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#lewis hamilton media au
thisismeracing · 1 month
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More than friends | LH44
―Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader ―Warnings: curse words, mentions of food, and typos; ―Summary: You're friends with Lewis, but fans don't buy the "just friends" discourse - for them, you and Lewis make the most powerful couple, even if you're not famous. And maybe they're right, maybe you're supposed to be more than friends. (based on this request).
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▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee
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yourusername
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liked by yourbestie, lewishamilton, and others
yourusername went for coffee/reading with the bestie, but of course, we ended up yapping about everything and only reading two sentences 😁
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angryschumacher they just like me and my bestie except they’re more cute and would make a great couple 👀
grandpierre can you imagine being bestie with lewis freaking hamilton?! 😭
leclerccrown what are you reading, yn?
⤷ yourusername crooked plows by itamar vieira junior! :)
yourbestie can I borrow those shoes for a date this weekend?? 🙏
lewishamilton worst matcha I’ve ever had 🤢
⤷ yourusername youre just not used to the flavors! It was deliciou
⤷ lewishamilton it probably was, but right before you added tons of sugar and what else 🥴
⤷ yourusername shut up 😡
⤷ lewishamilton I just don’t need extra sugar when you’re around, sweetie
⤷ tifosikimi am I sensing some flirting? 👁️🫦👁️
⤷ tiredtyres tifosikimi I don’t think so, me and my bestie banter like this but we consider each other siblings
harrietdirection her hair is so shiny, her skin is so glowy, she’s so humble and simple and sweet and pretty can lewis share her with the fandom pls
lewishamilton
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liked by georgerussell63, dualipa, and others
lewishamilton recharging for next weekend 💛
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likedbypierregasly this looks like such a romantic dump, the kind of dump one would post with…I dunno…their girlfriend 👀
biebertsunoda I wanna be her so bad
yourusername 💛
⤷ keepingupwf1 yeah bestie Im at a loss of words too
mickschumacher Angie is questioning me about play dates with roscoe!!
⤷ roscoelovescoco 😍 Is miss Angies too
⤷ yourusername how about tomorrow before media duty??
⤷ mickschumacher sounds great! 🤝
⤷ zhoulovers she’s roscoe’s mom, change my mind
elitebarzal oh to spend a weekend recharging beside lewis and roscoe 😭
zendaya 😍😍😍
yourusername
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liked by lilymhe, lewisfan, and others
yourusername productive Friday at work 🤓
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redsainz who choose these boots? I bet it was lewis
oconnected they're so powerful together, you can see bits and bits of the other in them 🩷
mickschumacher glad you enjoyed the haribo! 😌
⤷ yourusername my new fav candy!!! 😌
lewishamilton nice fit 😏
⤷ yourusername you like it? a friend set it up for me 😎
⤷ redsainz told you guys he was to one to piece it together!!!!
bonosmicrophone its the way mick, lily, alex, george, and so on constantly interact with her 🥹🥹
dollarsainz lewishamilton can I date her?
⤷ lewishamilton nah, she’s already taken
⤷ leclerccar WHAT?,mKVNWNCJSJJCJSD
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lewishamilton & yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and others
lewishamilton guess we were always meant to be more ❤️
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yourusername fitting together like the perfect pair of legos 💘 you're forever my best friend, I love you
⤷ lewishamilton I love you forever
⤷ schumickey 😭forever😭my😭best😭friend😭
rizzhou most powerful paddock couple!
yukiyukiyuki everything about these pics gives wholesome heartdly in love vibe 🥹
charles_leclerc finally, guys!!!!! ❤️
georgerussell63 it was about time!
alex_albon lily is asking for another double date (please Yn don’t steal my girl 😭)
⤷ lilymhe too late, babes 😁
mercedesamgf1 😍😍 we’be been rooting for this since the beginning!
⤷ formulainchident even admin!!!!
scuderiaferrari Yn, we already have your special headphones and shirt ready! 🫵❤️
norrisrizz I want what they have, I wanna be her, I wanna be him, I wanna be their dog, I-
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────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! :D as usual, reblogs and comments are extremely appreciated. don't forget to let me know your thoughts!
If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘
▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.
taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @leclercsluv @graciewrote @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr @is-just-a @love4lando @woozarts @namgification @formulaal @v1naco @skepvids @khaylin27 @bernelflo @fakehappy27
©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.
― Reminder: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛
608 notes · View notes
ham1lton · 18 days
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DRUNK TEXTS
pairings: charles leclerc x reader, carlos sainz x reader, lewis hamilton x reader, mick schumacher x reader. max verstappen x reader. oscar piastri x reader.
warnings: mentions of puke, the world ending and charles becoming an air hostess?
author’s note: this is so bad i’m so sorry. my brain just wasn’t braining today 💔 hope u enjoy and remember that requests are still open.
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2K notes · View notes
lewisvinga · 24 days
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roscoe’s daddy | lewis hamilton x fem! reader
summary; in which famous veterinarian, y/n, gets a world famous patient ( and his father is pretty cute himself )
fc; various girls on pinterest
warnings; ?
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03
note; requested !i shall write as many lewis smaus as my heart desires bc there’s a huge lack of em here 😭 and there was lowk a lack of poc vet pics on pinterest sorry bookie 😣
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton, and others !
yourusername: busy day in the office but look who came in for a checkup? 💗
tagged; roscoelovescoco
roscoelovescoco: feeling’s all’s better now’s !
username: i love when grown men pretend to be their dogs on instagram
username: y’all think lewis would use roscoe’s instagram account to rizz y/n up?
username: ROSCOEEEEEE?????
username: what an icon
username: roscoe😭💗💓💞
lewishamilton: y/n is a lovely doctor and made roscoe feel at ease! i really recommend her if you’re wondering about taking your pets to her :)
yourusername: awh lewis🥹🥹 you’re too kind 💗
username: lewrizz
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by roscoelovescoco, yourbestfriend, and others !
yourusername: mini photo dump of this past week + seeing a very special guest ( and his father ) again because someone got into a bag of chocolate ! 😁
tagged; roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton
roscoelovescoco: you’s the best’s 🐶💓 liked by yourusername !
username: i bet lewis made roscoe eat chocolate so he could see y/n again
username: what are yall on
yourbestfriend: i know you resisted the urge to call him roscoe’s daddy 🙈🙈
yourusername: I CANT STAND YOU😭😭😭
username: LMAOO NOT Y/B/F EXPOSING Y/N
username: no ur so real bc lewis IS daddy idk
lewishamilton: oh🤨
yourusername: lewishamilton look away now
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by lewishamilton, yourbestfriend, and others !
yourusername: guess i get to see my patient and his daddy all the time now, but hey! i’m definitely not complaining
tagged; lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco
lewishamilton: 😁😁😁
lewishamilton: guess i don’t have to make up excuses for roscoe to see you🤔
yourusername: knew there was a reason why you came to me saying roscoe ‘ate chocolate’ when he was magically healed otw from your house to my clinic🤔🤔
username: TOLD YALL HE WAS USING ROSCOE TO GET Y/N😭😭
username: LMAOOOO LEWIS IS SO😭😭
yourbestfriend: he’s a good man, y/n, a very good man
yourbestfriend: with money and a cute dog get that bag queen
yourusername: ??!-@;@2&:
username: no bc she’s so real, get that g wagon queen
username: lewis gonna end up w a house full of pets LMAO
username: WAIT WHATTT
username: roscoe ultimate wingman 🫡🫡🫡
username: imagine going to work only to see ur future bf there OOOU i should be a vet 😫
username: not only her future bf BUT LEWIS HAMILTON??
username: wait im living for this
1K notes · View notes
norris55s · 28 days
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chaotic texts - lewis hamilton
reader x lewis hamilton texts, except they’re crazy
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1K notes · View notes
love-belle · 1 month
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every dead end street led you straight to me !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which no one knows how they're both each other's daylight.
or
for when you find the one you were meant to find all along. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // f1 drivers x platonic!driver!fem!reader // milo manheim x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - i am SO sorry for leaving u all but i had my finals going on and now i am DONE with school i just have my college entrance exams left and then im free free FREEEEEE !!!! i love u all sm thank you <333 i hope u like this !!
