#obsessed with how much she kinda doesn’t give a shit lmaooo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaosmacaron · 2 years

Text

Long ass rant/trauma dumping I cried like twice writing this I meant to just write about something that was on my mind recently but it turned to a recap of my entire life

I wish I knew how to find people I relate to irl because all my friends are cis straight and white and like I love them they’re rlly nice but I don’t relate to them at all I always feel like the only thing I can do in a conversation with them is smile and nod especially because like half of them are in their Harry Potter twilight teen dystopian book/movie era. I tried getting into Harry Potter so I had something to talk to them about but I just couldn’t, I already wore it out when I was 12 and especially with all the ick I know about jk rowling now I just don’t rlly enjoy it as much. And w twilight I just can’t because back in like 2014 I was on the side of tumblr who criticized/made fun of twilight like it’s in my dna now not to be able to enjoy it lmaoo.

I’m not trynna make fun of them or anything I just feel the things they enjoy now I enjoyed when I was like 11-12 probably because I was on the internet far too early. Also they’re all on straight tik tok. Im still traumatized from having to pretend to simp over rando guys thirst traps😭 like I do all that for them but they can’t even pretend to not think I’m weird for liking anime/bts. I don’t even dare to bring up video games

I guess this comes with living in a predominantly white area but sometimes they just be saying/doing some racially ignorant things and I don’t feel like saying anything because I’m usually the only poc in the room. (This is a goofier one but one time this girl was singing a song with the n-word in it originally and she made a point to tell me that she would never say it like girl i hope not do u want a sticker or sum lmaooo)

Anyway I legit don’t know any black people my age and it feels so isolating like even when I was in elementary school I remember always being aware that I was always the only black/brown girl in my class sometimes the only one period. I felt so different. When I was like 10-11 I was obsessed with staying out of the sun and looking up ways to lighten my skin. I would feel so ugly after a beach/pool day because of my tan I would exfoliate so vigorously to try and get rid of my melanin. One time I went to Disney world and I tried so hard to keep reapplying sunscreen and stay in the shade. I was happy when I didn’t get too tan it was just a mess of internalized colorism in my preteen years

I didn’t think this would be emotional to write but I’m lowkey tearing up

Anyways a separate but related thing that bothers me I can barely connect with most of my cultures with my parents. My mom is Afro-latina and I feel pretty in touch with my Mexican side because we see that part of my family the most and my abuela lives with us but we RARELY see my African American side of my family and my mom isn’t rlly in touch with her African American culture so by extension neither am I and that makes me kinda sad.

My dad is mixed jamaican and Chinese. I rarely see his side of the family period and my grandpa is 1st gen immigrant from china so I know non of his family which is a bit of a bummer because I’d love to know about the culture. The only Chinese culture my dad has is his ability to use chopsticks and he used to watch a lot of old kung fu movies but in dubs that had highkey racist accents. He’s more in touch w his Jamaican side as he’s a first gen immigrant from there but I can tell he’s become quite Americanized since I was younger especially since 2016 when he got into politics. Oh lord it’s been so downhill since then and the hill got steeper in 2020 when he discovered his conservative podcast. He literally listens to them everyday and I have to listen to homophobia/transphobia/non-poc giving their ignorant 2 cents on poc issues every damn day and my dad eats that shit up. He doesn’t even listen to his Jamaican music in the car no more it’s literally just those stupid ass podcast. And that’s all he talks about too he could go on and on forever about his bigotry and his guns. Oh lord don’t get him started on his guns he literally spent like 45 minutes talking to this random old guy about guns in bass pro shop. Even my uncle who posts his rifles on Facebook got tired of him lmaooo. I love him because he’s my dad but I would literally not associate with him if he wasn’t. Same goes for my mom and all of my parents friends. They think transphobia and shit is the funniest thing. They talk about it so casually like do y’all even have any other hobbies or music or media u could talk about why do u feel so fulfilled being hateful I thought u were Christian🤨

Also my mom says ching chong and pulls back her eyes and shit as jokes and my dad thinks it’s funny like ma’am ur husband is half Chinese and sir YOU are half Chinese have some dignity. That shi makes me mad. One time my mom called my eyes ch!nky and thankfully I had recently seen a video of an asian women calling out somebody for saying that so I was able to know that it was a whole ass slur because I had never heard that word before. And my mom was like “oh but I guess that’s a bad word now” like bish it was always a slur racism against Asians is just so normalized in whatever environment u were raised in. And one time at universal an asian looking dude was telling us the rules and shit and not even a second after that man left us my mom was like “ni-hao😜” I was so embarrassed and she thinks that shits hilarious and so does my dad. Weak ass links I say they’re literally casually racist to their own races. And they dismiss me when I try to say something. Hate it here. Also they think they can talk on Native American issues like how u gonna say a football team being named a slur or a tribe name being used for a car is good representation like stay out of their business shut up and listen to them. And they say their land wasn’t stolen and they shouldn’t be angry anymore I’m not even gonna get into that that just makes so fucking mad

I’m digressing but I feel so strongly about this they’ve even turned my sweet little brother into a whole homophobe. We were watching Eternals and when the husbands kissed my brother was like “really🙄” like boy what happened to u I don’t even like u no mo.

