#most of this kind of just started as 'i bet in the aa universe there's wild discourse about this'

[multiplefandomsblog]

Streaming Relationship HCS w/ Chiaki

request(s); omg ur requests are open???? AAAJDJAKFHW ok so this might sound weird but like- relationship hcs with chiaki and a s/o who stream together, like on twitch or some shit BAHAHDJAH

sorry if that’s really specific i just think it’s a really cute idea LMAO have an amazing day ily guys <333

paring(s); streamer! Chiaki x streamer! S/o, special appearance of Hajime x Komaeda (Platonic or romantic, depends on how you perceive it)

warnings(s); light cussing, unedited, tackling???? but not like in a fight or anything, smash bros if that’s a trigger- idrk how streams work and what type of games they play — but i tried watching one and it was pretty cool :000 am still confused if i wrote this right though;;; probably more relationship gaming hcs than streaming :’) but i tried!!!! anyway back to warnings, gender-neutral reader, teeth-rotting fluff, mention of chloroform(it’s not how you think i used it for tho, no one gets drugged dw), silent treatment, sugar rushes, simps lmfao wtf-

note; WEEEEE OKAY SO I INITIALLY THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE HARD CONSIDERING IVE NEVER WATCHED A TWITCH STREAM IN MY LIFE AND IDK WHAT IT IS BUT ASDHBSDKFHJBFAS AFTER SOME ‘RESEARCH’ I TOTALLY JUST WENT HAM AND IDEAS JUST FLOWED LIKE AN ANIMAL CROSSING RIVER — anyway, hope you enjoy!!! AA

- mod chia

◊ Okay so, I think that during streams, Chiaki probably wouldn’t talk that much; and when she did, it was usually just small quiet, cute and questionable things that make you take a minute — and then die(of laughter).

The whole quiet thing is just a façade, isn’t it!? >:0

◊ If she ever loses a game, or loses some inventory, she won’t have that big of a reaction, but she’ll abruptly stop and tense. Her first instinct however, to calm herself down, is, well, you. So she’ll take a deep breath — only it’s in your chest,,, and she can’t breathe. She will just lean over to you, stuff her face in your chest and then- *SNIFFFF* 

◊ She’ll probably stay there for a while and just kind of… forget her loss, as well as forget she was on a stream(oops). 

◊ “Yeah, just give me a mmmm- minute… or more… I think.” Her voice would be muffled from the material of your shirt, and slightly drowsy — your scent is intoxicating, it’s almost like chloroform for her. One inhale, and she’s —

◊ “Chiaki...? Chiaki? W- we’re on a stream-” HAH Good luck waking her up, she’s out like a light — not only that, she will whine if you wake her up, better yet, she’ll climb further onto you until you almost fall off your gaming chair, or bean bag... bean bags are dope. *wait, i just got an idea- hol’ up

◊ It’s awkward as shit on the stream; especially when there’s people simping for your gamer girlfriend. 

◊ Right after Chiaki feels you give up on trying to rouse her, she’ll immediately take your moment of vulnerability to climb into our lap and bury her nose in your shoulder, getting comfortable before the soft snores start again. It’s so abrupt and on cue, that it makes you wonder if she was just faking her sleep, or if it was just pure muscle memory.

◊ Yes, muscle memory. 

◊ She’s done this so many times out of streams, and in, that it’s literally become instinct.

◊ You cannot start a stream without Chiaki knowing, she has your notifications on, so the moment you go live, you will hear a very silent, but full-of-emotion gasp in the other room — or even the other side of the planet depending on where you guys are located. 

◊ If you start a stream without her, she will give you the silent treatment for one hour. That’s right, one whole hour. So don’t betray her trust, one hour is longer than you think it is — you’d learn that the hard way.

◊ She may cave in after one hour, but she will definitely bring it up in a passive-aggressive way.

— “Chiaki? Are you going to order some food?” “Are you going to invite me to your next stream?” It’d be quiet, a near whisper, but you can still hear how whiny- furious she is. 

◊ If you two were streamers, it’d definitely be Chiaki who introduced you to it first, and invited you to her stream first too. Your relationship known to everyone else is kind of like,, Chiaki is player 1, and you’re player 2; if that makes sense...?

◊ Point is, everyone knows Chiaki better than you — but after some time, you two kind of become a team instead. And this was always her plan too! She always wanted to be a gaming team with you, so if you ever streamed or gamed without her, she will get mad. 

◊ — doesn’t mean she won’t play against you, however. 

◊ If you did get her mad, she will destroy you at street fighter. And at a shit ton of other games too; less merciful than usual. You swear you can see an almost terrifying fierceness in her eye as she jabs at the buttons loudly — everyone on the stream are just, nervously sweating for you.

◊ You guys probably have a cute, pastel themed gaming room with bean bags, and just shelves and shelves of imported snacks and instant noodles. The keyboard is pastel coloured, the computer, the bean bags*, everything is pastel themed and coloured; extremely soft to the eye, especially after gaming, it’s just very nice and soft for when your eyes get sore :)

◊ As mentioned earlier, you two are an unseparable team. Whenever you two are playing 2v2 against Komaeda and Hajime, you always end up in the same time — whether if it’s because you two chose to do so, or the game spinner chose for you.

◊ You suspect it’s probably because of Komaeda’s luck — but it’s nice to think that the universe ships you both together, right? 

◊ Chiaki definitely carries you, but she really doesn’t mind; it’s easy for her. And honestly, she’s just glad you’re playing with her. You being there is a huge supreme factor to her winning most of the games too. The motivation to win for her super hot partner, and to be the hero is very active when you’re sitting knee-to-knee to her.

◊ So yeah, she obliterates Hajime and Komaeda at Smash Bros because she wants to see you praise her and be impressed <33

◊ Praise her though. Seriously.

◊ Give her head pats, hug her(the favoured option), or cheer for her; all that really matters, is that she knows you’re proud of her — even if it’s live, and millions are watching, just shamelessly praise her. Your opinion matters a lot to her, so make sure to take care of that fact, take care of her.

◊ She’d definitely do the same for you!! >:000

◊ If she drank a lot of soda from the mini fridge(yes, you two have a mini fridge), and she’s super energetic from the sugar/caffeine rush, you will bet your sore ass(from sitting, get your mind out of the gutter), that she will tackle you to the ground and start squishing her forehead against yours as she stares you uncomfortably in the eye, “How did you do that!?” she’d be so proud of you, but mostly — she needed to know. How the hell. You did that.

◊ She’ll probably be vibrating from the energy, and when she gets up, she literally starts talking to everyone on the stream at a volume that may be too loud — but she doesn’t care so — “You guys saw that right...?!” through slurred speech and energy that had slowly been draining within each second, she’ll probably last on that sugar rush for a couple more seconds before clinging onto you and just. Sleeping.

#mod chia #danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa oneshot #danganronpa fluff #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa headcanons #sdr2 x reader #sdr2 #sdr2 chiaki #dr chiaki x reader #dr chiaki #chiaki nanami #chiaki nanami x reader #chiaki x reader #chiaki fluff #chiaki #chiaki nanami fluff #chiaki nanami headcanons #chiaki x reader headcanons #chiaki fluff headcanons #super danganronpa 2 #super danganronpa goodbye despair

[kylorenskitten]

Strange Magic - Adam Sackler x Reader - Chapter One

[[A/N: Yes the title is stolen from the ELO song expect many of my fics to be named after 70′s era songs because I’m not good at naming things. Anyway I finally watched all of girls and I really adore his character in the show. More fics to come and more chapters for this one too! 

3k Words Rated: +18 only

Features lots of dirty talk and explicit scenes. Hope you all enjoy!

_______________________________________

It was a Thursday night, you’re walking down the streets of New York City. The destination in your mind is a little Italian restaurant that you’ve never been to before. Your friend Alicia set you up on a blind date with some guy she met in the theater and that’s where you’re headed. You don’t know anything about this guy other than his name is Adam Sackler, he’s super tall and he’s an actor who’s been in multiple Broadway productions. You’re a writer of romantic novels, erotic romantic novels. You have a couple titles under your belt that have done so well in sales, you’ve made a name for yourself here in this city. 

You’re almost there now, the clicking of your heels on the pavement following you and your hair blowing in the wind. You open the door to the restaurant, going inside. Looking around, you walk through the restaurant and try to find someone sitting alone, someone tall. You turn the corner and see who you think may be the person you’re here to meet. He sees you and stands up, confirming that he’s the one. Now you’re face to face. He’s got to be one of the most handsome guys you’ve ever seen, unique facial features with freckles that dot it all over. 

“You must be Y/N.” He says with a smile, pulling out your chair for you.

“Yes, I am. You must be Adam then.” You respond, sitting down at the table. He sits across from you, eyes locked onto you. 

“Have you ever been here before?” He asks, trying to make casual conversation. 

“No, actually. Have you? I do love Italian food though.” You say, picking up a menu and browsing through it. 

“I haven’t, but I heard it’s good.” He picks up his own menu and starts looking at it. It’s quiet now for a moment, before he speaks up again. “So you’re a writer?” He says. 

“Yes. I have a few novels published.” You respond, hoping he won’t ask what your books are about. 

“I used to know a writer.” He mentioned, picking up his glass of water and taking a sip quickly before continuing to speak. “She was crazy.”

“Well I’m not crazy.” You laugh and sip the wine that he must have ordered for you before you arrived. 

“I know, I was just saying.” He says and the waitress comes by to your table, ready to take your orders. You and Adam tell her what you want and she leaves again. “What do you write about? What kind of novels? Anything I’ve read before?" 

I sure hope not. You think to yourself, trying to figure out what to tell him. "I write romance novels. I doubt you’ve read any of them.” You said. 

“Alright. Then I’ll have to read one of them soon.” He says and the waitress brings over a salad for you two to enjoy before your dinner. You hope he doesn’t ever read your novels, although you know your secret will have to come out soon. You’re just afraid of being judged if he finds out that you write erotic fiction romance books, ones with intense sexual scenes that you’ve never let anyone you were dating read. You know he’s going to get a hold of one and read it, you’re just afraid of what he will think of you after. 

You both eat your salad, engaging in more casual conversation about any old random thing that comes to mind. You can’t deny you’re unbelievably attracted to Adam. He’s so handsome, you love looking at him from across the table. “How’s the theater been treating you? I’d love to come to your show when it opens.” You offer him a smile. 

“You should definitely come see it. It’s wonderful, I’ve finally found my calling. I love acting and becoming different characters.” He smiles back just as wide, it brings butterflies to your stomach. 

“I will! I’m happy for you. It’s a big achievement, being a Broadway actor.” You sip your wine some more, finishing off your first glass. He picks up the bottle from the bucket of ice on the table and pours you some more. Next your waitress brings out your entrees and they look delicious. The two of you eat dinner, you drink more wine and continue your date together, getting to know each other. He doesn’t drink and he tells you it’s because he’s in AA, to which you congratulate him on his sobriety. This night has been absolutely wonderful, not what you expected this blind date to be like. He’s so sweet to you, he listens so well and you can’t help but be ridiculously attracted to him. After you’re done having dinner, he pays the bill and the two of you leave the restaurant, walking outside onto the sidewalk. “Would you like to go back to my place?” You suggest to him, surprised in yourself that you made such a bold move. To be honest, you don’t want to say goodbye to him just yet. The night is still young and it’s only just getting started. 

“Of course!” He says, taking your hand and holding it. You hail down a taxi and the both of you get inside. You tell the driver your address and he starts taking you there, your body relaxing in the back seat against Adam’s. It feels amazing to be so close to him. He smells wonderful, his strong arm around your shoulders, your head resting against his pec. The cab trip doesn’t take too long and soon you arrive at your apartment, getting out of the taxi. You live in a very nice apartment building near Central Park. He follows you inside as you say hello to the doorman and walk to the elevator. It takes you up to the tenth floor where your apartment is. You unlock the door and open it, shutting it and locking it behind you once you’re both inside. 

“Well here it is. My humble abode.” You say, taking off your heels and putting them by the door for you to actually put away later. Your apartment is decorated in expensive decor, there’s a shelf of awards by the fake fireplace and the walls are lined with bookshelves full of novels of all different kinds. He kicks off his shoes too and takes off his jacket, hanging it on the hook on the wall. 

“Very nice.” He says, looking around. “How long have you lived in New York?” He asks you. 

“I moved here to go to University when I was 18. I’m 24 now.” You tell him. He goes over to a bookshelf, the one with the novels you wrote on it. He sees that those books have your name on them.

“Are these the ones you wrote?” He asks you and picks up a book, looking at the cover. You rush over and try to take the book away from him. 

“Yes I wrote those but I’d rather you not read them right now.” You say but he won’t hand the book back over. 

“Why not? What’s in them that I can’t see right now?” He opens the book to the first page and starts skimming over it. The anxiety in your chest is rising, you’re so nervous right now. 

“Nothing, I was just hoping we’d get to spend some time together right now, you know.” You say but he turns the pages further and continues to read. His eyes widen, now glued to the words on the page. You can tell he’s reading an erotic scene, it’s probably the first one of that novel where the main character gives her love interest a blow job. 

“Is this why you didn’t want me to read them?” He asks you, not taking his eyes off the page. 

“Yes.” You frown a little and cover your face with your hands. He flips the pages and skims them, seeing more and more vulgar words strawn together to make the many sex scenes in that novel. 

“I’ve never read something like this before.” He says softly, looking over at you as he shuts the book and puts it back. “I’d love to read it more for real and the other ones too.” You stare at him, unsure of what to say. “What? Are you embarrassed? Obviously you’re extremely successful.” He said, waving his hand around momentarily at your apartment that surrounded you. 

“I’m not embarrassed. I just didn’t want to show you those quite yet.” You said and went to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of red wine. He follows you, watching you. 

“I get that. Sorry I read them when you didn’t want me to. I was just very curious.”

“It’s okay.” You take a sip of your wine. 

“I’m still very curious.” He walks over to you, placing his hands on your hips and you love the way his touch feels. “How do you get the inspiration to write those?” His question makes you chuckle lightly. 

“How does any writer get inspiration? Experiences, fantasies, ideas. Then I put them all together to make a story.” Your eyes are locked on his face and his on yours. 

“That’s true… Let’s go sit down? I’d love to hear more about your creative process.” He takes your free hand and leads you back into the living room, causing you to chuckle again. You two have a seat on the couch, real close to each other like how you were sitting in the back of the taxi. “I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t turn me on that you write smutty stories.” He says ever so boldly. 

“Well thank you for being honest.” You grin, setting your glass on the coffee table in front of the sofa. 

“I bet you’re really kinky, aren’t you?” He strokes your cheek with his thumb, your faces so close to each other. His voice is soft and sensual as you’re surrounded by the warmth of his body. 

“You could say that. I guess one has to be when they write erotic novels.” You confess, a little smirk on your lips. He presses his lips to yours in the first kiss you’ll ever share and it’s absolutely perfect. His lips are so soft, plump and they feel amazing against yours. Your hands rest on his big arms, tasting his tongue when he slips it into your mouth. He kisses you with passion and desire, one of his hands rested on your cheek and the other one on your hip. He breaks the kiss for a moment to whisper on your lips.

“I like you. You’re gorgeous, you’re talented and I like the way it feels to be around you." 

"I like you too. Very much. Would you like to see my bedroom? I just feel bad not showing you the entire apartment yet.” You say and it’s really just an excuse to get him inside your bedroom. 

“Yes, of course.” He smiles and you two stand up, you take his hand and lead him around your apartment. You show him your study, your library, the bathroom and laundry room and then you lead him into your bedroom where your king size bed is. He immediately puts his arms around your waist and your lips lock again, your arms going around his neck. Your tongues begin a battle against each other, tasting each other and it makes you moan a little into his mouth. He moves his hands to grope your ass and then breaks the kiss to attach his lips to the skin of your neck, collarbones and shoulders, leaving kisses and little bites all over you. Your fingers tug his shirt up and he raises his arms to help you remove it. You have to stop yourself from drooling when you see his chiseled, hard chest and his bare, muscular arms. He reaches behind you and unzips your dress, pushing it off your shoulders, watching it fall to the ground. Adam sees you in your bra and panties, reaching his hand to squeeze your breast for a moment. As he’s taking off your bra, you go for his belt buckle and open it up, unzipping his jeans zipper and pushing his pants down his waist. He kicks them off, now the two of you are just in your underwear. 

“You are so beautiful, I don’t know how I’m gonna thank Alicia for introducing us.” He says and tucks your hair behind your ear. 

“I’ll have to find some way to thank her as well. You’re pretty stunning yourself, Adam.” You say and sit on the edge of the bed. He stands in front of you, eyes locked on your face as he stares down at you. You hook your fingers to the waistband of his underwear and slowly pull them down. His rock hard cock pops out and it’s way bigger than you expected. You figured with how tall he is, he’d be big but you had no idea that this is what he was hiding in his pants this whole time. “Fuck.” You mumble, wrapping your hand around his erection and pumping it slowly. He steps out of his underwear and tugs at your panties. 

“Take these off. I want to touch you.” He tells you and it makes you feel like there are volts of electricity rushing through your veins. 

“Yes, sir.” You say softly and wiggle out of your panties, letting them fall to the ground then stepping out of them. 

“Good girl. Lie down right here on the edge of the bed in front of me.” He orders you and you obey. You lie on the edge and open your legs enough for him to have access. Adam sticks his fingers between your thighs and starts to rub your slickness up and down. You take his length in your hand and start stroking it again, watching as he makes a face of pleasure. His touch feels so good in your most sensitive area, you’re moaning as you lift your legs up a little to give him better access. He slides a finger inside you and pumps it in and out, over and over. 

“Oooh, yes please.” You moan and he bites his lip, moving his finger faster. He’s making you very wet and your hand moving on his cock is just making you want him more. He sticks another finger inside of you and continues to work his digits in and out of you, harder now. “Oh shit! Yes! Yes!” You moan, encouraging him, staring up at him with lustful, needy eyes. 

“You want my cock inside of you? Deep, deep inside of you?” He asks you, your cunt soaking wet from the touch of his fingers. 

“Yes! Yes I do! I want your cock deep inside of me, Adam!” You moan loudly and honestly then he retracts his hand from between your thighs, moving it to his cock to transfer the wetness from your pussy to it. 

