#soujuro shizuki

[megashadowdragon]

Trigger Warning: Suicide

{I recommend listening to Shizuki Soujuurou theme while reading}

So, I just finished reading Mahoyo and I can’t stop thinking about what Soujuurou is hiding beneath the bandages he wears on his neck, which is one thing that gets teased throughout the entirety of the story but it’s never explained.

After piecing together some clues, my theory is that our boy is hiding scars from an attempted suicide by hanging that happened in the field of white flowers.

Here are the clues to back up my theory and my interpretation of the whole story (spoilers ahead):

Alice’s Question: Right after Soujuurou woke up in the mansion, Alice gave him back his bandages and asked abruptly if Aoko was aware of what was beneath them. It seems like a strange thing to ask in that situation - since their primary concern at that time was how to deal with this witness - unless it’s something relevant to the topic at hand: life or death for this guy. It’s important to notice that in this scene Soujuurou was pretty quick in covering his neck scars, while he’s not ashamed to show other scars on his body (see my next point).

Bite Wounds: After Soujuurou’s bath, our witches stumble upon our ripped boy while he’s changing himself in the atrium. They clearly notice traces of scars from bite wounds on his left arm, which he doesn’t seem to be ashamed of, but notice how he already has his bandages back on his neck. 

It seems to me that while biting marks from wild dogs might be a “trophy” for him, whatever lies beneath the bandages is something different that he’s quite embarrassed about.

Losing an Arm is Losing One’s Life: During a deleted gardening scene,

 Soujuurou and Alice find an old bear trap and they talk about how in nature a desperate animal might be willing to sacrifice one limb in order to get food for its cubs to ensure their survival. Soujuurou stated that in nature an animal that would make this sacrifice is basically ready to give up his life, since it will be unable to survive in the wild anymore. He can understand that because he lived in the harsh mountains, and throughout the story we are reminded how our male protagonist is pretty much a man-beast slowly adapting to civilization. I think that in this SoL scene Nasu is foreshadowing a deeper meaning for Soujuurou’s climatic battle against Lugh Beowulf.

Eiri Fumizuka’s Question: A certain handsome priest asked Soujuurou something interesting while they were talking about Aoko: “What if I asked you to commit suicide?” – this is what the youngest Aozaki sister faced when her grandpa asked her to reject her mundane life and inherit the Magic Crest of the family. Since in Mahoyo there’s an ongoing thematic parallelism between Soujuurou and Aoko, in my mind this scene reinforced that both protagonists have killed their past selves to start a new life.

Debt Repaid: During his badass moment, 

Soujuurou basically destroys both his arms in order to save Alice and Aoko from the golden werewolf. It’s something that he was trained all his life to do (most likely by the same assassin organization that trained Souichirou Kuzuki from Fate/Stay Night): hit efficiently, kill with one blow, don’t hold back anything since it will be the first and last significant moment of your life. He was ready to sacrifice his limbs since he was ready to sacrifice his life, like a desperate wild animal reaching for a leghold trap. He was mentally trained to do this since birth. But there’s an important difference during the climax of his character arc: he was not crushing the heart of an assassination target just because an organization said that it was his mission; by forfeiting his life against Lugh Beowulf, he was actually repaying a debt – his debt to Aoko for sparing his life. Soujuurou finally found a meaning in giving up his existence. Touko’s coup de grâce was nothing more than a mercy killing at that point, given his critical wounds.

A Sea of White Flowers: So here comes the Fifth Magic, Aoko’s miracle. Her Sorcery is a time exchange between her and Soujuurou: in order to undo his last five minutes of suicidal recklessness, she borrows ten years from his childhood and ages herself. What do we know about the scenery that she conjures on the battlefield?

It is a spring field that is free of impurity and grief, where there was nothing, but also where nothing was needed: Soujuurou’s most precious memory.

It would be easy to interpret it as a childhood memory, but remember that Soujuurou’s childhood was not ordinary: why would that field in particular be so special for a child that was being brutally trained every day of his youth? My explanation is that this is the place he reached to actually end that life, after he discovered that his only purpose was killing other people (and we know how he deeply resents that notion).

This would explain why this memory in particular was chosen: in order to revert the last five suicidal minutes, it seems thematically appropriate to recall a similar moment to fool the World itself – which was being rewritten by the Sorcery. That field is another place where Soujuurou gave up his life in the past, where he rejected his impure destiny as a killer but lost all purpose while doing so; notice the immediate effect this place has on Shizuki 

(thanks /u/Comictoon). All of this gave Aoko the push she needed to tap into the unknown True Magic of the Aozaki and unleash her true power.