If I ever get into a relationship with a woman/nonbinary person or even a feminine guy it’ll over I’m gonna have to ghost everyone because I will be shamed and shunned to no end by my entire family. Maybe my sister will be accepting but she’s like a lowkey cringy type of ally so I might not even tell her💀💀 but yeah the thought of being disowned haunts me everyday. Imma have to be hella financially stable and live far far away if I ever want to come out to them. When I was 11 I discovered what being transgender was and related so much. I was obsessed with watch the same 3 trans documentaries everyday after school and it made me so happy to see all these people be accepted and loved by their family. I was so naive to think my family would be as accepting. I daydreamed about taking t one day and getting a binder. But nah my dad was straight up like ur going to hell lol. And for two years I was treated differently and sometimes bullied by my family until I eventually was bullied into being cis again (or so I thought😏 the pandemic made me realize some things about myself that I had repressed) but yeah I was too young and naive back then I was coming out to like everybody because I hadn’t experienced homophobia yet I didn’t now how dangerous it could’ve been. When I cut my hair by myself my dad told me that he would’ve punched me if I was a real boy. And one time I showed him a redraw I did of something I made when I was younger thinking he’d be impressed by how much my drawing has improved but he told me he liked the old one better because he liked who I was better back then (That was a deeply buried memory I’m am tearing up now I was fucking 11- 12 why would you say such things you fucking asshole that was so traumatic.) Thankfully my teacher at the time was a real one and so were my friends even tho they didn’t rlly understand.

Anyways yeah my family are the only people of my race that I know and they’re literally insufferable half the time. I wish I had some poc and lgbt+ friends irl but I don’t know how to find them I feel like I’m surrounded by white christians and I have no car or money or driver’s license to go to a con or smth idk to meet more diverse people. I see all these cool friend groups on tik tok and I just feel so envious. Like how does one find such cool friends. My mom is quitting her job soon through so I’ll have a ride to a job and I’ll be able to start saving my own money. If the economy is willing maybe one day soon I’ll be able to get my own car so that I can start living a life of my own and do what makes me happy and meet people like me.

#jojo’s bs

3 notes · View notes

zitkaplushie · 4 years

Text

nightwing secret files liveblog:

this is gonna be a long one so it’s under a cut!

taking wing-

is that jason??

i like this 'a christmas carol' type exposition i'm ngl

i'm not sure if 'jason''s dismissal of the circus is dixon using an unreliable narrator, or if dixon actually believes that

god i hate this art so much

how dare u insult the teen titans in any way 😤 i like the name

also titans cameo!!

more awful jason characterisation (pls dixon just stay 8732894738 feet away from jason)

"without robin i have no family" i guess the titans are just chopped liver huh

"i always thought that one day i'd be batman" nope nope nope nope you have 0 understanding of dick's character if that's what you think mr dixon

i love clark having a part in dick becoming nightwing - i adore it - but the way dixon retcons the importance of the titans, and especially kory, in dick becoming nightwing rubs me the complete wrong way. i'm choosing to read this as a between the scenes moment, but i 100% dixon intended this to replace the titans' importance. and the way ppl just swallow it up w/o thinking about the reasons behind why dixon would want to erase the titans - and kory - pisses me off lmao

"i didn't mean to stay so long [with the titans]" *eternal screaming* he really wants to undermine the titans at every possible turn wow

at least the next page acknowledges the importance of kory in dick's life, but right afterwards we have "lmao she must've liked your costume. all the girls did. you're a chick magnet" (paraphrased) and i'm just back to sighing

also hi i'm mad at the framing of babs being the endgame bc of course they'd do that. and also at kory being shorter than dick. thanks! i hate it! i'm willing to bet that dixon asked for that specifically.

"this is where i came in" i'm confused at this part but tbh i don't care enough to think abt it any more

i'm also ughhhh at the way they're trying to give bludhaven importance. i don't care, i don't like it, he should've never moved there

ok i do really like that last page

the fact files things are good enough, i love the art for the haly's circus one! the pt barnum ref is 😬 though (ik ik it's the 90s but fjskdh why)

lost pages: teen titans-

ok so, i don't like devin grayson. i don't like her writing at all, i don't think she gets the characters at all, and hot take: if you dislike a character who's super important part of dick's life, and helped him come into his own and be who he is, you shouldn't be writing that character. (i'm talking about kory here, but tbh if you dislike any of the characters who dick interacts with frequently and are a huge part of his life - especially his love interests, and his family - you shouldn't be writing dick.) so i'm not going into this story with high hopes. however i've seen ppl talk about this story as being really good so i hope i'll like it too

you can tell she mostly cares about the fab five, which wouldn't be a problem if she treated the ntt characters better but alas ://

kory and vic both say 1 thing the entire page lmao

ALSO KORY NOT KNOWING WHAT DAY IT IS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE

i loooove the parallel between dick grasping wally's hand and young!dick holding his dad's hand 🥺🥺🥺🥺

vic legit says one thing the entire story lmaoooooooo 🙃🙃🙃

i love garth and roy being brought to the tower 🥺

this is def some of grayson's better work, but it suffers from the same thing all of her stories do. she doesn't fully understand all the characters. if one character is off it affects the whole story. a lot of her stories have good ideas and poor execution, and this one definitely doesn't have awful execution but there's still something missing and as someone who loves the titans it's just sad. i get why people like this story - it made me tear up at the end ngl - but the rest of the titans are just as important as dick and it feels like the writer doesn't understand that. (i get this is a dick comic but it's still a titans story.) (it does however make me want to write a fic expanding upon this moment and the aftermath bc the idea of the titans all coming together to cheer dick up is so goooooood. are they gonna have a party celebrating dick's parent's lives? are they gonna eat junk food and watch a comfort movie? are they gonna just sit and talk?? the possibilities are endless!!)