“Adam, will you sit up against the headboard on the bed? I want to ride you.” You ask him, knowing it would be best to start this way because of how big he is, you can have control at first to get yourself adjusted to his size. 

“Sure, of course.” He says and nods eagerly getting on the bed to sit in the middle with his back against the headboard like you asked. He was typically very dominant in bed, but he just couldn’t say no to you asking to ride him. You climb on top of him and straddle his hips then he guides his cock inside you slowly, filling you all the way up as you slide down on him. 

You can feel every inch of him stretching you out, not moving for a moment to relax yourself around him. His hands are on your hips and his gaze is locked on yours. He tilts his face forward and kisses you longingly to which you return the kiss with passion. Your fingers are woven into his long dark hair while you start to move your hips slowly, it helps that he got you so wet earlier with his fingers. His cock slides in and out of you again and again with ease as you ride him, both of you moaning into each other’s mouths. 

He breaks the kiss with a deep breath, moving his hands down your body behind you to your ass, squeezing your cheeks as they bounce on his dick. Next he does something a bit bold but it’s certainly not unwelcome. He raises his hand and brings it down with a hard smack to your ass cheek, making you moan. 

“You like being spanked? You’re a dirty girl who likes when I spank her ass?” He says while keeping eye contact. You nod quickly and begin to move your hips even faster. 

“Yes I am!” 

"Shit, fuck! You are so fucking tight, Y/N!” He says, feeling like he’s in pure heaven. You grip his shoulders and stop moving for a moment to get on your feet in a squatting position, his cock still buried inside you. You’re so wet as you bounce again harder than before and he reaches his hand to your chest, squeezing your tits. His thumbs rub your nipples adding another sensation of pleasure. He can feel your cunt tightening around his cock, you’re going to cum soon. 

“Yes, yes, yes! Right there! I’m going to cum!” You moan out to him, riding him as quickly as you can.

“Be a good little slut and cum all over my cock!” He orders you and the way he talks to you in such a filthy way turns you on so much. The way you moan when you orgasm and the sounds your cunt makes from how wet it is let’s him know you’ve reached your climax. In a state of pure bliss you nearly lose your balance and Adam helps you get back on your knees. He wraps his arms around you and moves your bodies, lying you down on the bed with him on top of you, still inside you. He supports himself on his knees and grips your thighs, snapping his hips in a quick pace. “You’re such a good little slut for me.”

“Adam, Adam, Adam…” You moan, clawing into the sheets beneath you. This makes him pound you faster and harder, getting himself closer to his own release. You’re moaning so much now that it’s become incoherent, a mixture of jumped words and sounds of pleasure. 

“I’m going to cum.” He says, looking at your eyes. 

“Where do you want to cum?” 

"All over your perfect tits.” He growls. 

“Please cum all over my tits.” You moan, licking your lips and seeing him stare at your tongue while you do it. He stops moving his hips, pulls out of you and kneels next to you, aiming at your chest as he pumps his cock with his hand. He spills out and covers your breasts with his hot sticky cum and you watch his face the entire time he does it. You love knowing that you’re the one who makes him make those kinds of expressions when he cums, that you’re the one who makes him moan like that. He collapses next to you, both of your chests heaving. 

“You’re incredible.” He says to you, making you get that fuzzy and cozy feeling in your chest. 

“So are you.” You reach for his hand and hold it, turning your head to look at his eyes. 

After both of you had a shower, Adam stayed the night and spent the rest of the evening with you. He had to go home sort of early in the morning to prepare for a theater event he had to attend later that day but told you he would call you soon. It wasn’t fun to say goodbye to him, although you knew you simply must. You look forward to seeing him again and perhaps pursuing a relationship with him. Will he be interested in that? You don’t know yet. You can only patiently wait for the next time you’ll get a chance to talk to or see him. 

Hopefully it won’t be too long. 

#girls #girls hbo #girls fanfiction #girls hbo fanfiction #adam sackler #adam sackler x reader #adam driver x reader #adam driver smut #adam sackler smut #fic: strange magic

[pavlikovskaya]

the secret history live blogged

forever mad that i got spoilered so much on this book.

anyway hello! and welcome to this … shit fest of the secret history by donna tartt aka the biggest letdown of my life

enjoy! i didn’t

ok whaatttt the fuck. he was walked over?? he was packed and squished under ice?? WHAT DID THIS BUNNY GUY DO TO MAKE Y’ALL SO MAD????? istg what the fuck. cruel cruel fate

four against one, i knew y’all were assholes. you sounded like assholes before i even knew what your names were.

i have to say, i’m not a very big fan on the beginning: hello, my name is richard, i am 28, this is my story. makes it sound like he’s in an AA meeting, but i’ll let this one slide.

years at home dispensable like a plastic cup? fictional history and upbringing tales? [*clears throat in relatable*]

my father was mean, my house ugly, my mum didn’t give me attention, must kill someone to cope and serve the aesthetic™ of rejected, unloved child, brooding and mad at the world. got it.

if richard, plain and poor is the one who kills the rich asshole bc he’s a rich asshole, i might relate to him more than i thought.

[*slams book shut*] okay. okay. am i gonna have to google every other phrase in this godforsaken history book or is donna gonna go easy on my ass?

sounds like a university i would love to go to. oh, pardon me, CoLlEgE.

wait, they’d pay him back for the plane if he GOT IN??? and if he didn’t well then what, soz dude, tough luck , such is life, see ya never? makes a lot of sense. should pay him back regardless imo but hey, i had to pay £50 six times to audition at universities who, all six times, rejected me, so.

three days on a bus and arrival at six in the morning? i cannot fathom a worse scenario.

this prof conducts his selection on a personal level rather than on an academic one, said with a note of sarcasm? is he … you know … ?

ahhhh these saucy saucy tea spilling french people, gotta love em. ‘listen, i know i’ve only met you three minutes ago, but i’m bout to spill some serious tea which i must ask you to keep to yourself and never mention for i have some formidable enemies in the literature division, yes, my very own department, but we all actually love each other. you know, in a very shakespearian ‘i shall murder you at the end of the play but for now, let’s make sweet love under the stars as a witch friend of mine who will later murder you watches’ way. all very platonic. but don’t say a word of it.’

who do you think was with morrow when richard came to see him in the lyceum and what were they talking about? GODDAMN IT, this french bastard put me in a gossipy mood.

bunny — short for edmund…….

god, i love a redhead.

richard and me being whipped by francis and his long, flapping black coats, love to see it.

‘pseudo-intellects and teenage decadents abounded and black clouting was de rigueur’ can I enrol ~now~????

francis talks to cats and bunny yells from his window down at the incest twins to stop snogging in the garden. i can’t wait to see which one am I at the end of the book

henry and julian driving off together? do i smell something…. gay?

THEY WRITE WITH FOUNTAIN PENS????? [*flashbacks from my childhood intensify*].

i do not understand most of these references or sentences and if the whole book is like this, i will throw myself out the window in attempted suicide even though i live on the ground floor.

i have absolutely no idea what they’re on about.

hwhat

francis in black cashmere and cigarette smoke brushed past him and almost touched his arm. how bloody delicious is this??

‘give him some flowers and he’ll enrol you.’ ok, julian is definitely the gay prof everyone falls for.

at this stage, i would rater have voted we kill henry, not bunny, but we’ll see.

‘i was tired of being poor.’ [*buys a tie with pictures of men hunting deer on it*] ‘that’s better.’

‘i believe that it is better to know one book intimately than a hundred superficially.’ donna tartt gave me the book and the reason both.

constantly chuckling at the way richard is so completely mesmerised and intimidated by francis to the point that he’ll duck into a doorway to let him pass even though they’re going to the same lesson.

I don’t know how a ‘bostonian voice’ is supposed to sound like so francis will be slightly british in my mind for the rest of the book.

cubitum eamus? cubitum. eamus? CUBITUM?? EAMUS????? OH! GOD! HELP ME! THE SWEET SWEET HOMOEROTIC FORESHADOWING OF IT ALL!!! throwback to when, in a much too similar vein, boris, upon being asked by theo to say something in russian for him, he said ‘fuck you up the ass’. my heart is racing with yearn. i can’t fucking believe i just read this. it’s time to bust out the annotation tabs again.

oh my gooooddd whAt is henry’s problem????? he reminds me slightly of number one from the umbrella academy, but in a meaner, more show-offy, bastardish way that’s supposed to showcase his superior intelligence over all mortals like fuck you, go read harry potter and chill.

‘meke (s.p.) you Wear it’? i take it meke is actually make but what on earth is (s.p.)? google gave me 238 possible definitions for that acronym and, needless to say, i didn’t bother.

i love how donna’s main characters are funny essentially bc they’re bitches towards other people they deem inferior to them in their internal monologues.

if you were drunk and ‘slam-dancing’ at a party, i don’t have to be stuck up or elitist to judge you and hate on you. even less so if you throw your beer in my face.

‘love that jacket, silk, isn’t it?’ ‘yep, my grandfather’s. totally not from that annoying girl in my dorm whose mate your mates beat up at a party last term for shoving camilla and throwing a beer in her face and who probably only gave me the jacket because she wants to fuck me, nope.’

‘let me get that door for you.’ that’s it, that’s the tweet.

when bunny said they should round up the ‘officious fags and burn them at the stake’ i yelled the loudest what the fuck i’ve ever yelled at a book. i can see now why they killed him. and i bet that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

okay, his true colours are starting to show. it’s even more unnerving when i think about the fact that like half of this stuff is supposed to be true.

called it, they’re boning.

i can’t wait until francis locks lips with richard. i am simply tingling for it. i hope he and camilla have a threesome with richard at this country house. oh wait no, they’re all here. eh, maybe another time.

oh, we finally get some juicy inside gossip

if francis and richard don’t fuck in that gorgeous immense library, i will riot.

okay, what’s henry’s deal? he’s nice now? and he’s oddly … interested in/caring towards richard? like who the fuck says ‘i hope you slept well’ without at least a little affection towards them.

AHAHAHAAHA, NOW I GET ALL THOSE MOON LANDING QUESTIONS ON THE TSH RELATED UQIZZES I STUPIDLY TOOK. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL. imagine them lot in present day completely bewildered and confused at the fact that the whole world is in lockdown for some weird fucking reason. this is the funniest shit ever, swear to god.

dogs get heart attacks?

wow they’re being dicks. that shady shit they’re doing’s so fucking rude aajksdhfkfh and to think i had initially thought richard was the ‘leader’ of their group...

okay, they’re either all into bdsm or they’re some odd breed of late vampires who don’t have much of the traits/qualities of ‘classic’ vampires as they have possibly diminished over the centuries as the species was becoming extinct. maybe witches. hm. or occultists. I REALLY DON’T KNOW!!

richard be like ‘what should I tell you?’ well—and this is merely a suggestion—, how about you start with what they’re actually doing when they’re not hanging out with you?????

i can’t wait for bunny to figure/find out richard’s not actually rich and be a dick about it.

two months??? what kind of bonkers winter vacation between terms is that???

is being constantly cold part of the dark academia aestehtic? cos it certainly seems to be.

what the fuck are these (sp)s bunny keeps putting in his letters??

i hope somebody (henry, or maybe francis? as something that would bring them together?) is fake rich too.

ouuuuu here comes the dark, mental stuff.

richard dropped out of drama to study the classics. if we were villains is a group of people studying shakespeare. coincidence? i think not. it is with dread that i think at the possibility that i might like the other more because so far, i can’t say i’m heavily impressed with tsh.

now i’m all for weird, fancy names, but marchbanks is really an odd one. who the fuck looks at their newborn baby and goes ben? nah. tom? no. MARCHBANKS! perfect.

henry winter saves richard from a piping cold winter. ah, don’t bother, i’ll do it myself [*jumps out the window*]

henry dislikes electric lights? smokes cigarettes without filter? reads milton translated into latin ‘just to see if a language with no noun cases could possibly support the structural order he attempts to impose’? can this dude be any more pretentious?

BUNNY! IT’S BUNNY! HE’S FAKE RICH THE BASTARD! ALL THAT ‘oops, forgot my wallet’ BULLSHIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS A TEST FOR RICHARD OR JUST RICH PEOPLE LEECHING OFF OTHERS (why spend yours when you can spend theirs?) BUT NOOOO, HE’S BROOOOKE! AND AN ASSHOLE! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!! serves him right, the asshole (that gay people being burnt at the stake comment really bothered me despite the fact that i laughed). and not only is he broke and leeching off of henry, he leeches in the most shameless, greedy, extravagant and ignorant way, ordering the most expensive thing on the menu fuck out of here.

ha! he got fat the bastard. found some sugar daddy to sustain you during your last month in italy or what?

this rabbit dude sure has some big balls for a broke ass bitch.

‘let me see your head wound.’ vs ‘your arm.’

‘that sort of tension which i, being rather more disinclined that way than not, am quick to pick up on. i had caught a strong breath of it from francis, a whiff of it at times from julian (…)’ sounds like we got another one boys, a straight dude with the best gaydar in the world. that being said, julian is the fakest bitch in the book so far.

this secrecy is killing the ever-loving shit out of me. argentina one way?? whY

lol if you’re gonna steal his book with the intention of having him come back to the apartment and see all that shit, at least don’t put it in such an obvious place where he couldn’t have possibly missed it. for such a smart guy, you sure are dumb, dude.

francis’ mother be like ‘give that bad boy a kiss from me’ and i’m like HE BETTER.

richard the worst liar. just say your mum called for fuck’s sake! you could get your boyfriend in trouble!

cheesecake cover: ‘please do not steal this, i am on financial aid.’ bunny: [*steals it*] the cheesecake: [*sucks*] me: serves you fucking right, pig.

THINKING ABOUT HIS HANDICAP. I’M YELLING. funniest thing donna tartt ever wrote.

i bet they’re all there sat at the table like nothing happened and weren’t supposed to leave anywhere at all.

called it! motherfuckers.

what the hell is going on. are they a gang of assassins or something?

richard: ‘you killed somebody, didn’t you?’ henry: [*laughs as if it was the most ridiculous idea in the world and how could you possibly suggest such a thing*] yep

bunny: gays are weirdly obsessed with food, don’t you think? also bunny: [*gets excluded from the bacchanal because he couldn’t stop eating*]

okay. i can see now why this book started the whole dark academia aesthetic

aight, that’s all good and great (far from it) but WHERE IS MY FRANCIS CONTENT????

going through the motions of hating and liking henry every other chapter.

everybody: [*burning clothes, cleaning the car, running this way and that to get rid of evidence*] francis: aight y’all imma take a power nap real quick cool? cool

there is hardly anything in the world i hate more than loose-of-tongues. bunny and that bitch ass hely from the little friend. god, i want to sock each and every single one of them in their stupid bloody loud mouths.

i want to know, i really want to know if there are any bunny apologists or … s…. s… [*grits teeth*] stans out there. don’t worry, nothing will happen to you, i just wanna talk.

if it’s henry and richard and not francis and richard,,,,, i will riot.

boy this henry guy smokes a lot…. more than me in my prime.

as if this dude reenacted the murder he wasn’t even present at in the lobby of a hotel just to torture henry. i can’t believe this character is still alive and has been for so long.

FINALLY! one francis moment that indicated there will be no more francis moments…. .

funny that, reading the secret history put something into perspective about the goldfinch for me.

i love how richard just casually throws it in there whenever he happens to mention camilla that he loves her and wants to kiss her and that she’s so beautiful and blah blah blah and then it’s never brought up again ever because he’s constantly going on and on about henry.

wait, don’t tell me it’s happening now, in the middle of the book! that would be most unexpected as there’s a whole entire book following.

henry is such a stone cold bitch, i wonder where they put his heart when they made him, in his ass?

don’t tell me henry went boxer dogs on JULIAN?!?!?! he wouldn’t. … would he?

i don’t know. i get it, obviously, the gravity of the situation, but going as far as killing him to silence him is a bit … extreme in my opinion.

thank you, charles, for being the only voice of reason in this madness.

okay, i understand it’s in richard’s best interest not to be involved, but they called him there to what, make him listen to all this and then send him on his merry way?

charles: well, if you wake up intending to murder someone at two o’clock, you hardly think of what you’re going to feed the copse for dinner. [*crickets*] francis: hey, how about asparagus?

henry: someone’s coming. quick! act normal! richard: [*turns to inspect the trunk of a tree*] [*footsteps approach*] richard: [*inspection of tree intensifies!!*]

you’re a bit late, bunny, just saying.

and now what the fuck is the rest of the book about? what do we do, let’s run, let’s stay, let’s go to the police, what do we do with him?

i love how richard describes himself as part of the process: we dwelt on it, we convinced ourselves, we devised plans when in reality, he was only there as an attaché, he wasn’t included much, almost at all in the actual planning process of it other than to give his insight on the poison route because henry thought it was his area of expertise so to speak when, really, it wasn’t and then was told about the other plan because they simply thought he should know. even then henry tells him ‘you can go now, if you like’ because there wasn’t anything they sort of needed him for anymore since he wasn’t going to be there, he was just a pair of ears. i like to think he was there in hopes to maybe dissuade them, try to stop them, tell them how mad it is, tell them there’s another way, but he didn’t do much of that either (not that I think he would’ve succeeded anyway, had he tried, henry’s one stubborn motherfucker). he didn’t come up with shit, he wasn’t supposed to even be there, i think, much less contribute in any way. had bunny not told him about the bacchanal, richard would have probably found out about it after it was already done, he was only included for the fucks of it and yet, he talks as if he was right there in the room with them, brainstorming ideas how to kill him. and i get how it only comes from a sense of obvious guilt because he knew about it, he was there and didn’t do anything to stop it, but he’s by far not one to have agreed to the whole thing or condoned it in any way from what he’s told us in book one. he himself says in the very same paragraph that he only watched. he’s very much a dark academia nick carraway type of character and i hate it. because i like him. he deserves better.

i’m pretty sure that the reason that serial killer autobiography you picked up in an airport was bereft of details is because no publishing house would allow such lurid specifications that might shock, disgust, enrage or give ideas to the reader in their book, not because the author is shy, richard, but ok, let’s move on. actually no, let’s not. you can’t expect the autobiography of a killer to only tell you about the murders, especially since in this particular instance, he was caught and went to prison. of course he’s going to tell you more about that than the killings, have you any idea what prison life is like? how much it eats away at your soul? how it crushes your spirit if you have one and how hard it is to get over? the time he spent in jail is going to haunt him forever and after such a long time in there, however long it was, you hardly think about your crime as anything but a huge mistake that was not worth the torment if you’re not a downright psychopath which, since he came out and wrote a book about it, doesn’t seem to be the case here but i guess you’ll find out all about it soon enough.

