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thrilloffirstlove · 2 years

Text

C.o.p.s writing be apon ye

The good thing about overstepping when you walk is that you can hear more of conversations that you want to join.

This was of course, a made up sentence thought up by Mel, who had not yet been noticed by the Computer Obsolescence Prevention Society. This was a plus, since the various noise was nice distraction.

Although, as soon as that was established Mel wondered if the noise was normal. As far as it could tell- Curt and Chippy might be overheating. Which was bad for well, everything sentient ever.

"Hi hi hi hi guys. Are you ok? What were you all talking about?"

"SPACE."

Mel's head tilted in a exaggerated manner. "Hm? Like- Like just the concept of space in general? Or any specific part??"

"We Are Brainstorming Our Next Project."

"Your player character is transported to a distant realm of alien technology, where the Zolarian race(descendants of what one could call house cats) need your help to ensure their survival."

"DESTROY COUNT DOGULUS!"

Chippy also chimed in, not that Mel was able to decipher what he was saying. Though this all sounded very melodramatic.

"That Is As Far As We Have Gotten. Any Feedback Is Welcome."

"Well. That does sound like a lot." Mel stared towards Bluster Blaster, who was the only one here who was taller than it. "But, I'm not sure why we need to fight them. Maybe that's just like, like me being a softie but I can't think of reasons for these guys to be dicks to each other."

"It's quite literally a cats vs dogs situation!"

"But that's just in the movies! I've known more cats and dogs coexisting peacefully than not."

"So You Are Suggesting You Save The Zolarians With What?"

"Love from the heart, of course." Mel made sure to say it in a weird tone, because saying it like that would be funny. "No but seriously, maybe it can be a talking game?"

"THE LASERS WOULD LOOK LIKE WORDS!"

"Maybe that would be cool. Even if it was just gibberish stuff!"

There was a rather sudden whirring sound after Mel said that.

"Processing- Huh. T-That Will Suffice For Gameplay."

Mel was tempted to ask Curt what that was about, how he had managed to stutter and if he was feeling ok and to please for the love of whatever's holy tell it if it was asking something they couldn't do. But then Bob started talking, suddenly and a little fast.

"Quick survey: What is a nice, plain, TEMPORARY name to attach to our intrepid protagonist- aka the average player-?"

Mel made noises in order to signal that it was thinking, and to please wait a moment.

"Well- If it helps my legal name is Melvin- if you wanna put that in."

Chippy made a noise of absolute disgust upon hearing those words come out of Mel's mouth.

"What's good about that is there are a ton of variations you can use. Mervin, Malvin, Marvin, Martin... Not Mertin though. That would be too weird for people I think."

"That'll be just fine!" The rushed tone was mostly gone by that point. "Thank you for taking the time to speak with us. Your input is greatly appreciated."

---

"You Are Looking At 2 Pages And 500 Words That Detail The Backstory For Our New Project."

As per what usually happens, Sam and Max were in the wrong place at the right time. Now having exclusive access to the first draft of whatever this project was. The c.o.p.s were very excited to share what they guessed was top notch writing. The others....

"So? What do you think?"

"I'm starting to think that Mel's constant presence is... affecting your guys output."

"Seriously, what were you ON?" Max grabbed a page at random. " 'The hive of machines CB-843 was powered by began to overheat as Melvin began to individually pick each one of them up.' Erm, how do you say- YUCK!"

"Did they actually write that?" Sam had a death grip on the papers now. He was reading from the beginning, which was actually an ok, if gaudy sci-fi. Then one of the feline aliens introduced 'Melvin' to the AI it was supposed to handle. Now there was all this strange talk of games devolving into the protagonist just complimenting the machine.

"It Is Only A Draft."

"We spent a long time trying to make this as best as we possibly can!"

"How long would that ?"

"Two Weeks, Twenty Two Days And Thirty Three Hours."

Sam let go of the papers. They flopped down onto the table.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Max was shaking his head back and forth slowly.

"I don't know what to think anymore."

"Me neither."

"WE GOT IT'S PERMISSION!"

"Like we care about that!" Max was harsh- he was like that all the time, not that any of them were less upset that they're getting criticized like this.

"Not that it's badly written- It's just..."

"Go on, Sam."

"Wouldn't you want it to be romancing the Zolarians?"

"Where Did You Get That Idea From?" It was like the c.o.p.s were insisting that this was perfectly fine and that there were no implications with them writing about Mel and a computer falling in love. Probably because they were.

"Sam, am I having a anyuerism?"

"Maybe. You sure nothing was meant by having Mel call the delapidated machine 'neat' and 'cool' and say that “You're doing your best, CB”?"

"Just tell us what you thought about the writing, please!"

"It was ok. You guys seem a lot more dense now."

"Burn this."

"OK WE GET IT, STOP TAUNTING US!"

Sam and Max did leave, but without returning the draft. Which the c.o.p.s needed, because it was the only printed copy.

"First Draft Has A 36% Approval Rate So Far."

"THOSE GUYS ARE JUST LOSERS."

"Not to be a downer but maybe the average consumer finds it hard to relate to CB- I meant Melvin. As unbelievable as that may seem."

"Oh Please. It'll Only Be A Few Edits To Ensure Clarity. Though..."

Curt tried not to think too hard about Mel, how it was oh so very nice to him and his friends and how warm it's body was and how it would sometimes carry & swing him around- Less he start to overheat and break something in him(putting the last time to shame). He really did try his best.

"Perhaps Multiple Versions Aren't A Bad Idea."

#apologies for it turning into sam and max bullying people in the second half #im just amazed i saw this through at all #ok to rb #ppacman fever @//﹏//@ (c.o.p.s. snm)#self ship #for the low low price of 0 dollars i will try and write the thing the c.o.p.s wrote

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