the art is gorgeous as all of jimenez' art is, i love his style so freaking much!!

the next page is of the bludhaven supporting cast and all it does is remind me how much i do not care abt them. i think the only one i actually like is clancy, the others are expendable and forgettable. (i do love clancy a lot though, i wish she'd been written by more people than just dixon). though, i usually love guice's art, i think i actually prefer mcdaniel's take on clancy??? which is 100% a first for me.

i like seeing the set up to dick's apartment, bc i'm a sucker for layouts and maps. i wish this comic was way better written bc the concept of dick living in an apartment building and interacting with his neighbours is one i really like, esp in superhero comics. but again i have to say, alas.

a day in the life of nite-wing/hangin'-with tad:

painful... just painful...

i physically couldn't care less about this if you paid me

the next page is tad's file and i am Not Reading That. nope nope nope. and also fuck you.

next is a map of bludhaven, and like i said, i'm a sucker for maps.

the page after that is brutale's file and again i just do not care. the art is by damion scott who i really like, but the design looks like knock off scarecrow so

the next pages are files for double dare, lady vidc, shrike and blockbuster and i'm skipping them all bc i give negative fucks

next is a spread of what i assume is dick's cork-board? it looks kinda interesting but the writing is hard to make out and i don't care enough to try to decipher it

next is torque's files and same same, idc idc

nightwing's romances/orange you glad i didn't say banana?:

ok so y'all know i hate dickbabs. i hate everything about how it was built on the foundation of tearing down kory and dickkory and i'm a kory fan first and foremost so i hate this whole situation. so i'm already predisposed to disliking anything that talks about how babs is dick's true love, and talks down any of his other love interests. i come into this with an admitted bias. i'd try to be charitable but i don't see why i should when no one involved in the writing of dickbabs is charitable towards my faves so 🤷

i love love love stelfreeze's art! he's drawn babs in something else i read and i loved it then and i love it here!

i adore dick and babs' friendship, so the beginning is really sweet and cute. i also love the concept of baby!dickie being obsessed with watermelons and wanting to eat them forever

dewey decimal system!!! librarian babs reference!! fdjkh she's such a nerd i love it

babs trying to talk about romance and dick's like 'lol nah what abt fighting' lmao

i Do Not like babs hitting dick while talking abt 'i was segueing into talking about romance, hint hint'

this is romance? dick giving exactly 0 fucks?

why are these writers obsessed with hinting at dick and donna??? like first dixon and now grayson??? please stop!!!! i do love how he says he loves her bc 🥺🥺🥺 i love them

ur not being slick having babs call donna 'donna' and kory 'starfire', i see you grayson. i see ur hate for kory.

and reducing kory to just her body, and dick's sexual attraction to her boils my blood

i'm choosing to interpret babs's face in that panel as her being attracted to kory too

i do like that dick talks about being in love with kory, and thinking about still being with her. a) i'll take those crumbs, and b) thats how i see dick's relationship to love as being (though devin views him as kinda flighty and unfaithful so idk how we're agreeing on this lmao)

pls stop talking shit abt huntress devin, ur the one who made dick/hel a thing

since devin loves her brudick subtext, i'm side-eyeing the mention of bruce there

also why are we hinting at cass pls stop

babs being jealous and petty pls stop

the ending was smooth i have to admit it. if it was any other ship i'd probs love it but as it is, i'm tired of everyone else being downplayed in favour of the ~babs is dick's true loooooveee, it's always been herrrrr, from the beginningggggg~

i don't mind babs being dick's first crush though, in fact that's my hc for him because hello?? who wouldn't have a crush on babs??

thank you mr stelfreeze for accurately portraying babs' bitchface bc she's being a petty bitch here (and i love her but lmaooo i hate this whole thing)

next is the files on the bludhaven pd and i do not caaaare

then there's a timeline, but i don't care about any timeline that dixon writes. i'm petty though so i'm gonna read it and talk abt why i don't like the retcons.

i hate the dickbabs reference in YEAR FUCKING 3 jfc. pls stop with the retcons.

also lmao the difference between the way dick's canon relationship from that time is described in the shittiest way possible (though reluctant at first, dick begins a long and tumultuous romance with teammate starfire.) and how he wrote dick and babs' relationship (robin first teams with ... barbara in her guise as batgirl. the two will pair time and again over the course of their careers and develop a burgeoning affection for one another) this was at a time when they weren't even remotely interested in each other!!! there was no affections there dixon! no matter how much you wish it to be true!! and again the contrast with 'starfire' and 'barbara'! like it's dehumanising and i hate it.

