#like wrapped up in bubble wrap because its so freakin precious

[elizaviento]

The Cookie Man

The lovely @rixxy8173571m3w1p3 requested a fic starring everyone’s favorite Zeta-7 as a gift for the equally lovely @porkchop-ao3.  But, I hope it’s enjoyed by all!

The Cookie Man

(Rick Zeta 7 x Reader)

SFW -- 1500 words of warm fluffy goodness.

*****

This past week had been one of the most stressful that I had experienced in quite some time. It all began when my boss asked me to prepare a presentation for the board of directors meeting on Thursday evening.  It was an easy enough task, considering that I’ve been with the organization for several years and have lead many board meetings, but this particular request presented challenges that I hadn’t initially anticipated. 

First off, there would be a guest attending the meeting – someone who fancied themselves to be very important and called themselves the authority on not only the organization, but my job in particular.  You see, this person had actually held my position before I had taken over and was very vocal in their criticism of me since then, even though I had been more than stellar over the years.  Second off, the reason for this self- important person’s attendance at the meeting was due to an award they would be receiving from the organization in recognition of their past achievements. Just great. 

So, I spent the majority of the week preparing and making sure all was perfect – and it did go very well.  My topics were well researched and the physical presentation was flawless.  I didn’t stutter or trip over my words once.  I didn’t even require notes on hand, I had prepared so well.  After the meeting, I was basking in the afterglow of a job well done while cleaning things up when I overheard our honored guest speaking with a small group of the board members. 

“I feel like her presentation was very sloppy.  She touched on topics and used references that I feel aren’t befitting of this type of organization.”

There were murmurs among the small group – some agreeing, some disagreeing and some just furrowing their brows or shaking their heads in expressions of discomfort at the topic of discussion.  My boss even joined the small crowd and I could hear the self-important member relay the important points.   

My stomach was in knots.  Whether I was meant to accidentally happen upon that display, I was unsure, but it was disheartening nonetheless.  All of my hard work, passion and dedication had been flushed down the drain by the comments of someone who clearly had some sort of negative bias toward me.  The following day was no better.  It seemed that word of the little display at the board meeting had made the rounds of the small organization and the hushed and not so hushed bickering among my co-workers was just the cherry on my cake of distress. 

Now, my Saturday morning feels tainted because I can’t seem to shake this feeling of inadequacy, no matter how silly it may seem.  I need a pick-me-up.  I need something heartwarming, wholesome and fluffy – literally.  And, I knew just the person to help me acquire all three in one package.   

“Oh, hel – hello there!” Rick’s signature cheery voice drifts from the speaker of my cell phone.  He’d answered my call on the first ring and I can’t stop the goofy grin that spreads across my face. 

“Hi Rick.  How are you?”

“Well.  I must say, I-I’m doing much better now that – that I’m speaking with you.”

“You flatterer,” I reply with a silly giggle, my cheeks heating up.

“So, w-what can I do for you?” he asks. 

“Um, can we possibly do that thing again today?” I ask, chewing on my thumbnail while hoping on an affirmative.  “It’s been a rough week.”

“Humm,” he muses, keeping me in suspense.  I feel myself grinning again, knowing full well that he only teases me when the answer is yes. 

----------

We step through the swirling green void and are magically transported to another planet in another dimension.  The sky is a perfect pale blue with numerous rainbows streaking and crisscrossing this way and that.  The soil is a vibrant shade of pink and there are dark purple mountain ridges lining the backdrop of this wonderland.  As the portal closes with a pop, I automatically begin seeking the target I would unload all of my stress upon.   

“Look,” Rick says, lightly touching my shoulder; his slender fingers lingering for a few seconds, causing goosebumps to erupt across my arm.  “There – t-there’s the cave!”   

I literally squeal in delight and begin trotting toward it with Rick on my heels, so excited that I could actually skip.

“Shh,” he says, touching my shoulder again as we get closer.  “They may be sleeping.”   

