#no but seriously as someone who had (still has) maladaptive daydreaming tendencies as a coping mechanism
Something that I really want to write into the Reincarnation AU is more manifestations of Luz’s buried resentment and jealousy in regards to “not being the main character”. Specifically, I want to explore the way she’d misremember things to make it seem like Hunter got most of the credit for something she did or him ‘inserting’ himself into situations, or the way she’d get intrusive thoughts about preventing her brother from going to school that day or pushing him through the portal to the Human Realm.
But the problem with that is that it would probably seem super out of character, or even villainizing Luz, especially if I write Luz as an unreliable narrator in the same way I wrote Philip in Don’t Be Afraid. Which is something I get! Luz isn’t one to resent others! When things go wrog, it’s more likely for her to internalize something and turn the blame to herself, especially when it involves someone she cares about.
More ramblings under the cut because wow this got long.
But also. Luz’s chosen one/witch fantasy is very important to her. It is her coping mechanism. It is her way of feeling important and special in a good way after probably spending most of her life being bullied and put down for being ‘weird’. And then she stumbles into the magical fantasy realm of her dreams (except not as PG-13 as she thought). Luz gets maybe ten or so minutes of marveling at the Boiling Isles, ten minutes of wondering if this was real or if she really just became an isekai protagonist, ten minutes of fantasizing about her possible journey through this land.
And then she looks to her side and sees her brother with the red eyes and tragic backstory staring at the Boiling Isles with recognition in his eyes. Then she sees Eda’s pointy ears, something that keeps showing up in her brother's vivid dreams.
This is not her world. This is Hunter’s.
And this is literally in the first episode of her character development! She wasn’t supposed to realize that she’s not and shouldn’t be a chosen one yet!! Especially since in this case, she wouldn’t learn it because of her reckless actions, but because she would believe that someone else got to it first. And that will ripple out, even if she still runs into Adegast and gets the “Chosen One = Bullcrap” speech from Eda.
This isn’t even getting into Luz already maybe having buried resentment for Hunter before their arrival at the Boiling Isles! Because Hunter, despite having similar daydreaming problems that Luz has, is a lot more “””””low maintenance””””” than Luz ever was. He was “””””smarter””””” too, and unlike Luz, he “””learned””” to be normal after he was scolded enough times. You cannot tell me that their teachers and peers did not compare the two of them multiple times, and that Luz didn’t internalize everything they said each time.
And Luz is going to feel so guilty about it when she catches herself having those jealousy-fueled thoughts or accidentally acting on it. She is going to feel so bad about it and overcompensate (possibly in the wrong ways), much to Hunter’s confusion. And then she’s going to repress that resentment and pretend it doesn’t exist and/or invalidate her feelings of jealousy and resentment and solve nothing at all!!! Especially since she’s still super early into her character development.
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as someone who believes toko best trigger happy havoc character, i HATE IT when people say "syo has no depth!!!" and "toko's an annoying joke!!! wowzurs!!!", AS AN AMAZING FUKAWA/SYO FAN, CAN YOU HELP ME CONSTRUCT COMPELLING ARGUMENTS ON THE COMPLEXITY OF BOTH?
hi , anon !
it can be frustrating when people reduce our faves , but the first thing i’d like to say is : they’re kind of right about touko being a joke . touko’s fragile mental health is usually played for laughs , and reduced to a punchline . the localization calls her a “ schizo , ” and her maladaptive daydreams are framed as something psychotic rather than for what they are : a coping mechanism that her brain has developed to help her endure a high - stress situation .
i love when people ask these things , because the more we talk about that , the more we can start to break down touko’s character .
i would also like to state that this is a dissociative identity disorder [ DID ] conversation . i do not have DID , and i am not a psychologist . i will answer this to the best of my ability based on personal research and an ardent love for the character , but welcome corrections if necessary .
let’s talk about syo .
syo has depth . she is an extension of touko , who is , herself , a deeply introspective person . while syo is played for comic relief , it’s important to understand where she comes from : trauma . childhood trauma that touko , as a very small child , could not cope with . due to the intense physical , emotional , and psychological abuse to which she was subject , touko’s mind created syo , who fronts during times of duress and guards those memories that touko cannot endure , as a means of ensuring touko’s survival and base function . syo and touko do identify as separate entities , with a few key points to consider :
1 . DID alters can be ... anyone . anything . have their own ages , genders , sexual identities , ethnicity , personal histories , and memories . syo identifies as the name the media give her , but identifies with touko’s body , and accepts this as her appearance . a lot of alters look physically different to how the body of the core personality looks . that’s always been very interesting to me .