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by milomanheim, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 2,528,519 others
yourusername me n baby boy
edit : he says it's baby MAN i disagree ☝️‼️
11,528 comments
username NAHHHH HOLD UP ☝️☝️☝️☝️
username who u calling baby boy 😞
username gf reveal his face we won't be mean to him pls pls pslase
username screaming what in the world in this
username y/n soft launching her man wasn't on my bingo card this year like OH KAY
username bf reveal when ‼️‼️‼️
username LMAOOOO THE EDIT
username cannot wait for the grid to be summoned and be Weird
landonorris i thought i was the baby boy
-> yourusername girl u r a problem species
-> yourusername he says u can be his baby boy tho 🫵🫵
-> landonorris no thanks
-> yourusername FUCK UUUU FUCKKKKKK U - the bf
-> username lord what is this
username speechless who is THAT
username milo 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 did u get lost 🤨🤨🤨🤨
-> milomanheim wdym i'm not even here
-> username gaslighter 🫵🫵
username cannot wait for race weekend it's gonna be sooooooo fun 🤞🗣️🗣️🗣️
alexandrasaintmleux the cutest 💘
-> yourusername no u 🫵🫵🫵
-> charles_leclerc stop trying to steal my girlfriend please
-> yourusername stop flirting with my bf maybe ?????
-> alexandrasaintmleux charles ?
-> charles_leclerc this isn't what it looks like
username y/n casually wrecking homes and stealing her colleagues gfs lile yasssss queen i support it
-> username support women's rights and wrongs 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️🤞🤞🤞
username madly obsessed with her this is life altering to me
milomanheim real life angel visited the angel store !!!!!!! employees must've been happy
-> maxverstappen1 biblically accurate angel but sure
-> yourusername i pray on ur downfall every minute
milomanheim "baby boy" wasn't even directed at me and i blushed
-> yourusername homewrecker vibes stay AWAY!!!! 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺
-> milomanheim wow
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, alex_albon and 2,157,816 others
milomanheim ur in her dms i'm on google searching nutrient rich soils i'd keep her in if she was a worm
10,996 comments
username DEAD GONE DECEASED SIX FEET UNDER
username usually i don't get men but like,,,,,,okayyyyshajshsjsjsd haha hi!!!!!!!!!
username HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS
*liked by yourusername*
-> username MISS GIRL WTFFF
-> username no y/n get UPPPPP
username prettiest boy oh my god
username not to alarm anyone but half the grid is here and i am having Thoughts
username Y/N??? LANDO??? ALEX???
-> username my met gala honestly
alex_albon delete the caption before lily sees it 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
-> milomanheim let the queen know she shouldn't settle for less ☝️🗣️
-> lilymhe yeah alex you're being a 🚩🚩🚩 right now
-> alex_albon oh god
username ALEX AND LILY BEING BSF WITH MILO????? WHAT IS THIS????? WHAT WILL BE NEXT????? LEWIS GIVING HIM FASHION ADVICE????? CHARLES SAYING SOME INCOHERENT SHIT?????
-> username baby breathe
-> username FUCK OFF LUCAS
lewishamilton i see someone's challenging my paddock icon title
-> milomanheim watch your back hamilton (U ARE ICONIC I COULD NEVER U ALWAYS POP OFF KING LIKE EAT UP EVERY SINGLE TIME)
-> lewishamilton i really like you
-> milomanheim DIED
username i feel things looking at those pictures OH MY GOD
username no bc if y/n and milo are together i will simply combust bc HAVE U SEEN THEM???? I BI PANIC I BI PANICKED
username everyday i wake up and bless god for milo manheim ❤️
username the way i KNOW he posted this for y/n like just trust me
-> username girl they don't even know each other ☝️
-> username TRUST ✊✊✊
yourusername HANDS HANDS HANDS HANSD HSNDS
*this comment was deleted*
yourusername nice
-> milomanheim ty
yourusername i see the vibe we went for was "raided grandpa's closest that was in my inheritance"
-> milomanheim sadly the only thing i inherited
-> yourusername that and those genes 😮‍💨
-> milomanheim that too 🥰
-> username oh yeah they're dating alright 👍
yourusername the filter is so cool
-> milomanheim ahahahahhaa rhank y
-> milomanheim thank you********
yourusername 🦕
-> milomanheim why
-> yourusername cute
-> milomanheim yes u are
-> username THE GASP I JUST GASPED
username y/n's engagement under this post goes WILD like
-> username girlie really commented the most random bullshit
username i bet the driver's gc is going CRAZY rn
-> username somewhere on this earth there is a george russell yelling at everyone in the gc to keep it strictly for professional things
-> username russell george i am sorry they are putting u through that😞😞😞
username MILOOOOOOOOOO AND Y/N IM SCREAMING
≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱
yourusername added to their close friends' stories
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by milomanheim, maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 2,517,986 others
yourusername there are things (inappropriate stuff) i wanna say to u (my BOYFRIEND) but i'll just let u (my COLLEAGUES) live
11,962 comments
username she's so real for this
username speak ur truth queen 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
username her pr team is trying so HARD like i feel like they don't get paid enough to deal with all this
-> yourusername i'll take that as a compliment thank u
username the power couple and we don't even know who he is
-> username mama y papa
-> username honestly they eat up everyone with these pictures
username hidden and secret and private??? girl really picked out her battles
username LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE this for her
landonorris thank you because i saw what you texted him this morning and osc had to physically stop me from bathing with bleach
-> yourusername why are u acting as if u literally didn't just straight up ask us if we "needed a third"
-> landonorris LIES SHE LIES SHE'S A LIAR
-> oscarpiastri mate the entire paddock was there
-> landonorris details but like..........do u
-> yourusername do we what.
-> landonorris ............need a third
-> mclaren oh hello ! guess who just lost their phone PRIVILEGES
username screaming bc they're already parents
-> username he's an absent father but ok
username babe come home the kids and the cats and the cow and that goat miss u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username mother never misses
username lewis WISHES he was her
-> yourusername RIGHTTTT
-> lewishamilton roscoe's godmother privileges REVOKED
username f1 grid will never fail to make to laugh bc what do u mean lando asked y/n and the bf if he needed a third and what do u MEAN that y/n is roscoe's godmother
username live laugh toaster bath sayonara 😞
-> username felt this in my bones
milomanheim speak out ur truth queen !!!!!!
-> yourusername i did
-> charles_leclerc is that why he's redder than my car righOH MY GOD PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU
-> yourusername charles LOOK AWAY !!!!!!
-> username no bc
-> username oh
-> username she bout to be yelled at by her manager i can FEEL her anger rn
username that man better know how to fight bc the grid can and WILL come for him if he does something
-> milomanheim i am scared
-> yourusername uh
-> milomanheim for him i mean haha autocorrect
-> username did he just
-> username oh yeah
-> username all that build up and for milo to just
-> username guess who's sleeping on the couch
milomanheim before u say anything
-> yourusername i am SO disappointed rn
-> milomanheim I'M SORRY
-> yourusername :(( i had 3 months of soft/hard launch planned with annotations and notes
-> milomanheim we can still do that!!! anything u want!!!
milomanheim i love u
-> yourusername ok
-> milomanheim girl
-> yourusername wow ok damn i love u more then ig 😒
-> milomanheim ❤️
-> username fuck u both STOP RUINING SINGLE PEOPLE'S LIVES
-> username crazy about them
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 2,317,637 others
milomanheim something about how taylor swift said every dead end street led u straight to me 💘
tagged yourusername
11,628 comments
username I SCREECHED OH MY GOD
username we knew but OH MY GOD THE REVEAL
username and everyone cheered
username roman empire or roman empire
username THAT DOODLE IS SO CUTE WHAT THE FUCK I WILL CRY RN
-> yourusername it's how he won me over
-> milomanheim wait actually
-> yourusername yes 🥰
-> milomanheim i thought it was me saying PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE till u agreed
-> yourusername that probably sealed the deal 💘
-> username i love how he's so "golden retriever" bf and she's "just proud of him in whatever case" gf
-> username truly mom and dad
username i don't wanna hear bitches say love ain't real anymore bc how do u explain THIS
username taylor wrote that song for them trust she told me herself
username WHAT THE FUCK THE LEGO FLOWERS IM CRYING
-> username he set the bar so high it's a dash at this point
username in love with both of them honestly
username crying LOOK AT THEM!!!!!
landonorris how you've both grown up! i still remember the first time she saw you and cried to me about how fucking pretty you are :)
-> milomanheim OHHHH ????
