#like. I can't get caged into gender. I won't get locked into what people think I should be.

[neverendingford]

.

#being bigender/genderfluid feels kind of like the bisexuality conundrum. like.. just cause I'm one thing today doesn't mean I'm not both #just because I'm guy mode today doesn't mean I can't be girl mode tomorrow. being transfem one day doesn't trap me into a forever of she/her #tag talk #like the bisexuality thing where it's like “just because my current relationship is het doesn't make me any less bi” #(which I don't personally relate to cause I'm very very very gayly into men but it's the closest simile I can think of right now) #I need people to know I'm trans to keep my options open. I need to be visibly genderfuck so that I don't get locked into expectations #because the thing I fear more than death is a cage (wow look at me referencing lotr I'm so cool and smart) #like. I can't get caged into gender. I won't get locked into what people think I should be. #being a trans woman means nothing except what I want it to mean. I refuse to derive my meaning from other's perspective #idk. just thoughts. because being visible to the public eye is stressful sometimes #a guy was talking on the phone at self checkout and was like “I know what a woman sounds like” and I don't think he was talking about me... #but also my paranoia kicked in and I dropped my voice on purpose because being seen as Trying to be a woman is still terrifying #like. idkkkkkkk. I don't even know how to say it without sounding stupid #and also that thing where voicing internalized transphobia directed inwards just makes people think you're being outwardly transphobic #but like. I want to be someone who is. not someone who is trying to be. #this is where I go cheesy validation mode and go “I'm not trying to be a woman i AM a woman” and I get thirteen reddit upvotes or whatever #but like. it's the chronic man-in-a-dress fear. which is both toxic masculinity and also transphobia. #whooo intersectionality ftw I'm experiencing two forms of internalized fucked-up-ness isn't that so cool? #anyway. that one line from All The Shine: I'm not trying to come hard. I'm trying to come me. #I don't wanna be trying for anything extra. the constant accusation of trying to turn yourself into something your not. #as if your true self is this fucking husk of human skin that you've hidden inside your entire life. #I just want the freedom to be myself without all this fucking cultural detritus. this ideological scum that clings to you as you emerge #I just want out from under this massive rock.

[yanderes-galore]

Can I request number 1. Bowser I don't care how many times it takes to get through to you, I'll make you realize how much I love you

https://www.tumblr.com/yanderes-galore/700551429444763648/reblogging-again-because-i-lost-my-previous-one-in

Sure! I do enjoy writing Bowser content ^^ I made this one have angst again, whoops- Sorry if this isn't that good, my favorite trope happens to be Bowser struggling to understand love I guess???

Prompts Found Here

Yandere! Bowser Prompt 1

"I don't care how many times it takes to get through to you, I'll make you realize how much I love you."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced relationship, Angst, Frustration at being ignored/neglected (?), Isolation.

Bowser felt his love was forbidden. As the Koopa King, he can't find someone who'll love him. Such neglect makes him get a bit... desperate.

He isn't meant to have the happy ending. He's the villain all while the heroes get to be happy. What does he get?

To be isolated in a castle surrounded by lava.

Maybe he wants to be happy for once? Perhaps he's tired of being seen as just the villain? It irritates him to no end.

It only upsets the Koopa King more when he realizes he'll only be seen as a monster and a villain. Even to the one he set his sights on.... He felt both anger... and sadness towards this.

You looked like such a treasure to him. You lived on the outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom, one of the few humans residing in this realm. He couldn't help but keep an eye on you.

You had wondered why Koopa and Goomba troops were so common around your house. You thought they were planning an assault on the Mushroom Kingdom. You didn't think you had anything to do with this....

You didn't think you meant anything to Bowser.

You had a strong effect on him. The first time he met you, when you helped Mario and Luigi track Peach one time, he kept you in mind. Then he kept seeing you help his enemies and had enough. Now, he could care less about kidnapping Peach....

You were the real prize.

It's scary how one encounter made the Koopa King stalk you in your daily life. It was impossible to do it alone, so Kamek and troops did it for him. You had no idea what they were planning-

Until Bowser decided he had enough waiting and ordered your capture.