2 . touko acknowledges syo as part of herself . both touko and syo bounce back and forth when referring to themselves : between singular ( i ) and collective ( we ) . syo , to herself , looks like touko . she looks in the mirror and goes , “ i look like this . ” touko , especially in her later appearances throughout the series , feels a sense of belonging to syo , and acknowledges that she is a part of touko .
3 . they “ share emotions , ” meaning that there is some sort of co - conscious link between them that doesn’t go away completely during a switch . when touko hurts , syo hurts. when touko is in love , so is syo . while syo may not be able to understand and interpret complex emotions to the capacity at which touko does , she absolutely still feels them . this is what enables syo to act upon them : as a persecution alter , and later a protector alter , syo knows when she is fronting that touko is scared , or stressed , or in danger . these are the cues upon which she justifies her murders , but also those upon which she is able to fall in love and build friendships .
which leads me into my next point on syo : everything shed does is with the health and prosperity of touko in mind . DID , as a trauma - based disorder , is a neurological mechanism in place to protect the integrity of the individual . alters fulfill a purpose : they perform roles that the core personality physically cannot . syo is absolutely no different .
when touko decides to actively end syo’s murderous tendencies , syo complies . she knows that touko is suffering maltreatment at future foundation on the basis of her being labeled “ unstable and dangerous , ” and so , syo abstains from killing so as not to jeopardize touko’s wish to eventually join the foundation . while she still responds aggressively to threats , the only time she seriously contemplates killing is during another episode .
you can watch it here .
this scene is so loaded with depth . firstly , we see a clear co - conscious link between syo and touko . syo volunteers control of the body back to touko when touko is ready : even then , touko is able to recall the moments immediately before the switch , when komaru makes an emotional appeal to syo .
here , we also see a reflective , emotive side of her . we see her pause , despite whole - heartedly believing that she is going to kill komaeda . it is apparent to syo what is important to her : byakuya , and komaru . these things are important to touko , and therefore , important to syo . she has never been treated as normal : she has never really been considered by anyone to be a part of the system , as opposed to a “ deviant who kills for pleasure . ” and she thanks komaru for talking her down . in saying , “ i betrayed you , ” syo is feeling remorse . it’s touko’s remorse , because it was touko who made the deal with komaeda to exchange komaru for byakuya .
but , in the end , it was syo who threw the fight in order to spare komaru’s life , because she cannot bring herself to hurt a person for whom she and touko feel so warmly .
i’d also like to turn your attention to danganronpa 3 : future arc episode six , in which we can further witness syo and touko’s co - consciousness , and syo ultimately choosing to pursue what feels safe and warm and inviting rather than exacting vengeance . komaru talks her out of killing monaka : out of quite probably letting herself die in the process . komaru knows instinctively that syo has emotions : love . protectiveness . bravery . syo loves byakuya and komaru more , and feels a desire to protect them , more than everyone assumes her to simply love violence for violence’s sake . if something won’t serve the purpose of protecting touko and what is important to her , she isn’t going to do it .
now , let’s think about touko .
my blog is full of essays upon essays regarding touko , but i believe she can be best summarized by the phrase , the heart wants what it wants . a truly emotional , giving , and romantic woman , she actively hides herself underneath a repelling armor of grossly exacerbated flaws in order to protect her heart from being harmed .
touko has suffered in the past from consistent dehumanization , belittlement , and abuse . her parents expressed that they would have preferred her dead , and so they abused her at home . her classmates thought she was weird , and so they bullied her exorbitantly . whenever touko would actively reach out to others to pursue friendships or romantic relationships , she would be betrayed by others , and made to suffer for it .
to help you understand the breadth of the psychological impact that nearly two decades of being treated as less than human has had on touko , here is a link to a short thing i wrote on her ablutophobia , or fear of bathing . it’s a very quick overview of her self image issues , and self preservation tendencies .
next , why don’t we consider how fully and completely touko fukawa loves ? as a romance novelist , we expect her to harbor a highly idealized , grossly saturated perception of romantic love . instead , we get a woman who writes romance purely because she believes in channeling the ugly tragedies of her situation into something of beauty . here are my style notes of touko fukawa’s literary works , but we learn from her that she :
1 . prefers to write stories that are grounded in reality .
