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#so yeah dont feel like u can't talk abt fluffy fh near me or anything i probs just wont have stuff to add lol
liauditore Β· 9 months
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for some reason ur ask is cursed by an evil spirit and webbed site spilled spaghetti sauce all over itself when i tried to answer it so ig we're doing this now @sharksome-nen
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half the board being coloured in but no bingo sums up me and this ship perfectly i think.
me being REALLY unhinged below the cut about toxic!fh (a teeny tiny bit neg/discoursey on empires if u squint). gets rlly abuse-y.
ohohohohohoh ur trying to get me killleedddddd.. :D
they're so special to me i hate them so much.
ok so uh i wrote a Whole Thing but it was getting way too ramble-y but basically uh. not a fan of romantic!fh. empires writing is very understandably not perfect and i saw some disturbing implications between the lines and couldn't help but fixate on them and it kind of soured any fluffy!fh fan content for me. sorry im a grinch and i was born with hate in my heartπŸ™πŸ™
but uh... if u take those disturbing implications out of the lines, x500 their size and severity, apply a dash of self-projection and start associating songs sung from the pov of abusers with it?? oho. ohohoho. oh that's. that's the good stuff.
i have this rlly cursed notepad doc where i basically vomit Ship Thoughts tm onto so here's the entire fh section copy+pasted. πŸ‘
probably the most explicitly romantic and the most explicitly toxic. They DO love each other a lot. Jimmy looks up to Scott (he's so cool!) and would do anything just to live a happy life with him. I imagine that he's had a crush on him for the longest time from a distance, but didn't approach him until 3L because he didn't think Scott would look in his direction. Scott loves Jimmy deeply too but in the way someone might love a pet or a toy. "How's this poor thing going to survive on his own?" is probably what he uses to justify alot of what he puts Jimmy through. I imagine that Scott is someone who's lived a very monitored and controlled life (he gives me royalty vibes) and probably doesn't understand the extent of the abuse he's been put through or the way it's warped his perception of love. Love is a conditional commodity for him at this point in 3L and right now he's using it to buy some protection (never a good idea to go solo in a death game arena). So everytime he scolds or hits Jimmy it's always out of love, always for his own good, if he doesn't learn how to act now then someone will kill him for running his mouth eventually. Especially in the 3L Death Game. And Jimmy puts up with it and believes him because he hasn't learnt to respect himself yet. But as the games go on I do believe Scott begins to fall for Jimmy in a more genuine, kind way. Still not wholesome but he's very much not just extra numbers for safety anymore. He feels scorching regret for what he did after Jimmy dies but won't admit it to himself or anyone else. It's a selfish kind of regret, he hates himself more than he loves Jimmy, but it's still there. Post-3L Jimmy has some time away from Scott during LL before meeting Tango in DL, a partner who respects and even admires him, who gives him the space to grow and the trust to take risks that would better the both of them. Jimmy gains newfound confidence and a new perspective on his previous relationships, culminating in him actually standing up to Scott in LimL and refusing his offer to get back together. He's grown up. Scott, on the other hand, fares much more poorly. He is offered genuine love, unconditional love and it frightens him because he can't understand it (he doesn't think he's love-able). What does she want from him? He can't control Pearl the way he could with Jimmy and she Scares him. It doesn't matter, he can manage by himself (he always has) and he has an eye for finding kindred spirits. But it's not the same (he misses him). (he needs his Pet back) (he needs his Control back) He doesn't get it. final diagnosis: what should have been a beautiful love story twisted into something awful, divorced and should not re-marry even if Scott wants to.
ngl there is that.. little part of me that really wants jimmy to relapse and go crawling back cus old habits die hard, right? but on the other hand i. i want my son to be happy. sometimes.
I like writing characters with super messed up warped perceptions of love and hurt themselves and others in the process with it. its evil and sexy.
if we're gonna get into the whole song lyrics thing i really really love using mahiru's milgram songs for fh (even tho i associate scott more with muu). they just make sense to me. lyrics from haruko because i adore their covers.
(also uh these songs are about an abusive relationship and the second one has not so subtle suicide imagery in the mv so know that if ur gonna seek them out)
I'll love you till you fall And won't feel bad at all, Because I still get worried Could you please forgive me? Every little thing I only say to get to you Every little thing I do when "you and me are through" That's me loving you
Do my feelings drive you crazy? Sorry I don't care you baby. Tell me please, Tell me please, Why don't you ever love like me?
I just... i think scott genuinely caring for jimmy and wanting to keep him safe but like.. scott's brand of 'safe' is guard up at all times and manipulating those around you. and jimmy's useless at it/doesn't even catch on at all and it just ends up frustrating scott more.
Told you I loved you and then did what I did The right is gone and we're done, I'm crossed and covered in sin My love, it got it's lick back, Destroyed me, I deserved that, Tell the truth, Tell the truth, Why can't I ever love like you?
i LOVE the idea of scott regretting how he treated jimmy too late and still being in denial about it oufhlsdfhfls
so uh yeah it's an okay ship πŸ‘
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