an encouraging smile as she felt his eyes crossing her features. “Have you been wanting this for a while, love?” He wondered playing with a lock of her hair, twirling it around his index.
Erika bit down on her lip and nodded.
“Yeah?” Will pushed on, and now his hand slid on her face. “With us?”
“Yes,” she whispered, not for timidity but because her breath was short. “I have thought about this moment before.”
“Damn,” Will grinned, exchanging a proud look with Kyle, over her head. When he looked back at her he had a cheeky grin printed on his lips. She knew she was safe, and yet something about the way Will just looked at her made him look somehow dangerous. It gave her a shiver that crossed her from head to toe, only bringing her desire to grow. “Tell us about your fantasy, love.”
She looked at him for a long moment and then raised her eyes to Kyle, who was waiting for her with an encouraging nod. “Go on, we are here only to satisfy you.”
Erika, for the first time, felt timid. It wasn’t her naked skin making her suddenly aware of being watched and seen, but the idea of revealing something so personal to them made her hesitate and blush. Even under the promise they would have done anything to her heart's desire, she still needed a moment to fight the knot rising in her throat.
They were gonna do it. She was about to give in to her deepest fantasy.
“First,” she said pushing both men off her just so she could climb on the bed. For the first time in her life, she found herself wondering if the mattress would have welcomed three people comfortably. “You both are wearing too much clothes.” Erika pointed out kneeling in the center of the bed, patiently waiting for the two to undress. She bit on her lip, looking at them both. “And I am getting cold.”
Kyle moved first. “We don’t wan’t that,” he kicked off his shoes and finished to undo his shirt, throwing it on the floor. His jeans followed. Since he moved first, her attention followed him and the skin he was uncovering.
She loved the way he moved, but it wasn’t only his confidence and effortlessness that attracted her like a magnet. It was the way his golden skin moved as his muscles stretched and contracted; it was the way his hair fell on his forehead, and it was in the quietness of his steps.
As he moved across the room she followed his body. Her hungry eyes crossed his entire figure. Erika knew his body well. She knew how his skin felt and tasted. She knew exactly what he liked. She knew what made him tick and assert dominance, and what made him whimper and beg. She knew how he liked to be handled but mostly, how he liked to handle her. And she knew how to behave to please him. He was surprising in many aspects and sex was one of those. Kyle was extremely open-minded. He liked to play and experiment and, especially for that reason, they had tried most things in the bedroom. Probably for that specific reason, she was extremely comfortable with him and also never tired of him. There was something about Kyle that kept her wanting, always, no metter how much pleasure he’d bring her in one sitting.
Agile like a cat, Kyle moved fluidly and reached her side. Biting down on his lower lip, he made her raise her face and look at him pushing only the tip of his index under her chin.
She was completely under his spell.
Kyle stole a kiss and then guided her to look back at Will, leaning his head against hers.
Will stood stiff in the middle of the room, he was observing them closely. His gaze was hooked to them both, as his eyes didn't miss any opportunity to cruise on their bodies. And yet, some form of soft shyness seemed to hit him.
Erika giggled, taken by surprise and nonetheless attracted to him. His rosy cheeks made her tremble with the desire to conquer him. She raised an encouraging hand, calling him to her. “What's the matter, Will?” She wondered as she gently pulled him to her. He hesitated as he moved closer to them, holding his breath. When he stopped at the foot of the bed, so close to her, he instinctively looked at Kyle, looking for support, not daring to move another inch.
She knew exactly what he was looking for, just as much as she knew how willing Kyle was, by then, to do his best to make everyone feel comfortable and give them all the night of their lives. She felt the Aussie moving behind her, but before he could do or say anything anything, she took the control of the situation back.
Erika smiled sweetly, like a doll, knowing exactly how to use all her assets to make men tremble. She dared to get as close as Will as possible and tapped his proud chin, making him look at her instead. “Do you need me to help you undress?” Her tone was low and tempting.
As soon as Will’s gaze fell on her, she felt all the weight of his desire hitting her. Her smile widened as her hands cruised across his wide chest. “Hey,” she whispered softly, “It’s ok,” she encouraged him, never breaking eye contact as her fingers hooked on his shirt and pulled it gently up his abdomen, prompting him.
He finally seemed to defrost and slipped out of his t-shirt in one fluid move.
When his chest was left bare, Erika looked down. She had seen him like that many times, but she had never been naked in front of him before. Again, her hands moved avidly on his torso, studying the solid edges of his muscles. His skin was warm and surprisingly soft under her touch and the more she touched, the more of his body she desired to explore and not only with her hands. As she looked at her fingers moving across his abdomen, tracing the edges of his abs, she felt her mouth water as the feral need to nibble on the soft skin on his belly.
When her hands moved down to his belt, she looked back up at him. She whipped out a cheeky smile as she toyed with the edge of his jeans, following it around his hips. Will’s gaze hadn’t moved, he was studying her every feature, still not daring to move.
“You know what my fantasy involves, Will?” She wondered pulling a hand back to reach blindly for Kyle, who was ready to take her arm into his hand and guide her palm to his mouth, as he softly kissed her skin. She shivered.
“Tell us,” Will’s coarse voice was low and rumbled right through her stomach and into her lower abdomen.
“Touch me.” She ordered, guiding one of his hands to her hip.
Will didn’t need more than that. His other hand followed and as soon as both his big hands solidly caged her waist, Erika released a satisfied sigh. His hands were rough, she suspected so, and yet his touch was careful and warm.
Unable to keep herself at a distance anymore, Erika pushed herself against him and, pulling on his neck, kissed him.
Will was quick to act. Every trace of timidity left him. His lips were nothing but welcoming, the taste of his tongue on her made Erika’s head spin. He caged her in between his strong arms and didn’t hesitate to grab her ass, solidly feeling her soft flesh with his hand. Holding her like that, he pulled her towards him, making her pressing herself completely against his chest. A satisfied, low growl left his chest, as he felt her naked skin and breasts against him.
As sweet as the idea of letting go was, Erika resisted. She abruptly pushed Will away, breaking their kiss and then slipped off his hold only to fall back into Kyle's hug.
As he welcomed her in his arms, she snuggled on his chest, sitting back on his lap and letting her head fall on his shoulder. Kyle’s arms moved around her hips as his lips cruised her shoulder. As he did to follow her neck, Erika turned and caught his lips, pushing a hand into his hair.
Kyle’s hands moved across her abdomen and, as he reached for her breasts, cupping both of them into his large palms, she arched her back, pushing her chest out and her ass back into his crouch.
She knew Will was watching and it was inebriating.
“You are still dressed, Will.” She teased, looking back at the Brit and whipping a sharp grin. She leaned against Kyle again, from there, she had a good enough view of the other.
Taking it like a challenge, just like she hoped, Will raised his chin and let her watch as he removed his jeans. There weren’t many things able to made her lose her mind, but seeing such a big, strong, successful guy blushing for her was one of those.
His boxers followed and, once he was left naked in front of her, Will raised his chin once more, proudly accepting her curious gaze on his exposed body.
Erika followed his abdomen and had to bite her tongue not to bark seeing his hip dips. She wanted to sink her teeth in them and leave a mark. Her eyes then, with no shame or modesty, followed the pale happy trail under his bellybotton and fell on his erection. There was nothing to hide anymore, after all. And still, right there and then she found herself still not prepared to see another man in full, beautiful nudity.
“Is this what you wanted, love?” He wondered, wrapping his hand around his cock, massaging it slowly. “Is it as you fantasised?”
Erika couldn’t take her eyes off him and was so taken she didn’t realise her jaw had dropped. He was big. She had always suspected it, but seeing him for the first time made her suddenly feel empty and desperate.
She released a giggle, pressing her face into Kye’s neck. “You both will be the ruin of me.”
Kyle softly kissed her temple and then cheek, moving to her ear, pushing her to look back at Will with his face. “Wasn’t that what you wanted, baby?”
“I,” Will began climbing on the bed, “want you to tell us exactly what you want us to do to you,” He got closer to them and softly scooped her face into his palms, capturing her eyes, “I want to know how you like to get fucked, love.”
She replied with a small whimper and just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, Kyle traced a hand to her neck, bringing her to look at him. “What are you in the mood for, baby?”
Her hands raced to both men, as she needed to hold onto them. Her skin was hot and felt tight around her own body, as she desperately needed to be touched, bit and licked. Just thinking about it made her core ache. She felt her loins tortured by the heaviness of her desire.
Kyle kissed her and then looked at Will, exchanging a complicit look. His attention was still focused on her. “Do you want to lead? Or would you like us to take care of you?”
Erika nodded, her eyes moved from Kyle to Will, nodding again to him. “You take it. The control, take it,” she said looking up at Kyle, permitting him to do of her as he pleased and decide if and when to let Will do the same.
“Ok, baby,” Kyle whispered, rewarding her with another kiss. Then, his grip around her throat became more assertive. He pulled her against his chest, making sure Will had complete view over her.
“Shall we show Will how good you are, pet?” He wondered to her ear, switching from his more affectionate pet name to the one he preferred using when he was going to be dominant. His eyes still pointed at Will, teasing him, studying his reaction. “What do you think?” Kyle continued, softly nibbling at her neck. “I think Will would like to see what a good girl you can be.”
Her eyelids fell heavy on her eyes as she too studied Will's reaction, feeling her skin quiver under the intense laser-hot focus he had on her. His eyes followed as one of Kyle’s hands moved on her abdomen and down. When the Aussie pushed his hands in between her legs, they both were left breathless. “Shit, pet,” the way he kept gently and devotedly referring to her by her pet name made Erika lose her train of thought. “Mh,” Kyle smiled proudly, releasing a low moan, “you are so wet. Soaked your panties.”
Erika trembled under the attentive touch of his fingers, trying to move her hips and have more. “Kyle,” she huffed, digging her nails into his forearm.
“You should have told us you were such a mess,” he still teased, raising his hand to show Will her juices sticking his fingers. “Do you want Will to touch you like this?” He wondered lowering his hand again, not giving her time to reply. This time, when he reached back, he pushed his hand under her panties, finding her clit with ease.
Erika trembled under his touch. She was already a mess and he had barely started to touch her. Kyle had no mercy either, he was determined to give Will a show. “Say it.”
The way Will was looking at her made her skin ache. “I do, I do,” she chanted, “please,”
Kyle took her words like an order and let go of her, looking at Will over her shoulder. A smile crossed them both and, after a nod of acknowledgement, Will took over.
He towered over her, his hands quickly tracing down her hips, gripping her thin underwear. “You won’t need these, will you, love?” He wondered and, as she replied with a whimper, he ripped her panties unapologetically, giggling to himself. As he pushed his hand in between her legs, Erika climbed his figure, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and dragging him down into a kiss.
Will pushed his fingers into her wet folds and welcomed her heat with a low, pleased moan that vibrated through his chest and straight into her belly. He didn’t give her any time to get used to him, the pace of his strokes was unforgiving. “Do you want to come?”
Erika nodded, rolling her eyes in the back of her skull, already feeling her abdomen heavily contracting as waves of pleasure crossed her.
“Nah,” Will wrapped his free hand around her throat and squeezed, “That’s not enough, love. Kyle said you’d be a good girl, so tell me. I wanna hear it.”
“Fuck-” She huffed, digging her nails into his shoulder, feeling herself already coming undone. “Make me come. Please Will, please,”
Will smirked. His grin made his lips bend in a dangerous curl. Merciless, Will stopped stroking her only to look down at her, amused. “Already begging?” He looked back at Kyle, “We haven’t even started with you. Are you sure you can take us?”
“I can take anything you guys have to give,”
“Careful, love, we might take you up on that.”
“Such a desperate mess,” Kyle started, dragging himself closer to her. The moment she realised she was squeezed in between them two it was like she breathed new life, and still, air wasn’t what she needed to stay alive anymore. Not as much as she needed them right there and then. Kyle kissed her shoulder, neck, and ear, pushing a hand in between her hair and pulling them, making her raise her head forcefully. “So pretty,” he smiled, still looking at her with the utmost devotion.
“She is.” Will agreed, “Keep her steady,” he ordered and proceeded to go back to touching her. Again, his touch was hot and skilled and his pace unforgiving. Kyle did as instructed, he held her, ready to catch her as Will pushed over the edge. “Yeah, come for us,” they both watched her in awe as she came. Kyle pushed a thumb into her mouth, trying to suffocate her loud moans, with not much success. As her orgasm shook her, Will pushed two fingers inside of her. She welcomed that invasion eagerly, moving her hips into his palm. “Fuck-” he groaned as her walls squeezed his fingers, “so fucking tight.”
Will guided her through her high and then let her catch her breath, as both men held her. He then raised his fingers to his mouth, sucking her juices off his digits right under her eyes. Erika gasped, looking at the way the pink tip of his tongue danced on his fingertips. “So fucking delicious.”
Taken by a ravaging desire, Erika pulled herself up, capturing Will’s lips into a kiss. Tasting herself on his tongue made her whine and purr, feeling as if she had just marked him. It was something primal, and she wasn’t ashamed of it.
The moment she caught her breath, Erika moved her attention to Kyle. Now distancing herself slightly from Will, she climbed on the other and found a comfortable nest into Kyle’s lap. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you still have your boxers on.” She dared, pushing her fingers into his hair, only to move them back on his forehead.
Kyle smiled. “Why? Does it bother you, pet?” He teased her, only prompting her to move her hips on him, rubbing herself intentionally on his erection.
Not satisfied, she then pushed her hand on the trapped bulge of his erection, grinning proudly up at him. He was so hard it made her mouth water. Knowing he wanted her so badly only fed her ego. “Yes,” she purred, massaging him and enjoying seeing how he moved under her spell. Erika watched his shoulder tensing and his Adam’s apple tremble in his throat. “Especially since I’d like to choke on your cock as Will fucks me.”
“Is that your little fantasy?” As Kyle wrapped his long arms around her, Will was the one who moved closer to them now.
He softly kissed her nacked shoulder, as his hands found her hips. He traced her skin up to her neck with his lips and she could feel he was smiling. “Is it, love?”
Erika had to remind herself to breathe and when she did she almost choked, trying to regain focus. She nodded, rolling her head back just enough to look up at Will. “Yes. To begin with,”
Will raised his eyebrows and sent an amused look to Kyle, his smile only widened. “Did you hear your little girl? To begin with, that’s impressive.”
Kyle pushed her hair behind her ear, attracting her attention back to him. “She has stamina. Right, pet?”
Erika's gaze became sharper. She looked at Kyle first and Will after and then she kissed them both. “You are driving me insane.” She confessed, “I have never craved sex like I am doing right now. Like a fucking animal. So,” Erika gave them both a soft push, only to get them to give her the space to position herself facing Kyle and giving her back to Will. “I want you both to fuck me until I beg you to stop. Until I fucking cry or pass out. Can you do that?” She wondered pointing both her indexes under their chins. “And I am not being a good girl right now,” she continued, lowering herself on all fours. “I am being very, very naughty and I want you to punish me. I want you to either shut me up or make me scream.”
Kyle grabbed her chin, making her look at him, purposely towering above her. With his thumb he pushed her lips open, toying with her, enjoying seeing how she followed his queue and flicked her tongue on his digit. “Heard that, mate?” He didn’t look away but wasn’t talking to her.
“Loud and clear, bruv,” Will’s hand followed her hips, prompting her ass up. He wrapped one of his strong arms around her hips, pulling her towards him, rubbing himself against her ass. “You want me to fuck you while your boyfriend watches? So fucking dirty.”
“S-shit, Will,” she breathed heavily, “Kyle.”
Calling for the Aussie only prompted Will to give her a push, bending her forward in front of him. He slid his hands across her thighs, first the outside and then, his fingers teased her, following her most sensitive skin on the inside, encouraging her. She felt his eyes burning on her skin, “Fuck me, you are perfect, love. Spread those legs for me, let me see your little pussy,” his hands moved around her glutes, spreading them and toying with her flesh.
She was blinded by desire by then. Her mind was fogged, everything she could think about was the cold feeling of air hitting her exposed skin and her aching, empty loins waiting to be filled.
As she arched her back, in an automatic response, Will sighed in approval, rewarding her with a playful slap on her ass. Then, he pushed his heavy cock on her, sliding it on her wet folds, teasing her clit. Erika whimpered, trembling under him. “You want it? Such a bad girl so desperate for this cock, uh? Who would have thought,” He then proceeded to push a finger inside of her, and then a second, “Fuck,” he gasped, “You are even wetter than before.”
“Please, Will-” as she begged him, her hands opened on the mattress, her arms already shaking under the pressure. She licked her lips.
A hot wave of pleasure crossed her, making her quiver. She released a soft moan, with her chin still in Kyle's grab. She looked up at him, silently begging to get what she asked for.
“What’s that, pet?” He wondered casually, pretending not to know what she wanted. Kyle pulled on her chin, making her bend between them. “You want my dick? What a dirty, dirty slut you are, begging to be filled both ends by two guys.”
In response, she simply nodded, releasing a choked moan, as her focus slid on his boxers. She was ready to drool, only seeing the underline of his cock pressing heavily into the soft material of his boxers.
Kyle let her go with a ruder push, granting her the freedom to do as she pleased and Erika finally reached for him. She took a moment to toy with him, rubbing her hands on his cock and balls from over his boxers. Erika followed his lower abdomen with her tongue until she reached the elastic of his underwear, it may have looked like she had some patience left, but the truth was she was done, she couldn’t wait any longer. She eagerly pulled his boxers down his thighs and grabbed his erection with both hands. As she traced his length with her tongue, Erika looked up, making sure Kyle was enjoying the view.
He released a grunt, pushing a hand into her hair, grabbing a handful. His other hand slid around her throat, grabbing at her solidly. “Are you ready, pet?”
As she nodded to him, Kyle’s attention briefly moved to Will signalling to him the same message. “Fuck her,” he ordered. “Give her exactly what she asked. Be rough, she likes it rough, right pet?” Kyle’s attention slid back on her.
Erika nodded, now entirely submissive, “Yes, please. Please, Will, just give it to me,”
Will pushed a hand up her back, following her spine, pushing her down. “Then, put your face on the mattress, love. Give me a minute and then Fletch can fuck your pretty throat, yes?”
She obeyed and as she lowered herself, both men released a pleased sigh.
Will positioned himself, prompting the tip of his fat cock against her entrance. He teased her for a couple of seconds and then, with no warning, grabbing onto her hips, he pushed himself inside of her with one sharp thrust, making sure he hit her as deeply as he possibly could. He ripped a loud moan out of her chest that she suffocated on the mattress, only prompting him to groan in response. He stretched her completely, taking her breath away. They both moaned as she melted in a victorious smile.
Will then gave her take a moment to get used to him. As she welcomed his size, squeezing him, Erika almost lost strength, feeling the need to let herself go. She was already seeing stars. She felt him in her belly, so deep inside of her she was sure she had never felt so filled.
“Good girl,” he rewarded her with a praise, before he started to move, slow at first in and out of her. “Such a good little girl with a good little pussy,”
Erika purred and whimpered, calling his name, as pleasure prevailed over her.
Every one of his pushes made her pleasure grow, bringing her to unashamedly moan for him, as the pressure of a new, rising orgasm nested across her stomach.
Will’s hands were solidly holding onto her hips as he fucked her from behind, guiding her to slide upon his cock. He was holding her so tightly it almost hurt, almost, because her pleasure was much greater, enough for her to forget about discomfort. Plus, she was hoping his clutch would leave bruises on her skin. There was something so profound, so intimate, about being marked during sex, and she loved to have her skin showing the traces of passion.
There was a pause. Kyle waited patiently, giving her the chance to get used to Will first, before he too moved, pulling on her hair to get her back up. She was ready to welcome him as soon as he did. Keeping her by her hair with one hand and wrapping his other around her throat, helping her balance herself, Kyle smiled dangerously to her, willing to give her exactly what she had asked for, nodding, as she opened her mouth for him. “Good girl, open wide,”.
Erika leaned in, sliding her tongue across his shaft, from base to tip, enjoying hearing his sigh of approval. She closed her lips around the tip of his cock, sucking on it and playing with it with her tongue, and then she pulled him deeper into the back of her throat. Kyle grabbed her air. And Will clutched on the soft edges of her hips, digging his cock deeper inside of her. So much she thought she felt his hit in her stomach.
Erika had never felt so filled up and she loved it. It made her skin shiver and her stomach tremble as pleasure buzzed through her entire being, making her arms and legs shake. She savoured the feeling of both their hands on her, as the warmth of both their bodies seeped through her skin. She was so lost in the pleasure Will was giving her and in the devotion she was determined to show Kyle as he fucked her throat, she didn’t even recognize the waves of an orgasm growing on her. To the point that, when she came, it was a surprise.
“Fuck,” Will grunted, “Yes, love, yes. Come for me. Such a good girl.” As Will praised her, guiding her through her orgasm with unforgiving thrusts, Kyle pulled back, granting her the possibility to voice her pleasure. He scooped her face up, making her look at him. “Are you coming, pet?”
She was only able to roll her eyes, nodding, unable to speak if not for convulsed whimpers.
Will didn’t stop. His thrusts kept coming through her trembling flesh. He guided her through her high and then right into overstimulation. Unforgiving and perfect. As her strength left her, he was ready to grab her a moment before she folded on the mattress. Will pulled her up, so her shoulders were pressed against his chest. He held her tight with an arm around her waist and a hand wrapped around her throat. “Oh, we are not done, love.” His whisper sounded so sweet and yet so threatening. She looked up at him, helpless, only able to whimper as her tired flesh was charging up again with more pleasure she didn’t even know she had. She felt like she could break under such pressure. Will’s fingers slid around her jaw, holding her as he nodded proudly. “Go on, love, give me another, I know you have it in you.” He then pulled her chin, turning her towards Kyle, “Let your boyfriend watch you coming on my cock again.”
Will slid his free hand between her thighs, easily finding her clit that he proceeded to massage, still pounding inside of her, breaking her breath with every hit. She grabbed his arm, digging her nails through his skin, doing her best to find something to hold onto as a new wave of pleasure washed over her. This second orgasm was so powerful that it blinded her for a moment. She cried out loud, calling for Will’s name multiple times, as he guided her through her pleasure, this time properly, granting her the chance to catch her breath, indulging her satisfied body, and supporting her. He whispered sweet praises to her ear, welcoming her pleasure with pure satisfaction.
As soon as Will loosened his hold on her, Erika thought she could fall, but Kyle was there to catch her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as Kyle took her away from Will’s arms and laid her on the mattress. He caressed and kissed her sweaty skin, praising her, granting her the possibility to rest her quivering body for a moment.
“Are you ok, baby?” Kyle checked on her, lying next to her.
Erika’s eyelids still felt too heavy for her to open her eyes but she had enough strength to losely raise a hand to his face and brush be back of her fingers on his cheek, grateful to his sweet attentions. She was only able to nod to his question. And yet a lazy smile crossed her lips.
She was fatigued, out of breath, maybe even tired, but not at all satisfied, besides the fact that her belly still vibrated with the echoes of the deep pleasure Will just gave her.
Kyle softly kissed her chin and then her lips, to which point she had gained enough focus back to let her fingers wander free into the loose locks of his hair. At the same time, without looking, she raised her other hand to Will and was pleasantly surprised when he took it into both his, lowering himself to softly kiss her knuckles.
“Was it good, love?” Will wondered, lying next to her and daring to deliver a timid kiss on her shoulder.
Erika chuckled, still out of breath from before. Words were still difficult to formulate. She suspected they had just fucked her brains out, which made her very happy. So, instead of trying to formulate some grateful praises, she turned to him and kissed him.
“That good, uh?” Kyle was ready to make a light joke as he pressed his smile into the crook of her neck, but before he could, Erika moved so quickly she surprised even herself.
“Mh, yes,” She rolled on top of him, grabbing both his wrists and pushing his arms above his head. Then she sat back, straddling him, looking down at him. Her eyes cruised avidly across his body, “But don’t think I am done with you.”
She then looked at Will too, just to make sure her message was clear. She meant every word from before.
She pushed her index under Will’s raised chin, enjoying seeing how he moved, attracted like a magnet to her, following her as if she had been pulling him up. When he sat back up and was close enough for a kiss, she smiled evilly, pushing him back down on the mattress.
It was clear she had just decided to take control and both men were willing to give her what she wanted. Both acted following her. When she needed them to lead, they were there to handle her, but now, just as easily, they both submitted themselves. It made her feel all-powerful.
Her attention moved back to Kyle. She pushed her hands on his chest and down, across his abdomen, following the solid line of his muscles with her nails, just to tease him. He didn’t dare to move, keeping his wrists crossed above his head as if she had tied him up.
“Now,” she grinned, as her hand slowly traced back to Kyle’s neck. He bent under her, stretching just as she liked, releasing a soft pleasurful sigh. “It’s your turn,” she proudly announced, only bringing Kyle to nod, completely lost in her design. Erika turned to Will, raising her chin, enjoying being the one towering over them both, now. “Are you going to watch me ride my boyfriend’s cock?” She wondered, knowing there was only one answer to her question, and still enjoying seeing how Will nodded. “Will you touch yourself as I fuck him? Pretending your hand is my little pussy?”
Will released a low hiss, nodding to her words. “Yes, ma’am.”
Erika’s eyes widened as his words hit her right in the stomach. A shiver crossed her and then became hot pleasure melting into her. Her lips bent into a warm, wide smile as she stretched and purred. “Look at you,” she grabbed Will’s chin, giving him a soft pull, “you already know exactly how I like to be pleased. Good boy.”
However, as soon as she let him go with a push, her attention went back to Kyle and never moved off him. She smiled at him as sweet and as dangerous as poison. She soaked in the devotion in her eyes and rolled her hips above his, willingly rubbing herself on his erection. The shiver that crossed him made her purr once more.
“You are such a pretty boy,” she praised him, her hands cruising across his torso. Kyle smiled at her letting her do her thing. She followed his arms and bent over him, grabbing his wrists and pushing them down behind his head as she kissed him.
He only pretended to try and fight her hold and resist her, but she knew if he wanted to break free, he could have easily overpowered her. The fact that he let her lead, especially after she had granted him the control, was intoxicating. She always liked to break the rules. Even her own.
“Did you like seeing another man fuck me?” She teased him sliding her nails across his chest, now deeper, making sure to leave marks.
Kyle gulped loudly and then he nodded. “I did.”
“Do you want me to fuck you, now?”
“I do.” He pushed himself slightly up, only enough to catch her lips in a famished, desperate kiss.
She didn’t wait much longer. Pushing a hand between their bodies she positioned him to her entrance and slid above him, taking every inch of his length. She pulled herself up, pushing on his chest and let her head fall backwards, welcoming his size with a moan. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good.”
She admired him as he welcomed her tight hold with departed lips and glimmering eyes fogged by desire.
Erika looked over to Will, willingly rolling her hips on Kyle’s cock only to see him mirroring her movement with his hand clutched around his erection. God, those two men, lost in their pleasure, laying underneath her, were gorgeous. The two most beautiful men she had ever laid eyes upon. Both were hers at that specific moment.
She stretched letting her head fall backwards, voicing her pleasure. Erika had absolutely no patience or desire to take it easy. She moved her hips up and down Kyle’s cock at a voracious pace and he let her choose the rhythm she desired, giving her everything she wanted. Understanding her need to get off once more, and being more than supportive about her desires.
The room filled with their moans. To Erika, it was like something had awakened inside of her. A wild, ravaging desire she had never had before. Something hidden and profound had woken a side of her she didn’t know. And she wondered if she would have ever been able to get back to the person she was only a few hours ago, after that night.
Erika grabbed Kyle by the neck and squeezed his throat. A satisfied, complicit wide smile crossed her lips as she encouraged him. Pleasure started to build inside of her, firing up her nerves, and gathering pressure around her stomach. The more she was given, the more she desired, it was like a sweet curse. And she started to doubt she could really reach full satisfaction.
She gave Kyle a pull, and, like driven by an invisible force, he moved, doing exactly what she wished him to, knowing what she needed. “What is it, baby?” He sat up underneath her and caged her in between her arms, now guiding her to ride him, holding her safely. “Are you coming again?”
Erika held solidly onto his shoulders, digging her nails into his back. She suffocated a loud moan into the crook of his neck and then nodded, feeling the intense waves of pleasure mounting inside of her.
“I need-” her breath was broken by a whimper as her fogged-up eyes searched for Will. She reached for him and just as Kyle did before, he too was ready to move for her.
He was quick to kneel by her side and took her hand into his, letting her palm nest on his chest. “What is it, love?”
“Tell us what you need, baby.”
“Just,” she whispered, “come with me, the both of you.”
Will’s free hand slid on the back of her neck, holding her head up as he pressed his lips on her temple and cheek, bringing her to first kiss him and then let her turn to kiss Kyle.
In the heat of the moment, she let go and came again. This time, as violent as the one before. Blinded by pleasure, her strength left her the second her body came undone. Erika abandoned herself between the two men’s arms, crying out their names.
Both Will and Kyle followed her closely filling her up and marking her skin.
Erika found herself thinking God, be praised, and had the impression she heard bells tolling, as the two men held her and their pleasure dissipated in the thick, hot air surrounding them.
It was a funny thought. She wasn’t even religious. An innocent giggle rolled through her chest as both Kyle and Will laid her back on the mattress with care.
“Good?” Kyle was short-breathed and still leaned into her, only bringing her to roll and snuggle against him, rubbing her face against his neck, grateful. “So good.”
Will, on the other side of her, fixed a pillow under her head and then softly kissed her shoulder. “You are something else, love,” feeling his smile on her skin made her stretch against him and turn, looking for a kiss, “How the fuck am I supposed to get over you now?”
“Don’t,” she suggested. It was the first thing that came into her mouth before she could even think about anything with more sense. “Stay.” She was aware what she had just said was more complicated than that. It implied things that she wasn’t lucid enough to comprehend and emotions she was too drunk into pleasure to see clearly, but it seemed to soothe everyone all the same on the current plan.
Will still exchanged a look with Kyle, waiting for his approval. He wouldn’t have stepped into another man’s bed, with his partner, if he wasn’t sure he was welcomed, that much was clear. Though, Kyle was nothing but generous and simply welcomed Will with a friendly, soft slap on the cheek. “Good boy, Billy Goat,” then the Aussie leaned into Erika kissing her softly, “Let’s get you cleaned up,”
Before he could move away, she held him down making him look back at her. “I love you, Kyle Fletcher.”
“Whatever,” 
36 notes · View notes
elitehoe · 1 year
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Kyle and Mark look so fucking good with their belts stacked like that
16 notes · View notes
mystic-story-lover · 1 year
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♤ MASTERLIST ♤
☆ means smut ○ means it's part of a series
♤ 1 CALLED MANDERS ♤
■ I'm Yours Cowboy
♤ ACE AUSTIN ♤
■ I Don't Share What's Mine ☆
■ And New ☆
♤ ADAM COLE ♤
■ Do You Hate Me
♤ ADAM PAGE ♤
■ Cowboy Like Me
■ Texas Death ☆
♤ ALAN ANGELS ♤
♤ ALEX SHELLEY ♤
■ Long Story Short
■ Congratulations
■ My Champion
♤ ALEX ZAYNE ♤
♤ CHRIS BEY ♤
■ And New ☆
♤ CHRIS SABIN ♤
■ Congratulations
♤ CHRISTIAN CAGE ♤
♤ CLARK CONNORS ♤
■ Surprise
♤ DAN "DRILLA" MOLONEY ♤
♤ DAVID FINLAY ♤
■ Let Me Help You
♤ EDDIE KINGSTON ♤
♤ EL PHANTASMO ♤
■ Injury
■ Stipulations
■ Confessions
♤ HOOK ♤
♤ JAY WHITE ♤
■Positives and Negatives
■ It Should've Been Me
♤ JOE HENDRY ♤
♤ JON MOXLEY ♤
♤ JUNGLE BOY ♤
♤ JT DUNN ♤
♤ KENNY OMEGA ♤
■ I'm Saying Yes
■ Apologies
♤ KEVIN BLACKWOOD ♤
♤ KIP SABIAN ♤
♤KYLE FLETCHER♤
■ Play the Game
♤ LANCE ARCHER ♤
♤ MANCE WARNER ♤
♤ MATT JACKSON ♤
■ See You Back At My Place
♤ MATTHEW JUSTICE ♤
■ Save Me
♤ MATT TAVEN ♤
♤ MIKE BAILEY ♤
♤ NICK JACKSON ♤
♤ ORANGE CASSIDY ♤
♤ RICKY STARKS ♤
♤ RODERICK STRONG ♤
■ Stay with Me ☆
♤ SAMOA JOE ♤
♤ TRENT BERETTA ♤
♤ WARDLOW ♤
♤ WHEELER YUTA ♤
♤ ZACK SABRE JR. ♤
26 notes · View notes
dxnnesslut · 1 year
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fuck i’m tempted to do a kyle fletcher smut but i’m insecure about my writing
2 notes · View notes
daddyhausen · 2 years
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。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。 「 WHO I WRITE FOR 」 。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。 「 WRESTLING 」 。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。
adam cole
adam copeland
alex reynolds
anna jay
bandido
bray wyatt
britt baker
brody king
bron breakker
buddy matthews
cameron grimes
cash wheeler
christian cage
chuck taylor
claudio castagnoli
cm punk
cody rhodes
damian priest
danhausen
daniel garcia
dante martin
david finlay
dax harwood
dominik mysterio
drew mcintyre
eddie kingston
el phantasmo
ethan page
evil uno
finn balor
hangman adam page
hook
jade cargill
jamie hayter
jay briscoe
jeff hardy
jey uso
jimmy uso
jon moxley
john silver
jungle boy
julia hart
jay white
kenny omega
kevin owens
kris statlander
kyle fletcher
kyle o’reilly
kip sabian
la knight
malakai black
mark davis
mjf
matt jackson
nick jackson
nick wayne [ no smut ]
orange cassidy
ortiz
penelope ford
pete dunne
preston vance
randy orton
roman reigns
rhea ripley
ricky starks
ridge holland
ruby soho
sami zayn
seth rollins
stu grayson
skye blue
santana
swerve strickland
trent beretta
toni storm
tony d’angelo
undertaker
wardlow
wheeler yuta
willow nightingale
will ospreay
zack sabre jr.
。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。 「 BANDS 」 。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。
damiano david — måneskin
ethan torchio — måneskin
thomas raggi — måneskin
victoria de angelis — måneskin
chris motionless — motionless in white
ricky horror — motionless in white
vinny mauro — motionless in white
will ramos — lorna shore
vessel — sleep token
ii — sleep token
iii — sleep token
iv — sleep token
oli sykes — bring me the horizon
noah sebastian — bad omens
hozier
。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。 「 MARVEL 」 。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。
bucky barnes
loki laufeyson
miguel o’hara
peter parker [ mcu + tasm ]
steve rogers
thor odinson
。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。 「 GAMES/TV 」 。 ・ : * ˚ : ✧ 。
joel miller — the last of us [ tv series ]
thomas shelby — peaky blinders
arthur shelby — peaky blinders
alfie solomons — peaky blinders
simon “ghost” riley — cod/mw2
könig — cod/warzone
capitan john prince — cod/mw2
johnny “soap” mctavish — cod/mw2
kyle “gaz” garrick — cod/mw2
keegan p. russ —cod/ghosts
keep in mind this ain’t the final list !
70 notes · View notes
writtingrose · 3 years
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Wrestlers I Write For
I will write Fluff for any wrestler. However, I will only write smut for the list below
I absolutely do not write for Roman Reigns
AEW
Adam Cole
Adam Page
Cash Wheeler
Kenny Omega
Jay White
Juice Robinson
Jungle Boy
Kyle Fletcher
Mark Davis
Matt Jackson
Nick Jackson
Will Osprey
Remember to read my rules before sending in a Request. They are pinned to the top of my page
Otherwise, if you’re not sure, ASK.
77 notes · View notes
wionews · 6 years
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IPL auction: Complete players' list and their base price
The IPL 2018 auction will take place in Bengaluru on January 27 and 28 where a total of 578 players will go under the hammer.
A fierce bidding war is expected as Indian stars Gautam Gambhir, off-spinners Ravichandran Ashwin and Harbhajan Singh, Ajinkya Rahane, mystery spinner Kuldeep Yadav and openers KL Rahul and Murali Vijay will be on the franchises’ radar.
The list also includes the overseas players, including Glenn Maxwell, Chris Gayle, Shane Watson, Rashid Khan and Eoin Morgan. 
In the 10th season, Mumbai Indians led by Rohit Sharma defeated Pune to lift the IPL trophy for the third time.
The 11th season of the much-awaited Indian Premier League will begin on 6th April 2018.  
The opening ceremony of the tournament will take place on April 6 in Mumbai while the first match of the new season will be played at the same venue on April 7.
He further informed that the tournament will continue until May 27 with Mumbai once again hosting the final match.
Here is the complete list of players and their base price.