What made her change, what made her overcome the barrier and pass through her fear - fear of losing herself, fear of being taken by the World - wasn’t any desire to win or a desire for power, but a simple boy with no meaning or purpose or desire. A life that wasn't “right” and a life that couldn’t desire or hope for anything. A life that couldn’t even accept itself. But even so she did. And created a miracle.

Time Robbery: But what about those five minutes? Once the Sorcery ends, reality will revert back. As Touko’s remarks, not even the Fifth Magic can definitely undo Soujuurou’s death. Aoko answers that she yeeted those five minutes in the far future, meaning that the debt incurred in the present has been left in the future. This is a terrible idea, because the distortion created by her Magic might cause the end of the world. Throwing those five minutes in the past wouldn’t be good either, since we can infer that erasing the past might have an effect similar to Goetia’s Ars Almadel Salomonis (spoiler for Fate/Grand Order). Aoko says she will take responsibility and do what she can while she lives, but she has yet to actually think of such a course. In other words, Aoko plans to shoulder her crime against the World and the responsibility of Soujuurou’s suicide by herself, which could probably be a major plot point in Mahoyo 2.

Aozaki Grandpa: Speaking of taking responsibilities, during the epilogue Aoko tries to avoid her duty as a mage by bringing Soujuurou to her grandfather, leaving to him the burden of erasing the memory of the past month. Soujuurou already doesn’t remember those fatal five minutes because they were removed from his time axis, but I think that Aoko here might fear that unless the boy forgets about her and Alice, he could probably repeat his reckless sacrifice during a future incident, since his mindset is not changed. Unsurprisingly, Aozaki Grandpa is not impressed by Soujuurou and refuses to erase his memory, since he’s basically a dead man walking for the old Sorcerer. This is a natural conclusion: for a Magus that longs for immortality, the act of taking one’s own life is inconceivable. We might speculate that Grandpa also knows about the Time Robbery and understands that Soujuurou’s death is not really undone. The Sorcerer refuses to waste efforts on someone that is doomed to return to being a corpse.

The Stars Twinkle on a Night Like This: In my opinion Mahoutsukai no Yoru is a story about self-acceptance. In the end, every main character must accept something about themselves in order to go forward: Aoko must accept her conflicting feelings for Soujuurou, Alice must accept that she doesn’t want to live alone, Soujuurou must accept his regrets for the past, Touko must accept that she doesn’t really want back her denied inheritance, and Beo must accept that he’s not actually the most perfect being in existence.

This is the real “Magic” that happened during that Holy Night: the miracle of forgiving ourself.

If you have read this far in my crazy headcanon, thank you! Feel free to comment my interpretation. I look forward to the Ufotable adaptation to see if they will include some other cues with their visual storytelling.

reddit comments on a diff post www . reddit . com/r/TwoBestFriendsPlay/comments/zyekjy/fate_series_and_tsukihime_creator_kinoko_nasu/

I honestly forgot About him trying to strangle himself but it WOULD make sense. Soujuurou clearly has very little survival instinct, like it’s there but even in his fight with Aoko he gives up early despite having potential to run a lot more than he looked. The only thing we seem to know is this interview confirmed Souji has no other tricks up his sleeve combat wise so it’s probably not magical in nature. Also I am curious about the field, it’s his dearest memory so I wonder if it was just a field in the mountain or it had a specific significance. He mentions it was a place he could be happy which is very melancholy.

I find it interesting too that Nasu says the injury on Soujyuro's neck is still a mystery for now but it felt like he gave enough hints in Mahoyo to make an educated guess considering his first meeting with Alice and saying best it's Aoko doesn't know about it, and later in the end when he sees the field of white flower he started to strangle himself, Im under the impression he attempted suicide, or maybe he killed someone in self defense, which would make his "killing is wrong" more poignant which Aoko even says in her monologue after he stops her from killing Touko because she stole his time and is aware of what happened to him.

While I agree with you that he was definitely willing to either kill himself, or gravely injure himself at least, in order to save Aoko and Alice during the final battle, I don't think he was suicidal prior.

Based on what we hear from his own self testimony, given how easy it was to end up dead in the mountains, it was a very simple life, where one usually wouldn't expect to see the next day. Though we still see him express fondness for things that a normal person would. Like, for example, his taking pleasure in looking at the autumn sky, and the more natural look of the stars at night. And he doesn't seem to have problems with killing or hurting animals if they attack him first, though he doesn't do the same with people.

#shizuki soujuurou #sizuki soujuurou #soujuurou shizuki #soujyuro sizuki #witch on the holy night #mahoutsukai no yoru #aoko aozaki #shizuki sojuro #soujuro shizuki

[goldoan]

#mahou tsukai no yoru #mahoyo #soujuurou shizuki #soujurou shizuki #soujuro shizuki #EYEBROWS-KUN #the visuals on this thing are gorgeous