#not simon getting his heartbroken by wille (again) and then going to rosh and ayub for advice (/again/) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

omarscurls · 2 years

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Teddy bears, Valentine’s, and heartbroken boys

Simon is alone on Valentine’s Day, and he’s so done with it all

TWs: Alcohol, implied drugs, swearing, drunk character, mentions of panic attack

A/Ns looks like this, as usual, since I very much do need to comment as I write

This is what happens when you’re alone on Valentine’s Day, you write angst. Anyways, enjoy!

Simon usually disliked Valentine’s Day.

Every year, there was gross cute couples posting pictures, and ads for presents and chocolates and huge pink balloons all over his social media.

And it obviously annoyed his single ass.

This year, however, was different.

This year, he absolutely hated it.

It was 11 am, and he had already seen no less than 5 “happy Valentine’s Day bby I love you” type of posts on Instagram.

He promised himself he wouldn’t think of Wilhelm today. But every single one of the posts made him remember Wille’s hand in his, even though he said he shouldn’t.

He wish he had someone to distract him, but Sara was staying with Felice, his mom was out of town for the night, Rosh has a girlfriend to hang out with and Ayub was on a skiing trip with his family.

See what I did with Sara and Felice there?Hehehe oblivious Simon, was gonna leave it as an Easter egg, but got scared no one would notice

He decided that he should go for a walk, or at least go to the store and buy some snacks.

He only spotted one couple kissing at a bench on his way there, so he counted that as a success.

And then he made it through the store without seeing anyone he knew or spotting someone pointing and whispering at him. So that was also a success.

But right before the checkouts there was this huge Valentine’s Day aisle. With flowers in way to many shades of red and at least six different brands of chocolate. There were also teddy bears in all different sizes and shapes, and heart shaped pillows and scented candles.

Simon honestly didn’t get it. Why would anyone want a big pink heart shaped balloon with their name on? And can’t you just buy someone chocolate on a normal day, does it have to be such a big thing?

It’s literally just a way for companies to earn a shit ton of money.

Simon doesn’t want any presents either way. Even if he did have a partner.

Maybe that’s not entirely true. He wouldn’t mind if someone gave him a giant teddy bear and some sweets.

Well, not someone. A very specific someone that Simon is very much over and not going to think about.

He got home and played video games the whole afternoon. Blowing things up helped when you were trying not to think, at least for a while.

He managed to cook some dinner, if you count pasta with ketchup as a full meal.

Then he tried to watch some TV, but there were gross romcoms on almost every channel.

It was dark outside now. Almost snowing.

Just like that night he rescued Wilhelm from the football field. It felt like a lifetime ago, or like the memories belonged to someone else.

He should not have let his mind slip to Wille. But it did, and now Simon couldn’t stop. He remembered the way Wilhelm laughed at the lake that day, the feeling of his hand on the shorter boy’s waist, Wilhelm’s breath in his neck as they cuddled. The way they kissed that last time when Simon told Wilhelm he was brave and...

Tears started to fall from his eyes, and once he started he just couldn’t stop. He started shaking and it was hard to breathe and he wondered faintly if this was the beginning of a panic attack.

After a few minutes, he managed to calm down enough to breathe almost properly again.

His mind wandered to the football field again. Wille had been high out of his mind that day.

Simon had always been scared of alcohol and drugs. For obvious reasons, considering his dad.

He hated the way his father changed to a completely different person, more careless, less aware. He always feared he would turn out the same.

Wilhelm just wanted to drown his sorrows for a while that night.

And for the first time Simon wondered what it’d be like. The thought scared him, but less than he thought it would.

He told himself that he wouldn’t drink, and he’s going to stick with that.

But the pain in his chest didn’t get any better, tears were still rolling down his cheeks and he was just so done with it all.

So what if he too just wanted to stop feeling for a little while?

He stumbled in to the kitchen on shaky legs. His mother didn’t drink or own a lot of alcohol, but she drank a glass every now and then and there was a couple of extra bottles for when they were having guests.

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make it angsty enough aaah

He found an opened old bottle of vodka in the darkest corner of the cabinet. He stood with it in his hand for a second. Simon didn’t expect to get this far. He was sort of waiting for someone to come running in and tell him to stop, but unsurprisingly he was still alone.

Somewhere in the back of his head was a faint thought of how horrible he was going to feel tomorrow morning, but it faded away enough when old memories of Wilhelm flashed trough his head once more.

The feeling of absolute hopelessness he felt when Ayub told him Wilhelm denied everything. The hole it left. A hole that was still there.

He unscrewed the lid and brought the bottle to his lips so he couldn’t change his mind.

He took a sip. The liquid burned slightly in his throat. But it was good, it sort of numbed the pain in his heart. So he took another sip.

He felt fuzzy all over. Sort of warm and giggly and very very drunk.

