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#pessimism is mentioned 💚
norremire ¡ 1 month
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Another adorable pic from @dataglitch !! This time Pluvia is giving Vanitas a manicure 💅💚
Fic about that can be read here!
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the-somwthing ¡ 5 months
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LITTLE BIT OF UHH 3RD LIFE SCOTTISHBEANS I WROTE JUST NOW HEHEHE
Takes place in the last session (in an au where there’s like. More time between events than just an hour or so.)
This is supposed to be a later chapter of a fic I’m working on! I’m doing things out of order 😭 so there are references to scenes I haven’t yet written in it sorry it shouldn’t be THAT bad tbh. When I actually make the fic this chapter will likely be edited whenever it appears haha
SHIP: Scott/Joel
WORD COUNT: 2143
WARNINGS (mostly just things to be aware of): somewhat of neck kissing, implied sexual stuff (just thinking about it very vaguely), flower husbands is mentioned but Jimmy is dead, headcanon with 3L!red!Joel and his monochrome/red skin, once again references to scenes I have not written, it may feel rather ooc but that’s cuz this is meant to be a later chapter so they’re already fairly close, repressing/denying feelings (and some failing at that), some pessimism about the war, NO DIALOGUE (when I planned this out I was like “wait there’s no dialogue” and decided I’d take it as a challenge and really have just no dialogue)
❤️💛💚
The war had been rough for everyone. It kept all players on edge, no matter how indirect their involvement was. At this point, it was pick a side or die in the crossfire. Scott and Joel had chosen the Desert, but neither of them had much reason to be part of the conflict.
The two had spent the past few days together, constantly running, though Scott could hardly tell if they were running to survive or running to kill. Somewhat of a mix of both, he figured. No matter the reason, they were constantly running, and nice peaceful moments were hard to come by.
Then it happened. They lost their target, the enemy hadn’t seen them yet, they were alone in a remote part of the world. Scott was tired, the grass looked soft, and he flopped himself onto it. Joel was clearly still running on adrenaline despite accepting that it was break time, and so he practically jumped onto Scott, grabbed him, and rolled with him.
Scott had grown used to the annoying ways Joel would throw himself at Scott and jostle him around. He figured it was a red life thing. Jimmy had also become more physical after turning red, though never so aggressive. Through observing others, Scott knew that suppressing violent urges was harder for most reds than Jimmy made it look. Joel tackling Scott was clearly not an act of violence, rather an act of affection. He typically only did stuff like that when they had accomplished something, or at least had some fun.
This moment was the opposite of that. They lost their target, and usually Joel was frustrated at that. They weren’t having fun running, either; it was exhausting and anxiety-inducing. And yet, in what should’ve been a moment of catching their breaths and saying “better luck next time,” Joel had rolled in the grass with Scott.
It wasn’t just Joel who acted out of character in that moment, for Scott would usually tell Joel off for playing so rough with him. It was mostly in a friendly manner, as Scott didn’t mind too much, but it could be annoying when unexpected, like in this moment. But instead of doing that, Scott laughed. He held onto Joel, rolling with him, and laughed in delight.
The ground was rather flat, so they didn’t roll very far. Joel sat up next to Scott, giggling with him. Scott figured that if Joel wasn’t going to lay in the grass, he wouldn’t either, and sat up as well, feeling a little dizzy from all the movement.
Scott shook his head and briefly brushed his hair with his hands, hoping to remove any dirt or grass. It wasn’t a thorough job, so he had to hope he was lucky. He took a look at Joel’s hair, noticing that a few bits of grass had gotten tucked into his hair, enough to turn monochrome as well.
Scott managed to pull out one piece of grass before Joel swatted his hand away. Scott glared at Joel, who tried to glare back but was still smiling. Scott wasn’t sure what that was about, but rolled his eyes and pulled Joel closer to remove the grass from his hair.
He knew that touching Joel’s hair like this made Joel flustered, but it needed to be done. Besides, he couldn’t care about Joel’s expression when he was too busy observing how the grass would regain color when taken out of Joel’s hair. Sure, he had experimented with this phenomenon in the past (don’t think about the flower) but it was never not fun to witness.
