#speaking of that ofc an official response to Spare will depend

[book-extravagance]

2023 BRF Predictions (from a Rookie Royal Watcher)

Going way out on a limb here, because predictions are never fun unless you do.

1. Archewell makes its social media debut on a POC-founded Twitter alternative.

2. Anti-Diana Youtubers have a Hot Moment with a breakout viral video. When the creator gets profiled in 2024 we discover that they broke into the 100,000+ bracket in income the year before.

3. George does an engagement with William. (He answers like two questions clearly and creditably. British royalists explode with admiration for this incredible exploit. I am underwhelmed, but concede that it was nice.)

4. Buckingham Palace releases a 3-page refutation nitpicking not-terribly-essential quotes from Harry's memoir. This causes the entire legal staff, such as it is, to have a collective coronary, but Charles is determined.

5. The press arse-kissing leading up to Charles's coronation is nauseating. (Okay, so I have one safe bet.) They emphasize how much he's a man of the people and also how many black clients friends he has. Some RR reporter writes an op-ed on how Charles is akshually far more anti-racist than Harry and Meghan.

6. Charles does bestow the Edinburgh duchy on Edward, shortly before the coronation. I'd say one month. Kingly sense of noblesse oblige and all.

7. a. What I'd like to see happen for the coronation: Harry and Meghan stay home. (They might not even get an invite, because I think Charles would work it out with them that if they intend to decline, he won't send it. Whatever. H & M are pleased to have no more to do with the dumpster fire.) Charles tells Andrew to stay home too. (Andrew throws a temper tantrum that will be related with great gusto in royal biographies years down the road.)

b. What I think will happen: Harry goes to the coronation because he's a glutton for punishment he has a misplaced, battered, yet still-operant sense of filial duty and Crown veneration... and Meghan goes to stand by her man. Fuckin' Andrew is there too, because Charles is already considered too much a wild-eyed radical and he needs the support of the worst dregs of the aristotrash, who all think Andrew has been rather mistreated.

We all know who the press spills more ink analyzing and digging up dirt on.

8. A would-be regicide gets arrested before the coronation. The government and press use this to beat the royalist drum harder than ever. There are grave op-eds about the danger that the royal family faces in these troubling times of social media radicalization.

Will and Kate brief that they will be making fewer public appearances due to security concerns. (Charles is rumored to be Unamused.)

9. Kate looks bloody stunning at the coronation and/or wears a new tiara.

10. Camilla also looks the part. Very shiny.

11. Kate astounds and impresses us all by doing two solo foreign visits. At least one is European. Similar to the time she went to Denmark and appeared with Mary.

12. Season 2 of Archetypes features a genuinely tone-deaf moment (more tone-deaf than having Andy Cohen and Judd Aptow on for the grand finale). Press is fuckin' gleeful.

13. Someone publishes a questionable tell-all about Elizabeth's final days.

14. Charles has a health scare. Maybe planned surgery with a longer-than-expected recovery. He pulls through well in the end, but not after the papers have enjoyed running hundreds of articles speculating about what an early William ascension would look like.

(Spoiler alert: They all reckon it looks like a Tory's wet dream! But they don't say it in those words, of course.)

15. A Twitter account pops up, tracking either William's or Harry's itinerary & flights. If it's William, it's taken down pronto and there is much hang-wringing about the invasiveness of the press. If it's Harry, it stays up and, bonus! Musk has a truly hilarious reason to explain why.

16. Meghan appears at a very political gala. Probably not Biden but a high-ranking Democrat, like Pelosi. Americans are pretty shrug because Meghan's giving Last Year's News at that point, but the UK press goes into a complete meltdown.

17. An unnamed victim brings another suit against Andrew. The British press has significantly less to say about this than a financially independent American going "partisan" four years after the UK establishment pretty unambiguously told her to piss off and die. It's settled quietly. Charles manages to avoid it officially getting out that he pays the settlement until 2024.

18. There is chatter from "palace sources" that Charles is considering having Beatrice do some engagements in order to bring some youth and glam to the rota. The only ones considering this are some courtiers, and the "chatter" goes nowhere because neither Charles nor Bea want this.

19. Another big story from "palace sources" is that Kate has also been struggling with depression, etc (or possibly a miscarriage). The narrative is that Kate herself would never dream of telling anyone about this or ever speaking in public but her dearest friends want to speak out because people who exemplify grace never get credit... Kate is so brave and she's so relatable and also this is how you deal with mental health problems, Harry and ME-AGAIN!!1!!! Keep calm and carry on without a pity party, like an ADULT! Will and Kate allow this narrative to stand (because of course; it came from them), thus doing real damage to the public perception of mental illness and how to best treat it. Otoh, the press goes to town crowning Kate the and Patron Saint Princess of Ordinary People Struggling with Mental Health. (The press does not mention Kate's previous claim that she's never suffered depression because of how wonderful her upbringing was.)

20. Harry and Meghan's popularity in the US spikes around the time of the Spare release and then they get a little stale in 2023. Ironically, the hundreds of references to their "falling star" or "loss of luster" in (American) media actually helps keep their brand pumped up.

21. They come in strong with the unveiling of a big Archewell initiative in December, though. It's been underway all year and they're only spiking the football once they get results. They bring some charity to international prominence with this event. (I can't possibly hazard a guess as to what kind of initiative or event. One thing I seriously respect the Sussexes for—their humanitarian work is creative, authentic, never cookie-cutter. So I'll wait and see.)

22. British papers and news programmes, without directly referencing William, start pushing the narrative that "Open Relationships" might be Okay, actually? Some are skeptical, but! Experts say they're hip and relatable, but also traditional, and they've long been the well-kept secret to a healthy long marriage!! (Obviously I don't have anything against consensual open relationships. But the purposefulness of this Engineered Cultural Moment will be hard to miss.)

23. And you know what this means! Earthshot in Sydney, baby!! Oceania tour time, bitches!!! All three kids, cute as a three-buttoned coatdress!!!? Let's gooooo.

Big splashy Wales moment, it gets good play in mainstream press. Louis behaves fine for his age but gets side-eyed for a random look on his face as it appears in one photo.

24. I think Charles will be able to refrain from briefing against Rishi Sunak for 2023.

He's gonna do a lotta that sort of thing in the future, though.

#tagging this as NOTHING lol #just a homework assignment for myself really #this whole blog is just my study notes for this deep dive #actually i think charlie will show remarkable and uncharacteristic restraint in his briefing during 2023 #it's the year of his reign that he'll be under most scrutiny and he knows it #i also think at least some of the leaks so far were because he didn't have his new office properly disciplined yet #... but don't you worry #we'll get Prince Palace Sources Say back again in the future #and i for one look forward to it #yes i do think his palace will release a refutation to Spare but that's not the same #he'll put his own damn name on it and i respect that #speaking of that ofc an official response to Spare will depend #on how behind-the-scenes relationships and negotiations for the coronation go #i think Charles wants the Sussexes there very much actually #so i expect he's working on them #and if they have agreed to come his response will be much more muted in his mum's 'recollections may vary' vein #but if H and M are hemming and hawing and/or bow out all bets are off lol #a third alternative is leaving the war to william to conduct which is also a bit lolll #ofc it's all messy and kinda sad but the notion of charles now thinking himself #too REGAL to get in the mud... you handle it william i believe in you boy... #yeah i would definitely have a chuckle