#something something i wanted to know if i was bipolar bc i haven't gone to therapy in........... uh.... a while. but i highly doubt it

[beanghostprincess]

Sabo still struggles with memory loss. He had his childhood back, of course, he remembers Ace and Luffy and everything they did together. But he doesn't remember some stuff. Some anecdotes Luffy tells oh so excitedly? He can't recall that those happened. And if he does, it's all blurry and never at all like Luffy says. But he never says anything because that would break his brother's heart, to know his older brother isn't fully back with him, so he nods and smiles and pretends he knows what Luffy is talking about every time.

His room is filled with Post-it notes. Stupid, really. Dumb stuff. But he has all the meetings he needs to remember and the missions he has to do, along with everything he wants to write down at some point properly. The walls are covered in pictures of the people he loves (Luffy, Ace, Koala, Robin... All the others that have ever meant something to him because he refuses to forget somebody again).

He keeps writing dumb stuff down. Anything. He refuses to forget. He denies the possibility of doing it again.

But he forgets. Sabo keeps forgetting important dates. Important parts of his life, like his past with his brothers (he forgets a random adventure they had that he swore he had talked about the day prior) and crucial things he has to do. He has a hard time picturing his memories. Putting them in his brain. Turning them into images. Saying it's frustrating is a huge understatement.

Koala helps him out, of course. She's hard on him so he finishes his paperwork, but she knows it's difficult sometimes. She's his personal calendar and diary. She informs him of what he has to do during the week and always tries to talk and talk about anecdotes that she knows he still remembers but knows he loves to hear again.

His mental health isn't the best either, but he refuses to acknowledge it. There's a revolution at hand, he can't stop working. And fighting. And doing more and more and more. But sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes he goes into depressive episodes he can't control, and the medication is either addicting or the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Sometimes he's a bit too intense. Koala says he needs to calm down, that he has a problem with his fixation on the revolution and his past. Sabo keeps saying that it's fine. But he sometimes forgets or has blurry images of the fights and the people he has killed, filled with energy and excitement and like he has the power of a God. He doesn't like those. Enjoys the moment. Hates to forget it. Hates to know what he did during it too, even if it was for a good cause. Despises the look Koala gives him, also. Makes her promise not to tell Luffy about all of this.

But it's fine, he keeps saying. Sabo will keep trying to never forget anything ever again.

#hello i am very sad #i struggle with memory loss because of depression and shit and i thought wow yOU KNOW WHO ELSE STRUGGLES WITH MEMORY LOSS??? #this post is kind of like 'guess the disorder' type of thing #it's bipolar disorder btw i just didn't get too much into it #i mean i think sabo is bipolar that's a personal headcanon of mine #which btw the only info i know about it is deep research and two years of psychology in high school #something something i wanted to know if i was bipolar bc i haven't gone to therapy in........... uh.... a while. but i highly doubt it #now i just have a lot of info #anywayyy got real dark real quickly right #sabo i love you i don't want to hurt you but you're just so angst material #one piece #revolutionary sabo #koala one piece #asl brothers #monkey d. luffy #tw mental instability #tw depression #tw medication

[librarygf]

this is kinda rambling, but It's insane to me just how much stuff ian, and mickey too, goes through in such a short amount of time. Because if yev is born at the end of s4, and is assumed to be conceived in 3.06, and s5 takes places the next summer, it hasnt even been a year since ian ran away to the military by the time mickey goes to prison. And then while mickeys in prison for a year or so, (cause franny's conceived in s5 and born at the end of s6) dealing with all that, ian depressed, gets in a shitty relationship, (also ian just wanted to sleep with caleb, which is kinda a trend, like ian just goes along with things because he wants approval/ something to make him feel better), gets a new job, gets cheated on, sleeps with a woman and then Mickey comes back swinging, in the span of three days he gets his mom and mickey back and then loses both of them in one shot.

And it's like 4 months-ish between 7-8, and this kid is clearly struggling and then s8 takes place over like 2 months and then he's in prison for a while until his sentencing, all while mickeys doing whatever he's doing in mexico before coming back, so in the span of like two and a half years, he's gone through so much shit and he's only 21 ish, and Mickey's only like 22/23! their children, they're literal children. get them extreme therapy and I hope they're doing great, I know they're doing great, they got 2 for 1 therapy coupons 💕💕

i've thought about this so much too, especially the only a year and some months ish difference between s3 and s5!! like s3 is a summer season, then s4 is the winter after, and s5 is the summer and fall after that, and in that span of time so much happens to them. but knowing that also makes you see how much everything is tied together, and how ian's mental health crisis and mickey's s4 pain and relationship to terry and then devotion to ian happens in the direct aftermath of the traumatic events of s3b, which to me is such a sad and painful fact that also makes it so obvious how they're just two teenage boys struggling with the fallout of some of the worst things you can go through :( the timeline gets more iffy later i think bc suddenly all seasons are summer seasons and they're older than they should be in s11, but it's true that ian only just gets back on his feet before mickey and monica are back, he loses them, and then has everything in s8 happen :( and in s10 when he's scared about getting married and mentions his bipolar, i think it's so vital that he's only just gotten out of prison, which he went to bc of his mental health break :( like they really just haven't caught many moments to breathe, so thank god they have that now!! i know they'll do everything they can to give each other peace for the rest of their lives 🤕

#em answers #i relate though my teenage years were also a constant cycle of trauma and mental health breaks and therapy #and then doing it all over again but since i turned 18 and even better 20 #i've been experiencing so much more peace and i think they feel the same