and he can't even bother to get the new teen titans' team name right.

no mention of kory's importance in dick becoming nightwing, nope we ignore that bc it's thanks to superman now.

stepping away from the way he hates kory to talk about the way he hates jason! jason's described as a 'troubled orphan' and a 'juvenile delinquent'.

no mentions of how jason and dick bonded but as soon as tim gets introduced he talks about how dick and tim 'switfly bond as brothers'.

another incredibly impersonal description of dick and kory's relationship (the wedding of dick grayson and kory anders (aka starfire) is aborted by the rogue titan raven. dick and kory soon part company and dissolve their relationship.) but at least he calls her kory this time.

also i love how he speeds up through all the 'non important' development for dick but spends a whole page talking about all the bullshit he's been writing for nightwing. i understand why, but it's just lmaooooo 🙃 when you read it like that, it really shows how shitty this comic is.

talks of the 'doomed relationship' between dick and hel and i really hate it pls stop

the last page is dick's evaluation by the police academy and i do not care so i'm skipping it too.

#welp. this comic was a ride. i hated 95% of it and i hate dixon and grayson's writing #antidickbabs #bc i talked a lot of shit abt them #and i'm free to do so but i'm tagging for ppl who don't want to see ship hate #reyes reads comics #reyes.txt #long post #negative #for the blacklist #edit - i added a cut bc it was too long #2nd edit - ooff so many typos

10 notes · View notes

prophezeiung · 4 years

Text

@vorhersage said: 3, 12, 18 for all of them thanks › oc creation questions ( accepting )

3. how did you choose their name? carter: i remember scouring baby naming websites for the most obnoxious sounding rich people names. i wanted something more ~modern frat bro-y but with a touch of old money™ too, so in the end i went with lewis montgomery carter which imo already sounds extremely annoying so i’m happy. lloyd was.. just a vibe... but also lloyd bank, no correlation but a vibe. marty: marty was acc a really stupid one, because i first made him on forums where you have to sign up with the character’s name... very funny story for a different day but i just wanted to make an account so i could work on the site, so i just picked any random name that i thought sounded cute. i think i was thinking of back to the future? only after that we came up with an rpg concept and i started creating an oc... who wasn’t very marty mcfly-ish at all? but i decided to stick with this fresh nickname and give him an eccentric real name...... that’s why it’s a stretch from artemis to marty when he literally could’ve been arty but that’s not a vibe at all. his middle name is aurelio bc it’s cute and lighthearted but i realized it’s almost a c/mbyn mood which .. puke.. also all his siblings have a. a. names so 8) graves just sounded nice and dark academia-y, plus because it was a fantastic beasts-ish rpg concept i was thinking of claiming p.ercival graves as a distant relative oop. when i removed marty from the hp setting i thought the last name still fit v well with his new lore so i yoinked it from fb and now it’s mine uwu pandora: i have no clue how i came up with pandora, i just thought it’s funny to give her the nickname bread bc ‘big bread’ was somewhat of an inside joke but i couldn’t make myself give her the last name grande... also all my central american friends have like 7 names each so i wanted to give her at least one middle name and two last names ... i went with belén like bethlehem because it doesn’t fit her AT ALL hehe and then for a last name i really liked olivar.. bc of plant imagery and it sounded like bolivar... anyway... holden: very non-deep i found it on a baby naming website and vaisey is a golden trio era side-side-character so i just thought i’ll make an ancestor ... stonks! 8) margaret: i really really liked the nickname muffy and so i looked up for which names it’s a nick name... mary and margaret just happened to be on the list, which perfectly matched her background hehe 8) barr is actually kind of an eva-ism, i asked her if i should name my character after a.aron burr or c.atherine parr and she said yes <3 so i did 8) conan: conan means little wolf babey!!!! r.emus l.upin who!!!!!!!!! irish werewolf all the way!!!! and hm mcloughlin just struck me as irish™ idk it sounds nice! sunshine: haha... i didn’t have a name for her for the longest time, i just knew she was a hippie gal with a pure heart and uwu attitude so eva and i just called her ‘sunshine rainbow baby’... and then when it came to actually naming her... i didn’t :) it’s just the right amount of tacky and in-your-face so i kept it ayyy emily: she just was emily .. i didn’t choose the name it was just there and i accepted it.. sorry... for her last name i looked at japanese name meanings that sorta fit her vibe and i liked all the kuro- ones bc kuro means black which... hello... and kurosawa just sounded really fitting!