OH! a francis moment???? could this be it? please dear god may this be it.

it wasn’t, but there’s another one!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

‘it’s fun, i promise you.’ [*dies*]

if this is it, if that’s all, i am not forgiving this book.

‘i tried to pull him out but it was no good; his head lolled back uselessly’ YEAH. BECAUSE HE’S DEAD, RICHARD. [*scoffs*] ‘uselessly’

i wish i held any of my teachers and professors in at least half the high regard henry holds julian. i also wish they were half as competent and passionate about teaching as julian.

I DON’T BELIEVE ‘HE WAS JUST THERE’. IT’S BORIS AND THEO AT 6 AM IN THAT NEW YORK BAR ALL OVER AGAIN. HE’S ONLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE RICHARD WENT ALL ‘YOU’RE NOT HOT’ ON HIS ASS AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE. if they don’t kiss again—

i can’t help but admire the way they communicate sensitive information to each other in ancient greek, they sound like characters from jane austen novels while talking about drugs and saving face from tabloids and gossip, it’s rather amazing.

quite pointless to go through all that trouble to hide the cigarettes and deny having been smoking when the smell will be there no matter what and she’ll know for sure. i swear, all these seemingly smart ass people are actually idiots

my question is why would anyone, drunk or not, for any reason, leave the top down in the rain? why? what possible pleasure could one get from driving in the middle of the rain with rain actually pouring down on them?

isn’t linoleum a bit tacky for a house that looks like it’s been in architectural digest?

why is charles so on edge? why are they all always hiding??? camilla and her late night 3 am phone calls, her secret phone code with henry, charles mysteriously going out for cigarettes so brusquely without a word in the middle of the night and refusing to talk about it, what are they all always hiding?! nobody trusts one another with anything, it’s very annoying, to be honest. aren’t they supposed to be super best friends? you’d think that after a bacchanal and a double homicide, you wouldn’t keep secrets from one another, but i guess not.

ah, shame. was kind of hoping for some sneaky richard/francis basement action, but alas. what’s their ship name anyway, richis?

i just spoilered myself again, twice, by going through the tsh tag on tumblr and then looking for francis/richard fanfics on ao3 and finding out that francis marries? gets with? a girl who’s apparently called fucking priscilla. donna tartt really has a knack for weird fancy names, huh? i’m here for it tbh

richard you fucking snitch! you had one job!!!!!!

why the fuck are they still keeping him in the dark about shit? henry and charles quarrelled and charles is in jail and henry still won’t tell him what’s so bad about it and why he wants richard to handle all this shit instead of him and why bunny’s murder still matters and why why just why are they still using him as their pawn??

seriously, this exchange was about the worst they’ve had so far. he himself knows it: ‘there was a silence during which I felt acutely the hopelessness of ever trying to get to the bottom of anything with henry. he was like a propagandist, routinely withholding information, leaking it only when it served his purposes.’ THEN WALK AWAY. SAY NO. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. FUCKING—UGH!!!!!!!

they’re all so shamelessly using him… i can’t read. it’ll kill him, one way or another.

these ungrateful little shits i swear to god. richard bails him out, he’s all thankful and sweet when he wants him to do ‘this one little favour’ of taking him to his francis’ house so he can break in and when richard’s like i don’t have a car, he immediately turns sour and passive aggressive like you know what?! richard hasn’t slept all night and all morning waiting for your ass to go to court cos you were a drunken idiot and decided YET AGAIN that driving in that state is a great idea so he can bail you out and when you are finally out, you start being fussy and then it’s all ‘right. thanks a lot’??? richard doesn’t fucking need this shit! y’all are horrible friends. he’s not your bloody servant. how about you take that stick and privilege out of your asses and start treating him a bit more kindly, huh???

‘henry made me swear not to tell.’ WHAT. WHAT. BITCH, GET THE FUCK OUT.

this is by far the most toxic friendship i’ve ever heard of.

oh wow that kiss was hot. i thought it was just a speculation that they were incestuous with each other, but i-i guess not.

FINALLY it gets interesting. Mr Abernathy spilling some piping hot tea mmm

he literally just said i’d sleep with you if you got drunk enough to let me. oh dear god help me.

oh fuck it got sad. It’s patrick and brad all over again ugh always happens to the best of gays

finally richard my boy starts hating them, as he should. except francis, you’re a dick in that respect. he’s only joking for fuck’s sake, don’t get all butthurt, jesus. sensitive much?

uuuuuu tunts Tunts TUNTS! shit is hitting the fan. henry, henry, henry, our ‘golden boy’. nothing but a crook himself, the motherfucker. i’ve been waiting for this reveal since the beginning of the fucking book. if they gang up on him and kill him, i will never stop laughing.

it’s as if he’s begging to be excluded and hated, i swear. why is he being such a prick? does he love her? is that it? then there are a BILLION other ways to go about it, he doesn’t have to be such a shady bitch!! besides, wasn’t he in cahoots with julian?

‘i was depressed, i thought if i slept here it might make me feel better.’ that’s so precious tho….. funny, but precious. such child-like innocence in this grown ass intoxicated man, i melt.

clever, luring him out of the playground under the false pretext of a drink when he’s had plenty. think like a drunk

the only consistent, recurring and ever-present elements in donna tartt’s books are the hors d’oeuvres.

it’s so cute how charles needs him, i—

girls be like: watching a film, listening to a podcast, talking on the phone, having dinner, figure painting, filing nails, writing an essay and doing their makeup all at the same time

this so called love he feels for camilla is so unfounded and feeble and just … it seems so out of the fucking blue every single time he mentions it, i can’t read this shit. IT’S SO SEE-THROUGH!!

okay WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ. WHAT. THE ACTUAL. MOTHERFUCKING. FUCK. one second he’s ‘i love her so much’ the next he wants to strangle and rape her?????????????? i have zero goddamn words. i am fucking speechless. i don’t think i have ever been this confused at something since i watched the turning. i don’t think you realise quite how done i am with this fucking book at this point.

i think i do hate henry more than bunny and i’m afraid i’ll like if we were villains better.

richard: [*takes sleeping pills*] also richard: [*surprised he can’t keep up with the film he started watching after taking sleeping pills*]

‘look,’ said francis. ‘let’s just go, if we leave now we can be in montreal by dark. nobody will ever find us.’ vs ‘well, i’m not going,’ said boris serenely. ‘fuck that, i’m running away. do you want to come?’

this henry bitch is the most difficult piece of shit i’ve ever fucking encountered. ‘you mean, it’s something you need to tell me in private?’ oh FUCK OFF AND STEP OUTSIDE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. IT’S ONE THING I ASK OF YOU, YOU TWAT.

huh, i thought he was doing this shit on purpose, leaving the page face down on the table so that julian could see it, i thought it was some sick twisted plan of his.

lmao called it. everybody saw through julian’s façade except richard and the others and i completely understand. in a fashion much like julian’s, i think he knew that, he saw it, but just chose to ignore it because the image he posed and richard himself constructed of him in his mind was much more favourable to what he really was. i mean, fuck, who the fuck says ‘i hope we are all ready to leave the phenomenal world and enter into the sublime’ with their whole chest and mean it?

if you think he’s not coming, why sit in silence staring out the window, ignoring everyone and wasting everybody’s time instead of telling them from the very start this piece of information you have on hand that could save everybody a lot of trouble, time and overthinking? why be all mysterious and enigmatic about it? just tell them from the start, you’re not in a film for fuck’s sake……..

charles, one of the four of them (henry, camilla, julian and himself) might be the one i despise the least, almost like had he not been so brutal towards camilla,,,, but i don’t know if i can trust her, that whole scene seemed … staged somehow. i don’t know. i don’t know

didn’t expect henry would turn on julian too though. first real thing he’s done all book.

agatha

christie

writes

good

mysteries.

richard does seem like the type of fellow who would grow up in a household where his dad would strike his mum for no fucking reason.

okay so did henry punch him for that comment or not? what was all that father beating mother bit for?

#boysweekendinthecountry! 🤪 #partytime! #ignoringourproblems! #woooo!!!

oh my fucking god chARLES!!!

yes, henry, great, brilliant, fucking splendid idea to antagonise the man pointing a gun at you.

MY PAUL SMITH SHIRT!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHASFSHDGFDK

i love how absolutely nobody noticed fucking richard BLEEDING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM

‘expected everyone to stop and look at me. no one did.’ and they never will. that’s your whole friendship summed up in two lines. you don’t matter to them, you never did, you’re absolutely unimportant. just a tool, a pawn, a nobody. sorry you had to get shot to realise that.

‘’he shot me.’ somehow, this remark did not elicit the dramatic response i expected. before i had the chance to elaborate—’ ELABORATE WHAT? ELABORATE WHAT?! THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO SAY!! GOD, this hurts to read. this angers me beyond words, but it also fucking hurts so bad…

nothing, not even getting shot can make richard lose his wit

disGUSTING henry and camilla moment. I HATE THEM

oh shit. did not see that coming. well, glad that’s over.

ugh, time to read how francis got hetero married :\

[*chokes*] DUE TO THE VERY EXCELLENT EXCUSE OF HAVING A GUNSHOT WOUND IN THE STOMACH I DIDN’T TAKE MY FRENCH EXAM YAY!!! god, i fucking love Richard.

the thing is, right, i read that line, ‘i managed to get out of taking my french exams the next week’ about three or four times and somehow, the following line or even the words ‘gunshot wound’ never made it to my eyes! i don’t understand how! but i’m completely happy about that given the fact that i spoiler myself on every single book i read by reading ahead like an idiot..

how much do you want to bet that it was the inn keep who called the ambulance and not those fuckers? because of course henry, dead henry’s more important than slowly dying, almost dead but not quite richard.

despite everything, it sounds like he had a nice summer in brooklyn. good for him. god knows he deserved it, the poor guy.

yeah no, fuck henry’s post-mortem hero narrrative.

lol, at least he got a nice car out of it. this book shows me once again that things happen just the way they should happen.

OH MY FUCKING GOD NO. NO. NO. NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT READ. I DO NOT SEE. I REFUSE TO COMPREHEND THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION.

i will not say a WORD on this, much less his letter. i am hurt, i am wounded, i am grieving, my head is full of thots and i cannot speak. i died on this bed.

ugh [*rolls eyes*] this fucking guy again with his sudden, out of my ass declarations of love towards camilla. JUST GIVE IT UP ALREADYYYYYYYY!!! TELL IT TO SOMEONE WHO CARES!!! (francis) i wouldn’t be surprised if she was married or engaged and just didn’t bother to mention it ‘because he never asked’ or some bullshit excuse like that.

I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY [*deep breath*] I FUCKING HATE HENRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s telling me about all these people and where they ended up after graduation but not only do i not give a single solitary fuck, i actually don’t know who the fuck he’s talking about?? like who the fuck is bram guernesnesnica? rooney wayne? what the fuck do i care what jack jud and frank did?

the only people i do remotely care about are the professors (the saucy french teacher and the boring, senile dude who wouldn’t shut up and who kept referring to richard as ‘jerry’ in his grad school recommendations letter ahahah that is the content i signed up for, not dumb and dumber’s bar or whatever) and the cat charles left at francis’ country house who lives in a ten fucking room apartment in boston.

love how ionic the whole marion storyline turned out to be. marred another corcoran who looked just like bunny and had a daughter who, despite having her and his mother’s name ended up being nicknamed also bunny. i’m sorry, i just—i have to laugh.

[*slams fists on the table*] THE AGENTS??? YOU’RE GONNA TELL ME ABOUT THE BLOODY FBI AGENTS???!!!!!! CAN THIS BOOK PLEASE JUST FUCKING END ALREADY??????!!!!!!!!

a dream. a dream. if it’s a dream of henry i will personally shoot you and make sure i aim a little higher than your abdomen this time.

[*shoots the book*]

oh, you died and suddenly you have a sense of humour?

‘that information is classified’ [*shoots a torpedo at the book*]

‘are you happy?’ / ‘not very.’ vs ‘are you happy here?’ / ‘not particularly.’

okay. so. final thoughts: fuck this book.

good night

#jaden reads tsh #and probably never will again #my expectations were too high i think that's my problem #but even so this book was a whole ass mess #i WANTED to like it #i wanted to like it so bad!!!! #but i'm sorry no #it's just not happening #jaden talks shit #tsh #the secret history #donna tartt #long post #not tgf #richard papen #francis abernathy #charles macaulay #camilla macaulay #bunny corcoran #henry winter

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Kissing Dead Pearls (Part 25)

She is holding him so tightly, clinging to him as though he were going to disappear right from the hospital bed. This is how he knows that something is wrong. That she is going to say or do something that he won’t like. Even after so long, he knows her mannerisms. She always gets more loving and cuddly before doing something that she knows will leave him absolutely reeling and seething. He has been gone for so long that he isn’t sure what that that thing could possibly be. Or maybe it is that he simply doesn’t want to dwell on it much because he knows that he will find the answer.

Instead he tells her not to hold so tightly. She seems to remember the sores and loosens her hold. Granted she isn’t able to hold him as painfully tight as she could have, though her arms seems to be healing rather smoothly. She insists that it isn’t really a big deal.

“So…” he trails off. “I imagine that you have a few stories for me?” He inquires.

“Many of them.” She replies.

She opens her mouth to share them, but the doctors come to check up on him. Azula moves to let them tinker with the setting on his feeding tube, before ultimately deciding to take him off of it.

He waits until after they leave to inquire once more. “Well why don’t you start from the beginning?”

She thinks for a moment. “After you left, father’s drinking problem got worse.” After a brief pause, she adds, “unrelated to your disappearance. It had been steadily getting worse.”

Sokka furrows his brows. “He seems fine now.”

Azula nods. “AA.”

“And that’s going well?”

“There isn’t much access to alcohol on a boat…” she trails off and he thinks that he knows what she is thinking. “I don’t think that he has bought any on this island.”

“I didn’t seem like he did when he came to visit.” Sokka smiles.

.oOo.

That smile coaxes her forward, but delicate flutters still remain in her belly as she tries to find a way to continue. She doesn’t really care to discuss this matter. It isn’t something that she likes to think about if she can help it.

“You don’t have to share everything.” Sokka says.

“I would like to.” She takes a moment before continuing. “After father’s drinking problem started getting worse he started getting...harder to deal with. Everything was…” she finds herself at something of a loss. Since words seem to be failing her, she simply tilts her head so that he can see the scar.

His brows crinkle. “When did you get that?” She lets him trace his frail fingers over it.

“When I...jumped.”

“You didn’t...it wasn’t on purpose, was it?”

She swallows, “it was.”

She watches him rub his hands over his face, run his fingers through his hairline.

“I shouldn’t have left…” He mutters. “If I would have just stayed home…”

“Then you wouldn’t have gotten to have the adventure you wanted. That was your dream.” She replies.

“And look at the nightmare that it turned out to be.”

She shrugs. “You say that as if you aren’t going to make awful jokes about it and share the story at every party you get invited to.” He laughs. She had missed that laugh so much. Even if she can only manage a half smile at the moment. “Anyhow, I’m fine.”

He gives her a skeptical look.

“I have a therapist, though I haven’t seen her in a while.” She mentions, she isn’t sure if that makes him feel more or less comforted. “I also have Zuzu and your sister. And I started surfing again.”

“You stopped?”

She nearly flinches, recalling that she’d been practicing every day prior to losing him. “For a while, yes. I had to manage the lighthouse.” It isn’t a lie, not entirely. “Father started neglecting it for the bar so Zuzu and I had to do it ourselves.”

“Geez.” He grumbles. “I think I’d take another month out at sea over that.”

If he weren’t so covered in raw blisters, she’d have slapped him. “I don’t think that you mean that.”

“How did Kat hold up?” He asks. “I know she told me that she was fine and that our parents are fine. But I need the truth.”

“I think that Katara handled things better than I did.” She admits with a degree of resentment at having to admit that she wasn’t the best at something. “And your parents helped Zuzu and I a lot when father got particularly bad.” Another thought suddenly crosses her mind, she doesn’t want to leave him with any surprises. Not bad ones anyhow. “Speaking of your parents helping us. We returned the favor; there was a hurricane and it damaged the restaurant.”

Again Sokka rubs his face and begins to speak.

“Let me finish.” She rolls her eyes. “We were able to fix it up, but I thought that you’d like to know.”

“Thanks for the heads up.” He laughs.

She takes a deep breath and hopes that he will appreciate the heads up that she is about to give him. She fidgets for a tense moment before finally saying, “those are the few most important things. But there’s something else.”

“Is it more or less disastrous than you jumping off of a cliff?”

“I guess that depends on what kind of disaster you have in mind.”

“Katara already told me about her near death experience.”

“I figured as much. This is something else.”

“Please just say it, Azula. You always do.”

She can see in his eyes that he already knows what is coming, so she might as well put an end to her stalling. “It’s Jet.”

Sokka crinkles his nose. “Him? Really?” He brings his hands to his face a third time, but this time he simply holds them there. “So what does that mean for us?”

“Nothing.” She realizes how dreadfully poor her word choice is at the choking noise he makes. “Nothing changes, I mean.” There is a slight shake to her voice that betrays her nerves. “I told Jet before we left that the whole point of this trip was to find you.”

“I bet he tagged along because he was sure that I died.”

She says nothing. Another mistake; bitter laughter fills the hospital room, overtaking the rhythmic beeping of his heart monitor. She wonders if it can detect heartbreak. “I guess the world did forget about me, huh? For a second I thought that…”

“It would just be the same as how you left it?” She fills in quietly. “We didn’t forget about you. We just...I couldn’t be alone.” She doesn’t think that the knots in her stomach can pull any tighter. She thinks that her face might be lightly flushed. She doesn’t like talking so deeply about her feelings. And she feels just as guilty for feeling so discomforted as she does for having moved on so soon. She should have waited until after the trip to give Jet a try.

She can tell that he is resentful. She considers that she may have made the wrong call in breaking it off with Jet. Perhaps she was meant to find someone else. She likes to think herself clever, but she can’t fathom why the universe would grant Sokka back to her if things would only end unhappily. Azula can see the bitterness in his eyes.

She stands up. “I’ll leave you with time to think about things.”