The world suddenly seemed so nice. Simon can’t remember the last time he felt this...light, but to be fair, there are a lot of things he can’t remember at the moment.

For example where he put the alcohol.

He started thinking about Wilhelm again. His heart didn’t hurt as much this time. The floaty feeling didn’t leave any space for all the hurt and heaviness.

He found his phone again. Wait had he lost it? When did he loose it. Anyways, he wanted to talk to someone.

“I thought I hated Valentine’s Day, but I kinda do want a teddy bear actually” he texted Wille. Simon frowned slightly when he didn’t immediately reply, wait, what time is it?

“Umm what??” Wilhelm replied

“I also thought I hated you, but I don’t. I want to tho”

“Simon, what are you doing? Where are you?”

“I’m texting you, obviously. At home, bc I’m all alone”

Wilhelm was calling him now. Simon picked up. Of course. “Are you ok?” Oh. That’s Wille’s voice. Simon was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know” he finally answered. “Are you drunk?” Silence again, then “I think so”

“I thought you didn’t drink?” “I thought so too” Simon said, then he started giggling.

Ugh I don’t like writing dialogues

They were silent for a minute.

“Wille, i miss you” Wilhelm didn’t know how to answer that, but he didn’t have to as Simon continued “I’m so alone. Can you come here? I don’t want to be alone”

Wilhelm considered it. Simon was drunk. Simon didn’t really want him there. But Simon was also home alone drunk without anyone knowing. And Simon seemed like he was a mess when drunk.

So Wilhelm went over to Simon’s, to check on him. And because he was a bit scared of what Simon would do in this state otherwise.

“You came” was the words Simon opened the door with. “I said I would” The Prince answered. “you don’t always do as you say you will” Simon didn’t realise what he said, but Wille did.

They moved into the living room. Simon was suddenly tired, his eyelids felt heavy as he curled up on the sofa.

Wilhelm picked up some garbage here and there, wiped up a big puddle of something he hoped was water and not alcohol from the table, and found an almost empty bottle of vodka that had rolled in underneath the sofa. He decided to not tell Simon he found the bottle.

“Simon?” “Mmm no” Simon was almost asleep now. “Simon love, you got to get to your bed” the pet name had just slipped out, but Simon didn’t seem to notice. He was pouting, all curled up on the sofa. “Carry me” he mumbled.

Fine. Fucking fine. So Wilhelm did, mostly because he couldn’t see another way of getting Simon into the bed right now.

He picked him up bridal style at first, but Simon was moving so much he eventually just clung to Wilhelm like a koala.

He put Simon down in the bed, and somehow Simon managed to kick his jeans of and got at least sort of half way under the covers.

Wilhelm was about to go to the living room again to finish cleaning up when he heard a quiet “stay?”, he stopped walking. It was followed by a “join me?”

Wilhelm knew that he shouldn’t. Simon was drunk, he didn’t really want this.

But Simon spoke again, “please?”. And Wilhelm was a weak guy, he just couldn’t say no to that.

So he crawled under the covers as well, being very careful to leave some space between them and to not touch Simon. He honestly didn’t know how he was going to get through the night, having the other boy this close without being able to reach out was unbearable.

Apparently Simon thought so too, but he just inched closer to Wilhelm until they were finally touching.

Again, maybe Wilhelm was weak. But he couldn’t resist wrapping his arms around the smaller boy who was now clinging onto him.

Simon was already almost asleep on his chest. Wilhelm decided to not think too much about what would happen when they woke up, and closed his eyes.

Simon was moving beside him. Ok, more on top of him than beside him, but that’s not the point.

“Wille?” “Ja” (yes) “I’m sorry” Simon sighed. “it’s ok” and honestly it was. Wilhelm truly didn’t mind taking care of Simon. He also didn’t know when he was ever going to get to do this again, so he savoured the moment.

“I think you should leave” Wilhelm was expecting it, but it still hurt like a fucking knife in his heart. He started to move.

“Wait! Could you...could you stay until I fall asleep?” Simon hated himself for asking that of Wilhelm. But he truly hadn’t slept this good since the video leaked, and he longed for the safety he felt while sleeping in the prince’s arms, even if it was just for one last moment.

Simon didn’t notice the tears sliding down his face until Wilhelm wiped them away.

“Ok” now there was tears in Wilhelm’s eyes too.

They just held each other closer. After not too long Simon fell asleep again, head on Wilhelm’s shoulder, face pressed into his neck.

Wilhelm kissed his curly hair, and carefully untangled himself from the sleeping boy, tears now streaming down his face.

Simon wakes up, feeling calmer and more content than he has in months. For a second, he doesn’t remember why.

But then the dread and guilt washes over him. And somehow, it makes the hole in his heart feel even bigger than before.

Thanks for reading<3 idk if I got the angsty feeling quite through, so please tell me what you think!

#wilmon #young royals #young royals netflix #simon x wilhelm #young royals fanfic

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