Scott was finally finished (it shouldn’t have taken so long, but watching colors change can be so distracting…) and pulled away to get a full look at Joel. His face was about as red as he expected (red being the only color allowed on Joel’s body was pretty unfortunate because it made his blush very obvious… but Scott didn’t feel bad for him). The sight made Scott chuckle and ruffle Joel’s hair.
Joel had accepted this fate (it was obvious that he had, otherwise Scott wouldn’t have been able to remove the grass at all). He seemed annoyed and embarrassed, yet once Scott’s hand left his head he moved himself onto Scott’s lap.
This surprised Scott, but instead of showing it or becoming flustered and embarrassed, it just made him happy. He wrapped his arms around Joel at the same time Joel did, sighing contentedly. For some reason this made Joel laugh quietly, and laughter had felt quite contagious in this moment so Scott giggled back.
There was no reason for them to be doing this. It didn’t make sense. And yet, it felt so right. The world was falling apart around them, everyone knew it was endgame, there would be no peace. Scott and Joel had nothing left to hold onto, nothing left to fight for, but they had each other. They hadn’t had each other a week ago, in fact they were quite against each other. But in the last moments of the world, the only thing they had was each other. It should’ve been sad. It should’ve been awkward. But Scott was having a great time.
Scott cupped Joel’s face in his hands to look at him. Joel’s face showed that he was also enjoying his time with Scott. This moment felt perfect. It was the most perfect moment in the world. There was one thing his heart wanted to do. He leaned in and kissed Joel…
…on the cheek. They’re not in love! They’re not married! They were just two soldiers doing mindless battles together. A kiss on the cheek is enough for that- maybe even too much, really. They hadn’t even declared themselves friends yet (mostly that’s because there was no reason to. There would be nothing after the war worth having friends for).
But as Scott pulled away, he could feel it wasn’t enough. He knew it was enough, he thought it was maybe too much, but he felt that it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning in for another kiss: planted right on Joel’s other cheek. Surely that would be enough.
Of course, it wasn’t. Scott continued like this, kissing all over Joel’s face (never too close to the mouth) and thinking each time “that’s it. I’m done. That’s enough.” but never really feeling that. He failed to stop himself from kissing Joel, but was able to stop himself from kissing him on the lips.
The only person Scott had kissed was his husband, Jimmy. He couldn’t imagine doing that to anyone else. Even though Jimmy was dead, it didn’t make sense to Scott to move on so quickly. Well, with Jimmy it didn’t take long to fall in love either… no, no, what is this train of thought?! Scott loved Jimmy, so much. He did not love Joel, not at all. They were barely acquaintances. A few nights sleeping under the stars together couldn’t have changed that, right?
Scott could not bear the thought of moving on from Jimmy, which meant he couldn’t bear the thought of loving Joel, which meant he couldn’t bear the thought of kissing him on the lips. And yet, he needed to. Every quick kiss he planted onto Joel’s face didn’t satiate his desire at all. He wanted more, so much so that the rational part of his brain was struggling to stop him.
At this point, it was almost worse than just kissing Joel. An endless stream of kisses, all over his face (minus his mouth). That’s gotta be worse at this point, right? But Scott couldn’t stop. The part of Scott that didn’t want to make Joel uncomfortable noted that Joel hadn’t made even a noise of protest, and he knew that if Joel didn’t like this he would be shoved off instantly. The rest of Scott’s brain didn’t want to think of the implications of Joel liking this. Repressing feelings is much easier when it’s not mutual. If Joel had shoved Scott away, he wouldn’t be having this dilemma at all.
Scott had found a way to rationalize what he was doing. He just missed Jimmy so much, that he was desperate to give affection like he had with Jimmy. Surely, he would be acting like this to anybody, not just Joel. He even extended this rationality to Joel, deciding that he had just been so lonely this whole season that he would take affection from anyone, it had nothing to do with Scott.
None of this was true, but Scott held onto this idea. He wasn’t in love with Joel, he just missed Jimmy so much. Joel didn’t love Scott, he was just lonely (that one, at least, was more believable. Still not true). This is what Scott would tell himself any time he would think back to this moment. He would believe it, too, no matter how much his heart proved the theory wrong.
Scott had begun doing a circle of kisses around Joel’s face, starting from one cheek and going up from there, then to Joel’s forehead, then down to the other cheek. As previously mentioned he tried to stop himself each time, but obviously, it was never enough, and he had to complete the circle.