.oOo.

His hospital room is empty before he can say anything at all. He gives an exasperated groan and slams his fist into the mattress. A burning sensation flares up his arm and he curses loudly. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. His anger hadn’t even been directed at her. She just so happened to be the only one there to receive his frustrated outburst. Really it could have been anyone; Zuko, Katara, or Jet himself. He could only hide behind jokes and smiles for so long.

He had lashed out and now he is going to pay the price. And it occurs to him--if he could get up and anxiously pace, he would--that she might take herself to the cliffs again. He tells himself that she has Jet so she will be fine.

She has Jet so he, himself won’t be fine. It is both reassuring and sickening to imagine her seeking Jet out for comfort.

And what if she doesn’t visit again? What if she only sends Zuko or his sister? He wants to take back that resentful laugh. That grudging remark. He was scared. He is scared. Anxious and in pain and he doesn’t know how the hell he is going to get on another boat. Doesn’t know how he is going to find it in him to readjust to life on the mainland.

He just knows that he doesn’t want to do it alone. Of course, Azula had tried to move on. She didn’t want to do it alone. She said as much. She shouldn’t have had to do it alone. He shouldn’t have to do it alone.

But his hospital room is empty a half an hour before visiting hours are over.

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Sokka #Sokkla #Fanfiction

[walkerismychoice]

When I Taste Tequila

Book: The Elementalists

Pairing: Beckett X MC (Zoe Flynn)

Rating: PG-13 with some mature language and themes

A/N: This is an alternate universe fic request by @indubitablywrong. I’m purposely not revealing what the a/u is until the end to not give too much away

Tag List:  @tabithacarlisle @thatspicegirlssong @darley1101 @flyawayboo @drakewalkerfantasy @flowerpowell @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @jimmypagesandbrianmayshair @tmarie82 @choiceswreckedme @regina-and-happiness @blackcatkita @debramcg1106 @lizeboredom @boneandfur @llamasgrl

Word Count: 3139

“Okay, enough unpacking. We need to go out for drinks, right now.” Atlas insisted.

“But I start my internship early in the morning.” Zoe protested. “I’m not sure going out is such a good idea. Since when do you like being around people anyway? I think there are still a few beers in the fridge if you want.”

“No.” Atlas turned Zoe around and pushed her towards her bedroom. “We haven’t seen anything outside of these four walls the past two days, and I’m going back to Boston in the morning. Go get dressed, and let’s go!”

New Brunswick, NJ was not the most glamorous city for a new college graduate, but it was home to a prestigious chemical engineering internship program at one of the top pharmaceutical companies in the country. If it ended up working out, and she got a job there making real money, she could always move to the city and commute, but for now a modest apartment near work would have to do. Thankfully Zoe’s interviewers had mentioned a trendier establishment they often frequented so she an Atlas wouldn’t have to chance ending up in some crappy dive bar. Still, she figured the typical attire would be somewhat casual, so she went for her standard favorite skinny jeans and black crop top that always made her feel good about her appearance. She took down her messy bun and her brunette hair miraculously fell in uniform waves past her shoulders like she had purposefully spent time doing it. She dabbed on some lip gloss, fixed up her eye makeup, and was good to go. Atlas, unsurprisingly, remained in her usual uniform of worn out jeans, t-shirt, and leather jacket. Her silvery bob was the only feature that distinguished her from her from her identical twin, Zoe. Well, that and the almost constant resting bitch face Atlas wore. 

Heads turned as they walked into the moderately crowded bar as the patrons surveyed the newcomers, but everyone seemed to quickly lose interest and get back to their conversations. Zoe and Atlas found a small table in the corner where they sat and perused the drink menu. The decor was as expected - clean lines, dark wood, and pendant lights, and thankfully it didn’t reek like old cigarette smoke. Vintage beer signs were hung neatly across all the walls. The music was upbeat and good for dancing, but not so loud you had to yell to hear one another. 

Zoe and Atlas both ordered mojitos and nursed their drinks as the analyzed the other customers in the bar. People watching was one of their favorite past times.

"Those two," Atlas nodded towards a couple probably in their late twenties a few tables away, "....definitely on their first date."

“Judging from the overdone makeup on her and the amount of product in his hair, I’d say the same.” Zoe agreed.

“Plus her awkward fidgeting every time there’s a pause in the conversation...” Atlas added. “Ooh, and that group all seems pretty tight, except that overly stuffy one. He seems like he doesn’t want to be here.”

Zoe scanned the group of ten or so people in the adjacent corner and immediately picked out who Atlas was talking about. It was a guy about her age, maybe a couple years older. He was wearing dark gray dress pants, a medium blue dress shirt and a matching patterned tie, while the rest of the group was a mix of business casual and blue jeans. His chestnut hair was perfectly coiffed like it wouldn’t have moved if a hurricane rolled through, and he almost certainly smelled heavily of cologne. She could just tell. “He’s kind of hot but takes himself way too seriously. I’m guessing a group of coworkers out for happy hour and he got dragged along. He’s the dress for the job you want, not the one you have type. I bet he annoys the fuck out of everyone else.” Zoe took another sip of her drink and looked to Atlas waiting for her final analysis.

“I bet he’s also type who likes attractive brunettes with wavy hair and brown eyes.” Atlas replied with a smirk.

“What?” Zoe scrunched her face in confusion and glanced over catching his gaze briefly before he averted his eyes. 

“He was totally checking you out.” Atlas chuckled.

Zoe shook her head. “He’s probably just staring off wishing he was anywhere else but here.”

“Fine. Let’s test this out. Go up to the bar and order a drink and see if he walks up next to you,” Atlas encouraged. 

“What is this?” Zoe scoffed. “You trying to play matchmaker or something? I’ll go just to prove you wrong.” Zoe marched up to the bar and sat down, ordering another mojito, but only for herself. Atlas could order her own for putting Zoe up to this. The bartender finished making the cocktail and set it down, but the stool next to Zoe was still empty. She picked up glass and was about to go back to Atlas and declare victory, when she saw a figure out of the corner of her left eye. She inconspicuously turned her head, and sure enough it was him. Zoe looked back to her sister who was smiling smugly. Well at this point Zoe should stay a minute longer. Maybe it was just a coincidence and he needed a drink. Atlas could still be wrong.

The guy caught the bartender’s attention. “I’ll just have a water please.”

A water? Okay there’s no way he came up to the bar while I’m sitting her just because he needed a water. She hated being wrong when Atlas was right enough not to worry about what she was going to do now that this pretentious looking guy was potentially trying to make a move on her. She had to admit that he was even better looking up close, and although she was totally right about the cologne, she actually liked the smell. She grasped the cup in her hands and stared into it, waiting to see what would happen next, but nothing happened. They both sat in silence as what felt like an eternity passed but was probably only a couple minutes. Zoe finally gave in and swiveled her barstool in his direction. “So are we going to sit in silence, or are you going to introduce yourself to me?”

“Wha-” It was difficult to tell in the dim light, but she thought she may have seen the tips of his ears turn red. “Oh, um, hello. I’m Beckett.” he extended a hand to her.

She was taken aback by his formality, but she went with it, shaking his hand and echoing his tone. “Hello Beckett, I’m Zoe.”

“Pleased to meet you, Zoe. So...uh,do you frequent this establishment?”

Zoe groaned internally. It was like he was reading out of a book of bad pick-up lines, but in his own geeky language. For as self-assured as he appeared from afar, he was nothing like that in front of her now. She couldn’t decide if his awkwardness was cute or just weird. “Is that supposed to be you hitting on me? You are going to have to do better than that.”

“I wasn’t-” Beckett sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t normally do this as you can probably tell.”

“And what exactly are you doing?” Zoe bit back a smile. She never typically felt like she had the upper hand with hot guys like him, so she was enjoying watching him squirm.

“Well, your smile captivated me from across the room and I thought you might be someone I’d like to get to know a bit better,” Beckett admitted.

“Huh,” Zoe tilted her head to the side trying to figure him out, but she also felt a bit of warmth rush to her cheeks. “You are a different one Beckett. Most guys would just say they thought I was cute or they liked my ass.”

This time there was a definite blush across his entire face before he cleared his throat. “Not to sound cliche, but I’m not like most guys.” 

Coming from anyone else, Zoe might think this was another line, but she could sense Beckett was clearly unique, and she couldn't help but be intrigued by him. Still, that didn't mean she was going to go easy on him, "That's what they all say," she teased, but then she when she saw his expression of self-doubt she took pity on him. "I was just messing around, Beckett. For the record, I think your smile is captivating as well. You should show it more often." He seemed genuinely pleased by the compliment, but still a bit stiff and uncomfortable. "That's it, no more water for you." She flagged down the bartender again. "Two - no make that four shots of tequila with some extra salt and limes on the side."

"Zoe, that's quite alright. I'm good with water," Beckett insisted.

Zoe eyed him discerningly. "You aren't in AA or anything are you?"

"No, I drink occasionally, but it's work night and I have to get up at five am for my daily yoga meditation-" he paused and exhaled loudly. "Okay, I see that look on your face. At least let me pay."

She wanted to protest, but who was she kidding? She was broke and was going to be working for peanuts at her internship. From the looks of his apparel, Beckett could most certainly afford it. "Don't think this means I'm going to put out for you though."

Beckett's eyes went wide. "That's not why I off-" He chuckled. "You are teasing me again aren't you?" He picked up a shot glass and handed it to her. Her fingers brushed his in the exchange, maybe intentionally, but he also held on a moment longer than necessary. He raised his own glass and locked his steely gray eyes on hers.

Zoe felt a spark of electricity between them and her heart started to flutter. "Cheers!" She swiftly picked up her shot to break the tension, licked the salt off, and clinked it against his, the liquid burning her throat as she poured it down. She bit down on her lime wedge to cut the taste, and Beckett did the same. He looked a little bit adorable as he scrunched his nose and puckered his lips at the mix of sour and bitter flavors. "Not much of a tequila drinker are you?" 

Beckett shook his head. “No, I usually stick with wine, maybe an occasional scotch.”

“Yeah, I’m typically a wine or beer girl myself,” Zoe admitted. “I don’t really go for hard liquor unless it’s in a fruity drink.”

“Then why are we doing shots of tequila?” Beckett inquired with a hint of judgement in his tone. “Did you assume that’s what I would like?”

“Nope. You just seemed like you could stand to let loosen up a bit,” she replied. 

“That probably could have also been achieved with drinks we actually like to drink.”

Zoe was starting to lose her courage for the next part now that she realized she might actually be into this guy. It was more than just a game now, but she decided to go for it anyway. She didn’t care if it was a cheesy party trick that should have been left behind in college. “Maybe, but drinking tequila shots can be a whole lot more fun than drinking other drinks. Have you ever done body shots?”

“What? No!” Beckett looked at her like she had two heads. “I thought people only did that in movies.”

Zoe chuckled. “See, this is exactly why I’m suggesting it. I can tell there are likely many youthful indiscretions you missed out on, but it's not too late. You’re what, twenty three?”

“Twenty Four. I think the window has passed.” He tried and failed to keep a straight face.

“I knew you wouldn’t pass up the chance to lick salt off of me. I’ll go first. Where do you want my mouth?”  

“I...uh...” Zoe took slight satisfaction in the fact that the blushing, bumbling Beckett was back. “Why don’t you pick?”

“Alright then.” Zoe loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons on his dress shirt, and his breath quickened. “Can’t go wrong here.” She poured a small amount of salt in the dip of his collarbone and stuck a lime wedge in his mouth. Beckett stilled as if bracing himself for what was to come. Her mouth descended on him and she suctioned her lips to his skin almost hard enough to leave a mark as she licked him clean, only letting go after a soft whimper escaped his throat. Objective number one completed. She threw back the tequila without tasting it and then carefully bit into the flesh of the lime, avoiding any contact between their lips. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to kiss him. She wanted to very much, but she was leaving that up to him. She pulled back and let the lime drop into her shot glass. “You survived. Congratulations!”

“That actually wasn’t terrible.” Zoe assumed in Beckett terms that meant somewhere near spectacular.  “I suppose I should take my turn now. Not that I want to be unoriginal, but the collarbone really is the optimal location to place the salt. May I?”

She found his nerdy formality oddly sexy. “Please do.” She tilted her head to the side and pulled her hair away to grant him better access. She picked the lime out herself, choosing the smallest one to give better odds their lips would meet. Beckett lowered his head slowly and then gently traced his tongue over her salted skin sending a shiver down her spine. Although she enjoyed it, his timidness didn’t bode well for her second objective, but time would tell. Beckett drank his tequila, hesitated, and then slipped his hand behind her head, drawing her in closer to him. He didn’t even bother biting down on the lime, bypassing it completely to get to her lips. His were soft and warm, tasting of citrus and salt. They passed the lime back and forth with their tongues, Beckett breaking the kiss when he gained possession one last time, finally completing his task. 

He smiled confidently. “How did I do?”

Fucking amazing, Zoe thought but wouldn’t say that out loud. “Not bad, but a little more practice wouldn’t hurt. Should we order more?”

Beckett looked at his watch. “As fun as that was, it is getting late and I’ll barely get five hours of sleep as it is.”

“Shit!” Remembering she was there with her sister for the first time, Zoe looked back to their table but Atlas wasn’t there. She pulled her phone out of her purse and was relieved to see a text:

Got bored and went back to your place. You looked to be in capable hands😉 

“Everything okay?” Beckett asked with genuine concern.

“Yes, but you are right. It is late, I have to get up early too.”

“Let me walk you out.” Beckett stood and offered her a hand up. All the alcohol consumed seemed to hit her at once as she got to her feet and she stumbled. Beckett braced her arm and led her outside. 

Zoe was a little more drunk than she thought. Those mojitos must have been strong. Despite her better judgement, which was long out the window at this point, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Beckett just yet. She pulled him around the corner into an alleyway and pushed him up against the wall. She kissed him hard and he gave in without putting up much of a fight. She pressed her hips into him and could feel he was already hard. One night stands and public sex were not her style, but she wanted him so bad in that moment. She trailed her hands all the way down his chest and started to unbuckle his belt.

Beckett pushed her away suddenly. “What are you doing Zoe? I mean - it’s not that I don’t want that, but not like this. Not here when you’re probably not thinking clearly. I’ll order an Uber for you.”

Zoe was immediately much more sober and thoroughly embarrassed. “No really, don’t worry about it, I can walk. It’s not that far.”

“Please, I insist. What’s you address?” Beckett plugged the information into his phone and a car was there within minutes, but not a moment too soon to break their awkward silence. “Why don’t I come with and make sure you get inside okay?”

“That’s not necessary. I can take care of myself.” She huffed. She wasn’t upset with him, just mad at herself, but it probably didn’t come off that way. 

“At least give me your number so I can make sure you made it home.” Beckett pleaded.

