#my earlier points on this blog

[fictionadventurer]

Sometimes I think I have run across all the types of nihilistic despair that exist in the world.

And then someone new tries to argue on one of my pro-life posts.

#went to bed late #woke up earlier than i wanted to and can't get back to sleep #check the tumblr for some mindless scrolling fun time #see reply attacking the pro-choice arguments post that in no way refutes any of my points #consider very briefly engaging with the stupidity #look at the blog bio #see that the person calls themself an anti-natalist #has an entire blog devoted to the concept that it is wrong to bring new life into the world #understand with expanding levels of dread that there is no earthly way to drag someone out of that level of despair #that they have purposely chosen and advocated for this absolutely hopeless worldview #and i do not in any way want this person interacting with me ever in my life #block immediately #and then start praying for their soul

[decolonize-the-left]

.

#“decol is spreading misinfo” im just forgetful and get confused with my words sometimes im sorry 😭 #literally can't stop thinking about how i fucked up defining communism earlier #im gonna need a refesher course so i can keep talking my shit 😭😭😭😭😭 #a bitch dissociates too much frfr #like sometimes it does cross my mind that my blog has grown bigger than i can be responsible for but like also... #my followers/muts are dope as hell and understanding and isnt that kind of understanding and humanization for ppl like me the Point? #idk i just think a lot and i hope i always stay this mindful of the space i hold. i dont want to ever do more damage than good while im here

[nervocat]

Guys I'm in a mood rn where I just wanna like. Go out into this stereotypical ethereal comforting forest and just walk around and collect rocks and stuff.. bring some binoculars for birdwatching perhaps as well!!

#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★ #Ik this is also probably a post that should be on my personal blog #as it rlly has nothing to do with here #but like #It's actually my dream to live in a forested area far enough away from ppl and towns so that the light pollution is low #I wanna stargaze :(( #like get a telescope and put it on a balcony JUST to do that #anyways um #rambles are probably over for the night guys #kinda tired ngl #was a pretty good day guys #(is still happy abt earlier) #also I feel like I get too excited when I'm referred to with masculine prns and stuff like #It's probably bc I almost never get called that bc like #my family and stuff #but like guys pls #I WILL be thinking abt it all day and beyond if you just say like uhhh he/him directed towards me #If that even makes sense #but yeah #I got rlly off topic there #but! #that's beside the point #um #gonna do my dailies and stuff in my games before bed #It's almost 9:30 pm but I'll be fiiinneee #It's a Friday anyways so :pp #I yap too much pls 😭😭

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

I lied about going to bed and against my better judgement decided to check the tag One Last Time before actually sleeping and okay I'm actually truly genuinely touched by the amount of people defending me and the poll and telling Certain People off for the ridiculousness that was my inbox today. I am going to bed on god fr now but. God. Thank you.

#sorry sorry ik this isnt haha funny or even me being mad at stuff #if you dont follow my like MAIN main (not my asking blog. like my actual main) but i was um #i was actually upset to a point of tears earlier #partially bc i hadnt eaten a lot partially bc im very tired #(i have since eaten dw) #but i was. yk. upsetti spaghetti as the kids say #i spent WAY too much energy today deleting asks which shouldnt take more than like a second #but hundreds of them make for hundreds of seconds yk. and its a lot. #but the tag rn is both people having fun (WHAT I WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE) #and people defending me. and its genuinely just so touching and so much #thank you. from the bottom of my heart and soul thank you.

[enkidusbi]

quick somebody say something inspiring that will make me care about finishing my degree again

#earlier this week i had a talk with my project colleagues & thesis supervisor prof. it went....... bad #and i dont know if i still see a point. in any of this #i know i usually cry about irl stuf on my main blog but this is tangential to. everything. #anyways if you have advice on how to stop feeling utterly miserable bc 'i wanted this!!!'. feel free to share. #uh delete later #pls dont reblog

[void-botanist]

I have come to some conclusions about Marcus and his story that I think are going to pay off.