Base Price ₹2,00,00,000
Batsman KL Rahul, Murali Vijay, Brendon McCullum, Eoin Morgan, Cameron White, Chris Lynn, Colin Ingram
Bowler  Josh Hazlewood, Rashid Khan Arman, Karn Sharma, Yuzvendra Singh Chahal, Mitchell Johnson, Liam Plunkett, Pat Cummins
Wicket Keeper Quinton De Kock, Dinesh Karthik, Robin Uthappa
All-Rounder James Faulkner, Marcus Stoinis, Chris Woakes, Angelo Mathews, David Willey, Corey Anderson, Kedar Jadhav
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Base Price ₹1,50,00,000
Batsman Aaron Finch, Jason Roy, Hashim Amla, Evin Lewis, Travis Head, Shaun Marsh, Michael Klinger, Lendl Simmons, David Miller
Bowler  Kagiso Rabada, Trent Boult, Kyle Abbott, Kuldeep Singh Yadav, Nathan Coulter-Nile, Amit Mishra, Mohit Sharma, Nathan Lyon, Steven Finn, Harry Gurney, Mark Wood, Jaydev Unadkat
Wicket Keeper Jonny Bairstow, Jos Buttler, Peter Handscomb
All-Rounder Moises Henriques, Ravi Bopara, Jason Holder, Moeen Ali, M.S. Washington Sundar
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Base Price ₹1,00,00,000
Batsman Manish Pandey, Dwayne Smith, Alex Hales
Bowler  Tymal Mills, Andrew Tye, Mohammed Siraj, Adam Zampa, Mohammad Shami, Dale Steyn, Mustafizur Rahman, Samuel Badree, Imran Tahir, Tim Southee, Jason Behrendorff, Mitchell McClenaghan, Lasith Malinga, Ranganath Vinay Kumar, Umesh Yadav, Piyush Chawla
Wicket Keeper Parthiv Patel, Wriddhiman Saha, Sanju Samson, Sam Billings   
All-Rounder Daniel Christian, Carlos Brathwaite, Ben Cutting, Jean-Paul Duminy, Shane Watson, Chris Jordan, Tom Curran
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Base Price ₹75,00,000
Batsman Martin Guptill, Darren Bravo, Cheteshwar Pujara, Ross Taylor, Usman Khawaja   
Bowler  Peter Siddle, Jerome Taylor, Lockie Ferguson, Morne Morkel, Ishant Sharma, Shardul Narendra Thakur, Adam Milne, Marchant De Lange   
Wicket Keeper Naman Ojha, Johnson Charles, Luke Ronchi    
All-Rounder Darren Sammy, Colin De Grandhomme, Yusuf Pathan, Adil Rashid, Joe Denly, Samit Patel, Wayne Parnell
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Base Price ₹50,00,000
Batsman Reeza Hendricks, Mandeep Hardev Singh, Anton Devcich, Upul Tharanga, Karun Nair, Billy Stanlake, Joe Burns, Manoj Tiwary, Saurabh Tiwary, Tamim Khan, Aiden Markram, Faiz Fazal, Abhinav Mukund, Venugopal Rao, Dean Elgar, Najibullah Zadran   
Bowler  Ben Laughlin, Ronsford Beaton, Dhawal Kulkarni, Sandeep Sharma, Gulbadin Naib, Ish Sodhi, Duanne Olivier, Michael Beer, Sachithra Senanayaka, Dawlat Zadran, Aaron Phangiso, Beuran Hendricks, Lakshan Sandakan, Aravind Sreenath, Barinder Singh Sran, Sean Abbott, Ben Wheeler, Kesrick Williams, Lungisani Ngidi, Ashoke Dinda, Praveen Kumar, Mujeeb Zadran, Pragyan Ojha, Jhye Richardson, Rahul Sharma, Joel Paris, Varun Aaron, Parvinder Awana, Munaf Patel, Scott Boland, Dushmantha Chameera, Shannon Gabriel, Akila Dhananjaya, Keshav Maharaj, Dane Paterson, Ben Hilfenhaus, Seth Rance, Fawad Ahmed, Tabrez Shamsi, Neil Wagner, Shapoor Zadran, Abhimanyu Mithun, Sheldon Cottrell, Matt Henry, Nuwan Kulasekara, Suranga Lakmal, Manpreet Gony, Pankaj Singh, Sudeep Tyagi   
Wicket Keeper Glenn Phillips, Denesh Ramdin, Niroshan Dickwella, Kusal Janith Perera, Nicolas Pooran, Alex Carey, Chadwick Walton, Tom Latham, M Shahzad Mohammadi, Shafiqullah Shafaq, Ambati Rayudu   
All-Rounder Gurkeerat Singh Mann, John Hastings, Sikandar Butt, Graeme Cremer, Rishi Dhawan, Solomon Mire, Ryan McLaren, Parveez Rasool, Shabbir Rahaman, Vernon Philander, Abul Raju, Paul Stirling, Malcolm Waller, Dilshan Munaweera, Thisara Perera, Pawan Negi, Seekkuge Prasanna, Ashton Agar, Mohammad Nabi, Rahmat Shah Zarmatai, Dwaine Pretorius, David Wiese, Asela Gunarathna, Dhananjaya Silva, Andile Phehlukwayo, Jonathan Carter, Rovman Powell, Mitchell Santner, Jayant Yadav, Irfan Pathan, Marlon Samuels, Andre Fletcher, Stuart Binny, Hilton Cartwright, Dasun Shanka, Dawid Malan, Farhaan Behardien, Jon-Jon Trevor Smuts, Ashley Nurse, Scott Kuggeleijn, Robbie Frylinck, Wiaan Mulder, Colin Munro, Vaughn Van Jaarsveld, Rayad Emrit, Mohammad Mahmudullah, Isuru Udana
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Base Price ₹40,00,000
Batsman Tom Cooper
Bowler  Thomas Helm, Mitchell Swepson, Shahbaz Nadeem, T Natarajan   
Wicket Keeper Ishan Kishan
All-Rounder Rajat Bhatia, Kevon Cooper, Vijay Shankar, Krunal Pandya, Deepak Hooda, Michael Neser, Jofra Archer
==========
Base Price ₹30,00,000
Batsman Suryakumar Yadav, Christiaan Jonker, Vishnu Solanki, Alex Ross, Daniel Hughes   
Bowler  Iqbal Abdullah, Siddarth Kaul, Anureet Singh, Pradeep Sangwan, Basil Thampi, Gurvinder Singh, Aniket Choudhary, Ankit Singh Rajpoot    
Wicket Keeper Ben McDermott  
All-Rounder Cameron Delport, Javon Searless, Roshon Primus   
==========
Base Price ₹20,00,000
Batsman Manprit Juneja, Mayank Siddana, Armaan Jaffer, Shivam Chauhan, Sachin Baby, Prithvi Shaw, Ankeet Bawane, Siddhesh Dinesh Lad, Apoorv Vijay Wankhade, Virat Singh, Marcus Harris, Ricky Bhui, Rassie Van der Dussen, Rajesh Bishnoi Sr, Paras Dogra, D.B Ravi Teja, Paul Valthaty, Amandeep Khare, Rinku Singh, Tanmay Agarwal, Ankit Lamba, Sarthak Ranjan, Priyank Panchal, Pratham Singh, Ishank Jaggi, Manjot Kalra, Anmolpreet Singh, Ruturaj Gaikwad, Sharad Lumba, Shubham Singh Rohilla, Himanshu Rana, Akshath Reddy, R Samarth, Mohammed Asaduddin, Abhinav Manohar, Rohan Marwaha, Rajat Patidar, Yash Sehrawat, Ravi Chauhan, Samit Gohil, Ramandeep Singh, Abhijeet Tomar, Jiwanjot Singh Chauhan, Abhimanyu Easwaran, Chirag Gandhi, Shubman Gill, Rahul Tripathi, Manan Vohra, Mayank Agarwal, Unmukt Chand       Bowler  Syed Khaleel Ahmed, Nidheesh M D Dinesan, Junior Dala, Karan Thakur, Anurag Verma, Lizaad Williams, Tanveer Ulhaq, Kushang Patel, Shelly Shaurya, A. Aswin Crist, Aaron Summers, Royston Dias, Kartik Tyagi, Tejas Singh Baroka, Abu Nechim Ahmed, Rahul Shukla, Bhargav Bhatt, Shadab Jakati, Sarabjit Ladda, Pravin Tambe, Ben Dwarshuis, Ajit Chahal, Deepak Chaudhary, Pradeep Dadhe, Domnic Joseph Muthuswamy, Babasafi Pathan, Monu Singh, Pradeep Thippeswamy, Kuldip Yadav, Krishnappa Gowtham, K.C. Cariappa, Mihir Hirwani, Akshay Wakhare, Manjeetkumar Chaudhary, Kulwant Khejroliya, Lukman Iqbal Meriwala, Navdeep Saini, Vikas Tokas, Yuvraj Chudasama, Rahul Chahar, Ronit More, Veer Pratap Singh, Varun Khanna, Pawan Suyal, Sandeep Warrier, J Suchith, Ashish Hooda, R. Sai Kishore, Rahil S Shah, Harmeet Singh, Ishwar Chaudhary, Parikshit Valsangkar, Avesh Khan, Amit Mishra, Cheepurupalli Stephen, Rajwinder Singh, Shubek Gill, Vinay Choudhary, Mayank Markande, Zahir Khan Pakteen, Ankit Soni, Lalit Yadav, Pardeep Sahu, Chama Milind, Umar Nazir Mir, Yarra Raj, Oshane Thomas, Athisayaraj V, Zeeshan Ansari, Siddharth Desai, Jiyas K, Alexandar Rama Doss, Nathu Singh, M. Ashwin, Shivil Kaushik, Baltej Dhanda, Armaan Jain, Mohsin Khan, Mukesh Kumar Singh, Arshdeep Singh, Rishi Arothe, Asif K M, Ravi Kiran Majeti, Ishan Porel, Aditya Thakare, Sandeep Lamichhane, Subodh Bhati, Mohan Prasath, Abhishek Sakuja, Javed Khan, Ashok Sandhu, Tushar Deshpande, Sayan Ghosh, Jaskaran Singh, Prasidh Krishna, Rajneesh Gurbani  
Wicket Keeper
Ankush Bains, C.M. Gautam, Aditya Tare, N Jagadeesan, Nikhil Shankar Naik, Smit Patel, K.B Arun Karthik, Kona Srikar Bharat, Shreevats Goswami, Mahesh Rawat, Gitansh Khera, Jitesh Sharma, Vishnu Vinod, Sheldon Jackson, Kedar Devdhar, Prashant Chopra, Anuj Rawat, Harvik Desai, Anmol Malhotra, Dhruv Raval, Rohith Ravikumar, Mohammad Nazim Siddiqui, Mayank Sidhu, Sandeep Kumar Tomar, Sadiq Hassan Kirmani, Jaskaranvir Singh Sohi, Abhishek Gupta, Hamza Tariq, Rahul Yadav, Kyle Mayers    
All-Rounder
Vyshak Vijay Kumar, Jaydev Shah, Shashank Singh, Manzoor Dar, Aman Khan, Diwesh Pathania, Shamss Mulani, Salman Nizar, Dafedar, Khizar Anwar, Mandeep Singh, Shubham Ranjane, Sidhant Dobal, Vinod Kumar C.V., Thomas Kaber, Midhun S, Akhil Arvind Herwadkar, Shamar Springer, Ashok Menaria, Jack Wildermuth, Odean Smith, Yogesh Nagar, Milind Kumar, Shubham Agrawal, Akshdeep Nath, Yomahesh Kumar, Vivek Singh, Mohammed Bilal, Arun Chaprana, Rajat Paliwal, Abhimanyu Rana, Sarang Rawat, Fabid, Farook Ahmed, Arjun Sharma, Shreyas Gopal, Akash Sudan, Sandeep Bavanaka, Karan Kaila, Aryaman Vikram Birla, Gaurav Gambir, Ankit Kaushik, Patrick Kruger, Sohraab Dhaliwal, Aditya Sarvate, Amish Sidhu, Shadley Van Schalkwyk, Vignesh Moorthy, Arjun Nair, Kanishk Seth, Shivam Dubey, Hanuma Vihari, Puneet Datey, Ninad Rathva, Siddhant Sharma, Mrinank Singh, Manan Sharma, Chintan Gaja, Amit Mishra, Jalaj Saxena, Bipul Sharma, Shreekant Wagh, Syed, Mehdi Hasan, Harshal Patel, Sumit Ruikar, Ashish Reddy, Kuldeep Hooda, Shaurya Sanandia, Vaibhav Rawal, Pankaj Jaswal, Anustup Majumdar, Dhruv Shorey, Kshitiz Sharma, Swapnil Singh, Himmat Singh, Writtick Chatterjee, Chris Green, Ryan Ninan, Rohan Prem, Rahul Tewatia, Puneed Datey, R. Sanjay Yadav, Imtiaz Ahmed, Atit Sheth, Dinesh Salunkhe, Pavan Deshpande, Shivam Sharma, Chaitanya Bishnoi, Indrajith Baba, Jatin Saxena, Shivam Mavi, Sagar Trivedi, Amit Verma, Akash Parkar, Nitish Rana, Anukul Roy, Akash Bhandari, Pratyush Singh, Ankit Sharma, Anirudha Ashok Joshi, Saurabh Kumar, Praveen Dubey, Kunal Chandela, Aamir Gani, Pulkit Narang, Riyan Parag, Karanveer Singh, Sumeet Verma, Cameron Gannon, Akshay Karnewar, Tajinder Dhillon, Govinda Poddar, Rajesh Sharma, Deepak Chahar, Antony Dhas, Kishore Pramod Kamath, Nikhil Gangta, Jay Gokul Bista, Sumanth Bodapati, Mahipal Lomror, Deepak Punia, Mayank Dagar, Kamlesh Nagarkoti, Darcy Short, Baba Aparajith, Abhishek Sharma, Milind Tandon.
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majesticwren · 2 months
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here we go with part III, this is 12k of unhinged feral energy; be advised, this entire project is done solely for my pleasure, I am indulging myself so much with this. I just needed to write will and fletch and had to create this stuff. the angst that it carries (because yes there will be more coming - I am very good very evil) it's the energy I crave please don't come for me and trust the process I'll feed you smut. I am planning shit loads of fluff too but it will be a rollercoaster overall. it is edited but not proofread. enjoy.
trigger warning/s: angst angst angst, poly relationship dynamics, reference to sex, reference to threesome, shit loads of misunderstandings and miscommunication, swearing, jealousy and mild possessiveness, OFC is unhinged and is her own trigger warning - she can't deal with her healthy relationship and leaps into self destruction, smut!, threesome, unprotected sex (kids, know your sexed! this is not an example is a fanfic use your condoms) daddy and praise kinks, chocking, dirty talk, binding, kyle is very dom and will likes to be called daddy but he is also a sub in here, don't come for me
<- part I | <- Part II prequel part I -> | part II -> | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist
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The party was proceeding. She couldn’t say it was going well, but it was going. The two-dozen people they invited were enjoying themselves at least. They were mostly Mark’s friends, which included old colleagues from RevPro and a few other people they got to know in the years they lived in the city, plus a handful of Erika and Kyle’s friends, just for variety. Food and drinks served. Music and chattering filled the room as people gathered and mingled. On the surface, everything seemed good.
It did feel like the longest time of her life though.
When Kyle and Mark arrived, she felt able to breathe for the first time. Grateful, mostly for the unaware support their arrival granted her, Erika leapt into her brother’s arms, clinging onto his solar, happy energy and protection to feel shielded.
Everything was fine, she kept reminding herself.
“I am so happy to see you,” she whispered into Mark’s ear as he lifted her, bear-hugging her.
“I missed you too, little menace,” he chuckled. “Let me look at you,” Mark handled her like she weighed nothing, lifting her so he could look at her face, “Yep, still the same little gremlin.”
Erika hugged him some more, finding refuge in his chest. “You gotta tell me all about the news from back home,”
“Ah, you know, always the usual. Mum misses you so much, she cried a lot. It’s kinda hard to watch sometimes. Dad on the other side is unaware as usual. He has finished building the shed though!”
“Are you joking!? You mean the shed?”
Mark nodded as a massive smile nested on his lips. “Oh, yes, baby. Fucking mental.”
“I knew early retirement would have done him good!”
“God,” Mark chuckled, “Brace yourself because now he needs a new project.”
“Oh, god,” she chuckled with him.
Erika knew seeing Mark was everything she needed to feel better. Saying she had missed him wasn’t enough. She could already feel herself healing inside. Her pain wasn’t disappearing, but there was a light that was shining in her now. Mark was always able to pick her up in a way not even Kyle could. Her brother had always been her biggest support system and best friend. But he was more than that. He saw her growing up. Helped her through her lowest and loved her regardless, even when others had given up on her. He was the part of her family she couldn’t bear to live apart.
“Listen, listen, I’ve got a good one for you.” Continued Mark, excitement glimmering through his eyes. He was equally happy to see her. “Auntie Janice has a thirty-two-year boyfriend. Which is weird. I’ve met him. Nice bloke. But he’s basically my age so, weird.”
“Ugh,” she shivered, trying to shake off the repulsive thought of her aunt in a relationship with a guy half her age. “She is mental.”
“Firecracker,” Mark chuckled, “Oh and Virna got married.”
“Virna? Your high school sweetheart and my babysitter Virna?”
“Yes.”
“The crazy Virna that still tries to hook up with you any time you are back home?”
“That’s the one!”
“Did you go break her heart?” Erika wondered pocking his cheek only causing Mark to melt in a loud burst of laughter.
“Of course I did, gotta keep up our family tradition of stealing hearts. Fucked her and then her husband-to-be,” Mark smiled all proud and unashamed, only causing her to shake her head.
“And you call me a menace, Mr?”
Mark was still laughing wholeheartedly as he put her down, to which point it was Kyle’s turn to pull her into a hug she didn’t refuse. She nuzzled into his chest, magnetically attracted to him. Erika inhaled his scent deep into her lungs, wishing she could travel in the future, to when everyone would be gone and she could find soothe in his arms.
“I am sorry for before,” he whispered to her ear before kissing her forehead.
Erika shook her head sliding her arms around his waist, looking for contact in a way that was more than habit, by now. It was natural. “Don’t be. I am sorry.”
Kyle looked down into her eyes, cupping her face into his palms. His touch was soft and warm. He didn’t only pick up her gaze, but her entire spirit too. He studied her features with a gentle smile curling his full lips, “I love you.” He reminded her, “And you look beautiful,”
“Thank you, you are not bad either” she melted into a smile looking him up and down, “I love you too.” She then said, popping up on her tippy toes to kiss him.
“Everything ok?” He wondered after, checking the place out.
Erika nodded, lying, pushing all that had happened in the back of her mind. “Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Kyle answered looking for Will, who was taking his time to welcome Mark with a big hug and heavy pats on the back. “Welcome home, bruv. ‘Was starting to miss you around here.”
“I’m so back, mate. How the hell are you?”
Erika did her best to ignore their conversation. It was so difficult for her to hate Will when he was so affectionate with her brother. Or with Kyle.
After that, Erika spent most of her time hanging around Mark but would leave anytime Will approached them, granting him the chance to spend time with his best friend. She did the same thing when it was about Kyle, leaving him to have some fun with Mark and Will and just mingling with the rest of their friends.
But she should have assumed she wouldn’t have been allowed to hide for long.
“What’s happening between you and Will?” Wondered suddenly Mark, surprising her while she was going for a refill on her wine. Surprisingly, she hadn’t given in to the booze. But she did sip on some wine to grant her some liquid courage to survive the evening.
Erika choked and cleared her voice, looking up at her brother. “What do you mean?” She tried to play coy, smiling at the catering attendant who served her.
Mark read right through her pretending and whipped a wise smile, taking the piss out of her. “What would I ever mean!?” He wondered jokingly, “Do you think I was born yesterday, little one?”
Erika huffed and, taking a sip of her wine, she looked through the room, directly searching for Will. He was chatting to Kyle and a couple of her friends about something. They laughed. Will grabbed Kyle by the nape of the neck and pulled him under his arm, showing him off. They both had such a big smile printed on their faces, glimmering eyes and blushed cheeks. Her heart skipped a beat.
It was so unfair.
I wish l never met you.
Her own terrible words echoed into her mind, making her cringe at the thought of what their reality had become.
She was the extra piece. She was the sore, exposed nerve that didn’t work. Will had no problem with either Kyle or Mark and if she dared to explain what was happening between them, she was terrified of the consequences for the trio.
“Nothing.” She looked back, shrugging, “We just didn’t see eye to eye on something.”
“And for that reason, you aren’t talking or sharing the same square meter of space?”
“Yep.”
Mark lowered himself to her height and studied her features closely. “Nah. Don’t believe you. What did you disagree about?”
“The canapés.” She lied, pulling a kiss-ass smile. Mark read right through her, might as well not even try to make up a good lie.
“Fuck off,” he chuckled, “I don’t believe you for a second.”
Erika pointed at herself and her big glass of white wine. “Do I look like someone who wants to talk about the only person I am avoiding at the party?”
“Oh, so you are avoiding him,” Mark looked back at Will, this time his curiosity was undeniable, whereas, for her, she had nothing but melancholy when she looked at him.
This time, as if she had called him, Will was looking in their direction. They made eye contact. Erika didn’t look back, she challenged him raising her chin. He was going to be the one looking down if he so despised her. Though Will didn’t.
Mark replied with something else but she wasn’t listening anymore.
Time slowed down while she was hooked on Will’s gaze and wasn’t able to let go. For only a moment, she thought she had seen the spark of interest in his eyes. But she was sure she was imagining things; it was gone in a heartbeat. Still, he didn’t look away either.
He smiled at one of the two girls. She had her hand on his bicep and was laughing at something he had said. Will leaned in, saying something into her ear. His gaze didn’t move from Erika's.
She had never been the jealous type. Never once in her life. But she was now.
“That sure looks like nothing, dude,” Mark poked her, though this time he wasn’t amused but puzzled. Erika quickly looked back up at him but he was busy scrutinising Will’s behaviour. “What’s going on, Erika?”
“Everyone’s favourite question,” she smiled sarcastically behind the rim of her glass, taking a sip of wine. “We argued. End of story. Let it go, Mark.”
She should have known Mark wouldn’t have let it go, for the life of her. He was only able to fix things. Especially when it involved her. He was the protector, and knowing something was wrong wasn’t something he could ignore, ever. But he at least accepted her request momentarily.
“Wanna do shots and then dig into those mini sausage rolls?” He offered instead.
“Hell yeah, let’s see if I can still beat you at not making faces as I down straight vodka.”
“You are on, I’ve trained for this moment,” Mark rubbed his hands together.
“C’mon old man,” she giggled.
It was nice. Pleasant. For a little while, she allowed herself to celebrate her brother without thinking about the rest.
They took two shots of vodka each and then proceeded to down countless tiny sausage rolls each, all the while Mark was ready to fill her up with stories from home.
Maybe, if the evening had continued that way, she thought she’d be able to make it, after all. Sounded nice. Not the win she wanted but a win all the same.
“You should consider popping back home as soon as your schedule clears,”
“I wish,” she huffed, “I’ve got back-to-back events from now to September with AEW, RevPro and Japan. Summer season is always busy.”
“Ok,” Mark nodded, “you do not have to take a month-long break like I did. Japan is an awful close home if you want to pop down for a couple of days. Everyone would love to see you.”
She felt slightly uncomfortable with the idea. She loved her family, there were many reasons why she was grateful to them. But she was also a very different person now from the girl she was at nineteen when she left Australia. She didn’t like going back because it often reminded her about all the wrong she had done and everything she had messed up and missed because she was a difficult teenager.
Just like he could read her mind, Mark patted her back affectionately, “I know, I am sorry. I had to say it. Mum would love to see you.”
“I know, I know. I don’t know how to carry myself with pride around there. Here or while I work it’s different. But back home?”
“Back home you are one of the most famous people they’d know! Your name has been published, and the pictures you take are in magazines and on many companies’ socials and promos. There’s nothing you need to be ashamed of anymore.”
“Ah, on that I disagree.” Erika leaned her head on Mark’s shoulder, releasing a small huff, “But you are right. Maybe as soon as Kyle can take a couple of days off too.”
“Sure you want to bring him home with you?”
“Yeah? Why?” She suspiciously looked up at her brother, “They’ve known and loved Kyle for ages! What do you know I don’t?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he tapped his fingers on his chin. “Although mum wants grandchildren so expect the conversation from her.”
Erika chuckled and threw a soft punch at his shoulder, shaking her head. “You are unbelievable! Why do I have to have this conversation? I’m only a little girl! Look at you, thirty-two, strong, handsome, famous and still a scoundrel.”
“Which is why the pressure is on you. You and Kyle have been together what? Four years now?”
“And we love our childless life, thank you.”
Mark raised his hands in the air, trying his best to appear as innocent as possible. “Hey, I am just the messenger. Talk to your mother. When she started this conversation with me, I yanked out of that place as fast as I could.”
“Fuck me,” she chuckled, pinching the bridge of her nose, “that woman never changes.”
She hadn’t felt as light-hearted in a long time. Mark brought peace to her even then when she thought she was going to drown. Which was the main reason why, when they got interrupted, she wasn’t all that happy. She wished she could have just spent the rest of the event just chatting to her brother, but she was aware that it would have been selfish and defeated the purpose of a social event.
Erika had felt her friend’s attention even before she said anything to her and immediately turned to her, pushing out a forced smile. The fact that she was the one who was standing a little too close to Will some time ago didn’t have anything to do with her sudden change of mood, of course.
“Hey bestie,” Beth’s smile was wide and full of promises and expectations. Her cheeks were blushed, she looked like she just come from a day at the beach. She was a pretty girl, talented too, they had met at the gym some months ago and took the habit of going out for a meal every now and then when Erika was back in London. Erika had always liked her enough, up to that very moment. “Hey Mark,” Beth chirped, “good to see you, how was Australia?”
“Good, thank you, but I am glad to be back.” Mark’s attention slid back on Erika, “I’ll leave you to it,” he said leaning to kiss her forehead fondly, “Just see not to cause trouble.”
“I’ll do my best,” when he slipped away, Erika turned to Beth doing everything in her power to appear as friendly as possible.
She wasn’t even mad at her. She couldn’t be. She understood Will attracted people, he had a talent like that, once you were in his orbit you couldn’t get out, he was a true star. If anything, she was even more upset at him because he had so much power over her to make her childish and jealous.
“Hey,” Erika pushed her thought in the back of her mind, “you ok?”
“Yes, thank you. Just wanted to say this is such a nice party, you always manage to get the best atmosphere!”
“Thanks, I think the people we invite are the ones who are the best at that,”
“Amen,” Beth chuckled. “So, uh, this is a little embarrassing but I have a very quick question for you.”
“Shoot,” Erika nodded.
“So, you know how I just recently got back being single, yeah?” Erika was already rolling her eyes before Beth could finish her sentence. “And I mean, he looks like a very good saddle to hop back on,” Beth giggled, looking back at Will.
Erika bit her tongue.
She didn’t want to be mean. She had no right to be. Not one bit. But at the same time, there was a prime need taking over her that made her wish she could tackle the girl and slam her right through the little coffee table by their side. But then again, Erika put herself back into perspective and found herself being more aggressively angry at Will than anything else. He had no right to destabilising her that much and then just leave here there able to do nothing but just look at him from afar.
It wasn’t Beth's fault, again, she understood. She was the first who fell into Will’s charm. And still, even when she had all the tools to make the right, thought-through decision, Erika opted for confrontation.
“So?”
“Well, he’s your friend, right?”
“He is. And if you expect me to put a good word in for you, you are a bit out of the way after you called him a saddle to ride.”
Beth frowned, “I was obviously joking.” Erika knew that was bullshit. Beth paused and took a sip of her wine, immediately forgetting any reason to possibly be upset, “Anyways, is he single?”
Even though she didn’t want to, Erika felt obliged to tell the truth. She had no right even thinking she could do otherwise. “Yes.”
Beth purred, “Great,”
“I mean, are you going to make a move on him?” Erika wondered damning herself for caring.
“I think he might. It looked like he was flirting earlier. God, I hope so,” Beth sighed, clearly getting lost in a fantasy. They both looked back at Will, “he looks so pretty and dumb, and at the same time like someone who would unapologetically fuck you stupid.”
Erika wondered when it happened that Beth thought she had all that freedom with her. Maybe she thought that because they were both girls and Erika was in a stable relationship with someone like Kyle then she was free to say the worse and still have her support. How wrong she was.
Though, before Erika could say anything, she got lost watching Will interact with Kyle and Mark, and she forgot all about the problem at hand. They were talking to each other all holding a bottle of beer. Kyle was the tallest and stood in the middle of the group as his gaze hopped from one to the other of his friends standing at his sides. The seriousness of their faces only made her crave to know what had just been said.
Mark raised a hand, explaining something and Will disagreed, shaking his head, so Kyle moved, and brushed a hand on Will’s chest, trying to reassure the Brit.
Erika frowned. What were they saying? She wished she could be a lip reader.
Will gaze traced back to her and caught her watching him. Again, she raised her chin. He looked crossed, like he was ready to have a confrontation, thought she would bet money she had a bigger pride than his. If he had a problem with her looking at him, he could have just left her house.
Kyle and Mark too looked back at her. Mark kept being puzzled, he was studying the situation more than anything, trying to get an idea of what was happening, all the while Kyle just seemed defeated.
Will said something that prompted Kyle to take his arm, calling his attention back to him. They exchanged a few words, and by then Erika could only see the intensity of Kyle’s gaze pouring right into Will’s. Kyle placed a hand on Will’s chest and the other on his face, still looking at him, talking and nodding. It seemed like he was trying to reassure him.
Erika damned herself. And damned Will.
Everything could have been easy. No one needed to get hurt if only he hadn’t decided to go and be an asshole. And now, hell, how did it get to be that bad?
She didn’t even care about herself and her disappointment and broken heart. She knew she could suffer and handle it. Kinda. But Kyle? She would have ripped her arms off before letting anything happen to him. And she knew that sooner or later whatever was corroding her from the inside, splitting her and Will up, would have surfaced and impacted Kyle too.
It was only a matter of time.
If she kept lying and not talking to him, he would have only got hurt worse by her hand. And for what? For her to try and prioritize his friendship with Will and protect the Brit!? But her alternative was much worse. She couldn’t, for the life of her, even think about the possibility of giving him any reason to lose trust in his dearest friend.
Kyle had only one family and it was her and the two men standing by him. He was too precious to be let down in any way by any of them.
Beth was still blubbering about Will, but Erika wasn’t listening anymore by then.
Erika cleared her voice, trying to put her thoughts in order. She crossed her arms, trying to find a way to feel secure when the floor underneath her feet seemed to suddenly disappear. Erika downed her wine, having an interior battle about how wise it would have been to go and get herself another glass. She was already feeling the effects of the booze warming her nerves and slightly slowing up her thought process. Was she considering drinking more?
Yes. Maybe the answer was getting blackout drunk.
“Sorry,” Erika murmured, stepping back and away from Beth, “I’ll be back.” That being said, she turned over and left her empty wine glass on the kitchen countertop on her way to the door.
She needed to get out of there. She needed some fresh air. To clear her head.
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Erika patiently waited at the till as her order was being processed. On the counter, already stuck in an anonymous white plastic bag, there was a bottle of whiskey she didn’t need and a Snickers bar. Although her attention wasn’t on those items, she yarned at the tobacco and cigarettes dispenser behind the cashier.
Never like that evening, she had craved a cigarette since she quit smoking and yet that was the sole reason why she entered into the off-licence corner shop. She won on her craving though, opting for booze and chocolate.
She didn’t even want the whiskey. She only bought it to pretend to have an excuse to leave the party.
“There we go Miss Erika,” the cashier politely smiled, offering her the plastic bag of goodies. He was a sweet, little man just over middle age. She liked him and it sure wasn’t the first time she or Kyle ran to the corner shop for emergency supplies like booze, snacks, ice cream or cigarettes, when she used to smoke. “You look very pretty tonight, Miss.”
“Thank you, Mr Salim,” Erika smiled politely. She appreciated the compliment, but she also felt slightly uncomfortable. She did look completely out of place in her outfit there. But outside on the street, the air was too chilli for how short her dress was or how much of her skin it revealed.
“You are going to have to invite me to one of your parties one of these days,”
“I will when you decide to take a vacation day!”
“Oh,” he chuckled softly, shaking his head, “then, who’s gonna look after my shop?”
Erika picked up her bag, offering the man a small smile. “Then no party for you, Mr Salim.”
He chuckled some more and then shook a finger at her. “Don’t have too much fun, Miss. And give my best to Mr Kyle,”
“I will. Don’t work too hard Mr Salim, have a good night,” she said as she left.
The time she had spent outside her apartment wasn’t remotely enough for her to feel any better. But she had run out of ideas. She wasn’t ready to go back though, but her options were slim. She could have walked up and down the street a couple of times, freezing to death and looking like she just left a club too drunk to realise she wasn’t wearing a coat. Or, she could have gone back into her building complex and waited patiently on the stairs for some time to go buy. Having her sneakers.
“Erika!”
She gasped and turned over, startled. Her heart missed a beat, as she looked in the direction the voice came from. She recognised him immediately and wished to be strong enough not to react to him, and yet, she wasn’t.
“Jesus,” Will bent catching his breath, stopping a moment, before approaching her. He looked concerned. “Where did you go!? We got worried.”
“I-” Erika vaguely pointed at the corner shop, rattling the bag in her hand, as if that could be explanation enough. Then she sent him an inquisitive look. “Did you follow me?”
“Well, yes. You just walked out.”
Erika looked up into his eyes, confronting him. “I thought you were damning the day you met me. Funny that you also run after me.”
“I needed to talk to you.”
“Well?” She wondered opening her arms, “I’m right here, go on then. Bet this one can’t be any better than anything you had to say before.”
Will hesitated. He looked at her for a long second, studying her face and the longer he looked, the more puzzled his expression became. “Why are you this mad at me?” He wondered, dropping whatever reason he seemed to have to confront her. His tone was now just sad and soft. “What did I ever do to you to deserve what you are doing?”
Erika scoffed in his face, shaking her head. “What the fuck?” She was smiling dangerously, hovering so close to losing every drop of patience and maturity she had in her, “What am I doing? Let’s hear it.” She didn’t drop anything and went under him as if she was ready to physically take him on. “This better be good Ospreay. Enlighten me.”
“What did you say to your brother?” Will too was quick to heat back up. “For a start.”
“Nothing. What the fuck are you talking about!?”
“Why do I have to justify anything to Mark?” Will pressed on.
“He’s my brother. I tell him whatever the fuck I want.”
“I have done nothing wrong.” Will plead. “If you dare to put Mark or Kyle against me on a whim of yours, then,”
“Then what, Will?” She snapped, “Are you threatening me?”
He seemed more confused than her. As if her words just made him realise what kind of boundaries he was breaking, Will took a step back, rubbing his hands on his face. “Fuck’s sake,” he murmured, “Just-” when he turned back to her, he looked desperate. His hurt hit her right in the stomach. “Don’t do this. Don’t put them against me. Mark is like a brother. And Kyle-” he choked, “I love Kyle, you know that.”
He was hurting. She shouldn’t have cared. After everything, she should have ignored him or worse, she should have kept being enraged by his behaviour. And yet, something in her gut stopped her. It was impossible to her the idea of willingly hurting him.
“Will,” she whispered, hesitating a second before taking a step closer to him. “I would never do that. Don’t you think I know what you guys mean to each other?
“You tell me,”
“Don’t you know me?”
“I don’t know what I know anymore,”
His words hit her deeper than she expected and showed on her face. Her eyes mirrored her pain as she looked right into him, unable to hide it any longer.
“Why?” She wondered, her voice trembling, “What changed?”
“What do you mean what changed?” His gaze hardened.
Erika was on the verge of tears by then and she had decided she wasn’t going to hide anymore. Fuck it. Fuck him. Fuck her pride.
“Why did you have sex with me and Kyle if you had to go and make it so awkward after?”
It was like she spoke another language. Will looked at her like she had just stubbed him right in the heart. “I don’t know. At this point, I don’t know why I did it.”
Equally, he hit her right back.
She felt her chest squeeze, constricted by the cold disappointment of realising she had been mistaken all along. There was no saving anything. No fixing.
“Do you regret it?” She wondered, turning away and catching a tear as soon as she started crying as if that was enough to hide away from him. She didn’t even care to appear pathetic anymore.
“I think I do,” he admitted.
“So, that’s it.” Erika looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. She let him see her and ignored how hesitation and doubt kicked in him. “Don’t worry,” she waved her hand, taking a step back, “I was wrong. I made a mistake. I won’t say anything to Mark or Kyle about this.”
It was over.
Now she had to find a way to keep that little amount of pride she had left up high and do everything in her power to find a way to not ruin her relationship with Kyle trying to protect him.
Before she could slip away, Will grabbed her by her shoulders and made her look at him. “Do you know why I regret it?”
She tried to escape him, “Please, Will, I said I’m done. I’ll leave you alone. Why do you have to be so cruel?”
Instead of letting her go, he cupped her face, making her look directly at him.
Erika wished not to with every inch of her being but his touch was warm and she melted into it.
“I’m going mad. Why are you crying like this?”
“Because you are a damn bastard,” she didn’t yell, she didn’t fight anymore, “You never noticed how much I liked you before? Do you think I’d invite any random guy to share a bed with me and Kyle?” She shook her head, “This is entirely on me, I understand my mistake. And I am not even upset about hooking up. I am upset because you just shut me out after. I understand why Kyle is more important to you, but seeing how nothing changed between you two and how everything changed with me-”
“You left.” Will simply said. “That morning, you left. I felt awkward with Kyle too as we woke up. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say or do. I wasn’t even sure if I could look at him. We had always been close but never that close. It was a new circumstance for the both of us and you weren’t there,” he cleared his voice, his cheeks blushing, “but it’s pretty easy to sort out stuff between boys.”
“You think I left you!?” Erika paused, looking into his eyes. Something clicked in her mind and she felt like the ground had opened underneath her feet. Now everything that had happened, everything that had been said, suddenly assumed a different light.
“I assumed,”
“You fucking dumb son of a bitch,” Erika punched his chest with no real intention of hurting him, “You assumed wrong. I thought you left me! I only went for a run because I woke up buzzing with energy and didn’t know where to put it. I felt awkward and scared and I needed time to think.”
“Think about what?”
“Why it meant so much to be with you, for one. And what it could mean for me and Kyle. It doesn’t happen every fucking day I fuck two guys.”
“I-” Will choked through his words, still looking at her like she spoke another language. “It doesn’t make any fucking sense. Why wouldn’t Kyle say anything?”