2 . enjoys magic realism , aggrandized settings , but innately human characters .
3 . prefers romantic tragedies to happy endings . ( komaru remarks upon how sad so lingers was . )
furthermore , touko states that while the power of delusion and its subsequent escapism is a powerful coping tool , she understands the harsh line between fiction and reality . she understands that no love story on the page can resemble how true love feels , but her work is so intricately entwined with emotion that she scaffolds her novels with universal emotional appeal . fictional romance , then , does not satisfy the resilience of her own heart . she is as cynical as she is whimsical : a true hopeless romantic who believes herself undeserving of loving , and being loved . she pours her heart and soul onto a page , so that others may feel to even a small margin of the scope of her feelings .
touko has a very resilient heart . despite the horrible things that togami did to her , and the abysmal way that future foundation treated her , touko is able to protect the last shred of love within her being and use it as fuel to improve herself as a person . please remember that all personal tragedies are learning experiences of touko : the pain she felt as a child became a rich and lucrative imagination . the trauma she undergoes as an adult is the catalyst to her finally turning against her self loathing , and building herself from the ground up .
what do i mean by that ? well ... touko fukawa is a badass . komaru naegi remarks constantly upon fukawa’s strength ; that she can’t imagine a “ weak touko . ” touko loathes herself ; her fears , her weakness . loathes that she can’t function as a normal human being who holds meaningful friendships without being suspicious of them ; loathes that she can’t look after herself , exact self care , without knocking back a cocktail of conglomerate anxiety . loathes that she was weak , and cowardly , and it almost got her killed when she has learned the value of being alive .
touko vocally objects to people walking all over her . she wants to be vilified ; she wants to be autonomous , and respected as a woman , an artist , and a person within her own right . touko exits her killing game , and the next time we see her in ultra despair girls , she is the furthest cry from the woman we previously knew . why ? because touko put her foot down , and went , “ i need to change . ” touko decides to do away with her cowardice , to fight for acknowledgement , and to reclaim her own life when she has been so deprived for so long of basic human kindness .
touko systematically exposes herself to blood to combat her hemophobia . touko credits other people for their strength and uses it as inspiration to keep going . touko puts a stun gun to her head and endures fucking electrocution so that she can control her switches and bequeath her body to syo when she needs to physically protect other people . touko mother fucking fukawa admits that she is scared , but picks her broken body up of the ground and stays standing so that she can do what is right .
touko has an incredibly strong sense of right and wrong that was cauterised by her participation in the killing . in this scene , we see touko voluntarily get the shit kicked out of her so that she may save thousands of innocent lives . she calls haiji towa a coward for hiding underground and not fighting back against the warriors of hope as they terrorize towa city . she does these things simply because it is the right thing to do : because if no one is going to stand up and fight for the people who cannot fight for themselves , then by god , touko is going to do it .
and , finally ... the heart wants what it wants , and touko wants to offer her heart to others . “ i’ll definitely protect both ... even if it costs me my life . ” actual quote out of the mouth of touko fukawa . touko loves . touko’s heart leads her into danger with the full conscience of her inevitable death , but she follows it to protect the lives of those closest to her . we see her , over the course of ultra despair girls , as she gradually opens up to the first person who has ever called touko a friend : to have treated touko with an ounce of humanity and kindness , and to have assured her unconditionally that touko was not alone .
pain , to touko , �� is transient . physical pain , that is . she’d allow a person to beat her to a pulp , even kill her , if it meant she would saves the lives of those who matter to her . byakuya and komaru make her a stronger person : love makes touko fukawa strong . love makes her stand against impossible odds , and tell those odds to go fuck themselves . touko listens to her heart : to what her emotions are telling her , and for that , her loyalty is stalwart .
i hope this helped you . i hope you have enough in your arsenal to speak up for our girl , and to remind everyone of the strong - ass motherfucking hero she is . if you have any further questions , i am always up for talking about my daughter , and how phenomenally important she is to me . i don’t think this post really scratches the surface .
in conclusion ,
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there’s a pretty good character development questionnaire going around my dash right now, so i took the liberties of filling the entire thing out on my own time, because buddy, you gotta make your own destiny.
1. Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use?
I had to give this one some thought bc my gut reaction was to say Tuo, but it turns out the answer is Falshavo, because I can explicitly remember drawing him in the hazy, far gone year of early 2006 when I was taking a drivers ed course. He started out as either some bastard of a Silent Hill fanchar, or a heavily SH-"inspired" character, and I think he could have at best been called a demon? I was like 16 when I made him, cut me some slack. In any case, Fal has changed very much over the years, most recently into an original species that can best be described as something visually between a satyr and a manticore, but is actually neither of those things. For quite a while he was based out of my one world, Undecim, but recently I decided he and his ilk would be better suited to my OTHER world, Aphelion. As far as motivations go, he's swapped from evil/crazy/malevolent to a much more nap-based personality. Two things that haven't changed since I've made him, though, are that he's blind in one eye and doesn't talk very much. So there's that.
2. Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not?
That honor goes to Jonathan, who was definitely and absolutely a FF7 fan character back when that game was new and I was still in my larval stage. He morphed into a mental illness coping mechanism as my childhood went on and he's just had a whole lot of interesting/embarrassing iterations, but I guess that's to be expected of a character I made in fucking 1997. That said, I retired him a few years ago. Tried briefly to bring him back, but I just wasn't feeling 2.0, so I didn't force it.
3. Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself?
I was GONNA say no, but then it just dawned on me how much time I spent creating gay male characters in my early teen years before THAT realization caught up with the rest of me. I'm not going to say the characters themselves were involved in the inevitable personal revelation (they weren't), but more than anything I just think it's proof that pieces of my brain do not always work as a cohesive whole. I knew before I knew, so to speak, and it showed up in my characters.
4. Any minor characters that have either taken over or branched off into their own stories?
UHHHH Your Boy Kolja was initially a primary antagonist in Mikhail's storyline, back before I decided to fundamentally retool a lot of things about Mik's whole deal. But I'm nothing if not predictable, and I'm a guy who loves a good villain, so I ended up making Kolja FAR more fleshed out and engaging than the actual protagonist of the story. Same thing kind of happened with Anzo, who was initially kind of an offshoot wildcard character in the horrible and confusing political landscape of that entire bed of storylines. But uhhh, that didn't last.
5. Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why?
My characters are all unambiguously human/humanoid. Even the monsters are going to have recognizably human faces because I have a hard time getting emotionally invested in a character otherwise. I'm really not sure the reasons for this. There's a few exceptions, ofc, but not many. Peeling off for a sec, in regards to making characters in TES settings, I definitely am biased toward the elven races because if I wanted to make a human character, I'd do so in own properties. Also the human races in the elder scrolls are kind of... underwhelming...
6. When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first?
Written concept, almost every time. The rare exception is usually with minor and/or lore-based characters, like gods or monsters, since I rarely explore those characters as deeply as I do the regular types. But if I'm making Just Some Dude, I'm probably going to have a full written concept drafted out months to years before I ever get a concrete idea (much less an actual depiction) of what he looks like.
7. Do you have characters that you know you’ll never use, but can’t bear to get rid of/recycle?
I'm going to have to go ahead and call back on Jon for this one, largely based in both his history and his significance to me and my own development. He was my primary, go-to character for such a long time, I don't think it'd do him justice to ever properly put him out to pasture or recycle (and I'm a chronic recycler, so that's saying something). He kind of exists in a creative limbo, and that's where he's gonna stay.
8. Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had?
Good traits?
In all seriousness, probably. Nothing I am consciously aware of, so cop-out answer on this one. I'm also not really one for wish-fulfillment characters, so that's a no on "person I wish I was" aspect, sorry.
9. Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?
HAHAHA hoo boy. Gavriil is the embodiment of my general shiftlessness and crippling self doubt, Tuo embodies my crushing depression and self-destructive tendencies, Ludo represents my reoccuring fear that I’m stuck in circumstances so far beyond my control that I ought not bother to try and change, and I'm not even gonna TOUCH on which of my boys were created as blatant outlets for trauma. There's a fun little game for you, try and figure that one out yourself.