-> yourusername im gonna jump u this weekend WATCH UR FUCKING BACK
-> username nah bc y/n is so real for this
username milo with that drawing is so "what if i told u i'm a mastermind"
-> username NAH HONESTLY
-> username bro prophesied his relationship
username if my relationship isn't like this then i don't want it 💔💔💔
username lord i see how kind u have been to others
username and adding onto my 252719262 reasons we have THIS
username all the love songs in the universe are about them fyi !!!!!!
username AHHSHSHSHDHSJJDJDNX 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
yourusername also about how she said i wanna teach u how forever feels
-> milomanheim nah bc u will like where r u gonna go 🤨
-> yourusername baby we were having a cute moment there
-> milomanheim BABY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️😬😬😬😬🤞🤞🤞🤞🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯
-> charles_leclerc give him some time he's buffering
-> username something tells me that this is a very regular occurrence
-> oscarpiastri it is
yourusername my baby's fit like a daydream
-> milomanheim 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️❤️❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯🥰🥰🥰🥰☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️
-> username what is happening
-> oscarpiastri just give him some time
yourusername not to be a hopeful romantic loser on the main but i find u in every love song i listen to so yea
-> milomanheim look at u being nice for once
-> yourusername boy i will block u
yourusername love u
-> milomanheim who love me
-> yourusername *i* love you
-> milomanheim ilyt
-> username NO HE DID NOT 😭😭😭
-> username bro needs to learn how to hesitate
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by milomanheim, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux and 2,785,159 others
yourusername if the whole world was watching i'd still dance with u
tagged milomanheim
12,628 comments
username GOODBYE
username this post right here your honour
username the way i teleported to the railway track
username SCREAMING SJSJTRBCUCJ
username pls block me b4 posting happy stuff (im so happy i cry)
landonorris you can't even order on your own sir DOWN
-> yourusername FUCK UUUUU OMG
username i just ascended to the pearly gates
username DRIVE HIGHWAYS AND BYWAYS TO BE THERE WITH U
-> username OVER AND OVER THE ONLY TRUTH
-> username EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO YOU
-> username i shed tears
username they're literally winning in life BOTH OF THEM
username NOT HIM PEELING ORANGES FOR HER IM GONNA SCREAM
username the orange theory is true and it's real because y/n and milo just proved it argue with air
username is no one gonna talk about how his name is saved as "mylo(ve) <3333"
-> username i had to take SEVERAL deep breaths so as to not break down in front of my family
-> username no one's doing it like them
username IN A WORLD OF BOYS HE'S A GENTLEMAN
*liked by yourusername*
lilymhe with me obviously 🙄
-> yourusername obviously
-> milomanheim 😧
-> alex_albon 😧
username if he doesn't stand outside my window with a sign asking when can he see me HE IS NOT THE ONE
-> username FRRRRR like stop‼️settling‼️for‼️less‼️
username going crazy over these photos like there's SO MUCH content
username y/n feeding us those milo crumbs
-> username nah she gave us whole PLATES with utensils and all ☝️☝️☝️
username i truly cannot wait for milo to be in her garage bc we all know that they're stupidly in love with each other and watching them giggling and smiling and laughing will be much more entertaining than racing
-> username nah bc bro doesn't know how to function with her around
-> username i don't even blame him bc that's Y/N Y/L/N
charles_leclerc how is this relationship gonna work when none of you has the guts to go and say that they got your order wrong
-> yourusername ur saying this as if alex hasn't been the one to go up and say that u asked for no pickles
-> charles_leclerc that was classified information
-> yourusername not anymore 🤗
username i live for y/n terrorizing the grid fueled by nothing but coffee and/or spite
username they're soooooooooooo disgusting im just gonna cry in a corner bc i do not have someone to peel my oranges for me and i have to do it myself like a common peasant
milomanheim i would peel oranges for u forever dw baby i got u 🍊🍊🍊
-> yourusername this is so sweet i cried stfu
milomanheim cannot believe i get to tell everyone ur my gf like OH MY GOD 😭😭😭
-> yourusername bf
-> milomanheim gf
-> landonorris bf AND gf ?
-> yourusername STOP ASKING
milomanheim wdym i cannot love u more than life itself 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 lies bc i do love u more than life itself
-> yourusername i would sacrifice max for u
-> milomanheim doesn't mean that much bc i know u would sacrifice him for a juice box
-> maxverstappen1 OH REALLLLLLLLY
milomanheim angel 🍒
-> yourusername no u
milomanheim u make me feel all golden like daylight
-> yourusername u make me feel all i like shiny things but i'd marry u with paper rings
-> username bye y'all this was fun
-> username brb i need to test if my toaster is waterproof or not
2K notes · View notes
emotionaldamages · 4 months
Text
heartbeat- oscar piastri
summary- oscar is dating a actor, who happens to be sebastian's daughter
pairings- oscar piastri x actor!reader
authors note- hi guysss, so sorry for the lag I’ve been a little bit busy, hope you enjoy😊
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y/nvettel
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liked by mclaren, charles_leclerc, and 5, 232,873
y/nvettel supporting the children I guess
view all comments
username why is charles giggle like that
username how cute
username I need a supportive partner
landonorris the photo was unnecessary
charles_leclerc you looked funny
username I wanna go to an f1 race so bad
username oh to have money
username I can't wait to meet her!
username I need some more behind the scenes content
username a red carpet look now.
username I need money for this
username devoured
oscarpiastri ❤
y/nvettel has posted a story!
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replies
landonorris that’s so fake
oscarpiastri babee what the heck
georgerussell55 good choice 👍
y/nvettel
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liked by lilyhme, oscarpiastri, and 7, 837,626
y/nvettel winter break🫶🏼☃️ my heart beats for yall
tagged oscarpiastri , landonorris, alex_albon, lilyhme
view comments
username how cuteee
username I want what they have
username we need a lily and y/n adventure
y/nvettel soon🫡
landonorris I hate couples.
lilyhme we already said we would help you find a gf🙄
oscarpiastri the entire trip was lily stealing you from me
lilyhme deal with it
alex_albon story of our life’s man
username I need friends
username you take my breath away
username how is she so fine?
y/nvettel
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liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 6, 837,9364
y/nvettel we outside☃️
view comments
username oh he fine fine
username cutest daughter and father
username is your dad single?
username she ate that up tbh
lilyhme where was my invite😔
alex_albon I hope you fell
username alex is being aggressive
y/nvettel
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liked by jonathandavis, lilyhme, and 5,897,759
y/nvettel just trying to sleep but this makes my heartbeat with excitement
view comments
username I’m so ready for season four to be filmed
username I need them to film faster
username she said 🧍🏽‍♀️ laying down
landonorris sucks not sleeping doesn’t it
jeremy7offical you can sleep in my bed
landonorris yea no
username y’all see that….
username we love lando defending oscar and her
username someone get him out of here
username oh wow.
username on the internet he says that?!?
y/nvettel
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liked by sebastianvettel, oscarpiastri, and 8,836,827
y/nvettel awards in awards
view comments
oscarpiastri love of my life
username he’s so cute with her 😔
username she’s gorgeoussss
username she ate up all those outfits
username mother
username have my children
lilyhme literally my wife
sebastianvettel very proud of you🩷
username daddy issues are rising after that
jeremy7official let’s celebrate😉
username someone get that man out of here
username he’s a little too bold
username what.
username where’s oscar when you need him
oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri we sleep and celebrate together. I make her heartbeat😉
view comments
landonorris you tell him oscar
username lando is me asf
username ate that up oscar
username he said been there done that
username we love it
mclaren he doesn’t stand a chance
username now why is mclaren involved
y/nvettel 🥰
username ate him up
username cutest couple
username mother and father
2K notes · View notes
pucksandpower · 2 months
Text
Of Roomates and Revenge
Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader
Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg
Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so
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Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink
I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.
