#as it rlly has nothing to do with here

[nervocat]

Guys I'm in a mood rn where I just wanna like. Go out into this stereotypical ethereal comforting forest and just walk around and collect rocks and stuff.. bring some binoculars for birdwatching perhaps as well!!

#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★ #Ik this is also probably a post that should be on my personal blog #as it rlly has nothing to do with here #but like #It's actually my dream to live in a forested area far enough away from ppl and towns so that the light pollution is low #I wanna stargaze :(( #like get a telescope and put it on a balcony JUST to do that #anyways um #rambles are probably over for the night guys #kinda tired ngl #was a pretty good day guys #(is still happy abt earlier) #also I feel like I get too excited when I'm referred to with masculine prns and stuff like #It's probably bc I almost never get called that bc like #my family and stuff #but like guys pls #I WILL be thinking abt it all day and beyond if you just say like uhhh he/him directed towards me #If that even makes sense #but yeah #I got rlly off topic there #but! #that's beside the point #um #gonna do my dailies and stuff in my games before bed #It's almost 9:30 pm but I'll be fiiinneee #It's a Friday anyways so :pp #I yap too much pls 😭😭

[olasketches]

I know sukuna is often praised for his beliefs and the wisdom he "bestows" on others and as much as I love the guy and all the impactful dialogues he had with characters like jogo or yuuji, I also think he’s got to be the one of the most childish characters with mindset a of a 13 year old.

#“I can do whatever tf I want because no one can stop me” #“also love is worthless” honestly this sort of attitude just sounds rlly childish to me #also sukuna is known for loving games like that time he said “no one is allowed to move till I say so if you break that rule Ill kill you” #or “let's have a fire power battle” or “wanna race brat?” #dude you're the biggest brat here #but don't get me wrong just because he has a childish mindset doesn't mean #that his beliefs and the wisdom he possessed have suddenly no value or have nothing to teach us #Id even argue that his confidence egoism and self centred attitude go hand in hand with his child like mentality #that's what helped him remain at the top #ryomen sukuna #I FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFT #I might delete this later idk yet

[pup-pee]

y does it feel so SO wrong 2 share ur opinion???

#oh u solved the problem #urself! #like its not even about bing right or wrong its just about literally communicating & i think im doing it BAD #IM NOT AFRAID OF BING “H8ED” ON I JUST #i think i just dont like having the chance of making ppl feel bad? #or soemthing aloong those lines? #theres a line a vry easy line 2 cross #like expressing a comic book opinion right? bc its super easy 2 sway a bunch of ppl #but if ur saying smth u dont like it while some1 does it has the possibility of making that person feel bad #& I H8 THAT...idk y it makes me feel like shit????? @ the possibility??? #this feels like smth i should bring up w/a therapist LMAOOOOOOO #but like same thing when i was in class right? giving a presentation i got RLLY SCARED 2 do it bc i was giving an opinion or a fact BUT I #COULD B WRONG ON THE FACT!! which is y i just never did them bc i would cry lol but its just #it kinda feels the same way #its weird bc im fine w/getting shit wrong. its only when i share an opinion when i feel stupid??????? ok not stupid just mean? i think? yea #this is possibly the reason y i get nervous sharing hcs or aus. bc it wont b “canon accurate” & then will like fuck up some1s perception id #its not like any1 reads this lashfkj i just hmmmmmmm theres defiantly smth i should b discovering here i just am not... #i want 2 share my opinion bc its a fucking opinion theres nothing wrong w/it bc its not a fact EXCEPT in the way its a fact of how i FEEL o #THINK?? like its just its strange. i think this has a lot 2 do w/me never bing listened 2 as a child LOL uhhhhhhhh hmmmmmm yeah prolly akj #I FIGURED IT OUT I GOT IT ALLLLLL UNLOCKED #god i hhhhhhhhhhh some1 make a clone of me so i can talk 2 me like a therapist or smth #this is y i cant do therapy actualyl its bc i just keep yapping then by the time im done the therapist always went tyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy #srry ramblings

[lqfiles]

also really wanna say thank you for this milestone, ngl i never expected to reach this since i was barely active at one point but i’m very gratefully ⭐️ love all of you and really appreciate you guys! i will continue to provide low quality files!!