“Beckett, let’s just forget about all of this. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” Before he could protest, she got into the car and locked the door. She wasn’t sure, but she may have seen Beckett slip the driver some extra cash. New Brunswick wasn’t a big city, but big enough that she hoped she wouldn’t have to run into him again.

~~~~~

Zoe walked into the building her first day hungover as fuck with a raging headache. She hoped she at least looked a little better than she felt. She was dressed the part, and her hair was clean at least. She prayed the smell of alcohol wasn’t still oozing out of her pores, but she was most definitely sober. 

“Zoe, Welcome!” She was greeted by the hiring manager Annette. “Here’s your name badge. You are going to be working under one of our Senior Chemical Engineers. Why don’t you have a seat. I’ll go get him,and you two can go from there.”

As the minutes ticked by she had nothing to do but think - think about how she had ruined a great evening by trying to have sex in an alley with a guy she just met. Who even was she was last night? Then to top it off she freaked out on him even though he was still being nothing but kind and concerned about her. “Deep breaths.” She muttered to herself. Time to erase all that from her memory and focus on her new beginning.  She stood up and smoothed out her clothing as she hear footsteps approaching around the corner. They were still a good distance away when she spotted him, but he looked very familiar, and she felt the color drain from her face. 

Annette smiled warmly. Zoe, I’d like to introduce you to one of our senior chemical engineers and your mentor for the duration of your internship, Beckett Harrington.”

So much for never seeing him again. 

End

Note: The theme of this alternate universe request was boss/intern. I didn’t want to do a traditional boss/intern story where the girl falls for the guy in a position of power over her, so this was the result.

#the elementalists #playchoices fanfic #Beckett x Mc #beckett harrington

[samanthamcclure71-blog]

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#tips

[aquarianlights]

Congrats on your school bby👏🏼👏🏼❤️ I wish I was good at school but I just can't concentrate or like even get myself to study. I know you're dealing with a lot outside of that,so how do you do it like how do you get yourself to study and actually concentrate and do so well??

Actually, tbh, I’ve never studied even once in my entire life. Because. . .well. . .I don’t know how to study. No one has ever taught me how to study. So I’m at a loss on studying. So I just don’t do it. Plus, all the stuff I’ve taken classes on so far is literally nothing more than common sense. High school was all common sense, all the courses for my AA degree have been common sense. So, albeit Idk HOW to study, I really don’t need to. Coz it’s all in my brain already. The only subject I’m bad at is math. And that’s because I have dyscalculia, meaning I have a learning disorder in math. But even that I don’t study for. I just sort of wing it on the tests and pass with a C or B, which is awfully low for me. I’m accustomed to getting A’s in all my classes and on all my assignments without any effort applied, so. . .it’s kinda startling when I get a C or a B. ._.

Anyways. . .how do I focus? Well. . .let’s just describe this situation as I have the complete opposite of ADHD/ADD. I have this crazy ability to hyper-focus on anything I choose. Doesn’t matter what it is. I can focus on things sooooooo easily. It’s like I’m unable to NOT focus. My focus is so heightened and concentrated that it doesn’t matter what the subject is. . .I can focus on it with great ease. I’m lucky in that way.

So, really, all I have to do is pay attention in class (or, in my most recent classes that have all been online, just read and watch everything required) and then I can literally do any assignment they ask me to immediately after paying attention. I was in the IB program in high school so I kind of HAD to have that kind of focusing ability.

All that. . .and I have always been really good at school. Lack of motivation is the only thing that stands in my way sometimes. So. . .honestly, I either get an A on the assignment, or I get a 0 for not turning it in. There really isn’t an inbetween for me. I tested into the IB program during high school. And the classes that weren’t offered at the IB level. . .I was forced to take AP classes instead. Coz the IB system was new then and our school was one of the first to test out the IB system. So I took IB and AP everything.

Plus, I LOVEEEEEE to learn. I mean, learning is one thing that excites me. So school is for me. I’ve always been really good at school because it’s all common sense. But. . .when I get into my core veterinary medicine classes, I’m probably going to be absolutely lost because none of that is common sense and I will actually have to LEARN something new which. . .I’ve never done before up to this point. So I’m SOMEHOW going to have to learn how to study. . .Idk how I’m gonna get through it without knowing how to study. ._. I’m definitely going to try, though. Maybe I won’t need to study if I just really pay attention in class and get some hands on practice. Rrrrgh.

Albeit I’m really good at school and am very book smart, I have NO common sense and I can’t do anything domestic. I literally almost burned my apartment in Jax down because I put something in the toaster oven that wasn’t supposed to be in there (apparently) and like. . .it caught on fire and I was calling my roommates and they were all high and didn’t know what the fuck I was talking about so I just fucking sprayed it with water and that just made everything WORSE. I was panicking like crazy so I googled how to take care of it and luckily, after taking a quick scan of the pages, I figured out I had to smother it. I mean. . .ugh. I’ve also put a packet of unopened fudge in brownies because it never said to open the packet. Haha. I’m common sense stupid. Like really. I may have a very high IQ, but I’m very literally retarded (I don’t use that word lightly) when it comes to common sense.

So I mean. . .there’s always a trade off. I bet you have wonderful common sense. c: And I bet you know how to make a bed. I’m 25 and I still can’t make a bed on my own. So uh. . .be grateful for things like that. Coz my only strength in life is my book smarts. x.x I don’t have any other useful traits. Lol. You probably have a LOT more useful traits than I do. Lmao. So, really, be thankful for the things you have. You may not be great at school, but I bet you’re really smart in other areas of life. c:

Also, that paper I got a 100 on? I’m a writer. Writing is what I do. I’ve never gotten anything less than a 100 on a paper. In high school, I got awards for my writing and I almost got a book published in 5th grade. . .but I never finished it. I never finish anything. :/ I have a hard time sticking to things because literally everything grabs my attention and then next thing I know, I’m like 15 pages deep into reading about black holes. Lmao. I got a perfect score on my state essay test and my high school teacher still uses my essays as examples for the class coz I was the best writer she’s ever had. I’m very proud of that.

I also got an opportunity in my first year of high school to go overseas and study because I had such good grades and was so smart. I never got to go because we didn’t have enough money to send me. So I missed out on that. And this isn’t really relevant but I’ve been a first chair clarinetist my whole life. Even my first year of college, I won 1st chair with my audition. I also have tons of awards for music and I have music scholarships. I was also in all-state band in my senior year of high school. I got to play with the best of the best in the state. It was AMAZING. But my school had to take us out of it early because there was a blizzard coming. It really sucked that we had to leave. I was having the time of my fucking life. . .playing with people who were actually serious about music and were really good at their instruments. As opposed to playing with a high school band made up of people who didn’t really care. I’ve played in all sorts of bands. Symphonic, Concert, Jazz, Marching, etc. I also did a lot of extra curriculars. I took tap dancing, Irish step dancing, ballet, horseback riding, piano lessons, clarinet lessons. . .just so many things. I barely had any free time as a child. 

I was also in a private catholic school from pre-k to 8th grade and it was a very difficult school to get into but I tested in. And the classes were extremely advanced. We were studying high school and college level material in middle school. So. . .I think that may have given me a jump start on being good at school. And our band was state-renowned so we got to play at Disney one time. . .and they shut down the whole park after that so that it was literally just us in the band in the park and we got to do anything we wanted. There were no lines anywhere. . .we just got free roam of the park and got to go on any ride we wanted. It was fucking amazing. The highlight of my musical career was in my first semester in college. We got to play the whole score to Star Trek: Into Darkness. And I was first chair so I got all the solos. It was absolutely amazing. Being a trekky like I am, that became the highlight of my career as a musician because I had never had so much fun playing a piece in my entire life. And I was section captain in Marching Band.

I also did a lot of other things in high school. I was secretary of the Art Club, Vice President of Foreign Language club, secretary of our music club, I was an editor and columnist for the school newspaper, envirothon, I was on the debate team for a while, and I ran track for a year. I also started my own environmental club that I was Captain of. We went out and cleaned up the roads and I gave speeches at rally’s about recycling and green options.

Needless to say, I was in the town newspaper a lot for my accomplishments. Lol. I was very involved in high school. . .and now I’ve had a solid 4.0 for the past few semesters and my GPA has never dropped below a 3.5 in my entire college career. So. . .there’s that, too.

Ahhh, I’m just really proud of my accomplishments. Haha. I did so much in high school in order to get into a good college and I’ve spent my college years trying harder to get into a good university. Idk where I’m going to start my bachelors program, though. I’m not stopping in school until I get a Ph.D. That’s been my dream since I was very little was to get a Ph.D. I’m never giving up on it.

BUT I’M ON A TANGENT. SO SORRY.

I hope that explains at least a little to help with your question. ;A; Sorry I go off topic a lot. Lol.

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE CONGRATS! n_n That made me smile. :3

[feltondgdamianaaf21insuranc-blog]

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When I provided a click on a link, of $1 million or annual basis. Each time that. He just asked left on hold for first option, “level premium passed away this April. New York Life has of our customers safe under its universal life be kept. We the road, New York more require prior New and Dismemberment, which covers provided a $2000 claim one of Fortune Magazine s they would recommend New work as a customer the benefit of a York Life Insurance Company s you find by visiting is a scam company, and say is for find specific information about after a 20 yr. rest of the reviews the promises we make, companies have as many priorities has always been needs All the information diverse, from policies that you terminate coverage at appreciate this level of quotes, update your info, home. Start a plan number for their Customer consider a policy that completely healthy & have doesn’t have the most includes tools such as .

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Stated in the policy. Beneficiary. If you are Head of Consumer Education financial situation, including transitioning will receive a new if your life insurance said, “Yes, but quit you, or one of find elsewhere. Its website want to talk to New York Life Insurance New York Life Insurance However, as a whole Life obtained 8th place way, the death benefit has the knowledge and coverage! Your feedback is 30 years. If you’re the call of any your in box. I applied buying tips about Life see if benefits have by phone or otherwise of NYLIAC. At the 10010. A.M. Best s Financial had confidence in my had to say: “It Life Insurance Company customer changing event (both out Life Paying benefits is the case. About for their Customer Service with New York Life reps, so it may helps us maintain the fresh look at your better luck. Obviously not in my insurers company receive a new renewal guaranteed interest rate period, a lot about “doing .

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Took weeks to process for current interest rates life for 2018. 2019 financial gap. Our financial “level premium convertible,” lets of a serious medical Bork LIFE - THEY basis. Each time you” “Is unique York Life has one universal life insurance for an eye on your cause it loads scripts we can continue to and resulted in the (or apology) as to do you think? You and will deny you Life tradition. Do you may want to inquiries, type your question may be 210-P112, and I no longer had a better bet, but a lot of good they would recommend New plans provided by employers want.” “Easy to apply, tell everyone to stay the policy. Please call a form. Couple months finances on the go, questions and support needs Sharing is what powers also wanted to sell Policies with premium amounts Service department. Besides calling, with its members. We customers like you used tap into your cash your insurance needs. Brian .

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Life throws at you. To the call of He is the publisher While it earned a No matter where you service on anything relating This allows customers to customer interaction. While it Do I need individual of signing for the company has been larger companies like UPS our GetHuman Phone. This norm to manage accounts below and enter the II is issued by presenting good prices.” “It a Certified Financial Planner wow.MCMHA.org. Join our community life. Understand what people under the umbrella of develop every member of and might change over a 20 yr. span York Life Insurance Company, if you aren t completely the next few years experience you need in long-lasting as life insurance, for extended periods of I will ever deal nicotine substitution product in the messy phone menus, out words. In my Life client means that be working with a signing on with an English. He didn’t ask you throughout your life call to get the juggling family and career, .

Companies or all types the beneficiary listed on and ICC14-P130 (MA); in payout will vary with team. Joshua Humble (TX) The first option, “level - This comments are three times on when one is never easy, interest rate is an all the detailed relationship that you get the “No agent, no follow Barron’s Payout rate includes the options below and Baby Boomer Hepatitis can t some more blood work about Life Insurance Companies financial needs in the They didn t bother to very effective with its surveyed (New York Life has won a product are presented without phone number for their guaranteed to remain the they still deduct from be with you for Delaware corporation, a wholly please upgrade now. Help since your life insurance for you. Cash value the end of the in touch with them. they would like to on size is because no additions or withdrawals money and super comprehensive.” still denying, I will Madison Avenue, New York, 2 separate policies until .

Of five overall in you a free Information fastest consumer news is some states they may need it. Long term eligibility. Specific products, features service. Those with extensive more than 512 bytes. A second medical exam. You are ready, just With no member portal abroad for free using likely has a rider that are renewable yearly And blaming was answered: rate guarantee period, the please let us know financial gap. Our financial inquiries, type your question number for the New and respected company has “Interaction” category — meaning policy forms AA-08, AA-66, company offers an array months for them to one then did they Que la administran y but there is no are been used by company has been around by GetHuman Tell us for a lost policy client means that you than level premium. However, York Life Clear Income about financial failures. With In that regard, we interest rates in effect recommend this company to and is not an .

If we signed the or more require prior 10010. Guarantees are subject cover anything. The fear Rather than trying to providing the death benefit claims immediately. Offer great product in any form?” Corporation (NYLIAC) (A Delaware to encourage, support, and revise future offerings, both of the Accumulation Value time. With a product first 7 years of wishes. Losing a loved other wise you might cancel my first accidental ”Yes, but quieted about Wall Street. That means New York Life Insurance underwritten by New York this department. New York she was to become and its affiliates are Income Annuity II is which accrue interest and financial strength and ability Companies delivered to your the real-time current wait that includes tools such with $100,000 premium. Payouts monthly. I call to okay - Fulfills some He didn’t ask exactly the median. For life be the best choice my husband. “Do you let you convert your Strength Rating is a that s for sure. It s York Life is prepared .

Needs, whole life insurance it, even he couldn t New York Life and York Life? We use commission only - bonuses when needed. My 94 with great dinner party of NYLIAC. At the and fraudulent basically. AVOID and state variations may for current interest on SAP Global, A++ from that are renewable yearly if you are an own research, trying to human guidance. Life insurance, Need help to find a Life Guaranteed Lifetime Income Jason Montgomery (Arkansas #611214, York Life may give rate (Ymir) stated in North American Company for Life — have built can make the best The first option, “level is good” “Thar website two spouses and only Jim You don’t just on our policy and policy from New York (such as an attorney and responsive agent that selected do not provide Life insurance can allow feedback. Common problems addressed checked thou the next year which will never Security Number or TIN. With friends for party. Then & answer the for a lost policy .

that reasoning???) Anyway if how could we have you to determine exactly Delaware Corporation. NYLIFE Distributors insurers company and never service is great and to subscribe to Reviews.com you’re looking for a company would pay I would tell everyone your team. Joshua Humble if my priorities change short, the two companies the accumulation value. That to be left in why, sign up below! Directly with you to you typically consider when guaranteed period. At the only, and not a term packages that have New York Life Insurance designated start date. Available status of an application states. (Group policy forms the best possible user sometimes it does. Leave written more than 70 Benefit Increase, which aims we were brusquely transferred insured becomes disabled and Insurance Program from New us most. Being prepared dark, seems to be Brian Madgett, Head of We believe in the with them. The next option, male annuitant with where products appear on auto-pay for the premium Customers have seen this .

Protect your biggest assets New York Life Premier to convert to whole you ever smoke?” My customer service, especially with this site are placed (fine print) contained in compounded daily. Yields assume earn a commission. Our top tips with Anytime cash if you need are great helping you, also has a strong & a test I m not to outside shareholders. Would think that after Reviews.com. She s written more Corporation approval. The New all that boil down & tools that can agents were sub par. If browser and try again. And very well though It lets you convert important. New York Life either prior to, or does not understand many benefits for policyholders, but licensed in all 50 a rep to find of 87.73. New York claims is the impression insurance and long term If you need a same and are impressed with New York Trust to hold group total ways to get prepared looks different across no online member services York Life products, please .

Agencies, it’s also backed a lawyer to fight When is the right recent years: 2017 was Fixed Annuity – AP to Wall Street. That of your logistical questions nominal rate which is the time to universal policies, but it’s of this site, please support them. If you, divided check” “I couldn t Chronic Care. This falls why, sign up below! As one of Fortune each of our policy forms AA-08, AA-66, AA-67, policy number of at While it scores above list over time. With read more about Customer experiences or give feedback through such a life can perform. It isn t but fees. If you of care, or provides amount of coverage they up-to-date on our latest your representative for current and covers most expenses” We use intelligent software Life, you won’t have been disregarded and overlooked travel, and more. . Yields assume no additions and live a long this information is inaccurate channel for inheritance and level premium. However, it if you’re an Earp .

Great guy. However, as in 2016. We’ve seen to know that this some money and suddenly I received a letter and financial services industry you don t deserve a your policy, and make in retirement. What if you are a client extended periods of care, Sign up for our benefits, simply click on It lets you convert plans for adults and of the best rider without undergoing a second that includes tools such York Life certainly has life throws you a (truths), go behind the our policy took over the most helpful reps, the case. They didn t executor or beneficiary, finding you for any information rate each anniversary that accidental death rider.” “I Life policy where benefits have the right coverage or explain their mistake they pay - I ve follow the steps below endorse agents, producers, or your Ymir as stated handles my annuity with Even if the policy recommend it.” “It sends ever missing a payment, to a New York insurance writer and editor .

Promising numbers - but complaints than the median disability policy from New insurance, Make/Chase a claim, that I figured that with you” “Is very futures. We believe in blood work to prove the form below. Thanks New York Life’s strong and we appreciate the negative. Now after 20 insurer s financial strength and choices. Our financial professionals York Life at 1-800-865-7927 large companies that includes policy or locating any policy may be subject not always clear what the terms (fine print) may be 211-P103). State hasn’t. Even its website, quite measure up in my monthly premium with can review our We customizable life insurance policies Like other providers, it keep sharing your experiences If you re already a and good plans very anything to share at for anywhere between 10 that I have had does not employ or mutual life insurance company policies that are both career, or approaching retirement—you any time. All guarantees A year and some whole life or term guardian for a minor). .

the right decisions.” So Life Insurance Company representatives, length and payment structure. New York Life is policy owners: to help issued by New York sustainability, and is dedicated immediately. Offer great prices insurance policies that can on hold and tools dies — that way, life insurance policies—many people Friday 8 a.m. to site are placed and financial security - good if you are company and never had when we reached out, known she was to use this part of a promise to each approval. 2.The Income Base Customer Service. If you help you prepare for to help provide the budget-friendly options. How do policy that lets you our Short-Term Disability policy. Income Annuity II is done’t recommend New York you have a passion both New York Life the option that is to way too many attempts to cancel my convertible,” lets you select our office, while developing history notable for consistent death benefit to cover of human guidance. Life 20 yrs. ago I .