The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.
In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.
The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.
Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.
Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.
Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.
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Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox
I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.
What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.
Duties would include:
Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water
Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)
Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)
In return, you’d get:
A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)
Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry
Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)
First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make
The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.
Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.
No scammy offers or soliciting, please!
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Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)
Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink
Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!
I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.
What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.
You’ll get:
Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district
Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment
Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas
As much wine as you can drink (and more)
In exchange, you’ll be expected to:
Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement
Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”
Refill wine glasses as needed
Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it
The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.
You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.
If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!
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Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:
Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)
Compensation: €400 per event
Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.
A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.
Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:
Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike
Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)
Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits
Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose
We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.
Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.
If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!
No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.
P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)
Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)
Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations
I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...
I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.
I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.
That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.
Your main duties would include:
Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment
Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)
Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc
Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.
In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.
Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.
If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.
I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.
No weirdos please.
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Hi,
Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.
I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).
A little about my qualifications:
Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics
Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄
Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway
Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)
No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry
In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.
Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!
I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!
Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.
Cheers,
Y/N
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 16h
My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!
I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.
A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.
This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:
“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”
Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.
Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.
I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.
My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.
I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.
I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.
Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.
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u/chronicgossiper · 12h
Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h
Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.
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u/chronicgossiper · 10h
Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h
Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.
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u/nosyandproud · 8h
Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?
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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h
He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h
So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h
It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h
Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.
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u/nosyandproud · 3h
Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h
Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h
This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!
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u/NotBritneySpears
Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m
Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.
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r/relationships
u/yourusername · 19h
I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?
Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.
About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.
I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.
Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.
From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.
But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.
I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?
In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.
Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?
Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.
Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!
The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.
Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!
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u/judgingloudly · 18h
Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!
If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!
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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h
I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!
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u/livefordrama · 16h
I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …
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u/yourusername · 15h
Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!
As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!
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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h
Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.
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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h
Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!
Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.
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u/everydayopportunist · 12h
This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂
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u/devilsadvocate · 11h
I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.
My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!
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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h
I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.
The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 15h
AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?
I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...
A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.
She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.
Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.
But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.
Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”
I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”
I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.
The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.
It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.
After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.
But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?
I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?
Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?
I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.
Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.
But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.
Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?
Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?
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u/juryofone · 14h
YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.
Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.
The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.
My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h
I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h
Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!
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u/neutralpartier · 11h
NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.
The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.
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u/glasshalfempty · 10h
ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.
My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h
This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h
Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.
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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h
I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h
I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.
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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h
Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h
Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 8h
UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!
When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.
Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.
Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...
After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.
So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.
But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.
I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.
When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?
“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”
It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.
The limbo period was … not fun.
After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.
So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.
That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.
And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?
Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.
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u/juryofone · 7h
Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.
But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!
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u/neutralpartier · 7h
I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.
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u/glasshalffull · 6h
As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.
I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!
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u/romanticempath · 5h
What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.
I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!
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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h
I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?
Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!
All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!
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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h
“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 21h
My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)
You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.
A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.
Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!
Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.
On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.
Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.
Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.
The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.
So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!
In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.
Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.
But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.
Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.
I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.
So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.
I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.
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u/chronicgossiper · 18h
Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.
Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.
As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.
At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h
I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.
They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h
Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h
Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.
Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.
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u/nosyandproud · 10h
The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.
That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.
At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.
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u/realitychecker · 7h
OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:
“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”
Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!
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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h
Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”
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u/buildingbridges
OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.
My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...
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r/ask
u/amateurdetective · 15h
I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code
I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.
So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.
Hear me out:
First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.
Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.
But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.
Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.
The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.
I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:
Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal
The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it
Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy
After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real
Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises
Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!
I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.
Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.
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u/scepeticbynature · 14h
Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.
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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h
Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.
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u/amateurdetective · 10h
I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:
A pair of feuding former childhood best friends
One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge
Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties
The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed
Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h
Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!
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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h
Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.
I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.
But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!
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u/amateurdetective · 6h
THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.
Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.
That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h
All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄
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twobluejeans · 10 months
Text
HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!
charles leclerc x famous!reader
summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.
part 2: wtf does ET know?, part 1: don’t start
faceclaim: madison beer
ally’s radio 📻: PART 2! thank u guys so much for the love on part 1, blew up overnight n i’m so so grateful. a lot of tswift references 🫶
INSTAGRAM, (june 28)
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liked by zendayaobsessed, laformula1_, and 324,197 others
popcrave this news is breaking us like a promise😭#Y/nL/n and #CharlesLeclerc have broken up after 6 years of dating, ET reports.
Their breakup was reportedly "amicable" and happened a few weeks ago:
"It was not dramatic. The relationship had just run its course. It's why [Leclerc] hasn't been spotted at any shows."
View all 22 comments
whatisthatmelody delete this can’t be real i’m shaking
f1obsessed I THOUGHT THEY WERE GETTING MARRIED DA FAQ
greatwarleclerc april fools was like 3 months ago not funny 😀
selenagom3z omg new album coming 😍
dangerouswomanera keep pete davidson locked up for the next few weeks i’m so serious
sainzlandoo oh yk twitters gonna have a field day
TWITTER, (june 28)
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INSTAGRAM, (june 29)
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liked by softwags, hamiltonleclerc16, and 84,345 others
y/nflorals Y/N SEEN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE SPLIT ENTERING A RECORDING STUDIO IN LONDON TODAY via twoghostsy/n
View all 18 comments
lovingwags that next album gonna be fire istg
runway/n she looks like she’s been crying my poor bby 🙁
cowboyrry whyd i stutter reading the caption
y/nseuphoria wait i thought she was on tour?
y/nsflorals she is but she’s on a 4 day break!!
INSTAGRAM, (stories)
yourinstagram 25m
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viewed by alexademie, dualipa, carlossainz55, and 345,782 others
TWITTER,
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INSTAGRAM, (june 29)
liked by kiwistyles, ryangoslingml, and 103,543 others
dailymail #Y/nL/n caught in a heated argument with #CharlesLeclerc out side a restaurant, june 28. This footage was a day before ET announced their split.
View all 66 comments
softwags this is so wrong delete this
reputationera_y/n wth?? take this down this is such an invasion of privacy omg
steveharringtonmybeloved what.
f1obsessed well…shit💀
TWITTER,
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ally’s radio 📻: so…FREE Y/N!! this was sm fun to write. dw, it only gets more dramatic from here 😌. ALSO I WAS THINKING…should we make y/n a nepo baby or not? if so, who should be mamá y papá? reblogs n like r so appreciated 🤍
taglist🦢🪩: @incoherenciass @dakotali @405rry @topaz125 @sassyheroneckgiant @hevburn @itsmytimetoodream @ivegotparticulartaste @crowdedimagines
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old-lorarri · 4 months
Text
꒰꒰ ‧₊˚𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟐𝐍𝐃 ─ 𝐅𝟏 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐃 ˚₊· ꒱꒱
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─ summary . . . ❨ after the tragic death of your dog barty and your grid mates look to cure your sadness by any means necessary ❩ ─ pairing . . . ❨ platonic! f1 grid x fem! mercedes! f1 driver! reader ❩ ─ genre . . . ❨ social media file ❩ ─ author note . . . ❨ merry christmas people this had me crying a bit but anyway enjoy and hope you guys have an amazing day full of gifts and love! ❩
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❨ taglist | masterlist ❩
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yourinstagram
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liked by lewishamilton charles_leclerc 98,453,863 others
yourinstagram dear barty I can't belive this is goodbye I'm gonna miss you so much from our early morning runs, to dressing you in matching costumes, and cuddling with you till I fell asleep I don't know what I am going to do without you nothing is going to be like it was before and nothing is going to be able to fill the fuzzy lovable shaped hole inside my heart but you I will miss and remember you forever - Y/N
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THE PAPAYA CHILD 🧡
link
I have an idea 💡
MAD MAXAMILIAN 
god I'm scared 😦
the only time lando has an idea it normally goes to shit 💀
IL PREDESTINATO 🏎
max has a point lando 😭😭
you aren't exactly known for your ideas 🫣
HOT CHILLI POT 🔥🌶
I have to agree with them amigo 👍
BIG D DANNY 🤠
yeah mate god gave you many gifts 🫡
but brains is not one of them
THE PAPAYA CHILD 🧡
traitors 💔
HAMMER TIME ⚒️
lando why is that link of a tweet that says
"at this point I just want to buy Y/N all the dog's in the world just to make her happy"
I know we are all rich but isn't this pushing it 💀
THE PAPAYA CHILD 🧡
no no no
your missing my genius 🫤
MAD MAXAMILIAN 
your right
your genius has been missing since the day you were born mate 😭
THE PAPAYA CHILD 🧡
did yall hear something?
anyway my idea was that we buy Y/N a puppy for secret santa 🥰
IL PREDESTINATO 🏎
that's actually a good idea?