10. Is there a character that explores your interests or fetishes (orrrr is that just all of you characters)?
Uh, flat no on the "fetishes" part, but yeah, most of my characters tap on my significant interests in some way or another. Most concrete example I think is Desoto, who I designed (or, well, redesigned if we're getting technical) when my interest in astronomy was at its peak, back before I realized physics is something I'm terrible at and makes me cry/change my major in college. I still love astronomy and astrophysics on a conceptual level, but the second you break out equations, I'm gone. My Boy Desoto, though, I have designed to be significantly more likely than me to do math, so good for him. Funny enough? I've never made a character who's into geology. You know, my actual field. Go figure.
11. If you have characters that embody certain traits of yours—good or bad—has writing them changed how you view those traits? Has it affected you in any way?
Not really, at least I don't think so. I might wake up in the middle of the night with a better answer screaming to my forebrain, but my gut reaction is a no. I tend to go into writing something with fixed views, and I can't recall an instance of me suddenly deciding "hey, actually this thing is good/bad and I never thought of it this way." I've definitely started viewing the characters themselves differently after starting a project, but never really the traits they personify.
12. Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached?
Definitely the latter. I'm not shy about putting pieces of myself into the characters I make, but at the same time, I really do not see myself in them, nor do I wish to. There's a firm level of detachment in that these are my creations, and rarely do I mold the sort of character where I can in good conscience think "yeah, that's who I want to be." A big part of this is that my character creation/world building habits are and always have been rooted in maladaptive daydreaming (and I have only recently figured out the terminology for a phenomenon I was otherwise well aware of, funny how that works), and that has always been based in me trying to distance myself from who I was (and at times, am). I don't want to put myself into new shoes, I want to focus on someone who isn't me, but has weird, tenuous connections to me. If that doesn't make any sense, pretend that it does.
13. Do you create playlists for your characters?
No, and that's based mostly in the sad reality that I stopped seeking out new music years ago. That, and I've never been much of an audiophile, so there'd just be so much overlap in any playlists I created that honestly, why bother. That said, I will occasionally listen to something and think "holy shit, this is ___". First example that comes to mind is Motorhead's Dust and Glass, which is very much the anthem for Ludo. Do me a favor and listen to that song, and you will know everything you need to know about Ludo. Also, I’ve got a handful of songs that make me think very much of Gav, but most recently, I decided that Gerry Rafferty’s Baker Street is a good song for him. Like, also for me? But mostly Gavriil. It can be both.
14. When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get into the right mindset?
I've gotta be in the right mood, and that's all it comes down to. I'm still trying to figure out the secret to writing something that's counterintuitive to my mood, but I'm not there yet. I know the answer is "just fucking do it," but here's an idea: shut up? I dunno. I'm a very flaky content creator.
15. Which character is your guilty pleasure?
Right now, it is absolutely Gavriil. For a long time I had such an issue with allowing myself to have characters based out of properties that weren't my own, so I started out feeling very self-conscious about putting so much time and thought into Gav. I have since made like eight or nine more TES-based characters in his wake, but some residual sentiment still lingers! See also: I still am too self-conscious to publically share the story I've been writing with him. I'm not sure if that's rooted in me playing in somebody else's sandbox, or if the story itself is coming out of a place of extreme personal vulnerability (I wrote the bulk of it during my recent Complete Mental Breakdown™). Or maybe I'm just self-conscious about my writing in general. Who knows! But at the end of the day I absolutely love Gav and I'm having so much fun working with him.
Before him was Kolja for many years, and Tuo before that. Don't get me wrong, I still adore the both of those guys, I just have a new focus for the time being.
16. Is there a character of yours who’s a real struggle to write/draw? Why do you think that is?
Right now, definitely Anzo. He started out very different from what he's become, and at the end of the day, I'm still not sure what exactly I'm trying to do with him. I was/am trying to write him in a story, but it's been proving very difficult because I'm just not sure what I'm trying to accomplish with him. Initially, his core concept was based very deeply in a revenge fantasy that had gotten out of control (I mean, it was a justified revenge fantasy, but that still doesn't make it healthy, my dude, my guy). but then I started thinking a bit more about the major events in his life, and if I was making him react believably enough to what he'd endured. That, and by this time I was in some genuine, bonified darkness in my own life, and that started leaking out into the character and story very much. Now I'm stepping back and wondering, is this where I want it to go? If the answer is no, then where SHOULD it be going? I don't have an answer to that yet. So he's a hard character to write, at least for now.