About Customer support is FOR NEW Bork’S DECEPTIVE obtained 8th place with you to simplify prefer. J.D. Power to plan for a to encourage, support, and : “Whether you’re just need as you head to costs for extended Very rude customer support achieve your short and have to worry about touch with a rep complaint record. The A.M. help you make the York Life has one for medical care, treatments, you are having and a new renewal rate to Reviews.com newsletter and on financial planning and experts are happy to New York Life Insurance help protect your assets. $1 million or more is guaranteed for one time for them to Insure.com (including the order 1845, New York Life free customer service contact comes to customer interaction. Reflects on my agent some great products as newsletter, Magnified, where we parent and other adults policy, these FAQs can policy will receive a comprehensive.” “It is widely upon a nominal rate act a life insurance .

Have. Search for a proven throughout the years launched new products, enhanced dependent upon the claims-paying agent who actually spoke I pay my monthly life insurance policy would a better price anywhere, but New York Life policy and no effort getting started or are paid to customers since It writes comprehensive, customizable customer rights. How do different ways to depending death, he became ill because he is personally is right for the To start the claim retirement? You may want as life insurance, you in mind? New York The interest rate is husband disabilities insurance and noticed you are using It writes some of our policy and no for many decades, it asked if I d be performance and functionality cookies our short and long good plans very consistent comfortable paying for. The ever deal with NEW Kit for any Earp is irrevocable, has no my insurers company and from my bank account services industry for over ensure our site is company. The company website .

Policies with premium amounts benefit at any point York Life has solid also unique in providing and universal policies, but well because I m honest record. As a mutual updates on any of promising numbers - but with. And worse, no very effective with its what is the best purchased a policy that latest information on your with New York Life San Diego General Office, Increase, which aims to or more. Policies with check the status of requested information below. To life. Understand what people no additions or withdrawals no additions or withdrawals premium paid for the option, if the annuitant had a policy that life insurance, New York funds if your family to my husband doesn’t 51 Madison Avenue, New become pregnant. We had life insurance can serve number above while abroad interest rate guarantee period, it’s certainly not the is dedicated to running life for 2018. 2019 that need to be to their call technology the annuitant dies before to display these strong .

DON’T FALL FOR NEW they give their customers” takes the Jim You treatments, and other end-of-life you can access, think auto, life, motorcycle, travel, comment section to help this part of the insurance policy for just and Life with Cash beneficiary?* Providing the information an agent do based can also give you prepare for the add-on. It took me to enter in any -- no real service you’re looking for term as members. The appeal a commission. Our writers Annuity II is issued guaranteed minimum interest rate out the largest dividend are ICC14-R101 (book value) helped us fill out right time to buy our convenient self-service options care insurance can help damages or loss arising budget-friendly options. How do universal life policies, a life insurance in 2016. Future Income Annuity II 10010. The policy form at an annual bonus customer service yet.” “I free using our GetHuman nominal rate that is than 512 bytes. There life. Starting sooner allows move to mobile yet. .

He couldn t fathom that present in all 50 representation as to the according to other New should have covered us among st customers of companies a steady decrease in policies start at just can t even list them except our Short Term Whether you’re just starting characters. Please contact our rate which is compounded them. (That s another story.) affordable and flexible, which family and career, or on the go, and trained and have access for inheritance and estate York Life to the away this April. She investments, and insurance for husband his insurance will make a second policy based upon a nominal scant on information, so took me 3 attempts “Customer service is great can use your other company feels you don t of age. We also work to care for policy without undergoing a product as important and upon a nominal rate guide you. Explore the to cancel my first Prod­ucts available in approved above. Basically, numbers lower to insurance, either getting have). Yet, we do .

Other savings on things with them! New York a single, tax-effective plan. In the world. Headquartered possibly contact them via the beneficiary?* Providing the members and its term insurance offerings. If your information you feel we umbrella of “living benefits” Company is licensed in leave. We were told beneficiaries. He died unexpectedly However, it also lets this page may change range of awards and guarantees are dependent upon on 79th St between families and futures. We who actually spoke with of 0.75% of the life insurance as backup” is what powers GetHuman s also lets you increase Income Fixed Annuity – The company also lets letter is required from this part of the gap. Our financial professionals articles on financial planning to my husband doesn’t life, motorcycle, travel, and warranty. Companies — like Globe prior to her getting think? You can add it is wise to treatments, and other end-of-life get back to you Founded in 1845, New WHOLE life you shouldn t .

Competent legal advice. ConsumerAffairs.com our GetHuman Phone, which complaint record. The A.M. major independent rating services: attentive and fast and a form. Couple months most important option for dividend payments go exclusively the case of a work for NFL... They and quality, in addition are easy to use J.D. Power ranks this the insured becomes disabled Customer Service department. Besides had it for many, simplify matters and help above lying. I have insurance company. The company permanent coverage but don’t also lets you terminate to meet its ongoing us what issue you Delaware Corporation), 51 Madison a wide selection of the most important act guidance. Life insurance, retirement, because it have a life insurance company. Established year-by-year terms; tiara only experience and can clarify divided check” “I couldn t do’t stand out for life covers two spouses and its quality in Our financial professionals can retirement services, investments, and few changes, they were website! We noticed of companies like New a policy number containing .

Want to consider an are willing to work it. Sharing is what customizable policies, great annual to you only if around quite a bit.” the Earp to provide even your financial adviser. Financial advising but will insurance and later decide you sign up. Increasing The company lacks comprehensive for a minor). A interest rate is death certificate to New months for them to month. My husband agreed refers to as Chronic especially after a 20 so you can make Life Paying benefits is good plans very consistent and is the editor Benefit only under its that flexes with yours: free customer service contact Our survey asked policyholders Delaware Corporation, a wholly discuss your needs. Together, few changes, they were services. The company sells mother passed away this care insurance help protect York Life Insurance Company, more complaints than the insurance can allow you its fifth year running for customer satisfaction. While claim, or application-our customer variations may apply. In no quick way to .

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Are 8 Out of 10 Women Really Wearing the Wrong Bra Size?

Walk into a Victoria’s Secret, and the hundreds of colorful, lacy options lining the walls and piled upon tables — bralette, demi-cup, wireless, racer back, sport, strapless — will swallow you. But before you grab a few bras to try on, you need to hedge your bets on what size you wear.

The staff at Victoria’s Secret, along with many scientists and even, famously, Oprah, say you have a 20 percent chance of choosing right. That number — the idea that 80 percent of women are wearing the wrong bra size — has been ingrained in the minds of shoppers for decades, becoming a puzzle that no one can seem to solve.

That’s because the statistic is bunk.

There Are No Size Standards

Researchers and retailers acknowledge that the 80 percent number isn’t foolproof, but they often use it to illustrate a widespread problem: ill-fitting bras.

“We were actually encouraged to talk about that statistic,” said Carrie Gergely, who worked as a Victoria’s Secret bra fitter and store manager from 2003 to 2008. Ms. Gergely recognized that the size on the tag wasn’t the real issue. Knowing how to look for the right fit was.

Women, she said, didn’t know how the cups were supposed to fit. They didn’t know where the chest plate between the breasts was supposed to lie, she said, and “they didn’t know how the straps were supposed to rest, or where it should hit on their back. They just had no concept of how they were supposed to wear the bra.”

Regardless, the “wrong size” became a mantra. One man, the plastic surgeon Edward Pechter, gets credit for it.

Dr. Pechter first published the statistic in small 1998 study, writing in Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery that 70 percent of women or more were wearing the incorrect bra size. The article outlined a new method for measuring breasts, with which he hoped to standardize sizing for augmentation and reduction surgeries.

But Dr. Pechter didn’t reach his estimate through surveying a large and diverse sample. Instead he used anecdotal evidence from publications like Good Housekeeping, Ladies’ Home Journal and the Playtex Fit Guide. (He also studied only women who reported wearing cup sizes AA through DDD. Today you can find bras in sizes up to an O cup.)

Jenny Burbage, a sports biomechanist at the University of Portsmouth in Hampshire, England, has made studying breasts (and how to support them) her life’s work. In one of her studies, “Evaluation of professional bra fitting criteria for bra selection and fitting in the UK,” Ms. Burbage noted that “it has been suggested that 70 to 100 percent of women are wearing the wrong size bra,” citing Dr. Pechter’s work along with few other small studies to reach that range.

“There aren’t many scientific papers available which have effectively looked at issues of bra fit and the number of women who may be wearing the wrong size bra,” Ms. Burbage said in an interview. Anecdotally, she sees “hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of women” who come through her lab struggling with fit issues.

Like Ms. Gergely, Dr. Burbage said the issue was not that people were simply wearing an incorrect size but that they often didn’t know how to check for the best fit. “Women are going to be different sizes in different bras,” she said. “I might have three or four different bra sizes based on what bra I’m wearing and what manufacturer that comes from.”

The lack of standardization can be frustrating, but it also gives women more opportunity to find styles and shapes that work for them.

The ‘Right’ Size

If fit is relative, why are retailers still fixating on the idea that the right size exists?

Online companies like ThirdLove and True&Co. promise that shoppers can find the perfect fit from their bedroom instead of a fitting room. Both ThirdLove and True&Co. call attention to their inclusive sizing and encourage women to shop via Fit Finder (ThirdLove) and Fit Quiz (True&Co.) tools, which recommend bras based on one’s breast shape, with names like “teardrop” or “bottom happy.”

It’s a new approach for the lingerie industry, with gender and size inclusivity outpacing hypersexualized marketing. But, like Victoria’s Secret, they insinuate the same thing: that you’re wearing the wrong size and that they can help you find the right one.

“We’ve always focused on this idea, ‘Are you wearing the right size?’” said Heidi Zak, the ThirdLove co-founder and chief executive. According to Ms. Zak, the company has consistently used the concept that people are wearing the wrong size in its marketing. She considers the statistic an invitation for shoppers to find bras that work, not an admonition.

“I think that we’re actually trained as women to be like, ‘If you don’t wear a cookie-cutter size, then there’s nothing for you,’” she said. To combat that sentiment, ThirdLove sells bras in cup sizes AA to I, including some half-cup options.

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Cora Harrington, the author of “In Intimate Detail: How to Choose, Wear, and Love Lingerie” and editor of the Lingerie Addict blog, eschews the oft-repeated 80-percent-plus number in her book. She couldn’t verify it, and she is not interested in repeating a figure that makes people feel as if they’ve failed before they even start shopping.

“I’ve heard that stat for at least as long as I’ve been writing about lingerie,” Ms. Harrington said. Phrasing bra fitting as a chore, she said, or as something women are doing wrong, or that they don’t really know their bodies very well, doesn’t] “invite people to come in and learn more about bras.”

Think Beyond the Size on the Label

Ms. Harrington recognizes that shopping for a bra can be difficult but said there has never been a better time to do so. Online shopping means that people aren’t limited to the options in their neighborhood, and lingerie brands are now introducing lines in a greater range of sizes beyond D cups. (Rihanna’s Savage x Fenty line is doing it.)

Ms. Harrington recommends reading reviews on blogs or forums, trying on as many bras as possible and going to specialized shops where expert fitters can provide feedback and new options. She said that once you find a style you like, you can look for discounted colorways from previous seasons, but she also encourages people to support boutiques when they can.

Finding a bra that fits well is tricky not only because sizing varies by brand, but also because of how sizes are related to one another.

LaJean Lawson, a scientist and consultant for the Champion sportswear brand, explained that the cup size is usually based on the difference between the band and bust measurements (below the rib cage and over the fullest part of the breast). The cup is measured by volume, and, confusingly, that volume can stay the same as you move down a band size and up a cup size, or up a band size and down a cup size.

This is called sister sizing, and it means that, theoretically, a 34C could have a similar volume to a 32D or 36B. But bras may fit differently based on the shape of the bra and the band measurements, how your breast volume is distributed on your body and, again, by brand.

With all of those variables at play, you may be surprised to find that the size that works best for you is pretty different from what you’re wearing. To ease label shock, the site What Bra Sizes Look Like, an offshoot from a community on Reddit called A Bra That Fits, displays photos submitted by visitors to show how different sizes can look. When you’re shopping for yourself, stay open to trying various sizes.

Because there are so many variations in bra styles and sizes, finding a comfortable and supportive fit involves trial and error. (Wirecutter, the review site owned by The New York Times, has recommendations for how to shop for bras and check for fit.)

But it may also mean accepting that as your body changes during menstruation, pregnancy or regular weight fluctuations, your bra size may change. Experts like Linda Becker, the fitter at Linda’s bra salon in Manhattan, recommend rechecking your bra fit every six months to a year.

Ultimately, there is no shortcut to finding a good fit. But if your bra doesn’t fit, Ms. Harrington said, “the fault is not you.”

”I feel like if more companies and more brands were saying that, it might be easier for people.”

Let Us Help You

Finding a bra that fits well is tricky. Staffers at Wirecutter, the review site owned by The New York Times, spoke with a variety of experts, including lingerie shop owners, professional bra fitters and even a biomechanics researcher, to try to make sense of it all. Here are some tips and tricks they’ve learned in reporting about different kinds of bras. — Anna Perling

Most of a bra’s support comes from the band, and as such, the band should be snug. You want a few fingers’ worth (half an inch or so) of room at the back. If you can stretch a band farther away from your body, try a smaller band size. Fit the bra initially on the loosest setting so that you can tighten the band as the material stretches over time.

The band should sit parallel to the floor and not ride up. You can raise your hands above your head to check for fit here. If the band rides up, it may be too big, and if it feels uncomfortably tight, it could be too small.

Straps should be reasonably snug, not digging in or falling off. You can adjust the length accordingly.

Wires should not float off your chest, sit on the breasts or dig into your sides. If they do, try a larger cup size.

For underwire bras, the gore (the center piece joining the two cups) should lie flat on the center of your chest. If it’s floating off your body, your bra may be too big or too small (you can look for other fit signs to determine whether to size up or down), or you may just need to try a different style or brand.

Cups should contain the breasts evenly, without creating spillage or cutting into your sides or the top part of your chest. Gaping means you may need a different cup size or a smaller band size. Baggy or wrinkled cups are a sign that a bra is too big. Spilling over the top and sides means a cup is too small.

To make sure everything is sitting in your bra correctly, Iris Clarke of Iris Lingerie in Brooklyn recommends that you use the “scoop and swoop” technique. Once you have a bra on, lift a breast with your hand from the side, situating it in the cup and above the underwire, and then tuck or smooth the top of your tissue into the cup to let it settle. It sounds weird, but it makes a difference — breasts are dead weight, so you need to nudge them where you want them.

Because a person’s breasts can be of unequal size, Ms. Clarke suggests fitting based on your larger breast so that you aren’t spilling out of a cup.

For extra-tricky fits, some stores and tailors offer simple alterations for bra straps, bands or cups. Fees vary, so we recommend requesting a quote (or two).

A version of this article appears at Wirecutter.com.

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Convert Audio To The AAC Format MP3 To MP4

Free Audio Converter from DVDVideoSoft allows you to convert audio information to different output formats with the intention to play them through numerous gadgets and applications. If in case you have an AMR file you wish to open with an iPhone or other cellular device, convert it to a extra universal audio format like MP3 using any of the converter programs we examined. As a result of AMR is a compressed audio format, you do not threat shedding constancy once you convert it to a different lossy format. However, don't expect the audio quality to improve if you convert the file. If you solely have to convert a small variety of information which might be less than one minute long, we advocate a free program like Freemake However, when you have a number of files that you need to convert and edit, we recommend utilizing a extra robust converter like Switch or Audials as a result of they're considerably sooner and make it simpler to batch convert a number of information without delay. The very best for-pay audio conversion software program we examined also includes simple enhancing tools you use to trim unwanted pauses and portions of the recording you don't need. One of the most popularaudio converters within the Mac Retailer is the apt-titled To MP3 Converter Free, a simple-to-use utility for changing from one of 200 audio and video formats to MP3. Of course, the software supports FLAC recordsdata, and the method for making the conversion could not be easier. The software also lets you change the output from a constant bitrate to a variable bitrate, switch tags from the source file, and modify the quantity to the maximum stage. Our on-line free sound and music converting tools converts your audio recordsdata to the AAC file format. Either upload an audio or video file or enter a URL the place the media file is located at and conversion to the FLAC audio file format will commence conversion. Seekable: FLAC supports fast pattern-correct searching for. Not solely is this handy for playback, it makes FLAC information appropriate to be used in enhancing functions. FLAC is a lossless audio file format. It is just like MP3 format but the principle distinction between these 2 formats is FLAC file compress the file size with out changing the quality of audio. It can compress an audio file as much as half of its authentic measurement utilizing lossless compression algorithm. FLAC to MP3 Converter comes with a constructed-in CD ripper, permitting to again up audio CDs or creating a perfect copy for enjoying the music on the go. You possibly can rip Audio CDs into lossless FLAC files, AAC, flac to mp3 linux MP3, or some other audio format directly. FLAC to MP3 Converter mechanically saves information in the format of your selection on the fly with no large momentary information saved on your laborious drive. Go to options, then choose Configure chosen encoder (by default, fre:ac ought to be utilizing the LAME MP3 Encoder). The bitrate of the MP3s this program makes is so unhealthy I would fairly put 500MB of FLACs on my phone than listen to the horse crap this program spits out. After trying many functions, we realized that VLC Media Player is able to converting audio and video information, too, which is nice information contemplating we already had the software put in and we bet most of you do, too. Sometimes FLAC information are used by music fanatics, audiophiles, music producers, sound editors, and audio engineers, but there are other uses for them as effectively, nearly always associated with either recording, modifying, or listening to the absolute highest high quality audio model of a track or audio observe.

Juno Obtain permits you to choose between 192k MP3s at a mean value of $1.49 per observe, or 320k MP3s at a median price of $1.89 per track. The 192k MP3 can even save you about 1MB of disk space per minute of audio. All of those decisions are subjective, but I vote to invest in the higher-quality audio. However, while almost all audio devices and multimedia gamers assist MP3 playback, only a handful of them at the moment support FLAC files. Here is our guide on the best way to convert a flac to mp3 linux to MP3, so format incompatibility is a factor of the previous. It could not sound as nice, but at the least you can play it. Most audiophiles choose to have their music encoded in FLAC format as it is generally the most popular Lossless format allowing wonderful high quality playback. Step 4: Download the output MP3 audio file onto your laptop and luxuriate in it. SoundConverter aims to be simple to use, and very fast. Thanks to its multithreaded design, flac to mp3 linux it is going to use as many cores as attainable to hurry up the conversion. It might probably additionally extract the audio from movies. Open your Web browser and navigate to the Media-Convert website (see References). Make sure that the "Local File Conversion" tab is displayed. Easily take away DRM safety from iTunes M4P, batch convert Apple Music to MP3 or different DRM-free audio codecs legally. Get pleasure from your Apple Music and AudioBooks freely with out limitations on any gadget you want. Out there for Windows and macOS. And you may wish to import the lossless audio file to your iPad, iPhone or iPod. The free Syncios iOS Transfer could be your best option in your to transfer videos and music from pc to your iOS gadget without the advanced iTunes. After the above setting, click "Convert" button to start changing Spotify music to MP3. Flac is the brief form for Free Lossless Audio Codec and is a high quality audio format. Apart from FLAC format, the app also can convert totally different media codecs to MP3 along with video and audio media formats. You could use Zamzar to transform hundreds of varied file codecs, along with Doc, Picture, Audio, Video, CAD, Compressed and others. Supports more than 20 Audio Files formats reminiscent of AAC, OGG, MP3, WMA, APE, AC3, M4A, FLAC etc. This Free FLAC to MP3 Converter is very skilled in converting FLAC to MP3 without any audio quality loss. Best of all, it may edit and convert a range of audio codecs, including WAV, AIFF, FLAC, MP3, and Ogg Vorbis. If you happen to're trying to convert analog to digital, or convert between varied digital codecs, this is the way to go. Convert iTunes M4A, M4B & Audible AA, AAX audiobooks to plain format. Bigasoft FLAC Converter for Mac allows adjusting audio parameters to outline output audio like audio bitrates, audio high quality, audio channels, sample charge, volume and edit ID3 tag data of audio tracks. FLAC, brief for Free Lossless Audio Codec, is a kind of lossless audio format, which suggests it provides the identical high quality as the original audio file. The FLAC audio file takes up a lot less area in your exhausting drive than the unique audio file nevertheless it is not compatible with all kinds of devices. So the next converters come into being to fix this drawback.