HOT CHILLI POT 🔥🌶
yeah
are you sure you feeling alright?
BIG D DANNY 🤠
yeah normally you ideas are like brain farts
stinkers 👃
HAMMER TIME ⚒️
yeah
anyway moving on
I know someone that breeds doberman
I can give them a call
THE PAPAYA CHILD 🧡
sounds like a plan
we also need someone to get
collar
bed
toys
treats
and cute dog outfits
IL PREDESTINATO 🏎
if my banana costume is anything to go by 😭
I should be the one getting the cute outfits
HOT CHILLI POT 🔥🌶
agreed
and since I have the best taste 💅
I'll get the dog treats
BIG D DANNY 🤠
I'll get the toys
MAD MAXAMILIAN 
and as the father of jimmy and sassy 💪
I know all about how to keep your pets comfy so I'm okay with getting the doggy bed
THE PAPAYA CHILD 🧡
and I'll get the collar
so now everyone knows their jobs
avengers assemble
MAD MAXAMILIAN 
I knew his brain cells could only last so long
yourinstagram . 2hrs ago
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seen by lewishamilton maxverstappen1 78,838,924 others
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LAN DICKHEAD
if you got a new dog
what would you call him
Y/N
well hello to you to sir
bit soon to be making dog jokes
don't ya think
at least let my beloved boys body go cold
LAN DICKHEAD
no genuine question
if you got a new dog what would you call him
Y/N
bartholomew apophis hector the 2nd
but barty the 2nd for short
why are you asking
LAN DICKHEAD
nothing okay
goodbye
Y/N
okay you werido...
let me go back to looking at old vids of my barty
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yourinstagram
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liked by charles_leclerc landonorris 63,627,927 others
yourinstagram he would have loved you ❤️‍🩹
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sainzproductions · 6 months
Text
𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐨 ⋆ 𝐜. 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐳
THE OTHER WOMAN / SEQUEL !
where you acclimate to the current dating scene after eight years of being with carlos...
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liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and others
yourusername life lately 🩷
username mother😩😩😩
username GLOWING!!
username come home, the kids miss you 😞
lilymhe convulsing from the ethereal vibes✨
lilymhe let me take you out on a date!
yourusername anytime anywhere!!
alex_albon hello?
lilymhe go away. can't u see me trying to score a baddie?
lilymhe i'll wine and dine u baby yourusername 🍝🍷
alex_albon can i atleast get some takeout? 🤲
blancasainz95 que mujer más guapa💗😚
username it's the sainz siblings still liking and commenting for me🤭
username media did claim they had an amicable breakup!
username favorite wag by a mile!!
username ex f1 wag you mean?
username op is not wrong! she's still a wag... just with a different sport now🫣
username who?!?!?!!!! 👁️👄👁️
username streets saying jimmy garoppolo😌😌
username JIMMY???
username carlossainz55 come get mother real quick! 😭😭😭
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
You felt like you had done a good job all by yourself. You took your sweet time getting used to being alone again, having spent the better part of the past decade accompanying carlos and living together with him.
As embarassing as it was to admit, there were days where you'd wake up abruptly as if hearing his footsteps, or the faint rumble of his voice lulling you to sleep. There were moments where you'd break down crying upon seeing an article of clothing belonging to carlos, or seeing pictures when you were still happily together.
It wasn't easy to forget an eight year relationship. You soon realized. He was all you've ever known and adored... You dreamt a life with the guy for crying out out loud!
You wanted all the permanent things, the domestic future, him.
But the reality was that you were different people who wanted starkly different things in life. Carlos was set on his career while you had the burden of being a woman. You didn't have forever to waste away, and you didn't want to spend it waiting for a future that could never be in the stars for you and him.
You had accepted it. It wasn't all tears, and tearful reminiscing anyways. Your life had picked up after a couple of weeks. It was a lie. You spent a month and a half being pathetic. But who was counting?
You were having the time of your life. Your singleness provided a way for you to realize new and old hobbies.
You finally went back to your hometown, despite your fears of facing your parents' knowing looks and getting an ill timed i told you so's from their ever skeptic way of seeing life. Especially your relationship with Carlos..
But your mother took one look at you; in your deshieveled and devastated form, wordlessly opening her arms and craddling your pathetic self as you wept about your broken heart.
You found peace in the tranquility of your childhood home. Reacquainting yourself with your horse, champion whom you had been neglecting— you realize belatedly. The help couldn't take the horses out that much, where you formerly took the stallion out for most of the day. You made sure to make up for lost time however.
You were also able to rekindle old friendships, quickly becoming fast friends once again as if no time had passed at all. You traipsed all over Madrid, enjoying the thrill of meeting new people, of learning new things... And how forward the current dating scene seemed to be in regards to matters concerning...
"Wait, wait." You press a hand towards his broad chest, breathing roughly. Your chest rose and fell with excitement as you tried to come down from how fast the things had quickly become heated between the two of you. "We're going a bit too fast, don't you think?" You whine under your breath, as his face came down to press open mouthed kisses on your neck, easily finding your most sensitive spot as he expertly manouvers your body, backing you up against the wall.
"Relax. We won't do anything you don't want." He says, softening his tone, "I'm not a hooligan." He tuts, pressing a feather like kiss on the side of your lips.
"Says the man who pulled me into a dark room to play tonsil tennis." You retort amusedly, stroking your fingers on his neck. You couldn't help but close your eyes at the sensation of his lips against your skin, his fingers making quick work of slipping under your skirt, and you hissed from the sensation of his cold rings against your thighs, "You're cold!"
"Warm me up then, love." He was evidently amused by your reactions and the way your cheeks flushed at his crude remark. He wiped away every other thought from your mind, as he kisses you wantonly. He made sure to hold your gaze as he pulls away, sinking down to his knees... and kissing your thighs softly. "Beautiful. So fucking beautiful. I couldn't think of anything else when you walked into the room. Nobody else mattered but you... you're bad for my business, darling."
You could hardly register anything else after that
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
The breakup came with the long forgotten territory of male attention. Sure, there were some bold and uncaring lads few and far between, but Carlos had quickly shut down every attempt with a swift glare and a possesive hand over you. You didn't mind. You only needed him and his attention and everyone else were merely annoying backnoise.
As it is, your breakup was made public through the urging of Carlos' management and his public relations team. You cooperated seamlessly despite being civil, to the point of rudeness, to their every demand.
How ironic was it that through his blatant act of wanting to separate himself from you and everything else that had to do with you; he made a declaration to the world that you were readily available.
Your dms were sure packed to the brim when you'd later had the energy to do anything asides from the basic tasks of taking care of yourself. You couldn't laugh nor cry upon seeing several of carlos' work acquaintances making their presence known in your dms. You even saw his former (and possibly current) teammates taking their shot.
You couldn't help but wonder for how long has he been... Non committal towards his best mates about your real score. They couldn't possibly muster up the courage had it been the true duration of your separation. Men aren't that proactive. They atleast had some base sense of loyalty.