#this was meant to fr be just be a writing dump blog where i post and the dip (it still is) #i’m surprised i got mutuals on here #deeped it yeah and out of these followers there are a handful that followed me for each different writing i made i think that’s so cute #like some maybe followed me for the jaemin no limits writing or maybe renjun oblivious or chenle boyfriend duties or nothing but love for u #or maybe the dating x series or score that goal (where most of you came from i’m sure) #or maybe even the headcanons i used to make #i just think it’s something really cute like each individual has a piece they enjoyed enough to follow if makes me happy 🥹 #i rlly do try to be interactive with everyone i swr i hope my mutuals aren’t scared to talk to me #let me stop rambling and try to be mysterious again

[woolydemon]

for ppl that know my tf fan lore you would think I'd be ryu/kita pilled since I was blur/bee CEO but actually I was driven by my shock/bee instincts to be drawn to ake/kita instead <- none of these words are in the bible

#THERES A METHOD TO MY MADNESS #ok ok ok. ryu/kita. its the spunky bro electric yellow guy and the autistic weird blue guy. thats straight up blur/bee and i admit it #THE BLUE GUY IS EVEN TALLER THAN THE YELLOW GUY. ITS SO BLURBEE #but like for me. i def enjoy ryu/kita a lot but it doesnt make me crazy like blurbee does. nor ake/kita #BUT LIKE OK. THIS IS WHERE ME SAYING AKE/KITA IS LIKE SHOCK/BEE GETS INTO INSANE PPL TERRITORY #ok . for one. ermmmmmmm. shockwave .... was my first goro. #bc he has the whole. false identity meant to decive vs true identity as a villain thing. like gorby #and also i admit. i do have my v specific fan interpretation of him that makes him more sympathetic BUT ALSO THATS LIKE JUST ME. #ITS NOT IN CANON. IM AWARE OF MY DELUSION. i have fun though its ok. i separate fan interpretation from canon text. i have media literacy #the real insane part though is trying to explain why yusuke takes on a bee role. #to preface its not matching in personality. at all. they are nothing alike #its not the personality thats key here. its the role and dynamic he specifically has with shockwave #in which hes kinda a more lighter character that often gets religated as comic relief in the source material #but does have a genuine depth to him that could be taken more seriously but that usually gets ignored #and paired up with the antagonist guy with conflicting identity he pulls out a better side from them #and also they have the capacity to be sooo crazy dramas and toxic yaois and redemption like. whatever. #IM INSANE. IM INSANE IM INSANE. GOD . #i . i . i . im.... idk man i love dynamics #shock/bee still isnt like my top tf:a rarepair. but also ryu/kita isnt my top personba 5 pair . for some inexplicable reason #when i rlly enjoy both these kinds of dynamics but then sometimes it clicks with me more with certain character and a lil less with others #im a complex inexplicable enigma. but also maybe some characters just make it work better for me #i think largely overall though #im drawn to dynamics that have a hint of smth in the source and are expanded upon more in transformative material #anyway blah blah blah all that though #the real consistency is i keep having the same favorite character in stuff and its the blue autistic guy #rando thoughtz

[malikselfindulgence]

GWEN STACY LOVERS SQUAD LET'S MFING GOOOOOOOOO🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼🤝🏼

GWEN STACY YOURE MY FUCKIN EVERRYTTHINNGGGG !!!!!! 🤝🤝🤝🤝 any iteration of gwen stacy Ily forever and Always but astv's gwen being canon trans is very Important and dear to me