12. what have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your oc (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)? carter: the fact that he knows shit about american politics and icba to look that up for every reply. plus the fact that his political opinions disgust me .... also i changed carter’s fc once and that kinda messed up a little how i picture him physically, esp with art and edits i... still don’t know if he rly has curly hair or nah.. have stopped thinking about it... marty: the fact that he’s so cringey and his vocabulary is bigger than mine.. also he has read walden and i refuse to... generally his obsession with classic literature is a big yikes for me bc the canon is so str8 white cis male heavy oof pandora: her lore? i am very lazy with her lore... also finding the balance between whirlwind and Chill.. i know she’s there i just gotta find where exactly... holden: trying not to make every reply sound the same but he only has 2 emotions ( angry, a little less angry ) so it’s hard. muffy: not so much difficult as interesting but i find out more and more that muffy is actually... kinda dark? idk man i don’t wanna see her snap. ( but actually.. i do.... ) conan: it just hurts man.. everything about him.. i want happy endings for my characters so bad but i wonder if he can ever be happy without being sad :/ sunshine: her whole inner monologue lmaooo i have no idea what i’m writing i’m just winging it?? emily: i’m yet to find out babey 8)

18. what is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your oc?

carter: how whiny he is rip :/ i knew he kinda was.. but oh boy he’s terrible... marty: his relationship with Evil people and that he actually... would rather follow charisma than ideology which is a big oof ://// .. not that he’s into breaking the law at all but his moral compass is so weak and he usually thinks about other things and he is so easily peer pressured that he could high key be manipulated into doing bad stuff :/ pandora: she’s a coffee person! holden: that he spits on kids muffy: that she’s kind of a slytherin? conan: he can’t sit with his back to the door.. sunshine: she could be kind of an adrenaline junkie? not in a dangerous way she just... is the person who says ‘ i wanna go again! ’ after getting off the roller coaster hehe emily: that she swears oop

#long post /#vorhersage #( oop you sent this like a month ago haha anyway here u go )#( collective hc tag )#𝐨𝐨𝐜. › answered › i can’t read :(

1 note · View note

frostygar · 4 years

Text

Arrow S7 Ep2 Thoughts

- Oliver’s so annoyed with this dude calling himself his friend lmaooo

- The gang back together (almost) we love to see it! It’s low-key kinda sad that they’re much better without Oliver… like they’re more interesting and flow well.

- Laurel using her powers to ditch her security detail, I’ve missed her 😜😜

- RENE AND LAUREL’S FUCKING KNUCKLE BUMP YESSSSSS we stan this friendship!!!! I love Curtis being all worried, it’s cute. And yes overaggressive Felicity is low-key annoying but I can pass over it because at least it’s not because of her relationship with Oliver (that controls everything) it’s HER. Anyways… now they’re in deep shit by compromising ARGUS’s active investigation and I hope that doesn’t affect Curtis’s job there 🥺🥺

- Okay it’s been awhile since I worked on this and I like… these four thoughts are from like HALF an episode??? Wow either I don’t care to comment on everything like I do with Riverdale or basically nothing is happening. Anyways, let’s hope I can get through this!

- And THIS is why we work TOGETHER. A.R.G.U.S. is such a weird company or whatever like they work with these kinds of people but then they don’t and also keep them in the dark… like you really have to make everything harder than it needs to be huh lol

- I never wanted to hear “WWGAD” but to answer: he’d be a hero, yet not at the same time then whine about how he WANTS to be a hero but can’t because of something holding him back that’s usually just himself……… Riverdale has me salty (even if the last musical episode was literally the best episode they’ve ever made) and forgetting how I feel about Arrow lmao SORRY

- LMAO OLIVER REALLY JUST WENT RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FLASHLIGHTS AND THEY JUST LET HIM PASS. I know he’s supposed to but I just found it hilarious

- Ahh, there’s that “here’s something I don’t have a skill on but for plot sake I’ll suddenly have it” :) Reminds me of Iris suddenly knowing how to do shit and “leading” the group and I despise it thank you and goodbye

- OH YEAH THE FLASH FORWARDS WITH WILLIAM AND ROY!!

- Why is Diggle giving up on saving Oliver—

- Not Diggle thinking it’s selfish of him for not putting on the Hood to save his family. It’s not, at all. It’s actually very smart of him.

- Oh we fucking KNOW Felicity is too impulsive to not go off on her own despite saying she’d do it the A.R.G.U.S. way. She’s going to get greedy and fuck everything up. How I know? This is DC and it’s exactly what Iris would do.

- That Laurel bit of her stepping into silence? Fucking AMAZING. AND THEN SHOWING DINAH WITH NOISE AND GOING BACK? I don’t even know why I like it so much… god I am PATHETIC

- DINAH AND LAUREL USING THEIR SONIC SCREAMS TO DESTROY THE SILENCER WHAT A FUCKING POWER MOVE!!! They should work together more instead of having Dinah be like the good enemy kind of person if that makes any sense

- JUST FUCKING KILL DIAZ YOU HAVE HIM IN YOUR FUCKING SIGHTS JESUS

- The length of that fire gun is not fair but it’s okay because Diggle just did the coolest fucking move—

- Now how is Felicity going to fuck this up for no reason??? Ahhhh,,, well thankfully Curtis isn’t a dumb bitch blinded by an obsession with Oliver.

- William watches as Roy burns the paper and does nothing to even TRY to stop it lmao okay

- Why does Dinah helping Laurel make Laurel want protection from the SCPD??? It makes no sense… Also I just thought about Diaz, and why not just send people to collect him and the others on the train cart that would have to slow down before they get off—

- Oh 👀👀👀 anyways is there a ship name for Dinah and Laurel so I can jump on the train that’ll definitely not go anywhere because I clearly hate myself lol

- OH MY GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT?!?!?!! OLIVER YOU FUCKING KING!!! But lmao I love that no one helps Oliver at all—

- Not Felicity working for that bitch…….. can Felicity have anything other than obsessing over some guy she shouldn’t be with and barreling into everything head first without thinking? I’m getting Betty Cooper vibes and I hate it because Felicity can be so GOOD if everything of hers didn’t revolve around Oliver and Oliver only…….