Then again, it didn't take very long for him to be spotted with some model on his arm. He looked happy, invigorated... Annoyingly handsome. Fuck him and his perfect face. You wished you atleast threw a heel at him for being a dickwad.
Were you seeing other people out of spite or trying to prove yourself to him? You wouldn't exactly say so. You'd had an agreement with the well established, and good looking gentleman who had made you tremble and writhe under his tongue. He was incredibly lax and cool, and great company in every sense of the word. He made you laugh, he also made you cry just now.
And so while you made yourselves look presentable, you were first out the door while he waited a few minutes to make his entrance into the party again. You gratefully took a flute of champagne from a passing waiter, wetting your parched throat as you looked around as normally as you could. Blending in with the fancy people in their cocktail dresses and designers.
You heard footsteps approaching after a few moments. Another man spotted him, and he grinned in recognition upon the sight of the ever famous....
"Sir Hamilton!"
2K notes · View notes
thisismeracing · 2 months
Text
Your time | LH44
― Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x singer!reader ― Warnings: mentions of cheating; lots of rumors about lewis being an a*hole; mentions of juliana nalu and shakira, but all fictional. ― Summary: A couple months after the biggest breakup in the F1 paddock, your song gets leaked and the internet uproars about your relationship again. This time they have more ammunition than ever to feed the narrative that Lewis Hamilton cheated on you. Are they right though? (based on this request).
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▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee
September, 2023
paddockgossip
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liked by ynfan, haileybieber, and others
paddockgossip how would you guys feel if your man goes out with another singer and looks this cozy while you’re out there on tour working your ass off? 👀
view all comments
sunshineyn you know shits real when her friend hailey likes the post…
⤷ pinterestyln I thought the same
leclercnation you guys forgot to add that yn and shakira aren’t friends, were never seem together, couldnt bother to talk about one another, yet this is the second time we see her around lewis this week…
randuser @ yourusername bestie come get your man!
schumakatchau this looks oddly like a double date
raintyres GUYS HIS HAND PLACEMENT!!! HES HOLDING SHAKIRAS WAIST 😭😭😭😭
tomdayastan my girl Yn doesn’t deserve this
evansnature are you guys really that surprised? He’s a man, I expect anything from a man
January, 2024
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February, 2024
f1wagsupdate
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liked by pierregasly, mbappeworld, and others
f1wagsupdate According to our sources Yn Yln and Lewis Hamilton broke up ealier this month. There is not an official reason yet, but most fans believe that cheating was the cause of the downfall of the four-years-long relationship.
view all comments
user44 is true love even real?
gomezracing I hate it in here
drugobitch what if its because of the cheating rumors?
⤷ rand32 but why would she wait weeks after it?
likedbypgasly and so it goes the best wag of the paddock :(
mclarenmason did you guys see that thread someone made about Yn's looks on the paddock and her cheering for lew, and them matching sometimes *sobs into my hands*
yourusername
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liked by roscoelovescoco, k.mbappe, and others
yourusername making music and enjoying some free time after touring 💞
view all comments
mbappeworld I wish Lewis and Kyllian weren’t friends bc I kinda ship him with Yn 😭
hailyebieber 😍😍😍😍
sza waiting for our collabbbbb! ❤️
⤷ ynfan the day these two write a song together is the day I’ll be stuck in my room crying for a week straight
ynnation She looks so relaxed, more than when she was with Lewis
hardtyres_ I wish I could be like this after being cheated on, when my ex did this to me I had to go to therapy for at least a year before going back on social media
⤷ agoradoja there’s no proof he cheated on her
⤷ winteryln sure, except for the hundreds of pics of him with singers and models 😍 but y’all taking it too serious, he was just friendly with them
⤷ agoradoja maybe he was just friendly, Lewis is famous, dare I say even more than Yn, so being friends with different famous people is part of his life.
⤷ bonoschumi I’ll have to agree with agoradoja, there’s nothing too incriminatinf, maybe we’re just trying to find a reason because we don’t accept that they fell out of love
⤷ leclercmcqueen she literally wrote “its just us against the world” for him, wdym they fell out of love????
bieberfantasy yeah but how about roscoe liking the post????? It's making me hopeful
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────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! It was kinda short, but hopefully worth the reading :D let me know your thoughts!
If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘
▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.
taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @leclercsluv @graciewrote @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr @is-just-a @love4lando @woozarts @namgification @formulaal @v1naco @skepvids @khaylin27 @bernelflo @fakehappy27
©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.
― Reminder: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛
406 notes · View notes
ham1lton · 20 days
Text
mysterious girl.
pairing: lewis hamilton x chemist!reader.
faceclaim: jasmine tookes.
summary: lewis has just released that he’s just gotten married and the whole world is scrambling to find out who his secret wife is.
warnings: no warnings! just lewis’ personal life being speculated by random internet peeps.
author’s note: i did a bit of research on nobel prizes but if i got anything wrong. i apologise. i hope you enjoy !! 😘💕. also requests are currently still open.
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liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 20,303 others.
yourbffuser: from sleepless nights in the college library to being next to each other for the wedding and watching you being nominated for a nobel prize?! i’ve never been prouder of my best friend. go best friend !!! 😘
user1: i love seeing black women in stem!!
user2: i did a powerpoint on y/n for class and introduced her to my entire class!!
-> yourbffuser: omg i’m gonna show her this!!
-> yourusername: thank you so much! this is so incredibly sweet. your powerpoint was so informative and highlighted all the accomplishments of mine. i didn’t even know i had that many. i hope you got an a and if you didn’t, i’ll write a letter of complaint to your teacher!!
user3: lewis in the likes??
-> user4: omg… is yourbffsname lewis’ wife?
-> user6: they have been spotted together at the same restaurants and holidaying at the same place….
-> user5: did we crack the code??
-> lewishamilton: no you didn’t 🌱🫶🏾 try again!
-> user7: TRY AGAIN IS CRAZY 😭😭😭😭
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liked by vogue, yourusername and 2,727,829 others.
lewishamilton: the cat’s out of the bag. cheeky selfie w/ mum before the ceremony, my wife serenading me with whitney houston and photos from the honeymoon where we laughed at the trending tweets. happy with the missus ♡.
(and yes, roscoe was the flower dog).
georgerussell63: the ceremony was beautiful! thanks for letting me be there.
user1: help. he said he was laughing at the tl being in shambles he’s sick. he threw a bone into a pack of hungry dogs and didn’t expect us to fight.
user2: she looks so beautiful!! gorgeous, kind and smart. she’s the whole package 😍💕
user3: now why did i hear from the streets that he invited nico?? and he turned up??
-> user4: don’t disappoint me.
zendaya: it was a gorgeous ceremony with gorgeous people!! glad to have been there :)
user6: need pictures asap of flower dog roscoe.
bonus:
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lewisvinga · 25 days
Text
fia our way | lewis hamilton x fem! reader
summary; the daughter of the president of the fía takes over for her father and fans have a lot of opinions about that
fc; aisha potter
warnings; ad21 mention💔 mention of age gap
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03
note; requested !
