#or derek craven fucking that sex worker

[mermaidsirennikita]

saw the "who's your most underrated Kleypas hero" question getting bandied about (again) today, and I must say, the only answers I'll accept are:

--John McKenna/Again the Magic (I'd argue that AtM is not the DEEP CUT newer Kleypas readers think it is; before I read it, it was definitely upheld as a classic of hers, but people who want the softer boys she writes in the Ravenels... may not like this one; however, McKenna fucks RIDICULOUS lbr)

--Alex, Lord Raiford/Then Came You (yes... he calls her a bitch.... and I'll be real this made me love him more... he carried her over his shoulder outta Craven's and bought her a bear I'm VERY confident in this choice)

--Kev Merripen/Seduce Me at Sunrise (thought he'd kill Win with his massive dick, tied her up and took her to his fuck cottage, is Heathcliff if Heathcliff wasn't horrible basically)

--Leo Hathaway/Married by Morning (fun bout wounded king, "haha" in the streets and "oh shit" in the sheets, notable for making Catherine ask him to touch her pussy in explicit and specific language)

#romance novel blogging #besides rhys winterborne............ ravenel heroes are kinda mid! i'll be honest! #'but what of five feelings tom' his book bored me i'll try it again someday #west ravenel is the greatest disappointment of my life #gabriel and keir struggled under the weight of their father's slutty slutty legacy #devon was fine. but only fine. #don't even talk to me about ethan #mostly bc i don't remember a single defining feature #i just think the ravenels is a perfectly fine series #but to me it is truly dumbed down kleypas #it's kleypas for people who can't handle sebastian kidnapping lillian #or derek craven fucking that sex worker #or derek craven doing a minor stranglehold on a very bad lady #or alex calling lily a bitch (THERE ARE REASONS) #or kev refusing to take responsibility for tittygate bc he was very down on himself and also bc his dick might kill her #or mckenna spending literal years plotting aline's downfall lmao #leo is honestly p normal but he WAS a sad alcoholic!!! #(never mind westcliff being like 'well she seems into when she's blackout and that's good enough for me') #i just think the ravenels was written with the idea of appealing to people who don't go hard w historicals basically #and that doesn't mean you can't like it! i like several! including the one everyone hates! #but even the ones i like.... aside from MW i feel like there's some magic missing #and i think the magic is a lack of inhibition #and don't get me wrong lol she published bad books before the ravenels #books much worse than the ravenels #but like. idk. i just don't know how you can read like the ravenels #then go back and read the wallflowers or DoY or AtM #and not notice... a quality difference

[mermaidsirennikita]

oh, derek and sarah! rookie mistake!

thanks for sharing those marcus lines, though. he's so starchy and turned on and so mad about it. love it.

maybe your fav derek moments next? :D i especially love when he realizes the woman he takes into his library as a stand-in for sarah, is /actually/ sarah, and she's all half undressed and trapped under this very around and angry derek craven. whew!

An easy mistake to make! Derek and Marcus are both done with that classic Stepback Man Hair.

And yes, I have SOME of my favorite Derek moments here lol. Not all. In the least. I left out the adult breastfeeding moment, for example, because I've posted that... multiple times.

(This is from my auxiliary "readable paperback" copy, because that first edition is not to be fucked with.)

The moment when he loses his shit on her and is like "ACTUALLY I'M OBSESSED WITH YOU" and has her feel his erection, which does not in fact scare Sara away because she matches his freak. She kills me. He does his big spiel about wanting to melt into her skin and she's like ".... I don't see the issue".

Followed by this PLEASE SAY MY NAME JUST ONCE moment:

And this isn't romantic but it typifies Derek's self worth issues so well. Also, I maintain that it's actually really important that people who read this book get that Derek is a former sex worker, and sees himself as one, and ALSO has a respect for and bond with the sex workers at his club that is undoubtedly influenced by that (additionally, it's absolutely not a coincidence that Sara writes about a sex worker who ~saves herself from sin~ before meeting these women who are sex workers and discovering how they're like, PEOPLE--and for that matter, falling in love with and marrying a former sex worker).

Lol and then the scene you were talking about, which has some of the most VIVIDLY DESCRIPTIVE language I've ever read in a romance novel. YOU'VE HAD ME LIKE A DRAWN DOG!!!!

And Sara is like *slow blink* what's that

Also him not being able to stand her wriggling lmao there's nothing I love more than a romance hero who's like STOP. MOVING.

Not a direct Derek quote, but when Tabitha describes him coming to have sex with her (because he absolutely did fuck Tabitha... I wanna be clear...... and I'm soooooo good with that interpretation). It's so pathetically brokenhearted and sweet. Also I love that she's like "don't worry he was very sad and gentle".

This scene after he deflowers Sara and he's both very sweet and also wants to STAY INSIDE HER FOREVER!!!!!