I heed his advice to stay quiet as I tiptoe my way to the mouth of the cave, listening for the tell-tale flutter of wings.  As we’ve done each time we visited, we both stop inside the lip the cave and crouch down as Rick pulls a package of wafer cookies from his lab coat of many pockets and crinkles the wrapper.  Within seconds, there is shuffling from deep inside and my heart jumps in my throat as a glowing pair of green eyes emerges from the darkness – and then another, and another.  Rick crinkles the cookie wrapper again and the fluttering begins, coming toward us at a rapid pace.  The excitement is bubbling higher and higher and I can’t stop myself from bouncing up and down on my haunches in anticipation.  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Rick smiling in my direction. 

All at once, they come at us.  A green one flies toward Rick and the remaining two – colored yellow and blue – fly toward me, landing on each of my shoulders.  I giggle as the tiny, furry creatures begin to snuggle and lick at my ears with their scratchy tongues.  I look toward Rick and see him taking a wafer cooking from the package as the puppy/dragon hybrid that has perched on his head flaps its wings and shakes its head in anticipation of the sweet, crunchy treat. 

“They r-really love these cookies,” Rick says with a laugh as the dragon puppy on his head fluffs its fur in satisfaction while chomping away.  Little bits of pink cookie crumbs escape its mouth and land in Rick’s hair.  It’s absolutely precious and I reach up to tousle the crumbs away when the creature flaps to the ground at Rick’s feet, the ones on my shoulder doing the same.

“Oh my!  Thank you,” he says with a slight blush to his cheeks, brushing the remaining crumbs from his shoulders.   

I take the package of cookies from Rick and toss them one by one to the ground at our feet and watch as the dragon puppies scramble and tussle among themselves for the prize.

“Look how freakin’ cute they are, oh my god!  I’ll never get over it!” I say, saddling closer to Rick to wrap my arm through his.   

“Um,” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Yes.  They – t-t-they are quite adorable.”

I glance at him and see the pink tint has spread to his neck and he’s just as adorable, if not more so. 

“Thank you for bringing me here – again.  It always cheers me up.”

“I-I-I like cheering you up,” he replies, looking down at the dragon puppies as they finish the last of the cookies and begin romping around playfully with one another.  “What – whatever it was that got you down, I-I hope it’s forgotten.  At least, for now.”

“Oh, it was nothing.  Just silliness that I let get the better of me.  Now that I’ve had time to clear my head, it’s doesn’t seem so bad.”

I tug his arm as I begin to sink to the ground and he takes my hint to sit down cross legged next to me.   I lightly pat my thighs to get the attention of the frolicking dragon puppies, hoping they will be tired enough for snuggles.  And, sure enough, they wobble over to crawl sleepily into our laps.  This time, however, Rick is the lucky one with two draped across his legs and he chuckles as they squabble to get the warm spot next to his stomach.  The one that plops into my lap quickly curls up between my legs and begins to delightfully purr as I lightly scratch the space between its horns. 

“I wonder if they think of you as the cookie man,” I muse, playfully nudging his shoulder with mine.   

“Oh, well.  I-I’ve been thought of as worse, I suppose.”

I can tell that the statement isn’t meant to be self deprecating, but I don’t allow it regardless.   

“Anyone who thinks anything worse of you is a jerk.  Plain and simple.  You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known, Rick.  You’re kind and thoughtful and incredibly intelligent.  Don’t let anyone else make you feel otherwise.”

“Oh, ho, ho – and – and I thought I was supposed to be cheering you up!” he says with a laugh that warms my heart. 

“You have.  And, it’s not just taking me here.  It’s being with you.”

And, with that, I lean toward him to place a quick kiss on his lips.  He’s obviously taken by surprise as evidenced by the pink blush rising in his cheeks once more.  But, surprising me this time, he places one hand on my cheek to gently coax me back for one more.  This time it’s my turn to blush and I giggle like a teenager when we part.  This day can’t possibly get any better. 

 The End.

P.S.  I used this adorable photo from Vol. 5 of the Rick and Morty comic for reference/inspiration.  Look how freakin’ cute!

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