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, and others !
yourusername: in st tropez while we try to fia our way into me winning a wdc
tagged; lewishamilton
lewishamilton: 😍😍🥰 liked by yourusername !
lewishamilton: gorgeous girl just doesn’t wanna play fair ! 😂
yourusername: now why would i do that as the president of the fia://
username: KSKDKJSKD
username: queen winning a wdc to compensate for ad21💆‍♀️💆‍♀️
username: they’re so parents
username: i want what they have 😔😔
charles_leclerc: fia juice on me too pls????🙏
yourusername: maybe in 2025 when ur bae’s teammate 😁
landonorris: go easy on the rest of us, will you?
yourusername: no 🤠
maxverstappen1: can i plead my case ? 🙏🙏
yourusername: sorry i dont accept bribes🫤🫤
maxverstappen1: i just saw you tell oscar you’ll help him after he got you an iced tea ???
yourusername: WOAH that’s my son be careful when u speak of him…..🤨
oscarpiastri: 😁😁😁😁😁
username: not the drivers wanting her to go easy😭😭
username: she’s seen what the fia does and she’s ready to make sure her man gets a pass, she’s so real for that
username: go off queen 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️
1K notes · View notes
maybankprincess · 7 months
Text
maybankprincess' kinktober 2023
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DAY 1: Lando Norris, kitchen sex
DAY 2: Mick Schumacher, titfucking
DAY 3: Charles Leclerc, helmet kink
DAY 4: Oscar Piastri, switch
DAY 5: Lewis Hamilton, first time together
DAY 6: Charles Leclerc, keeping heels on
DAY 7: Oscar Piastri, Lando Norris, polyamorous
DAY 8: Lando Norris, polaroid pictures
DAY 9: Lewis Hamilton, choking
DAY 10: Carlos Sainz, praise kink and lactation kink
DAY 11: Charles Leclerc, rough sex
DAY 12: Lando Norris, overstimulation
DAY 13: Oscar Piastri, jealous sex
DAY 14: Charles Leclerc, cockwarming
DAY 15: Max Verstappen, nicknames
DAY 16: Lando Norris, public sex
DAY 17: Oscar Piastri, edging or first time
DAY 18: Sebastian Vettel, breeding kink
DAY 19: Lewis Hamilton, overstimulation
DAY 20: RBR!Sebastian Vettel, lingerie
DAY 21: Oscar Piastri, semi public sex
DAY 22: Carlos Sainz, bondage
DAY 23: Lando Norris, double penetration (with toy)
DAY 24: Carlos Sainz, familiar scents (candle)
DAY 25: Daniel Ricciardo, mirror sex
DAY 26: Lewis Hamilton, bondage
DAY 27: Oscar Piastri, older girlfriend
DAY 28: Daniel Ricciardo, riding
DAY 29: Lando Norris, anal
DAY 30: Charles Leclerc, getting caught in public
DAY 31: Max Verstappen+Charles Leclerc, threesome
add yourself to the kinktober 2023 taglist!
2K notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 5 months
Text
spice up your life | lewis hamilton social media au
pairing: lewis hamilton x fem horner!reader
slam it to your left and fall in love with your dad's team's main rival, shake it to your right and cause chaos
MASTERLIST | TIPS
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yourusername
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liked by christianhorner, lewishamilton and 1,093,448 others
tagged: lewishamilton
yourusername: matcha only soz babe
view all comments
user4: they're so aesthetic i love them
user5: i need these f1 connections so my desk can look like that
lewishamilton: in matcha we trust - and almave, check it out at www.almave.com
yourusername: get that bag queen?
lewishamilton: i am just a cog in the capitalist machine
yourusername: babe you are the capitalist machine mr. millionaire
lewishamilton: all i'm gonna say is let's make sure we're in monaco when the inheritance comes in
christianhorner: i can see this?
lewishamilton: is this the point when i'm meant to say sorry?
yourusername: considering we're on the way to his house yeah probably
lewishamilton: sorry i guess
christianhorner: i'll take it for now
user6: the way dads are usually mean to their daughter's bf but it's just on crack with christian and lewis
user7: all i can think is that it must have been hell in 2021
user8: i mean lewis and y/n have been together for years so like it's probably just a running joke (for now)
maxverstappen1: i will fight you if you dare bring me a matcha latte again - I ASKED FOR A RED BULL
yourusername: girl.
maxverstappen1: don't think i can't unseat you for christian's favourite
yourusername: if it's a scrap you're asking for you're gonna get one
maxverstappen1: bring it on
lewishamilton: are you sure you guys aren't related?
yourusername: as if i'd want to be related to THAT
maxverstappen1: babe you WISH you had looks like this
lewishamilton: okay....
user9: someone free lewis
user10: i know he regularly questions how much he can take
lewishamilton: y/n is worth it :)
yourusername: love you babe x
lewishamilton
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,400,331 others
tagged: yourusername, christianhorner & gerihorner
lewishamilton: no more racing means i'm stuck with this lot
view all comments
user11: imagine getting on the tube and it's lewis and christian
user12: clearly the biggest deal here is GINGER SPICE
yourusername: you love us really
lewishamilton: i love YOU really
christianhorner: i know you love me deep down lewis
lewishamilton: i'll say yes but just because it's that time of the year
yourusername: that's the spirit !!
christianhorner: you should keep me on side you never know who is picking behind you in white elephant
lewishamilton: you WOULDN'T
christianhorner: it is my job to be able to read you and i know for a fact that you come to white elephant with the intentions to just claim the gift you bought. and because i know this i have correctly deduced the gift you have brought every year. i will claim it this year just to spite you
lewishamilton: damn. toto isn't even this level.
user13: lewis is so real for claiming his own gift at white elephant
maxverstappen1: YOU RIG WHITE ELEPHANT????
yourusername: lMAO
maxverstappen1: he is disrespecting the horner christmas traditions
lewishamilton: you're not a horner bro
maxverstappen1: @christianhorner MAKE HIM TAKE IT BACK !!! TELL HIM I'M A HONORARY HORNER NOW
christianhorner: max is a honorary horner
maxverstappen1: see !!!!!!!!! @lewishamilton you're not even a horner STONES AND GLASS AND HOUSES OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
lewishamilton: *not yet
yourusername: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
user14: idk about you but i actually live for the lil spats between all of them and y/n just watching with popcorn
user15: is he teasing an ENGAGEMENT
user16: i mean they've been together for years we've been waiting
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christianhorner
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liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 781,223 others
tagged: lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 & yourusername
christianhorner: happy birthday to one of the greatest of all time in our sport and the love of my daughter's life. i can't say i was overjoyed by her choice in a boyfriend when i first found out, but you guys are perfect for each other! happy birthday and don't have too much fun
view all comments
user17: annual toto and christian truce on lewis' birthday
user18: i know lewis and y/n are just chuckling to themselves when they once again purposefully sit christian and toto together
user19: plus george and max together
lewishamilton: thank you christian, i hope to annoy you on track as much as i do off track this season!
yourusername: i don't think his blood pressure can take that babe
christianhorner: i am not that old
yourusername: if that's what you wanna hear... sure!
christianhorner: i wanted this to be a happy post don't make me call in max
yourusername: ... you wouldn't?
maxverstappen1: i'm already here dumbass
lewishamilton: of course you are
maxverstappen1: i was going to say happy birthday but i'm always down to tussle with y/n
yourusername: i will read your ass for filth
lewishamilton: and i will help :)
maxverstappen1: fine. you win this round birthday boy and other one
user20: i hope they keep up this bit forever
yourusername: *happy birthday to the sexiest guy in the world. there fixed it for you
christianhorner: that would be quite inappropriate for me to say
lewishamilton: i see how it is christian
yourusername: don't worry babe the most important horner thinks you're sexy and that's all that matters
lewishamilton: i love you too, you're definitely the sexiest horner
maxverstappen1: max verstappen erasure
yourusername: FUCK OFF
user21: can christian just adopt max already?
lewishamilton: don't give him any ideas
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lewishamilton
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liked by georgerussell63, alexalbon and 2,311,044 others
tagged: yourusername
lewishamilton: can you guys stop fucking yelling at me now. jokes, i just got engaged to the love of my life, it doesn't get any better than this (though if your dad and quasi-brother wanna let me win a race i'd be thankful)
view all comments
user25: crying like it's my own two kids getting married oh my
user26: the dress is going to be so fucking beautiful i can't wait !!
yourusername: haven't stopped crying, i love you so much
lewishamilton: i love you more
yourusername: NOT POSSIBLE
lewishamilton: i'd be prepared to swear it in a court of law
yourusername: i'd be prepared to literally carve it into my body
lewishamilton: .... babe
yourusername: too far?
lewishamilton: probably, but i appreciate the notion
user27: do we wanna put bets on whether max is going to be nice or a goblin?
maxverstappen1: congratulations assface i guess you really are gonna be a horner before me
lewishamilton: your happiness is really translating through the screen
maxverstappen1: despite popular opinion, i am very happy for you guys and i am very grateful that you treat me like family xoxo
maxverstappen1: okay that's enough being nice, save me a slice of cake or your ass is grass
yourusername: awwww maxy i knew you loved us really!!