17. Which character is the easiest to draw/write?
I wanted to say Kolja, based in how enthusiastic I was for him for such a long time. I could tell you his story from birth to death, and there's only a few small threads that are still unclear in my mind. Unfortunately, this level of enthusiasm has left me with the understandably daunting task of, you know, actually writing it down. There's SO MUCH to sift through, and it's like scaling a damn mountain. It's all there, I can see the whole thing, but fuck me if I'm not in for a climb. I started in on it late last year before retreating to work on something on a bit... smaller of a scale. Gotta work my way up to that.
That said, the actual easiest character to write right now is, again, Gavriil. Part of it is that enthusiasm I have for him right now, and another part of it is that his story is based on the main quest of Skyrim which, lets be honest, is an underwhelming plot on the whole. So the plot has already been written out by someone else; I don't have to worry about that. Neither do I have to worry about actually depicting the entirity of said plot, because it's not actually an interesting one. And honestly why are you reading a story of a character from Bad Game Skyrim if you don't at least have some cursory knowledge of how that game's plot goes? The interesting part- to me, at least- is the effect it has on my character. That's what I've been focusing on, and it's been fun.
18. Is there anything you really wish you could do, character-design-wise, that you feel is outside your current skillset? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?
Visually? A lot. There's a lot that's outside my skillset, because I don't know how to fucking draw. That's why I shy away from drawing characters who, say, I imagine to have unnecessarily complex tattoo designs. Not only do I not feel like putting in the time to actually depict that, but I also lack the talent to properly do so. It also kind of neuters what I can pull off for some of my more outlandish designs, namely gods and monsters. Kjelchaikhan is the only one of the gods I've drawn so far, and not coincidentally, he also has the easiest design to deal with. I started in on trying to draw Tsenmaer before I realized holy shit, the way I picture her in my head is so far beyond what I'm capable of actually doing. I'm not even going to fucking touch on Archaeos, because that design is going to be... even harder!!
Conceptually, not so much. It sometimes happens on a small scale, such as how I've designed Ludo to be a boxer when I know little about boxing and I don't honestly care to learn. But at the same time? His story is based far, far more heavily in the shitty circumstances of his life and how he's trying to worm his way out of that than in the actual "punching dudes in the head for money" thing. That was more a tool to tie him in with the questionable, shady shit that I needed him to be shackled to. "Underground boxing circuit" just sounded like as good of an idea as any, so I figured why not. That aside, most anything I want to write about ends up being something I'm either familiar with based on personal experience, or at the very least am interested in researching for story purposes.
19. What’s more important to you: visual design, unique personality, a trendy character aesthetic, etc? If you’re not sure, then what’s the first thing you usually nail down in a character?
Definitely the personality and basic concept. I very much enjoy crafting characters that are fleshed out and generally believable, and I am very much terrible at designing them on a visual scale. Do all my characters end up looking the same? Yes. Does this bother me? No. If it did, I'd fucking do something about it. What's important to me is who a character is when you boil away all the set dressing. Who is he on a conceptual level? What are his motivations? His basic structure? My character creation process is me sitting down and saying "I want to make a character who embodies these basic traits, and is based on this core concept," then building from there. Visual design is always, always an afterthought.
20. Do you ever plan to do anything (comic, animation, etc) with your characters? Or are you just happy to have them?
For the most part: Nope! My characters exist primarily to make me happy and give me something to think about when I'm tired of thinking about myself and my life. There's a few that I'm working very much to translate into stories, but even then I hem and haw over whether or not to actually share the content I produce. Part of it is I'm much more self-conscious about my writing than my art. Used to very much be the other way around, up until I stopped considering myself an artist. Now I just kind of shit drawings out from time to time, and if people think they're terrible, that's because they are and I put no effort into what I do. It's the other way around with writing. I very much put effort, care and detail into my stories. More than bad reception, I fear no reception, which is to say that I'd put so much effort into something, put it out there, and go completely ignored. I have no issues with "you suck/your work sucks," but absolute indifference cuts me pretty deep on matters like this. So yeah, that's a significant obstacle between me and content sharing. That, and assuming I did find any degree of an audience, putting my work out for someone else's scrutiny makes it SIGNIFICANTLY harder to go back and retcon. And boy oh boy, I am a notorious an unrelenting retconner.
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