“Kyle didn’t know!” She gave Will another push but she was ready to fight him if he tried to get away from her, “I haven’t spoken to Kyle in a week. I couldn’t. Anytime he asked questions I’d shush him and fuck him. I knew that if I had told him how I was hurt he’d be crossed at you. I thought it was better this way.”
“Why you didn’t try to reach out?”
“Why didn’t you?” Erika’s words seemed to bring him some sense, to which point she nodded, “Can you blame me?”
“No.”
“And then tonight,” she started, shaking her head, “I thought I’d use the occasion to understand what the fuck happened but we just kept saying more horrible things to each other.”
“I hated to see how happy you looked like nothing mattered. Doing your thing in your little party with all your little friends,” Will bent his lips.
“You were my exact mirror. It looked like you didn’t care,”
“God,” Will pulled her to his chest in a hug she didn’t refuse. Maybe she should have fought a little longer, only to make him understand how much he hurt her, but she couldn’t, she was too tired for that and feeling his welcoming chest under her head, and his warmth surrounding her, was everything she needed.
Her pain was gone. She was still shaken and her pride was still bruised in a way she wasn’t sure she could fix because she now felt like the most stupid person in the world who created a problem and basked in her own grave after she dug it happily. But her chest was free.
Erika slid an arm around Will’s waist, holding him solidly and pressed her face into his shoulder, letting him hold her tight. He pushed a hand into her hair, cradling her softly. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean anything by what I’ve said. I didn’t mean it.”
“I mean it when I say you are a dumb son of a bitch,” she sniffled, looking up at him. She pulled a timid smile, while drying her tears off her face, hoping her make-up wasn’t completely ruined.
There was a small pause and then Will finally smiled, chuckling at her words. To her, it looked like seeing the sun shining bright in the sky after a long, long time of bad weather.
“I am an idiot.”
“Yes,” she agreed.
Will cupped her face in his hands, taking a moment to enjoy feeling her in his grasp, his smile softened. “Can I kiss you? Please?”
“You better, Billy Goat, or I won’t speak to you ever again.”
He didn’t even let her finish her sentence before he pulled her into a kiss. At first, he only pressed his lips on hers, still slightly uncertain, but as soon as Erika slid her hand up his chest and around his neck, he warmed up completely, closing her in between his arms and deepening their kiss.
Erika purred when their tongues crossed and pushed her hand into his hair, feeling the need to cross her fingers into his curls.
“Never again,” Erika whispered against his lips, “you do not keep secrets from me. When something is wrong, you must talk about it.”
He nodded, pecking at her lips. “Yes, ma’am. I think you need to talk to Kyle now.”
“Yes,” she released a sad huff, “I feel so sorry. I didn’t mean to shut him out. Neither of you.”
“He’ll understand. He’s Kyle.” Will pulled a confident smile Erika couldn’t keep herself from kissing.
“Will you stay tonight?”
“If you want me to.”
“Please,” she pulled him into another heated kiss. Only the thought of having both him and Kyle to herself was enough to make her brain stop working completely.
Will let go of her only to press his forehead on hers, inhaling a deep, peaceful breath.
“What’s in the bag?” He wondered sliding his hand over her arm and hooking his fingers onto the plastic bag.
“Just a snicker bar and some whiskey. I needed an excuse to leave. And I needed an excuse not to get a packet of cigarettes.”
Will took the bag off her hold as if it was something that weighed too much for her and then slid a heavy arm around her shoulders, pulling her under his side, and rubbing his hand over her. “Let’s get you inside.” Will softly kissed her temple.
“Okay,” Erika smiled, leaning against him and resting her hand on his chest, unable to let go.
They rode the elevator in silence, just hugging, enjoying that moment of peace and then walked hand in hand back to the flat, although Erika stopped him a moment before he could go back in.
She giggled as she pushed him against the wall.
“Someone could see us,” he whispered not at all refusing her.
Erika tapped her fingers on his chest, tracing them up his neck and chin. “I don’t care.” She whispered pulling him into a kiss. “Did you know you made a conquest at the party?”
“Did I?” Will closed his arms around her waist, pulling her against him, widening his strong thighs so she could stand in between his legs.
“Mh,” she did to kiss him and then moved away last minute, making him want it. “My friend Beth said you have the look of a pretty, dumb guy who’d fuck you stupid.”
“Well,” he chuckled, “she isn’t wrong.”
Erika pulled him by the chin, brushing her lips against his. Tasting his breath on her tongue made her stomach vibrate and melt into a warm feeling that slid down into her abdomen. “I’ve never been so jealous in my life.” She teased. “I wanted to put her through a table.”
“I would have paid money to see that.” Will switched position, pushing her against the wall, trapping her lips into a kiss and pressing his body against hers. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Just saying,” she smiled, “that’s the expectation around here.”
“Yours?”
Erika purred, answering to him with another kiss. Will smiled against her lips, nodding. “Noted.” He then pushed his face into her neck, assaulting her sensitive skin. “I could start now,” Will rested the plastic bag on the floor and then his hands ran quickly to her naked legs, reaching for the hem of her dress, “would you like that, love?”
His coarse voice vibrated low right through her skin sending a shiver down her spine. It was inebriating. They had been together only once and yet she had missed him like it had been a lifetime.
Erika stretched and bent underneath him, her hands trailing across his chest and shoulders, avidly feeling the edge of his muscles under her palms. She was eager to feel him move under her touch, craving to have him naked only so she could watch him move for her. She bit her lips shut, trying her hardest to suffocate a whimper, already struggling to keep quiet and he was barely stroking her legs.
“This,” Will pointed out as his fingers followed the edge of her dress, “is a very tiny dress, love,” he pressed his smile just under her chin. “It was so hard being around you all night, it was.” Just like he had a point to make, Will’s hands traced up her body, following the edges of her dress cutting a low neckline across her stomach. He toyed with the thin golden chains that kept it together. “wanted me and Kyle to become madmen, didn’t you?” he teased looking down at her.
“I wore it for you,” she looked at him only pretending to be all innocent, biting her lower lip.
“You are such a cheeky little tease, you are,” Will leaned in for a kiss.
She would have lied if she said she cared in the slightest about being in her very public floor corridor, where everyone could walk by and see she was unashamedly making out with someone who wasn’t her boyfriend. But, besides her pressing desire to forget everything about their misunderstanding and just get lost in Will’s arms, Erika still pressed a hand on his chest.
She huffed, trying to get a hold of her thoughts. “Hold on,” she pushed in the middle of his chest with more conviction, not because she didn’t think that he would stop at her words, but because she needed something to hold onto. And she needed air. She couldn’t think straight when her senses were so overwhelmed by him. “We need to talk to Kyle.”
Will’s gaze was soft as he crossed her face. He leaned his head to the side and raised a hand to her jaw, tracing it to her chin. “Yes.”
Erika raised her chin, looking at him right in the eye. “I know we have lots more to talk about to understand what this thing is,” she pointed between them, “but I do not want only sex from you.” She felt her cheeks blush and her heart pitter-patter in her chest as emotions flew across her. She wasn’t the shy type, never was. And hell, if she would have let misunderstanding get in the way of her and her happiness again. “Just so we are clear.”
“No?” Will pecked her lips softly, not hiding a big dumb smile curling on his lips. “And what is it that you’d like? Tell me, love.”
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still want you to fuck me stupid.”
“Fair enough,” he chuckled.
“But I think I’d like to try and date you.”
“I am pretty sure I can clear my schedule a little and find some space to take you out.”
Erika nodded, pulling a timid smile. “Do you think Kyle will be on board?”
“Considering he’d jump off a building for you and the fact that you Australians are fucking mental, I think it’s safe to say he would. Plus,”
The way Will blushed and his eyes trailed off, as he shied away, made her attention pop. A big, teasing smile grew on her lips as Erika poked his chest. “What was that? What aren’t you telling me, Ospreay?”
“I mean,” he was still avoiding eye contact, hiding behind his stupid smile that made her go insane, “I think I won’t have a problem dating either of you.”
“What are you saying?” She wondered feeling his words sliding right through her and into her stomach, making her feel warm and comforted. She did understand what he meant already but wanted so badly to hear it coming from him.
“I mean, you know, Kyle is very special to me.”
“Is he?” She purred.
“He’s very talented, very kind and very beautiful,” Will pointed out, “Why would I have a problem with that?”
“Are you saying you have a crush on my boyfriend?” She smiled proudly, somehow feeling that information weight right in her belly, making her tremble under her skin.
There was something forbidden and tremendously beautiful to the idea that not only Will and Kyle liked her but they could also like each other. She was shaken by the need to know, of seeing it happen.
She had known them both a very long time and witnessed years of flirting, but always assumed it was innocent playing around. She would lie if she said she never fantasised about it. That was at the very core of her threesome fantasies, honestly, but never before she had found a reason to bring it up. Erika settled thinking that was just how things were between them. They all did it with each other. And both Kyle and Will had the same behaviour as Mark. But now she was starting to wonder if something may have been different all along.
“Maybe I do,” Will proceeded, glimmering eyes and rose cheeks popping up under his smile. He tapped his index softly on the tip of her nose, “but you sure are nosy, aren’t you?”
“I am not!” She chuckled, “But I am intrigued.”
“Ah, yeah?” He wondered leaning in for a kiss, “You like the idea that I might like your boy, uh?” he brushed his lips against hers, “does it turn you on, love?”
“God,” Erika exhaled, nodding even before words could come out. She felt her throat seal shut and needed desperately a breath of fresh air just to clear her head because what she was picturing in her thoughts wasn’t only improper, but extremely out of place considering they were supposed to be locked in a room full of people for the rest of the evening.
Will puffed up his chest with pride and smiled. “You are so very bad, you are.”
Erika pulled him into another kiss with a smile on her lips and then forced herself to push him off herself with a chuckle. She wasn’t ready to go back to the party just yet, especially when she couldn’t be all over him and her boyfriend, but the voice of reason reminded her they both had been gone a while.
“C’mon handsome, let’s go back before they’ll send a search squad.”
Will nodded, “As you wish, love.”
As soon as they went through the door, most eyes moved on them. Most were puzzled as the flow of the party slowed. Erika wasn’t bothered by anyone else’s reaction; her attention was only for one person.
She smiled as soon as she made eye contact with Kyle, who looked over to them from the other side of the room, easily peeking above everyone else’s head. He was quick to assert the situation, studying her and Will and then a soft, large smile popped on his lips too as he deduced everything that needed to be said by their respective body language.
Before she could go to him, Erika slipped by the catering people, leaving her miserable bag of excuses on the open kitchen counter. “Don’t worry about this one, ok?” She instructed the girl standing the closest to her, who nodded willingly. “Thank you. You are smashing it,” she then added, showing her appreciation for their job. More would have come into the fat tip they would have left them at the end of the evening.
The girl pulled a large smile nodding gratefully. “Thank you, ma’am, glad you are enjoying it.”
As Erika turned, she found Will waiting for her. She wished she could have better control over herself, but she still blushed under his eyes, unable to hide her interest. She brushed her hand on his abdomen as she passed him over. “You should mingle, now.”
“Or I could just look at you,” he whispered to her ear, “and think about all the things I will do to you once we’re alone.”
Erika was crossed by a shiver. “I hate you so much, Billy.”
“No, you don’t.”
She shook her head and had to gather all her strength and control to slip off him. It didn’t matter what she did, he had planted a seed into her mind and now she wasn’t able to think about anything else but what he had said. Her stomach was already trembling in anticipation. God, she was ready to kick everyone out, even her brother, just to be able to have the rest of the night with him and Kyle already.
Erika managed to leave Will and cross the room, reaching for Kyle’s side. He was talking to a couple of the guys he and Mark met training. As soon as she was close, Kyle pulled her under his arm, dragging her naturally to his side, not losing the flow of his conversation.
“Hey,” she greeted them wrapping her arms around Kyle’s waist.
She didn’t care too much about their conversation, it was loads of opinions about wrestling technicalities and she didn’t have the focus to get into it.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” She wondered popping her chin on his chest, looking up at him.
“Of course,” Kyle kissed her forehead and then looked over to the other two, “Sorry boys, I’ll get back to you.”
Erika grabbed his hand and pulled him with her to the bedroom, seeking some privacy. As they crossed the room, she briefly looked back finding Will sitting with Mark on the sofa, they were having a lively conversation with some other people. When she noticed that Beth was standing there between everyone, listening to whatever Will was saying with interest. Erika couldn’t help herself from whipping out a victorious smile. She was being extremely childish, but knowing what the other girl wanted was ultimately hers fed right into her pride.
Erika found soothe into shutting everyone else behind her back, as she closed the door. The bedroom was nice and quiet, bringing her to release a relieved huff. “God, I feel like this party is going on forever.”
“Do you?” Kyle’s propped her chin up just so he could lean in for a kiss.
Erika immediately melted in his hold. Her hands raced up his arms and around his shoulders, as she took a long moment to enjoy being in his arms. As soon as their tongues crossed, Erika was crossed by another, powerful, hot shiver sliding down her spine and nesting into her abdomen, making her tremble. Kyle’s arms caged her. His hands slid on her body, feeling her curves.
“You,” she started, breaking her kiss, trying to catch her breath, “need to stop right now,”
“Or what, baby?” He backed her up against the wall, a confident smile printed on his lips and laser-focused eyes glimmering at her like the ones of a hungry wolf.
Erika tried to keep her hands planted in the centre of his chest, keeping him steady, but she wasn’t truly fighting him off as Kyle leaned in looking for her lips again.
“We have guests,” she panted, trying to maintain some sense, unsure what strength was driving her, especially after she had been turned on so much by Will just a moment ago. “We can’t just disappear,”
“I am sure everyone who noticed we slipped away is thinking we are fucking.”
Erika chuckled, sliding her hands through Kyle’s hair as he traced the line of her jaw. “Believe it or not I didn’t drag you here for a quickie.”
“No?” He sounded genuinely sad about it, “That is not very nice, babe.”
“Pretty please? I need to tell you something and it’s really hard for me to focus when you are all over me.”
“Seems I am still not doing a good job at it,”
“Shut up Fletcher,” she playfully pushed him off her, shaking her head. “When everyone is gone, and especially my brother. You can toy with me as you please.”
“I’ll keep you up on that.” Kyle looked down at her offering a cheeky smile. Then, he backed off, going and sitting on the edge of the bed. “So,” he started looking at her with interest, “you and Will made up?”
“About that,” she started stepping closer, “yes, we did. But before we talk about that I need to apologise.”
“For what, baby?” Kyle pulled her closer to him, making her stand in between his long legs. When he was sat, they were almost the same height.
Erika rested her arms on his shoulders and tenderly stroked his hair, offering a small, soft but ashamed smile. “I didn’t mean to keep you out.”
“You never have to apologise to me.”
“No,” she pressed on, “I do. Please, be mad at me for once,”
“You want me to be mad?”
“No, I mean, take my apologies like you were.”
“Ok,” Kyle paused to process her words, “so tell me, now,” he looked up into her eyes, “tell me what it is you didn’t tell me all week.”
“I didn’t want to be an inconvenience. I didn’t want my problem to taint your relationship with Will. So, I couldn’t tell you how hurt I was when I found out he just left that morning and then didn’t reach out to me. I realise that if I had said something to you, this situation would have been easily resolved, but I didn’t, so I managed to convince myself Will was ignoring me just as much as he convinced himself about the same thing,”
“First, you will never be an inconvenience to me. Second, you convinced me too. I knew something was off, but because you didn’t say a word about Will, I understood it the other way around.”
“Like?”
“Like you wanted to forget that night. Which is why I didn’t bring it up ever again. Until today. I started to suspect I misunderstood just today.”
“I am sorry,” Erika shook her head, “I feel so stupid. This could have ended so badly.” Her breath was suddenly shaken as she looked away. “I know how much Will means to you and I couldn’t bear to be the sore nerve in the middle of your beautiful relationship so,”
Before she could continue, Kyle pulled her into a kiss, silencing her. “Don’t say it,” he whispered, “do not say what you almost did. Which, by the way, I wouldn’t let you do. I would never let you leave me. Not like this. Not until I am certain that’d be the only way to make you happy. But not like this.”
“See? You would have fought.”
“Hell yeah,”
“Why would you fight for me when I thought about leaving you,” Erika paused again, “I am so sorry.”
“Erika, baby,” Kyle made her look at him, “You aren’t thinking of leaving me because you are selfish or mean. I can see that everything you did, even if it may have been a degree wrong, you did it to protect my interest to the best of your abilities.” Kyle slid his hands around her face, stroking her cheeks. “I appreciate you. I love you. But don’t ever think I’d be happier without you.”
“I promise I won’t keep anything from you,” Erika pushed a hand on his chest, just above where his heart was, “No more secrets.”
“That would be wise,” Kyle chuckled. His smile was as fresh as a breeze, making her feel reassured, “Especially since I seem to be the voice of reason around here.”
“Then, coming to the most pressing matter.” Erika started, looking down again. Her cheeks were slowly blushing, “I want to date Will.”
“Are you leaving me for Billy Goat!?” Kyle placed a hand on his chest, pretending to look shocked. “I knew he was bad business,”
“C’mon, mate,” Erika gave him a playful push, “Be serious you idiot,”
“Right,” Kyle nodded, “Am I invited to join this dating party? Or is it an exclusive?”
“No. I mean yeah, yes you are invited. I mean, you must be there.” Erika cleared her voice, just saying it out loud brought images into her mind making her thoughts all foggy and her stomach twist. “I would like to welcome Will in the couple, that’s it. Because I like him. I’ve been liking him a while,” she talked fast as if pushing out the words as quickly as possible could somehow hide her from Kyle’s reaction.
“Yeah, I know that babe,”
“So, what do you think?”
She didn’t even think about the possibility of his refusal. What if he was only interested in a one-night stand and didn’t care to indulge her? What if he didn’t like the idea of sharing all of that with Will?
Kyle shrugged, “I mean I am down for it. What did Will say?”
“He’s totally smitten by you. Called you beautiful, quoting.”
“I mean, I am beautiful, but that’s beside the point.”
Erika chuckled, “You are such a dumb prick sometimes,”
Kyle still blushed, even though he had just been cocky, “I’d like that. I mean it’s not a secret how much I feel for Will so,”
“Yeah, but there’s a difference between close friendship and romance,”
“Is there?” Kyle wondered, “Or maybe I just never openly admitted that I like him and that’s why we are so close. I mean, not that I have thought about it enough to put a label on it, but I wouldn’t oppose having him around more often. Equally, I have no problem getting on with the both of you.”
“Oh,” Erika chuckled, nodding, “that I know.”
In her belly, Erika felt a warm feeling distending and sliding across her body, under her skin, lulling her into a new relaxed state. It wasn’t only finding relief after days of intense, nerve-wracking anxiety and dreadful sadness, it was also joy, deep and pure.
She hadn’t planned anything to go the way it went in the past few days and certainly, she wasn’t expecting it to end up like a bloody fairytale happy ending. She had convinced herself of the opposite. But now she couldn’t think about anything but being grateful.
If only she had known earlier things would have turned out that way.
She then pulled him into a hug, pushing her face into the crook of his neck. Erika cradled him gently, soaking up the feeling of the consistency of his solid body in her arms. “Whatever, you know? I love you.”
“I love you too, always.”
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Erika was completely taken by pleasure. She felt like she was floating. Her body didn’t feel hers anymore. She didn’t have weight or consistency. No thoughts, only emotions. She was only her pleasure, wrapped and moulded under heavy bodies, hot hands and hungry mouths.
Kyle kept her solidly pressed against his chest. He had one hand wrapped around her throat as his other arm twisted around her waist, just so he could have easy access to her clit, only intensifying her pleasure as she took both of them in. She was riding Will’s cock, as Kyle fucked her ass.
“You are doing so good, pet,” he lulled at her ear.
They were taking it extremely slow now, especially for the standards they were getting her used to, but it wasn’t certainly the pace of their night. The boys had been relentless and merciless, making her come countless times already and still keeping her pleasure rolling.
Erika thought she could snap and go insane. She had never cried because of pleasure before. She had heard of the event. Maybe even see it when watching dirty, hardcore porno but never experienced it herself. Up to tonight.
The first time tears had started streaming down her face, both Will and Kyle froze, thinking they were hurting her somehow, only making her go more feral. Erika had to threaten them not to stop, ever. Unless she told them so. And they hadn’t ever since.
She had never experienced anything like what she was feeling that night. Not even the first time they were together the pleasure was quite so high. But that night was somehow hotter, and dirtier, the things they did and said to each other were more prohibited and inebriating. And none of the trio seemed to have enough of the other two.
Erika whimpered, too exhausted even to moan louder. Erika sat down on Will’s cock, slowly, accompanied by Kyle’s hand guiding her movements as the Aussie proceeded to slide back into her. It was like a synchronised dance between them, supposed to cyclically fill her up as much as possible. She had begged for it but could never be ready for the real feeling. She had experience with anal and even double penetration, as she and Kyle liked to play with toys, but her toys weren’t as big as both those boys fucking her. She felt like she was getting split in two, and loved every second of it.
Their skin was a sticky mess of sweat, bodily fluids and lube.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Kyle’s pure satisfaction vibrated through his voice, making her purr.
Words escaped her mind just as easily as thoughts did, she was abandoned in between their arms, body and soul, Erika only managed to slowly nod at him.
She felt Kyle's sharp smile pressed on her shoulder as he looked down at Will and invited her to a holt. In her stillness, Erika took a second to catch her breath, relaxing her lower abdomen and adjusting to both men's sizes.
She wasn’t at all mad at Kyle’s chosen pace. It gave her a chance to catch her breath – as much as still being fucked and held by the throat, hands tied behind her back could do. But she knew that Kyle’s slow torture wasn’t targeted at her, for once. She knew the Aussie's bright eyes were pointed at Will just as much as she was aware his sharp, challenging smile was for the Brit too, as Kyle had taken control over the both of them.
And she was in with Kyle’s game. Hearing Will whimpering underneath her, begging for pleasure, made her go insane.
He too had his hands bound. He was trapped by handcuffs locked to the bedboard and she loved to see how he moved and stretched underneath her. His muscles twitched and contracted. His big arms looked so good bent above his head.
She had taken a mental note of how much she liked it and thought next time she would have tied down both boys, planning to take her time to play with both.
However, that wasn’t quite the only thing that sent her completely feral. The desperate insanity of her attraction to the two men she was sharing the bed with pivoted when Kyle silenced Will, staffing her panties into his mouth and gagging him.
“Do you want to fuck this pretty boy, pet?” Kyle wondered. His words were enough to make both her and Will tremble. Kyle had his large hand opened wide on her lower abdomen and pressed on her, making her move her hips ever so slowly, causing Will to twitch and huff.
Erika smiled, turning her head to Kyle as much as his hold on her allowed movement, looking for a kiss. “Please,” she whispered against his lips. “I do.”
“Of course, you do, pet,” he cooed, “that’s what you like doing best, isn’t it?”
“Yes,”
Kyle dangerously purred in her ear, “No, no, pretty one, don’t disappoint me now,” he pushed her chin up and head back just to make her stretch in his hold. “Say it. Let me hear it,”
Erika moulded under his control, “Please, let me fuck him,” she whined, “I am such a slut for you,” she continued and the more she said, the more she wanted to say just to please the Aussie. “I want you both to cum all over me.”
“That bad, uh?” Kyle pushed her head back so she could watch Will, controlling her hips to move in another painfully slow thrust. And then another, quicker this time. They all moaned. “Shall we milk every drop of what he has to give?” Before she could even think about responding, Kyle's soft chuckle in her ear gave her a shiver. “Or, I could fuck you some more myself and make him watch.”
Will grunted, impatiently twitching underneath them, trying to buck his hips into her to find some form of satisfaction, trying to lift himself and fight the firm hold of his handcuffs.
That only caused Kyle to chuckle, “What was that baby? Daddy’s angry?” He guided another slow thrust. “Daddy should learn to be patient, don’t you think, pet?”
She nodded, rolling her head on his shoulder and letting a small moan out, not entirely sure she could think straight anymore. Almost out of habit, without thinking, she moved her hips, taking the initiative to thrust on them. Kyle let her. Her body was stretched like an elastic band ready to snap, pressed under her ever-grown hunger for pleasure that wouldn’t come. Kyle’s torture was making her go mad.
“Please, Kyle,” she huffed, exchanging a desperate look with Will. They both begged to be satisfied.
“Yes, pet? What is it?”
“I need-”
Kyle suffocated her words and ripped a moan out of her as he made her slide up and down Will’s cock pushing himself back into her. Erika opened her mouth wide, rolling her eyes to the back of her head. The pleasure of feeling them both inside of her was too much even for her to voice it.
“What do you need, baby?” his tone was now softer, more attentive, “Tell me, I will give it to you.”
“J-just fuck me,” she exhaled, “and let me fuck him.”
Kyle was ready to give her what she wanted. He exchanged a nod with Will, only so he would be ready and received a suffocated moan in return, as Will still tried to fight the handcuffs off. “Nah, big boy,” Kyle patted Will on the belly, “you are staying exactly like that.”
A shiver crossed Erika as she nodded, supporting the Aussie. “Daddy’s so pretty tied up.” She purred pressing a smile into Kyle’s jaw.
Will let his head fall on the pillow and bit down on the fabric in his mouth, suffocating a grunt, but the second he stopped resisting, Kyle rewarded him with what everyone wanted.
“C’mon, baby, be a good girl and take what you need from us,” he instructed, letting Erika move freely as she wished on Will’s cock, and respecting her rhythm with his thrusts.
She stretched against him and rode the Brit. Now it was her turn to be merciless, but Erika had very little patience too. She had been toyed with enough and felt like she was going to implode if she hadn’t found release. She whined, her body already shaking as the wildest wave of pleasure started to grow inside her tummy.
Her fingers extended to Kyle’s abdomen, touching as much of Kyle’s skin as she could, even though her hands were tied up.
He kissed her neck, ear and side of her head, only for his hold to become stronger around her throat. “Inhale, pet. Take a deep breath and hold it in those pretty lungs.”
Erika whimpered. A shiver crossed her spine, shaking her. She would have done anything for him but that command, somehow, was groundbreaking. Made her want to drop on her knees and have a collar put around her neck. It made her stomach twist. Her thoughts dissipated; nothing was left but letting herself go in his arms.
She did as instructed, inhaling deeply, just so Kyle could squeeze her throat and choke her. His hold was hot but firm, suffocating her breath and voice into submission as their rhythm only quickened. With every thrust shaking her and her lungs constricting into her chest, Erika felt her caged self spiral towards an undiscovered level of pleasure.
Kyle lulled sweet words to her ear, encouraging her to take it all. He softly kissed her neck and bit down on her shoulder, suffocating his moans on her skin. The hand he had around her abdomen quickly moved down between her legs, where he could massage her clit only making her pleasure grow exponentially.
Will arched under her, growling like a rabid animal and grabbing on the bedboard, making the entire bed creak under the pressure of his hold. Erika quivered, feeling the mindless need to feel that same strength on her own body, bending her and holding her down.
She so desperately wanted to scream. She wasn’t thinking any longer.
When pleasure hit her, rolling into her lower belly and exploding through her, making her shake uncontrollably, Kyle caught her and held her, releasing his hold on her throat and letting her breathe. “Good girl,” he praised, cradling her, not stopping for one second fucking her and not allowing her to slow on Will either. “Give it to us, baby,”
Erika cried their names as pleasure muffled all her other senses. Her quivering body squeezed on the boys as she abandoned herself against Kyle’s chest, letting him guide her movements.
Will came first, right after her, following the waves of her pleasure. Kyle moaned too, feeling Will’s dick release inside of her. “That’s it, big boy,” he praised, “fill her pretty pussy up.”
Will filled her up with his hot seed and, whining and groaning, pulled on his handcuffs leaving marks on his wrists. Feeling his pleasure pump inside of her made her feral. Erika was ready to howl like a dog, feeling pure satisfaction in the idea he had just branded her.
As soon as he was done, Kyle propped her up and continued fucking her, following Will and doing exactly the same thing. He pushed her head up just so he could trap her lips in a famished kiss, suffocating her whimpers as he fucked her mercilessly until he reached his pleasure, filling her up a second time. Rode his orgasm suffocating his moans in the crook of her neck, hands grabbing on her body like he was trying his best to hold onto something, not to get washed away in his own orgasm.
Erika was a quivering mess. Her mind was completely fogged up and disconnected, to the point she wasn’t entirely aware of the sweet things Kyle chanted in her ear as he untied her wrists and laid her down.
The first thing she felt other than the hot waves of deep pleasure sex just gave her, was the cold air tickling her sweaty skin as she felt completely uncovered for the first time. She had been naked a long time by now, but she always had one boy or the other, or both on her at all times, up to that moment.
Kyle climbed above Will’s chest, full of praising words for him too as he pulled her panties out of his mouth. “You are a good, pretty boy, you know that?” he wondered softly, sliding a hand across Will’s jaw fondly.
Will smiled, not hiding the pink blushing his cheeks. “Thanks, darlin,” he patiently waited for Kyle to unlock his handcuffs, only to sit up with the Aussie in his lap and grab him by the neck as soon as he was free. “Next time you’ll be the one begging for Daddy,”
Kyle looked into his eyes for a long time and then, as he slid his arms on Will’s shoulder, they both smiled at each other.
Erika rolled to her side, looking at them with a warm feeling spreading in her belly. She wasn’t only smitten by them. It was stronger than that. She needed to touch them so bad it hurt.
“Just kiss already,” she hinted, stretching in the bedsheets, trying to find some comfort for her tired body. She was exhausted and yet had enough strength left in her to still offer a cheeky smile to the both of them as they looked down at her. “I know you want to,” she purred, looking at Will.
Kyle and Will looked back at each other. The Aussie cupped Will’s face, caressing his cheeks, making him look up at him. “Do you, baby?”
“Call me baby one more time and I’ll lick the floor for you, pretty boy.”
Kyle pressed his smile on Will’s lips. Just like it had been for her, Will took a moment to melt into that new embrace, but when he did, she slid his arms around Kyle, pulling him into a hug. Their kiss was quick to heat up. When she saw their tongues flick as they made out, she was sure she felt it in her lower abdomen. Hearing their breath quicken only made Erika quiver under her skin. Pure lust flooded through her, lighting her body up once again.
She pushed herself up and slid close to them, kissing Will on the shoulder and then leaning on Kyle’s. “You’ll drive me insane guys.”
Both Kyle and Will looked back at her, welcoming her in their hug. “Good,” Will kissed her forehead and Kyle her cheek, making her feel their affection.
She felt so grateful and lucky.
“You know what’s the funniest part of this entire thing, mate?” 
“What, bruv?”
“You will have to tell Mark you are fucking his sister.”
“Ah, fuck,” Will let himself fall backwards into the pillows, only pretending defeat, as both Kyle and Erika laughed.
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majesticwren · 2 months
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due to high demand - me. I'm high demand. this entire project is being written entirely for my pleasure, be warned I'm being extremely self-indulgent - I've decided to write a little prequel to the events that take place here. this is set in 2018 and is the beginning of Fletch x OFC. billy will have his own little prequel at some point. enjoy. this it the grand finale guys I went heavy on the fluff because my heart needed soothing. thanks. bye. more of the nuclear season series (?) coming soon.
Trigger Warning/s: a whole lot of healing, toothrotting fluff, mention of alcohol consumption, more fluff, a little bit of drama because I'm that bitch and I needed spice for the plot - nothing majour though, mainly friends to lovers/impossible relationship dynamics..
nuclear season: part I -> | part II -> | part III -> prequel: <- part I | <- part II | <- part III Masterlist
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When she was left alone, Erika sat there for the longest time, just looking at the phone her dad gave her. She looked and looked, searching for the courage to move from within herself. She lit herself another cigarette and still looked at her own reflection on the black screen, waiting, hoping someone else took the decision she was required to take for herself.
In her mind branched a dozen of possible dialogues with an infinite number of outcomes. And not one seemed to satisfy her. Especially because she had no way to control the true sequence of events. She couldn’t know what version of Mark she would have found on the other side of the call. She wanted it to be the brother she knew well. The one she relied on and considered her entire world. But there was an instilled new fear that she would have found the one who broke her instead.
Maybe she should have just ignored it. Maybe she could have gone more time keeping her life on pause, living in self-doubt and sadness.
Or maybe she could have taken control of her narrative.
Inhaling a puff of smoke, Erika finally moved, unlocking the phone and sliding into the contact list, looking for Mark’s number. Her thumb was shaking as she started the call and that nervousness was quick to spread all over her. As the line connecting her to the other side of the world rang, a shiver crossed her, shaking her. She felt it in her bones.
The longer it rang the more Erika hoped he simply wouldn’t pick up. Somehow, ending all her expectations in such an underwhelming way felt better than any other possibility.
“Hey, dad?” As Mark’s voice flooded through her, Erika felt so nervous she wanted to puke. “Can I call you in a minute? I’m a little busy.” He was out of breath and, around him, Erika could hear a great cacophony of voices and laughter. Someone howled “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie,” so close to Mark that she felt it next to her.
“It’s me, Mark,” She immediately regretted her choice. She should have waited. She should have ignored it. She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t brave enough.
“Erika!? H-hold on. Don’t go away. Give me a minute,” she heard him move the phone, brushing the mic against something as he told someone around him, he needed a moment.
Erika couldn’t control herself. Her wondering mind pictured her brother in a room full of people and she wondered where Kyle was standing. She knew he was there. He was one of those voices. One of those people laughing. Was he close to Mark? Close enough to know she called?
Mark left. She felt the background noise quiet down as he moved. “Where have you been all this time? What happened to your phone? I tried to reach you so many times,”
“I’ve been home. I am just at home. And I’ve changed my number.”
“That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?”
“Well, it was that or ruin my life. I picked the less evil.”
“Listen,” he huffed, “I am so sorry. I said horrible things to you and I didn’t mean to. I am so terribly sorry.” He sounded like his chest was tight. There was a small pause. “I thought you hurt yourself when I couldn’t find you anymore. In those two days no one knew where you were, I thought the worst. I-”
Erika shook her head, trying to survive the ache that spread through her chest knowing he wasn’t lying. Guilt stubbed right through her.
“Listen to me,” Erika started, “I am going to try and be brief because I am still not sure I can do this. I am not sure I am ready to forget what happened. But you aren’t the only one in the wrong.” She huffed, shaking her head and fidgeting. She was so nervous her skin was hurting. “I am no saint. I understand where your concerns came from. But it hurt me in an unhuman way, how you reacted,”
“Erika, I am so sorry,”
“Shut up. I am not done,”
“Ok, sorry,” he mumbled going back to listening to her.
“Knowing how little you thought of me made me reconsider everything. It broke me in half and I hadn’t been able to think clearly that last day I was there. I knew you wouldn’t have liked me being around Kyle, I had suspected it from the beginning because I was the first to know I was not worth being around someone like him. I was too scared to even start a conversation with you about it because I didn’t want to find myself hearing what you then still told me in the end. It was like facing my deepest nightmare. You were – you still are, the only person I can’t deal to know I let down, and hearing you say those things made me lose it.” Erika took a small pause only to light herself another cigarette, out of pure anxiety, “But, that being said, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I shouldn’t have done what I have done. I should have been brave. I should have faced you and told you how I simply fell in love with Kyle and there was nothing I could do about it. I should have fought.”
“You are fighting now,” there he was, the brother she knew, the man she admired so much. Her light in the dark. She was still far from trusting him, but the walls surrounding her heart just came down for him, it was stronger, bigger than her, and there was nothing she could do. She was back being a small kid so close to her older brother they were inseparable.
Erika couldn’t hold a smile as tears started coming. “Like hell, mate. You don’t even know half of it.”
“For what’s worth, I am proud of you. I need you to know that.”
“I needed that two months ago, Mark.”
“I know. I am sorry. I dealt with it badly. I didn’t know you felt that way about Kyle. I’ve seen you with boys before. I thought this would be the same.”
“Well, it isn’t. It wasn’t. I had never,” Erika paused, wondering if she truly wanted to be honest with him, but it didn’t seem like she could control herself, words were pouring out of her chest quicker than her thoughts. “I’ve never loved anyone before. It scared me so much. And then you were there making me doubt I’d never be able to be worth enough for Kyle, I just-”
“I am sorry,”
“Please, bro, stop apologising or I swear I’ll catch a flight and come there to smack you. I got it, we are talking about it. Just stop saying sorry.”
“Ok. But I can’t control myself from feeling like it was my fault.”
“Yeah, well, it is your fault. And I should have just told you earlier about Kyle. I’ve known I liked him for much longer than this. I think I knew from the beginning. And somehow it felt easier to pretend I didn’t than just come to you and be honest.”
“Feelings are scary, mate. I get it. Especially when there’s a complicated situation in the way.”
“Yeah,” Erika sniffled, drying her tears and then inhaling another puff of hot smoke, letting it seep into her lungs and spread through her. “Well, here we go. I love him, Mark. Spent the past two months trying to put myself together to be somewhat worth enough to even consider apologising for what I did to him.”
“Oh, munchkin,” she felt his breath trembling, shaken by emotions she wished she would witness in person, “you already are. You are good for him. And he is good for you.”
Erika was struck. Pure emotion crossed her as more tears came, making it impossible for her to stop them. She curled on herself, hugging the phone. She released a soft chuckle, shaking her head. “That’s it. This is what I wanted you to tell me, Mark.”
“I know. I should have. Would have saved all of us lots of trouble.” She had the impression he was smiling, “I won’t let you down again, Erika. I swear this on my life.”
Erika chuckled louder, shaking her head. “A bit extreme, don’t you think?”
He too, followed her with a small burst of laughter. It was maybe a new beginning. Maybe she didn’t completely trust he wouldn’t have judged or hurt her ever again just yet. But hearing that noise still restored hope in her.