In AOM:

He and Horatio don't have a romantic thing going on but they are extremely cuddly friends which also makes them the perfect pair for Sid to misinterpret. Which I think is a useful setup for Sid's whole deal and also gives me the soft nonsense I desire

Sid probably still ends up hiding at Sorian's house but for any kind of long-term parent evasion he would have to go to Marcus's because his parents would never look there. Still looking for a good excuse to make that happen. Sid and Marcus should also be friends and not just in a "thanks for testing my hair dye" kind of way

In Marcus's own as-yet-unnamed story:

In previous versions his love interest was a Hallmark-movie businesswoman type who was learning to pay attention to her own needs and desires, so that when Marcus was forced to tell her his deep dark secrets it was like she was getting her hard-won happiness stolen away from her. But I don't want to write that anymore and I want a story that is more about both of them. So I present to you:

Love interest is the bat-eared fox shifter I mentioned earlier, named Heith (for now at least - I might change my mind but that was her name in the last version). They're a traveling punk singer who is touring Aephar. Probably they look badass as fuck when shifted because that's a lot of ear real estate for piercings.

As they start to form a romantic connection Marcus is constantly worried that she's not gonna like some aspects of his life that he's not willing to give up/compromise on, like the aforementioned friendship with Horatio. But she keeps being so chill about everything, like nothing is ever a problem to her, and he slowly accepts that maybe this whole "finding love in a faraway system" thing isn't so hard.

This was the end of their tour, but Heith keeps putting off going home and her band leaves her behind to go back to whatever island they came from (believe it or not Imni and Aephar are not the only islands on Rade). She doesn't seem bothered by this either. It starts to become clear (at least to the reader) that whenever things get hard, she just dips from relationships, but things haven't gotten hard with him yet.

But then (spoilers I guess?) a military escort ship arrives from Iecunem and Marcus has to explain that the general belief that he was escaping shitty parents or a shitty job or maybe even the law when he left Iecunem is only a sliver of the story. His awful manipulative mother is now dead, and he's the heir to her kingdom. Not only that, but he has multiple spouses there and multiple children that are legally considered his. He tries to explain the complexities of this and that he'll be right back after he goes to the funeral and abdicates to his sister, but it doesn't seem like Heith is going to wait that long to disappear.

And this time, no one would really blame her if she did. This is a lot of stuff to suddenly digest. But she's also been here long enough to have considered not just running away. At the eleventh hour she shows up at the warp station to join Marcus on his trip back to Iecunem. Horatio high key had not realized that Marcus had only intended to take one other person on this trip, but when Marcus insists that he stay and take care of their collective plants instead of going to Iecunem he's also kind of relieved because he doesn't really trust anyone else with them.

Shifters taglist: @outpost51 @kk7-rbs

#obv some other stuff happens after that but I haven't decided on it #but I have the story concept to a point that it can just hang out in my mind for when I feel like writing it #Horatio wrote a book's worth of extremely specific instructions for Sid. that boy knows nothing about plants but he can follow directions #I wrote this earlier today and then said to myself no I can't post this. I've been on tumblr so much lately I'm worried about being annoyin #ON MY OWN BLOG. smh my head #anyway I wonder what lucky old ocs will get recycled into Heith's bandmates. probably Chet Val & Rocky #c: Marcus #c: Horatio #c: Heith #wip: aom #wip: iecunem

[ave-rexligni]

🌻 PRAISE ✨ THE 🎇 SUN 🌞

#solaire of astora #siegward of catarina #miniature painting #dark souls #dark souls 3 #dark souls 1 #miniature #sunbois 😍🌻🌞✨🌞 #this is the actual siegward model from the phantoms expansion (not catarina armour from earlier in my blog) #i wanted to give siegward a very rusted and beaten up but still soldiering-on sort of look here #next time i get an onion knight i want to try painting pure silver... maybe as nmm if i am not too bad at it by that point #thank you for liking my minis guys check out my eygon too 🥺🥺🥺

[sennqu]

the sticking point for me is like....a lot of the IH takes are based on subtext. so it's kind of...like, he's doing these things because of IH. it's not, "it's IH because he's doing these things".

