LITTLE BIT OF UHH 3RD LIFE SCOTTISHBEANS I WROTE JUST NOW HEHEHE
Takes place in the last session (in an au where thereâs like. More time between events than just an hour or so.)
This is supposed to be a later chapter of a fic Iâm working on! Iâm doing things out of order đ so there are references to scenes I havenât yet written in it sorry it shouldnât be THAT bad tbh. When I actually make the fic this chapter will likely be edited whenever it appears haha
SHIP: Scott/Joel
WORD COUNT: 2143
WARNINGS (mostly just things to be aware of): somewhat of neck kissing, implied sexual stuff (just thinking about it very vaguely), flower husbands is mentioned but Jimmy is dead, headcanon with 3L!red!Joel and his monochrome/red skin, once again references to scenes I have not written, it may feel rather ooc but thatâs cuz this is meant to be a later chapter so theyâre already fairly close, repressing/denying feelings (and some failing at that), some pessimism about the war, NO DIALOGUE (when I planned this out I was like âwait thereâs no dialogueâ and decided Iâd take it as a challenge and really have just no dialogue)
â¤ď¸đđ
The war had been rough for everyone. It kept all players on edge, no matter how indirect their involvement was. At this point, it was pick a side or die in the crossfire. Scott and Joel had chosen the Desert, but neither of them had much reason to be part of the conflict.
The two had spent the past few days together, constantly running, though Scott could hardly tell if they were running to survive or running to kill. Somewhat of a mix of both, he figured. No matter the reason, they were constantly running, and nice peaceful moments were hard to come by.
Then it happened. They lost their target, the enemy hadnât seen them yet, they were alone in a remote part of the world. Scott was tired, the grass looked soft, and he flopped himself onto it. Joel was clearly still running on adrenaline despite accepting that it was break time, and so he practically jumped onto Scott, grabbed him, and rolled with him.
Scott had grown used to the annoying ways Joel would throw himself at Scott and jostle him around. He figured it was a red life thing. Jimmy had also become more physical after turning red, though never so aggressive. Through observing others, Scott knew that suppressing violent urges was harder for most reds than Jimmy made it look. Joel tackling Scott was clearly not an act of violence, rather an act of affection. He typically only did stuff like that when they had accomplished something, or at least had some fun.
This moment was the opposite of that. They lost their target, and usually Joel was frustrated at that. They werenât having fun running, either; it was exhausting and anxiety-inducing. And yet, in what shouldâve been a moment of catching their breaths and saying âbetter luck next time,â Joel had rolled in the grass with Scott.
It wasnât just Joel who acted out of character in that moment, for Scott would usually tell Joel off for playing so rough with him. It was mostly in a friendly manner, as Scott didnât mind too much, but it could be annoying when unexpected, like in this moment. But instead of doing that, Scott laughed. He held onto Joel, rolling with him, and laughed in delight.
The ground was rather flat, so they didnât roll very far. Joel sat up next to Scott, giggling with him. Scott figured that if Joel wasnât going to lay in the grass, he wouldnât either, and sat up as well, feeling a little dizzy from all the movement.
Scott shook his head and briefly brushed his hair with his hands, hoping to remove any dirt or grass. It wasnât a thorough job, so he had to hope he was lucky. He took a look at Joelâs hair, noticing that a few bits of grass had gotten tucked into his hair, enough to turn monochrome as well.
Scott managed to pull out one piece of grass before Joel swatted his hand away. Scott glared at Joel, who tried to glare back but was still smiling. Scott wasnât sure what that was about, but rolled his eyes and pulled Joel closer to remove the grass from his hair.
He knew that touching Joelâs hair like this made Joel flustered, but it needed to be done. Besides, he couldnât care about Joelâs expression when he was too busy observing how the grass would regain color when taken out of Joelâs hair. Sure, he had experimented with this phenomenon in the past (donât think about the flower) but it was never not fun to witness.
Scott was finally finished (it shouldnât have taken so long, but watching colors change can be so distractingâŚ) and pulled away to get a full look at Joel. His face was about as red as he expected (red being the only color allowed on Joelâs body was pretty unfortunate because it made his blush very obvious⌠but Scott didnât feel bad for him). The sight made Scott chuckle and ruffle Joelâs hair.