- Anyways thank god I’m finally done with this episode…

#Arrow #Oliver Queen #Felicity Smoak #William Queen #John Diggle #Roy Harper #Dinah Lance #Laurel Lance

4 notes · View notes

bellarkefanfiction · 6 years

Photo

Lina got the chance to catch up with @ticogirls author of I Think You're Cute, Between the Lines, what a delicate heart, what a hard head and many more on ao3.

BFF: Tell us about yourself!

Mel: I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who starts sweating whenever they get this kinda question but here goes: I’m Mel and despite what my Twitter handle says, that’s not short for “Mellamy” lmao. I’ve been on Tumblr for close to eight years now (I just got a small stroke from saying that), I watch a fuckton of TV and movies (I mean. Who doesn’t, right?), and I’m also a proud BoC (Bisexual of Colour).

BFF: When did you start shipping Bellarke?

Mel: The first place I saw Bellarke was, I think like many of the fandom, on my Tumblr dashboard. During the post-S1 hiatus, one of my favourite gif-makers (she’s changed her URL and gone on several hiatuses so I genuinely don’t know where to find her anymore) was posting a bunch of gifsets of them. Again, like many of the fandom, from the gifs and screencaps of S1 alone, I basically assumed Bellarke was already a canon couple and decided “ooh, they cute. Lemme watch this show for that Good TV Romance™”. (Once more, like many of the fandom, I got a Rude Awakening when I started watching the show because it turned out to be So Much Worse… but also So Much Better.)

As for when I started really shipping Bellarke in the actual show, I think a lot of people fell in 1x02 (Bellamy saving Clarke from the grounder pit) or 1x03 (Clarke relieving him of the burden of mercy killing Atom). While those were both huge steps for me in terms of perceiving their relationship, I don’t think I really fell for this ship as a potential romance until 1x04, ‘Murphy’s Law’. The Charlotte/Murphy conflict peeled back the layers on both Bellamy and Clarke: his posturing and bravado was melted away in front of the delinquents, and all of her cool logic and reasoning was temporarily suspended. That, for me, was the first episode that really showed that despite all their oil/vinegar clashes throughout the show, at their very deepest core, Bellamy and Clarke were always going to be unified by the same goal — to protect their people.

BFF: How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Mel: I used to write (bad) fanfiction for some older fandoms, back when Wattpad and AO3 weren’t even conceived yet and all we had was FanFiction.Net and LiveJournal. Shit, I was really out here when ‘My Immortal’ was still being updated, lmaooo. I stopped for several years for a multitude of reasons — overstuffed schedule, physical exhaustion, a bunch of big life transitions, mental health issues etc. Bellarke was THE ship that restarted my fic-writing engine in 2015, and I think because of that, I’m always gonna have that Soft Spot for them.

BFF: Are you a part of any other fandoms?

Mel: Aside from The 100, I’m a huuuuuuge Star Wars hoe. Original trilogy, prequels, Rogue One, current series — I love them all. I’m genuinely nervous about Disney’s future plans for reviving this franchise but having quite literally grown up on this stuff, I just don’t think it’s ever going to be possible for me to walk away from this franchise, no matter how Messy it gets (and I’ve a feeling it will!).

I’m also really big on the MCU (currently obsessed with Thorkyrie) and From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series, which I have no shame admitting is the guiltiest of guilty pleasures.

BFF: Are there any writers that you’ve drawn inspiration from?

Mel: I’m going old-school here, but I’ve always been enamoured by Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series) and K. A. Applegate (Animorphs series). It’s not so much about their kickass creativity with plot or characters, but more of the rhythm and pacing of their writing. They’ve each got a great way of balancing story and characterisation, all underscored and punctuated with these unique comedic inflections and beats.

BFF: Do you have favourite side-pairings or characters you also enjoy including?

Mel: I love writing Minty and, I’m not gonna lie, it’s mostly as a fuck-you to the writers for refusing to acknowledge Monty Green’s Gayness™. Memori have got a really fun dynamic to write too, and I still include a lot of Jasper/Maya in my fics because they deserve to be happy and in love forever. As for solo characters, Raven is hands down my favourite to voice, mostly because I feel like I can 100% relate with whatever’s going through her head in any given situation.

BFF: What are your favourite tropes to write?

Mel: Oh LORDT, do you got a full hour???

Lmao okay but real talk, I absolutely love writing Enemies to Friends to Lovers. I prefer Modern AU’s, simply because I like the concept of breaking our fave characters out from the grimdark world of The 100, to see how their relationships and attitudes could possibly evolve if they were allowed to care about dumb stuff like TV shows and public transport instead of just whether they manage to live or die. I am also a die-hard fan of the Roommates trope, simply because it’s the most convenient fic-writing device for ensuring that your ship will always have some reason to share the same space alone together with some regularity.

BFF: What do you predict will happen in season 5? Especially for our favourite duo?