The scene where he deadass chases her former fiancee out of her parents' house like a rabid dog and then is like "WHAT THE FUCK DID HE MEAN INSATIABLE LUST" and she has to explain in front of her parents that she was horny and trying (fruitlessly) to recreate what Derek made her feel and her dad is like welp that's enough singlehood for you Sara.

This increeeedibly erotic moment ("Sometimes I want to punish you a little" may be my favorite dialogue in the book). Derek's lines about wanting to live in Sara's pussy are my favorite things. He wants to like, build a small cottage in this woman's vagina and stay there forever. It's great. I I don't even care that it sounds like he hits her cervix sometimes because some people are into that and tbh if anyone's into that shit it's Sara

And of course, the blubbering love confession. HE WOULD'VE GIVEN HIS LIFE TO HAVE ONE MORE DAY WITH HER AND TELL HER HE LOVES HER.

And Alex Raiford is in the background like "loser" lmao

#romance novel blogging #my favorite kleypas sorry 2 that man @ everyone else #and i really don't just love it for derek lol #sara is sooooo a type of heroine i LOVE #just stumbling onto the page #killing a man dead #and going 'OH MY!'

[mermaidsirennikita]

Any romances with courtesans? They can even be the fun supporting characters.

Yep!

Unclaimed by Courtney Milan--Heroine is a sex worker/courtesan, hired by the villain to deflower the hero, who's known for being this all around good guy who's written about like... Waiting for love? It's all very "WAS I JUST A BET FOR YOU", we love it.

The Lord I Left by Scarlett Peckham--Heroine is a whipping mistress (dominatrix) in training, hero is a virgin minister, and they're on a road trip. I did not love this one, but lots of people do, so try it out. I did like the scene where the hero basically just like. Came in his pants just from being in her presence. I love that shit.

Daring and the Duke by Sarah MacLean--Heroine is an ex-sex worker who now works as a madam (among other things) and has sex worker friends in the sex club/brothel she runs.

All Scot and Bothered by Kerrigan Byrne--The heroine inherits like, a brothel that's actually a secret school for wayward girls? Like, women are allowed to live there and sell sex there to support themselves, but they don't have to. Has a good amount of sex worker background characters and the heroine often has to disguise herself as the madam, because the hero is a lawman who's convinced the brothel is trafficking kids. If your question is "how does he not realize it's the same person", the answer is "his dick is too big for us to care about him noticing things any rational human being would notice".

The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt--Heroine befriends some sex workers who help her go to the hero's favorite brothel, masked and dressed as a sex worker, to have sex with him. The brothel is called APHRODITE'S GROTTO. The hero is also her boss, yay.

Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas--The heroine is not a courtesan, but the hero sold sex back in the day and now runs a sort of like... brothel side business in his gambling hell? But he's friends with the girls and the heroine becomes friends with them too, and learns about sex work a bit. Leads to the Neverending Romance Question: DID DEREK CRAVEN FUCK THAT SEX WORKER WHILE HE WAS SAD ABOUT SENDING SARA AWAY? (.... obviously. Yes. Grow up. If you don't want him to have fucked that sex worker, I don't understand you.)

Sold to the Duke by Joanna Shupe--A novella originally featured in Rake I'd Like to F... The heroine is sort of a courtesan? She's selling her virginity in an auction to support herself and her sister after her brother dies, and her brother's friend happens to catch wind of it and is like "GOOD HEAVENS" and "buys" her fully expecting to just be like now take the money and go but she's like "as a woman of honor I must ride your dick now". And like, she's sooooooo right.

How to Steal A Scoundrel's Heart by Vivienne Lorret--Baby courtesan! The heroine is approached by the hero when she's on hard times and given an indecent proposal to become his mistress for four months. She agrees, but it's like, a total Pretty Woman situation where he falls in love with her, like, immediately.

The Return of the Duke by Lorraine Heath--Main conflict early in the book is that the heroine was the courtesan/mistress of the hero's dead father. Shenanigans ensue.

To Beguile A Beast by Elizabeth Hoyt--The heroine was the courtesan/mistress of a duke and had two children by him, but he gets increasingly more awful so she runs off to the the housekeeper to the scarred, bitter hero. They start fucking all over his castle PREEEEEETTY fast.

The Courtesan Duchess by Joanna Shupe--The crazy book where the heroine is trained by a courtesan in order to pose as one and seduce her husband, who never fucked her and hasn't seen her in years, so that she can get pregnant and have his son to chase off enemies breathing down her neck. Features one of my favorite "THE OTHER SHOE JUST DROPPED" moments in romance. Like, I know that ethically a baby trap is horrible and definitely bad and should never happen in real life, but I just can't resist romance novels where the hero gets baby trapped and like, dramatically confronts her about it all "WOW. E TU, BRUTE" even though he is like. Also objectively shitty. It only works if they're both kinda insane or shitty people.

#romance novel blogging #for a contemporary baby trap book that nails what i'm talking about: the pure raw insanity of nobody's baby but mine #'CLASS IS OVER WE'RE GETTING MARRIED SO OUR BABY TRAP BABY ISN'T A BASTARD' #book recs

[mermaidsirennikita]

Could you do a ranking of Kleypas books you have read?

