#that memory fuels me to never surrender to indifference and make the pain in this world worse

[canadian-buckbeaver]

Give Me a Chance (ch.3)

Prologue:  You cheated on Stretch with Red, a mistake that you would never forgive yourself for.  Once Stretch found out, he broke up with you and cut all ties. You can’t move on.

Another day.  More pain.  You sat on your bed, slowly rubbing the sleep from your eyes.  You knew that it was late afternoon by the way that the sun was trying to burn through your curtains.  Another day, slept away.

You didn't care.  You no longer cared.  Time was nothing.

How could anything hurt so bad? All you felt was pain these days.  There was no joy, no love.  You felt empty and then pain. Your very heart wanted to explode.  You wanted to leave this earthly plane if only not to feel like this anymore.

Your friends had been so kind, texting and calling, trying to encourage you to come outside again.  To live again.

But you couldn't.

Not without him.

Stretch... your soulmate.  Your everything...

How could you have been so stupid?  How could you throw him away like it was nothing?  Just for a mistake?

It wasn't Red's fault, you knew that.  Blaming the sharp skeleton was your way of guarding yourself.  Of protecting your own image from yourself.  It wasn't like you had been forced against your will. You had just loved the feeling of being wanted. Stretch had been flirted with the entire time the two of you were a thing and it had driven you crazy.

He had never given into temptation though. He belonged to you alone.

And now... now he didn't.

Stupid.

You held the bear tight in your arms, sniffing as you felt the burning sting of tears return.  Why.... why didn't you say no? Why couldn't you go back in time and fix everything?  If only for a split second you would right all wrongs.  You would make his favourite honey cookies again, watch as he ate them with that soft look in his eyes and...

There was a knock on your door.

Freezing, you turned to look at the door.  The apartment you lived in was one of the most secure in the area. So it was probably one of your neighbours checking in on you, making sure that you didn't die.

You should probably answer the door. Before management called your parents again. With a sigh, you  rolled out of bed, not even caring to fix your appearance.  No one cared what you looked like anyways. They knew that you were a shut in, probably a few years from becoming a crazy cat lady.

Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.  You froze at the sight, your eyes taking in a tall, lanky form.  The familiar orange hoodie and black sweatpants. "Stretch?" you managed to whisper out.  It couldn't be.  Not after everything.

He looked tired and defeated.  The eye lights were dim and a darker orange than you remembered, and the bags under his eyes were darker and deeper than before you realized, another jolt of guilt rushing through your body.  You had hurt him. He gave a sigh, looking up and down the hallway before looking back at you. "can I come in?" he asked, "or would you prefer me to stand out in the hallway?"

"Oh! Come in!" You stepped aside, watching as he slowly came in.  Every detail of him seemed in hyperfocus.  Every curve of bone, every small, minute scratch.

You couldn't take your eyes off of him.  The last time you had seen him was when he saw that large mark on your neck.

You wouldn't to absorb every detail to memory.  Just in case.

The skeleton settled easily on the couch, like he belonged there.  He didn't say anything to you yet.  He folded his legs and looked down at his hands, staring at them like he had never seen them before.

Careful not to break the spell, you settled next to him, not saying a word.  You could barely breathe.  Stretch was here, in your room.

The atmosphere was tense between you two.  Thick and dry, quiet and all encompassing, settling around the two of you like a thick, unwelcome fog.  At the back of your mind you could remember when it was light and airy, the air sparking between you two.

Seemed like that too was nothing more than a distant memory.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, finally Stretch gave a sigh and looked at you.  His eyes were hurt but lacked the signs of indifference.  "Why?" he demanded.  "Why did you do it? Was I not enough for you?  Was there something that I had missed?"

You jumped slightly, not expecting him to be so direct. It was your turn to look at your hands as you shook your head.  You couldn't meet his eyes. You couldn't bear to see what you had done to him.  "No... it.. it was stupid... a mistake.  I'll... I'll always regret it... you and I... we were the best thing that ever happened to me."

"then why did you throw it all away? there has to be a reason."

Again you shook your head.  "I... I don't know."

There was a cold silence, the tension being replaced with heavy anger.  "you don't know." he repeated back to you, spitting the words like venom.  He adjusted his posture, staring at you.  "tell me, what's so hard to answer?  is the question too difficult for you?  or perhaps you don't know why you decided to fuck another monster?  or was it a 'moment of passion' that you will always want to forget?" His fingers were clenched into fists, shaking with anger.

He had never sounded like this before.  But he was right.  He deserved his own closure after what you did to him.

"I just... I was scared.  I loved you so much and..."

"so you decided that making me hate you was the perfect solution to this?"

"It wasn't that!  I could see how the others looked at you and..."

"did you see me looking back at them?"

"No, but-"

"i'm not understanding."

"Please just let me finish!" You begged him, tears already forming in your eyes.  Stretch scoffed at your emotions, looking away.

But he did not speak.

It was a sign that he was open to listen.

"I... I hated how the others looked at you.  How they would flirt with you, how they would judge me for being with you. When Red first started flirting and putting the moves on me... I had first thought it a way to get back at you.  That there would be others who wanted me too. That you weren't the only one who could have options... but I... it went too far.  After I got drunk and I was upset with you, Red listened to me.  He heard me talk about how much I loved you and needed you and how the others hurt... one thing led to another and... and then..."  You couldn't say it.  He already knew what had trapised that night.

"why didn't you say anything to me?" he asked you, eye sockets narrowing.  "if this was supposed to be a partnership, why didn't you say that this was bothering you?"

"I was already labeled as jealous from Muffet.  I didn't want to add any more fuel to the fire.  I just..." your eyes filled with tears again.  "I miss you... I need you Stretch. I love you so much it hurts.  I can't be another day without you.  PLease.  You're my everything. I am so, so, so sorry. If I could do anything to go back in time and fix it I would.  I would never get jealous of the other girls.  I would know that you were mine.  I would cook your favourite cookies every day, make more puns and jokes... I just...."

His fingers tipped your chin up, letting you look into his eye sockets.  They were warmer now having lost the cold anger and indifference that once filled them.  Perhaps...

"i missed you too." he said, as you felt your heart skip a beat.  "i didn't want to, but i did. i though about you every day. it destroyed me." he sighed, looking at you.  "but, but perhaps that was my mind trying to convince me to give you a second chance."

Your heart fluttered at his words, your lungs wheezing softly.  It was everything that you had wanted to hear.  Everything that you had dreamed about and now...

"Stretch..." you whispered, leaning in to him just as he began to lean in towards you. Your lips touched his teeth and there was that familiar crackle of magic, sparks between the two of you.

* * * * * *

You woke with a start, the static from your blanket waking you from your dream. You sat up, looking around your room, the treacherous blanket slipping from your shoulders. You were in your bed, all the sheets gathered at the bottom, your pillow tossed away in some far corner. It was dark, probably still late at night or early morning.

You were all alone except for the teddy bear in your arms. There was no Stretch.  There was no kiss.

There was no forgiveness or make up.

You were all alone.

Your eyes filled with tears, your throat constricting and you began to sob. Why... why of all dreams to wake from... why was it that one?  The one tiny, shred of warmth, the small feather of hope that came with the dream had been ripped from you, leaving you exposed and raw.

Whimpers turned into full sobs as you allowed your emotions full control of your body.  Sobbing, you seized your prized teddy bear, the one Stretch had won for you, and curled up in a ball on your bed.  Surrendering to the sadness, you allowed the darkness to take over.

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