Mel: So this is basically just “do you think Bellarke will become canon in S5”, right? (lmaodskjfhks) Well I hate to sound like I’m pushing a fatalistic attitude towards S5, but honestly, I don’t see Bellarke becoming canon in S5. After all, they’ve got a lot of ground to cover once they reunite on the ground. Six years is a heck of a long time, especially when one of them fully thought the other was dead. (It’s hard for us as fandom to grasp because we have been shown that Clarke’s fully alive and well, but we gotta remember, death is a separation of utmost finality. It’s not just like thinking someone’s away or missing.)

I do, however, think it’s feasible to expect some kind of recognition/acknowledgement of explicitly romantic feelings on either one or both their parts.

BFF: Do you have any plans for other fics you’d like to write, if so could you spoil or tease us?

Mel: Oh boy, do I ever. Full disclosure, I’m currently working on about 6 or 7 fics for Bellarke alone, but they’re setting up to hit at least 8k in length each so they’re definitely not going to be ready for publication anytime soon.

I do have one that I’m planning to post as a multichap, which means I won’t have to wait until it’s fully completed. I don’t want to give away too much, but it’s based on a French romcom titled Blind Date (Un peu, beaucoup, aveuglément). It’s basically a neighbours / enemies to friends to lovers AU, and I’m really excited for y’all to read it!

BFF: What advice would you give novice writers?

Mel: I answered this question a good while ago in this post here with a few major points, but I think the most important one is this:

You are your best competition. I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but this is seriously the most important thing for me as a writer: DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS. It never makes anyone feel better (especially if you’re, say, writing fic for a big fandom with a lot of existing content). Honestly, it doesn’t even make sense when you think about how every writer is different and has their own unique style.

Be your own harshest critic, but also your biggest cheerleader. Write for you, to express yourself. That way, whatever you write/publish, at the end of the day, you feel good about it.

#ticogirls #bellarke fanfiction #features #author interview #by lina

23 notes · View notes

365daysof2017 · 7 years

Text

50/365

Dear tumblr,

I’m gonna start off my posts like this. Hi it’s me. Ash. I’m back. Sorry I didn’t post much last January but you know me, I get lazy, and I procrastinate. I’m just gonna continue where I left off with my previous blog, 366daysof2016, though, I still can’t process that it’s already 2017.

So how am I? Great. Honestly, not. Life is really really really complicated. It’s probably really simple, just me making things complicated, I don’t know.

I actually have been worse. I thought I’ve already moved on from David. You see, I told myself that I already need to forget him and all, and I actually did. I met some guys on kik, some lasted on my chatbox, and some didn’t, but everything seemed okay. Everything seemed okay. Then for some reasons, I started cutting my wrist. I have plans to do it again sometime but, I can still hold it.

Okay back to the “David” topic. Everything keeps coming back and it was really hard for me cause I don’t have any space in my mind to think about him. I’m already thinking about a shit ton of crap in my head, and I don’t want to think about him anymore. I thought I already forgot about him. But everything keeps coming back.

So this one day, last Saturday, we went to an Amusement Park. Nothing connected to him at all. I had so much fun! I got home at around 11PM. Then I had a fucking dream.

It’s the worst type of dream, cause I was lucid. I’m always lucid when I dream about him, so it makes it even harder. In my dreame, he went to the Phillipines, he apologized. He did everything. I already kinda forgot, but one thing I remember is that it was fun. I had fun. I was happy.

The morning after, I realized how important he was to me, god I was thinking about him the whole fucking day! How I was so happy with him, how he made me feel special... The whole fucking day.

At around 10PM, I was on kik, just randomly flirting with strangers online. I did something impulsive. I messaged him.

me: dude me: I fucking hate you so much me: I wasn’t done with you yet and you fucking blocked me. So here’s the time where I was supposed to reply another message cause I was gonna flood him with hate messages, but he fucking replied. Instantly. I didn’t expect that. He never replies fast.

David: Ok. me: You fucking left me hanging David: Yea David: I suppose so me: You even called the night before you blocked me! me: what me: that’s it David: I’m sorry me: no explanation or anything David: I dont know what to say me: right me: just fucking say something please

Oh god I was so annoyed and so pissed and so nervous I felt everything at once. He didn’t even say anything. I wanted to hear something from him. I wanted an explanation. That was the only thing I needed to move on and yet he couldn’t give it to me.

David: I just David: Idk I got caught up with the army David: And I was afraid I’d hurt you David: So I ran from the situation David: Which still hurt you but atleast left room for hate me: and went to her instead me: yup

Ohhh shit put an ice to that burn, bitch.

David: Lol I’m not dating anyone so don’t try that

Uhm excuse me? Don’t you think I know anything you’ve been up to? Man I know everything. I have eyes everywhere. Everywhere. It’s kinda creepy, tbh.

me: lmaooooo me: songia??? David: Go look at my stuff David: Not dating anyone David: In fact we broke up and I slept with someone else and now we don’t talk at all First thing that came up to my mind: He’s not a virgin anymore. LMAOO.