Old Ass comic sketch from Blaze's spidersona days we never finished :[

#gwen stacy #spidersona #IDK WHAT TO TAG #i couldnt actually watch astv in cinemas since it got banned here BECAUSE of teh trans flag thing #WHICH FUCKING. UGGH^!!&!!!! #it getting banned didny bother me as much as the reception to that did #like ok i was mad obv. but it didnt personally upset me? ofc they were gonna ban it #but watching friends and family around me go GOOD we dont want those dirty queers in our media anyways #they should respect our beliefs and cut that out! not include it at all! #was like rlly. rlly upsetting. ok sorry for ranting in tags this has nothing to do w gwen stacy #we had two verses of our spidersona where one would end up as meee and one would end up as blaze #so first vers ME!! I stick with Gwen and she doesnt leave for the scholarship and she dies #second vers Blaze and Gwen have an arguement and Gwen leaves for the scholarship. BUT DIES THERE ANYWAYS #our spidersona was kinda average like compared to everybody else's but . I heart Him shes a silly goober :3 #malik's asks #ME X FORGETTING MY TAGS

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

If I changed my name would you guys think I was cringe

#I’m not gonna *change it* change it just like add it #go by sage and also this #posting here cause a) it’s more relevant here b) my mutuals who only follow my main don’t need to see this and c) cause I can #no one tell my irl friends about this 🔫 I stg #I’m not gonna tell you what it is either you’ll just have to fuck around and find out I suppose #10piecetalks #rlly quick I am gonna add smth to my bio but it has nothing to do with this post #live-blogging my descent into madness

[forffax]

kaito kuroba my bastard boy I want to dropkick him. lovingly but also in a can u please be fucking normal way zgxhzgs

#LIKE I DO THINK HE DOES GET BETTER OVER MK. BUT MAN. #once more im just sitting here like. ohhh mk i like you but u are just so unbearable sometimes </3 #detco posting #txt #literally take out the perv jokes and nothing of substance is lost. it would b so much better actually #AND U KNOW. SHINICHI WAS KIND OF A LIL SHIT AT FIRST TOO. BUT AT LEAST HE'S GROWN. kaito i feel has rlly not had that chance #prolly in part due to like. only 5 volumes. 😔 #gshdhsgs watched some of the mk specials w/nox tonite #i would like to see akako and hakuba my friends..... #like MAN sorry 2 keep goin on abt this but there's POTENTIAL for mk to be Really Really good n it's just kinda. held back by #The Bullshit. u know? #mutuals and ppl im following i trust yall's opinions n interpretations of the characters more than cannon gsdbgsshs. yall get it <3

[thedevotionaltour]

we have got to switch it up as a fandom stop defending and praising charlie to your last breath and become a ben and rex fan like those of us who know better and have far more fun

#i will defend affleckdevil forever I DONT CARE!!!! HE WAS FUN. DIE BY MY BLADE OVER DISAGREEMENT. and we all know how i feel about rex #static.soundz #also i will allow myself to be an insane asshole here. i DO in fact think both of them look better than the other guy. #no hate to charlie. he's fine. he is just soooo nothing though and i haaaate his fanbase. tainted by heterosexuality in such a way i get #the ick when i see him so literally i wish i was kidding. like he's literally fine but i feel so Ew when i see him bc of the association 😭 #the other two i think were styled better. even if rex rlly didnt have anything done for him i still like him more in appearances for matt #mainly bc i think he has THE perfect smile and smirk down for him. highly wonderful. #also his jaw and nose. overall he had a nicely matched face shape and features #so i can willingly accept and ignore the lack of red hair im ok with it bc it balances out. #ok im done now im sorry to be in haterville. i just like them more.