“So, you and Fletch, uh?”
“Yeah,” Erika smiled to herself, allowing herself to behave just like a little girl in love, “that little bastard did a trick on me.”
“He does that doesn’t he?”
“What’s that?”
“Attract people like he’s the fucking sun or something.”
“Yeah,” Erika smiled. There were no better words to describe Kyle, truly. “He is just like the sun.”
“So, what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know.” She huffed. “I need to find a way to apologise and hope he’ll forgive me.”
“Let me help you. Please. I had something to do with breaking it, let me help you fix it.”
“I’d like that,” Erika cleared her voice, “I’ll text you my new number later. Could you give it to him? Do you think he’d consider talking to me again?”
This time the burst of laughter that came from Mark was loud and genuine. “You fucking kidding mate? He’s been pining over you for months now. He will, he’s a sweetheart. Too naïve to feel resentment, I don’t even think he knows what that is.” There was a small pause, and then Mark huffed, sounding exhausted. “He was angry at me for some time. He knew I was partly to blame. He didn’t speak to me for two weeks after you left. That was hard.”
“Good,” Erika smiled, “You deserved it. But I am glad you made up. Because you did, right?”
“Of course, we did. As I said, that boy doesn’t know resentment.”
“Good,” Erika’s eyes trailed across the garden distractedly, “So, how is he?”
“I think he’s going to be so much better very soon.”
Erika lowered her eyes. “So, do you think he’d be able to ignore my past?”
“I think he doesn’t give a crap about what you did. There’s not a thing you can do or say that will make him consider any less of you. And I am sure he’d do anything for you. Given the chance, as soon as he has your new number, he will get in touch. Trust me.”
“God,” a shiver crossed her only thinking about the possibility. It was as if new life just seeped through her. There was a magnetic force pulling on her chest, giving her hope. “I hope so,”
“It will be, sis.”
Erika hugged herself, leaning her head to the side. “I’ve missed you so much,” she revealed with a small sigh.
“Me too, baby. Are we ok?”
“You are my brother no matter what, so, I guess we are.”
“Thank you,” his voice trembled. “I love you, little one.”
“I know you do. I love you too.”
“C’mon,” he then said loudly, sniffling away whatever soft emotion just connected them. “We got hearts to fix. Give me your new number so I can get you and that idiot back together.”
“Are you going to steal all the credit?”
“Of course,” he chuckled. “My sister. My best friend. You’d never met without me.”
“Right,” Erika rolled her eyes, “I can still go back not talking to you, you know?”
“Please, don’t do that. Now, stop losing time with me and give me this bloody number.”
“Fine, fine, I’ll text you in a second.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
As she hung up, Erika still sat there holding the phone with a dumb smile on her mouth.
She didn’t feel relief or happiness in a long time and now, she had the impression the world around her had shifted. There was something different in the air surrounding her. The colours were brighter. The sun was warm and pleasant. The birds chirping happily made her feel at ease.
Moved by a wave of adrenaline, Erika was startled and realised she didn’t want to lose any more time. Ever again. She got back into her dad’s phone, obviously not covered by password protection because he was too forgetful for that. He was too old generation to trust the fingerprint scan and found her way into his chats, only to open Mark’s and send him her contact. She was respectful and didn’t invade her dad’s privacy further.
Instead, she got up and, grabbing her now cold cup of coffee, went back into the house.
The TV was still on, and some people were still watching ROH but most weren’t paying too much attention as everyone was talking above each other, as large families did anytime there was a gathering. The younger bunch of the group were spending their time lazing around on their phones. Aunt Janice and the rest of the uncles’ wives had all moved into the kitchen to put on a fresh batch of coffee and start cooking breakfast.
“Thank you, dad,” Erika started, handing his phone back to him. They exchanged a complicit nod and Erika added a smile, the first genuine smile since she came back home.
“I take it went well?”
“It could have gone worse,” Erika nodded, “but yes.”
“What went well?” Her mum poked curiously through their conversation.
“I called Mark,” Erika explained briefly.
“And?”
“Well,” Erika tried to look around the room, making it obvious she didn’t feel too comfortable talking in detail about her conversation with her brother in front of the entire family. “We made up.”
“That’s so weird, kiddo,” her uncle Rod intervened. He was her dad's older brother. Much older. “You are here, your brother is in London and you just talked to him after we saw him on TV. Weird.”
“God bless technology,” Erika squeezed herself in between her shoulders and then looked back at her mum, leaning to kiss her on the cheek, as that could bribe her to shut up. “I’ll tell you later. I need to go now.”
“Go where?” Her mother ignored the way her husband tried to give her the subtle signal of minding her own business. “We are in the middle of a family reunion for your brother's debut at Honor Ring,”
“It’s Ring Of Honor, mum,”
“Whatever it is, you know what I meant,” she snapped in Mum’s typical way, “we are about to have breakfast and everything,”
“I’m just going to go for a walk, I’ll be back soon, I promise.”
Before she could reply further, finding other reasons to possibly try and stop her, Erika’s dad moved, releasing a soft sigh. He placed a hand on her knees, making his wife look at him. “Let her go, darling. She is dealing with more important stuff than breakfast,”
“Well, that’s ridiculous, family time is important too, she hadn’t seen everyone in such a long time,”
As they kept bickering and mumbling, Erika caught the quick look her dad sent her. He wasn’t trying to make her mother reason; he was creating a distraction so she could slip away. Which she caught gladly.
Erika escaped quickly, avoiding making eye contact with any other family member she crossed on her way. She didn’t want to give anyone the chance to stop her.
In the time it took her to go grab her bag, wear shoes and run out of the house, Erika had obsessively checked her phone every second, terribly anxious to miss Kyle’s call. And then, she spent the rest of the time still being so anxious she felt it shake her in her bones, because the idea he could call her any minute in a period that covered from anytime now to the next few hours or days, or not call her at all, was unnerving.
As she left her house, glad to shut her loud, big family chit-chattering behind, she felt her chest so tight she thought she was having a heart attack.
Taking a deep breath and putting her sunglasses on, she started her walk not entirely having a direction in mind, walking only for the motion and not to a destination. She felt like she needed to be moving. She needed to be doing something. Her senses needed to focus on other things than simply looking into a wall waiting because she was certain it would have driven her insane.
She quickly decided to put her phone on noise, to make sure not to miss Kyle’s call. And still checked the phone every second.
Before she knew it, Erika was heading towards the beach.
She was lucky enough to have grown her entire life about ten minutes away, even though to her it was just as common as the playground. It was a mundane view to her. It was the place where she had family outings when she was much younger, parties with her friends in her teenage years, and then again barbeques, or leisure days. It was familiar, common even, just like her back garden.
Though it was also melancholic and romantic, in a way. And if there was a place, she thought about to have a connection with Kyle, the beach on a hot sunny day was the one.
She was getting so nervous she started to nibble on her fingernails, trying to deflect the emotions rolling through her all at once, twisting and turning her stomach and sucking the air out of her lungs.
Why wasn’t he calling?
What if he didn’t want to get in touch with her ever again?
She was sure that Mark received her number because he had sent her a text as soon as possible. So, she couldn’t even try and convince herself something went wrong on that side. The delay was entirely willed by Kyle.
And she wanted to respect his wish, in case he wouldn’t have reached out. She wanted to leave him space. Or even leave him alone, if that was what he wanted. She’d understand his choice, after what she did. But her consideration didn’t mean she didn’t feel like she was getting stabbed every time another second passed and she still waited.
Then her phone finally lit up and rang. Even though she had been waiting for it for what felt like a lifetime now, Erika was still startled. She felt her chest explode with joy as she looked at the screen to check the caller ID. Part of her feared the disappointment she would have felt if she found it was anyone else in the world calling, though the area code shown on the calling number was a pretty big hint.
Erika took a deep breath in, trying to gather her thoughts and collect herself. Then, sitting on a log because she now felt like she needed to be still, she finally answered.
For a moment, there was silence from both ends, and they both just listened to each other background noises.
There were subtle voices surrounding Kyle. Distant enough, but she could still clearly hear people moving past wherever he was.
God, she would have given anything to be by his side.
“I thought you’d never call,” she finally said, choking on her own emotions.
“I thought about it,” hearing his voice made her chest shake. It was enough for her to feel tears coming back up. She thought she understood what it meant to miss him before, but now it hit her even harder.
“Oh, Kyle,” she began, not fighting against her emotions anymore. She was done shying away. “I am so sorry.”
“I know,” he sounded serious. He was giving her a chance; he wouldn’t have called if that wasn’t the case. It was the reason why she let him decide whether or not he wanted to get in touch. And still, the way his voice sounded filled her with uncontrollable fear. “I only called because I wanted to tell you I don’t want to have this conversation on the phone.”
“What do you mean?” Her chest was so tight it was hard to breathe.
There was a pause that terrified her. “I mean that I want to look you in the eye when you say it. I want to look you in the eye and tell you how I feel. This time, things will get done properly.”
How she wished the world shrunk, right now, enough to place them a little closer to each other instead of opposite sides of the globe.
“So, here’s what we’ll do,” he continued. She nodded, ready to do whatever he’d ask, “I’m gonna come home. I have some time off coming up and I haven’t seen my mama in months now, I think she’d appreciate it. And then, when I am done in Sydney, I’ll come up to you.”
“Sydney is a long way away from Brisbane,” she pointed out distractedly.
“It is,” Kyle agreed, “And I don’t care. Don’t you wanna see me?”
“Fuck, baby,” she huffed and the way she called him baby made him hiss, “it’s the only thing I want, the only thing I can think about,”
“Good. Then it is settled,”
“I just meant that maybe I could come down to Sydney since you are already travelling all that way.”
“Oh, no, no, baby,” he tutted, “that would involve scheduling and I do not want to tell you when I am going to get there.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want to surprise you,” she just knew he was smiling and felt the need to mirror him, “I want you to look forward to it, to wait for it. To fucking crave it.”
“You are so cruel, you know that?” She didn’t think she would have, but she chuckled. She was expecting tears and heartfelt conversations, not banter.
“Yep, you deserve it.”
“I do.” A timid smile popped on her lips, “Can I at least have a frame of time?”
“Nope. Might be the day after tomorrow, or next week, or perhaps in a month.”
“Are you serious!?”
“Deadly, baby.” A shiver crossed her. She understood what he wanted to do. She even appreciated it. Somehow found it romantic too. But it was torture. The idea she might have seen him some time without knowing when would have gnawed on her bones. “Here’s the hardest part, hear me? I won’t text you or call either.”
“Why?” She tried to object, full-on whining, “That is not fair.”
“No. It is not. But I do not want to make up over the phone. We can do better than that,”
“Are you pulling Nicholas Sparks crap on me?”
“Yep.” Of course, he was. It still made her smile like an idiot. The feelings pressing her down and tightening her chest were listing off. She felt free to breathe, free to feel, and to let her heart go straight to him. He may have not wanted to make up on the phone, but she felt like they did.
“OK, but this is still so cruel. I will go insane.”
“Good. I want you so desperate that when you see me, you’ll just fall into my arms and won’t fight against it.” She could picture his little kiss-ass smirk so well.
“It doesn’t work if you tell me what’s the catch, baby.”
“I think it will. I just need to exhaust your stubbornness.”
“Mh,” Erika nodded, pulling a complicit smile. “I am taking this as a challenge. Just so you know. I won’t accept your cruelty without a fight.”
“Of course, you won’t,” the sound of his chuckling made her heart explode.
“So, I will text and I will call, and you’ll have to consciously ignore me and feel bad.”
“Fine. It will be difficult, but I am doing it for the better good.”
Erika played with a lock of her hair, feeling a warm feeling flooding into her as her relaxed nerves. Her confidence was rising, enough to make her feel daring. “And what if I sent you stuff you must reply to?”
“Like what?”
“Nudes,” she cheekily bit her lip, feeling the heat in her cheeks. He wasn’t even there and she was still blushing like a little girl.
The deep breath he took only fed her ego, convincing her that, if she wanted him to crack, that would have been the way.
“Well, I can’t stop you from doing anything. But if you expect me to be that weak you are dead wrong.”
“You are so on, Fletcher. I will take you down.”
“I wonder what will drive you insane the most. Me not biting, or knowing that if you do send me pictures of yourself, I’ll be touching myself for you but you won’t get to know it.”
“You little devil,” Erika hissed, shaking her head. “I hate you sometimes.”
“No. You don’t.” He was smiling. She knew he was.
“Can I just ask you how you are? Before we go pretend you don’t talk to me and I just harass you?”
“Do you want honesty or politeness?”
“Be honest, please,”
“I wasn’t good for a while. You hurt me in a way I didn’t know I could hurt and even if I tried to forget you, I couldn’t. You were the only thing I could think about. Still are. I was angry too. At you. At Mark. And at myself. But nothing I did changed the fact that you were gone. I think that was the worst part. Your absence.” Kyle cleared his voice, “That never really changed. You left a quiet I couldn’t fill up, no matter what I did. But I have got better at ignoring it.”
“I am so sorry, Kyle.”
“What about you? Tell me how you are.”
“Putting myself back together,” she explained with a sigh, “I have been good compared to my alternatives. I am fixing my relationship with my family, and trying to fix myself too. Feel like I am finally growing up, if that makes sense. But I have broken my own heart too in the process of being so stupid, so,” she released a nervous chuckle, shaking her head. “I am ok, all things considered. But now I just want to see you.”
“I’ll come to you baby; I promise. Just wait for me, ok?”
“Ok.”
“Ok,” he repeated softly, “I’m gonna hang up now.”
“You do that, Fletcher,” she still smiled, feeling warmth spreading through her entire body.
The moment he hung up, Erika slid her phone to her chest and hugged it, curling on herself, feeling the desperate need to feel Kyle between her arms. It was beyond missing him, by that point. She wasn’t allowed to feel guilt anymore, not as slashing as it was before, because she now knew they had a chance. But she couldn’t freely think they made up either because it wasn’t the case.
Still, a smile bent her lips as she leaned her head, looking over to the sea and only seeing him. Only feeling him around her.
She loved him so much.
Erika had no intention of lying any longer. She had decided that would have been the first thing she told him once they saw each other in person. More than the guilt. More than the pressure to fix it. She loved Kyle and there was nothing she could have done, ever, to stop it.
“So, that’s it?”
Erika gasped, turning over startled, only to find Trevor standing at a little distance.
He was too close and she didn’t like it. The way he stood there and looked at her made her think that not only he had invaded her privacy but was convinced he was right to do so.
“What’s it?”
“You just made up with him?”
She froze, not granting him politeness any longer, since he wouldn’t get the message that way. “Did you follow me?” It was of course a rhetorical question. But Erika had no fear as she looked up at him, raising her chin.
Trevor shrugged. “I did. You ran off, I thought something happened. I wanted to make sure you are ok.”
“I am ok.” Erika looked away. “And it isn’t your responsibility to make sure, Trevor.”
“That’s what friends do, Erika.” The way he sounded so condescending as he tried to lecture her made her go ballistic.
“But you do not want to be just friends, right?” Erika glared at him, shaking her head. “How much of my conversation did you hear?”
“All of it.”
Erika twitched, feeling the cringe sliding under her skin. Despite how much she hated that her privacy was broken that way, she still had a point to make. “Did I ever talk that way to you, before?”
“Well,”
“No.” Erika cut through his crap easily, because she had no patience to let him live through a fantasy, whatever that might be. “No. I didn’t. I don’t. That’s the way I talk to the man I am interested in. This,” she pointed in between them, “this is an acquaintance and you get me being polite. That’s it. I’ve been nice, not interested, Trevor. Leave me alone.”
“So, are you saying that all this time I simply misunderstood?”
“Yes,” Erika huffed, shaking her head. “Maybe I had the wrong approach. Maybe I should have been more direct and less friendly. Maybe our mothers could have got the hint earlier. Maybe you could see that I do not have an interest in you. All plausible scenarios, I am sure. But I think after today you must take my words like the absolute truth.” Erika popped her chin up, “I am not interested in you. I will not change my mind, Trevor.”
“Well, that’s harsh.”
Erika bit her tongue, trying her absolute best not to bite his head off. “It’s the truth.” She shrugged trying to shake the awkwardness off herself. “I am in love with another man. I’ve always been in love with him,” Erika was ready to shout from a mountaintop at that point, “I don’t know what of my behaviour you misunderstood, but I have never led you on.”
“Non intentionally, perhaps, but you-”
“Why are you still here?” Erika was ready to growl at him like an animal. She had no time or patience to listen to his reasons and didn’t want to leave him any space to keep misunderstanding. “I don’t want to know what you thought I did. I just told you how things are. You should go, now.”
“Maybe we can walk together to the house?”
“No, Trevor,” she huffed, “just go away.”
“What am I telling your family when I come back without you?”
Erika rolled her eyes and then she jumped on her feet, ready to fight him if needed. Her sudden move startled him. She pointed a finger at him, trying her best to appear as threatening as possible. “Stay the fuck away from my family, Trevor. You aren’t one of us. You have even less right to be around them than you have to be around me. Just go get on with your life, will you?”
He looked genuinely hurt by her words, which was kind of the point. She needed to get him off her back and she wasn’t sure kindness would have worked anymore. “Fine,” he raised his hands in the air, taking a step back, “hope you know what you are doing, because you will regret letting me go.”
Erika didn’t reply. She didn’t want to give him anything else to misunderstand. She returned to sitting on her log, looking at the sea and doing her best not to pay any attention to Trevor or his decisions anymore. She just wanted to have a moment not to be disturbed. A second for herself and all the trapped emotions she had finally acknowledged.
But she couldn’t relax anymore. She couldn’t go back to the peace that she felt just a moment ago when she had just heard Kyle’s voice after months and felt like nothing had happened and time didn’t pass. She didn’t feel safe now. She didn’t trust to be alone.
Erika sighed and then picked her phone up, dialling her dad’s number.
“Hey,” he answered quickly, “you ok, honey?”
“Yes. I’m by the beach. Would you mind coming and pick me up?”
“Sure.”
He didn’t ask why. And she didn’t need to say anything more, but she trusted he’d be there in a minute.
Erika had never asked anything to her parents before. They weren’t the people she depended on. They weren’t her emotional support system. Mark has always been the one. Finding herself to quietly ask for her dad’s support now was surprising even to her.
That was the moment Erika understood and accepted that she was finally changing. Something, inside of her, was shifting. And maybe, just maybe, she did deserve to have a shot at a better life and happiness.
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June 2018
“Crap, crap, crap,” Erika fiddled with the hoops of her golden earrings trying to hook them to her lobes and the longer it took the more nervous she got, keeping pinching her pierced ears in the wrong places. “Fucking hell,” she grumbled, glaring at her reflection in the mirror, fighting against her hoops.
Maybe she should have just left it. She was already late. 
Everything that could go wrong was going wrong. 
First, she had wardrobe problems. The bubble-gum pink dress she wanted to wear had a faulty zip and wouldn’t close, so, she had to opt for a second option she didn't like as much; the blue dress she ended up wearing just wasn’t as strong of a statement. Then she couldn’t find her shoes, which were, for some reason, hiding in the last place she thought to check. Everything after that was given by the anxiety of being in a rush; Erika felt like her hair and make-up could have looked so much better if only she had the time to fix them properly.
The more stuff kept happening, the more it got under her skin, to the point that she was on the verge of throwing a tantrum and cancelling all her plans.
But it was her birthday. She wasn't allowed to cancel anything. She wouldn’t have done that to her mum. Letting her mother organise the event, just like she cared so much to do, and attending her birthday party was yet another thing Erika did to try and patch up their relationship. Her politely accepting anything her mum decided to put her through was yet another way to quietly apologise. Family portrait to honour her twentieth birthday? Sure. Deciding a theme and letting her mother embark on an insane party galore moment? Fine. Handwriting thank you notes and preparing gift bags for the guests? Why not.
At that point, Erika was convinced she would have done anything for her mother only to appease her guilt.
“Honey?” Erika heard her mother call her from downstairs, “Hurry up, we are going to be late.”
“One minute mum!” Erika finished touching up her lip gloss, giving herself one last look in the mirror.
She then snapped a quick picture of herself in her outfit and sent it on Kyle’s chat, queueing up with all the other texts and pictures she had been sending him for the past few weeks. She knew he was paying attention to her life, but as promised, he remained silent. Saying it was excruciating wasn’t enough. Not knowing his reactions, thoughts or emotions was torture. But she got used to the pain and the frustration, taking them like a habit.
“We don’t have a minute,” her mother pointed out.
“I am the birthday girl, I am allowed to be late,” she chirped grabbing her purse and quickly going downstairs.
Both her parents were waiting by the door. They looked so cute, all dressed up and coordinated with each other.
“There she is,” her father welcomed her with a soft smile leaning in to kiss her cheek once she was close enough.
“What happened to the pink dress?” Her mother wondered studying her new outfit.
“I know, I know, I am heartbroken too. The zip didn’t work or something. But this is not that bad, is it?”
“No, darling, of course not, you always look so pretty no matter what.”
Erika smiled, nodding, “Thank you, mum.”
“She’s right you know?” An unexpected third, familiar voice came from behind her, “You look stunning,”
Erika gasped loudly as her heart jumped up in her throat. “Mark?”
She started moving towards him even before her brain caught a sense of what was happening. She turned around, following blindly that tone that was so familiar to her that it resonated in her thoughts. Yet she hadn’t been used to being in the same room with her brother in such a long time it was now a shock.
“Mark!” She squealed as soon as her eyes laid on him. Erika leapt into his arms and Mark was more than ready to catch her with a chuckle, squeezing her to his chest. “Oh my god, you are here!”
“Surprise, gremlin,”
Erika hung on his shoulders giggling, “When did you get here? Oh my god, I can’t believe it! Why didn’t you tell me?” She kissed his cheek.
“Well, that would have spoiled the surprise, honey,” her mum chuckled.
When Mark put her down, Erika had a smile so large her face was hurting. She turned to her parents, still holding onto Mark’s arm with one hand, not entirely convinced he was real.
“You were on this too?”
“Of course,” her mum sent a complicit look to her dad, “we knew you kids needed to see each other, after everything.”
Mark slid an arm around her shoulders, pulling her under his side. “And I can’t miss your birthday, little one.”
“Oh,” she was so happy she could cry. Erika leaned against Mark, hugging him by the waist. “I am so happy to see you. I’ve missed you so, so much.”
“I’ve missed you too,” he kissed her forehead and then he softly tapped on her chin, making her look up at him, “I am sorry. About everything. I love you.”
“I know you are,” Erika appreciated his words. She knew that, even though they made up a couple of weeks ago and went back to talking regularly, he cared to let her know how sorry he was. She didn’t take it away from him or diminish his intentions, just as much as she didn’t shrug it off. It meant a lot to her too.
“So?” She continued, patting his side, “When did you arrive?” She gave him a good look, noticing how he was spat and polished he looked, wearing an elegant two-piece suit. “Where did you hide dressed so dashingly?”
“Well, let me tell you, I landed yesterday. Spent the rest of the time in a hotel in town recovering from the trip and the jetlag. And then, this morning, I took mum for breakfast and then she insisted we went looking for something appropriate for me to wear at this thing tonight.”
“No way,” Erika giggled, shaking her head, “I guess the usual blue jeans, large t-shirt and cap with a statement print wasn’t allowed?”
“Sadly, no. Mum is cruel,” he whined, fixing his thin black tie with a pout.
“C’mon you two,” their mum signalled to them to move with a large wave of the hand, “This mother is about to get furious if we lose any more time.”
“Oh, no, kids, be careful or she might start spitting fire,” their dad chuckled, opening the door for everyone to move outside.
Before Erika followed them, she still looked back at the rest of the house. She was looking and hoping as her chest filled with a level of expectation she couldn’t control. She kept thinking something was missing. And she kept hoping to see Kyle pop out from a corner, surprising her too.
Mark noticed her eyes trailing around and squeezed her hand softly. “He is not here, baby. I am sorry.”
“No?”
Mark softly shook his head. “No. I am sorry,”
“He said he was going to visit. And you are here. He is never too far from you.” She felt like she was ready to throw a tantrum, “And it’s my birthday. Why would he miss that?”
Mark shrugged, “I know. He knows that too. I think that’s the point.”
Erika rolled her eyes, “I know I deserve it, but it’s fucking killing me.”
“Trust me, his ways are surprising me too. I thought my guy didn’t know revenge but I was wrong.”
“He’s enjoying himself, isn’t he?” Erika grinned, shaking her head.
“Yeah,” Mark smiled proudly, “I’ll let him know how badly you are pining. He’ll be happy to know.”
“Can you at least tell me if he is in Australia?”
Mark bit his tongue, hissing and looked away. “Uhm, I don’t know if I am allowed to give that away, sis.” He avoided her gaze and started to move towards the door just as their dad honked the car, giving them a hint to move it.
Erika followed him quickly, grabbing his arm. “No. Don’t do this to me. After everything, now you need to tell me at least if he is near.”
“Are you going to play that card?”
“Yes.” She nodded, stubborn and determined. “That card is mine to use whenever I want, from now on. C’mon, please tell me.”
Mark sighed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t think you can play me this easily anytime, little one. Only because it’s your birthday,” he opened the door for her so she could slide in the back first. “Yes, he is in Australia.”
“Who’s in Australia?” Their mother wondered distractedly looking at herself in the flap mirror.
“No one,” Mark tried to remain vague, but Erika knew it would have only attracted more questions.
“Kyle,” she explained fixing her seatbelt, careful not to catch her dress in it. She exchanged a quick look with her dad in the rear mirror, but he didn’t dare to say a word. Her mother was still oblivious to her relationship with him.
“Oh, dear boy. Is he about? Why didn’t you invite him?”
“He’s in Sidney, mum,” Mark explained even quicker than before. “He’s from there and went to see his family.”
“Oh. Shame. Will he come to visit?” She wondered. Again, her bubbly, oblivious, sweetness left everyone else in the car speechless.
By that point, the look Erika and her dad exchanged through the rear mirror was complicit and accompanied by a small grin. “Yes,” Erika proceeded poking her brother, “will he? Soon?”
Mark moved on his seat, feeling awkward under the spotlight that hit him. “I don’t know,” he mumbled and then poked her back. “Maybe? Why don’t you ask him?”
“Oh, well, that’s just mean,” Erika whispered and this time, as she reached back, she pinched him on the tit, grinning.
“By the way, darling,” her mother started, looking back from her seat, “I don’t know if I told you, but I’ve invited Trevor.”
Erika’s smile immediately washed off her face. She rolled her eyes and let her head fall backwards, releasing a grunt. “Why, mum? You know he has a thing for me!”
“Yeah, I know,” her attention trailed to Mark’s puzzled face. “Trevor is the lovely son of one of my friends, Pamela,”
“And she has been trying to fix me up with him from the past god knows how long,” Erika explained, “and the longer she keeps inviting him around to shadow me, the more he thinks he has a chance.” She looked back at her mum, straight up crossed. “And she didn’t tell me sooner so I wouldn’t tell him not to bother, right?”
“Oh,” Mark looked at their mother with an inquisitive look, “Mum, it doesn’t look to me like your plan is working.”
“Nonsense, I have no plan. It’s just nice if Erika can have a friend around these parts.”
“It surely looks like that’s what she wants.” Mark pointed out severely, shaking his head.
“I tried to tell her already,” their dad sighed, keeping his eyes on the road. “I am sorry, darling.”
“Oh,” their mother huffed and turned over, crossing her arms not even trying to hide her childish annoyance. “I don’t know what you are talking about. I only tried to do something nice.”
“I know you did, mum,” Erika sighed forcing herself to gulp down her irritation. Being angry wouldn’t have helped anyone. So, she scooted closer to Mark and as she leaned closer to him, he moved too, leaning his head against hers. “You aren’t allowed to leave my side tonight. Like, ever.” She whispered.
“That bad, uh?”
“It’s not that bad,” she looked up at him, “It’s not like this guy is a freak or anything like that. But equally, I don’t want him around because he has convinced himself that if he is patient enough, I’ll open up, or whatever.”
“Is this the same guy that followed you that one time?” Mark spoke just as quietly as if they were keeping secrets.
“Yes.”
“So, he’s not a freak despite that one time.”
Erika sighed, “I am trying to keep my shit together and you saying that doesn’t help.”
“Sorry. Why not tell him you are taken?”
“Well, I did. Kind of. But I don’t feel entitled to say I am involved. So, he still hopes for the best.”
“Why not?”
“Because your stupid mate hasn’t bothered to take me yet, did he!? Him and his stupid romantic crap,”
“Ok. Don’t say it like that, please.” Mark chuckled.
“Why don’t you tell him that? Uh? That my mother is trying to fix me up with some guy. I bet he wouldn’t like his decision to ignore me that much anymore.”
“Why aren’t you being honest with mum?”
“Because,” Erika’s voice lowered, “I don’t want to argue with her.”
Mark pulled a soft smile and reached for her hand, taking it into his palm and giving her a soft squeeze.
“Good on you,” Mark pulled a grin and nodded. “I’ll stay with you, by the way. You didn’t even have to ask. I came back to see you.”
Erika smiled grateful and leaned her head on his shoulder, releasing a sigh. “Thank you,”
“Anything for you, munchkin.”
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Erika laughed loudly as Mark made her spin in his arms while they danced. She had not one thought in her mind or worry in her heart. Even her constant melancholy for missing Kyle, in that specific moment, was toned down. From the speakers played Church, by T-Pain, which was one of the greatest tunes ever made.  She faced Mark as they both mouthed the lyrics, moving in sync following the song. It looked like they rehearsed it. Erika pretended to shake Mark when the pistol clicked in the song, and he put his hands to his chest, pretending to be shot in the heart.
When the song ended, they hugged and then Erika signalled him to follow her back to the table. She needed a breather and a glass of water.
She fell heavily on her chair, fanning her face as Mark sided her, catching his breath. “All things considered this is pretty fun,” he started, looking around. “I wouldn’t have expected the party to go this way.”
“Well, I am always twenty. I think mum wanted to do something more sophisticated but I’ve convinced her otherwise.”
“From sophisticated to a noughties theme party packed full of family members and middle-aged adults trying to have fun like they are kids is a big step.” Mark pulled his tie off, unbuttoning his shirt. “I could have pulled one of my regular fits.”
“Mum would have never let you,” she chuckled, looking over to the group of people dancing in the middle of the room. “Looks like she is having enough fun, for sure.” Erika smiled leaning back on the chair, only for Mark to roll a heavy arm on her shoulders, nodding.
“Seems like stuff is going well down here, uh?”
“As well as I can make it go,” Erika shrugged, “But I miss England.”
“You can always come back,” Mark suggested, looking down at her. “I’d like it if you came back.”
“You would?”
“Yes. And RevPro would rehire you in a heartbeat. I kind of already thrown the idea to Andy, just to feel the vibe.”
“And?”
“And he’d be happy to have you back. We have a part-timer who took your place but no one likes him as much as they liked you.”
Erika sighed, nodding. That was certainly something she should have thought about. She had never thought her life was gonna end in Brisbane. Even now, she knew her current situation was temporary and since things were slowly getting fixed up, she was convincing herself more and more that, one day, she would have gone back to England.
Her life wasn’t taking pictures at lame events, or getting stuck in Australia for the rest of her career. Her life was travelling with her brother, living wrestling. She missed it so much.
“We’ll see,” she huffed, tired but hopeful.
There was only one thing that needed fixing now. And she was beyond done waiting.
For some time through that evening, Erika had convinced herself that Kyle would have popped out, somehow. But the longer the celebrations went on, the more she realised she was hoping in vain. Maybe he was truly in Sidney. On the other side of the country. Still closer than ever before, and yet not as close as she needed him to be.
Erika huffed, hiding her frustration behind a glass of icy cold water.
The dinner was over and now people were only enjoying themselves and drinking. Most were there to party, which was kind of the idea. Erika didn’t mind at all the fact that the party demographic was mostly composed of middle-aged people. She found it fun, to watch them party like kids. It was one of the reasons why she picked that theme too, most of them were young adults in the noughties, hardly something to forget.
Plus, it was hard to forget that she didn’t have friends. Not really. Everyone she grew up with and embarked on bad paths with was now a stranger to her. Since she decided to change her life, one year ago, she had burned down many bridges.
So, now, Australia represented only family to her. Which was nice. Now, after the three months, she spent back home trying to fix mistakes she made in the past, it had a better soft tone to it than the usual bitter regrets that always followed anytime she thought about home.
Knowing she hadn’t been the golden child her family deserved still haunted her. She wasn’t at all convinced she’d be able to ever forget it. But, at least, now it was better.
Someone approached them. Their uncle Rod’s heavy hands slammed on Mark’s shoulders, giving him a hard shake. “Dear boy,” he kept shaking him, “it’s so good to see you. We miss you around here,”
Mark chuckled, getting up from his seat to embrace the man properly in an affectionate hug. “Miss it too, uncle.”
“So, how the hell are you?” the man wondered, taking a seat next to them. “Tell me about old London, how’s the Queen?”
Erika smiled, leaning back on her chair and enjoying watching their interaction.
Mark was the golden boy of the Davis family. It was difficult not to love him.
His coming back had surprised everyone at the party. When he rocked up by Erika’s side, everyone lost their mind and there had been a literal parade of hugs and handshakes. But after that he tried his best not to steal the show, making sure the focus always remained on Erika. It was her evening, after all.
She leaned in, distracting him for only a moment squeezing his arm. “Want a drink?”
“Yes, please, a Great Northern would be perfect about now.”
“Coming right up,” Erika kissed him on the cheek before moving away, leaving him to chit-chat with Rodney.
Erika moved to the bar, quite enjoying taking a moment for herself. She called the bartender over with a quick gesture and then leaned in placing her order for a Great and whatever non-alcoholic thing they had, taking full advantage of the open bar, with a smile.
And then, her bubble burst.
“Hey, Erika?” Trevor approached her.
Even if she wanted to be polite, and she didn’t want to, Erika couldn’t keep herself from grumbling loudly at him.
He had kept his distance most of the night, mainly because Mark made it pretty clear there was no space around her. She should have thought the second she left her brother’s side he’d pop up. But since he showed up with a date, Erika thought to be in the clear. Or she hoped so.
“What are you doing here, Trevor?”
“I just wanted to say happy birthday.”
Erika grabbed the drinks the barista passed her and turned around, not giving him too much attention. “Right. I mean to the party. You shouldn’t have come, mate.”
“Your mother invited me,”
“Yes,” Erika nodded, sighing, her patience was already underground. “And I thought I have been very clear the last time we spoke.”
“So,” he started, puffing his chest up, “Nothing changed, uh?”
“No, Trevor. Nothing changed. And it won’t change. Just get over it, will you?”
“Difficult to do when you are around,”
“Well, it would be much easier if you just stopped coming to these events, right?” Erika pulled a sour smile, “It won’t be a problem anymore, anyway. I’ll soon be moving back to England with my brother.”
“And what about the guy?” He wondered, taking a small step forward. “Are you still with him?”
“Well, that’s none of your concern, for one. But yes.” She felt somehow wrong saying that, knowing that she had no right to say it. She and Kyle weren’t together. Yet. And it didn’t matter how desperately she wanted it and how much she longed for him. But none of that was Trevor’s business. “And I plan to be with him a long time.”
“Good for you,” he didn’t sound genuine. Erika couldn’t stop herself from wondering why some guys did that. Why did they go and convince themselves they had the god-given right to assert their dominance or whatever over a woman who wasn’t interested, making her self-aware of the fact that maybe she was the one who was mistaken? Maybe her behaviour was wrong. Maybe she should have been more careful.
She hated that. She resented it.
“See? We managed to have a normal conversation, that wasn’t so hard.”
Erika rolled her eyes, biting down on her tongue not to point out how abnormal everything about that conversation was. But she didn’t want to make a scene. She didn’t want to be that person ever again. So, she kept it in, only looking up at Trevor, not hiding her annoyance. “Right. Good talking to you, mate. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I’m gonna go back to my party.”
Before she could move around him, Trevor grabbed her by the arm and pulled her closer to him, almost making her lose balance on her heels.
Erika flinched and gasped, praying he wasn’t truly that stupid. Because if he cornered her, she had no intention of keeping down. She may not look it, but she knew well how to poke someone in the eye or aim a knee to the crotch with the precise intent of hurting.
“Oi! I would suggest you leave my sister alone, mate,” a heavy hand slammed on Trevor’s shoulder, as he was pulled back and Mark slipped in between them, shielding Erika with his body, puffing his chest up to look even bigger than usual. “Or I swear I’ll break your hands.” Mark smiled dangerously. “Trevor, isn’t it?”
“Sorry,” Trevor immediately pulled his hands up in a peaceful gesture, taking a step back. “I didn’t mean to,”
“Oh,” Mark chuckled, shaking his head. “But you clearly did.”
By then, any feeling of fear had left Erika. She embraced Mark’s protection and popped her chin over his shoulder, pulling a confident smile. “He did,” she teased distractedly, sending Trevor a threatening look.
Mark nodded, leaning his head closer to her, underlying how close they were even just by the way they moved around each other.
He turned to her, now blocking Trevor completely. “You ok, munchkin?” He wondered looking down at her face. Erika nodded and offered a soft smile, passing him his beer. “Better now, thank you.”
Mark nodded, genuinely amused. Then he pointed towards the patio exit. “You should to the garden,” he suggested, “I’ll take care of our friend here. He won’t bother you.”
“Why would I go out there on my own?” She asked suspiciously, frowning.
“I don’t know. Fireworks?”
“And I’m the only one knowing?” Erika looked up at him suspiciously, “Mum would have told everyone by now,”
“Just go to the fucking garden, sis.” Mark chuckled, shaking his head, “I am not allowed to tell you more.”