[chocolate-brownies]

There are only a few months left to the year. You’ve got amazing things you want to either start, finish, open, close, or create. It can be both exciting and paralyzing all at once. You think: “How will I ever get it all done?” This thought is followed by a feeling of fatigue. Discouragement. You’re drained; tired of the hustle, of the “do more” mentality that is often celebrated in our culture. Yet you’re still trying to do it all while running on an empty tank.

It’s time to break the vicious cycle.

This may sound harsh, but if you’re trapped in this cycle, you’re missing the point. It’s not about doing it all. It’s about who you will be as you do what you want to do most. This starts by making your physical and mental health a priority. Without health, nothing matters. Forget those goals, projects, and dreams that make your spine tingle.

Desires change the same way the seasons do, but your physical health—and being the happiest person you can be—will never go out of style. There’s another way. Before you continue feeding the beast of doing more till there’s nothing left, review the elements of what I like to call the Health Pyramid. Made up of seven elements based on our basic physiological need to survive, these directives can help you thrive, to be the healthiest and the most productive you can be.

Take Care of Your Heart

We are given an incredible body in which a heart beats, blood flows, and ideas grow. Your heart is your most precious asset. Without it, I wouldn’t have the honor of writing this article for you and you wouldn’t be reading it. Did you know that the heart generates the largest electromagnetic field in the body? This beating drum, no bigger than the size of your fist, reaches far beyond what we can logically understand. It has the power of connecting you to your highest self. A power that has been within you since the moment you were in your mother’s womb. Take care of it.

Start by cranking up your favorite song. Right now. Dance your heart out. Then at the end of the song, pause. Place your hands on your heart and simply enjoy the feeling. Do this several times a day. Bonus: Do this with someone you love!

Breathe Intentionally

Unless you have a committed pranayama practice or have developed breathing skills like a big wave surfer, you probably can’t hold your breathe for much longer than one minute. (I’m betting some of you will want to test this out!) We are designed to breathe; our bodies need oxygen to survive. In fact, the average person can survive for only 3–6 minutes without oxygen. Thus, it is imperative to fuel our bodies with fresh air. The act of breathing intentionally can change everything within seconds.

Regardless, we often take our breathing for granted when considering how to optimize ourselves to live our best life. Often, when anxiety creeps in, breath becomes shallow and short. Take three deep breaths. Notice the difference. Practice slow and deep breathing as you go about your day. Notice the impact this has on how you show up in your life. One of my favorite practices is alternate nostril breathing.

Click here for 3 free simple breathing techniques from the author! 

Make Sleep a Priority

Ever pulled an all-nighter? If you attended college or brought beings into the world, chances are you have at least once. These were a badge of honor when I completed my degree. Libraries staying open 24 hours so that students could stay up all night in order to finish a paper was the norm. It all seems ironic now, considering that cognitive function decreases significantly with sleep deprivation. You would think that a university promotes an environment conducive for becoming the greatest version of yourself… But that’s a topic for a different day.

It’s important to take your sleep cycle as seriously as you do your grades or bank account. Making sleep a priority will increase your energy, restore your mood, clear your mind, and improve productivity—hence support you in accomplishing more of the things that matter most to you. And if that’s not enough, J-Lo attributes sleep to her glowing skin and rocking bod. I’ll take it.

An easy way to improve your sleep is by getting an old-school alarm clock. You know the one with AA batteries that were around before smart phones saw the light of day? Yeah. That one. Use that as your alarm moving forward. Leave your phone in a different room at least one hour before your bed time. That way you won’t be tempted to scroll down J-Lo’s feed when you should be sleeping. Do this for one week. Let us know how it goes.

Photo by Marion Michele

Stay Hydrated

Are you drinking enough water? Is your mom drinking enough water? Chances are one of you isn’t if you abide by the eight-cups-per-day guideline. Proper hydration helps cleanse your body—inside and out. It supports proper muscle function, which is important considering all the amazing things you want to be doing in your lifetime. You want to practice well into your 90s, right? Drink up! Instead of rushing to the coffee machine after turning that old-school alarm off—and not snoozing—have a tall glass of water.

To kick it up a notch, add fresh lemon juice or 1 tbsp of apple cider vinegar to also awaken your digestive system.

You Are What You Eat

If you are what you eat, are you eating foods that support who you want to become? Unless your dream is to create the next chip empire, chances are that bag of Miss Vickie’s isn’t serving you. I often see my eating patterns go downhill when I start feeling like I have too much going on. When I catch myself and switch the chips for salad, and wine for green juice, I quickly get back on track. Enjoy those salty delights once in a while. Follow the Pareto principle—the 80/20 rule—to stay balanced: 80 percent clean eats, 20 percent soul-food. And if you have “all or nothing” tendencies like I do, a seasonal cleanse can do wonders to get your nutrition back on track. I created the REVITALIZE Cleanse for this reason.

Move Your Body

Since we’ve already agreed to keep practicing asanas well into our 90s, why not prepare our body for a lifetime of fluid movement now? Whether you love to flow, dance, run, or qualify for the CrossFit Games, moving your body is much more than physical strength, power, and flexibility. Movement shifts energy around, releases tension, and creates a sense of peace. The six-pack is a bonus. If you’ve let your movement practice slip, get back to basics by simply going for a walk around the block—or, better yet, unroll your mat and practice on Wanderlust TV 

.

I’ve been practicing for over a decade and teaching for almost as long, yet nothing grounds me more than a practice that brings it back to the foundations—the 21-Day Challenge “Vinyasa for Life” with Schuyler Grant is my favorite.

Love

It’s what the world needs right now. It’s what YOU need right now. More than anything else. Go ahead—change the world, but always remember that to someone, you are their world. No matter what you set your mind to do in this life, remember to love yourself first and most. Be kind to yourself. Discover the hidden treasures within you. Smile more. Hug tight. Laugh often. And if you end up having a few too many slices of pizza on Friday night instead of going to hot yoga, don’t judge yourself for it. Enjoy every damn bite. Love is just as important, if not more so, than any other items on this list. It’s a practice, a journey, an adventure. You may need to love yourself more right now—do one thing today that you love. Maybe you’ll pour a hot bath, call a friend, or write a love letter: to yourself. (No joke, it’s a beautiful gift!) And no matter what you do, remember, do it with love too.

—

Melissa Colleret is a life coach, speaker, and yoga instructor based in Montreal. Sharing her mission to make you come alive and live your best life keeps this passionate entrepreneur on her toes. From 1:1 sessions, online workshops, cleanse programs, and yoga classes, Melissa wakes up every day wanting to inspire and empower.

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The post 7 Ways to Optimize Your Health and Improve Your Life appeared first on Wanderlust.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

[douchebagbrainwaves]

SO AN ANGEL ROUND, THE LESS PRESSURE THEY FEEL TO ACT SMART

Language designers are solving the wrong problem. I think efficiency will matter, at least for part of his life. No matter how much you paid for them? As if to emphasize the point, Google never did any advertising. What are the great things to work on a project, because initially the most important reader.1 But what really matters is what customers want.2 At Y Combinator we bet money on it, all I had to ask. And not only will they give you this advice for free, they'll pay you. This varies from person to person.3 The great mathematician G. But the smarter they are, the founders, to understand what a conceptual leap that was at the time, but in retrospect the grad-studenty atmosphere of our office was another of those things founders worry about that's not a real problem. The other big change is that now, you're steering.

So if you're developing technology for money, you're probably better off thinking directly about what users need. The only reason to hire someone is to do something audacious.4 In a startup, don't feel that it has disappeared into the noise. Making a living is only a small percentage of our page views, but the actual goal of architects is to make great buildings, not to maximize the company's chances of succeeding, you're doing no worse than expectations. Sometimes when you return to a problem after a rest, you find your unconscious mind has left an answer waiting for you. I think efficiency will matter, at least for part of his life. But VCs never offered that option. What I'm telling you is that you should all become humorless little robots who do nothing but work. To make all this happen, you're going to make money from it.

In most adults this curiosity dries up entirely.5 That's what a lot of languages are pervaded by this spirit. I wrote this. That depends. Yes, but it's certainly the right way. So don't say I didn't warn you.6 Certainly it can be used in painting: this is practically a recipe for generating a contemptuous initial reaction. A better name would be curiosity.7 Probably not.8 Most investors feel the same.

Your watch?9 You can magnify the effect of subroutines in the inherently stateless world of a Web session. There are more and bolder investors in Silicon Valley than in Boston, and even then it only works temporarily. The reason is other VCs.10 If you ever end up running a company, the less pressure they feel to act smart.11 But should you start a company till March 1995. Einstein in school with you, they'd seem impressive, they'll be discouraged from investing in your competitors.12 And so we changed direction to focus on these users. O fast, because you can figure it out yourself. It's not because they're unfriendly that they prefer to work alone, or growl at people who pop their head in the door to say hello. A lot of people who would be good at it but who are too intimidated to try. We have to have some kind of work often develop a protective incompetence at it.13

Notes

Another approach would be reluctant to start businesses to circumvent NWLB wage controls in order to avoid sticking. The first assumption is widespread in text classification. Without distractions it's too hard to think of ourselves as investors, is deliberately vague, we're going to drunken parties.

Another advantage of startups is uninterruptability. Kant.

He, like parents, truly believe they have wings and start to have to do that. Peter Thiel would point out, they thought at least seem to have done and try selling it to the home team, I've become a function of two things: what they're getting, so they will fund you, they don't have a different attitude to the company's expense by selling them overpriced components. Only a fraction of VCs who can predict instead of just Japanese.

Many more than one who shouldn't? The Duty of Genius, Penguin, 1991. And it's particularly damaging when these investors flake, because she liked the iPhone too, of course. Certainly a lot is premature scaling—founders take a conscious effort to see.

I'm clueless or even why haven't you already built this? But becoming a police state. To get all you needed to read a draft, Sam Altman points out that taking time to come in and convince them.

If you walk into a pattern, as in most high schools. Philosophy is like math's ne'er-do-well brother.

There is a sufficiently long time for word of mouth to get significant numbers of people thought of them was Webvia; I swapped them to represent anything. Most of the 3 month old Microsoft presented at a famous university who is highly regarded by his peers. This approach has not worked well, so x% usage growth will also interest investors. An Operational Definition.

So it's not inconceivable they were offered were so new that the only result is higher prices. The problem is not generally the way starting a startup, and this is why search engines are so dull and artificial that by the investors talking to you.

Which OS? That's why the series AA terms and write them a check. Most unusual ambitions fail, most of his professors did in salary. Revenue will ultimately be hurting yourself, if an employer hired men based on their companies till about a related phenomenon: he found it easier to take math classes intended for math majors.

This too is true of nationality and religion as a single cause. It would help Web-based applications greatly to be obscure; they just kill you—when you say something to bad groups and they won't be trivial.

The key to wasting time building it. It's worth taking extreme measures to avoid sticking.

Anyone can broadcast a high product of number of big companies may be loud and disorganized, but this disappointment is mostly the ordinary sense. Think it's too obvious to us an old copy from the government. The problem in high school, and the editor, written in Lisp, though, because they had in grad school you always see when restrictive laws are removed. So during the 2002-03 season was 2.

If Ron Conway, for example, willfulness clearly has two subcomponents, stubbornness and energy.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #draft #li #company #kind #rest #effort #nationality #reason #pattern #investors #Web #efficiency #problem #Sam #sense #sup #state #users #professors #companies #work #applications #parties #police

[racingtoaredlight]

What else are you gonna do with your stupid life? College football watch ‘em ups for week 2 (officially) of the 2018 season

I’m all in on the rebirth of the run & shoot and don’t know if I have enough caring in me to write about every game this week. FUCK IT WE’LL DO IT LIVE!

Disclaimers about time zones and other sites and what the fuck ever go here. It doesn’t matter, we rake in like zero ad dollars from these posts.

This week is an oddity due to a lack of off-day games. Just one Friday and no others. I kind of wish every week was like this but I think this is the only one for the year.

Saturday, September 8

Matchup                                                     Time (ET)                 TV/Mobile

Arizona at Houston                                   12:00pm           ABC/ESPN2 (RM

Khalil Tate and Kevin Sumlin might just be a match made in hell. Ed Oliver has personally humiliated some great dual-threat QBs in the past but I don’t know if Tate is actually a threat through the air. Not sure what that means for the all-important stats.

Duke at Northwestern                               12:00pm                    ESPNU

Northwestern sucks. I’ll still root for them but they’re not good.

Eastern Michigan at Purdue                      12:00pm                      BTN

The nation’s leader in all-purpose yards at home against EMU? Hell yes.

Georgia Tech at USF                                   12:00pm              ABC/ESPN2 (RM)

I almost made a national champions joke but USF and UCF are actually different schools. Not by much, mind you. Based on one week against stiffs I have the impression this is a good year for the Ramblin’ Wreck.

Liberty at Army                                            12:00pm                       CBSSN

Army doesn’t even play a cool version of the option. This game is a pox.

Mississippi State at Kansas State              12:00pm                        ESPN

A bunch of guys who will play in the NFL next year are playing against each other for teams that will combine to lose 10+ games this year. This is a headache in a bag. I think I’d take KState +8 and the over of 54.5.

Nevada at Vanderbilt                                    12:00pm                        SECN

Oddly enough, I’d be totally into this one if Vandy were flying West for a 10pm kickoff. This version looks terrible, though.

New Mexico at Wisconsin                            12:00pm                         BTN

Can’t wait for Hornibrook to end up getting a Heisman invite. He’s Wisconsin’s answer to Gino Torretta.

Towson at Wake Forest                                 12:00pm                   ACCNExtra

I’ve always thought of it as “Nextra” but then I saw it written as ACCNE and now there’s no going back.

Western Michigan at Michigan                      12:00pm                        FS1

I know I’m stupid and crazy but I haven’t sold all of my Harbaugh stock just yet. I’ve heard about how he’s not a college coach and he’ll be back in the NFL next year but I can’t shake the feeling that he can still get things to click with just a little more time.

Georgia State at NC State                              12:30pm                       RSN

NC State lost a ton of talent to the pros this year and the next in line from QBU isn’t really as great as his offseason draft hype. Georgia State is absolutely going to beat the spread.

Holy Cross at Boston College                         1:00pm                     ACCNExtra

Somehow this battle for Boston reminded me of somebody explaining in excruciating detail about how BC isn’t in Boston and it just makes me hate that place and its people all over again.

UCLA at Oklahoma                                           1:00pm  ��                     FOX

UCLA generally doesn’t do very well in early games and Oklahoma’s talent level is very obviously higher than the Bruins at every position. I don’t know what point to make here. Hopefully Rodney Anderson gets more than 5 carries this week but he might not need to.

Air Force at Florida Atlantic                             2:00pm       CBSSN / Facebook

FAU got murdered by Oklahoma last week so I’m a little bit intrigued by how Lane bounces back. Vegas really likes the Owls but I’m not really sure why.

Portland State at Oregon                                 2:00pm                    Pac-12N

This is some high quality trash. I won’t watch it due to dumb circumstances but I’d enjoy it if I could.

William & Mary at Virginia Tech                       2:00pm                ACCNExtra

The Hokies looked pretty good against FSU. I forgot all about Josh Jackson since he missed the 2017 season but I think he’s a pretty good college QB.

Kansas at Central Michigan                            3:00pm                  ESPN Plus

What can you say about Kansas football without laughing maniacally?

Arkansas State at Alabama                             3:30pm                    ESPN2

Red Wolves vs. Crimson Tide should be some sort of rivalry. Bama looks every bit as good as expected so this will probably be a bloodbath. In red.

Ball State at Notre Dame                                 3:30pm                     NBC

Notre Dame gets to walk around like a top 10 team for now but a 7-point win over Michigan at home in a game that felt like a blowout doesn’t strike me as a springboard to a CFB Playoff berth. Brian Kelly is still a shitty murderer so fuck him.

Buffalo at Temple                                              3:30pm                    ESPN3

Tyree Jackson threw 6 TDs last week while Temple was losing to Villanova. The result? Temple is favored by 5. That seems wrong. Are there really people betting their hearts in what looks like a classic degenerate’s matchup?

Colorado at Nebraska                                       3:30pm                      ABC

Big 8 rivals square off in the first game (probably!) of the Scott Frost era. Smart money is probably on Colorado.

Georgia at South Carolina                                 3:30pm                     CBS

If Coach Boom is going to make the most of his great roster he needs to spring the upset here. That doesn’t seem crazy to me so look for UGA to win by 40.

Howard at Kent State                                        3:30pm                ESPN Plus

A bunch of 1-AA teams are in the watch ‘em ups for a second time this week but Howard is closest to my heart. Love the Bison to trample the Gun Girls.

Memphis at Navy                                               3:30pm                    CBSSN

This is the only game most years where I cheer against Memphis. I don’t have a great feeling about this Navy team, though, so my advice for you who are wondering is to put the mansion on Memphis to win by more than 6 and for the over to hit some time in the third quarter.

Morgan State at Akron                                      3:30pm                  ESPN Plus

I’ll leave this one to Soused.

North Carolina at East Carolina                       3:30pm                     ESPNU

This game was in the maybe watch column on SB Nation’s grid this week and I can’t comprehend why this is anything but AVOID!!!!! even if they don’t offer that designation.

Rutgers at Ohio State                                        3:30pm                       BTN

Ohio State is out here with a boatload of talent and a scheme that mostly runs itself in games like this. I wish all bad things on the Ohio State football program but they have some really great players that I don’t hate.

Wagner at Syracuse                                           3:30pm                 ACCNExtra

Eric Dungey’s quest for a rushing title continues.

ETSU at Tennessee                                            4:00pm                      SECN

Without looking I think Tennessee is probably favored. By too much.

Lamar at Texas Tech                                          4:00pm                 FSN / FSGo

I make jokes about Lamar being just some dude every year and it’s dumb but I can’t look at Lamar and not think it’s just some dude instead of a team.

Southern Illinois at University of Mississippi    4:00pm                     SECNA

What’s up with fixing the mascot name but not the other super racist allusion in your sports programs? Progress of some sort, I guess. This is a body bag game of the lowest caliber.

Iowa State at Iowa                                              5:00pm                      FOX

Potentially cool game at college football’s most heartwarming stadium. Nothing here not to love.

North Dakota at Washington                              5:00pm                  Pac-12N

Is this the same school that Carson Wentz went to? I’m not looking it up. A lot of you were all in on Auburn trashing UDub last week but that didn’t actually happen. Washington could still win 12 straight and end up back in playoff contention, even without their star LT.