Once he reached Joel’s other cheek, he still wasn’t satisfied, and it technically wasn’t a circle unless he crossed over to the other cheek again. He would never kiss Joel on the mouth though, so he began kissing downwards, towards Joel’s chin. This is where things went wrong (or maybe right).
After Scott kissed Joel’s chin (kind of an awkward place to kiss, honestly) Joel had tilted his head up. Exposing his neck. Scott did not hesitate to press his lips against Joel’s neck. He did, however, hesitate to go much further than that. This much more intimate position snapped Scott out of his haze of wanting to kiss Joel.
His lips rested on Joel’s neck a moment longer, the moment Scott was trying to figure out what was going on. When he finally realized, he pulled away. Joel seemed to also take a moment to figure out what had happened before lowering his head. This made their eyes meet, and they stared at each other dumbfounded; like neither of them knew what was going on. Honestly, they probably didn’t. Everything that just transpired was so spontaneous.
Joel’s face was very red, and Scott imagined his own face wasn’t too different. Scott wanted to say something, but what? Sorry for almost kissing you on the neck? That was hardly Scott’s fault, Joel was the one who exposed his neck for Scott!! Sorry for NOT kissing you on the neck?! He’s recently been widowed! He can’t just go immediately kissing another man’s neck!
Why had Joel done that anyway?! Scott could hardly believe it. A red name who had spent a decent amount of time trying to kill him just exposed his neck to Scott. To kiss. Scott was a yellow name! Joel’s supposed to want to kill him, he did want to kill him in the past, but in this moment he had silently asked Scott to kiss his neck. And Scott almost did. God, what were they doing?!
Joel must’ve been really embarrassed, but Scott couldn’t tease him for it, not when he was also acting so… intimate. Scott tried to think back to figure out who started it, but the memory almost felt hazy and he got too embarrassed thinking about it so he gave up. It didn’t matter who started it anyway; they both indulged. Indulged quite a bit… what would’ve happened if Scott didn’t stop where he had? How far would they have gone?! Now this thought was too embarrassing for Scott to dwell on. Surely Joel wouldn’t have wanted to go THAT far…
After a while of staring at each other, Joel got off Scott’s lap and looked away. Wow, he was really embarrassed. He looked so small like this. Scott felt bad; having been the one who stopped that interaction he could at least pretend he didn’t want it. He wouldn’t do that to Joel, though. The only person he’d lie to about that is himself.
Scott laid down on the grass. It was incredibly awkward between the two, and neither could seem to say anything about it. It seemed best to just rest. Slow that heart rate to normal, breathe. This is what they should’ve been doing when they stopped in the field. Resting. Without touching.
Neither of them moved to interact with each other. Eventually, they got up to continue the war. Neither of them spoke of that moment ever again.
It was just a moment of weakness on both their parts; Joel being lonely and Scott missing Jimmy. They didn’t want each other. Not at all.
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growwithmeastrology ¡ 1 year
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Saturday, April 22nd 2023
Sun in Taurus ♉️🌎, Moon in Gemini ♊️💨
The moon makes its way into Gemini in the early morning hours. This energy is playful, communicative and social. Gemini’s ruler however is Mercury which is now retrograde so be sure to revisit or double check things before agreeing to them. All agreements, contracts etc. should be looked over with a fine-tooth comb, read and re-read before signing. If contracts can be avoided or pushed out a few weeks, it’s recommended.
The Gemini Moon will trine Pluto in Aquarius which makes us really curious and inquisitive anyway helping with the above mentioned energy and just generally helping us dot our T’s and cross our I’s. Great for researching or learning new things.
Later in the day the Gemini Moon goes on to square Saturn in Pisces. This energy can bring on self doubt or pessimism and keep your thought process limited. There’s potential for negative self talk with this transit as well.
Work your way through any boundaries, obstacles or self doubt that may come your way today but overall, Gemini’s playful nature is present making for a very nice Saturday! ☮️💚✨
Learn more about your personal energies and how the daily forecast affects you! Comment below⬇️ or DM me for a FREE consultation.
Grow With Me Astrology provides astrological roadmaps that empowers people to take full control of their lives.