Erika’s stomach started to tremble, constricting painfully as her heart skipped a beat. “Mark?” Her face lit up as hope started building up inside of her. Adrenaline flooded her nervous system. “Is he here?” She felt her skin come alive, as every hair on her body stood up. “Is he here?” She repeated, forgetting about everything else. Had it been weeks of her waiting for that single moment? It mattered no more. She didn’t even remember why Trevor was a concern or why it was slightly cringy to see auntie Janice twerk to Missy Elliott’s songs.
Mark gave her a small push, shaking her head. “Just go, will you? And happy birthday.”
Erika squeaked and jumped up to hug him. “Thank you,” she kissed his cheek, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” Mark affectionately pushed her off himself and directed her into the direction of the patio, nodding. “Now go, make me proud.”
She did as he said and didn’t pay attention anymore to what was happening behind her even though she felt Mark grab Trevor again and threaten him some more. It wasn’t her problem anymore. Nothing else mattered just as much, to her, as the possibility of seeing Kyle.
To an extent, she had started thinking that everything that had happened to her was necessary to bring her to be exactly there, looking into her future, able to welcome it and accept it fully.
When she hopped on the patio, the evening breeze surprised her. It had picked up quite a bit and the temperature had dropped, but it was still not enough to be considered cold. Brisbane never got to experience proper winter like it would happen in England, for example. She still crossed her arms, trying to keep her thin dress from being blown off her chest.
Her eyes followed the dark garden and immediately pulled to the seating area over the edge of the beach. The low hedge surrounding it was lit by hundreds of golden twinkle lights. It looked romantic. Just like out of a movie.
There, looking over to the sea, stood Kyle. She would have recognised his frame anywhere. Standing tall and proud, hands casually dug into the pockets of the suit trousers he was wearing. He looked so beautiful it hurt her.
She felt the need to leap toward him and into his arms, digging herself a spot into his chest to never let go. And yet, she was also frozen there, still holding the bottle of non-alcoholic beer from before.
She was overwhelmed by her emotions the second she realised he was there, for the first time after everything, he was only a few meters away. She could have talked to him. She was about to be able to reach out and touch him.
What a fool.
She knew he would be there. She felt it with every fibre of her being. There was a silent song only her heart could hear, humming in the air. She just knew. And yet she had let circumstances convince her otherwise.
Erika chuckled out loud and, leaving her bottle of beer on the patio floor, she got up gathering the courage to cut through the last bit of distance that divided them. As soon as he realised she was there, Kyle turned to her just in time for Erika to pull him into a hug he didn’t refuse. It was soft at first, and then they both squeezed on each other, pulling one another towards their chests, as if their lives depended on that closeness.
Her hands travelled across his shoulders, feeling his body underneath her touch, just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. He was solid and warm. Soft enough to mould under her touch. Real enough to complete her. She nuzzled her face into his shoulder and inhaled his scent deep into her lungs. Feeling like she was finally home.
“I love you,” she blurted out without even thinking, unable to keep it in any more. Erika pulled away and cupped his face into her palms, softly caressing his cheeks. “I love you.” She repeated, getting lost in his bright eyes.
Kyle welcomed her words with a soft smile, studying her features. “I love you too,” he attentively moved a hand around her cheek, following the line of her chin with his thumb as his eyes traced to her lips. “Been loving you an awful long time, baby.”
Erika gasped, feeling any trace of fear getting stripped off herself. She wasn’t afraid anymore. He was allowed to have her feelings. She was ready to trust him with it. Just as much as she humbly would have taken his heart again, to protect this time.
“I am such an idiot,” she started, but before she could continue, Kyle shushed her, pressing his thumb on her lips, and shaking his head.
“Don’t talk that way about yourself.”
“But it’s true. I’ve known from the very beginning. I am so sorry.”
Kyle made her lift her head, now towering over her. He looked straight into her eyes, diving right through her feelings. His lips still pulled into a small smile. “I love you, Erika. I do not care what happened before. I care about now.”
“But I did so much wrong. And I hurt you so bad, I-”
“Let it go, baby,” he whispered shaking his head. “I have forgiven you already, it is forgotten. Please forgive yourself. I just want to move on with you, I don’t care about the past.”
Erika’s hands hooked on his wrists as she held onto him. Her eyes were teary but full of joy. She didn’t know how an angel like him came about into her life and she wasn’t entirely convinced she deserved him, but she had no intention to let him go.
“Are you gonna kiss me, then?” She lifted her chin, almost like a challenge.
Kyle's smile widened. “You’d like that, uh?”
“There are many things I’d like, Fletcher.” She smirked, watching his cheeks blush.
He looked at her face a second longer, getting lost in her glimmery eyes reflecting the twinkle lights. Then pulled her closer to him, leaning close to her face. He softly kissed her cheeks, holding her tenderly. Erika melted under his touch, releasing a soft sigh. She needed only that to lose her mind. Her senses were completely overwhelmed by him. Kyle hesitated only a second, brushing his lips on hers ever so softly, leaving her breathless, and then, he finally kissed her.
Just like their hug, it was soft at first, attentive. Both let themselves get used to that closeness, easing into being in each other’s arms after all the time it has been. But then, as both were hit by passion, the kiss deepened as they both dived into each other.
“So,” Erika started as soon as she caught a break from his lips, catching her breath, still hanging from his shoulders, “just for the record, are we together now?”
“Just for the record, I think so. Would you like that, baby?”
“God, yes.”
Kyle pulled the sweetest smile, nodding. “If only I had known it would have been this easy, I would have taken you to the beach sooner.”
“Don’t think you can swoon me this easily every time just with any romantic setting, Fletcher.”
“No?” Kyle pecked her lips as his arms slid around her figure, “I think you are a big softy on the inside. Like a marshmallow. I think you like this stuff,”
“Whatever,” Erika chuckled, shaking her head. “I like you, that’s it.”
“Ah,” he mirrored her soft chuckle, shaking his head, “whatever, that’s it, uh?”
“Yes!” Erika was still giggling as she poked his chest, “So, tell me, for how long have you been here?”
“In Brisbane? Or Australia?”
“Both,”
“Well, I got to Sidney a few days ago. I left England before Mark. Wanted to make sure I had enough time to spend back home before travelling up here. I arrived in Brisbane earlier this afternoon.”
“So, Mark lied to me.”
“Pretty much, yes. It wouldn’t have been a surprise if not.”
“Why did you wait this long?” Erika poked him again. “You could have joined the party much sooner,”
Kyle pushed a finger under her chin, making her lift her face, pulling a kiss-ass grin. “Where was the fun in that?” he softly pecked her lips, “Right,” Kyle then looked over her shoulder, to the big gazebo where the party was taking place, “so, do you want to go back in? Introduce me?”
“Yes,” Erika nodded, but before she moved, she still pulled him by the suit jacket, her lips traced on his chin, “In a minute,” she kissed him again, “I am not quite done apologising and making up.”
“Are you saying it was too easy?”
“Yes. You should have made me sweat for it a little longer,”
“Mh,” Kyle leaned on her and pushed his face into her neck, brushing his lips on her skin, “I thought I did in the past two weeks. You have seemed a little desperate on a couple of occasions if I remember correctly.”
“Don’t bring that up,” Erika wanted to sound threatening, but she didn’t manage to do more than purr for him. “I’ll make you pay for that later.” Just thinking about what later implied made her skin ripple in goosebumps.
“Is that so?” She felt him pressing his smile on her neck before he lifted his head and looked down at her. “You seem to have a very specific plan going on.”
“You bet your ass I do,” Erika chuckled. Then she leaned in for a soft kiss. “C’mon, let’s go back.”
Before she could move, Kyle held her back only a moment longer. “Hold on one second,” he pulled her into his arms again, “Happy birthday, baby,”
Erika smiled. Her thank you was yet another kiss. And, holding onto him, she just knew she would have never been able to let go ever again.
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majesticwren · 2 months
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due to high demand - me. I'm high demand. this entire project is being written entirely for my pleasure, be warned I'm being extremely self-indulgent - I've decided to write a little prequel to the events that take place here. this is set in 2018 and is the beginning of Fletch x OFC. billy will have his own little prequel at some point. enjoy.
Trigger Warning/s: alcohol consumption, mention of addiction, mention of sex, mention of trauma, sexual harassment, swearing, OFC is her own trigger warning she is damaged goods and slightly toxic, kyle is a little baby, mark is being overprotective and extremely toxic sorry not sorry, angst, mainly friends to lovers/impossible relationship dynamics.
nuclear season: part I -> | part II -> | part III -> prequel: part II -> | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist
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January 2018
There was always something melancholically romantic about an empty venue after a show. Seeing a place that had been crowded, hot and loud for hours suddenly empty and silent had a particular bittersweet vibe to it.
Erika sat on one of the foldable chairs at ringside, one leg crossed over her knee, swinging her foot to the beat of the seconds, looking around as she waited. Trying to pass the time, she fiddled with a lock of her hair.
The lights of the venue were now all switched on, making the ring at the centre of the room look extremely surgical. A couple of RevPro workers were dismantling it, pulling the apron and starting to take down the ropes. Erika moved her attention to another person on the other side of the room who was folding up the chairs, ready to load them away.
Erika tapped her foot on the floor. It was sticky under the sole of her show because of the spilt over drinks. She took some time to count the abandoned plastic cups and forgotten items she could see all over the place, making it look like the crowd partied hard. Which wasn’t far from reality. They had a good crowd at the show that night and everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves wrestlers and guests alike.
She was proud of many of the pictures she had taken. There was a content smile nested on her lips as she was aware she had probably made rent with that event.
There were many pros to working in wrestling. It was a career she hadn’t considered before, even though she had been around the scene for years since her brother was such a massive fan and had been wrestling already for over ten years. So, she had her fair bit of knowledge and was charmed by that world but had never thought it possible to make a career out of it.
Still, now she wasn’t entirely convinced her dream had come true. Somehow, she thought she didn’t deserve it and considered it a privilege. She had hurt and disappointed so many people before, too used to being a problematic teenager than this new responsible adult that Erika was convinced it was only a matter of time before she fell into her old habits again.
But, at the moment, she was enjoying doing what she was doing and paying her living doing liked most. Photography was her life. She loved taking pictures, framing moments and making them hers forever. Plus, her job was fun and granted her the possibility not only to travel and meet many people, but she got to do it all with her dear big brother.
The most important part of following that dream, though, was that it gave her the chance to leave Australia for good. She had followed Mark to the UK only for a few weeks now and yet she hadn’t missed home once. She was always convinced that remaining in Brisbane would have meant the withering of her. There was too much of her past there and she just knew she would have never escaped it.
But, no matter how far she travelled, there was a fear always hidden inside of her that painfully reminded her how easily she could have slipped and ruined her life again.
So easy. So tempting.
“Hey, there,”
She jumped, startled when she heard that voice so close. Erika gasped, placing a hand on her chest as her gaze distractedly lifted on the tall, slim boy approaching her.
“Sorry, mate, didn’t mean to scare ya,”
Erika focused her attention on Kyle and melted into a smile, shaking her head. “Please, don’t be sorry. I was miles away.”
He approached her with a soft smile crossing his fair features. He looked like an elf, with his sharp edges, high cheekbones and glimmering, light eyes. There was something about the boy she was attracted to like a magnet. She couldn’t explain it but she couldn’t take her attention off him either. Although she didn’t trust herself enough to let herself go in that feeling. She and boys weren’t a good match. Her past was full of bad decisions and she had no intention of making another one.
Especially with a pretty, sweet boy like Kyle seemed to be. Especially since he was so close to Mark not only as his colleague and team partner but being taken in like a little brother as well. She just couldn’t risk it.
“Can I sit?” He pointed at the chair to her side.
“Of course,” Erika nodded, trying to shake the cringe off herself. Her skin rippled in goosebumps only thinking about having him too close. She couldn’t think too clearly when he looked at her, which was just ridiculous.
He dropped his bag with his ring gear on the floor and fell heavily on the little chair distending his long legs. “So, what do you think about the show?”
“I think it was great!” Erika smiled, looking at him and damning herself for the excitement it gave her to share a moment alone with Kyle. She felt the butterflies in her stomach warming up. “That move you did,” she tried to regain focus, looking back on the ring, “off the top buckle? That was so good!”
“You think?” He wondered following her eyes to the ring. “I thought I landed badly and everyone noticed.”
“Well, if you did, I didn’t see it.” Erika didn’t mention how closely she was looking at his moves. She cleared her voice, lifting her professional camera. “I took a cool shot of your front flip mid-air, wanna see?”
“Hell yeah,” Kyle scooted closer, looking over her shoulder as she fiddled with her camera.
Erika tried her best to remain calm and not react to his closeness but it was hard. His scent was inebriating, he smelled of clean linen and lavender. It made her mouth water and her hands shake with the desire to push her face into his neck and inhale.
She shrugged off a shiver, concentrating on the dozens and dozens of pictures she was scrolling through and then smiled when she finally found the one, showing it to him from the small camera screen. “There it is. It will look a thousand times better once I develop it. But even like this, it looks pretty good.”
“Shit me,” Kyle attentively took her camera into his hands, handling it with care as he looked into the screen, examining the picture she took. “Is that how I look when I do it?”
Erika nodded. “Cool uh? You look very good.”
“Could I have a copy of the picture once you develop it?”
“Of course! I mean, I generally do give the guys I work for a hard copy and a file copy that I share with the wrestlers too. So, you’ll be good to go.”
“Can I have a look at the rest of the pictures?”
“Yes,” Erika cleared her voice, “I mean, I haven’t peaked through them so most of them will be off-focus or blurry but sure.”
As he pressed the little arrow button, starting to look at all the pictures she had taken of the evening, Erika slowly started to feel a warm feeling spread through her. She was suddenly fidgety, wondering what went on in his mind as he looked at what she could do. It was somehow intimate, showing to him. Erika’s pictures were used by companies and wrestlers alike on their socials, but no one knew it came from her, there. This felt like Kyle just had access to a very personal window of how she viewed the world.
“Wow, you are good at this,” Kyle smiled distractedly, still scrolling through her work. “These are so good.”
Erika blushed. And immediately froze, feeling panic settling in her nerves. She looked away, imposing herself to find some control over her emotions. She had never blushed before, not for a boy anyway.
“Thank you,” she pushed her hand out, hinting to him to give her back the camera. “It won’t take me long to get the pictures fixed up and printed, so you can see them once they are done.”
“Do you have a studio?” He wondered with interest stretching on the chairs by his side.
Erika shook her head. “I will in a few weeks. I am trying to get a lease on a tiny hole of an office from where I’ll be able to work. I am planning to have a proper dark room and maybe even a desk space to hire an assistant. But for now, I am doing it the old-fashioned way,”
“What’s that?”
“My laptop.” She explained shrugging, “It’s a bit of a hit or miss kind of job, sometimes it pays well, sometimes it doesn’t. But I think I can make it work better If I get access to an office space.”
“Like an investment.”
“Yes,” Erika smiled, appreciating his care to know details about her more than what she was supposed to. “Exactly that.”
“Are you coming out with us tonight?” He then wondered leaning his head to the side.
She felt his eyes on her and wanted to bask under his attention. She had never had a problem with that. Generally, she thrived when she was under the spotlight. She was a very confident young woman aware of her appearance. Maybe too much, sometimes. She had won many things, in the past, because of her pretty face. Especially hearts. She was used to having it her way, but when she decided she wanted someone there wasn’t escaping it. Except with Kyle felt different. She didn’t want to conquer him or win him over. She liked him. Not only his appearance, even though his large smile made her feel things she had never felt before. The real deal was the kindness of heart he had; he was so polite in the way he behaved, and he wore his heart on his sleeve and wasn’t apologetic about it.
Plus, he was spoiling her. Kyle made her feel seen and listened to in ways she wasn’t used to. Which said a lot about the relationships or situationships she had in the past.
And that was precisely why it was so dangerous to play with that fire and she did everything in her power to fight against it. She could see it would lead to ruin for all parties involved.
“Nah, I don’t think so,” She looked away, sadness settling in, aching in her chest.
She wanted to go. She wanted to spend some time socialising. She wanted to be around him. But precisely because he seemed to want her there, she was better off staying away from booze and pretty boys.
“What!? Really? There’s a darts tournament between the guys, sure you want to miss that? I mean not to brag, but I’d beat you at darts.” He winked.
Erika felt flushed. “I’d love that because I think I might be good a darts” she damned herself as soon as she said that, “But I have an early train in the morning. Can’t miss it.”
“Oh, I see. Well. that’s a shame,”
“Next time, maybe?”
“You are on.”
“Oi,” A deep, thunderous voice echoed through the empty venue. Both she and Kyle jumped on their seat, turning over to find Mark waiting. “Ready to go?”
Erika huffed, looking over at her brother studying them. He didn’t seem too happy and she knew why. So, even before he could say anything, she jumped up and grabbed her back and jacket, putting some distance with Kyle.
“What were you doing?” He wondered quietly once she was close.
Erika shrugged. “Nothing, we were waiting for you.”
Before he could say anything more, Kyle approached her side and the two exchanged a fist bump. Mark didn’t continue, but she could see the concern hiding in his gaze. And it hurt her.
Mark hid behind a smile as he welcomed the boy, “Hey, mate,” he was so affectionate to Kyle that it made her heartache. She was happy they met. Kyle was a good friend to her brother. But, again, that was yet another complication and another reason for her to stay as far from the Aussie as she could.
“I’m gonna head home,” she started, hinting at the door as she fixed her bag on her shoulder.
“Yeah?” Mark looked at her, “I thought you were coming to the pub?”
“Nah,” Erika shook her head. She wished she didn’t but her gaze wandered on Kyle briefly. “I am quite tired. I think it’s for the best.”
“Okay,” Mark pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead. “Grab a cab though. I don’t want you around the underground alone at this hour.”
“I’ll call one now. You boys go ahead and have fun. I’ll leave the light on in the hall for you when you come home.”
She watched them approaching the venue door. Mark pulled Kyle under his arm as they walked and they merged with some of the other wrestlers on the show that same night. A few of the boys waved goodbye at her before they left. Just then, she approached the bar counter, releasing a soft sigh.
“Hey,” she hinted at the barman cleaning up, “would you be so kind to call me a cab, mate?” She wasn’t even trying to hide her disappointment. Just thinking about all that she may be missing made her heartache. It felt like the more distance there was between her and Kyle, the more she hurt.
Pathetic. She had to snap out of that little crush and get over it. And fast.
“Sure thing, sweetheart,” he stepped towards her, “can I get you a drink while you wait? On the house,” the boy winked at her. His flirtatious behaviour bounced right off her. His charm too, didn’t bother her.
“Nah, thank you, I am good.”
She could see the barman’s interest following her movements as he leaned on the counter in front of her. He was an attractive man, sure, and she had no doubt his pretty face and that little stunt of chatting up the ladies probably got him places before. She knew it all too well. She was it too. But even though she knew well how it worked and she felt like she should have been fluttered by his attention, maybe even intrigued, it just slid off her without making her feel a thing. If not slight discomfort.
Before he could say or ask something else, Kyle ran back in, approaching her. “Hey, Erika?”
“Yes?” She immediately turned towards him, not even noticing how much her heart and body moved for the Aussie. “What is it? You ok?”
“Yes, yeah,” he nodded, sliding a hand to the back of his neck. He was blushing so sweetly it made her think about strawberries. Though his eyes were bright and sharp as he looked at her. “I was wondering, could I have your number?”
Erika choked. She knew everything wrong with that. It was the same reason why she wasn’t allowing herself to go out. It was why she avoided being around the house alone with Fletch when Mark wasn’t around. It was why she had avoided being around him in general. Except when she didn’t and fell into whatever it was that attracted them like magnets.
It was stronger than her common sense, she was nodding even before she could think straight and kept being selfish as Kyle offered her his phone for her to type her number in.
He was smiling like an idiot. Or maybe it was her.
When he got his phone back, he held it like a trophy. “Thanks,”
“Don’t tell Mark,” She suggested, probably saying the first smart thing in a minute.  
Kyle offered her the largest of smiles and then dashed off.
As he left, she felt all the warmth he brought with him leaving her body and making her feel empty.
“That little prick has balls,” the guy behind the bar chuckled.
Erika smiled, still looking at the door. “That he does.”
“So, how is it that a pretty girl like you is not going out celebrating with all those boys?”
Erika tapped her nails on the wood, starting to feel an itch under her skin. She wanted to be vague, she knew what was the polite, British way of just generally saying stuff without actually saying anything to strangers. But she was too tired for that too. Politeness hardly got her anywhere.
“Well, let me tell you,” She began, “Got a crush on that little prick,” she vaguely pointed at the door, “he is my brother’s best friend and I can’t afford to fuck that up so,” she huffed, “I am staying well clear and doing everything in my power to get over him.”
“But you just gave him your number.”
“Yes, I never said I was smart at it.”
The guy behind the bar smiled. “I’m Matt, by the way,”
“Erika,” she said as they shook hands.
“So, Erika,” he looked up at her, hitting her up with a gaze she was sure had conquered many hearts before, “Want some help forgetting about the little prick?”
The proper way was to politely decline, get a cab, go home and do her best to accept going to bed alone. That would have been the new adult, mature way to deal with the situation. She was well aware of what was expected of her. But still chose otherwise.
The comfort of her old ways, knowing exactly what would have happened and how she would have felt was much better than knowing how much she was going to be eaten up by regrets, alone, in her little room.
“What time do you get off?” She wondered melting into a smile.
She didn’t much care for the guy himself. But he offered a distraction and it seemed like a valid idea not to think about Kyle.
“Half an hour.”
She nodded and took a seat on one of the stools, “In that case, I’ll take that drink, thank you.”
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February 2018
A few weeks later, Erika stood in the centre of the small room she could call an office.
The place was a little dishevelled. It was dark, cold and a little dump; the rent was overpriced, but it was hers. The walls could have done with a new touch of paint, and she was convinced the space would have looked much more welcoming and personal with pictures hanging up; the carpet seriously needed a deep cleaning, and the sad curtains by the windows needed to be retired, but she still looked at it with the most pride.
A smile crossed her lips, and her heart was leaping out of her chest as she toyed with the set of keys the agency gave her. She still didn’t feel secure enough to trust her dream coming true, but that was a pretty big step forward compared to where she had come from only six months before.
“Hey-o,” she recognised Kyle’s voice immediately as he chirped from the entrance door, “anybody in there? Erika?”
Her heart jumped out of her chest.
“Come on in!” She welcomed him, skipping back to the door where she found the Aussie. “What are you doing here?”
As soon as he saw her, he whipped out a massive smile and pulled, from behind his back, a big bunch of colourful flowers and a bottle of bubbles. “Well, I thought the situation required celebrating!” He offered her his presents.
Erika’s chest tightened as she took the flowers and brought them up so she could smell them. Then she took the bottle too, looking at it with interest. She melted into a sweet smile, immediately damning herself for what she was feeling.
Whatever tied her to Kyle only got stronger and deeper day by day. She tried to fight it. She tried to deflect and lie to herself, pretending that ignoring it all was enough to make it disappear. And yet, Kyle was constantly there to remind her how wrong she was.
She just needed to look at him to feel a magnetism pulling her towards him, making her hands tremble with the need to touch him. But it was a constant battle she fought, leaving her feeling cold and empty every time she denied herself her wish.
And yet, he kept coming. He kept being there, around her, everywhere, even when they were far from each other, she still felt him. Every day he made it a point to wish her good morning and good night. He’d ask her about her day and listen with interest to everything she had to say. He’d make her laugh. He’d give her compliments. He was just present in her life. How she wished she could say confidently they were only friends.
But friends didn’t desperately wish to kiss each other.
Thinking about that made her realise she was looking at his lips and she had to force herself off the thought.
“Thank you, Fletch, this is so sweet of you,” she looked up at him, leaning her head to the side, “I wasn’t expecting it.”
“Why did you think I asked you the address of this place?” He chuckled, “I wanted to make sure you welcomed this new chapter with the right energy.”
Erika smiled, absolutely smitten by him and his selfless, unashamed caring.
“Thank you,” before she could even think clearly and stop herself, she leaned in for a hug. Her intention was for it to be quick and polite. That was what friends did, wasn’t it? She couldn’t be further from the truth.
Kyle welcomed her with a soft hold and, by the time she wrapped her arms loosely around his waist and pressed her face into his chest, the world stopped spinning.
Erika tightened her hold around him, only for Kyle to do the same, taking the initiative to lean his chin on the top of her head, cradling her softly.
There was no salvation after that for her. Erika was toasted. Her heart was beating so fast inside her chest that she was sure he could feel it too. Her stomach twisted as warmth flooded through her, fuzzing her thoughts and waking up a hunger, a desire in her lower abdomen that would only hurt with every second she wouldn’t give into it.
“I wanted to be here for you, today,” he gave away, brushing a soft, intimate kiss on her temple.
Erika looked up at him and Kyle’s bright gaze fell into hers as he dived into her eyes. He was so close his scent was inebriating her senses. He looked so pretty she couldn’t take it.
“Did you come alone?”
Kyle nodded, “Your brother doesn’t even know I am here.”
Erika felt so dirty for lying to Mark.
They had kept a low profile, pretending nothing was going on and they hadn’t spent the past weeks texting. Sometimes they’d text from across the same room and Mark would take the piss out of Kyle for texting his “little lady”, not knowing she was the one receiving his interest. They made a little joke out of it, but Erika didn’t find it funny.
She hated shutting Mark out. He knew everything about her and could read her like a book. But he didn’t know that part. She was terrified of his reaction if he had known what was going on between her and Kyle, which was nothing. She lied to herself too, constantly. Even though the second she found herself around Kyle it was undeniable she was the most clueless of them all.
Erika gulped, looking down at Kyle’s lips again, unable not to, his mouth was so attractive to her. Especially when he was so close.
Kyle dared to cup her face in his palms. Erika sighed, closing her eyes and letting herself go in his soft hold. His hands were big and warm. And she was dying to feel them all over her.
“I want to kiss you,” he whispered, so close to her face she tasted his breath on her tongue. A hot shiver crossed her. “I like you, Erika. Been liking you a while.”
“Kyle,” she tried to find some common sense, although only the idea of refusing him ripped her chest apart. “We can’t.”
“Why?”
“Mark,” she was still holding the flowers and the bottle of bubbly in her hands, and even though she was trying to fight for her life not to succumb to him, she didn’t even dare to move an inch away. “He’d never approve.”
“Leave him to me. I am sure if there’s someone he’d like to be with his sister, that would be me.”
“No, Kyle, it’s not you the one he wouldn’t approve of. It’s me. I am not good for you,”
“Let me decide that.”
“You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me,”
“Then tell me. I want to know you.”
Erika chuckled dryly, quickly dismissing him. He would have run away, as far as possible from her if he had known half of the things she did.
“I mean it,” he continued, “I want to know everything about you.”
“You make it so hard,” she whispered, moulding herself in his hold as Kyle softly caressed her jawline.
“I am not hearing a good reason to stop.” He leaned in, brushing his lips on her forehead, “Tell me no and I’ll fuck off. But if you want it too,” as he moved, hovering above her, Erika moved her head, raising her chin only so their lips would touch. “Then,” he continued, whispering so close to her mouth it gave her goosebumps.
Before he could continue, Erika took the worst decision of her life and, dropping the flowers on the floor, she grabbed him by his t-shirt and pulled him down in a kiss, desperately clinging onto him and releasing everything she had stopped herself from feeling for so long. Selfishly taking everything she wanted from him.
Kyle blindly closed the door behind him and then his arms wrapped around her, pulling her against him. His hands ran across her body, feeling her curves, grabbing on her clothes, only to pull her tighter against him.
Unapologetically, Kyle slipped a hand into her hair grabbing a handful and made her bend underneath him, deepening their kiss. As soon as their tongues crossed and his flavour exploded into her mouth, Erika released a soft moan, feeling her body waking up completely.
However, before she could slip into deeper waters of desire and future regrets, Erika gathered the strength to push him off herself.
“Kyle, please stop,” her breath was heavy as she kept her hand on his chest, not to keep him far from her but to feel him.
“Did I do something wrong?” He wondered, checking she was ok.
Erika shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. Because the only wrong she could identify in that entire situation was the distance between them.
She had a taste. She scratched the itch. That was going to be it. It was going to have to be enough.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. We can’t happen. Please,” her heart shattered into a million pieces seeing the look he gave her. “Please,” she whispered again, almost getting lost in his eyes.
Kyle accepted her choice and let her go, taking two steps back. He leaned picking up the flowers and passed them over to her, shrugging awkwardly. “Here, take them.”
She felt defeated as she accepted the flowers back. She couldn’t bear the idea of seeing him leave and didn’t want to accept them being done. It was supposed to be the way, just severing their little fling or whatever, but she was stupid and selfish.
“Do you want a little tour?” She wondered, hoping Kyle would indulge her.
He didn’t disappoint and melted into a gentle smile, nodding. “I’d love to.”
They held hands as she showed him around, telling him everything about how she envisioned her studio.
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March 2018
Erika stood ringside, her trusted camera at hand as she watched the match through its lenses.
The crowd was hot tonight. They clapped and booed, chanted and roared and were generally super involved in the matches, which was something she always loved to see.
Erika moved around the ring, taking every occasion to grab a shot, just like she always did, capturing as much of the energy in the ring as she could.
The two boys going at it right now were new in the company, she never met them before, but that didn’t change a single thing in the way the crowd perceived them. The heel was doing his job, flipping everyone off at any given occasion only to get everyone’s boos up. And the other, being the good guy he was, was there to make him regret it every time.
How she loved wrestling. It was such a theatrical, highly athletic pantomime.
The match ended with the good guy pinning the heel. The crowd went wild. Erika too, smiled, as she kept taking her shots of the guy celebrating.
Then, as the guys cleared out and the announcer moved back to the ring, starting to explain the next match on the mic, Erika moved too towards the wrestlers’ entrance, readying her camera to capture Aussie Open’s entrance.
Of course, she was working for the wrestling company and her work needed to be equally good for all the participants in the events. But she couldn’t help herself from having favourites. The number of pictures she had taken of Kyle and her brother that she had never sold because they were candid shots of two guys and had nothing to do with wrestling was embarrassing. Especially of Kyle’s. She loved taking his pictures. But that was a secret, of course.
Still, she patiently waited there, camera at hand, kneeling to take a good shot of them coming out in their new shiny, matchy gear.
Aussie Open was announced and their music started as they rolled out, basking in the crowd's welcome.
Erika smiled behind the camera, taking her pictures as the two posed and then moved with them to the ring.
Mark and Kyle slipped through the ropes and circled the apron, looking into the room, and pointing at people in the crowd only to get a reaction. They were both talking some shit either to the crowd or to each other, fully committed to their role.
Then, as Kyle confidently strode by the corner she was hanging around, he broke character one moment to look down at her, offering her one of his sweet smiles. “Hey, baby,”
Erika took a picture of him, grabbing that moment for herself. He called her baby now. Not always, but when he did it made her feel warm all over. It was so hard for her not to reach out and touch him.
Mark approached Kyle and landed a heavy hand on his shoulder, bringing him to turn as the announcer presented their competitors. Erika moved around the ring again, towards the entrance, ready to go back to being a hundred per cent professional.
She kneeled by the crowd, exchanging a quick, polite smile with a couple of guys by her side who seemed to be enjoying the show just like everyone else. She leaned ready to take her shots.
And then Erika was stricken. Nothing could have prepared her for the frosty feeling taking over her as the heavy hand of a stranger landed on her ass, giving her an unrequired smack. She felt the stranger’s touch straight into her stomach and it made her twitch as his fingers dared to squeeze on her.
She turned quickly towards him and raised her camera, taking a shot of his face. She acted out of instinct, not thinking about the consequences. It was the only thing she could consciously think of doing. No words were coming out. Not even anger. Just pure, disgusted surprise.
“Hey,” he angrily confronted her, trying to grab her camera, “Cancel that, you bitch. I haven’t permitted you to take a picture of my face.”
She wanted to say she hadn’t permitted him to squeeze her ass either. It was on the tip of her tongue. And yet. Nothing came out.
Erika stepped away, hiding her camera behind her back, feeling something close to fear choke her as the guy stood up, ready to chase her. She truly thought he was going to hurt her.
“Hey, hey, you prick,” Kyle shouted, jumping off the ring, and intervening. By then, everyone’s attention was on what was happening there.
Mark followed Kyle as they both stepped in between Erika and the guy in the crowd, who was proud and drunk enough to face them, even when he was no match for either of the Aussies.
“I’ll break that hand of yours, you cunt,” Mark barked.
Kyle stepped in between them, shielding Erika with his body. “You ok?” He touched her face, looking down at her.
Erika didn’t refuse him. Her hands travelled to his wrists, as she moulded under his touch appreciating his closeness. “Yes,” she huffed, her eyes escaping Kyle’s as she looked back at her brother, making sure he didn’t do anything stupid. “I’m ok,” She then tapped on Mark’s shoulder, “Don’t bother,” she suggested, even though the guys seemed to be ecstatic to receive attention. “Mark? Please, leave it alone.”
“Maybe you should get her to wear something more covering. You can’t blame me.” The guy was drunk. He was mumbling his nonsense only looking for a fight and Erika hated that she didn’t want her brother to give it to him. “When they look like sluts, I say they look for it-”
There was no stopping Mark after that.
Before she could even think about trying and stop him from jumping to the guy’s throat, Kyle scooped her away, trapping her in between his arms, and protecting her. This time, she hid in between his arms, closing her eyes. She didn’t want to see what she had caused.
The crowd shouted so loudly it made her head hurt.
The announcer, from the ring called for security that came through to break the fight and to kick out the people who disturbed the show.
“I’m sorry,” she shook her head, “I am sorry, I didn’t mean it.”
Kyle shook his head, kissing her forehead tenderly. “Don’t you dare to apologise,” he chanted to her ear, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
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Later on, that same evening the mood was off.
After the incident, going back to the regular flow of the show had been difficult. While Kyle and Mark were supposed the be heels and treated as such, the crowd started loving them after they displayed chivalry. Everyone kept asking her if she was ok from that point on. And she hated it. Erika just hid behind her camera the rest of the evening, pretending detached politeness, but didn’t ever move from ringside.
Now they were gathered for a drink and some late food at a local pub just around the corner from the venue where the show took place. Erika sat in her booth enjoying a plate of steaming hot chips as she watched Kyle play pool with two of the boys from the show.
When he smiled, she smiled too, wondering what had been said to make him laugh.
Mark heavily dropped himself next to her, placing his beer and a massive portion of nachos, blocking her view.
“Hey,” she welcomed him with a smile.
Mark was deadly serious. “I know something is happening between you and Kyle.”
“OK?” Erika frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t be vague with me, I’ve suspected it for a while. I see the way you two look at each other. And tonight, with the way he protected you-”
“Mark,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “You did the same thing.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me the way you two were hugging was nothing.”
She didn’t look at him. “It was just a hug.”
“I love you. I will always love you. You know that. And believe me, it hurts me to say this. I know I’m being an ass right now, but I want you to stay away from Kyle.”
Every word that came out of Mark’s mouth slashed through her like a knife. It was a painful reminder of everything she had been, everything she had done. Everything her brother had to fix for her. Not leaving any space for the person she was desperately trying to become.
“Why?” She challenged him, gulping down her pain, and looking straight into his eyes.
“You know why. I can’t stand the idea of watching you hurt him. Because you will. Maybe not willingly. But he doesn’t deserve it all the same.”
Erika's chest ached. She looked away, trying to hide away her pain. She wanted to shout and cry and kick, but couldn’t. Somehow, she trusted her brother more than how she trusted herself. It was easier to accept that he must have been right about her. It must be like he said. She wasn’t good for Kyle and would have never been good.
“I mean it, Erika. I’d break the world for you. But I’d do the same for Kyle.”
“You are breaking me right now,” she shook her head and then looked back at him, anger flooding through her gaze, lighting her up. “You think I haven’t tried to stay away? See? I knew you’d end up telling me this and I did. Stayed as far as I could. Pretty difficult to do when we live together, travel together and work together,” Erika shrugged. “But it is as you said. I obviously can’t offer anything better to someone than failure.”
“That’s not what I meant,”
“Don’t you dare try and justify your cruelty. You said it, loud and clear. I am not good enough for Kyle. Thank you, brother, for reminding me.”
She grabbed her stuff and got up, storming out.
Something stirred inside of her. It was an old, familiar feeling of how she was used to dealing with strong emotions from before. Part of her was trying so hard to be better. But she didn’t know how when even her brother, her only anchor in that world, didn’t believe in her.
Anger and pain were easy to suppress or ignore when she was self-destructing, taking everyone else down with her in the process. 
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majesticwren · 3 months
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this is part II of this previous smutty one-shot. That one is still a stand-alone but, after this point, it is officially a multichaper. part III to come soon. edit: part III is done. be advised, this entire project is done solely for my pleasure, i am indulging myself so much with this. the angst that it carries (because yes there will be more coming - i am very good very evil) it's the energy I crave please don't come for me and trust the process I'll feed you smut. it is edited but not proofread. enjoy.
trigger warning/s: angst angst angst, poly relationship dynamics, reference to sex, reference to threesome, smut, oral f receiving, shit loads of misunderstandings and miscommunication, swearing, OFC is unhinged and is her own trigger warning.
<- part I | part III -> prequel part I -> | part II -> | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist
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Erika sat still and collected. She had already been told off a few times because she was too fidgety so, now, it became a game of control on her own subconscious and nervous system.
She was releasing her frustration by biting the inside of her cheek and lips instead. It was just as bad as bouncing her knee or just generally being unable to sit still and empty-handed for longer than thirty seconds, but it was better manageable when her nail technician required her absolute stillness to work.
Not that she was winning. Not at all. Her mind was too busy. But, at least, it was fun to pretend she had everything under control. Everything was fine. Erika kept repeating that to herself – like a prayer. She truly believed if she did it for long enough it would have become true. Because the alternative was having a breakdown, and she couldn’t afford one of those. Not when it risked to jeopardize the precarious balance her life had.