Bowser didn't bother trying to classic ways of courting. You were one of the good guys, he was considered a bad guy. Talking it out would bring you two nowhere.

That's how Bowser saw his obsession...

The only way to love you was like a villain.

The relationship was doomed from the start. Bowser knew this fact in some capacity, he just chose to ignore it. He's selfish, desperate, and impatient.

Even when he explains he loves you and means no harm, you're going to see a monster. That's all people ever see. If he's seen as a monster...

Then he'll be a monster as there's no use in changing people's mind.

He just hopes he'll change your mind some day. That you'll see his affections as... loving. It's a daydream but he hopes so.

Soon you won't need the cage, the isolation, and the locked doors.... Soon... he feels you'll love him. Until then, he tries to drill it into your head that he loves you.

"I don't care how many times it takes to get through to you, I'll make you realize how much I love you."

He knows it's one-sided. He just hopes if he tells you enough, if he drops the intimidating posture and looks pathetic, you'll love him. He knows you, he just knows you felt bad for him at one point.

Keeping you captive is a futile attempt at fulfilling a pipe dream. He knows the right thing to do would be to let you go. He can't bring himself to do it despite knowing, in your eyes, it's wrong.

You'll never be happy this way. No matter what Bowser does, if he doesn't let you go you'll never love him back. Perhaps, deep down...

Bowser can't accept that.

The Koopa King will keep clawing for this fantasy even if it hurts you and him. He's tired of being the bad guy. Yet, in his attempts to feel wanted...

He only makes things worse...

Which makes him even more of a bad guy.

#yandere super mario #yandere bowser

[agentgrange]

I also saw that post on Reddit. Lovecraft discourse is the worst because there are two camps, either you cannot engage with his work at all and doing so makes you a horrible evil person or we are all just suppose to pretend that he was just a full on monarchist reactionary for half of his life until his change of heart. I wish we could discuss his fiction, the mythos and him as a person with out the jackassery, because when we do we come up with incredible fiction!

I definitely tend to agree and like to think I have a nuanced opinion on the topic, I'm just slightly taken aback when I see people either unaware, in denial, or trying to justify it poorly without actually taking a deep look at it simply because its the heckin' fishman IP. There's something to be said about how the mythos is a rare form of fiction as a shared, relatively contemporary body of work not tied to an IP since Lovecraft's decision to let it enter public domain on his deathbed. A lot of people think the world of corporate owned IP, and characters being tied directly to a single author, is the natural way things have always been. But for the bulk of human history, stories and myth making has been a collective effort evolving characters through different iteration, incremental improvements, and new original takes on the same material. Its intensely frustrating some people start and end the mythos at Lovecraft's personal history when it ignores the history of shared mythmaking thats taken place sense then, and inadvertently reinforces the corporate status quo mindset of "the sole creator" and branded IP. There's also something to be said that if you look at Lovecraft's specific brand of xenophobia its all very... Juvenile. The more that I've read about their life, I truly believe that they were someone who was very mentally ill with feelings of intense hatred of their own gender identity and body dysmorphia. I won't speculate on specifics, but-- Feelings of inability to communicate arcane knowledge, feeling overwhelmed by a deluge of unknownable information, feeling like your own body is monstrously cursed wretched shell pressed on you by birth that will only grow more eldritch in age from what your mind envisions you as and desperately hopes you could be. These are all things I, bluntly, recognize and deeply vibe with. Unfortunately, they were also raised in a vitriolic, abusive turn-of-the-century Providence estate environment so all of that anxiety could only project onto the context that their environment presented them with, like scraps of paper about the outside world tucked into a gilded cage-- Lovecraft was writing stories to organize these feelings but was locked in place and could only paste together thoughts and words from the scraps around him in his environment, like a ransom letter or fridge magnets. It makes sense that's what his stories are all about, man trying but failing to perceive something grander but limited by their meager understanding of the unnatural. For him, the most easily accessible scraps was the racial and social anxiety that permeated old New England households who felt like the foreigner would topple their dynasties-- Language he gleaned from his family. That doesn't fully excuse it by any means, but I don't think the people that smugly write off engaging with the subject matter fully understand that nuance or make any attempt to understand why it might resonate in a modern context with someone that has more to work with. More newspapers for the letters, more magnets on the fridge. The thing is too, he was getting more to work with and breaking outside of that environment towards the end. The letters he wrote to his many correspondents, his personal relationships once his mother died, it all gave him a wider view on these feelings they had. On his deathbed he admitted as much, and I can't help but wonder what could have been had he lived and continued his work with a more even understanding.