the thing is, it's hard to accept if you're a byler shipper but Mike does think he is in love with el. That is what the text is telling us. What the text is also likely telling us is that his love isn't romantic, but Mike doesn't know that.

just wrote these like stream of consciousness style so, ya know. kinda messy. but here we go, a play by play complete with examples from the text! because i like to base my analysis from the text.

he's afraid of his feelings for will. where? when he defended will's honor against homophobic bullies? when he stayed up to wait for will waking up? when he says he was the only one who cared about finding will? when he stayed with will for days at his home and the hospital? when he held will's hand? when he, as we keep saying, keeps making heart eyes at will?

he doesn't know what he feels about will but unconsciously feels it is "wrong". where? when he told will his girlfriend and will's savior wasn't a stupid girl? when he asked will if he really thought they wouldn't have girlfriends and grow up because will was being childish about insisting on playing a game while his friends were worrying about their girlfriends? when he and will spent a day at the cinema next to each other and mike's only moment of discomfort was when he thought will wasn't ok? when mike was angry at will for not reaching out more after moving to cali? when he told will "it's not hawkins without you"? "i feel like i lost you"? when he immediately goes to hug his mom after the byers and el move away?

ok so he doesn't want to break up with el because he's afraid of hurting her. when he insensitively told her "she didn't look fine" after she physically assaulted angela? when he told el, "you're being ridiculous"? Mike tries not to intentionally hurt people but he's not above thinking he's in the right and acting on that impulse.

he wants to stay with el because he wants to be normal. when he already thinks he doesn't deserve her? when he thinks el doesn't need him? what is it about him thinking he can't even be the lois lane to el's superman makes you think this guy is gunning for normal? he's insecure because he IS normal. and el's a superhero

mike wants to stay with el because he loves her and doesn't want to lose her in his life. it's not about thinking el fixes him or about thinking el needs him to stay to be happy. mike wants to stay with el because he believes he's in love with her but is afraid el doesn't need him and may even realize she's now beyond him. he practically spells this out for us in S4. he only begins to regain his confidence when he thinks el needs him after all. because of will. whose feelings he doesn't know. because he thinks they're el's.

mike's monologue is him trying to tell el he loves her in the way he thinks she'll understand and appreciate: praising her superheroism because that is what he thinks she wants and because that's what he loves about her. then why did he hesitate? because he was still insecure about her being a superhero and him just being some guy. one pep talk isn't gonna magically fix his insecurity. then why the cliches? because he thinks she'll understand that better? because he doesn't actually know her beyond these cliches? because he doesn't realize his romantic love for her is superficial?

bonus: "then what about the kiss in front of the open closet? he obviously looks like he doesn't love her there. plus, you know. open closet" he looks like he was surprised. literally that was it. he and el don't talk about their relationship for 3 months and she suddenly goes "ILY too muah" before she moves away. his ex tells him she loves him back 3 months later just before she moves. what does he do with that? he's only like 14 years old.

#ku blarghs #strangely blogging #contrary to popular belief i was not angry while writing this lmao #i'm just trying to get everything out #ku why do you care about this so much? why not. defending mike against IH allegations is a good mental workout #also not all people deal with IH. people are saying they see their own IH experience reflected in him #i say i see my own dumbass oblivious self in him. and i think the text sides with me. #but truly in the grand scheme of things it just doesn't matter #since we don't actually 100% know where S5 is going to take us #but so far. text points to oblivious mike. and it's a hill i'm willing to die on #you gotta pick your silly battles #byler #like why not. i was already asking for it earlier lmao

[tvrningout-a]

i should've switched to writing original stuff ages ago bc i could've been overcoming writer's block if i did :' )