Joel had accepted this fate (it was obvious that he had, otherwise Scott wouldnât have been able to remove the grass at all). He seemed annoyed and embarrassed, yet once Scottâs hand left his head he moved himself onto Scottâs lap.
This surprised Scott, but instead of showing it or becoming flustered and embarrassed, it just made him happy. He wrapped his arms around Joel at the same time Joel did, sighing contentedly. For some reason this made Joel laugh quietly, and laughter had felt quite contagious in this moment so Scott giggled back.
There was no reason for them to be doing this. It didnât make sense. And yet, it felt so right. The world was falling apart around them, everyone knew it was endgame, there would be no peace. Scott and Joel had nothing left to hold onto, nothing left to fight for, but they had each other. They hadnât had each other a week ago, in fact they were quite against each other. But in the last moments of the world, the only thing they had was each other. It shouldâve been sad. It shouldâve been awkward. But Scott was having a great time.
Scott cupped Joelâs face in his hands to look at him. Joelâs face showed that he was also enjoying his time with Scott. This moment felt perfect. It was the most perfect moment in the world. There was one thing his heart wanted to do. He leaned in and kissed JoelâŚ
âŚon the cheek. Theyâre not in love! Theyâre not married! They were just two soldiers doing mindless battles together. A kiss on the cheek is enough for that- maybe even too much, really. They hadnât even declared themselves friends yet (mostly thatâs because there was no reason to. There would be nothing after the war worth having friends for).
But as Scott pulled away, he could feel it wasnât enough. He knew it was enough, he thought it was maybe too much, but he felt that it wasnât enough. He couldnât stop himself from leaning in for another kiss: planted right on Joelâs other cheek. Surely that would be enough.
Of course, it wasnât. Scott continued like this, kissing all over Joelâs face (never too close to the mouth) and thinking each time âthatâs it. Iâm done. Thatâs enough.â but never really feeling that. He failed to stop himself from kissing Joel, but was able to stop himself from kissing him on the lips.
The only person Scott had kissed was his husband, Jimmy. He couldnât imagine doing that to anyone else. Even though Jimmy was dead, it didnât make sense to Scott to move on so quickly. Well, with Jimmy it didnât take long to fall in love either⌠no, no, what is this train of thought?! Scott loved Jimmy, so much. He did not love Joel, not at all. They were barely acquaintances. A few nights sleeping under the stars together couldnât have changed that, right?
Scott could not bear the thought of moving on from Jimmy, which meant he couldnât bear the thought of loving Joel, which meant he couldnât bear the thought of kissing him on the lips. And yet, he needed to. Every quick kiss he planted onto Joelâs face didnât satiate his desire at all. He wanted more, so much so that the rational part of his brain was struggling to stop him.
At this point, it was almost worse than just kissing Joel. An endless stream of kisses, all over his face (minus his mouth). Thatâs gotta be worse at this point, right? But Scott couldnât stop. The part of Scott that didnât want to make Joel uncomfortable noted that Joel hadnât made even a noise of protest, and he knew that if Joel didnât like this he would be shoved off instantly. The rest of Scottâs brain didnât want to think of the implications of Joel liking this. Repressing feelings is much easier when itâs not mutual. If Joel had shoved Scott away, he wouldnât be having this dilemma at all.
Scott had found a way to rationalize what he was doing. He just missed Jimmy so much, that he was desperate to give affection like he had with Jimmy. Surely, he would be acting like this to anybody, not just Joel. He even extended this rationality to Joel, deciding that he had just been so lonely this whole season that he would take affection from anyone, it had nothing to do with Scott.
None of this was true, but Scott held onto this idea. He wasnât in love with Joel, he just missed Jimmy so much. Joel didnât love Scott, he was just lonely (that one, at least, was more believable. Still not true). This is what Scott would tell himself any time he would think back to this moment. He would believe it, too, no matter how much his heart proved the theory wrong.
Scott had begun doing a circle of kisses around Joelâs face, starting from one cheek and going up from there, then to Joelâs forehead, then down to the other cheek. As previously mentioned he tried to stop himself each time, but obviously, it was never enough, and he had to complete the circle.