#another long post #field notes #lovecraft #mythos #lovecraft mythos #call of cthulhu #delta green

[yanderes-galore]

Hmm, maybe Jevil concept? :D

I leave the plot and everything up to you, I just think it would be very interesting :)

Unhinged C l o w n s.

Yandere! Jevil Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Threats, Manipulation, Sadism, Possessive behavior, Clingy behavior, Fear of being alone, Isolation, Implied murder.

- Well, It's not hard to tell the loneliness of being locked up for years has gotten to him.

- He was already deranged beforehand but being alone only makes it worse.

- No one can play games with him if he's locked in a boring cell!

- It isn't until he's acquainted with you that he feels a little less bored in his situation.

- You could meet him in a couple ways.

- Known him before he got locked up or while he was locked up are some.

- Jevil would be Delusional, Playful, Manipulative, Sadistic, Obsessive, and a little Possessive.

- He'd want to keep you around with him forever to play his games!

- Seam no longer plays due to him knowing the truth!

- Oh well, you'll play won't you?

- Jevil could be considered delusional due to his erratic and unpredictable behavior around you and others.

- He believes if he cages you beside him, you'll be just as free as him!

- He can show you the truth as long as you listen!

- Jevil also believes you trust and adore him, maybe even love him the same once he grows attached.

- He's also playful, like really playful.

- Jevil is a jester and loves games, of course he'll want to be playful towards you.

- While with Kris, Susie, and Ralsei he tried to play a game of murder... he'd try not to do it with you.

- Honestly with you he just loves the attention.

- Even if you're just playing small vocal games with him through the bars or making jokes, he enjoys it.

- Don't even get him started on when you or someone else frees him.

- You'll have him cling to you everywhere.

- Always asking to play and pay attention to him.

- He'll never want to be alone again!

- You'll never get rid of him after that....

- At least when he was in the cell you could ignore him if you wished.

- Jevil would be manipulative, too.

- He'd guilt you or make passive aggressive threats towards you to make you pay attention to him.

- After being alone so long he doesn't want to be ignored again.

- A jester is meant to entertain!

- Do him a favor and be a good audience... he's sure to make you laugh!

- Jevil can be quite sadistic in the games he plays, especially towards people he dislikes.

- For you, he likes to make you think you can get away from him before catching you again.

- Kind of like a cat letting a mouse go, only to catch it again later.

- Towards others he doesn't care if they get hurt or not.

- In fact watching them try to dodge him is such fun!

- What do you mean his games are cruel?

- He thinks they're hilarious!

- Jevil will be obsessive towards you once he grows to love you.

- He never wants you out of his sight.

- It makes him feel alone... he doesn't want to be alone!

- What good is being a jester if you can't make anyone laugh?

- You're one of the only people who gave him a chance!

- He'd truly be a fool if he let you go, and that's saying something!

- Due to Jevil not wanting to give you up, he'll be easy to make jealous and a bit possessive.

- He gives off the vibes of someone who'd hiss at people.

- Jevil would probably cling around you and ward others away with a threat or two if he doesn't want them around you.

- Your attention should only be on him!

- He fits nowhere else in this world except with you.

- Once you free him from his cell, your new fate begins.

- Ironically, freeing him trapped you....

- "You and me will have so much fun, fun together!"

#yandere deltarune #yandere deltarune chapter 1 #yandere jevil #yandere deltarune jevil