#she's strong and she's proud but she's also undisciplined and cruel and kind of pathetic

[whetstonefires]

Madam Yu is so much of a character in so little space, it's fantastic, and it's funny to me being also in the Scum Villain fandom because. She is very much set up on the same character framework as Shen Jiu. She's that same Kind Of A Guy.

But ofc her trauma foundation is in being a proud woman in a world that does not value womanhood, and without the social skills to get anyone to forgive her for it. So she's less violently fucked up than he is.

But like him, she's all twisted up around the sensation that her suffering is her own fault for being the wrong sort of person. Which is an unutterably fucking corrosive mindset.

And I really think that she doesn't in the least believe that her husband loved or had an affair with Cangse Sanren. She's humiliated that other people believe it, and furious that he's encouraged them to, but she doesn't think it's true.

What she thinks is that Jiang Fengmian liked Cangse Sanren. As a person.

And of course, he doesn't like her. Because who could? Yu Ziyuan is not the sort of person people like.

And then Jiang Cheng, her son who takes after her, is basically just an extension of herself. So obviously, his father doesn't like him, either.

And she says this. Out loud, in front of him. While having honestly a really embarrassing meltdown.

I'm sure one of the things driving it is worry, because as she'd just acknowledged even though she's now blaming her husband about it they have to send either Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli into the hands of the Wen or face reprisals, which she doesn't want to face either, and obviously Jiang Yanli would be toast.

But if your response to worrying about your kid is to make fun of him, yell at him, shame him, and shout that his father doesn't love him in a weird tantrum before storming out and going to your room where he isn't allowed, you are failing as a parent on such a fantastic variety of levels idk where to start.

#hoc est meum #yu ziyuan #very much a person defined by her insecurities #and we really need to embrace that more #she's strong and she's proud but she's also undisciplined and cruel and kind of pathetic #and utterly incapable of expressing emotion in a healthy way #mdzs