maxverstappen1: maybe enough to make me best man?
yourusername: not best man... but you could be my man of honour
maxverstappen1: WHAT ??? FOR REAL ??? DON'T FUCK WITH ME Y/N I'LL CRY
lewishamilton: as much as you annoy me, we'd love you to be part of our day
georgerussell63: max in the wedding party and i'm not... i won't hesitate to get toto on the phone
lewishamilton: I JUST PROPOSED CAN EVERYONE HOLD THEIR HORSES FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS
user28: so real of you lewis
christianhorner: congratulations!! i can't wait for the big day and for you to finally be a part of the family - JOINT CHRISTMAS I EXPECT EVERYONE THERE THIS YEAR
user29: okay someone check this man's tea
yourusername: thank you dad xxx love you lots
lewishamilton: thank you christian, i will pass on the christmas message
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton and 1,224,551 others
tagged: lewishamilton
yourusername: *fiance
view all comments
user29: the first pic? she on f1 twt or what?
lewishamilton: biggest honour eva
yourusername: nuh uh i'm marrying a knight DOES THAT MAKE ME A PRINCESS
lewishamilton: you're already a princess to me
yourusername: yeah i love you and all that but will the crown recognise me
lewishamilton: probably not ...
yourusername: lol screw them team diana forever
maxverstappen1: insufferable as always
yourusername: i will DESTROY you in a tickle battle when i next see you, consider that a warning
maxverstappen1: i'd like to see you try
yourusername: my new ring makes my slap a hell of a lot stronger btw
maxverstappen1: we get it you're getting married gosh
yourusername: you better get used to it unless you don't want to be man of honour anymore...
maxverstappen1: NO I DO
lewishamilton: this is great i'm gonna hang that over him every time he fucks me over in qualifying
maxverstappen1: UGH
christianhorner: do NOT forget dinner tonight, everyone has come (even the distant ones you didn't know about)
yourusername: we'll be there
lewishamilton: how many are we talking?
lewishamilton: i mean... i can't wait!!
lewishamilton
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liked by sebastianvettel, yourusername and 2,410,551 others
tagged: mercedesamgf1
lewishamilton: finally got the 104 - i think the ring was good luck xx
view all comments
user30: WAR IS OVER HOLY FUCK THANK THE LORD
yourusername: falsehoods it was all you baby
lewishamilton: maybe it was the fact you had a merc cap on rather than that nasty ass red bull hat
yourusername: lewis !!
christianhorner: back winning and immediately on the offensive, i see
lewishamilton: i am ... sorry. got a lil excited - y/n does look best in my colours
christianhorner: i am obviously going to disagree
yourusername: can't we all be happy !!
christianhorner: after debrief and out of a 60 mile radius of toto wolff then yes
user31: can they get engaged every week please?
georgerussell63: so like i defended for you... can i be in the wedding party now?
yourusername: no?
maxverstappen1: HA
georgerussell63: lewis???
lewishamilton: i do what y/n says soz
georgerussell63: traitor. can carmen and i at least get front three rows at the ceremony?
yourusername: keep your nose away from any red bulls and maybe
christianhorner: that's my daughter :)
user32: imagine going into a coma in like 2015 and seeing brocedes is dead and buries and lewis and y/n HORNER are engaged even despite AD21
user33: why isn't this the focus of drive to survive?
yourusername: we're too sexy for netflix .... but we would do our own limited series for a price
lewishamilton: and you called me the capitalist machine ... ok
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fin.
note: here it is my last WIP !! i haven't written for lewis in so long and i loved the dynamics in this (i think you can tell that i love max, considering he ends up in everything i write lol). so this also means... the requests are open !! i've already had exciting ones but feel free to send in more. also mamma mia p6 is now in the works as well. december is gonna be super busy for me (it's my birthday on the fifth) but hopefully i'll get some christmas themed ones out for all yall that celebrate !!
2K notes · View notes
emotionaldamages · 6 months
Text
multi-tasker- charles leclerc
charles leclerc x mclaren admin!actress!reader
masterlist
y/n l/n
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 874,837
y/n l/n when I'm forced to hangout with my mclarens boy
comments
username lando and oscar are basically her child and ig charles is there father
username landos smile
username Oscar's smile🥰
username MCLAREN ADMIN
oscarpiastri you did this for what?
username we need more red carpet looks
username love that y/n is an actress and mclarens admin
landonorris thank god this wasnt on mclaren acc
username gold digger
username she makes more money than all of them combined
username shes using them for fame
username shes literally mclarens admin...
username may I add on.. an actress...
username pause- you telling me this acc is charles gf? charles gf is admin? for mclaren?
username girl it's been know for like more than a month
y/n l/n
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y/n l/n my love and my child got pole 1-2 (oscar disappeared with his gf🤭)
view 3,637 comments
username this is so cute
username can we talk about the emoji🤨
username um oscar?honey?
username yall need a dog?
username beautiful breathtaking hot angelic gorgeous pretty cute adorable alluring elegant lovely
username somebody sedate me
username AHSSJDJSKSKS
landonorris that sleeping photo was not necessary
charles_leclerc mon amour
logansargeant where's my charger y/n? i know you have it
y/n l/n I go to ur house one time, and I get accused.. over a charger
username SHDJEJ IM ACTUALLY GOING FERAL
username this so cute. now post on mclaren now.
y/n l/n aggressive much
mclaren
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liked by y/n l/n, landonorris, and 343,263
mclaren papayas twin
view 738 comments
username FINALLY SOME OSC AND LAN CONTENT
landonorris if you post one more picture of me sleeping y/n
username I'm not breathing okay. oscar is just
username yall
y/n l/n these photo are amazing wonder who took them🤧
username what a beautiful day to be alive
username lando is the next world champion
username i'm obsessed with them
landonorris why would you do this
mclaren why not
landonorris WHY WOULD U
mclaren WHY NOT
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y/n l/n
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen, and 8,876,833
y/nleclerc I'm a multi tasker
view 50873 comments
username what the actual fuck
username IAYEHXJWBWB
username the fuck
username MOTHER IS A MOTHER
carlossainz55 brother has game
username THEY ARE MARRIED?!?!
username um.. ok.. so
landonorris I have another sibling🤧
lilymhe charles she still mine
charles_leclerc did you put a ring in it
alex_albon he got you there babe
lilymhe no but I put the baby in her
charles_leclerc hm she was yelling my name not yours
username oh-
y/nleclerc STOP
username yall are paying for my therapy
oscarpiastri I'm suprised lando didnt spoil it
username I need my inhaler
username WHAT
username mother is mothering
username that should be me
danielriccardo mini f1 driver
lewishamilton roscoe is excited!
username oh my gee
username speechless
logansargeant mamma mia
maxverstappen p wants to be the first to meet the baby
mclaren
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mclaren The mini driver, Adelina Leclerc L/N has arrived! Big congratulations to y/n and charles! (she'll be back guys, shes spending her time with her little one!)
*comments have been disabled*
y/nleclerc
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liked by landonorris, pierregasly, and 10,125,564
y/nleclerc baby adelina is well loved❤
view 24,872 comments
lewishamilton roscoe misses his best friend 🤍
username tearing up ngl
kimkardashian a cute baby!
camilamendes I miss lina
username I need a baby now
pierregasly she bit my finger
vanessamorgan playdate soon
username I'm too young. I'm too young.
username I live for dad charles
taylorswift shes def going on tour with me!!
username shes so cuteee
landonorris I'm the godfather guys🤫
username all these celebrities in the comments
badgirlriri we need a playdate soon
charles_leclerc
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liked by y/nleclerc, danielriccardo, and 2,988,134
charles_leclerc our baby is a year old❤
view comments
landonorris shes growing up too fast💔
pierregasly I need more time with her
danielriccardo I'll teach her to walk
ivancornejoo shes grown up so fast, bring her to on set next time
oscarpiastri bring her for a drive!
alex_albon lily wants to babysit
maxverstappen p wants a playdate
*comments are limited*
2K notes · View notes