Once he reached Joelâs other cheek, he still wasnât satisfied, and it technically wasnât a circle unless he crossed over to the other cheek again. He would never kiss Joel on the mouth though, so he began kissing downwards, towards Joelâs chin. This is where things went wrong (or maybe right).
After Scott kissed Joelâs chin (kind of an awkward place to kiss, honestly) Joel had tilted his head up. Exposing his neck. Scott did not hesitate to press his lips against Joelâs neck. He did, however, hesitate to go much further than that. This much more intimate position snapped Scott out of his haze of wanting to kiss Joel.
His lips rested on Joelâs neck a moment longer, the moment Scott was trying to figure out what was going on. When he finally realized, he pulled away. Joel seemed to also take a moment to figure out what had happened before lowering his head. This made their eyes meet, and they stared at each other dumbfounded; like neither of them knew what was going on. Honestly, they probably didnât. Everything that just transpired was so spontaneous.
Joelâs face was very red, and Scott imagined his own face wasnât too different. Scott wanted to say something, but what? Sorry for almost kissing you on the neck? That was hardly Scottâs fault, Joel was the one who exposed his neck for Scott!! Sorry for NOT kissing you on the neck?! Heâs recently been widowed! He canât just go immediately kissing another manâs neck!
Why had Joel done that anyway?! Scott could hardly believe it. A red name who had spent a decent amount of time trying to kill him just exposed his neck to Scott. To kiss. Scott was a yellow name! Joelâs supposed to want to kill him, he did want to kill him in the past, but in this moment he had silently asked Scott to kiss his neck. And Scott almost did. God, what were they doing?!
Joel mustâve been really embarrassed, but Scott couldnât tease him for it, not when he was also acting so⌠intimate. Scott tried to think back to figure out who started it, but the memory almost felt hazy and he got too embarrassed thinking about it so he gave up. It didnât matter who started it anyway; they both indulged. Indulged quite a bit⌠what wouldâve happened if Scott didnât stop where he had? How far would they have gone?! Now this thought was too embarrassing for Scott to dwell on. Surely Joel wouldnât have wanted to go THAT farâŚ
After a while of staring at each other, Joel got off Scottâs lap and looked away. Wow, he was really embarrassed. He looked so small like this. Scott felt bad; having been the one who stopped that interaction he could at least pretend he didnât want it. He wouldnât do that to Joel, though. The only person heâd lie to about that is himself.
Scott laid down on the grass. It was incredibly awkward between the two, and neither could seem to say anything about it. It seemed best to just rest. Slow that heart rate to normal, breathe. This is what they shouldâve been doing when they stopped in the field. Resting. Without touching.
Neither of them moved to interact with each other. Eventually, they got up to continue the war. Neither of them spoke of that moment ever again.
It was just a moment of weakness on both their parts; Joel being lonely and Scott missing Jimmy. They didnât want each other. Not at all.
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Saturday, April 22nd 2023
Sun in Taurus âď¸đ, Moon in Gemini âď¸đ¨
The moon makes its way into Gemini in the early morning hours. This energy is playful, communicative and social. Geminiâs ruler however is Mercury which is now retrograde so be sure to revisit or double check things before agreeing to them. All agreements, contracts etc. should be looked over with a fine-tooth comb, read and re-read before signing. If contracts can be avoided or pushed out a few weeks, itâs recommended.
The Gemini Moon will trine Pluto in Aquarius which makes us really curious and inquisitive anyway helping with the above mentioned energy and just generally helping us dot our Tâs and cross our Iâs. Great for researching or learning new things.
Later in the day the Gemini Moon goes on to square Saturn in Pisces. This energy can bring on self doubt or pessimism and keep your thought process limited. Thereâs potential for negative self talk with this transit as well.
Work your way through any boundaries, obstacles or self doubt that may come your way today but overall, Geminiâs playful nature is present making for a very nice Saturday! âŽď¸đâ¨
Learn more about your personal energies and how the daily forecast affects you! Comment belowâŹď¸ or DM me for a FREE consultation.
