#spent th last few months going out every nitht until i couldnt !

[psychotickenesis]

I started applying for game design school but I think I would really regret it because I have hated working in an office for the past year and I. Feel like i'm wasting my life, Like I only have so few years left is what I Keep thinking knowing that my health is failing and I want to be outside or doing something that makes me feel fulfilled or happy, But I still don't know what that is :^( I am not built for the grind I should be sitting in circles kissing people telling stories and making ceramics

#sorry i keep doing all this bleak talk abt dying . its 90% of whats on my mind lately as treatments dont work like i hoped #im my dr's favorite downhill patient hehe #just to be clear im not like . on a terminal illness here its more like yeas i hav a high chance of a shortend lifespan due 2 illness and #meds and risk . lol . and as things r just progressing despite me having 100k+ a year treatment its not brightskies #also sorry im so online ive been off work due to health and just on my damn phone when i should b making art #i am taking a break from socializing bcuz i burnt out hehe #spent th last few months going out every nitht until i couldnt ! #anyway@ . if u made it this far ummm heres a cookie 🍪 ily