David: So that’s that sticky situation I wasted 2 years on

Ha. Sticky. Cause you slept with someone? LMAO OKAY. me: right me: fuck me: its been months me: and its still you me: fuck you okay David: What do you mean me

Dumb-fucking-ass?? Are you that ignorant? or are you just dumb???

me: I hate you so much me: you’re still the one I remember David: Okay I expect that me: I keep having dreams

(lmao why did I say that?)

David: I’m sorry David: I dont know what to say or do me: and its fucking annoying me: its so hard to forget you me: I keep getting these dreams me: and it just made me remember you even more David: Sorry David: I don’t know what to say

ikr, it’s not like it’s your fault I get the dreams??

me: why did you just block me though me: why didn’t you atleast say something David: Trying to run again David: Realized it’s not the right thing to do David: I don’t have anything to say David: You’re right I shouldn’t have left you hanging David: It was wrong of me David: I thought about it too David: I felt bad David: But I couldn’t face it me: fuck you for leaving me when I already fell for you. me: you even said you’re gonna go here me: ugh David: Fuck me David: Okay I get it David: You hate me David: I’m shit David: Leave me alone if that’s all you want to say

Seriously dude, do you really not sense my purpose here? I want you back.

me: I just wanted an explanation lol me: and I didn’t want you to leave me: those were the words you said and I can’t believe I’m saying it me: I don’t want you to leave me alone

So that’s it that’s the serious part. The next part of our conversation wasn’t as long as this one but we were just bantering around. I don’t think he’s as comfortable with me as he was before but I feel like there’s still something.

I just feel so confused about my feelings for him, confused about what we are, confused about what he feels for me. Last Friday, he sent me a message, and I was in school

9:51 AM David: Hey David: You busy?

So I read it during my lunch time cause we were doing something

11:39 AM me: I’m in school

1:42 PM David: Call me after

2:32 PM me: I can’t I have like 100MB left

9:43 PM David: Ughh David: Noooo David: When do you get more David: You are legit so cute David: In your picture David: And your body looks good lol David: JUST SAYING.

I wasn’t able to reply cause I was watching this Selena Gomez film, Monte Carlo. It was really nice btw, I loved it.

11:00 PM me: LMAOOO me: I’m home now it’s like 11 David: What lol. David: I know, I know David: Why you laugh. me: idk me: whats up David: Laying in bed being lazy David: Hbu Piper

Fuck. Right in the feels. So much nostalgia. Piper’s the daughter of Aphrodite in the series that we love, he used to call me Piper, and I told him if I’m Piper then he’s the Jason to my Piper. (Jason’s the love interest of Piper in the books)

me: I just finished watching a movie me: and it was greatttt I loved it David: What movie? David: *sends a cute selfie* David: Lol look @ me

okay so I totally forgot that he asked a question cause a cute fucking selfie just popped in my screen.

me: you look different David: Do I? David: How so?? David: Bad huh David: Thanks I’m ugly ik me: yeah idk me: you look happy me: no wdym ugly David: I am ugly David: You making fun of me lol David: Thanks me: wtf you’re not ugly shut up me: what time is it there me: and where are you David: I’m in kentucky US David: And it is 0912 there!

Idk that’s probably how they read time in the army

David: Girl you’re obsessed David: Lmao jkjk me: ruuude David: No me: Kentucky though me: KFC David: I like you dw

okay... fuck... that was sudden. I mean, good job! That’s a great way to make me even more confused about what’s happening here!

me: ha David: Yes lmao! David: It’s not that good David: I figured it would be the best here David: But it’s the same as everywhere else me: really? me: that’s sad David: It’s nothing special David: Send me a selfie? me: I dont have a selfie me: jk David: Send me one David: Now David: I order you me: dude me: chill David: Lol nope I wanna seee youuuu me: I’m still looking for something decent David: Send them all David: Right meow me: *sends a selfie* me: tada me: I like that one lmao me: hoe filter me: I got more pimples me: smhhhh me: *sends another selfie* me: and one time my hair became like this hahah David: Fucking cute David: Is that overalls lol me: yes hahah

Then he left me on read. But because I’m a creepy-ass stalker that knows his facebook account, I saw his post that he shared. The post said, “I like clingy. I’d rather have someone who blows up my phone and shows they care than someone who texts back 12 hours later” So I messaged him this morning. I didn’t care if I double texted.

me: dude me: when are you free David: Not tonight, I don’t think me: aw but when David: Idk I’m with jocelyn rn

Who’s Jocelyn???

me: ohh okay me: tell me when you’re available David: Okay

So that was it. I notice that I keep on using the word ‘dude’. Idk what to call him?? Maybe I’ll refer to him as Jason soon. Back to his facebook though, he also shared a post that said, “I blocked my ex on everything but she somehow managed to message me through direct tv *a pic of that*”.. Well.. Was that me? Lol. I dont know!! Someone commented though, “Man, if she goes through that much trouble to try to talk to you I would have to give her a second chance haha” then he replied, “that’s true hahah” UGH ITS JUST SO CONFUSING. So that’s all I have to say about him.

Now I’m here typing this blog. I don’t know, I just wanna talk to him, on the phone. Maybe that’d clear things up, but for now, I never think about our future. I don’t wanna think about the next step, cause when it doesn’t happen, I’m just gonna be twice disappointed.

This was really a long first blogpost. See ya next time.

Love, Ash

0 notes