#connecting mine and vee's lore in written form is something i've wanted to do forever bc i love love love gaia and kaiya's relationship!! #but i had a mental block towards bio's for... man i dunno how long tbh #i always got really stuck with them which is why i started doing bullet points where i could jot down all my thoughts #but i should have just?? been unafraid to write lengthy bio's i think #and then i could've done fun stuff like this way earlier!! without feeling stuck and slow!! #like honestly i don't even care about the people who won't bother to read my bio's bc those probably aren't the people who will #end up writing with me #i always avoided lengthy bio's bc i didn't wanna inconvenience someone #but how is it inconveniencing if i'm trying to make something interesting and enjoyable to read? #how is it inconveniencing if i'm just?? writing about my muses?? it's silly to water down my creativity and i'm sorry i did it now #now pls know i can give you the tldr on any of my muses bio if you need it asdfgh but i'm gonna just!! do what's fun for me from now on #that's gonna be a very important rule i need to enforce for myself with this blog move #no more doing things that make it harder for myself bc i'm worried about other people #there needs to be a balance and that's what i'm gonna keep in mind going forward uvu #so sorry for the rant oh my gosh asdfgh i just got to thinking and truly my writer's block has not bothered me with dorverold stuff #like it has in the past for other things and i think it's how i've approached writing and world building aka not worrying about length #if i'm struggling it's because i'm tired or busy #ANYWAY ASDFG i promise i'm going to bed now :' ))) good night!! #get ready to ramble | ooc

[theygender]

If I reblog anything weird please feel free to alert me, I'm currently sick and on medications that make me drowsy/confused so some things are not fully processing for me when I read them

#reblogged a post earlier like telling people to stop being mean if they want friends and i thought it all seemed okay #but i guess my brain turned off after the line that was like #'the worst case scenario is actually not that you end up alone but that you end up with other mean people' #bc i didnt realize that it directly followed that up with 'and end up a drug addict' until one of my followers just pointed it out ☠️ #so. thank you to the follower that pointed that out. i cant remember your username unfortunately #we do not demonize addicts in this household so i have deleted the post #but if anyone else notices any weird stuff like that on my blog feel free to let me know bc it almost certainly was not on purpose #i maybe shouldnt be on tumnlr rn but its easier than playing video games #and watching youtube/tv/etc just keeps making me fall asleep :( #rambling

[thevoidable]

So just in case y’all were wondering why I’ve been so quiet lately-

I seem to have been possessed by a demon

I’ve been working on a massive ThingTM in the background these past few months and I have no idea if this project will even see the light of tumblr because I’m awful at finishing WIPs due to hyperfixation parkour

But this is the most I’ve written in over a year

and it’s not even prose

it’s planning

21k words of profiles and outlines and worldbuilding notes and it’s not even done yet

What the fuck am I doing

#anyway if this ever reaches a point where i'm ready to start posting shit i'll most likely be making a second blog for it #the biggest thing i've worked on in a while and it's for the teenage mutant ninja turtles #i got super into the 2012 show way back when s4 was still airing but then kinda fell out of it for a long while #then i discovered rise of the tmnt earlier this year and got dragged full force back into the fandom #soooo rest in piss to my halo fixation i guess lmao #i still love the games obviously but i just do not have the motivation to write for them atm #so turtle content it is

[hxlcyon]

i need more piercings

#or earrings #it's a guilty pleasure at this point lmfao #i'm finally like. this year doin things for myself #okay that sounds different than what i mean #i mean like. realizing OH i can do that and then just do it #ie like work on health or like GET actual working hair products #this counts piercings and hair dye which is why im going bonkers with it #uhmmm i was gonna sa #oh right #working on writing! that's something i can do now! i can do that! the thing i enjoy! #it took TWO hours for me to begin TO write earlier today #and i did! #i do this thing with writing where i word vomit the like. script version of things #so i did 2k of that! for a comm #then i did 3k of that for a fic! #then my vn! i added lil details! im hopefully gonna organize the story more soon #well. blog i mean. well. both i suppose at this point

[welcometogrouchland]

Something nice needs to happen. Soon

#ramblings of a lunatic #not even to me. just in general #i have not escaped any of the earlier feelings i have been journaling (re: publicly blogging) about on here #i am still weirdly insecure abt my hobbies and abilities rn to the point of actual tiredness. still cursed with eepy disease. etc etc #BUT. i finished off a big important paper and im gonna chip away at my assignments #i think I'm gonna rewatch some comfort stuff over the weekend when i get the chance #and post reqs #and. okay u guys don't need a play by play of my weekend plans #there's really not much going on? there??? #i think i need some kinda enrichment. maybe. maybe also a big cry over nothing. still yet to be determined

