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sasorikigai · 3 years

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aubade + nepenthe + querencia + redamancy ( for Hanryou or Aurorae Ablaze, any verse plz )

✧°⋆ 𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 || @sonxflight, mention of @frozenbreath || accepting

aubade — a love song sung at dawn

nepenthe — something that can make you forget grief or suffering

querencia — a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

redamancy — the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full

💥 || Hanzo Hasashi finds himself always wondering why his life is such a slow progress, why it comes to a fucking standstill so often. His soul is crying, and his tears are blood. As construct of time slips away from him, he wonders with paranoia if it is his mind, instead, that changes and melts into something so different and so entirely new. Late fall brings something unrecognizable, someone, who was always present, yet he hardly took the time to know at all. Harumi Hasashi’s death was the one that bombarded him with the ongoing onslaught of pain, as his hands would ache like they are longing; they need blood, but his arteries had been empty, vacuumed out. Perhaps his heart has been sleeping; for it won’t listen. as the void of his vessels would have long shattered, yet his tenacious, resilient heart would hold onto her, while his recovered heart will continue to feel too heavy like a sponge that has absorbed all the tears in the world as it would sink into an inevitable oblivion.

He was wringing out his sponge of a heart - as he fills oceans with his tears and would often remain bed-bound for days. Emotional osmosis of his beloveds, will become the quelling elixir of sublimity, as it will gently float him in the river rich and regal, a flood of fond endorphins bringing a calm that would know no equal. Even in the moments of a great maelstrom of hurricane emotions, just as powerful as its whipping storm, as loud as its roar, and still as its center, Hanzo Hasashi will somehow find his calm amidst the epicenter of the storm and memorize this particular tickling of the clock, blinded by his own sanction as his eyes feel the stain.

He’d literally and metaphorically bleed out, for restlessness has bitten his spirit long ago, as he slips into this still chill of cold paroxysmal breaths escaping his intended grave, wanting the hunger, the quivering of his bones exacerbate as wilted cherry blossom tinged with ferrous crimson will ripple into suffocating torrent. Ryou Sakai and Kuai Liang’s unbidden love and devotion sustains Hanzo Hasashi forever through an infinite chemical; for his heart beats stronger through every crimson pull out of the world of plunging depression and self-effacement. His favorite high would require more and more just to get by the next time. Maybe he will bleed out a piece of his heart to store his addiction; with unshed tears in his eyes, as he begs for release out of his mind from sinking, plunging nadir of relapses. How he even sought this detox of love, as he would intentionally withdraw and isolate himself, but reality had been it’s worse to fall back into such regression against the progression of his heart’s intents, as he would force himself to re-saturate himself in the plunging depth of his undying love and limerence.

But every time, as he rewinds and relapses, only to find his addiction summon him back, stronger than ever. His lovers were his weakness and he wants more of them, of himself, of us. More of time, of love, of trust - for he belongs to them; connected not only by blood, but by heartstrings, copious breaths, and heart-wrenching breakdowns. For Hanzo Hasashi’s heart will sing a song; incomplete, until other hearts in the proximity whispers back. A touch of lovers, poets’ touch upon such ravaged, asundered body and soul as the omen of death settled heavy and deep into the Commander’s being ablazes like a crimson ocean of fire; in his body, in his mind, raging so deep, so so deep, a depth unknown to anyone else, but his beloved.

Despite all the agony and torment, Hanzo Hasashi encompasses a heart of gold; unbreakable and bold, resistant to the summer, yet the helical radiance catching him every single time in deep eyes, a terrifying glare. The raw carnality that beats the translucent gold chamber of secrets and love and war only known to both in unfurled raw candor honesty. Some things unfold unexpectedly, beautifully, leaving a perpetual tender smile on his face. And he knows that it’s grace to wake up and experience them. He also knows that his heart had once died to the reality, but now unfolding as his eyes become the very witness of what the lips never dared to speak of before.

Knowing that there is a type of freedom in chaos; a knowing that it surely can’t get anything worse, lest the sprawled fragments of his being solder with roaring flames of his conviction. Why does he learn so much from pain and very little from happiness? Hanzo would never forget to count his blessings. He would no longer let his scars fill his soul with onyx darkness. He has so much sunshine dwelling within his being, to be discharged, emanated, and shared. He would embrace it and let it slip down to his bones.

Let his soul pour sunshine, always. And his own exquisite music could never be put into words and that which cannot remain silent. Hungry and ravenous for love, as the catastrophic love that refuse to dissipate into the dawning air as the rose petals of his plump lips begin their swelling sail upon the lean definition of Ryou Sakai’s familiar topographical map, as the balmy trail of his gossamer digits trace the dips and peaks of Kuai Liang’s musculature. The tide would rise and fall - as once again, the twilight darkens in his mind as the lids slip tenderly shut. Soon, the steeds of the shared breaths will bring effulgent light, revealing his bare broke soul; to be reconstructed, reforged, and healed through the deluge of wanton embraces, trails of wet kisses, as he would lose himself in the intoxicating trance, and the wracking paroxysm that would follow soon thereafter as affections fluctuate and swell like rivers between the three, and drip like faucets as the spillage of beacon of light will saturate him in spent spread of smile, as he drowns in fathomless earth of Ryou’s and celestial empyrean sky of Kuai’s eyes. 💥 ||

#✗ the ineffable testimony of spawned hellfire (scorpion)#✗ ugly syllables of conjured vindictive crimson (modern au)#✗ fifty shades of kombat (nsfw)#(aureate ablaze)#(relationships; samurai jack)#(relationships; kuai liang)#(have dis word vomit)#(I hope what I insinuated comes across lmaooooo I hate my brain sometimes)#sonxflight #frozenbreath

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