Sure! A lot of my lower/mid books are kind of jumbled because it’s hard for me to rank things outside of like my top few. I’m saving a lot of her older novels for later this year.

1. Dreaming of You—best hero and heroine, favorite progression, Derek Craven is king

2. Devil in Winter—maybe the definitive “he’s a slut but he’s our slut” book

3. It Happened One Autumn—one of the best uptight needs wild books I’ve ever read

4. Married by Morning—love a Leo Hathaway. When he makes her tell him she wants him to touch her pussy, I do die

5. Marrying Winterborne—Rhys Winterborne is hot. He’s really hot. He’s so hot. He’s hot.

6. Devil in Disguise—a soap opera of a novel and the superior memory loss Kleypas book, I love fanservice. Also, the rare historical 69

7. Devil in Spring—Gabriel St. Vincent thinks that wanting to tie a woman up during sex is extremely scandalous and I do think that’s funny considering who his dad is

8. Suddenly You—a very good “I thought he was a sex worker and he’s actually my boss” novel, though the ending is a little rushed

9. Tempt Me At Twilight—I have issues with this one but I find Harry to be HILARIOUS. What a scammer

10. Seduce Me By Sunrise—tbh would be too 5 but the problematic shit kicks it down. But I do adore the love story between Kev and Win so fucking much. It’s like Wuthering Heights but not tragic?

11. Mine Till Midnight—similarly would be ranked higher but Issues. However I do find Cam’s obsession with being rakish sometimes irritating. Amelia is great though.

12. Worth Any Price—this one had some really hot content but it also had a problematic backstory, so we kick it down

13. Secrets of A Summer Night—a very good romance novel that isn’t quite exciting enough for me, but we love wallflowers

14. Scandal in Spring—see above, but lower because Simon Hunt FUCKS and Matthew is…. Less so

15. Love in The Afternoon—I do not actually like most epistolary novels and I found the conflict in this one weak

16. Lady Sophia’s Lover—good heroine, less into the hero as he seemed to be a standard strait laced type

17. Cold-Hearted Rake—kind of just okay in the love story part but when Rhys Winterborne kinda sexually threatens Kathleen (he was mad okay. I defend my husband no matter what) and asks if she wants a “bit o’ rough”—SHIVERS

18. Devil’s Daughter—honestly boring, I do not care about West becoming less fun in order to marry a single mom

19. Someone to Watch Over Me—the inferior amnesia book, could’ve been fun but didn’t go far enough

20. Chasing Cassandra—kind of cold for me; didn’t feel the connection between the leads

21. Hello Stranger—offensive (in the first iteration) and boring, love that the heroine was named Garrett but that’s basically it

#romance novel blogging #lisa kleypas #you don’t have to read cold hearted rake #but you do have to read he part where rhys corners kathleen and gets very mad and threatening bc it’s not

[mermaidsirennikita]

I just finished reading Dreaming of You for the first time. I went in knowing about the whole Derek fucking a prostitute because he’s so sad about Sara thing and honestly I don’t understand why it makes people so upset?? Like if anything I think it’s so sad and honestly pathetic that he’s so bad at handling emotions and feels so unworthy of love. The whole situation also underscores his character development and growth. I can’t image refusing to read the book because of that.

Oh haaaaard same. There's a weird St. Vincent vs. Derek Craven rivalry among Kleypas readers, which I personally... don't get lol. But that's one of the things I've seen St. Vincent shippers "charge" Derek with lol. He fucked a sex worker!!! (Maybe--I think he did, but you could argue that we never know.). It was consensual, we hear from her that she was fine with it, and it is like you say kinda sad and pathetic lol. He's just desperately missing Sara and trying to sort through his emotions and distract himself from how much he loves her. Like. Derek falls hard and FAST, he just doesn't want to admit to it.

A lot of romance readers automatically refuse to read books because the lead sleeps with someone other than the other lead... And idk, to me you miss out on a lot of good books when you do that.

#romance novel blogging

[mermaidsirennikita]

I was wrong when I cast Dev Patel as Westcliff in my nonexistent Wallflowers series (though Henry Golding as St. Vincent remains one of the most inspired decisions....... of my life)

Nah man Dev is Derek Craven

Dev Patel with a face scar, and a cockney accent, running a gambling hell, suckin' on titties in backrooms, stealing his love interest's spectacles just to idk be really weird about it

Dev Patel being like "lmao ofc I'll still suck on your titties when you're breastfeeding our child, EVEN BETTER ACTUALLY"

Dev Patel sending his love interest away for her own good and then sadly fucking some sex worker who looks like her yet somehow still being the hero of the story

Dev Patel delivering the line "I can't be innocent for her. I never was" while I claw my own face off

#derek craven was born in a drain pipe! he named himself!!!!!! #i can't believe it took this long for my love of derek craven #and my ultimate life goal of watching dev patel fuck onscreen #to intersect