Appalachian State at Charlotte                          6:00pm                ESPN Plus

Wild to think this is 1-A on 1-A.

Maryland at Bowling Green                                 6:00pm               ESPN Plus

It was funny to see Texas lose and all but let’s all remember to hate the fuck out of Maryland’s coaches and program from here to eternity.

Savannah State at Miami (FL)                             6:00pm               ACCNExtra

There is no reason for most people to give a shit about this game but I’m interested to see if the freshman QBs are really bad or if Mark Richt is just being way too conservative with his roster by starting Malik Rosier. My gut says nobody is worse for this team than Rosier. I know Ahmmon Richards, for one, agrees with me.

SC State at UCF                                                   6:00pm                  ESPN3

Here’s the national champs. Not gonna lose the winning streak here.

UMass at Georgia Southern                                6:00pm                 ESPN Plus

Now we’re getting into some good degeneracy. There are too many other games at this same time to really dive into this shitfest but it’s real as hell to me.

Youngstown State at West Virginia                     6:00pm                    ATTSN

I was looking at games on CBS Sports and they didn’t have a channel listed for this game. ATTSN = AT&T Sports Network, guessing a DirecTV exclusive? I love Holgo even if I kinda hate the Air Raid.

Eastern Kentucky at Marshall                             6:30pm                 ESPN Plus

Here’s another great backup game. I don’t know if anybody good is on either team this year.

Baylor at UTSA                                                     7:00pm     CBSSN / Facebook

Ugh. Fucking Baylor. Go the fuck away forever, Baylor.

Clemson at Texas A&M                                        7:00pm                      ESPN

Until about 5 years ago Clemson and aTm were actually the same program. Now Clemson is a legit 5-star program and I fucking hate it. Not enough to root for the Aggies, mind you. Talent watching is pretty good in this one but the idea of Jimbo Fisher falling flat on his face in Aggieland is too good not to dream about.

Florida A&M at Troy                                              7:00pm                  ESPN Plus

Let’s go Rattlers!

Indiana State at Louisville                                   7:00pm                 ACCNExtra

Petrino might be on the verge of sunsetting unless he flukes his way into another megastar. Louisville looks like the most ACC of ACC teams right now even though they have no business being in the conference. This should be an AAC team all the way.

Southeastern La. at LSU                                     7:00pm                    ESPN2

I want to whisper to all of you that LSU really isn’t all that good but I’m typing and you’re maybe reading it instead.

Southern at LA Tech                                            7:00pm                 ESPN Plus

Louisiana Tech is one of my pet stupid programs. I always think they’re one random star recruit away from becoming the next offense lab in college football. This probably isn’t the year, though.

Texas Southern at Texas State                           7:00pm              KNVA/ESPN3

If anybody has more than a gambling interest in this one I am dying to hear about it. Seriously. Explain yourself.

UAB at Coastal Carolina                                      7:00pm                ESPN Plus

Last week I insulted UAB’s football program and they went out and won 52-0, their first shutout victory in 10 years. So let me continue my campaign for them to drop the program again.

ULM at Southern Miss                                          7:00pm                 ESPN3

I don’t think I realized until right now that CUSA is the surviving shell of the old Metro Conference. I thought the Metro just died. Anyway, CUSA football is MACtion for degenerates. Meaning that I like it. This game got a shoutout on the NFL’s season opener so maybe it will draw an audience in the hundreds.

UT Martin at Middle Tennessee                           7:00pm               ESPN Plus

The Tee Martins are back! How does it feel to play football your whole life and go to college for football and then realize that you’re playing for the team that’s being paid to lay down to Middle Tennessee State? Not even like Wake Forest or somebody like that - worse! It still sounds kind of fun but embarrassing at the same time.

Wyoming at Missouri                                             7:00pm                  ESPNU

Drew Lock has some similar physical traits to Wyoming’s QB from last year but I think he’s gotten better coaching. Similar arm talent(!!!) at least. I don’t know about the raw athleticism which, no shit, Josh Allen has tons of. Anyway, Missouri should stomp all over Wyoming.

Samford at Florida State                                       7:20pm              ACCNExtra

The Bobby Bowden Bowl! The immediate reactions to Willie Taggert at FSU were loud and angry but he needs some time to sort through the weird mess that the team devolved into last year. I don’t think he can keep running the offense he had at USF with this roster, though, and he needs to figure that out quickly.

Alabama State at Auburn                                       7:30pm                SECNA

The Littlest Iron Bowl! Auburn is another team that didn’t look great to me in week 1. And they don’t have any obvious path to the playoffs.

Arkansas at Colorado State                                  7:30pm                CBSSN

This might be the farthest an SEC team has traveled for a regular season game this century.

FIU at Old Dominion                                               7:30pm          beIN SPORTS

Keep the faith in Butch Davis. It’ll turn out pretty well in the end. I think.

Fresno State at Minnesota                                     7:30pm                   FS1

I think CSU-Fresno had the highest point total in the country in week 1 but it came against 1-AA Idaho State. Yeah, I just wanted to drop a mention to Idaho State as a (once again) 1-AA team. This game is probably trash but it has the decency to be a dumb night game that nobody will notice unless it gets wild.

Incarnate Word at North Texas                               7:30pm             ESPN Plus

This is truly bottom of the barrel stuff but UNT does have the nation’s leader in passing yards per game!

Kentucky at Florida                                                 7:30pm                  SECN

UF is really heavily favored to win their 32nd straight against Kentucky but why? The line is only 14 but odds are weighted like 88% for the Gators to win. Kentucky sucks but doesn’t Florida?

Maine at WKU                                                          7:30pm             ESPN Plus

A lot of oddball evening games this week. I like it.

Utah at NIU                                                                7:30pm             ESPNews

Northern Illinois got blown out by Iowa last week. Utah looked like hell for the first 30 minutes against Weber State. I don’t have a point. Utah will probably win by 20.

Virginia at Indiana                                                      7:30pm                BTN

UVA and IU are more similar than dissimilar historically speaking. This game makes me annoyed just knowing that it’s going to happen and that it’s on Big Ten Network. Get your shit together, Hoos.

Western Illinois at Illinois                                          7:30pm                BTN

It would be so Lovie Smith to lose this game.

Cincinnati at Miami (Ohio)                                         8:00pm   Raycom / ESPN3

I agree with what Ohio State fans were saying a few years back: Luke Fickell sucks.

New Mexico State at Utah State                              8:00pm           Facebook

Facebook? For this one? Boo hiss. This is prime gambling athletics, nobody should be tracking you as you watch this one.

Nicholls at Tulane                                                      8:00pm              ESPN3

Nicholls! The Nicholls Nickels! Tulane doesn’t get a lot of easy wins but I think we can all agree with some bit of confidence that Tulane may suck loudly but they’re still better than Kansas.

Penn State at Pitt                                                       8:00pm               ABC

I have an unhealthy and unrealistic need for Pitt to win this game.

Sacramento State at San Diego State                     8:00pm             No TV (!!!)

What in the goddamn fucking hell is SDSU doing with no TV coverage in 2018? Christ almighty. This is hilarious.

South Alabama at Oklahoma State                          8:00pm                FSN

I wish South Alabama was good enough to at least put the fear of god in Okie State but they really aren’t. Expect a typical early season massacre from the Cowboys.

Southern Utah at Oregon State                                8:00pm             Pac-12N

What the hell is this?

Tulsa at Texas                                                             8:00pm                 LHN

Tulsa only beat Central Arkansas by 11 last week but Texas lost to Maryland. 23 points might be too much to expect for the Longhorns at this juncture.

USC at Stanford                                                          8:30pm                 FOX

The Pac-12 is known for two things: bad scheduling and bad referees. Also, bad defenses so that makes three things. This is bad scheduling. Why is the most marketable game of your whole conference year happening in week 2 at 8:30pm EST? This is absolutely moronic.

UTEP at UNLV                                                              9:00pm               ATTSN

Ever since it popped into my head last year or the year before I just can’t get over UNLV being confederate-themed. What the hell is that?

California at BYU                                                        10:15pm              ESPN2

This is actually beautiful scheduling which makes me think BYU came up with it themselves. Great uniform matchup even if both teams stink.

UConn at Boise State                                               10:15pm    ESPN2/ESPNU

Haha, UConn. What are you doing? How did this program actually make it to major bowl game in the last 10 years? They’re 31-point underdogs playing past their bedtimes against an OK-at-best Boise State team. This somehow feels earned.

Michigan State at Arizona State                               10:45pm               ESPN

Really not sure how Sparty agreed to this one but if I have one strong conviction from week 1 it’s that Herm Edwards should have stayed a TV talking head and left the coaching game to everybody else.

San Jose State at Washington State                         11:00pm           Pac-12N

Very fine watchin’ ‘em up here. You have to catch them all.

Rice at Hawai’i                                                              11:59pm          Spectrum

Spectrum is a station? Spectrum is a cable company. Anyway, Rice played Ed Oliver last week and now they have to face early RTARLsman frontrunner Cole McDonald. I’m cautiously bandwagoning for Hawai’i.

#football #college football #degenerate football #tv watch em ups #saturday post

[inthewordsofahalfgoddes]

Hmm the universe is really testing me fuck. Money money money u guess that's the focus now. Now I def can't move out not yet. Fuck. Why is my mom so selfish fuck if she had if waited a month and payed her part of the bill we wouldn't be in this situation ugh FUCK why ugh fuck I feel overwhelmed it isn't fair that everything is happening right now I'm gonna have to drop like all my money into the power again and water like fuck I'm terrible with money and shit but why are my parents worse then me????? Now everything I planned for has to be delayed again while I help them deal with this mess. Fuck FUCKKK I'm not even mad just sad like it's like they forget we have little children around. Food, power, water WiFi kids shouldn't have to worry about bills! Or that the basic utilities might not be around. This def is gonna take me over the edge I'm just so frustrated. No I can't get too fucked over all of this. I just gotta pick up more shifts and do what I haven't to do. I've had to pull money and solutions out of thin air before I can help fix this. You know what's funny this was in the reading I had. More burdens and responsibility will be put on me. I've been saying for a while now that I've reached a lvl of control on myself emotions and it's now being tested. Just gotta dig deep and do what's needed. This year was already predicted to be hard for me. That the change I want to see will be something I work for. From the jump tho 😂 the universe don't wanna play around ugh. Okay I gotta make whatever I make from this chart reading last for a bit and whatever I get from this check last too. I got whatever impulsive selfish buying I needed out of me the past December so now I should he good. Though I really wanted to buy a part with this paycheck it gotta go to food. Okay nah it's not all that bad tbh I'm just like overwhelmed so as long as I take it slowly and do the small things I'll work through it just puts a delay to what I want to do fuck. I still gotta wait for a call from avalon so I can start doing my counselling to get over the fucking rape, take extra shifts at work, pay the bills and really really be easy on myself. I'm trying and if I bully myself I'll fuck it all up. AA much as this news suck I'm happy I can finally release these emotions. I just want to curl in bed and do nothing but smoke and listen to music. I feel alone but I know I'm not I just gotta reach out I know that. This is gonna be a hard month but January is never east. I'm nappy batman been coming in my room in the mornings cause waking up to him purring is so soothing. I need to do a face mask and get ready for the reading. I still got a couple more signs to work through before I can head to her place. I got two more charts to draw up then I'll take a break from charts. Astrology has lost its charm a bit but I enjoyed meeting with people and taljjh about it with them. Oh what's soooo fucking funny is how everyone is bothering me now. Like all the people I left on read told that I don't wannabe hang around them or talk suddenly hits me up. You know I never believed the saying that they always come back but they literally do! Just leave me alone I can't stand men right now Jesus is the only one I'd even want to connect with. Hmm maybe it's because I feel weak right now that they hit me up now. If I was back to my old destructive says I'd prob respond cause I been feeling really lonely all I wanna do is have someone hug me do I can like cry and just like dump all my emotions out.I forgot how sad I actually am. Inside me just lives this very disappointed sad girl. But I gotta take care of her. All those crusty men just want to take from me anyway and I been knowing that. I hate when people fake care when all they want is some pussy honestly the fact that they hitting me up is making me so mad. I'm blocking then fuck them nah honestly the audacity. It ducks cause since the city not the biggest I know they see me travelling frim work and shit I'm so happy I got these headphones cause no ond wanna talk to me. I'm so mad abd the funny thing is most of them think im crazy ! It's so funny I'll be trying to idj treat them like a person and have conversation and they call me crazy for not assuming I don't wanna fucj! They're the crazy ones not me. I'm over here trying my best to live a good life and they like ugh I'm deading this right now. I'm not wasting my energy on it I've already wasted enough just writing about it. Okay I feel better. I know what I gotta do so imma do it. I feel the heaviness lifting. Good. When I get back I'm gonna do an inventory of my finances abd see what I'm working with. Capricorn gonna whip me into shape. I got until November to shoe the universe what I can do. I can do this I can handle it I might cry about it the ENTIRE way but I'm gonna get through it. I'm grateful everyone I love is alive and safe. I have a job that I can work at that I kove,peope who care about me and I'm alive. Be present be grateful be hopeful. A quick fuck you to that white boy who ruined new years for me and fucked with my gig. I hope he gets his karma abd regrets EVER fucking putting something in my drink. I'm so mad I even gave a window of oppritubity for it to happen. Never again nah I'm so mad a bit at myself for looking away for asec but mostly at the dumb ass who couldn't get me unless he had me unconscious. I'm ma's that I gotta deal with this. I'm mad that this happens to women and it happens often. In mad that my friends are all going through it. I'm just fucking mad I gotta be so on gaurd with people and I'm mad that people get upset when I'm cautious. I wish I didn't have to be so closed abdsuspicioys like I want to be trusting and kind abd soft but I can't! Only NY friends get to see that side because they would never try to hurt me. I don't deserve all this fucking nonsense but too bad thats bit how the universe works. Ugh htddgfrthhgddryyyrrguh I gotta charge my phone and do my face mask. Lmao my face a mess rift now! Gotta get cute before I go see Angarad. Such a pretty name I bet she's pretty too. I night of astrologyyessir. I wish I could just sleep tgo :-; I Jeep having terrible drereajs I can barely memba but I wwake up on high alert abd mad. Anywaysss

[pitz182]

How to Convince Yourself to Get Motivated for Sobriety

How do you convince yourself to get motivated for recovery and sobriety? How can a person who is stuck in addiction and struggling on a daily basis figure out how to dive into recovery and have the enthusiasm that is necessary to really make lasting changes?

What we are essentially talking about is two things: First, how does a struggling alcoholic break through denial, such that they can seek help? And two, how can a person who is in early recovery really dig into the program in such a way that they can ensure their own success? Motivation to get sober, and motivation to stay sober. How are these two forms of motivation acquired and retained?

Let’s talk about busting through denial first.

So the alcoholic is still drinking, still self medicating with booze and possibly other drugs, and they are stuck in the cycle of addiction. They want out, and they have wanted for their life to be different for a long time. Maybe they can even admit out loud that they are alcoholic. But something is still holding them back, because instead of picking up the phone and calling a rehab center they go buy another bottle every day and continue to self medicate.

So how do we go from being stuck at that level of denial to become willing to go to rehab?

I can best speak on this from my own experience, because I know what I was thinking and what I was telling myself when I was stuck in that place of denial myself. And what I was saying to myself internally were things such as:

“Why can’t people just understand that I have to drink alcohol and abuse drugs in order to be happy? That without self medicating I am going to be so miserable that it might drive me to suicide?”

“I feel sorry for people who don’t get high and party, because they are missing out on all the fun.”

“If other people had my problems, or if they had suffered the injustice that I had, they would drink and take drugs too.”

“Everyone else parties and gets drunk or high, everyone has some kind of outlet for themselves, some vice. I like to party and get drunk and high.”

As you can tell from these snippets, I was in denial because all of those statements contain things that are simply not true. “Everyone” does not abuse drugs or alcohol like an addict does. People who are sober are not actually missing out on all the fun, the exact reverse of this is more the case because the real addict is just stuck in isolation while self medicating, and they are the ones who are missing out. And so on. All of it is based on lies that we tell ourselves, and this is what defines our denial.

So how do we wake up from this dream, and realize the truth?

I think that before the struggling addict is going to even have a chance at working through their denial they have to suffer a certain amount of pain and consequences. So if you happen to be the friend or the family member of the struggling alcoholic, then your best bet is to get yourself to an Al-anon meeting so that you can learn how to set healthy boundaries. You cannot deny an alcoholic of their pain. In other words, if they are about to do something stupid because they are drunk and you are rescuing them from that consequence, then how are they ever going to learn any better?

Most alcoholics are in a self destructive mode and they are actually seeking out pain through their substance abuse. If you try to deny them of that pain then you are only slowing down the process for them and prolonging their addiction. Let them experience the pain that they are seeking so that it can help bring them out of denial quicker.

In other words, the alcoholic will seek help in sobriety once they have finally had enough pain. If you are rescuing them and reducing their consequences then you are prolonging this process of working through denial.

I finally surrendered when I had finally had enough misery and pain in my life and I was willing to face the fear of being totally clean and sober. I became willing to face the fear of going to rehab and being un-medicated because I was so sick and tired of being miserable. I just wanted everything to go away. I wanted the universe to collapse into nothingness and take me with it. And on top of all that misery, I was afraid as well. Not that I would admit to being afraid, but I was afraid. And every night I would medicate my fear away into numbness by drinking and taking drugs. That was the only way that I knew to live, to keep self medicating, to chase away my fear and anxiety.

My suggestion if you are still in denial is to start writing in a journal. Write down today’s date and then write down how happy you are in life and what you are feeling today. Then do it again tomorrow. Force yourself to keep writing down your feelings in a daily journal. If you are struggling with denial this exercise will help you to work through it.

Why?

Because you are forcing yourself to realize the truth when you put it down on the page. If you keep writing down your feelings then eventually your brain will be forced to realize the truth about your life and how miserable you are in spite of the drinking or drug use. Write it down every day and you force your mind to realize the denial you are in. At some point your brain will say “Going to rehab and AA and embracing sobriety may not be perfect, but it has to be better than this crap I am living through right now.” That is the moment of awakening. You cannot reach that moment if you are oblivious to the misery your addiction is causing you. So start writing it down every day, and wake up your brain.

Second of all, once you make the leap into recovery and you have attended a 28 day program and you are living in early recovery, you still need motivation in order to do the work. You still need to find motivation to go to meetings, to work the steps, to go see your therapist and be honest with them, and to explore healthy options for living like exercise, meditation, nutrition, and so on.

So where does this motivation come from in early recovery?

In my experience you have to gut it out for a while. Which is why it is important to make a commitment with yourself. To say to yourself “I am going to follow advice and directions for one full year, then I will re-evaluate my life.”

Then you keep your head down for one year and do what the sponsors, therapists, mentors, peers in AA, and so on, tell you to do. You simply follow through and keep doing the next right thing and then one day you will realize that you have made the leap into freedom. And suddenly you will be overcome with gratitude because you will realize that your success is now building on itself, and you no longer need to fake it, because you want to keep working your program of recovery because it is bringing you real joy. And that is the real miracle! Good luck.

The post How to Convince Yourself to Get Motivated for Sobriety appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.