#oh mr jiang please roll on your office chair into my DMs

[wifiwuxians]

Foodfight

(High school AU) 

“No Wangxian today?” Nie Huaisang picked at the noodles on his plate and looked around the dining hall to see if his friends were sitting at another table for whatever reason.

Wen Ning, sat across from him and enjoying a small bowl of soup, shook his head feebly. “Wei Wuxian said they were going to go over the work he missed last week...” 

“Ah, a famous Wangji sponsored study session,” Nie Huaisang nodded in understanding and slurped up a few noodles. “Good for them. Wonder if they’ll get anything done, though.”

“Nope,” Jiang Cheng rocked back and forth beside him, pushing his office chair idly along the ground. He had been spamming Wei Wuxian with a link to The Symbolism Of Cats In The Silent Hill Series for the past five minutes. 

“...Why are you in an office chair?” Nie Huaisang narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Where did it come from?”

“Disciplinary office,” Jiang Cheng closed his eyes and let his phone rest on his lap. 

“Aw, Jiang Cheng, come on,” Nie Huaisang held a hand to his hip. “Your mom’s going to smash your skull open if you keep being sent to detention on purpose.”

“Relax, I’m just trying to rile-”

“FOOD FIGHT!”

The shout rang through the dining hall like a war cry- and yet nothing followed it. Not a single person had chosen to participate, leaving the boy who’d belted out the command to stand alone and embarrassed. 

“Take a look at that dumbass,” Nie Huaisang snorted. “Way to go. Just sit down and eat in peace.”

The boy did no such thing. He was too far to have heard Nie Huaisang’s mumbled words, but all the same he seemed to be so hyped up on the concept that he threw a banana with all his might in hopes of getting the fight going.

It hit Wen Ning on the back of his head, almost hard enough to splat open. His cheeks immediately reddened and his eyes filled with tears which he quickly blinked away in shame.

Nie Huaisang gasped and was on his feet before Jiang Cheng could reach out and grab him. “Hitting Wen Ning is a crime that cannot be forgiven!” 

After his passionate declaration, and despite Wen Ning’s soft pleas, Nie Huaisang hurled all the bread rolls on the table in the direction of the boy, who was beginning to take food off other people’s plates to send back. Not wanting to be left in the dust, Nie Huaisang sacrificed his noodles for the greater good and sent them flying through the air.

“Jiang Wanyin, bane of my fucking existence, return that office chair...” Wen Chao barged into the dining hall with a murderous look in his eyes, but stopped dead in his tracks as a pudding cup landed upside down at his feet. “At... once...”

Silence was all that could be heard in the hall for about thirty seconds. Nie Huaisang was holding an apple high above his head. Wen Ning was using his tray as a hat for cover. The boy who had started it all had somehow produced a slingshot and was loading it up with rice. 

Knowing Wen Chao was the son of the discipline master (and to-be principal, the way things were going), he looked him in the eye and bellowed, “Get him!” before letting his rice soar. 

At this point, others had decided to join the chaos, so Wen Chao screamed in horror as a multitude of servings made their way towards him. Before any could land a hit, he was seized by the waist and rolled away to safety on an office chair...

“You’re not worthy of throwing food at my friends!” 

He could still make out Nie Huaisang’s enraged shouting as the dining hall got smaller and smaller. 

#tinyfic #SCREAMS #oh mr jiang please roll on your office chair into my DMs #high school AU #larissaloki