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#only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it
naamahdarling
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1 month
Text
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#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months
#i don't even remember the names of them all at this point
#this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay
#thst will also prescribe my adhd meds
#and my anxiety meds
#and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would
#only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it
#so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave
#and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something
#but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works
#but that they morally object to i guess
#and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like
#what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that
#I'll give her a nasty scrap about it
#im not interested in those meds at all
#and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best
#and removing that would just make me worse
#but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that
#and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow
#which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you
#if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers
#they just gotta pathologize!
#so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever
#i shouldn't have to deal with this
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