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Love Reading đ¤¤- October 2023 - Aquarius
Singles:
Overall energy: 3 Wands
How you will meet: Judgement rev
How they will treat you: Queen of Cups
Long-term Potential: Death, The Hanged Man rev & 10 Cups
Oracle: Om Sweet Om
PHOENIX đĽ
- New Phase & Rekindle
- Renew & Growth
- Changed Mind
- Rise From Ashes
This is likeâŚturning a hoe into a housewife kind of energy đ Not literally, maybe. The passion was on point way before love came into the picture, in fact itâs after you swear off this person forever, that they realize they caught feels. There is time & emotion invested into this, a transformative âPhoenixâ energy about this person. They didnât realize how special you were until you had enough of their bs, or this casual fling, and anyone else thatâs non-committal or has options, fk that. You wonât give any more of your energy to that. And theyâre likeâŚI can change đŤ Hahahaha. Maybe not immediately, maybe so, either way. Wheel of Fortune here is a lesson, probably karmic, and theyâre learning it, because with Queen of Cups, theyâre in love with you. You make them feel all of the things they should be, and they didnât even realize it.
Messages -
Their side:
- I love the way you look at me.
- In love with you đ
Your side:
- New Perspective
- You hurt me first.
Signs you may be dealing with:
Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer & Sagittarius
Couples:
Overall energy: 4 Wands rev
Current: 10 Wands rev
Challenge: The Star rev, 6 Wands & 2 Wands
How they feel about you: 8 Pentacles
How you feel about them: 4 Swords
Outcome: Temperance
The relationship between you seems solid, but thereâs some external thing going on in the family, probably with you and your sibling/s, family, friends, or theyâre involved somehow. There is a celebration mentioned, a reunion, or that was the goal, and I donât see that playing out how youâd hoped. Itâs something you have to give up on, something thatâs a heavy weight on your shoulders, and one youâre probably carrying quietly, because youâre person is off doing their own thing for the most part. Itâs causing unrest in a normally stable home. There is disappointment and sadness surrounding disconnection, or being alone. Youâre in your head over it, how you wish things couldâve been different.
The challenge is pessimism, you donât have any hope that this can get better, things can move forward. Something has happened that was a betrayal, feeling stabbed in the back, this couldâve happened quite suddenly, and you were shocked. It couldâve changed everything, Towers usually do. Or at least your perception of how things were vs. how they really are, thatâs a repeated message. Youâre needing to gain clarity and see the truth of whatâs really going on with some of the people around you.
Your person is pretty black & white in their feelings. Their focus is mostly related to work, and avoiding any drama. If they are involved in any way, itâs attempting to keep the peace, putting effort into just being nice & avoiding topics that may set others off. They could see how much effort youâve put into attempting to heal relationships that are troubled & bring drama to you life, to no avail. You feel like youâre just done, you need clarity, need to heal, need to take a break from the stress this puts on your shoulders, like itâs not even your job. Relating to your person, they could be encouraging you to give up on this painful dynamic in the family, because it only hurts you. Youâre guarded about the family, your person is guarded about you, youâre aware this all just needs to be released because you canât deal with the pressure. Itâs too much. You definitely feel betrayed.
Outcome for mid Nov is trying to get back to a place of peace in yourself, cutting through the bs and realizing the truth of a situation thatâs maybe fooled you for some time. You could be dealing with a liar or manipulator, and are seeing the light (good for you). Or you just saw this differently, more positively, and youâre âseeing the lightâ, even if thatâs deeply disappointing for you. It seems like most of you are releasing yourself from this situation entirely, for your own peace of mind. Others of you, itâs possible this person is trying to reunite with you, and youâre going to be realizing how manipulative they really are. If theyâre lying, youâll see it eventually đŻ The challenge is not being able to unsee it, and everything changes.
Messages -
Their side:
- Sibling Drama
- I am happy where I am
Your side:
- Yearns for your love.
- Quietly observing
Oracles - You are a child of the universe đŞ
Their side:
THE BUTTERFLY đŚ
- Evolving & Growth
- Next Phase
- Healing Inner Child
- Releasing the Past
Your side:
LOVE CALL đą
- Expressing Love
- Messages of Love
- Thinking of You
- Informing You
Signs you may be dealing with:
Aries, Cancer, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius & Virgo
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