[solarisposting]

having thoughts. shhh

#mainly about how some Thing i liked a few years ago was dubbed Problematic Media by the Tumblr Moral Committee #and i rushed to scrub my blog of all traces of it. and this was like 2019 so i actually tagged it and all #bc i was SO scared i was going to be discovered for hqving consumed and enjoyed the Unforgivable Piece Of Media Of The Month #yeah basically this site is so goddamn dumb sometimes. still won't post aht the thing at all bc i know it'd be A Thing #and it's like....SUCH a small nonissue of a fandom lmao but lord the anger was intense #anyway yeah now anything i like has to go thru fifty mental checks before i post about it to make sure i'm not being irredeemable or whateve #sometimes...this website and the people on it and even friends i have at some point loved on it...are dumb as shit and annoying as hell #i'm also dumb as shit and annoying as hell <3 #idk i read something mentioning this greater internet phenomenon earlier and it reminded me of this and was quite annoyed

[usodeshou]

OMG HOW COME I DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAVE MY GIFSET OF THE COOLER SCENE PINNED ON YOUR BLOG???? that’s such an important detail!!!! akdkskdks 🥺🥺 i’m really glad you like it!!! ❤️💙

Of course I do!!! 🥺❤️❤️ You made that for me and it has all the glowing hands and akktheo being adorably oblivious while literally flirting that I could have ever hoped for and it's so beautiful and I'm happy that this is the first thing I get to see whenever I switch from my dash to my blog, it never fails to make me smile 🥰🥰🥰

#wish I'd known about being able to pin posts much earlier cause there's so many I would have pinned before #maybe they'll have to get their turn eventually #wish I could pin more than one post but maybe it's good I can't because that could quickly make my blog become unreadable lol #wish I could have an extra page in my blog that I could specifically pin the posts to that are extra special to me #not like the general favourites page from where you like things #not like my blog where everything I reblog ends up #not a separate tumblr with its own name #an actual extra tab for pinning my favourites that I can reblog from to my blog if I feel like it #and this post would go on it #as well as pouty!akk and theo-distracted-by-akk's-lips-while-he-talks #and the zhou zishu hands post and that wenzhou reverse gif post that makes me go feral every single time #all of the posts that pop up in my brain on a regular basis and wish I didn't have to battle with tumblr's search function first to find #that being said I should probably come up with a proper consistent tag for those that helps with the search #wth didn't I think of this earlier?? 🙈😂 #I'm just rambling at this point ignore me please 😆 #usoanswers #laowen

[crystalkleure]

@ DID/OSDD anon, I’m sorry but I cannot keep answering asks like these because I have to post them publicly. These are extremely loaded subjects you keep touching on and me discussing them on my blog, no matter what I even say, will attract people wanting to start massive fights in my notifications about it.

#This is a type of conversation that would need to happen through DMs #I'm deeply uncomfortable having said even as much as I already have about the matter because I don't want a lot of attention on me for it #People were doxxing eachother over these things very recently #It's really not safe for me to talk about these things in public. At least not right now. #I don't want to get called slurs and sent graphic threats that may be credible. No one ever figured out HOW the doxxers were doxxing people #.It speaks #.Maxim 🎩 #I'm going to delete that other ask I posted because it is going to bring me extreme trouble no matter how much I beg to be left alone #I am desperate for peace on my blog. I don't get much IRL so I gotta have it here. #I like science and block ableists and transphobes and that's the most I'm willing to state publicly on the subject at this point #I want to talk about anime #That being said; since I'm about to nuke the link I posted earlier: #did-research.org is still one of the best sources of quick and comprehensive info on dissociative disorders #I'd recommend getting your basic info from there rather than from me anyway because it's written so well I'd pretty much just quote it all