She was happy. She had been happy for a very long time. She had no right to suddenly feel like her very lucky, very privileged life could be somehow tight. And yet, she couldn’t shake the claustrophobic feeling of feeling trapped in a small box. This was exactly why she spent every waking second feeling guilty and every sleeping moment being tormented by her subconscious painfully reminding her about everything she didn’t have.
It wasn’t fair. And not because she thought the universe was torturing her, but because she was aware she was the problem.
She was a wild card; which was all fun and games until she got to moments of her life like that one when she decided she needed a revolution.
When she was younger, she tended to act out. Sometimes she thought her family was too nice, so she went and created problems. Sometimes she hated being pretty and how easy life seemed to be, so she would become nasty. Sometimes people would assume she was nothing more than a pretty face, and she would think about the smartest, cruellest way to get revenge. Sometimes all Erika craved was attention and would indulge in sex, alcohol or drug abuse to get what she wanted. It started when she was very young, some may say too young to understand the consequences of her actions. Her brother helped her out of most of the shit she found herself drowning in even before she was twenty.
And then she met Kyle.
He had been different from any other guy or girl she had ever interacted with. She knew since the very beginning he was special to her, she was attracted to him like a moth to light. She couldn't stay away. But he too was a little rebellious act she did despite Mark when her brother noticed her interest, assumed wrong of her intentions and suggested to her to stay away from Kyle because he had no intention of seeing her breaking his heart.
She took him literally and proceeded to do exactly what Mark had asked her not to. She broke Kyle’s heart. And it took her time to understand her mistake and fix it.
The thing was, she wasn’t a teenager anymore. She hadn’t allowed herself to act on a whim in a very long time and she wasn’t about to justify herself to risk ruining her perfect fairytale life.
She got to do the job of her dreams, having a career many would kill for, not only that but she was also making good money for her skill. And she got to travel the world side by side with her amazing, beautiful and talented boyfriend, making many friends along the way. It felt like nothing but a privilege to her. Some may have been deserved, but privilege all the same.
The idea that she was going to possibly ruin it all was terrifying.
But, everything was fine, she reminded herself.
“So,” Regina, the girl working on her nails, sent her a curious look from the other side of the table. “You look very pretty today. I see you had your lashes done?”
“Just this morning,” Erika nodded, “and my hair too.”
“I see,” the girl’s look became suddenly cheeky. She was a proper chatter-box who lived for the scandalous gossip her clients brought to the salon. They all were. There and at the hair salon just across the way. Which was mostly pleasant and harmless, but Erika had a feeling of what was coming and didn’t have the patience to hold a conversation. “Any special occasion?”
She shrugged. “Just a little party between friends.”
“Ah, yes?”
“My brother is coming back from Australia after a month,” Erika decided to give in a little, “we organised a small gathering for him.”
“You are an awful lot beautiful for just a casual event.”
“Can’t change perfection, sorry darling,” Erika giggled, finding some soothe in the distraction that conversation brought.
Regina chuckled too. “And what about your dashing boyfriend? Is he gonna be there?”
Erika grinned proudly, knowing very well how pretty Kyle was and how much attention he always got. Thankfully she wasn’t the jealous type. “Of course. You might be in for a treat actually,” Erika raised her chin, basking in her bragging. “He is around and will pick me up when I’m done.”
“Oh,” Regina shook her shoulders, all excited, “You just made my day. Girls!” she called referring to the rest of the salon, “Erika’s boyfriend is popping by!” A small burst of celebrations occurred among the girls present, someone clapped, someone tapped the work surface and a few howled, just for everyone to then cheer joyfully. Erika too, giggled to herself allowing herself to let go of some of her concerns.
Thinking about Kyle made it better. Mostly.
“You will understand what we mean as soon as you see him,” Regina hinted to the girl sitting next to Erika, who was giving everyone very suspicious looks. “I tell you these Australians are something else.”
Erika shook her head, rolling her eyes. “What can I say, eh? We are the best country in the world, after all.”
“Well, tell me about this party, girlie,” Regina continued, focusing back on the final details of her nails. “Are all your famous friends going to be there?”
“No,” any trace of joy left Erika. She huffed as enthusiasm washed off her. She was just exhausted. “Just a couple,”
“Well? Cheer up, love, what’s that sudden long face for? You can’t be all done up like this and be sad. Not on my nails.”
“I’m sorry Regina,” Erika sighed, “I am just tired, it’s been a long day and I haven’t slept at all well.”
“I bet. With a guy like your boy, I’d struggle to sleep every night too.”
Erika chuckled. She knew exactly how to respond to keep that little chitchat going, just to occupy time, but she didn’t say it. She was done talking. Not because she didn’t enjoy it, only because she was done holding up a mask. Her social battery was running out so quickly and she still had to deal with the last bits to get ready for the party and the event itself.
It wasn’t like she wasn’t looking forward to seeing her brother after so long. She was so happy he was coming back to the UK, she missed him so much. But the idea of a party with all their close friends was enough to make her feel exhausted already. To be precise, it was the idea of a party with Will present that made her feel completely overwhelmed.
Will was her problem.
Her chest still ached thinking about how cold and awkward it had been between them ever since the night they spent together. He didn’t seem to have any problem with Kyle, they kept spending as much time together as they could. But with her, he was a completely different guy.
They hadn’t talked since the morning after. And ever since, Will had been avoiding her. If they were so unlucky to cross paths, the words they exchanged were brief and distant. No eye contact.
Saying she was heartbroken wasn’t enough.
Erika was aware they only had sex once and no one had talked about feelings. Yet, she wasn’t prepared to be treated so awkwardly. Especially after what they had. It meant something to her. It meant something Will stayed that night and they all slept snuggled on each other. It meant something that she now knew the scent of his skin or how he snored when he was on his right side.
Being aware of what they shared and that Will now took part of her away, even if he wasn’t willing to accept it, was the only thing she could think about. And it was her burden to carry. Every time she had to remind herself how things were going to be carved a deeper hole into her chest. And at the same time, there was a need, a hunger, gnawing at her bones, leaving her feeling cold. And alone.
The most shameful part of it was that she didn’t have the heart to open up with Kyle about it. For the first time, she found herself keeping secrets from him.
She felt dirty every second and she knew Kyle was trying his best to understand her and leaving her space, although she also knew he was hurting knowing something was happening. It was a price she was willing to pay, though. She had no intention of being the reason to slip any doubt in between him and Will.
Erika had tried to soothe whatever was going on between them in the second best way she knew how to be close to Kyle since she had decided not to talk with him, and that was through sex. They had a way of always finding each other when they were intimate. It created a connection that was able to reassure her and take away some of her pain. Although the thought of Will was never gone for long.
She had thought about it long and hard. For some time, she had even started to get extremely concerned, wondering whether or not she had made the biggest mistake of her life and had cheated on Kyle right in front of him. But then she pretty quickly realised that wasn’t the case. The worth Kyle had to her was unchanged, Kyle still owned her heart. Only now it also ached for someone else.
“Oh,” Regina cooed, “heads up,” the moment she hinted at the entrance door, the bell rang, announcing someone’s arrival.
Erika followed Regina’s gaze and immediately melted into a warm smile as she recognised Kyle. Her body relaxed, her skin warmed up and her spirit shone a little brighter for him.
“Hey,” she chirped.
The salon seemed to fall into awe. Erika was hoping it was only her impression, although she didn’t miss the awkward, timid look Kyle sent all around. The more eyes set on him he found, the more his cheeks blushed.
He held his half-empty gym bag in one hand and was still wearing his gym gear, which was composed of baggy shorts and an unmatching old hoodie he had ripped the sleeves off only so he could show his arms. It was incredible how effortless his prettiness was. He could still look so attractive even in the lowest maintenance circumstances. It was mind-blowing.
“Hey baby,” his voice broke her train of thought, “you ok?”
“Your girlie here seems to be very tired,” Regina looked directly at him, sending him a challenging look, “she said you keep her up all night.”
Kyle blushed violently. His pale eyes glimmered with interest as he looked back at Erika, puzzled but amused as a timid smile peeked on his lips. “Pardon?”
“Nothing. Ignore her, please,” Erika sent a warning glare to Regina, hoping she could behave herself.
Kyle cleared his voice and nodded, “Right. Are you almost done?” He wondered leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the lips.
Erika looked back at Regina who nodded, looking at her work on her nails. “Almost. Ten, fifteen minutes?”
Kyle’s attention didn’t move from Erika. “Do you want me to come back?”
“No,” Regina replied instead, offering a kiss-ass grin, “Stay, have a seat on our booth, we got lovely colourful magazines and fresh cucumber water! Just ask.”
To his sudden confusion, Erika chuckled, leaning her head back as she looked up at him. “You are very popular in this establishment baby, you might want to consider switching careers.”
“Oh, yeah?” he wondered leaning in for another kiss, causing some of the women around them to ooh them. “And what would you have me do, ladies?”
“Just stand there and be pretty. That’s more than enough.” Erika explained.
Kyle offered a large smile to everyone present. “I see. Well, I’ll be sitting over there where everyone can easily look at me while you finish up.”
“Thank you,” Erika cooed and looked at him as he crossed the small salon and dropped himself on the small booth by the door. “Will says hi, by the way,” he casually began, opening up a random magazine.
Erika choked.
She turned towards Regina, as if hiding away could somehow shoo off the feelings that hit her like a landslide of heavy boulders rolling above her chest. So many questions crowded her mind, but, above anything, she was outraged.
What did it mean that Will said hi? Just like that? Casually? Like nothing happened? Was that the next step? From the awkwardness of knowing they saw each other naked and had sex to the complete denial it even ever happened? Was she that forgettable? And why would Kyle just say it like that? Like it was the most normal thing in the world? Did he think nothing happened too? Did that night mean nothing to him? Was he truly so blind not to notice how she was hurting and how Will hadn’t talked to her in days?
The room around her felt suddenly too small to breathe. The low murmur surrounding her and the ambience music became too loud to bear. She felt like she was falling into a black void and sitting there, unable to move, was unthinkable.
“Are you ok?”
Erika ignored Regina, shaking her words with a shrug. “Yes. Can you hurry up?”
“I mean I have the last layer of polish to do,” Regina frowned, “are you not feeling well?”
“No, I am ok, thank you. Just finish up, I just remembered I have something urgent I need to do.”
Erika barely managed to sit after that. She felt uncomfortable in her clothes, under her skin. When her nails were finally done, she had never bolted out of that place as quickly as she did. Generally, she’d indulge in some small chit-chat and a drink or their flavoured water, just as a courtesy. Not that time. She didn’t even stop to give Kyle the time to get up.
“Hey,” he shouted at her as she went through the door, “Hey, Erika, hold on,” he continued and when she didn’t stop for him, he grabbed her arm, bringing her to a hold. “Baby, what’s wrong?
She hissed, shaking her head. “Nothing is wrong. Let’s just go. Mark will land in a few hours,”
“Yes. I know. I am the one who needs to go pick him up.” Erika tried to escape his hold, but Kyle held on, his grab was gentle but solid. “Will you stop one second? What happened? What did I do?”
Her heart was squeezed between guilt and regret. Erika raised a hand to him, cupping his cheek. “Nothing.” God, she wished she could pick him up and press him into her chest, “You had done nothing wrong; I just want to go home.”
How much she wished that could be enough. She wanted to drown in his eyes and disappear.
Kyle hesitated. His eyes cruised on her face, trying to read the answers he wanted from her features. And still, he kept his tongue-tied.
He knew. She was aware Kyle knew something was up. He had known since the very beginning and she knew he was smart enough to connect the dots, only he never dared to overstep. Even though she desperately needed him to shake some sense into her.
He let her go, releasing a soft huff. “Ok.” He raised his hands peacefully, “Let’s take you home.”
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“I’m gonna be late,” Kyle pushed his face into the crook of her neck, brushing his lips on her collarbones.
She released a soft giggle, bending underneath him. “Passport control always takes ages,” Erika argued, wrapping her legs around his waist and keeping him exactly where he was standing in response. “Mark can wait,” she purred, her hands were all over Kyle as she sat back on her vanity table surface, pulling him closer.
He caught her lips in a heated kiss, unable to deny her. His big hands moved on her sides and down to her thighs. As soon as his palms touched her skin, Erika purred, melting under him. He easily lifted the soft material of the silk shift she was wearing, exposing her.
“You are so bad,” Kyle pressed his smile on her chin, “you’d let your brother wait all alone in the airport after the longest flight ever just to have some more sex.”
“Yes,” she pouted, ready to beg if necessary, “you should take it as a compliment.”
They had been going at it ever since they came home. Everything that was supposed to be said, everything that they were supposed to talk about, that Kyle wanted to ask and Erika needed to say, was forgotten once more just so they could find their connection skin on skin.
It was blissful. Selfish, maybe, from both parts. And yet tremendously sweet. When she was between Kyle’s arms her mind was quiet and she felt safe. Nothing was threatening to hurt them. Nothing wrong.
And she simply couldn’t let go.
They had sex already twice while getting ready but it didn’t seem like they were done. It was easy for her to forget she was supposed to concentrate on doing her makeup and let him finish dressing up to go and pick up Mark.
Kyle followed her neck, down to her chest, kissing, licking and nibbling on her soft, sensitive skin. When he continued down her sternum, unbothered by the thin material dividing him from her direct skin, Erika understood his intention and encouraged him with a soft whimper.
He kneeled in front of her throwing her legs over his shoulders. His hands traced to her waist, surrounding her like a belt and holding her steady. His attention was only for her as he looked up, pale blue eyes glimmering with hot lust.
“I do not have time,” he reminded her, bending his head and pressing his lips against the inside of her thigh, “but I can’t leave you knowing you are so needy.”
“No, you can’t,” her breath was hot and heavy as she looked at him move. “God,” she dared to chuckle, pushing a hand into his hair and keeping balance with the other. “You are so pretty in between my thighs it fucking hurts.”
“Yeah?” He wondered, only pretending not to be aware of the effect he had on her. The smirk he pulled gave her a shiver. He kissed higher up on her thigh. His lips were close to her core she felt his hot breath on her exposed flesh, and yet not giving her the satisfaction yet.
She whimpered, nodding and stretching, feeling her need to find pleasure becoming an inconvenient ache pressing on her abdomen. “Please, Kyle,”
He didn’t let her waste any more breath. Holding her steady, he pushed his face into her and ate her up like she was made of honey. Erika almost lost every faculty as soon as his tongue caressed her folds, and she was completely gone by the time he started sucking her flesh. A moan vibrated through his chest, sending her to another planet.
The air was soon filled with the obscene noises of Kyle’s mouth wrapped around her sex, accompanied by her moans. She wasn’t even trying to keep quiet by then.
Pleasure started to build up inside of her stomach, sending electric shivers all across her limbs. Erika barely managed to balance herself up with an arm, but she didn’t care, she craved to push her fingers deeper between his hair just to hold him. In response, he looked straight up at her. His blue eyes were astonishingly beautiful. Making eye contact in such a moment was ravaging, so powerful her skin crawled with goosebumps, as pleasure only built.
Erika didn’t take long to reach her edge and didn’t do anything to try and hold herself. She let herself go as her pleasure took over, growing through her, tensing her muscles as shivers crawled on her skin. Kyle skilfully guided her through her pleasure, following the movement of her hips and the quickness of her breath to know when she got close to reaching her orgasm and then, he gave her exactly what she wanted, exactly what she needed, accompanying her through her release. She unravelled against him, her body shaking uncontrollably between his arms, as she called his name, lost in yet again another wave of pure bliss.
She then watched him rise to his feet. They were both out of breath. Erika felt pure electricity flowing in between them and under her skin and when he cleaned his chin and mouth up with his hand, she quivered, biting down on her lower lip not to beg him for more.
She needed another shower. A cold one.
Erika slid her hands across his bare chest, looking at the scratch marks she left on his skin with extreme pride. “I wish we could just be like this all the time.”
“What? Having sex instead of being responsible and doing adult things?”
“Precisely.” She looked away hiding from him, herself and everything else. The moment he’d leave her she would have only gone back to go insane again.
Kyle smiled softly. It was like he caught a glimpse of her sadness and, cupping her face, he made her look back at him. “I wish you talked to me,” his sweet request hit her right in the middle of the chest and ripped her apart. “You know I am here for you and I will always give you what you want. But I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong.”
She froze. Erika wished she could quit being that way. She wished it was just easier; she wished she let herself accept it could be easier. Instead, she pushed him away. “Yes,” she murmured sadly, “I know.” Erika attentively got back on her feet, still feeling her legs weak underneath her.
Kyle nodded. Her closing up to him once more was something that hurt him. She saw it, she knew him well enough and just wished she could be different.
She tried. For a moment they looked at each other and she truly tried to make her thoughts and emotions into words, but the knot in her throat silenced her. Her hesitation cost her their moment because Kyle was the one who broke eye contact and let her go.
He moved across the room and into the bathroom, quickly making himself presentable before slipping into the clean t-shirt he had already put on twice before and that had been promptly removed and thrown on the floor twice over. Then, he quietly picked a pair of white sketchers and sat on the edge of the bed to put them on.
Erika wanted so badly to pretend everything was ok. They just spent a couple of hours having fun, ignoring responsibilities to just fool around with each other, yet the air between them was suddenly frosty. She still faked it. She was so good at it. She pulled her stool back in front of the table and sat back down, looking at herself in the mirror.
She was a mess. Her makeup needed to be redone. She needed a thick mask to cover up all the hurt showing in her eyes.
“Is it Will?” Kyle finally broke the silence. “Don’t answer to that. I know whatever is going on with you is connected to Will. I am not stupid.”
Erika closed her eyes and looked away, hiding from her reflection and Kyle’s gaze in the mirror. “We don’t have time for this.”
“We do. Passport control takes ages,” Kyle reminded her. “Erika, please, it’s me. Tell me. I need to know if I did something wrong, somehow?”
“You didn’t. You never would,” Erika turned over to him, “But please, I am begging you, I can’t deal to talk about Will.”
“Did he hurt you?” His voice was suddenly so severe it scared her.
“What!?” She shook her head, “No! Of course, not.” Even though he hadn’t acknowledged her for days now, and that distance between them was hurting more than she could ever say.
“Then what? What happened the other night that made you have such a change of heart? I thought you enjoyed yourself.”
“I did,” Erika needed to reassure him. Now more than ever she noticed the frustration he felt in his inability to reach her. Something was tormenting him in and now he wasn’t hiding how desperately he wanted to fix whatever was hurting her.
Erika got up and quickly moved to him. Her hands moved around his face without her even thinking about it, she needed to touch him to make contact. “I did enjoy myself. I wanted it.” Erika had to fight not to let memories flood into her mind.
“Then what is it? I left you your space and I don’t mean to overstep, but I thought you’d take a moment and then you’d look for me. But you haven’t. You are shutting me out.”
“I am not,” she knew he was right and still proceeded to deny it, “I did look for you.”
“When? You are over there and I am over here, I feel you slip away through my fingers.”
Erika took his hand and pressed it against her chest, letting him feel her taking a deep breath. “I just did. I do it all the time.”
Kyle shook his head. “Sex isn’t enough anymore, Erika. I need to know what’s going on in your head. In your heart. I can’t take it anymore, please tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how to fix it.”
“You can’t fix it,” she shook her head, “It will pass. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters. It matters to you. It matters to me. And it matters to Will.”
Erika chuckled sarcastically, shaking her head. “Well about that I doubt.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means nothing. Kyle, please,” she huffed, trying to regulate her emotions in a way that wasn’t falling into an argument with the only person who didn’t deserve any of what she was throwing at him. “Go and pick up Mark. Let’s get through the party and then,”
“Then what? Will you talk to me then?”
“If I say yes?”
“I want to believe you.” Kyle looked up at her, defeated, “I need to believe you. But I don’t.”
“OK, I can deal with that. What I can’t deal with is talking about Will now.”
“You will have to deal with him sooner or later, he is going to come over.”
“Yes, I am aware.”
“I just don’t understand what happened. You just shut both of us out.”
“Kyle,” Erika shook her head, “please, I am begging you.”
He looked so hurt. And so precious. Erika felt the need to scream and break something. It wasn’t fair, he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. And yet she couldn’t bring herself to do anything different. In her chest guilt and shame vibrated, twisting her stomach painfully.
“Right,” Kyle dropped it, “fine.” He got up and leaned in, softly kissing her forehead.
“I am so sorry,” she whispered, looking away, trying to fight her tears and her pain. She hated to put more weight on Kyle’s shoulders, especially since she had the impression he felt somehow responsible.
“When you are ready, I’ll be there,” he left her. “Get ready. I’ll be back soon.”
“Ok,” she whispered and watched him leave the bedroom feeling suddenly so lonely and lost.
She hated herself sometimes. She knew why she acted the way she did. She understood her ways and yet she wished she could snap her fingers and just stop being a prick. Especially with Kyle.
He left without saying goodbye and when she was left completely alone, Erika stood in the middle of her bedroom for an ungodly amount of time, just looking at nothing, spacing out into her doubts and despair.
When she realised she was so cold she was shivering painfully, she decided it was time to get a grip. To not let her brain take over and ruin her completely, she put some music on letting the living room speakers play loud, as she hopped in the shower, hoping to wash her problems off her skin.
An hour later she had all the arrogance to lie even to herself and think she was stronger than ever. Able to tackle anything. Everything was fine. It was still her favourite prayer.
She had decided to melt her nerves helped by a shot of tequila to get her going. Her make-up was done. Her hair was fixed. She looked pretty, expensive and unbothered, just like she wanted. A perfectly executed mask. She only pretended she was wearing a cute outfit she casually picked when she had the specific plan to be looked at.
Will was going to be there and she had every intention of getting his attention, one way or the other. It became a matter of pride. If he was doing everything in his power to ignore her and pretend nothing happened, she was set to make it as difficult as humanly possible for him. She needed to win. It was easier to think it that way than sulk. She was done being passive to her pain. She wanted answers and she would have got them by the end of the evening.
She even had the time to get the ambience around the apartment just right to host a small gathering and just double-checked with the catering that they’d be on time to set up before their friends arrived.
When the doorbell went off, she gasped with surprise, fooling herself she could act completely cool. Everything was fine.
She hopped across her apartment on her tippytoes, still not wearing shoes. She was hoping it could be Kyle and Mark already even though she knew it was way too early. After picking Mark up from the airport, which was a potential forty-five minutes’ drive in traffic, Kyle was supposed to drop Mark back at his place before driving him back there. It couldn’t be them. Plus, Kyle had the keys to get in the house. But she still answered the door with the same enthusiasm and expectations.
“Hello,” she chirped, “come on up. Fifth floor,” she explained, realising it was probably the much less exciting catering guys coming in to set up.
Erika was still fiddling with her golden hoop earrings when she opened the door, ready to welcome their hired employees with a big smile. In the background, Rich Girl, by Daryll Hall and John Oates was playing. “Hi, welcome,” as soon as her eyes set on the person standing by the entrance, she choked. Her smile hung on her lips and slowly froze when she realised, she wasn’t going to welcome Kyle or her brother and neither was the catering.
“Will,” she frowned, her throat sealed shut. It was the first time she saw him in days. She hid behind the door, trying to hold herself up. She had been doing such a good job, she couldn’t crumble the first second they interacted. “What are you doing here?”
He had his hands dug deep into his trousers and was looking straight at the floor, doing everything in his power to avoid eye contact. “Mark’s party. I was invited, remember?”
The monotone in his deep voice drove her insane, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to slam the door in his face or choke him out more.
She rolled her eyes. “Yes. I know. I mean this early.”
He shrugged. “I can come back if you prefer,”
Erika widened the door, sliding to the side and signing him to come in. “Don’t be stupid. Kyle and Mark aren’t here yet though.”
She did everything in her power to maintain her decorum. If she wanted to survive that evening, she needed to rise above. And yet, she already couldn’t think clearly.
As Will entered her home, awkwardly looking around, she inhaled deeply his scent. She was taken by a primal need for her to know what perfume he was wearing. But it went deeper than that as she realised what she was looking for was the smell of his skin, bare, sweaty and marked by sex.
It was beyond her. Memories hit her stronger than ever. She felt his callous hands on her skin, his ghostly fingers traced her body, making her doubt what was reality and what was a dream. She could still taste his mouth on her tongue just as clearly as she could feel his curly hair in between her fingers. Just like she was still in his arms, she could feel the pressure of his hold or the weight of his body on hers.
It was excruciating. Unbearable. Made her want to rip her hair out and run away, never to come back. But mostly, it made her feel so small and insignificant. She wouldn’t have made it.
She wanted him so bad it hurt in places she wasn’t aware could hurt a person.
Will still didn’t look at her. “Do you have any booze?”
“Fridge for beer or wine, and mixers, don’t touch the bubbly. Freezer for vodka. Wine rack for more wine and tequila. Knock yourself out.” She turned around, pretending she didn’t care. Maybe she could have hidden in the bedroom until someone else arrived.
No.
She had promised herself she’d stop being a coward and a prick and would handle the situation. And that was the perfect occasion to get what she wanted.
“I’m gonna finish getting ready. Mind letting the catering people in when they arrive?”
“Sure.” She heard him pop a beer open.
She wondered if he was looking at her then. She hoped he was. She was ready for a fight. She was ready to get it over with because she couldn’t take to have that awful, awkward situation hanging above her life, shaving off happiness from her current relationship. But, deep down, she was still naively hoping to get what she wanted. Which was Will.
She turned around, deciding to get to her best weapons immediately. First artillery fire. She leaned against the bedroom doorframe, looking directly at Will, ignoring how intensely he was studying every title in Kyle’s collection of pop-punk vinyl CDs. She didn’t know him to have ever been that interested in that music genre before.
“Do you like my dress, Will?” She wondered casually and watched his reaction with a dangerous, magnetic smile printed on her lips.
She watched avidly how he stiffened, raising his head and widening his shoulders, which only made her ego grow. Will didn’t move for the longest couple of seconds as his eyes traced up on the wall in front of him. He didn’t dare to look back but his eyes did move on the dozen frames patching up the wall retracting professional pictures of wrestling matches. Only the best of her work was exposed like in a gallery. Will had more than one spot on her wall. Now she was starting to understand why she liked to portray him so much.
“Don’t ignore me.”
He hissed, clearly bothered by her voice. “I am not.”
“So?”
“I dunno. Doesn’t matter what I think, does it?”
“It does if I am asking.”
He huffed and then hid behind his beer, taking two good gulps of it before just shaking his head. “Sure. You look very nice. But you know that. So, why bother asking me?”
“How would you know? You haven’t even looked at me once.”
Will tutted and let his head fall back, releasing some of his frustration in a huff. He was still not facing her. “I am not playing your game, Erika.”
“Look at me, Will.” She ordered, summoning all her strength not to let any of her desperation show. She wanted to sound authoritative and not like a little scared girl who just wanted to be held. Somehow it made sense in her mind that that could be her best plan.
It seemed like he was willing to fight her. For a split second, he held his position, without daring to move. He was holding his breath. But then, something gave in and he did turn. Not completely, as if he was still trying not to expose himself to her. But he did. And when he did, his eyes sliced through her like daggers, severe and detached. She didn’t recognise the cold in his gaze and kept stumbling in the fear that she was continuing to make mistakes.
That moment was the first that Erika realised it wasn’t only about the sex anymore. She wasn’t only looking at a man that couldn’t recognise being the same who held her so tenderly. But she also couldn’t recognise the Will she had liked and respected for so long from before. Before everything, they had been friends for a long time. Years. They shared trips, work, holidays, accommodations, and moments of their lives that will always connect them. And yet, she was now cut out of it.
She was hurting so bad.
But, for the life of her, Erika didn’t dare to show an inch of it. He didn’t deserve it.
If that’s how it had to be, then she was determined to make him regret his choices.
Will shrugged. “So? What am I supposed to look at?” She was the one who was hit. But Will wasn’t done. “Let’s do this like civil adults, shall we? I am here for Kyle and Mark, let’s get through this. In a couple of days, I’ll be on the road again in Japan.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Knowing he was going to be gone fairly soon disheartened her. It didn’t seem like she was going to prove any point, let alone win at anything. And he was going away soon, maybe that was it, that was her answer. Let it go, for everyone’s sake.
“You know what I mean.”
“No.” Erika crossed her arms, willing to appear as defensive as possible, “I do not know what you mean, William.”
The smile he whipped out was pure scorn. He took her words like a cheap shot, shaking his head. “My, my, you must be very upset. I rattle you pretty bad, don’t I? Don’t worry. You stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours and everyone lives happily ever after.”
“You are such a cunt.” Erika scoffed, raising her chin high, “I wish I never met you.”
“Oh, don’t you worry darling, the wish is mutual.”
He went right to the jugular. His words slipped her throat. She felt something severing inside of her. Her chest was empty and squeezed, she was unable to breathe.
She closed herself in her bedroom, leaving Will alone.
What was she supposed to do now?
That was an answer enough. Will gave her exactly what she thought she wanted, and in the meanest way, he could think to clear any doubt she may have had. Only, it was nothing like what she had hoped for.
She wanted a drink so bad. Somehow, she thought alcohol could fuzz her rational thoughts and soothe her. The only problem was that Will stood between her and her booze and she had no intention to look at him ever again.
Damn it. Damn him.
Erika cried in silence, on the floor like a desperate little girl who couldn’t even take a rejection on the chin like a champ.
She had ignored hearing Will moving around her apartment, turning on the TV and even talking loudly on the phone. It didn’t matter what he was talking about, to her it mattered the way he laughed and chattered like nothing bothered him. Then, when the catering showed up, she still ignored him when he tried to ask for directions – again acting like nothing happened between them. He even knocked on her door a couple of times, and she still didn’t respond.
By that point, Erika's only concern was to pick herself back up, fix what Will had just broken and keep pretending. For Mark. For Kyle. For herself.
By the time she had fixed her makeup for the nth time that evening, the first guests had started to arrive and that was her queue to waltz out of the bedroom and be the perfect, prettiest host. She could only hope Kyle and her brother would arrive soon.
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majesticwren · 2 months
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due to high demand - me. I'm high demand. this entire project is being written entirely for my pleasure, be warned I'm being extremely self-indulgent - I've decided to write a little prequel to the events that take place here. this is set in 2018 and is the beginning of Fletch x OFC. billy will have his own little prequel at some point. enjoy.
Trigger Warning/s: OFC is her own trigger warning she is damaged goods and slightly toxic and emotionally unavailable, mention of addiction, mention of heroin abuse, mention of sex, mention of trauma, angst, mainly friends to lovers/impossible relationship dynamics.
nuclear season: part I -> | part II -> | part III -> prequel: <- part I | <- part II | part IV -> Masterlist
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Beginning of April 2018
Erika sat on the porch swing, comfortably curled on herself. She was slowly rocking herself, naked foot pressed on the wooden patio floor, as she enjoyed the sundown of that exceptionally hot evening. She sipped on the cup of homemade peach iced tea she was so proud she made, deciding to accept that as something small to be grateful for today.
She was melancholically watching some of the neighbour’s kids playing on their familiar street. Their excited little voices, breaking through the evening, mixed with the noises of the place she called home. It was music for her soul. Something that resonated through her, always reminding her where she came from. She didn’t need to like Brisbane, to always have her inside compass pointing to it.
Her gaze cruised over the street cutting across the residential uptown area she grew up in. She could see herself, as clear as day, wearing her new pink helmet, on her birthday, learning to go on her little pink bike as Mark taught her how to ride all afternoon. And then again, when she was just a little over twelve, he did the same teaching her some skating tricks. She remembered how they used to walk over that road together every morning and every evening, as he was used to getting her to and from the bus stop to go to school or practice. Later, years later, she could still see them two sitting side by side just outside their garden, on the pavement. Erika had touched her first rock bottom and had asked him for help.
“You look so sad, honey,”
Erika huffed softly, moving her attention to her mother, who looked over her from the other side of the porch. She was still wearing her straw hat and was holding an old empty flower pot, in her cute gardening outfit.
“I am ok,” Erika tried to reassure her, offering a small smile, stretching on the swing. “I promise.”
The woman softly chuckled, putting the vase down and removing her gloves, walking to her, “What mother would I be if I believed you when you have a broken heart?”
Erika simply smiled, making space for the woman as she sat next to her.
For years, Erika had convinced herself to resent her mother for the flat life she thought the woman had. The life many would consider a good life. Housewife, happily married to a good man, carrying a family, caring for the house and herself. And Erika, especially in her teenage years, hated her for it. Considered her stupid and much worse things.
She was a sweet woman. A good woman. A good mother. And Erika still had to find the courage to apologise for how difficult she had been and how rocky she made their relationship. Not that her mother ever expected her to. That woman still loved her, Erika was her child and she never missed an opportunity to remind her. Though it was stronger than her, Erika felt more awkward than anything else around her.
It was shame. It was inadequacy. It was everything she regretted, knowing her mother was one of the many victims she had taken down in her path of destruction over the years.
“Mum,” Erika sighed, looking away. “Please, I am fine.”
“Mh,” Erika felt the woman looking at her with the wisdom of someone who just knew better, “Mark called. Again.”
Erika flinched.
Her chest was still broken. It was undeniable. Her heart was in a thousand pieces. Thinking about her brother hurt her too much. It was still such a sore, open wound. The longer she spent apart, the more it felt as if she was missing part of her.
After what happened, Erika left. She left the job at RevPro and she left England for good, not saying a word. Not leaving a message. She changed her phone, her number, everything and tried to continue with her life.
The only thing she dared to do, breaking her own rule to become a ghost, was to steal one of Kyle's t-shirts. Just because she wanted to have something that smelled like him. It didn’t carry his scent anymore, now, but she still kept it safe under her pillow and slept hugging it or wearing it.
When she disappeared without leaving a trace, she knew Mark lost his mind about it. Especially in the first forty-eight hours she spent flying over to Australia. But she wasn’t interested in his concern. When she landed and surprised her parents, she didn't care whether or not they had let Mark know. It wasn’t her responsibility to make him feel better.
She hadn’t talked to him in a couple of weeks. And she had no intention of doing so. Not yet. She wasn’t ready.
There was so much she needed to fix before she even decided to consider forgiveness. But, like it or not, he was always there with her. She’d see him around the house and in all the familiar places they grew up together. And he’d still be her voice of reason, even despite the terrible things he had said the last time they spoke.
Her anger had calmed by now, leaving behind only pain. Pain, she had to learn to deal with. It wasn’t something she had done before. Before, she would have tried to do anything to numb it, cancel it, erasing herself in the process. Even this time, as soon as she landed back home, she went close to embarking on yet another self-destructive trip. She was there. She almost went to see her old friend who’d always have a fresh fix for her. But this time, differently from ever before, Erika understood consequences and she just knew she would have seen the end of it either in a hospital or six feet under.
So, she was learning to deal with her emotions being clean. She was learning to become her own person, doing a lot of healing and mending in the process. And it was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. However, there was no other way forward. She needed to fix herself to fix it all.
She was still mad at Mark, and she would have been mad for a long time. But he wasn’t the only one she was upset at. She was angry at herself for proving him right. For doubting her own choices and abilities. And for having caused pain to the only person she was supposed to love. And she had no intention to let self-doubt ever bring her that close to ruin her life again.
“I don’t care,” she finally replied, shaking her head. “I don’t want to know.”
“He is so worried for you, honey. You-”
“Mum,” Erika snapped in a gentle warning, looking over to the woman by her side, “Please, leave it alone. Please. You don’t know what happened and you can’t understand it. I am not ready.”
“Then tell me what happened, sweetheart. Help me understand,”
Erika's chuckle was dry, maybe even cruel, even though she didn’t mean it to be. “You can’t understand,” she simply said, shrugging. “Ask your son to tell you what he did.”
“I did.”
“And?”
“He cut me off.”
“See?” Erika chuckled, shaking her head. “Leave it alone, mum. It’s ugly and it’s between us.”
“I can’t stand having my two children not talking. You were so close. It was my only joy,”
Erika had to bite her tongue and think twice before abruptly replying. “No,” she gently placed a hand on her mother’s. “Mum, it’s not that I don’t want to tell you for kicks. I won’t tell you what happened because I can’t have the responsibility to put you in a position to reconsider your son’s worth or choose sides or whatever.”
“After everything you have done, I still consider you so highly, my child, do you think what he did is worse than that?”
Erika took no offence to her mother’s honesty. She wasn’t wrong, after all. “To me it is,” she simply replied, “It is a matter between me and Mark, and we are both adults, we’ll figure it out, one day. He’s still my brother.”
Her mother cupped her face in one hand, making her look at her. The two looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment, as the older woman smiled softly at her. “I am proud of the woman you are becoming. I am sorry it is all so painful to you.”
“I’ll be fine, mum. Thank you,” Erika squeezed her hand.
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End of April 2018.
“Mum?” Erika called as she entered her childhood home. “Can I have a hand?” She wondered, balancing herself as she carried as many bags of groceries under her arms as she possibly could. “The car is packed full. I’ll help you put it all away, I promise,” she still chirped moving through the still big house, receiving only silence in response.
As Erika moved to the kitchen, she finally began to hear two low voices chatting from the back porch. One was her mother, who now was chuckling the other Erika couldn’t recognise. In the background, she heard the noise of the lawn mower too, but it was far enough she wasn’t sure if it came from her garden or the neighbours’.
She left the grocery bags on the counter and popped her head out the door, looking for the two women with a certain urgency and curiosity. They were both comfortably sitting on the two garden chairs on the deck. Both wore sundresses, facing the pretty garden her mum was so proud of, sipping on fresh lemonade. They both watched closely the young-looking gardener working at the end of their lawn, cutting the grass.