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#growwithme #astrology #loveyourself #bethechange #healing #dailyhoroscope #selfcare #love #zodiac #sun #aries #venusingemini #plutoinaquarius #solareclipse #saturninpisces #taurus #mercuryretrograde
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alyjojo ¡ 7 months
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Love Reading 🤤- October 2023 - Aquarius
Singles:
Overall energy: 3 Wands
How you will meet: Judgement rev
How they will treat you: Queen of Cups
Long-term Potential: Death, The Hanged Man rev & 10 Cups
Oracle: Om Sweet Om
PHOENIX 🔥
- New Phase & Rekindle
- Renew & Growth
- Changed Mind
- Rise From Ashes
This is like…turning a hoe into a housewife kind of energy 😆 Not literally, maybe. The passion was on point way before love came into the picture, in fact it’s after you swear off this person forever, that they realize they caught feels. There is time & emotion invested into this, a transformative “Phoenix” energy about this person. They didn’t realize how special you were until you had enough of their bs, or this casual fling, and anyone else that’s non-committal or has options, fk that. You won’t give any more of your energy to that. And they’re like…I can change 😫 Hahahaha. Maybe not immediately, maybe so, either way. Wheel of Fortune here is a lesson, probably karmic, and they’re learning it, because with Queen of Cups, they’re in love with you. You make them feel all of the things they should be, and they didn’t even realize it.
Messages -
Their side:
- I love the way you look at me.
- In love with you 💚
Your side:
- New Perspective
- You hurt me first.
Signs you may be dealing with:
Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer & Sagittarius
Couples:
Overall energy: 4 Wands rev
Current: 10 Wands rev
Challenge: The Star rev, 6 Wands & 2 Wands
How they feel about you: 8 Pentacles
How you feel about them: 4 Swords
Outcome: Temperance
The relationship between you seems solid, but there’s some external thing going on in the family, probably with you and your sibling/s, family, friends, or they’re involved somehow. There is a celebration mentioned, a reunion, or that was the goal, and I don’t see that playing out how you’d hoped. It’s something you have to give up on, something that’s a heavy weight on your shoulders, and one you’re probably carrying quietly, because you’re person is off doing their own thing for the most part. It’s causing unrest in a normally stable home. There is disappointment and sadness surrounding disconnection, or being alone. You’re in your head over it, how you wish things could’ve been different.
The challenge is pessimism, you don’t have any hope that this can get better, things can move forward. Something has happened that was a betrayal, feeling stabbed in the back, this could’ve happened quite suddenly, and you were shocked. It could’ve changed everything, Towers usually do. Or at least your perception of how things were vs. how they really are, that’s a repeated message. You’re needing to gain clarity and see the truth of what’s really going on with some of the people around you.
Your person is pretty black & white in their feelings. Their focus is mostly related to work, and avoiding any drama. If they are involved in any way, it’s attempting to keep the peace, putting effort into just being nice & avoiding topics that may set others off. They could see how much effort you’ve put into attempting to heal relationships that are troubled & bring drama to you life, to no avail. You feel like you’re just done, you need clarity, need to heal, need to take a break from the stress this puts on your shoulders, like it’s not even your job. Relating to your person, they could be encouraging you to give up on this painful dynamic in the family, because it only hurts you. You’re guarded about the family, your person is guarded about you, you’re aware this all just needs to be released because you can’t deal with the pressure. It’s too much. You definitely feel betrayed.
Outcome for mid Nov is trying to get back to a place of peace in yourself, cutting through the bs and realizing the truth of a situation that’s maybe fooled you for some time. You could be dealing with a liar or manipulator, and are seeing the light (good for you). Or you just saw this differently, more positively, and you’re “seeing the light”, even if that’s deeply disappointing for you. It seems like most of you are releasing yourself from this situation entirely, for your own peace of mind. Others of you, it’s possible this person is trying to reunite with you, and you’re going to be realizing how manipulative they really are. If they’re lying, you’ll see it eventually 💯 The challenge is not being able to unsee it, and everything changes.
Messages -
Their side:
- Sibling Drama
- I am happy where I am
Your side:
- Yearns for your love.
- Quietly observing
Oracles - You are a child of the universe 🪐
Their side:
THE BUTTERFLY 🦋
- Evolving & Growth
- Next Phase
- Healing Inner Child
- Releasing the Past
Your side:
LOVE CALL 📱
- Expressing Love
- Messages of Love
- Thinking of You
- Informing You
Signs you may be dealing with:
Aries, Cancer, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius & Virgo
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