#on the average day i'd say laudna-imogen is closer to the prax-amos dynamic. they're not all that similar

[defyingthefates]

With the revelation that Orym had a feeling Laudna killing Bor'dor would give Delilah a foot in the door again, and let it happen even as Laudna turned to him as a lifeline to stop herself. And with the Expanse and its characters on the brain. I'm just thinking about how sometimes, even in the absence of evil necromantic soul parasites, the important question isn't "is mercy the morally correct choice?" it's "is revenge the right choice for us?" It's about self-preservation. About staying the person you want to be. The person you need to be to keep putting one foot in front of the other every day. The person you can look at in mirror every morning. It's about knowing your friend will be disproportionately burdened by that choice and chosing to intervene. Not even necessarily to stop the killing altogether, just to stop your friend from hurting themself in the process. ("You're not that guy" but "I am that guy." "It's not about [them]. It's about us." "It wasn't mercy. It was vanity. I didn't want to think of myself as someone who wanted vengeance.")

In that moment Laudna needed someone to step in for her. To take the weight off her shoulders. I don't think Laudna wants to be the kind of person who kills to satisfy feelings of revenge (even without the threat of an evil necromancer hiding in her soul). Imogen pulled her back from the brink before. But this time she wasn't there. And Orym, in her stead, let her fall. When he could have chosen to intervene. Ashton too, to an extent, although in the moment it was Orym that Laudna looked to for restraint. Either of them could have made the kill instead. That this also put Delilah back in the picture... well that just makes this situation all that much worse. How does it feel to know that your friends let you free-fall into the dark? How does it feel knowing you let your friend free-fall into the dark? Worse, how does it feel to know you gave them that final shove over the precipice?

#this is like if amos hadn't stopped prax from shooting the doctor and in doing so fucking gave marco inaros martian stealth nukes #on the average day i'd say laudna-imogen is closer to the prax-amos dynamic. they're not all that similar #launda's moral compass doesn't exactly point true north. and imogen is at amos' level of deeply fucked up pragmatism #but there is that aspect of one being the other's tether to what they perceive as 'goodness' #and imogen like amos has intervened to keep her tether from making self-harmful 'moral' violations #orym doesn't generally fill that roll for laudna but he's tried to be that for dorian and opal and imogen #so its interesting to see the circumstances where he chooses not to do so #when he considers harm to a friend... worth it? i guess? #i doubt this will sit easy with either of them #critical role #critical role spoilers #laudna #orym of the air ashari #4sd #4 sided dive #'imogen isn't at' whoops. but im too lazy to correct my tags. imogens fucked up but she ain't that fucked #amos is a different level and different type of messed up lmao