“Hey,” Erika began, quickly losing interest in the view the other two seemed to be so lost in. She didn’t even want to think about it too much. “Was looking for you,” she hinted to her mum, “been talking to myself a while.”
“Hello honey,” her mother chuckled, “I’m sorry, couldn’t hear you from out here.”
“Is this her?” The other woman wondered, looking at her mother first and then back at her. She studied Erika with such interest she felt the need to shy away.
“Yes,” her mother too looked up at her with certain pride in her eyes. “She is so pretty, isn’t she?”
The second woman smiled, nodding silently. “Pardon me, sweety, you are probably wondering what kind of rude manners I must have, I am Pamela, and I live a few doors down, pleased to meet you,”
It was beyond Erika. The way the woman spoke, sitting in her lovely yellow dress, with her legs elegantly crossed and her glass of lemonade at hand made her think about a sophisticated housewife from the sixties. She still smiled politely, trying to mirror the approach that the woman was showing her. “Nice to meet you too, I am Erika, but you must know that already. You must be a friend of my mum’s?”
“Yes!” The woman and her mother exchanged a little look, giggling to themselves. “We met at Pilates only last year!”
“Can you believe women our age are still making friends like teenagers?” Her mother giggled, sipping on her lemonade, all pleased with herself.
“As soon as you two don’t go create a Burn Book for the neighbourhood, I think we are safe,” Erika chuckled with them, doing her best to indulge her mother and her small joys.
“She is a beautiful young woman and a funny one too? Jackpot.” Pamela giggled, clinking her glass with her mothers in a silent cheer.
“I told you. My daughter is a catch,”
“Must have boys coming for her left and right.”
“Oh,” her mother chuckled again, “You don’t know the beginning of it.”
For a moment Erika felt like they forgot she was standing there, even though both women still studied her like a prized pony or something.
Pamela giggled, nodding. “It doesn’t surprise me,” she then turned over to Erika, rosy cheeks and the largest smile she had ever seen before, “you know? I have a son.” The woman hinted to the boy in the garden with pride, “He’s really nice. Kind, handsome and very smart.”
As any son is to any mother. Erika thought it but didn’t dare to say it. She now understood so many things and started to suspect the two women’s words in an entirely different light. Instead of saying what she truly wanted to say, which was that she didn’t need her mother to fix her up, she smiled politely, gently shaking her head. “I am sure he is, ma’am, don’t doubt it for one second.”
“Ah,” Pamela's smile only grew as she and her mother exchanged a complicit look Erika didn’t like. “You’d like him. Your mum tells me you are single. See, my son is single too. We thought that it would have been nice to introduce the two of you.”
Erika had to bite her tongue hard. Their idea of introductions was to have said boy on parade, cutting the grass shirtless, of course. “How thoughtful of you,” this time Erika only pretended to be polite but wasn’t doing much to hide her slight irritation. “But I am not looking for-”
“Oh, God, honey, of course not! Who do you think we are?” Her mother jumped over her words, gasping, as if Erika was the one who misunderstood the situation. “I only thought you just moved back and don’t have many friends. Then I met Pamela, and one thing led to another, we thought maybe you two could hang out like kids do?”
Erika may not like her mother’s behaviour sometimes, but she still pulled out an amused smile, looking at her trying to find a way to justify herself and digging herself a deeper grave. It was somewhat funny though.
“Yes!” Pamela innocently agreed, “Who knows where things lead, I say.”
She cleared her voice, trying to ignore their silly behaviour, justifying it as the ways mums went about their kids sometimes. “Anyways. Sorry to interrupt, ladies, but mum, if you could give me a hand with the groceries that would be lovely.”
“Oh! Trevor can help you with that,” her mother chirped.
Pamela immediately followed, nodding eagerly. “Yes! What a nice idea,” she was up in a second and, even before Erika had the time to catch a breath and ask questions, she already hopped in the garden, waving at the guy handling the lawn mower.
“Mum?” Erika wondered suspiciously, “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why do I feel like this is going to be a set-up?”
“Don’t be silly, dear,” her mum giggled some more. Erika started suspecting the lemonade could have some gin in it. “This is just one of those friendly neighbours’ moments. Pamela’s son so kindly offered to help out with the lawn since your father is always busy with work and,”
“And I am getting introduced,”
“Well, yes, we thought you needed a friend.”
Erika rolled her eyes, still smiling. “Who’s conveniently a shirtless guy cutting your grass, mum?”
“Well, it is about thirty degrees out there. God knows how hot the poor thing is under the sun.”
Before she could reply anything, Pamela was back and her son trailed her. He too, looked somewhat feeling as awkward as she did. At least they could both agree their mothers were being embarrassing.
“So,” Pamela began, pushing her son forward, “This is Trevor.”
He was still catching his breath, as he offered Erika a smile. “Hi, how do you do?” He threw her a hand that she felt obliged to accept.
He was her age, maybe just a little older. He was attractive, that was undeniable. Quite tall and fit too. But Erika looked at him with the same interest she’d have for a lamp post. It wasn’t because she was rude. It was simply because it did nothing to catch her interest.
“Hi, I’m Erika. But I am sure my mother already said that, didn’t she?”
“She did,” he nodded, “they are terrible sometimes, aren’t they?” He wondered, catching the first opportunity possible to give her a complicit look.
This time it was their turn to talk about their mothers like they weren’t standing there.
Erika smiled. Only for that, she was warming up to him. “Yes. Did they convince you to do this?”
“Well, I was allured in with the request of cutting some grass and the promise of some lemonade,”
“Ah,” Erika shook her head, chuckling, “I think your payment is a hot date.”
He hissed, only pretending to be annoyed. “That won’t do. I rather the lemonade.”
They both turned to their mothers, finding both women looking at them with the utmost pride as if they had just won a prize or something. Erika felt like they didn’t catch on to their humour.
Pamela leaned into her mother with a proud smile. “See? What did I tell you?”
Erika huffed and then decided to do the only sensible thing and turned to Trevor, “So, are you helping me with the grocery? It won’t put itself away and I’ve got places to be after.”
“Sure thing,” he chirped willingly, “anything to get away from my mother trying to find me a girlfriend.” The look he sent his mum was pure banter.
Erika wondered if he truly was unaware, or if he was simply trying to charm her into a plan, he was well aware of. Either way, she didn’t care too much.
They unloaded the car as quickly as possible. Erika had no time to lose. Especially if it was to linger and mingle with a shirtless, sweaty, guy placed in her house only for her to look at him.
She grabbed the last two bags and, before she could instruct Trevor to just shut the door, he already leaned in to grab the heavy bag containing all her camera equipment. It’s been left in the car since she came back to Australia. It was the only thing she hadn’t unpacked yet. And she pretended, lying to herself, that it was simply too heavy to carry upstairs.
“No. That, leave it there, please.”
“What is it?”
“None of your business,” she snapped before she could even realise how uncalled it was. Erika immediately regretted it and rolled her eyes, looking back at Trevor. “I am sorry. That wasn’t nice to say. It’s my camera, I am a photographer.”
“You are?”
“Yes. Good at it too. But I haven’t worked in a while now,” she cleared her voice, shaking her head “It’s complicated to explain but I just don’t want to have it in the house.”
“You kidding?”
“No.”
Trevor looked down at the black back he carried, “It might get ruined left in the car under the sun all day, you know?”
“Yes. I am aware,” she huffed, feeling cornered. “Fine. Bring it into the house. Leave it by the stairs, please.”
“Yes ma’am,” he chirped and followed her without saying a word as they returned to the house. “So, how is it you haven’t worked in a while?”
“My field of expertise is very specific,” Erika explained, knowing how lame that excuse was. She could have done anything. The problem was she hadn’t picked her camera up in weeks. Not once.
“And what’s that? Wildlife?”
“No,” she chuckled, “I wish. It’s actually pro wrestling.”
“You shit me!?”
“No.” Erika frowned. “I moved to England some time ago to follow my brother and worked for one of the biggest companies in the UK.”
“Your brother is a wrestler?”
“See?” Erika chuckled, “My mother thought to introduce me and left out all the juicy details. He is,” she then explained, a smile crossing her lips, “he loves it. Always loved it. So, now, that’s what he does.”
“Who’s he? Is it possible I’ve heard of him?”
“It’s possible you know him since he lived around here up to a few months ago. Mark Davis?” She dropped, not hiding the pride she felt for her brother even despite everything.
“Fuck me, Davis!? You are Erika Davis?”
“In the flesh,” Erika smiled, nodding, “guess the neighbourhood is a big place after all.”
“Nah, yeah, it is. I went to school with your brother. Not the same year. He was a senior when I started. Didn’t know Mark or anything but he was known in school.”
“Yep,” Erika sighed, shaking her head, “and no one ever let me forget that.”
“So, he’s a wrestler now, uh? That’s crazy. Is he making a name for himself or something?”
“He is trying, yes. He’s working with the UK's biggest pro wrestling company and doing some indie stuff on the side. He’s in a tag team called Aussie Open with another Australian wrestler.” She didn’t say his name on purpose. Her tongue was tied.
“Wow! I still can’t believe that.”
“I know. So, are you a wrestling fan?”
“Well, not so much, no. I grew up watching it like everyone else through the Attitude Era but then I grew out of it.”
“Oh,” she shrugged, “shame, I find wrestling extremely underrated.”
“Yeah,” he paused, looking at her closely, “so, you said you are a photographer for this stuff?”
“Yes. I get booked to events and my job is capturing every second of the show, making the boys look as good as possible as they do their thing. It is mostly for advertisement.”
“What’s the schedule of a job like that?”
“Busy. I used to work almost every day in different venues every time so it’s a lot of travelling and living in hotels. Usually, I’d follow Mark and get booked to his same shows.”
“Sounds hard.”
“Yeah. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I liked it. It’s part of the business. You travel around and after a while, it becomes the same people and the same places you see so you get used to it.”
“How the hell did you end up back here?”
“Well,” Erika busied herself putting away some stuff in the cupboards. “That’s a long story for another time, perhaps.”
“A’right,” Trevor hung by the kitchen counter, passing her stuff, “consider me curious, though.”
“The short version is that I fucked my brother’s best friend. It ended up badly.” Erika didn’t even look behind her back to see Trevor’s reaction. She didn’t care. And things didn’t exactly go that way. But there was part of her that wanted to clarify the fact that she may look like a good girl and her mother may have presented her as a good girl, but she was far from it.
“Ok? That doesn’t necessarily justify leaving a career behind, does it?”
Erika rolled her eyes and turned to face him, shameless. “It does when said boy I fucked was my roommate and coworker. He’s the other half of Aussie Open. So, I had to take myself out of the equation.”
“Right,” Trevor was avoiding eye contact, slightly intimidated by her honesty. “There’s wrestling in Australia though, right?”
“Yes. But doing weddings and whatnot is a much easier gig to get back into.” Which was a fat lie. She had good expertise and the references to back her up, if she needed, to land a job in any of the Australian companies. But she didn’t want to. She needed to stay away from wrestling.
“Is that what you want to do?”
Erika just looked at him for a long moment, before taking a step back, deciding to rummage in another grocery bag and hide herself in the fridge as she put away some more stuff. “What is this? A job interview or something?”
“Sorry, no. I was just trying to know you better.”
“Well, I don’t want that,” she simply explained, shrugging. “Sorry, you look like you are a nice guy. You got the looks too and everything. But I am not looking to meet anyone.”
“Ah,” Trevor nodded wisely, “the best friend?”
Erika turned pale, glaring at him for the longest moment, unsure if she wanted to run, throw something at him or just disappear into the ground.
She opted for a grocery bag, digging in it like her life depended on it.
“Right,” Trevor continued. “Well, I am around, if you ever fancy hanging out.”
Erika had to give it to him, the guy had balls. But, at the same time, she was quite done with that conversation. Any of it. Anything that brought her even remotely close to thinking about Kyle was banished from her mind.
She wasn’t ready.
“Thank you,” Erika cleared her voice, this time, even if she felt awkward as hell, she looked straight at him. “I won’t take you up on that, you know it, right?”
“One can only hope,” Trevor offered her a small encouraging smile, nodding.
Erika shrugged it off, turning around to put away the last thing. “Don’t get your hopes up, mate,” she explained with a tired sigh. She was trying to be nice. She could have just told him to fuck off. That would have been much easier and much more directed to make that guy understand that despite whatever their mothers have said, she had other things to think about. And despite it all, she wasn’t being polite to him for his interests. She was doing it for her mother. She was happy with her new friend; Erika had no intention of causing them any problems because, yet again, she was gonna be selfish.
No. She was going to be a controlled, polite adult. That’s how she was supposed to behave, right?
“Maybe you should go finish cutting the grass for my mother now,” Erika suggested, dropping in a massive hint for him to catch. She was done chitchatting.
Trevor pulled out a massive smile. His dark eyes glimmered with amusement as he looked her up and down. “Wow, I never thought being treated like a little errand boy could be fun.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. But you know what I meant, don’t you?”
“Sure,” he nodded, still smiling. “Absolutely no offence taken, by the way.”
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May 2018
“It’s on!” Her father’s voice called from the living room as everyone in the family buzzed through the house, responding to his call and running to gather in front of the TV.
Erika took it easy. She casually held back in the kitchen, pretending to make herself a fresh cup of coffee, just so she had an excuse to delay her attendance as much as possible.
“Erika! Quick, you are going to miss it.”
“What a shame,” she whispered to herself, deciding not to reply directly to her mum’s bubbly excitement.
It was not even six in the morning in Brisbane. In London, it was almost eight in the evening the day before. Their entire family, including unrelated so-called uncles who were only good family friends, were gathered around to watch a live episode of Ring Of Honor featuring Aussie Open. Everyone was there to see Mark on the screen, doing the thing he had left the country months ago to go and do.
Even Trevor was there. Not by her invitation. Her mother had taken a liking to seeing them hanging out and, despite her attempts to get her to stop, she kept inviting him around.
Erika was trying not to think about it and did everything in her power not to pay attention to him, even though he kept coming onto her.
“You're not interested in seeing your brother on TV?” He wondered leaning against the door frame, looking into the kitchen.
Erika hid behind her cup of coffee, trying her best not to roll her eyes. “Coffee,” she simply explained, hoping that would be enough.
“Oh, fair enough,”
“You can go watch it though. My mother invited you over for that reason,” she didn't want to sound rude but it was too early in the morning for her to deal with unrequited interest. Especially when she never led him on.
Yes, both their mothers had tried to find every excuse to have them hanging out, but Erika had never stopped reminding him how not interested she was. Although, politeness and awkwardness aside, she started suspecting he was taking it like a challenge. Which she was more than happy to let him do. She was the one who would have won in the end, anyway.
Erika approached him, hinting to move to the living room, encouraging him with a little look only pretending she would have followed him. Instead, she kept herself in the back. By that point, as soon as Trevor took a seat in one of the chairs placed around the room, expecting her to sit by his side, it was too late for him to realise she didn’t follow him.
Erika’s lips bent in a small grin that she hid behind her cup of coffee.
Her attention then distractedly moved to the TV screen. She was only pretending she didn’t care. She knew how big of a deal a match in Ring of Honor could be and she wished she could be there with them.
By now, everyone knew she wasn’t talking to Mark, so no one would have second-guessed her weird behaviour. She only needed to keep appearances up, like her biggest problem was Mark on the screen. It was more than convenient for her to stay behind everyone so that everyone’s eyes were pointed at the TV and no one would have noticed the way she pined over the tall Aussie boy playing pretend fighting by her brother's side.
She was working so hard to become someone she could be proud of. Someone she would think worthy. Someone who could consider apologising. But she felt like her way was still long. And she wasn’t ready to see Kyle, yet.
She barely allowed herself to think about him. Because only the thought of him was enough to destabilise her. She missed him so much it was unbearable. And thinking about how things went was a wave of regrets that rolled from the inside of her, ripping her chest open.
At night it was worse. When she was alone, trying to sleep, the thought of him crept into her mind, leaving her breathless, and Erika would find herself grasping on that lousy piece of clothing she stole as if it could ever replace the real thing. Often, she’d cry herself to sleep, suffocating her pain into the pillow.
Her entire body ached anytime she thought about what she had ruined and how there was a chance she’d never get it back.
She wasn’t ready to see him now, doing his thing, working on his dream. It was too easy to take the image on a TV and filter it off the truth, convincing herself that he was happy with his life as it was and she’d only ruin it even more if she ever dared to get closer to him again. Even just looking into a TV screen made it so easy to convince herself it would have hurt him, somehow. It would have surely ripped her apart. And she couldn’t afford to have a breakdown in front of her entire family.
Erika held her breath as she focused on the screen, definitively losing the battle with herself. She watched the boys circling the ring. They had just been announced. Both walked with their typical cocky stride, filling up the space.
Mark looked imposing and casual as usual, confident smirk printed on his lips, in line with his character who wasn’t afraid of anything only because he just knew he was stronger and bigger than most. Erika’s heart still trembled looking at him and a small, sad smile popped on her lips. She hated to think about it. He didn’t deserve it. But she missed him.
Then, her attention shifted to Kyle. He was just as pretty as she remembered. Maybe even more. He had a black strip around his bicep, making his arm muscles pop. That was new. And it made her heart stop. The way just looking at him walking around, all serious, trying to be imposing, as Aussie Open were generally heels, made her feel inside was impossible to describe. Her heart leapt out of her and through halfway across the world, reaching for him. God, how much she wished to be by his side. A shiver crossed her as the memory of knowing exactly how his lips felt on her skin haunted her.
If only her problem was simply longing for him. The worst part was knowing how she had him in her arms, to keep safe, to respect and love. And she just broke his heart out of stupidity.
As usual, he wore his hood up, only so he could cock his head back and kick it off himself on the top buckle, presenting himself to the crowd in his archer pose.
“Why does he do that?” One of the older cousins asked distractedly as everyone looked at the boys and commented on their entrance.
“He’s known as the Aussie Arrow,” Erika explained, keeping her arms crossed to her chest, ignoring the few that turned to look at her. Trevor was studying her particularly closely. She had to try everything in her power to remain as stoic and detached as possible. “Fast, lean and sharp, get it?”
“Oh!” He wasn’t the only one replying with that, putting Erika’s words together.
She had witnessed maybe thirty seconds, top. And she already couldn’t handle it anymore. Kyle and Mark crossed in the ring and exchanged an affectionate fist bump. That too, made her chest ache.
“Such a sweet boy he is,” her mother started, “spoke to him on the phone just the other day,”
“Don’t say that, auntie!” The younger of all cousins, only eight, complained, warning her, “We need to believe he’s evil!”
“Oh, sorry!”
“He’s so cute though,” her cousin giggled, hugging her pillow. Them two were the only girls spawned in between all the family kids. She wasn’t much younger than Erika and yet she felt like there was an abyss in between them.
“Yes,” her mother agreed, “very pretty young boy.”
“What do you mean you spoke to him?” Erika intervened between their chattering, letting her question roll out of her chest before she could even think about it.
Her mum popped her head up, looking at her from over the sofa. “Sorry, darling? What’s that?”
“What does it mean you spoke to Fletch?”
“Hey,” one of the uncles cut through, “we are trying to watch Mark here, take your gossiping somewhere else,”
Erika ignored him, pressing on. “Mum?”
“Why do you care, honey?” The woman looked at her for a long moment, “We had some light conversation as Mark couldn’t come to the phone, so he was kind enough to entertain me in the meantime.”
Erika’s chest ached.
Of course, he was. He was a delight.
She wished so badly to hear his voice. She wanted him to talk to her. To whisper sweet things into her ear just like he did that night, as they giggled in between the sheets.
Her mother was still looking at her, waiting for an answer that didn’t come. Not with words. Erika bit her nails nervously, looking away. And then something seemed to strike the woman as recognition sparked through her eyes. “Darling? Do you have anything to do with the boy?”
“No,” Erika lied badly. “I mean, yes, of course, he is my friend,” she tried to correct herself, not helping her case at all.
As more and more people’s attention moved on her, Erika tried to hide only for her mother to gasp softly. “But you aren’t talking to him, I take it.”
Erika grumbled, rolling her eyes. “Can we just go back to watching?” Erika pointed at the TV. “Look, you are missing it.”
“Now I understand why he asked about you.” Her mother smiled, “I thought it was for Mark at first, but it wasn’t, was it?”
Erika was hit so deeply that she didn’t even realise how evident her reaction to her mum’s words was. “Did he?” She gasped, breathless, even before she could bite her tongue and force herself to shut up.
The entire family was watching. Everyone now knew or suspected there could be some drama. And their attention only grew, like bees on honey.
“You know what? It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. And I don’t care about that stuff either,” she dismissed them all and, with her coffee mug, proceeded to leave and exit from the backdoor, finding some peace on the patio.
Erika dug her hand into her cardigan pocket and picked up the cigarettes, feeling the need to calm her nerves.
She sat down on the steps of the back porch, leaving her cup of coffee by her side and lighting herself a cigarette. The moment she inhaled the hot smoke into her lungs, was the second she found herself able to breathe again.
Her eyes were stinging because of the tears she was desperately trying to keep back. She squeezed herself into the light cardigan she was wearing, curling up on herself. Everyone was going on with their lives. Everyone was still existing. When she felt like she was stuck to a single moment from two months ago and had no guarantee she’d ever made it out.
What if Kyle had moved on? But then why would he ask about her?
What if she was only fooling herself and would have never changed? Never enough to be good for him, anyway.
The back door opened and closed as the wood of the patio creaked under someone’s weight.
“Go away, mum,” Erika warned, looking straight in front of her, not in the mood to have a conversation. “I don’t want to talk.”
“Good thing I am not your mother, sweetheart,” Her dad's soft chuckle slipped right through her. He sat by her side on the steps and gathered his hands on his knees, not saying a word more. He just sat there, with her, looking into the garden.
He was a sweet man. Maybe oblivious sometimes. A perfect match to her mum. He wasn’t too good with small talk, but he was there and that was what counted, even when Erika didn’t ask for it or want it. That’s where Mark learned to be so caring, most of the time.
He wasn’t a bad father, but Erika did find herself to hate him in their youth since he was more at work than home. Now, she knew it never meant he didn’t love his children, but at the time, a lot of the bad stuff she was doing she did also to get his attention.
She pushed her cigarette packet over to him, offering a smoke that he accepted gladly. “Your mother can be intense sometimes, I know. She doesn’t do it intentionally.”
“I know.”
“And sometimes she doesn’t read the room either,”
Erika still found the strength to chuckle, nodding. “No. She doesn’t, does she?”
Her dad leaned against her, giving her a small bump shoulder to shoulder. “She only means well. She wants to make sure you are ok.”
“But I am ok! I’ve been saying it every day,”
“Yeah?” Her dad looked right at her. Both she and Mark were a spitting image of the man. “I don’t want to overstep, but it looks to me like you are always so sad.”
“But I am ok, dad,” Erika still pushed out a soft smile, looking at him. “I could be so much worse,” she didn’t need to explain, “instead I am here, sober and doing my thing. I am ok.”
“And I am proud of what you are doing. I have to admit when you came back so abruptly, I was scared you’d fall back into the old habits. But you can’t just take care of your responsibilities.”
“What am I supposed to take care of?”
“This,” he tapped his chest, sending her a meaningful look. “You do not have to talk about it with me. But find someone to talk about it, because what you are carrying will eat you up, one day.”
Erika thought her dad’s words would have hurt her. She was ready to react her usual way, closing up. Instead, she took a deep breath, feeling some sort of release abandoning her chest. “I don’t have friends here. Mum only keeps trying to fix me up with Trevor who’s now convinced he has a chance.” She chuckled, but it wasn’t funny, “I used to talk about this stuff with Mark.”
“I know, sweetheart,”
“But then I fell for Kyle and,”
“That Aussie Arrow boy?”
“Yes.” Erika felt the boulder pressing on her rolling off her chest. It was the first time she admitted to someone else what she felt for Kyle. For the first time in months, she felt empty and free. It wasn’t relieving enough to push her pain off, but it made it so she could breathe easier. “I didn’t tell Mark. I kept it a secret for maybe too long. In the beginning, I thought I could pretend it wasn’t happening. I knew I wasn’t right for Kyle. But it got progressively worse and I just couldn’t stay away. To the point, Mark became suspicious first and protective after. Kyle is like a younger brother to him. He wants to protect him from harm, I know that. I respect that. Only he thought I was going to be harmful.”
“Is that why you don’t talk anymore?”
“He said some pretty bad things to me about my past. Made me think I wasn’t good enough. So, I bolted. Breaking Kyle’s heart in the process. And now, here I am, trying to keep it together. So, I am fine, dad.” She tried her best to smile, even though her chin was shaking and her eyes were glossed by the tears she couldn’t keep back anymore. “I fucked up. I had something good going on and I ruined it.”
Her dad left her the space to cry, rolling an arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his side, cradling her softly. “I am sorry, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead once she calmed down, trying to lift the mood slightly. “And what did Kyle think about you not being good enough?”
“He would have skipped backwards for me.” She smiled distractedly.
“I like this boy,” her dad smiled proudly.
“He doesn’t know what I did though. He doesn’t know who I was I couldn’t tell him.”
“But he didn’t meet the girl you were. He met you for you.”
“But I am still so ashamed. My past doesn’t stop existing just because I decide to change.”
“But look where you are now and all the things you accomplished, honey.”
“And look all the bad I did, too. Mark wasn’t wrong, doubting me-”
“Don’t justify Mark.” Her father simply and calmly huffed, as if he was settling a quarrel between two kids over a toy, “Your brother should have known better. He should have expressed his fears differently trying to be more understanding, not making it so to scare you off and making you burn bridges.”
“Maybe. But what if he’d end up being right? What if I don’t deserve that kind of happiness? What if I keep fucking up?”
“But what if you don’t?” Her father made her look at him, pulling out a sweet smile, “What if you are sober, keeping the pieces together and doing ok?”
“That’s so scary, dad.”
“I know, honey, I know.” He patted her on the shoulder then, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, passing it over to her. “Call your brother.”
Erika froze, looking down at the black screen of the phone he handed her. She held her breath, trying to find a way to put her thoughts in order and find some common sense. But she had none left. It was either keep running away and ignoring things or decide it was time to grow up and forgive.
“He’s having a match right now.” She hesitated, trying to find an excuse.
“We both know he’ll be done soon. If not already.” Her father released the soft sigh of someone wise enough to know better. “Call Mark, darling. It doesn’t need to be to reconcile. But you need to unload what you have inside. And that’s the only way.” He pushed the cigarette butt into a soil pot and then leaned in, kissing her temple, before standing up.
There was something unspoken going on with her parents. The less they reminded her of what she did in her past and the bad she caused, the easier it was for her to feel at ease enough to feel like she belonged with them. It wasn’t enough to let her forget and she still didn’t like the idea of living in Brisbane in the long term. But for now, she was already juggling too many plates, she didn’t have the time or focus to think about the future that way.
“I’ll be inside, making sure no one is disturbing you,” her dad continued, “Especially that Trevor guy.”
“Thank you, dad,” she didn’t necessarily refer only to that last part. She was truly grateful.
Her father replied with a simple yet meaningful nod before disappearing into the house, leaving her all the time and space she needed.
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majesticwren · 2 months
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due to high demand - me. I'm high demand. this entire project is being written entirely for my pleasure, be warned I'm being extremely self-indulgent - I've decided to write a little prequel to the events that take place here. this is set in 2018 and is the beginning of Fletch x OFC. billy will have his own little prequel at some point. enjoy. a/n: please don't come for me I am heavily lingering into the angst and the toxicity and the drama only for the pleasure of it and this is my testimony be warned because we'll dive head first in it folks.
Trigger Warning/s: OFC is her own trigger warning she is damaged goods and slightly toxic and emotionally unavailable, kyle is a little baby, mark is being overprotective and extremely toxic sorry not sorry, alcohol consumption, mention of addiction, mention of heroin abuse, mention of sex, mention of trauma, mention of intentional overdose, swearing, smut!, unprotected sex (this is a fic, don't do this at home kids, know your sexed!), loss of virginity (Kyle's a baby, as already said), OFC is slightly dom, angst, mainly friends to lovers/impossible relationship dynamics.
nuclear season: part I -> | part II -> | part III -> prequel: <- part I | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist
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“I tell you,” Kyle chuckled, “you should have been there. I fell off the stool from laughter. I have never seen anything like it before in my life,”
They laid close to each other in a nest of covers and pillows on her bed in her messy hotel room. Music played in the background. Erika looked at his features, getting inebriated by the naïve, sweet look he had on his pretty face. His blushed cheeks and the lack of focus he had due to being tipsy were getting her drunk more than the alcohol.
“Well, then,” Erika raised the half-full bottle of tequila in a cheer, “I suppose that requires a hooray!” giggling to herself, she let her head fall heavy on the nest of pillows. She wasn’t even sure what they were talking about anymore.
She had tried so hard to stay as far away from heavily drinking for so long, that she almost got back to being able to feel tipsy and enjoy it. She hadn’t been completely clean, but she hadn’t gotten drunk in months. Until tonight.
Sobriety would have meant for her to have a clearer mind to take sensed, thought-through decisions, considering a whole lot of consequences and people involved. But that also meant she was supposed to face her emotions, which Erika had no intention of doing. Not after she had to face Mark’s words.
If her brother didn’t believe in her, what chance did she have?
She tried to escape her past, but it was just as her brother had said. A tiger wouldn’t lose her strips. She would have never become anything better than who she was. Forever branded like the unreliable troublemaker unworthy of the benefit of the doubt or any hope.
She had been so stupid for believing anything could change. That she had a chance to become something better.
And then there was Kyle. She didn’t even want to think about how heartbroken she was. It hurt so much to want someone so desperately and knowing so well she’d never have him. It hurt too much for her to bear. If she had been given the chance to be someone different from her past, maybe she would have thought she could make it. Maybe she would treat him well, give him the affection he deserved and trust him to give her the respect she needed. But she wasn’t different. She was the same girl she left in Australia, only lived in the United Kingdom and pretended to be someone else for kicks.
And now, she just knew she was going to break Kyle’s heart. It was a conscious decision she had made.
Instead of considering her options, Erika decided to take the familiar route of drowning herself in a bottle of tequila and making bad decisions. It was easy enough to forget about her dreams and expectations. And the more she fell into her drunkenness mess of incoherent stormy emotions, the more she became erratic and unpredictable, spiralling into a dark void. She was stuck in an ouroboros where she became the thing she feared the most to escape it.
And now, she was ready to stand by the rubble of everything she was going to ruin.
Before Kyle could grab the bottle from her grasp, Erika retrieved it to her chest, sending him a teasing look, challenging him to come and get it as she drank more of the bitter liquor herself. She hid her grin behind the bottle, chugging down a big gulp. No salt. No lime. No shame.
The liquid felt hot as it slid down her throat and into her stomach. Its warmth spread quickly through her and into her mind, making it difficult to focus on much more but Kyle’s lips.
“You are so pretty,” she whispered, deciding to push herself to break the distance between them and tracing his jawline with her fingertips. “Beautiful, actually.”
Kyle’s face became red all over. “Not like you,” he dared and then stole the bottle off her grasp and hid his timidity behind it.
She felt every inch of her skin itch to be touched. The small distance dividing them was so painful to endure. She felt the need to feel him. To have him. Hanging between their words and in their crossed gazes there was everything she tried to deny herself from feeling and all the space he allowed her to have, respecting her wishes. The difference was she was done being mature. She had taken her decision. Trying and act like the bigger person, getting away from everything toxic in her behaviour, didn’t bring her anywhere. So why keep fighting?
That was her last chance to make a sensible decision before ruining everything.
Fuck Mark.
She thought impulsively, getting distracted from Kyle.
Fuck him and all his empty promises and his pretended love. He didn’t deserve her to try. He didn’t believe she could, anyway. So, he wasn’t going to have the best version of her. He ripped her hope away and threw her in the dark. So, she was going to hurt the only person he cared about. And she had every intention of liking it. Kyle would have been delicious; she just knew it.
“I am so glad you are here,” she didn’t need to lie about that. She was aware of what she was walking into and what she would have done. But she truly liked him.
This time, she traced her fingers to his chin, close to his lips.
Kyle popped a timid smile, as he looked at her face. Words didn’t come out of his mouth. He was fiddling with his hands. So nervous and pretty, made her smile widen. Delicious.
Erika was naturally prompted to move to him, placing a hand on his chest. “What is it, baby?” She wondered in a low purr, pushing herself closer to him. “You are so nervous.”
“I didn’t think you’d call; you know?”
“No?” Erika decided it was time to get rid of the bottle of tequila, which she leaned over to leave on the bedside cabinet, before quickly going back to snuggling by Kyle’s side. “You haven’t noticed how I look at you?”
“I have. I do. I hope that you’ll notice me all the time,” he admitted, “but you made it clear you need distance, and that’s what I gave you.”
“And I appreciate that,” Erika wasn’t lying. Nothing of what she felt for him was constructed. She was truly enjoying spending time with him and wanted so much more from him that it felt difficult to breathe; even though she did ask him to join her only because of her quarrel with Mark, to prove a point, and was determined to break both their hearts.
If she was supposed to end up suffering, she was gonna do it in the sweetest and most prohibited way possible.
“I don’t want to have distance anymore,” Erika suggested, her eyes crossed Kyle’s face, soaking up his sweetness. She decided to encourage him to follow her queue by grabbing his hand and gently guiding him to place it on her stomach. He watched her do it holding his breath in his chest.
His touch was extremely attentive. Kyle laid his large hand flat on her abdomen, not daring to move. His skinny fingers were spread across her, feeling the soft material of the extra-large t-shirt she was wearing above a simple pair of booty shorts. Then, his hand moved ever so slightly, feeling her body underneath his touch.
A shiver crossed her. They were barely touching and she was already on fire. A soft sigh left her as the pleasure of his touch, even just so small, was already enough to make her stretch under him. She desperately wanted him to touch her all over and to feel him everywhere. She was ready to beg and had to bite her tongue not to. Not yet. That simple caress wasn’t enough – not even remotely.
Erika kept her hand on his, pushing him down into her belly, making him feel her. She needed him to explore her. She wanted him to desire to feel her just as badly as she did. Her other hand was still on his face as she was carried away by his timid look as he followed everything she did. There was uncertainty behind his eyes, but it was the edge of expectations he hung on that attracted her the most.
“Tell me what you are thinking,” she pulled his chin, making him look back at her. “I need to know what’s going on behind those beautiful eyes.”
Kyle tried to hide behind a chuckle, but his blushed cheeks gave him away. “What do you think I am thinking?” He wondered, trying to outsmart her.
Except Erika wasn’t playing. “I hope you are wondering what I look like when I am naked.” She dared, not stopping at how he choked on his breath. “And I am hoping you are going to put those pretty hands and lips into use soon.”
“God, Erika,” he whispered, trying to escape her gaze.
He hissed when she didn’t let him get away. “Tell me. Please, baby, I need to know. I need you.”
The way he shivered made her body react. Warmth flooded right through her, charging up her nerves and making her belly ache and her abdomen feel heavy. God, nothing about her desire needed to be forced in any way, Erika truly liked him and had been wanting him for a long time now. Only she had stopped hiding it away. Now it was her time to be selfish.
“Me too,” he admitted, leaning closer to her, enough to press his forehead on hers. “I want you so bad it hurts.”
She smiled victoriously and decided she was done waiting around. She pushed herself closer to him, brushing her lips on his.
Kyle took another few moments to warm up. He was awkward and uncertain, but surely ready to follow her queues, because, as soon as he battled with his shyness, he dived into her lips, kissing her with a hunger and desperation Erika was more than ready to match.
It had been so long since they kissed and she had missed his lips ever since.
There was a force pulling her towards him. How did she believe it possible to fight against her deepest desires?
She was such a fool.
Erika’s hand cruised across his neck and around his shoulders, pulling him down on her. She avidly studied the slim edges of his body, admiring the feeling of every muscle and bone she found, desiring to feel more. She needed his naked skin. His warmth. His everything.
Kyle weighing on her as they made out was so sweet and ravaging. She was already pretty unhinged and self-destructive, but now, nothing was stopping her.
Erika bent her leg and slid it around his thin waist, branching around him like ivy. She then guided his hand from her belly to her thigh, needing to feel his fingers on her naked skin. This time, Kyle was more courageous and took the initiative, squeezing her soft flesh into his hold. The soft moan he released, pushing himself against her, further into her arms, sent her ballistic.
Erika pushed him down on the mattress and hopped over his hips, straddling him. This time, lowering herself back down, she pushed her face into the crook of his neck, avidly kissing his skin and adoring feeling him tensing up underneath her, his choked breath was music to her ears.
Kyle took a few long seconds before feeling confident enough to wrap his hands around her hips. But then, he rewarded her by letting his hands explore her body, feeling dauntless enough to cruise up her spine and down one leg.
Erika pulled herself up sitting back into his hips and enjoying every inch of his body she felt underneath her. He was aroused. She felt his trapped erection poke her through their clothes. And, God, that was enough to make her head spin. Not thinking too clearly, she pushed her hands in between them, reaching for his belt, feeling the need to touch him.
However, before she could even realise her desires, Kyle froze and was quick to stop her. His hold on her was gentle but firm as he grabbed her hands and pushed them off him.
Erika sat back up on him, frowning. “What is it, baby?”
“Nothing,” he huffed, avoiding eye contact, “I just- would like to take it easy, for a moment.”
Looking down at him, she suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable with the idea that he may have not wanted the same thing she did, despite his clear arousal and desire for her. Though there was something in him, in his quickened breath and pink cheeks, and in the way his eyes were drawn away from her, that intrigued her even more.
She slipped a hand of his grasp only to grab his chin and pull him to look at her. “What is it, Fletch?”
“Nothing-” he choked. His entire face was becoming red.
Erika leapt into his eyes. “No. That’s not nothing.” She leaned in, brushing her lips over his softly, “Tell me.”