[swordmaid]

love to imagine yves being particularly antagonistic towards orin. i mean, she's a high priestess of bhaal and his chosen, quite literally god's favourite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. she'd be tormenting orin 24/7 that the whole amnesia and scooping her brain out ordeal was well deserved.

and i think the moment she gets her memories back, she'd be howling!! laughing!! having a little giggle to herself!! finally orin does something remotely competent! but once again she fucked up big time and didn't kill her outright now yves has to put her back into her place again ❤️😔

#my character inspo for her is like lucille crimson peak and portal 1 glados ... #like i think she has a very calm albeit sinister demeanor... she says very condescending stuff in a very bored way. #dead three era/peak bhaalspawn era yves was very jaded abt everything. like her characterization is very based on that note you find in the #underdark where they talk abt how bhaalspawns feel euphoria when they kill people. so it's like that for her crank it up to 100x so she #doesnt rlly care abt anything bc nothing compares to when she's doing her ritual killings for bhaal </3 #so when she gets her amnesia and she forgets abt the killing euphoria she actually develops a personality for once lol #i also hc that she feels that euphoria again on the act 1 durge scene but it ended up scaring her bc it felt /too/ good #and it made her hesitant to listen to the durge bc she knows what she felt is NOT normal #also being a kelemvor cleric she's not supposed to be happy abt death wtf .. so she's like what is going ON here ...

[tonycamonte]

#went 2 a party + i feel like dirt like idk i feel so ugly + gross + at the same time i feel like ive gotten less ugly since i came out + #i look better as a guy but i still feel. not good + also party was at my family friends house + we were lookin @ pictures from when we #were kids like 8-14 ish and ughhhhh im so weird looking + also i was so skinnnyyy then i wanna die........................................ #like theres a photo of me + two friends + ummmmmmmm i just want to die im sorry this is majorly stupid idk what im talking about #+ i just feel like me + my best friend have nothing to talk about + i have no friends + it has 2 be my fault because im like. the only #common factor in nobody liking me + i just feel like shit!! and i dont want to be like whiny and annoying and ugly and unfunny but im #not doing it on purpose............ ughhhh like ive changed so much in 2 yrs bc i was like whatever im doing is making people not like me + #i felt weird so i was like im just gonna change rlly hard + like i dont think its that easy but i am different bc i keep my mouth shut more #+ now i feel like i was more likeable before i hated myself + tried to be someone else but its like an endless cycleeeeee #whatever im just so miserable + at least when i was like more suicidal + fucked up i felt smart + less ugly #and also i hate my family + i dont want to live here + i hate my town but i dont want people to not like me but i do + i just feel like i #ruined my life............ #ANYWAY IM FINE THOUGH. im goin to bed + everythings gonna be ok in the morning 🕊️ #✉️

[myownprivatcidaho]

helped set up my crush (one of my closest friends) for a job (helping with his resume + putting in a good word (bc its a job only for history majors which is such a white major and hes Hispanic with mostly manual labor on his resume and i wanted him to get a good job he could study during that would help him in the future with scholarships, grad school, and other jobs hed want that a history degree hardly helps obtain and i was worried this guy with great skills for the job would get overlooked & passed up in favor of Cracker McAnglo) and it was an INSTANT hire my boss loved him)(and now we're coworkers)) and i was ranting to my friend yesterday about how i feel like my crush takes me for granted and im so fed up by a bunchve things he does instead of being direct that it got to the point on wednesday evening right after he got the job i blocked his number (hard to tell if hes noticed yet). and ive put my foot down and its STAYING down. then i saw him in the hallway just now and his eyes lit up and he smiled and waved and i was like dawwwww ;------;. mayb i should unblock him . do i realllllyyyy have to have boundaries

#hes a sweetheart and theres never been an issue i havent been able to talk to him about. he listens and he apologizes with ease & sincerity #where apologies are due. it just aggravates me bc it feels like he doesnt realize how MUCH effort i put into him #and its not to get him to like me its like its stuff i WANT to do but it bums me out bc the effort doesnt get returned #like this really has nothing to do with crushing on him its just that in this regard he hasnt been a great friend and its really worn me ou #but he has dimples and a cute smile and when he got excited just now he smiled and waved like a little kid #so rlly whos to say the best course of action here. 🤷 #also i should clarify feelings are returned. things are just iffy bc we're friends 🧍

[cryptid-moose]

when u should rlly get off the internet for your mental health but you literally have nowhere else to go:

#woah its vent time #i am not okay right now <3 #my anxiety (specifically social anxiety) has gotten so bad the past week #literally two days ago i ended up going nonverbal both through text and words for like a couple hours for absolutely no reason #but i cant not be on social media cause i have nothing else to do irl #i dont have irl friends or an irl school and im in too much pain from halloween to walk to my grandmas #i mean its not that bad anymore but still ow my shins #besides idk if my grandma is even home cause she never contacts me #+ i dont rlly know my area so i dont rlly know if theres anything to do around here i dont think there is #so the internet is pretty much the only place i can go #and it has the only things i can do #so even tho getting off social media/the internet would probs do wonders for my mental health i pretty much literally cant :) <3 #so fun #so amazing #social anxiety #anxiety #memes #ig lol #forest fumbles #forgotten hill games are the only thing keeping my sanity together godbless <3

[noxtivagus]

ffxv makes me so emotional oh my god 🥹🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxv. ] #i love love love final fantasy so much like. video games in general i cld rlly ramble abt each of my interests for hours like i'm #v much ffxv mood rn. god esp that one story two years back i've mentioned it so much here atp but IT REALLY IS SO PERSONAL N #CRINGE???? IDK IT MAKES ME EMBARRASSED A BIT but like embarrassed /pos like. it's me. younger me. n i'm still v fond of it. #..still makes me shy though but even more i finished writing that uh oneshot back then w noctis #childhood friends to lovers uhuh secretly in love but both think it's unrequited uhuh #why has that always been among my fav tropes.. I DON'T EVEN RLLY HAVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS? there's nothing irl that inspired it at all. #but then ^ that's also w my uhhhh original characters n then my wol too in ffxiv honestly n #even with other characters.. a v similar sentiment w claude n like lancelot or lucifer. ffxv / fe3h / gbf were my top 3 back in 2020 #botw hades octopath acnh & other ff were games that i rlly rmb then too. but ever since ffxiv i haven't been able to play much other vgs 😭 #the witcher 3. nier automata demo. code vein demo. genshin. hzd. rdr2. ac odyssey n lots more but god i've barely finished any #OH I NEARLY FORGOT.. I'M SO SORRY must be bcs i was listening to it earlier so i thought i already wrote it but kh3 yes #AAAA WAIT I'M RAMBLING AGAIN I WAS GNA WORK ON SOME STUFF BEFORE I SLEEP 🥹 sleep by 3 for more hours or by 4 so i can uh #get some stuff done before tmrrw? i will. do my best this week as quickly as i can so i can.. rest? my mind rlly needs a rest i think >< #yk what i can always write n do more the next day yeah i'll sleep no later than 3:30 #i think i'm going back more to my old self again but i'll do my best to not isolate or distance myself too much i don't want to destroy #things even more like. in that. dream n. in the past when. i thought i was over it but i think those wounds r reopening #but i'm stronger than them n. fuck. it's the same as before n that's why i'm crying that's why i'm so afraid that's why it hurts so much #but i've written too much here. it hurts so much but even if it feels too similar to.. back then it's. not the same it's not the same #i've improved i've gone this far i've made friends i've made so much memories. but i'm so afraid that i'll fuck up again n #i think i'm like this bcs. oh ffs my dream told me basically that i really do think i already fucked up. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry #the past.. present. the future. too fast too much n it's just like before n that's. why i'm helpless to it. i can do better but this #i forgave them but maybe i haven't forgiven myself. entirely at least. so. the familiarity of this rn is keeping me frozen in place? #n then other stuff r so overwhelming too n fuck i don't want to think about this anymore i'll be fine i'm fine i can do this on my own #..no. i can't do that again. fuck i'm crying so much why does this feel the same as two years back #i'm sorry please don't forget me please don't leave me please tell me i didn't fuck up please don't tell me i did it again #i'm sorry i was doing better i was healing but i'm back to this again i know better but i can't do any more rn n i'm sorry i'm so sorry #fuck it i'll wipe away these tears. it feels so empty inside but i'll feel better somehow by the morrow. i don't want to be a burden nymore #i know it's bad n i don't want all my progress to be for naught but.. no i can't fuck this up again but i feel i alrdy have. i'm sorry. gn