Kyle hesitated, looking at her for a long moment and then, with a defeated sigh, he shook his head. “I think I need a minute before we start doing stuff.”
“Ok,” she nodded, understanding and encouraging, not forcing herself on him. “Why? Are you ok?”
“More than ok,” he nodded, “please, don’t think I don’t want this. You.” He released her hand only to place his around her hips, giving her an encouraging squeeze. “Because I do. More than the world.”
“Then what is it?” She wondered softly, kissing gently his forehead and then cheeks, loving the way he moulded into her like a cat bumping his little face into her.
“I-” he choked on a secret.
“You can tell me,” She encouraged him softly, sliding her hand across the back of his neck and up his shaved hair, gently cradling him. “You can tell me anything.”
“I may not have as much experience as you think I do,” he revealed speaking quickly.
“That’s ok,” Erika pulled a gentle smile, willing to make him feel at ease. She had suspected it by the way he was attentive and soft and, if anything, it only made her more feral.
Though Kyle still shook his head. “No, you don’t understand.” He took a deep breath like he was trying to gather all his courage. “I’ve never done this before.”
Erika was stricken.
She froze on the spot, looking down at him.
However, her shock was soon gone. She was quick to cup his face into her hands, holding him ever so gently. “Are you a virgin?”
Kyle quietly nodded, face still red all over and puppy eyes so sweet her heart couldn’t take it.
Her chest was quick to warm back up and fill with a feeling so strong it made it hard to breathe. It was respect. It was affection. It was straight-up devotion, the second she realised the meaning of his words. And then it ripped her apart, as she realised he wasn’t only a sweet-looking boy she fancied. He wasn’t only a prohibited fruit she wanted to defile to prove a point. He was so much more than that. He was everything she wanted. What she felt rolling out of her chest, made her have to bite her tongue not to tell him how deep she was falling for him.
She attentively caressed his cheeks.
That wasn’t going the way she had planned. She had planned to do what she was used to, which was charming a boy into bed with her and watching her world burn. But now all of that was gone in the back of her mind. Now there was only their moment.
“Would you give it to me?” She wondered pulling his chin up, brushing her lips against his.
Kyle nodded without a second of hesitation. “Yes. Yes, please. I have thought about this so much. I just need you to go slow on me.”
“Oh? You thought about this?” Kyle whined and nodded in her hold, only attracting her attention more. Erika kissed the sides of his mouth, “When?” she wondered in a whisper, “touching yourself?” He whimpered, and then nodded again, only prompting her to pull his chin softly. “Use your words, pretty boy.”
“Yes. I did.”
Erika rewarded him with a soft kiss. “Thinking about me?”
“Mh- yes, it’s always you.”
“Fuck, Kyle,” she hissed as a shiver crossed her back, making her skin ripple in goosebumps.
There, right at that moment, as they both stood over an edge there was no coming back, Erika decided there was no past or future. They were only a boy and a girl who liked each other. There were no consequences, no regrets. Only what they felt and what they wanted.
And she desperately wanted him to be hers. Only hers.
Erika pulled him up in a kiss, starting with her plan by taking his lips. He melted underneath her, now wrapping his arms fully around her, caging in a hug and holding onto her like she was a lifeline.
This time, he was the one taking the initiative. He traced her chin with his lips and down her neck, pushing her to bend in between his arms, assaulting one of her most sensitive spots, tasting her skin.
“Yes,” she cooed with a proud smile on her lips, enjoying feeling his mouth on her. “I like that. Keep going.”
Kyle followed her words gladly, taking a liking to nibble on the sensitive skin under her ear only to feel her shiver and sigh in his arms. She whimpered when his hot tongue passed over the spots his teeth marked.
“Did you ever have a girlfriend, before?” she wondered breathlessly, sliding a hand through the longer hair on top of his head, feeling the need to grab on something.
“I am not that naïve,” he pointed out, looking up at her with a small grin, “I did stuff before, only not everything.”
God, he was breathtaking with his puffed-up lips, blushed cheeks and glimmery eyes.
“Oh, yeah?” Erika brushed her lips on his forehead, “what stuff?” She found it so arousing for no reason in particular, if not that he just became a thousand times more delicious to her. She wanted to eat him up.
Kyle went red again. “Everything else but sex.”
“Everything?” She kept wondering, tracing circles with her fingers across the back of his neck. “Like what? You had a little girlie who showed you how she liked to be touched? Or more than one girl, maybe?”
“Are you taking the piss out of me?”
“No.” She simply said looking down at him. “It turns me on. Tell me, I want to know.”
“Just one girl,” he sighed, giving her exactly what she wanted, “We were high school sweethearts, we were together for a little over one year, though it didn’t work out as soon as I started travelling with wrestling. It’s been some time now.”
“Was she pretty?” Erika causally played with his hair.
She wasn’t jealous. She had never been jealous once in her life, her ego was big enough to give her the confidence to know there was no competition with her. When she wanted something, she simply would have it. There was no other way about it. But she was proud, arrogant even, and she needed to know; she needed to hear it from his lips.
“Yes,” he nodded, “she was a pretty girl. Too pretty for me. But nothing compared to you,” Kyle didn’t disappoint her. “But you know that, don’t you?”
She pushed her index under his chin, making him lift his face. “I like to hear how pretty you think I am.”
“Breathtaking,” he revealed. The way his honest eyes glimmered, as he traced the soft lines of her features, gave her a shiver. “You look like you came out of a dream. But it isn’t only your smoky hot body or the way I’d fall on my knees every time you smile. It’s your eyes. When you look at me, I feel seen. I feel important.”
“You are seen,” Erika slid her hands around his face, making sure to be as close to him as possible, “You are important to me, Kyle.”
She shouldn’t have said it. She was well aware. But there were worse things she wanted to say just as badly. She wasn’t only falling for him; she was already there and had those three words on the tip of her tongue. She couldn’t keep it in anymore, her heart was leaping out of her chest and pouring straight into his. Erika had no control over the emotion that just overwhelmed her. But she forced herself to silence.
He may never know it. She had never been no one’s before, but she was his now. No matter about tomorrow or the consequences of all those damned choices they were making in that bed. A piece of her just left her and he had it to keep forever.
“I want to take off your clothes,” she instructed softly, her hands sliding down on his chest, hinting at her words. “Would that be ok?”
Kyle nodded quickly, only prompting her to reach for the helm of his t-shirt and pull it up and over his head. She then gave him a gentle push, hinting for him to lay back down under her. Kyle followed her queue obediently and let her feast on the view.
She saw him shirtless all the time while they worked. Sometimes around the house too. It wasn’t news. But it was entirely different now when she had his consent to study, tease and taste every centimetre of his exposed skin.
Her fingers followed attentively her gaze across his torso. His skin was soft and warm under her touch, feeling thinly stretched over his slim body. She followed the edges of his thin pecs and down the sternum to his abdomen. As she teased him, tracing her fingers lower to his belly button, Erika enjoyed seeing how his breath trembled in his belly. It gave her a hot shiver that crossed her spine and nested right into her abdomen, giving her the primal need to lower herself and leave a deep bite mark on his belly. Before she could get distracted over, her fingers cruised back up across his sides and ribs, feeling every bone under her fingertips, counting them.
Erika leaned down on him and, before he could move his arms to reach for her, she gently interceded him and made him bend them over his head. A confident smirk on her lips as she looked at him as she crossed his wrists and pinned him down, looking at him like he was his most precious possession.
“Do not move. Can you do that for me, Kyle?”
“Yes,” his voice was bent in a whimper that made her thoughts fog up.
“Good boy,” Erika rewarded him with a kiss on the lips and then moved on his neck. Her hand clawed around his jaw, pushing his head up, making him expose as much of his throat as possible just so she’d have free access to it.
She kissed and nibbled over his soft skin, having to assert the utmost control over herself so as not to leave visible marks. Even though marking him was the only thing she could think about. It was possessive, maybe wrong even, and yet, she wanted his skin to present the traces of her nails, teeth and hickeys.
Kyle moaned and stretched underneath her, bucking his hips up at her, trying to find some kind of release, as she sucked his soft skin into her mouth. It was enough to send them both insane. Erika passed her tongue from the base of his neck up to his chin. Feeling his Adam’s apple move under her muscle made her growl like a feral animal.
She then moved down across his body. Her lips moved to his shoulders as she nibbled on his collarbones and down his chest, where she enjoyed toying with his nipples, licking and sucking, only bringing him to arch underneath her and huff, blinded by pleasure.
“You need to stay still for me, baby,” she hinted as she moved down on him, crossing his abdomen with the tip of her nose.
Kyle still arched underneath her, extremely reactive to her touch.
God. And she hadn’t even got to his cock yet. She wondered what kind of little whimpers he would have offered as soon as she did.
Her hands moved across his hips and followed the edge of his jeans, moving slowly to the buckle of his belt. She looked up at him, making sure to study his reaction so she could stop if he froze again.
He didn’t. He hissed instead, arching and throwing his head backwards, letting her have a perfect view of his stretched-up body caged by the invisible chains of her will.
“Give me permission to take your pants off, baby,” she begged.
Kyle looked down at her, looking pretty and desperate, lust glimmering through his beautiful light eyes. “Yes,”
Erika started to undo his belt; her savvy fingers had no trouble with the buckle. “And then,” she started, looking back up at him, “I want to take you into my mouth. Would you like that, baby?”
Kyle let his head fall back, his chest trembled in a small whimper.
“Use your words, pretty boy,”
“Please, Erika,” he whispered, still keeping his hands above his head like he was tied down. “Yes. Do whatever you like to me.”
Erika acted frantically like her life depended on that moment. She opened his jeans and pulled them down on his hips, not letting herself look at him. Not just yet. She wanted to savour it. She pulled them down his legs, helped by him lifting his waist. They giggled innocently to each other.
Finally, once he was naked under her, Erika slid her hands across his thighs, feasting on his body.
A proud grin crossed her plump lips as she shamelessly looked at his erection. “What a nice surprise,” she teased, biting down on her lip, “such a big pretty boy with a big pretty cock,” she spaced her words willingly, adoring seeing him hang from her lips.  
Kyle was flustered, red all over his face and neck, and breathless, but didn’t hide from her. There was a certain level of expectation and ego hiding behind his curiosity. He wished to be praised. “All yours.”
His words crossed her like a spike, hitting her straight into her lower abdomen, and making her tremble. She felt her inside squeeze under the desperate pressure of feeling him inside of her. She had never experienced desire quite like that before.
“Mine.” She agreed.
His virgin skin was milky pale, making her feel the savage need to bite down on him, nibbling along his leg and up to his hipbone. A desire she gave into and responded to Kyle’s little whimpers with moans of her own.
She looked up at him, making sure he was just as lost in the moment as she was, as her lips traced across his lower abdomen. Erika was attentive as she rolled her hand around his cock, allowing Kyle to settle down into her touch. He flinched, but almost immediately relaxed under her, releasing a pleasureful sigh. Erika gently squeezed him in her palm, rolling her hand across his length.
A sharp smile crossed her lips. “Did I get your dick wet?” It was a rhetorical question. He was, in fact, wet, so to speak. But she still wanted to see him nod for her. “You are so fucking desperate; I haven’t even done anything yet.” Her hand followed her words across his cock as she dared to kiss its base, feeling the need to have a little taste of him.
Kyle moaned shamelessly. “I-” he tried to formulate words that only escaped him, mixing with whimpers.
She had never heard a prettier sound.
“What, baby?”
“Please, Erika, I can’t take it anymore,”
She was the one who whimpered now. Having him begging under her made her go feral.
Erika looked up at him, nodding. “I want you to do something for me,”
“Anything,”
“You are free to move your hands now. I want you to grab my hair as I suck on you. And I want you to pull it. And I want you to push me down on you anytime you want to go deeper into my throat.”
“Fuck-” he choked.
“Can you do this for me, baby?”
“What if I choke you?”
“God, baby,” she flicked her tongue along his length, stealing another moan and all of his focus out of him. “That’s the entire point. I want to choke on your cock.”
Kyle sounded like he could cry and she was done wasting time.
She knew well he wouldn’t have lasted long. And she was intentioned to milk every drop of the pleasure of his first time out of him. But she also wished to take it as slow as possible, just like he asked.
Erika traced his length, base to tip, with her tongue and then, she gently took him into her mouth, again allowing him to get used to the feeling of her hot mouth around him. Kyle moaned loudly, not losing a second to slip both his hands into her hair, grabbing on it more to brace himself than to control her movement. As he looked down at her, his mouth was open, pretty lips puffed and wet, his face bent in pleasure.
When she started sucking on him, Kyle was completely gone. He let his head fall backwards on the pillows and arched underneath her, whimpering and softly moaning to her every movement. Erika slid her hands up his chest, digging her nails into his skin, as she took him a little deeper into her mouth with every thrust.
Kyle followed his instinct, Erika’s lips closed around the base of his dick and he, holding her head firmly in between his hands, pushed himself as deep as possible into her throat. A shiver crossed as she felt him so deep inside of her. She released a suffocated moan that slipped right through him, shaking Kyle too.
“Fuck, baby I’m-” he gasped for air, “so close.”
Erika pulled back, releasing him and catching her breath. Looking up at him, she whipped out another sharp grin. “Do you want me to stop?” she wondered only pretending to be innocent. She had no intention of stopping.
“Not a chance,” Kyle then surprised her. He grinned too and, pulling on her hair, he hinted to her to climb back over him. “You are still wearing clothes,” he whispered as soon as she was close enough for him to kiss her.
Kyle took over. He moved her hair out of the way and kept a hand dug deep into it. She started to suspect he liked it to hold her like that. And Erika had no complaints about it. Erika threw her arms around his shoulders, enjoying his initiative. With his free hand, Kyle guided her to go back straddling him and then wrapped his arm around her hips, pushing her to sit as close to him as humanly possible.
His erection pressed on her hot core, making her head spin. It was the first moment she realised what kind of mess she was already. Her pleasure had been forgotten for a second, but now, she realised she had soaked her pants. Erika released a soft moan into his mouth as she rubbed herself against him, only giving him a hint of what to expect. She wanted to drive them both insane.
Kyle’s fingers squeezed the material of her large t-shirt, he then tugged at it and pulled it up on her figure. Erika helped him remove it and then welcomed how he moved on her with a giggle. Her body moulded on him as Kyle kissed her neck, down to her collarbones and shoulders, and lower again. His warm hands were quicker to cup her breasts, squeezing them; he followed quickly, not losing a second to suckle on her tits.
Erika’s head fell heavy as his tongue played with her hard nipples. Her stomach was invaded by a heavy wave of pleasure that slipped through her, making her skin feel tight as she stretched against him, looking to find release. A louder moan escaped her lips, only prompting him to grunt on her.
“Look at you,” she whispered brushing her smile on his forehead. “Little virgin pretty boy knows what he’s doing, uh?”
Kyle shamelessly bit her nipple, in return to her words, and then offered a cocky smirk. “I know some stuff.”
“Clearly,” she smiled, pushing a finger under his chin making him lift his face. “Can I fuck you, now?”
He trembled under her touch; his fingers squeezed her hips as he softly nodded. “Yes. I’d like that.”
“Yes, you would, baby.”
Erika downed on his lips, trapping them into a kiss. She caged his head between her arms and squeezed him against her as if she could push him into her chest and never let him go.
Kyle’s fingers hooked on the band of her booty shorts and pulled on them, teasing her. To which Erika reacted moving her hips, rubbing herself on him.
She broke their kiss, trying to catch her breath and think clearly, even though common sense still escaped her. It was too hot, he was too sweet and inebriating, and the tequila didn’t help.
“Ok,” she huffed, “do you know how it’s going to work?”
“I have access to the internet, babe. I’ve seen porn before.”
Erika smirked, shaking her head as they both blushed. “Ok, little smartass, don’t get an attitude with me,” she poked his chest, “or I’ll make you regret it and beg until you apologise to me.”
Kyle smiled, so smitten as he looked at her. “You like having control, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.” That being said, she pulled his hair, making him bend his head for her. “I’ll give you a pass because I am about to take your virginity,” only thinking about that made her stomach tremble, “but remember it next time. A brat gets punished.”
Kyle still smiled, testing her. “Careful, I might decide to punish you, one day.”
A shiver crossed her. They had no future, she was aware, and yet she hoped for it. She wished that one day, he’d make her whine and moan desperately under his control. “Let’s see if you can take it from me, pretty boy.” She decided she rather keep pretending that was only the beginning for them.
Erika pushed him down on the mattress and then got rid of her shorts, throwing them somewhere in the room. She was quick climbing back on him and, as soon as she did, she grabbed Kyle’s cock, massaging it into her palm and silencing whatever he was going to say. “You are so hard for me, baby.”
Kyle hissed, nodding as his hands cruised on her thighs. He bit hard on his lower lip, looking so pretty underneath her, it was insane. Erika pushed him against her bare core, rubbing herself against him and immediately was shaken by a wave of pleasure, feeling how hot and heavy his flesh was. “Do you feel how wet you got me?”
He whimpered softly, looking down at their bodies meeting. “Fuck, Erika,”
Every time he called for her name, she felt transported to another dimension.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes. God, yes.”
“Come here, baby. Sit up for me,” she suggested and was ready to catch him as soon as he did as she asked. She rolled an arm around his shoulders, keeping him as close as possible. She needed it. She had no intention of having an inch of space in between them as she took him deep inside of her. “I want you so bad.” Erika brushed her lips on his chin, accompanying her words rubbing herself against him once more.
Kyle trembled under her and then hissed, nodding. “Me too. Please, just fuck me.”
She didn’t let him ask her again. She was done waiting and teasing. It was time and there was no going back. She was already his. And he was hers. Only for that night.
Erika lifted her hips and positioned herself on him. She looked straight into his eyes, getting lost in them as she slowly lowered herself on his erection, taking him inch by inch as slowly as she could. Pleasure shot through her immediately, connecting her to him on a deeper level. She mirrored his expression as Kyle opened his mouth, welcoming feeling her squeezing on him and taking his virginity with a silent moan. She wasn’t quiet. He was shaken by a shiver as pain and pleasure mixed through him.
Erika sat still on him, giving him the time to process how it felt. He stretched her nicely, making her feel breathless. A proud smile quickly followed as she nodded, encouraging him. “Good boy,” she whispered, kissing the sides of his mouth, hugging him. “Pretty, sweet boy. All mine.” Erika kept lulling, getting lost in their moment.
When she moved on him, she watched him take a deep breath and hold it in his chest. Pleasure was slipping through her, making it so difficult for her not to get selfish and just take what she wanted.
“Tell me how it feels, Kyle.” Her words were accompanied by another slow thrust.
He rolled his eyes in the back of his skull as a small whimper shook his chest. “You feel-” his words were choked, “Hot. And wet. And so damn tight I can’t breathe.”
“Good?” She wondered brushing her lips across his forehead and down his nose, enjoying how he moved under her, responding to her naturally.
“So, so, good, baby.”
Erika hid her proud smile into his lips, kissing him deeply.
“I will go faster now, is that ok?”
“Please,”
Erika proceeded to ride him, bucking her hips up and down his cock with increasing speed, following the pleasure quickly mounting into her lower abdomen and spreading through her as he stroked her most sensitive spot inside of her. She didn’t care about being quiet anymore. On the contrary, she was as vocal as possible. She wanted him to hear exactly what he was doing to her.
She held onto his shoulders as her pleasure only grew, making her fingers claw. She dug her nails into his flesh, willingly leaving marks across his back.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” she cooed to his ear, enjoying the little noises he made in response.
“I am so close,” he whispered sounding so desperate it sent her feral.
“Do you want to come, pretty boy?” She wandered making him look at her.
Kyle nodded, letting her see how the pleasure of being lost inside of her shaped his face.
Erika pulled his hair, making him bend his head backwards and riding him mercilessly, determined to take what she wanted. Every drop of it. “Then let it go,”
He wrapped his arms around her, squeezing his fingers on every inch of skin he could grab. He pulled down on her hips, burying himself as deep inside of her as humanly possible.
“Kyle,” she welcomed him with a moan, letting her head fall backwards. She felt him in her stomach. He choked the breath out of her chest and she loved every second of it. To the point, she started wondering how she could have got back to normality.
Kyle quivered underneath her. His breath was shaken and broken, as he erratically mumbled her name, chanting it like a prayer. And then she felt him get stiffer as pleasure shook him. He found his release quickly and violently, suffocating a loud moan into the crook of her neck and letting himself go in between her arms.
Erika felt him unload inside of her; she felt every inch of him shake in waves of pleasure, that crossed straight into her flesh, pushing her over the same edge. Her pleasure caught both by surprise. She didn’t count on coming. Not the first time anyway. Instead, her orgasm mounted violently inside of her just a moment after him. Erika came calling his name in a soft whimper, praising him and cradling him into her arms. Her quivering body squeezed him into overstimulation, making him extremely reactive to her spasms, as he gifted her with small, pretty whines, not daring to push her away but letting her ride her high.
“Fuck,” she whispered, trying to catch her breath, “you are pretty good for a good, little, virgin boy.” Erika pressed grateful kisses on his forehead and cheeks, not hiding her proud, lovestruck smile.
“I can be even better,” Kyle looked up at her, so devoted she felt his gaze into her heart. His hands cupped her face as he pulled her into a soft kiss. “You know,” he began, stroking her softly, “what I feel for you, don’t you?”
Erika had to fight against the need to hear him say it. She knew. She knew so well. Her heart sang for him. She didn’t need his words to know that if she was ready to fall he’d be there to catch her. But she couldn’t afford to hear it. Erika pressed her fingers on his lips, gently shutting him up. “Whatever, you know? Don’t say it, Kyle.”
“Why?”
“Because if you say it, I’ll have to say that I do too. And that won’t be fair.”
“We just had sex. You were my first. And somehow this is worse?”
“No. Not worse,” Erika kissed his lips softly, “I can deal with sex. I know sex. I don’t know feelings. Don’t say it, Kyle, please.” She sounded so desperate.
“Ok,” the look he sent her was just as intense, “Whatever.”
Later, that same night, Kyle laid heavily on her, fast asleep. He passed out pretty quickly after their third round. Which was another surprise he had in store for her, just like the amount of pleasure he was able to give her. He was a quick, eager learner.
She wouldn’t have forgotten that night easily. Surprisingly, the good sex her little virgin pretty boy gave her wasn’t the only reason.
Erika was lost in the quietness surrounding them. Time had slowed down. She listened to his soft snoring and softly played with his hair with one hand and stroked his back with the other. His head was nested on her chest, arms caging her under him.
It was pretty good, she thought. It was something she so desperately wanted to get used to.
Maybe, she should have revised her entire plan. Maybe, she could have stood up to her brother and faced the consequence of accepting to be in love with that sweet boy. It could have worked. She could, maybe, deserve to be happy. If only-
Erika brushed her lips softly on Kyle’s forehead. “I love you,” she whispered ever so softly. A secret no one else could know.
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The bright sun flooded the room. The morning was well started as birds sang outside, traffic flowed on the road by the hotel and people walked up and down the rooms, closing doors and dragging suitcases.
But the same couldn’t be said for the occupants of the bed. Erika was oblivious. Lost in her lazy slumber, drowning in soft pillows and even softer arms. She had woken a couple of times already but had decided to roll over and ignore responsibilities, only finding Kyle’s arms ready to hug her and pull her in a deeper, warmer hug. Why would she ever consider waking up when the alternative was that sweet?
A singing maid pushed her wonky trolley through the corridor. Erika vaguely heard it creak as it moved. But it was when it got slammed carelessly against the wall just outside her door that she was finally startled awake.
As Erika jumped up, Kyle too moved, rolling on his back and taking a deep breath in. Senses came back slowly to her at first; she had a second to recollect her memories, the room looked just as messy as she was used to having it, but she knew she wasn’t home, she was in a hotel somewhere in England. Essex maybe? Or Suffolk, it didn’t matter much. Then Erika was hit by a massive headache that weighed her head down. She felt it in her teeth. Behind her eyes. Under her ears. Into her fingertips and toes. Her stomach twisted.
“Ugh,” she hissed, letting herself fall back on the mattress, covering her eyes with her arm.
“’orning,” Kyle mumbled, stretching on the mattress next to her. “Did you sleep well?”
It took her a second longer to remember everything else. Mark. Kyle. The sex. The feelings. Panic started to set inside of her, making adrenaline fire up in her veins, giving her the familiar fight-or-flight feeling she was so used to dealing with running.
“Shit,” she kicked her sheets off, jumping off the bed looking for something, anything, to wear to cover herself up.
Kyle sat up, frowning, rubbing his hands on his face.
Erika took a moment to look at him, not even realising she had stopped only to think how pretty he was just awake, skin kissed by the sun. Or maybe it was everything they shared that made her want to drop everything else, slip back into bed and let him know how much she had no intention of letting him go, ever.
“What is it?” He wondered, leaning his head to the side, puzzled.
Erika got shaken back into reality and went back to her hasted movements. “You weren’t supposed to sleep here all night,” she warned directly looking at him.
“OK? So?”
“Get up,” Erika threw his t-shirt back at him. “You went M.I.A. all night, you know what that means? Mark has probably lost his mind by now.”
Kyle shook his head. “I don’t care, I am an adult. He’ll be fine.”
“No. He won’t.” Erika shook her head, “Trust me, Kyle. He won’t. Not about this.”
Kyle shook himself awake, trying to connect her words to a deeper meaning, even though his face remained only puzzled. “Slow down,” he hinted, moving to the edge of the bed to grab her by the arm and stop her erratic moving around. Kyle pulled her closer to him, and, against her better judgment, she let him. “Explain what’s going on to me, please?”
“I am kicking you out.” Erika sighed sadly. “And Mark can never know this happened,” she pointed in between them, “He won’t forgive me, ever. He doesn’t want me to be with you. He made it pretty clear last night.”
“Is that what happened at the pub? Why you left?”
“Yeah,”
“Erika,” Kyle tried to catch her gaze, “I don’t care what Mark thinks, I want to be with you.”
“No. You don’t. I have a past. I did terrible things. Mark knows every single one of those things. He knows better what’s good for me. You might be good for me, there’s hardly a person you wouldn’t be good for. But I am not good for you. He’s right on that.”
“Do I get an opinion about this?”
Erika looked up into his eyes, silently begging him to stop. “Please, Kyle, don’t go there.”
“Hey, hey,” Kyle cupped her face, making her look at him, trying to scoop her out of her panic. “I don’t care about all of that. Whatever you were before I met you won’t change the girl I fell for now. You don’t want to tell your brother? Fine by me. Just tell me you are ok.”
“I’m,” Erika was ready to slip off his hold and yet, somehow, there was something in his gaze that hooked her. “I’m ok,” she whispered leaning in to give him a quick kiss, “But you need to go.”
“Ok,” Kyle still pulled a cheeky smile, pulling her into a kiss. Then, he hopped off the bed and back into his clothes. “I’ll see you at breakfast?”
“Food. God, yes. Let’s hope we’ll be on time for it.”
He still hung by the door, looking back at her. His lips were bent in a stupid smile, his gaze, as he looked at her, was completely smitten. “For what is worth, I am glad we did what we did.”
She stood by a forked road; she was looking at her options and felt like both led to ruin. One represented something sweeter, that would have hurt so much more when everything would have gone up in flames. The other was jumping into the void now.
Erika was well aware of what she had been telling herself all night. She knew what she was supposed to do. What she thought was the best course of action. And yet, now, standing there, she was just a lovestruck girl, looking at a boy she liked so much her chest hurt only thinking about it. It was hard to breathe. She told herself she would have been able to shake herself back to normal. She was convinced she could have scratched that itch for him and then go at breaking his heart as if nothing mattered. Except she lied.
Her itch to scratch was only becoming bigger. About a lifetime size, right now. How would one shake that?
“Me too,” she admitted, pulling a soft smile. “Now go, you idiot,” she chuckled, hinting at the door. “I’ll see you later.”
As soon as Kyle left the room and Erika was left alone, her despair and torment took over her, stripping her of every good feeling and intention that was giving her a shred of hope.
She wasn’t going to be able to make him happy. Maybe for a few weeks, it would have worked, but not for long. She wasn’t enough for him. She would have never been enough, and when Kyle realised that too, it would have been the end of her. She was addicted to how he made her feel, now, because he didn’t know who she had been before and made her feel so good about everything she was and did. But what about when he’d look at her with regrets and resentment, realising he had made a mistake trusting someone like her?
Erika forced herself to shove those thoughts to the side and got in the shower, doing her best to delay the panic attack she felt mounting into her chest.
Breathing in the steam and getting lost in the soft smell of her fresh shower gel that always reminded her of a shower took in the evening after a long summer day spent at the beach was reassuring. She let the hot water run across her skin. It was a compromise between the sadness of washing away the traces of the night she spent with Kyle and the relaxation her tensed nerves found.
By the time she was done with the shower and brushed her teeth, it was almost ten o’clock and Erika had barely time to dress up and ran out of her room if she wanted to catch the breakfast. She needed it. She realised that besides a few chips and the tequila she drunk last night, she had been fasting since lunch the day before. She needed to eat some solid food, to drink a coffee and possibly some orange juice. God, she hoped to find some.
Erika entered the restaurant on a trot, welcoming the familiar smell of the breakfast canteen every hotel seemed to have with a soft smile. Most tables were being cleaned up. Most food from the buffet was gone, like the fresh pastries. But she made it. Nothing else mattered. She could see the filter coffee pot on the side and thought “life is good”.
She turned over, looking into the room, finding both Mark and Kyle sat at a table by the window. The table was a mess. Mark sat in front of Kyle, he had several stacked-up plates in front of him, already empty, probably from a while, and was enjoying some coffee, while Kyle was deep into his full breakfast. They were chitchatting joyfully, big smiles on both their faces. And Erika took a moment to just enjoy seeing them like that. She wished she had her camera on her. They were both so beautiful and without a worry in the world.
Her chest ached.
As soon as she moved, Kyle caught a glimpse of her and his eyes didn’t leave her. His cheeks immediately blushed softly as his bright eyes glimmered. There was something, in his gaze, that couldn’t be mistaken. He looked like someone who’d seen her naked. He gifted her a large smile as she approached the table.
“Hey,”
“Good morning,” Erika avoided eye contact, pushing her damp hair behind her ear as if that could mask the guilty look she had on her face. She knew Mark was looking at them, she felt his eyes suspiciously moving on her.
“Saved you the last croissant,” Kyle pushed the little plate with the golden pastry cooked to perfection closer to her.
Erika wanted to smack him, and at the same time, everything she wanted to do was to kiss him and express her utmost devotion to his sweet concern. She had to bite her tongue not to. Not when Mark was there.
They had no chance of trying to hide anything from her brother.
“Thanks,” again, she ignored Kyle as much as she could. Clearing her voice, she finally looked at Mark, finding him waiting. He read right through her. Erika immediately looked away, regretting every decision she took in the last twenty-four hours. “Ok, then, I’ll go grab myself some coffee.”
She turned over, leaving them both and went hiding at the buffet counter, weighing her options.
She could have made a run for it; the door was just to her left. Maybe there was a way to never face the consequences of her actions. Cowardice, for sure. But also, she felt it could have been easy to pack her stuff, drop her job and disappear. After all, how many times did she think about it before?
Erika made herself a glass of orange juice and gulped it down and then made another.
No. That was ridiculous. She could never do that.
Fake even when brought up in front of the crushing evidence that she was, in fact, in love with Kyle and nothing could erase what they did last night? Yes. That was better.
Erika poured herself a cup of black filter coffee, wondering if it would have tasted just as disgusting as any other hotel breakfast buffet filter coffee.
“The fuck is up with you two!?”
Mark’s sudden interruption startled her enough that she almost dropped her cups. “Shit, mate, you scared me.”
He casually poured himself a cup of coffee, even though Erika suspected that was just an excuse to get closer to her. “Don’t deflect, sis. What did you do?”
“Nothing,” she lied, shrugging.
Mark grumbled, shaking his head, so disappointed in her he didn’t even need to say anything to hurt her. “The way he looks at you it’s not nothing. And since when you are fucking shy!? C’mon, cut the crap.”
“What do you want me to say!? If I look at him you come at me because I do. And if I don’t you still-”
“Hey,” Mark pointed a finger in her face, “you think I am an idiot? I know you. What did you do!? Are you trying to stand up to me or something, playing with him in the process?”
Erika put her cups down and decided there and then that she was done. She wasn’t a coward who’d run away so easily or ignored the situation forever. Not anymore.
Anger flooded straight through her, firing up her nervous system, and making her squeeze her fists. “You think so little of me?”
“I think I know you. I think I’ve seen enough of your little whims and games. I think I don’t want to see you play with him and end up ruining him, just like you do with everything.”
“Mark,” Erika gasped, hit deeply by his words, shaking her head. “Do you hear yourself?”
“Can you blame me, sis?”
“You are supposed to be in my corner,” she was the one pointing at him now, openly confronting him. “You are supposed to support me.”
“Not with Kyle, I don’t. We both know you’ll get tired of him so quickly. As soon as you are done getting your ego fed by how differently he treats you, you’ll go back to seeking the thrill like you always do. Just leave him alone.”
“Say it,” she hissed. “Say how you think a good-for-nothing, junky, slut like me will never deserve someone like him. I fucking dare you.”
Mark huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’ll never say that to you.”
“Well, you already did. You are thinking about it. Might as well use the real words you are thinking, uh? Have the guts to go all the way, at least.”
“Fine,”
Erika gasped, feeling the air being taken out of her chest. She hoped until the end he wouldn’t agree with her. She gave him the benefit of the doubt, grasping on her last shred of trust in her brother, that he’d never go so low. And yet, she was wrong.
Of all the people in her life, even Kyle, Mark was the one most capable of destroying her.
And he just did.
“Fuck you,” Erika fought back her tears, not intentioned to give him the satisfaction to see how deeply he just hurt her. “Anything that will happen now it’s your fault. I want you to know. I want you to feel it. And regret it.”
“Erika,”
The second he tried to hold her, she pushed him back, spitting in his face. “No. You fucking bastard. You don’t get to annihilate me and shit all over everything I have done in my life, the good and the bad, in one minute, and then feel better about it.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What are you going to do?”
“Break his fucking heart for one. I could have made him happy. Maybe,” this time she didn’t hide her tears. “But you had to happen to me. I hate you. And then I am going to shoot some heroin,” Erika smiled maniacally, “Hope to die in the process and stay on your fucking conscience forever,”
Pushing Mark off again, Erika stormed out, too shaken to even consider staying, too distraught to remember about her hunger or dehydration. Who cared about those things? They weren’t important anymore.
She needed to think. She needed space. She needed a smoke so bad.
“Erika, wait,”
“Kyle, get fucked,” she hissed, not stopping her march through the lobby.
“Baby, hold on,” he caught up on her easily and tried to grab her, only for Erika to immediately fight him too.
“What!? What do you want from me, Kyle!?”
Her harsh tone clearly hurt him. Part of her wanted to apologise and hold him and let him hold her and give her all the love and support he had in him. But the rest of her didn’t allow it. She wouldn’t have allowed anyone to hurt her like Mark did. She couldn’t trust anyone, ever. It would have made her only vulnerable. Weak.
Hurting Kyle got rid of the problem. He was the only person left who saw something in her. She sure didn’t anymore. And hurting him would have hurt Mark, just like he deserved.
It didn’t matter how much it would have hurt her. She was already in hell by that point, reliving everything she had done, everything she was and wondering why she ever tried to become better when there was no chance for her.
“I need to make sure you are ok.”
“Well, I am not ok. Do you know why? Because of you. Do you want to know what!?” She burst out, “I didn’t want to say anything before because I didn’t want to hurt you, but I want nothing more to do with you. We had sex, it was fun, thanks, I needed it. And now I got what I wanted and you lost your shine to me.”
“You don’t mean that, I know you don’t.”
“Watch me meaning it.” She turned over, walking out of the hotel, only to grumble when she realised Kyle was still there. “Stop following me around like a lost puppy,”
“Erika, stop for a second, will you?”
“Why?” She did stop. And she did face him. Ready to regret everything she was going to do from there to a minute time. “So that I can look you in the eye and tell you I don’t want to see you anymore? I’ve got everything you had to give and I am done now?” Erika’s conviction in the terrible things she was saying was so true all her lies seemed real. Even to her, for a second. Enough for her not to feel her chest being ripped apart by her own hands. The world was going up in flames around her and she was ready to dance in it. “I don’t need a lost little boy who still has to learn everything in my life. I need myself a man.”
“I-” he stumbled in his own words, genuinely hurt now.
“Make everyone a favour and go back to your silly little life, playing pretend on rings in small gyms in forsaken places around the country, and leave me alone,” she dismissed him turning around, digging into her hoody pocket in search of her cigarettes. “Go back to Mark.”
She knew it took him some time to decide to retreat back inside and when Kyle finally did leave her alone, Erika felt free to let her pain slash through her. Her shoulders bent under the weight of the rubbles of her crumbling world. Hope was lost. And she found some sort of comfort in her despair. It was something familiar that she welcomed like an old friend.
She cried quietly, hiding behind a corner, finishing her cigarette, hanging desperately on the nicotine fix like it was her only lifeline. When she was done, she immediately lit herself another and waited. She wasn’t enjoying it. She wasn’t taking the moment in and soaking under the morning sun, enjoying the warm air smelling of spring. The only thing she wanted to do was to run. She was only taking a second to gather her nerves up and make a plan.
Maybe it was time to disappear. Maybe it was time to go home. Who did she think to fool? She wasn’t so strong as she thought. She would have never escaped her past. It would have always ended up that way.
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majesticwren · 2 months
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Holy shit I neeeeeeed part four to nuclear season like yesterday. You are amazing 🫶🏻
Omg anony thank you so much 💗💕 I'm working on it 💅 stay tuned
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