[munamania]

i feel like. i really do need to try to just get over this and not keep hoping it works out based on. anything. and it sucks because i like her so much. i like her smile and i like her voice and i like listening to her talk about anything and i like how she likes to organize and i like her showing off her little business lessons and today i saw some little moles on her cheek and went :( that’s so cute and i like her grandpa socks and her hands and. ugh. i really like her laugh and when she looks at me and she’s leaning forward laughing i could like combust fully. and i really really wish it was easier to not like her. 😖 ok diary entry rant over

#film girl saga #i’m seeing her friday. i invited her to come hang with some other film ppl too if she’s free and well. #i doubt she’ll be there. she was like oh idk if anything’s going on we’ll see maybe! and like. yeah ok maybe #but i just feel like this is my last time i should uh. throw anything out there particularly if she never does the same yk #and well. while she does talk to me and whatever like. what if i really am just the weirdo film class person she talks to. #fair enough to have entertaining classes but never rlly. wanting to go beyond that #sigh. it just sucks. like whether i’ve been delusional all this time or not having to just. try to not think abt it is so hard #because i do look forward to every monday to see her #and even if i wanted to forget her. jesus everyone i meet lately has her name or it comes up somehow or something else happens and i think #of her and i gotta just like rewire my brain but it’s like my surroundings are so cruel for constantly making me think of her #when i have to just accept that. she had a boyfriend. she may very well be very happy with him. she might be straight! #and i’ve spent soooo long just. thinking something is here. something feels right. and i might just have been massively mistaken. lol #and i’m alone in sitting here thinking about how much i enjoy spending time with her. because she has him. and other people #lol. whatever #she didn’t say oh if nothing else is going on shshshd that would suck she was just like Oh yk! maybe. ya ok..

[29121996]

.

#anyway. #i cba to . rehash everything rn so this is gonna b out of context (im almost breaching the nda) #i have to fucking zwrve him again i might just spit in his drink actually . #like . im half splitting bx im hurt .ike half of this is fuelled by an episode of some kind #++ likw i am absolutely reacting over Nothing rn . #but . ive had enough lmao im gonna have to talk to osme9ne #and ask abt working at the other place bc this is . imapcting ky ability to work. like 100% #like AHDJEBDIDHSIDJDSIJD. i had a fucking panic attack + got him kicked iut #bc i couldnt FOCUS . i was hyperventilating . #i cant do this anymore. all od this is awful . #im running out of options idk what to do anymore lolololololol #im not going uptosn this . week either . #im gonna use the $50 i was saving on . another lot of 🌿 instead . #i cant do this . i cant fucking be around him anymors. i cant exist in the same orbit as him . #this is fuckign bullshit its Killing Me. #so i rlly gotta fucking Retreat that feels.so Fucking Pathwtic #that . im in such an emotionally confused Nd heightened stats #that i cant even go n be around ppl i like ha ging oit w . bc theres such a high fucking chance hes gonna b there #like. i know what ur doing. ur not that cruel . not unless u had smrh to prove #or . was trying to get a reaxrion from me. congrats u achieved it. but its not the one u aanted ! #like i could b reading that wrobg. the alternative is . he rlly hates me that much he Wantes to hurt me #deliberatsly. #theres a differencs jn this but i dont wanna talk abt it. #anywat that is Not Coherent but i know what im referring to . #i wanna fucking Hate Him. like if i could just Hate Him. #thatd Be So Much Easier. but No. its not . #like i rlly had to tell my fucking manager #that my ex was here n i was fucking Panucking so much i needed him kicked iut. #i wasnt even Sure how to fucking . likw . saying it was abusive to her uust so i didnt have to L99k at him was so fucked up #its not . Entirely Wrong. vut . i hate referring to it as an abusice relationship bx it doesnt entirely make sense